A/N: As a general forewarning, it's safe to say this story is pretty heavy on all sorts of triggers. I'll provide everything in the tags as much as I can.
The Supernatural aspects of the story will appear soon, don't worry, this is a kinda long set up chapter. Set in Season 12 (somewhere between eps 67 btw) for just the set of characters I'm playing around with but I'm staying away from canon plotlines.
Shout out to my wonderful beta Peddlergirl for relentlessly trying to catch all my grammar mistakes that still slip by even when I have reread and edited a chapter for the third time. I love you girl!
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything Supernatural, only my plotlines and OCs, and even they I consider a person of their own, so no stealing!
Disclaimer 2: there are some minor details in this story that I borrowed from the Iron Druid Chronicles, but the main focus is not on characters from IDC.
Chapter 1 – Haunted by the past
Vic Mignogna – Nothing I Won't Give
Stepping off the airplane after a ten-hour flight shouldn't have left anyone so exuberant, yet Alla was brimming with energy in anticipation of meeting her friend. They had arranged to meet up right outside the exit of the baggage claim area that she was just leaving behind.
The fact that she was even here was absolutely insane if you delved further into it. She had known Ivy Stark for almost a year now, but given that their friendship was geographically challenged, this was the first time they were going to see each other in person. It took months of careful planning and saving up money, but Alla was finally able to get all her travel documents in order and buy plane tickets to the US.
Beyond the excitement, her stomach was in knots for other, less pleasant reasons as well. The visit wasn't purely for pleasure, so to speak. She had one small – but for her, pressing – matter to take care of, one that had been bugging her for the better half of the last decade. Actually, ever since the previous time she had been to the States…
"Alla!"
Her name being called over the murmur and general noise of the airport as she walked through the sliding doors just further plunged her into her quickly darkening thoughts. The memories of the years of vicious teasing and harassment had resurfaced before she could have managed to squash them down and focus on scanning the crowd, looking for that one familiar face just outside the arrivals exit. She pointedly ignored the startled faces of the ignorant assholes who couldn't discern the difference in pronunciation between her name and that of the Muslim god as they glanced around warily to pinpoint the source of the shout.
The young woman was surprisingly easy to spot, despite Alla having only ever seen her in pictures, though admittedly following the gazes of the before mentioned pricks did expedite the process. With her suitcase's wheels creaking slightly at the sudden change in velocity, Alla practically sprinted over those few yards right into the waiting arms of her friend, enveloping each other in a huge hug. Funnily enough, there wasn't a shred of awkwardness between them, as if they had been neighbors their whole lives and the taller girl was only returning from a week-long trip abroad or something. If nothing else, Ivy seemed utterly oblivious to the mistrustful glares pointed at her back that Alla couldn't escape witnessing, unfortunately. At least security had their wits about them enough to not mistake Ivy's shouts for a terrorist threat.
"Would it be weird if I said you look much cuter in real life?" Alla laughed in an attempt to shake off her gloomy mood as she held her friend at arm's length to take a better look at her. The two-inch height difference between them was nothing, allowing the embrace to be effortless between them. Initially, the Ukrainian girl imagined Ivy to be much shorter, though admittedly she had trouble with the conversions between the measurement units she was familiar with and the ones used in the US.
Many would have probably said that Ivy looked a bit plain, with her light brown, mousy hair, blue eyes, and simple features, but not Alla. All she could see was her friend's immensely kind soul that shone through every flicker of gesture she made, every word she spoke. The only thing the Ukrainian girl could think of was that Ivy was beautiful inside and out. She was her dearest friend.
"Khm…" the man standing beside them – whom Alla hadn't even noticed at first, being too focused on Ivy – cleared his throat. He was fairly tall, maybe 5'10 or 11, but honestly that seemed like his most redeeming quality looks wise. He was more on the scruffy side, somewhat like a truck driver returning from a roundtrip with not a care in the world as to how he appeared. The fact that he was feeling uncomfortable, and maybe even a tad jealous of the girls' interaction, was clearly written all over his face. Although, it could have been the result of the whole Allah Misconception too. Who knows? There was no way to tell. In either case, Alla instantly found him disagreeable.
"Sorry," Ivy's sense of decorum had her ears burning slightly with embarrassment as she backed out of the other girl's hold to introduce them. "Alla this is my husband, Aaron. Aaron, meet my friend whom I have spoken so much about, Alla."
"Hi," the foreigner waved at him a bit self-consciously with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Her accent was practically nonexistent, going against every stereotype people had about people from Eastern European countries. Though the fact that she had lived in the US for nearly three years in her preteens had much more to do with that than any English education she might have had in her home country.
"Hi. It's nice to have the confirmation that it really is a girl who has been occupying my wife's attention practically 24/7 for the last ten months," he laughed awkwardly. Aaron probably meant his comment as a joke, but Ivy sent him an unamused glare, trying to mask the tinge of hurt at his lack of trust in her. Like she would ever cheat on him.
Honestly speaking, the Starks' relationship had been strained for a long time, even before Alla had popped into Ivy's online life by a twist of unlikely events and their shared interests. Aaron and Ivy had known each other since childhood, and he had seemed like the most supporting guy in the world back then, especially given her health issues that developed over the years, but ever since the wedding… she wasn't so sure anymore.
Alla snorted in response, internally deciding that telling the man that she was actually bisexual – so technically the accusation wasn't necessarily unfounded where she was considered – was not the wisest course of action. Of course, it also takes two to tango, and Ivy didn't swing that way, but in any case, Alla's feelings were genuinely platonic in this case too, so there was no need to add fuel to the fire of his jealousy.
Without any forewarning, Ivy swayed a little on her feet, suddenly looking pale, and quite honestly a bit ill.
"Hey, are you alright?" Alla caught her by the elbow, being the first one to notice. "It's not me, is it? I tried really hard to pay attention to only using fragrance-free stuff, and I haven't even dyed my hair in like six weeks."
"No, no, you are fine. The other hundred people who have walked past us in the last twenty minutes on the other hand…" Ivy trailed off, trying to fight off a headache that was quickly becoming unbearable.
Ever since she could remember, she had these spells where she became violently ill with flu-like symptoms for no apparent reason. After a while, they had noticed it would get worse when she was around people, and some of her relatives had even joked that she was allergic to humanity or life. Well, in a sense that description wasn't too far off. For the longest time, doctors couldn't tell what was wrong with her. After a while they came up with the theory that she was just sensitive to chemicals, her body incapable of processing and getting rid of them like normal people could. So these – essentially – toxins would build up in her tissues, making her ill for days in the process, until they left her system.
Limiting her exposure to chemicals in her own life and of those closest to her was something she could control, with watching what she ate and using fragrance-free and natural… well, everything. From detergents to shampoos and conditioners to deodorants and the cleaning products she used around her own house, but once she stepped outside… The brunt of the problem was the perfume that lingered in the air from hair sprays, aerosol deodorants, EDTs, EDPs, EDCs and all that, exposing her to chemicals even when the person leaving them behind was long gone. In the grander scheme of things, this meant that Ivy rarely left their house, relying on Aaron in most things to take care of her. At least she was able to work from home, running her own small business and all that online, which allowed her to feel less like a burden.
Sometimes though, it was a really lonely life. Alla burst into that state of isolation as a breath of fresh air with her constant presence, support, and understanding, even when it meant that meeting for real was hindered by more factors than just distance. Like the fact that Ivy was probably never going to be able to come to Ukraine to return the visit, putting the strain of travel solely on Alla.
And that brings us back to the precautions Alla tried to take before meeting her friend. Unfortunately, the fact that the Starks had to wait for her in the arrivals lobby of the airport, and that any residue Alla might have picked up from the flight rubbed off on Ivy during their hug, were evidently not helping her situation. But they just couldn't help themselves. They had waited for so long to be able to hang out with each other for real. This was a moment to cherish.
"Right, let's get out of here," Aaron agreed gruffly, reaching for Alla's suitcase with a quick glance at her for permission, and they were off towards the exit where the fresh air would probably help the ailing girl tremendously.
After they got in the car, Alla looked at her friend with worry, contemplating if their previously made plans for the next two days were actually a good idea. What with the flight and all, even if it was a relatively short one. The recirculated air of various perfumes of the two hundred or so people on board was going to be a real blow to Ivy's system. Especially if she was already feeling out of sorts to begin with.
"You know, you don't have to come with me tomorrow if you are not up to it. I can cope on my own." Of course, Alla would have preferred not going alone, to have someone there to rely on if she got overwhelmed or too stressed, but it wasn't a must. She had decided long ago that this was something she had to do for her own closure and peace of mind, and honestly, nothing was going to stop her.
"Nonsense, I'll be fine, just bear with me if I'm a bit lethargic," Ivy turned back to look at her with a reassuring smile.
"I have no idea what I did to deserve a friend like you," Alla commented wistfully, laying her head down on the brown haired girl's seat by her shoulder.
"Back at you," her blue eyes twinkled, a fond smile tugging at her lips as she patted her friend's hair.
Neither of them noticed Aaron's knuckles practically turning white from how tightly he was clutching the steering wheel.
They went out for an early dinner to celebrate their long-awaited get-together, then Alla just crashed in the Starks' guest bedroom upon arriving back at their house. Almost skipping showering or even brushing her teeth altogether, but common sense won out in those regards. Her system was still on Eastern European time and all, so it was way past midnight for her, even if it was only 7 PM in Virginia, and she was just simply beat.
The next morning, Alla awoke to furious and barely contained voices filtering into her room from somewhere beyond the closed door. She could only guess, but it might have been from the kitchen. The blond girl couldn't quite make out the actual words being exchanged between her hosts, but it sounded pretty intense. Definitely not something she wanted to get in the middle of.
Glancing at her phone, she decided she might as well get up and ready for the day since her alarm would have gone off in ten minutes anyway. In order to avoid drawing attention to the fact that she was awake, she disabled the alert on her cell and got dressed, made her bed and tidied up as quietly as she could, not wanting to seem ungrateful for the free lodging or like a total slob. After grabbing her amenities bag, she made her way towards the bathroom to finish up her morning routine. Once in the hallway though, there was no escaping catching snippets from the married couple's argument.
"Aaron, I don't know how else to say this, and quite frankly I'm tired of repeating myself." Alla heard Ivy exhale a puff of air in frustration. "I've made these plans with Alla months ago. She needs a friend to be there for her."
"I just don't understand why you think it's okay to put your health at risk."
Alla felt incredibly guilty for eavesdropping, but Aaron's concerns weren't unfounded as far as she knew, and she couldn't help but get rooted in her place, curious as to how the dispute would unfold. Why was Ivy so stubborn if she was really feeling unwell? I mean, I did offer for her to sit this one out…
"Because I'm being a friend. She has been there for me in more ways than I can count and now she is the one that needs me. Besides I know my limits, I'm going to be okay. It's not like a little headache has stopped me from getting on with my life before."
"You've literally just met the girl yesterday, Ivy!"
"If you think the countless hours we've spent talking online means nothing, you are seriously deluded. She probably knows stuff nobody else knows about me!"
"Wait, not even me? I'm your husband for fuck's sake!" His tone was so jaded and outraged that the only thing that convinced Alla that no actual physical violence occurred was the fact that she knew she would have surely heard evidence of that in the form of breaking plates or something crashing or Ivy's outcry of pain.
"This is exactly why I don't share things with you sometimes," Ivy pointed out in a calm dejectedness, not deigning to stoop down to the level of the shouting match Aaron was attempting to pull her into. "All I get is judgment and snide comments. How about you try supporting me in my decision, instead of stressing me out unnecessarily to make everything worse?"
The sound of approaching steps drew Alla out of her captivation, and she hastily retreated to the bathroom to finally get on with her business. Not even ten seconds later a light knock came on the door.
"Alla, you in there? Can you get ready in five? I want to head out early in case we hit traffic towards the airport," Ivy reasoned, her voice back to its normal, upbeat tone as if nothing was amiss. Made you wonder how often these fights occurred between them if she could step right past it in a heartbeat. Though it also could be that she just didn't want to drop all that drama and tension on her friend, and was only putting up a cheerful front. Especially today, knowing what the agenda for their day was.
"Yeah, sure," Alla replied, deep in thought about what she should do. What if Aaron was right about Ivy's current state of health? She couldn't do this to her friend. In either case, she got ready then stepped back out into the hallway, only to run right into Aaron.
Geez, if looks could kill. His gaze was filled with deep-seated contempt, and Alla couldn't help but gulp nervously as she scurried past him with a barely audible "good morning" to disappear in the guest bedroom.
The man was undoubtedly scary when he wanted to be, the semi-amicable first impression she had of him all but shattered.
Alla took a deep breath to compose herself, refusing to be frightened, then quickly stuffed her amenities kit in her overnight bag that she had packed back at home for this two-day outing within her trip. She swung that along with the purse that held her passport, plane tickets, her phone and money over her shoulder, and exited her assigned bedroom with a bit of trepidation. Deep inside, she wished she could avoid seeing Aaron again before they left, even if not saying goodbye was considered rude.
By some work of miracle, it was just Ivy on the other side of the door, beaming at her cheerfully, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the garage. Upon entering, it turned out that apparently she was all set to go, her bags already in the trunk, garage gate open and inviting them to head out. Alla dropped hers right beside Ivy's, closing the boot with a swift motion, her mind running a hundred miles an hour. Should she bring up Ivy's health issues now? Or in the car? In any case, she still needed a ride to the airport, might as well talk it out on the way.
Surprisingly enough an opening to bring the topic up made itself known sooner than expected.
"Uhm… shouldn't we say goodbye?" Alla cautiously probed when Ivy jumped into the driver's seat without so much as a glance back towards the door to see whether Aaron had come out to see them off or not. Which, incidentally, he didn't.
"Aaron had some business to take care of. He had left already," the brunette diverted, though nervously playing with her slightly curly locks with one hand.
The Ukrainian girl gave her friend a skeptical look. Not even five minutes had passed since her encounter with the man in the hallway, not to mention their other car was still there right beside them in the garage, but then she let it go with a shrug. She hadn't been too enthusiastic to have that potential confrontation anyway, only brought it up because good manners dictated it.
As Alla got into the car, she saw Ivy wincing in pain and rubbing at her temples, her complexion paling and her skin getting slightly clammy.
"Ivy…" Alla tried to ease into the subject with a solicitous glance but got cut off before the protest could've even left her mouth.
"I'm fine, don't worry. Just a rough morning." Her light blue eyes implored her friend to believe her. Alla got the distinct impression that there was no way in hell she was going to stay at home and be near Aaron at the moment. This trip – and some distance – was something she desperately needed, no matter how much her body might be objecting to the effort involved. Do what you think you can't do, right?
"Uhm… should I drive?" the blonde offered as a compromise, her voice just slightly wavering with anxiety at her own suggestion. She had gotten her driver's license years ago, and according to her research, her license from home was valid up to six months here in Virginia since it had the English translation on it alongside the Cyrillic characters of her native language, but the prospect of actually driving in the US was… daunting. Everything was just huge. The cars. The roads. And confusing. Especially the intersections on freeways. Not to mention that she had never driven automatic transmission cars before. Supposedly they were much easier to handle than manual transmission cars, but just the novelty factor alone would occupy a significant part of her attention.
"Nah, that won't be necessary," Ivy chuckled at the wide-eyed expression Alla adorned, which in a way was comforting, since who would have a sense of humor if they were truly feeling shitty, right? "Sweet of you to offer though."
With that, the brunette turned the ignition on and eased out of the garage, closing the door behind her with the remote that she had stashed in the little nook on the dashboard above the glove compartment.
The hour-and-a-half-long drive to the airport was relatively uneventful, and awfully quiet since they forewent turning on the radio. Futile as it might have been, it was an honest attempt at avoiding aggravating the headache that Alla was pretty sure was only getting worse by the minute, judged by the subtle frown lines on Ivy's face.
They made it to the Ronald Reagan Airport with plenty of time to spare, so to prevent Ivy from having to endure the perfume plume for longer than strictly necessary, they instead decided to take a walk in the Crystal City area before actually going in for check-in.
Unfortunately, despite all the precautions they took, Ivy was still miserable by the time they boarded their flight, so the first thing she asked for from the flight attendant was a warm wet towel to put on her face, the extra cost be damned! The warmth of the cloth eased her headache some, and it also acted as a barrier and filter between her immediate personal space and the rest of the air in the plane, so she kept it on throughout the whole ride for good measure.
No need to say, it didn't help with Alla's guilt over the situation, but she got the distinct feeling that bringing it up again would just annoy the hell out of Ivy. So instead, she grabbed onto her hand and squeezed it tightly. Ivy seemed to be comforted by the gesture because she didn't let go even after she drifted off into a light sleep.
The beauty nap perked the brunette right up by the time they were about to disembark in Florida, whereas it was Alla who started to look positively nauseous now that she was so close to the place where the brunt of her childhood nightmares originated from.
Surprisingly, as soon as she set foot in the airport that trepidation lessened some. They must have done some renovations in the thirteen years since she last saw the place on that fateful day when she finally had been able to go home after nearly three years of emotional torture. Nothing looked familiar.
Except for one detail. The entrances to the restrooms were the same, no doors just curved, mosaic tiled hallways that hid the outer area with the sinks and hand dryers.
Without conscious thought, her feet guided her through sheer muscle memory towards one particular ladies' room. This was where she had escaped to all those years ago, to wash off the blood when her stitches had pulled against the wound on her wrist because of the weight of the luggage she had to carry…
"Alla, where are you going?" Ivy asked as she placed her hand softly on the blonde's shoulder, her face furrowed with worry.
That was enough to snap Alla out of the memory, and she glanced around, finding herself in the middle of the busy path in the terminal, people weaving around them with annoyed glares.
"Uhm, nowhere. Let's just go and pick up the car," she suggested with a small smile, trying to assuage Ivy's alarm. Pretending that she needed to go to the bathroom might have been less suspicious, but on second thought Alla definitely did not want to go in there.
The brunette assessed her friend for a few seconds then nodded, returning the smile with a tentative one of her own and looping her arm into hers, tugging Alla towards the rental car booth.
The drive over the causeway across the bay was giving the blonde flashbacks, but oddly enough these were the more tranquil kind, just images of the water and sunset. It was peculiar to be surrounded by water and still be on an actual road. There were no structures like these in Ukraine. Probably that's what had made the memory stick so profoundly, even though Alla had only ever taken this route twice. Once when she had arrived, and once when she had finally been able to leave. The second being practically in the dead of night so didn't even really count since she had seen nothing of the scenery.
Ivy kept glancing over at the girl beside her. She was uncharacteristically quiet, nothing like her usual bubbly and goofy self that Ivy got so used to over the internet. Alla was just staring out the window, seemingly lost in her own world. On some level, the somberness was understandable, these were definitely not happy memories she was reliving. On the other hand, the silence made it very difficult for Ivy to know how Alla was really doing and if her intervention was needed.
As they reached the peninsula, Alla straightened from her slightly crouched posture, squaring her shoulders as if preparing for a fight. For a while there weren't any distinguishing features on the buildings, nothing she recognized or stood out for her, though admittedly her time here had been very sheltered. That should probably be the understatement of the year. Or the decade. She hadn't been allowed anywhere that wasn't sanctioned by the church and had been forced to take their private buses in between their buildings too.
And then finally the girls reached their particular destination. Everything was… different, much to Alla's astonishment. In her memories, the downtown area was more like a grayish prison. Dull and ugly to look at. Instead, the town before her more closely resembled a tropical tourist attraction, with its palm trees and well maintained – and probably recently spruced up – streets and shops.
Honestly, the contrast was so shocking it made Alla laugh out loud and startle Ivy.
"Everything alright?" the brunette asked tentatively, mildly questioning her sanity.
"Yeah, just… I think I had been anticipating something more terrifying to happen if I came here," the girl mused out loud, her dark blue eyes looking around curiously now. "I'm happy to find this place doesn't actually have a hold on me… it's just a city. It doesn't even look anything like back then."
"Well, that's good to hear. Do you want to drive around some more?" Ivy inquired, she too relaxing somewhat. In all honesty, she was mentally preparing for some sort of meltdown on Alla's part and running contingency and damage control plans in her mind in order to save their day with everyone's emotional well-being intact.
"Could we park somewhere? Of course, only if you don't mind…" the blonde asked hesitantly, and quite frankly a little unsure of her own decision. Every step she took further down this rabbit hole made her feel like the next one might be the last straw, and she would snap. She found her own calm reaction to the situation a bit too good to be true so far.
"Are you kidding? This is about you, whatever you want or need," she waved her concerns off with a huff, already looking for a suitable place to leave the car.
Walking these streets was even more surreal for Alla. Of course, rationally she knew that there was practically no chance of anyone recognizing her. She looked so different from her thirteen-year-old self, plus hardly any of those people from then were still here. Nevertheless, she couldn't help but feel exposed.
"That is where I had spent the brunt of my days," the blonde said as they rounded the corner, pointing at a taller, cream-colored building. "From 8 AM to 10 PM with only two half-an-hour meal breaks, seven days a week. Well, six for me. Because they so graciously allowed me to have school one day a week. And that is the Starbucks most of my weekly 30 dollars of pay ended up in. I know it was a silly thing to spend money on, but that was one of the very few joys I had, and I just couldn't resist indulging myself. I didn't really have much self-control as a preteen… I suppose that might still be true now."
Ivy didn't really know how to respond as her friend revealed these little tidbits of her everyday life from back then. She knew of Alla's background, they had spoken extensively over the internet of her time in the cult and what could only be described as child slavery. Seeing the "crime scene" so to speak made Ivy's blood boil. How could anyone do such a thing to a kid? And how was Alla even keeping it together so well? Ivy was truly in awe.
"And this is where mom had usually been," the Ukrainian girl gestured at the building with the glass atrium they just passed. "How far is this? A hundred yards? And I barely saw her. So close, yet so far. I can count on one hand the number of free days we had together during those three years. California was even worse in that regard than here. I was out on a ranch in the mountains while she was in the city. Thank God that only lasted four months. Even that was too much at eleven."
Alla sighed, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to them. She had been keeping her voice down since members of the church tended to mill around their buildings, and the last thing she wanted was someone catching on regarding the topic of their conversation. So far they seemed to be in the clear.
"Do you want to go in?" Ivy tentatively asked, her eyes darting unsurely between Alla and the nearest building. Truthfully, that was the last thing she wanted to do, but if that was the very thing that would bring closure to the girl, then she would suck up her own fears and support her.
"Actually… let's go down to the beach. In my two and a half years here I never actually got to see the beach," Alla decided, something akin to childlike glee of anticipation setting in on her face as she glanced down the road that she knew eventually led to the shore.
"That's an excellent idea," Ivy agreed with a huge smile.
"I mean, I accomplished what I had set out to do. I came back here and proved to myself that nothing would happen, that I could face them. I don't need to actually walk into their buildings to… to… confirm that I'm over this whole thing…" the blond girl faltered, her hands starting to get out of control with wild gestures as she got more and more agitated.
Yeah, she probably wasn't over it. She probably never would be. But the fact that she was able to stand here without breaking down in tears had her proud of the long way she had come.
"You don't have anything to prove to anyone," her friend placated her with a calming hand on the shoulder, and the two of them made their way back to the car.
There are only a few things more soothing than walking barefoot in the sand as the waves gently caress your ankles, watching the sunset paint the sky in pink and orange hues. Earlier, the girls had checked into a seaside motel then headed out for dinner. Alla's treat, she insisted. And now they'd come down to the beach to enjoy the lovely Florida weather, which was much more forgiving at this time of year than that of Virginia. Here November meant that you could walk around in a very thin sweater in the evening without having to fear getting chilled.
After dusk, they had continued walking along the endless stretch of shore, only turning around when they reached the rocky barrier that separated the beach from the sound disconnecting this island of sorts from the peninsula. As the sky darkened, the stars twinkled above them like millions and millions of holes on a dark blue, nearly black canvas, the light contamination from the buildings on the other side of the breadth of sand barely noticeable.
This would have been the perfect closing to a stressful and taxing day. Alla was about to turn to Ivy to ask if they should head back to the motel and turn in for the night, when the brunette suddenly yelped, disappearing from her side. Alla didn't even have time to scream or call for help before darkness enveloped her too.