Chapter 1 - The Masks We Wear
Japanese Translations:
Taichou: Captain
Fukutaichou: Vice-Captain
Soūtaichou: Captain Commander/ Head Captain
Haori: White coat/uniform worn by Captains of the 13 Squads
Zanpakutō: Soul reapers sword
Gotei 13: 13 Protection Squads/ 13 Court Guard Squads
It was torture, pure and agonising.
Jūshirō Ukitake showed no sign on his face of the many churning emotions he was feeling. His heart was aching to reach out, and touch his lover. He wanted nothing more than to draw him close and kiss him, and tell him how much he loved him, but he couldn't.
Not here…
As he chanced a forward glance, Shunsui Kyouraku peeked back at him from beneath his straw hat, mirroring the same roiling emotions in his eyes. On his perfect lips, Jūshirō could see the tugging's of a small smile.
Later, my love…
To make it appear as though he wasn't lingering, Jūshirō eyes followed the line up of the Captain's meeting. Left of his lover, stood the calm and regal Captain of Squad Six, Byakuya Kuchiki. The pristine white folds of his haori contrasted with the floral pink kimono worn by his lover. With closed eyes, Captain Kuchiki paid close attention to the words being spoken by the Captain Commander, and Jūshirō's eyes moved on.
Captain Unohana, stood demure and gentle, with a polite smile on her face. Her eyes were another story, and as Captain Ukitake's eyes roamed, he could see a similar sense of conflict lurking there. While her body said she was calm and content, her eyes screamed of yearning and stagnation. As he eyes continued, he couldn't help but wonder, what she was searching for.
Next to Captain Unohana, stood the petite Captain of Squad Two, Fon Taichou. Her eyes were fixed on a small patch of ground in front of her feet, but Jūshirō could tell she was taking in a lot more information than she was letting on. He expected no less from the President of the Ōnmitsukidō.
Reaching the Soūtaichou, Jūshirō returned his gaze to his lover. How long had it been since they been able to be alone, free to be together unrushed and without fear of reprisal? How long had it been since Shunsui had touched him, or kissed him?
The Captain of Squad Thirteen lowered his eyes sadly, and quickly masked his expression, finding that he honestly couldn't remember.
Shunsui Kyouraku watched his lover quietly, and unguarded, thanks to his hat. He knew the well-placed mask for what it was, and knew his lover was feeling the same pain he felt on a daily basis. Shunsui truly despised that mask, but he despised more the feeling of helplessness that accompanied it.
Though same-sex couples were not unheard of in the Soul Society, they were also not widely accepted, though this was an unspoken fact. It was practically unheard of for a high-ranking member of the Gotei 13 or nobility to indulge in such a relationship. There were no official laws against it, because the issue had never truly been raised in the history of the Gotei 13. The two Captains had mutually agreed to keep their relationship under wraps for fear of any action being taken against them. Millenia later, both Captain's were still stuck in that same place of damning purgatory.
As the voice of their Commander died away and they were finally dismissed, Shunsui focussed on the room again. He saw his lover duly accept a farewell nod from the gentle Captain of Squad Four, as she walked past him. The giant frame of Squad Eleven's Captain, Zaraki Kenpachi also shuffled on his left towards the door.
Knowing he couldn't linger any longer, Shunsui followed the procession outside the room and onto the luxurious and traditional veranda that accompanied the barracks of Squad One, and his feet padding softly on the deck. The crimson pillars upheld the beautifully structured courtyard and neat hanging baskets, containing flowers of unmatchable splendour. The beautiful location could not, however, lift his feelings of despair and loneliness.
"Ukitake Taichou."
That voice, his lover's voice, the one he had memorized in all its forms, brought his progress to a crawl. He turned ever so slowly, so as not to appear perturbed. The laid back, easy steps, thumped on the polished wooden floor as Shunsui slowly approached him, falling into a calm walk beside him. Emotions bubbled beneath the surfaces of their calm facades, as they put on a necessary show for the other Captains walking before and behind them.
"I have a report to give you. I remember telling Nanao-chan to drop it off yesterday, but it was still on my desk this morning." He offered a grin, which seemed perfectly normal for the jovial Captain. "I'll drop it by your office later today, okay?"
Their eyes met. Brown clashed with grey. Jūshirō subdued his need to reach out and kiss those smiling lips and offered a polite, yet charming smile of his own.
"I will see you then, Shunsui; should I have my third seats prepare some lunch for us? It is still early in the day after all." He couldn't help it, but the words very already out before he could stop himself. He hoped the other Captains would overlook his concern for Shunsui's welfare as a lover and see it as one Captain simply being hospitable to an old friend and fellow Captain. He tried, nevertheless, not to outwardly cringe.
Shunsui's face immediately bore the hint of a frown, and as Jūshirō held his breath, Shunsui allowed a cheerful laugh to escape him and flashed another smile in his direction.
"That sounds great. If only everyone else in the Seireitei was as understanding as you, Ukitake Taichou." His words hung heavily in the air, and it seemed as though only Ukitake seemed to understand the double entendre. The other Captains might have taken it as an insult of their hospitality towards guests of their Squads, but he was really expressing his longing for them to be free of their predicament. For a split second the look on Jūshirō's face told him his message had hit home and he left it at that.
"See you then, okay?" They had all finally reached the exit of the first division's barracks and the Captains all began to disperse in different directions, Shunsui included. Ukitake could only watch as his lover slowly faded away, a patch of pink among the sea of white.
Alone, he whispered quietly to himself. "I will, my love." His white hair hid the lone tear that rolled silently down his cheek.
Byakuya Kuchiki made his way swiftly through the corridors of the Sixth Squad's barracks towards his office. Lower-ranking soul reapers busied themselves as he passed, some offering quick bows in his direction. Not that he stopped to look. His intention was to slowly contemplate the contents of the meeting he had just attended, as his duty as Captain dictated. But mostly, he just wanted to relax and have a few moments to himself.
His step faltered by a fraction as he began to pick up on raised voices coming from his office. So much for that quiet moment, was all he could think, as the voices grew steadily louder. One voice he recognized to be his fukutaichou, Abarai Renji, and the other if he wasn't mistaken, Madarame Ikkaku. But what was the Eleventh Squad's Third Seat doing in his office?
He entered his office silently, neither man noticed him. They were too distracted by the verbal sparring match they were engaged in. Renji was facing the window with his back to Byakuya and Ikkaku was leaning up against the desk facing Renji. Ikkaku continued.
"Seriously though, whatever look you were going for, you missed. I mean, don't you need a license to be that ugly?" An unexpected jolt of anger rippled through Byakuya and was reflected in his spiritual pressure, as he heard the words spill forth from the bald man's lips. Renji growled and turned back to Ikkaku, noticing his Captain at the door in the process. His eyes widened and he bowed.
"Kuchiki Taichou." Ikkaku turned and froze under the intense gaze of one of the most feared Captains of all the 13 Squads. He couldn't help but gasp. Byakuya spoke in a deadly calm voice, low but nonetheless frightening.
"You will restrain yourself from uttering such foolish and inaccurate words in these barracks. As a representative of your Division and Captain, you will show respect for higher ranking officers than yourself and act accordingly, while within these walls. Am I understood?"
He could see the shock written all over the faces of both men. Renji was still somewhat unaccustomed to being shown respect or praise from him, but at that particular moment, Byakuya wasn't worried about it. He was more concerned that Renji had just been insulted by a lower-ranking officer in his own office, in front of his Captain. It was so typical of the uncultured barbarians of Squad eleven. Madarame hastened to bow before him.
"Yes, Kuchiki Taichou." He remained this way until Byakuya had taken a seat at his desk, with Renji standing silently beside him.
"Good. Now state the nature of your visit."
Madarame faltered, but Renji intervened. He handed his Captain a folder that Ikkaku had previously given to him. Byakuya took the plastic folder from Renji gently and thanked him simply by inclining his head briefly in his direction. He flipped through it silently, scanning the first few pages.
"I see. This is last week's patrol log that I requested from Zaraki Taichou. Do you have anything to add to this report?" He closed the folder and rested in on the clean surface of his desk as Ikkaku replied.
"No, Kuchiki Taichou."
"Very well then, you are dismissed." With that, Ikkaku bowed and left the office, most likely delighted to be out of the office and away from the unyielding Captain.
Back in the office, however, Renji was still a little surprised by what had transpired. Byakuya decided on the spot that now would be the most appropriate time to deal with Renji's low opinion of himself.
"Renji. I will say this only once." The normally cold Captain adopted an expression of concern and warmth. His voice rang out gently, once again surprising his Fukutaichou. Renji turned and looked at his Captain, showing him that his full attention was directed at him and whatever he was about to say. Byakuya nodded in approval. "Do not be afraid to defend yourself, even against myself. You are a man of worth, strength, and intelligence. Pay no heed to what lesser men think of you. Instead, stand tall and be proud of yourself. What that buffoon said was inaccurate and ridiculous. You are not ugly by any means, nor should you believe that you are. You are my fukutaichou, Renji. Do you think I would allow an incompetent man to fill that role?"
Byakuya opened his eyes after his short monologue and saw a look of astonishment upon Renji's face. He knew it was rare for him to praise a subordinate, but this low self-esteem issue Renji had was becoming apparent to all those who worked with him. His bite was merely a form of defence and rising to any and all bait was below such a high-ranking officer. Byakuya believed enough was enough and that his Lieutenant should show confidence in himself and his abilities, thus silencing immature remarks about his looks and attitude. He knew Renji was smart and had a lot of potential. He only needed Renji to see it for himself.
Renji face betrayed everything he was thinking, and clearly couldn't believe that he had been not only praised but defended as well, all at once. Something on his face changed, and told Byakuya that Renji agreed with him; he wouldn't be standing there if the Captain of Squad Six thought he couldn't do his job.
"No, I do not Kuchiki Taichou. Thank you." He bowed slightly in Byakuya's direction.
He continued to wear a warm expression, showing patience and calming the rage Renji had no doubt felt from Ikkaku's words. "Renji, you can call me by my name when we are alone, you know."
Another bow masked his expression of confusion, as Byakuya settled back to work. Silence resounded in the room as Renji stood quietly and Byakuya read through the report.
Zaraki and his men had been on evening patrol duty all of last week and patrol duties rotated throughout the Squads. Squad Six was due to take over tonight for the rest of the week. At the end of that time, the Captain leading the patrol would make a report of each evening. This included, who was present, if hollows and menos were encountered and eradicated, or sometimes even apprehending intruders. Since these patrols took place within the Soul Society, soul burials were not a part of patrol duty.
The main function of a patrol log was to help Captains communicate strange behaviour or increasing numbers of hollows to one another since Captains were spread out very widely. There was one Captain for every eight hundred or so soul reapers. Since their duties were so demanding, talking with other Captains didn't happen very often and so report logs had been established to help one Captain prepare to take over the next patrol after another Captain. Hence the reason Byakuya had requested them.
The report itself had been written by Yuumichika Ayasegawa, who often ended up in charge of the paperwork for Squad Eleven. Byakuya always found his work to be impeccable. There had been no strange activity over the last week, which translated as being extremely boring for the members of Squad Eleven. Hollow numbers had been consistent with recent weeks and there had been no intruders. Based on that information, their patrol would most likely follow the same monotonous path. Peace and order were just fine with the Captain of the Sixth Division.
He closed the plastic folder quietly and swept a speck of imaginary dusk off his already immaculate desk. He caught Renji's eye.
"Anything interesting, Byakuya?" The name rolled lightly off his tongue, surprising the man. Byakuya paused at the sound of his name being spoken in those rough, deep tones. A ripple of something ran through him, though he didn't let it show.
"Not particularly. It seems to have been quiet recently." His grey eyes never left his fukutaichou's.
Renji grinned. "Maybe that was why Ikkaku was so uptight; if there's no one to fight, Squad Eleven get bored very easily." He adopted a thoughtful expression. "They sort of remind me of little kids sometimes."
Laughter actually threatened to spill from the noble man's lips, though he managed to keep it in and allow an amused smile to grace his subtle lips instead. It was such an accurate description of Squad Eleven.
Byakuya's smile faded and he gracefully got to his feet. He glanced at Renji, who was still wearing his trademark grin. His deep, smooth voice permeated the room. He seemed to have returned to 'work mode', yet his gentle expression remained. "I do not think it is necessary for you to put a team together for our patrol tonight, Renji. Since it had been so quiet, I think it is safe to presume that we could easily handle it for tonight. Your orders are simply to take the rest of the afternoon off and get some rest before the patrol begins tonight, Renji. In the meantime, I would like to take a walk and visit Rukia. I will meet you here at seven this evening, okay, Renji?"
Renji nodded and Byakuya inclined his head in farewell. He gracefully departed, feeling the red-haired man's eyes follow him as he did so. Hearing a flurry of activity from his desk, he turned his head when he sensed himself being followed. He paused and allowed his Fukutaichou to approach him. Renji recovered quickly from his efforts and offered the files to his Captain.
Byakuya's eyes roamed over their covers questioningly, as Renji spoke up. "These are the last of the forms associated with the group of low-ranking soul reapers that were transferred to Squad Thirteen, Taichou. I figured it would save you time if you were going to Squad thirteen's barracks anyway." Renji couldn't place the expression on his Captain's face.
"Indeed. Thank you, Abarai." His eyes betrayed his usual dismissive manner, to convey his gratitude to his Fukutaichou now that they had left the office. He once again turned away from Renji and resumed walking unhurriedly down the corridor. As his feet took him further and further away from the red-head, he found that he could not shake the unfamiliar feeling in his chest.
Author Notes:
I recently decided to upload everything to Ao3, and in the process, I decided to go over all the suggested revisions from reviewers. Things like the correct Captain line up, head-hopping back to the correct POV per scene. I have looked at every chapter, but I know things are still not perfect. I did my best, and hope this reads easier, with better flow, clarity and quality.
Revisions have been made to content in places, but generally small changes only for things like sentence structure, and nothing plot related.
I thank you again for all your support and advice.