I try to hold my tears as I let go of my sister's hand and the oldest Mellark brother helps me get into the horse cart.
"Thank you," I say, not looking at him. My voice catches as my eyes throw a last look at a sobbing Prim. At Mr. Mellark's sign the cart departs and I force myself to memorize my sister's beautiful face and petite figure.
This cart is supposed to take us to the train station. Our small country of Panem, located in the heart of Europe, must have less than a million of people, and the city of Twelve is the least populated of them all. People always say that Twelve has two sides: the right side, the Town, where merchant families live in relative comfort, and the wrong side, the Seam, where the poorest are lucky if they can survive through the winter.
I happen to be from the wrong side. My small suitcase has nothing more than five worn outfits, some of them having been my mother's before she got married. My mother, herself, only has these garments because she was born in the merchant side. My luggage contains also a few belongings that I want to take with me to my new life in America, as well as my address book, in case I can't find my fiancé for some reason.
I'm engaged to be married to Gale Hawthorne. Two years older than me, he used to be a hunter, like myself, as well as a coal miner. He had to work very hard because he had his mother and siblings to feed. His father died in the same coal mining explosion that killed mine and it left both of our families destitute. Gale and I had no option but to become the main providers, and it brought us close.
Gale was my best friend when he lived next door to me in Panem but, two years ago, all the Hawthornes left to the United States.
"I'm going to America to get rich, Katniss," Gale promised, "And then I'll marry you."
I said nothing to prevent him from following his foolish dreams. I had heard enough about the opportunities of America, but I didn't believe Gale could become as rich as he ended up becoming. I was so wrong to think of him as a fool. Gale - with his experience in hunting and coal mining and ruthlessness of people - had nothing to fear and nothing to lose, and he quickly found not only what he desired, but much more than that. The Hawthornes have become a very respected family all of a sudden and, though I believed Gale would forget about me as a consequence of it, he didn't.
My sister Primrose and my mother have to stay behind for a while, since the invitation to join the Hawthornes in America doesn't extend to them, but I plan to send them money and convince my husband to take them there as well as soon as possible. At least I know he will never let them be hungry again, and that is the main reason I am going forward with this marriage.
After our engagement's announcement made our betrothal public, Gale started to look for people to escort me to America. The Mellarks, a family from town, are on their way to New York too, so they have agreed to accompany me. There are five of them, a couple in their forties and their three sons. The couple tries to chat with me during the small journey to the train station, but I divert them politely. I pleaded with Gale not to make me travel with them, but he ignored my request.
That is something I don't like about Gale: he's too stubborn.
As soon as we arrive at the train station, a slightly built young woman runs in my direction.
"Good morning. Is there a chance you're Miss Katniss Everdeen?" she asks.
"Yes, I'm Katniss Everdeen."
"Oh, thank God," she pants, putting her hand on her chest, "I've been asking everyone around if they knew you. I'm Johanna Mason, by the way. I'm going with you to New York."
Miss Johanna Mason is our last addition. We have never seen each other before. She's a teacher from Seven city who replied to the announcement Gale placed on our newspaper, looking for a governess for Posy, my future sister-in-law. Gale and his mother, Hazelle, want to raise her like a good girl of Panem. As for Johanna, I guess she's just taking the chance to move to a better place.
"We'll share a room on the ship, did you know that?" Miss Johanna Mason says with a grin.
"Yes," I say, "I know."
It's probably for the best; I have been concerned about ending up sharing a room with Mrs. Mellark, so anything else is very good in comparison. Of course I know nothing about how the room assignments are processed on ships.
"I don't understand why Mr. Gale Hawthorne didn't buy you a first class ticket," says Mrs. Mellark, "He is so rich."
Her husband and sons all look at her and blush. Good, I think, at least they have the decency to look embarrassed. It sways my opinion in their favor at least a little bit.
"I believe that's because he wanted me to travel with other people for my safety," I reply politely, "And you were all travelling in second class."
Mrs. Mellark purses her lips before she fakes a smile.
We sit on the train that will take us to Cherbourg. "We're going to board the Titanic on her maiden voyage," the Mellarks brag to anyone who is unlucky enough to get close to them. The family is travelling by the window and, although they – all of them – are trying to be nice to me, I don't want to be too close to them.
"Katniss, my dear," Mrs. Mellark says after a while, "Are you hungry? We brought so much food with us."
I almost can't control a snort, but I do just in time. She has been playing this stupid game in which she pretends to like me, while not long before I had to wait for her to go out before I could approach the bakery's back door and trade my game with her husband. Once, when I was eleven, I had almost starved to death behind her house. Instead of helping me, she had threatened to call the police because I was searching for the leftovers in her trash bin.
"No, Mrs. Mellark. I'm fine," I say with my stomach rumbling. I don't care that I am hungry; I would never accept anything from that woman. She can already smell Gale's money from a distance and I don't want to owe her a single penny.
I think I see Mr. Mellark throw me a sympathetic smile of encouragement.
The Mellark's oldest sons try to make conversation with me, seeming genuinely interested in knowing more about the girl who is going to marry Gale Hawthorne. After a while, I pretend to read a book. I'm furious at Gale for making me travel with these people. The only one I don't mind is Miss Mason, and that's because we don't know each other.
I give a side look to the remnants of the youngest Mellark's leg, which hang awkwardly on his seat. I had never seen it so close, if at all. He used to be so talkative when I saw him with his friends at school before the accident, but he has said nothing since we departed from Twelve. Suddenly I see his eyes bearing into mine and catching me stare at his leg. He looks down and blushes heavily.
I blush too. I've just been caught looking at a person's deformities. I'm ashamed of myself.
Miss Johanna Mason, sitting close to me, whispers in my ear.
"Your behavior is concerning for an engaged woman. Do girls in Twelve city spend their time exchanging glances with men they're not going to marry?"
I look at her dead in the eye.
"Miss Mason, I'm not glancing at anyone and no one is certainly glancing at me."
"Keep telling yourself that, but Baby Mellark is looking at you right now."
"What?" I ask, "Who is that?"
She points her chin to the Mellarks. "The boy with the crutch," she says, "It's obvious he's the youngest."
I look at him to see if it's true. He's looking through the window, not at me. Johanna Mason is being absurd.
"Peeta Mellark is not a baby," I snap, furious at the veiled accusation against my honor, "He is twenty years old."
"Oh, I see," Johanna smirks, "Not a baby, indeed. Too bad the poor guy was born defective, isn't it? He could have been an eligible suitor for a good american lady."
Peeta Mellark lost most of his left leg years ago, when he went to the train station to gather flour and a wagon ran over him. At least he is alive. He may have been rendered defenseless but, between all the Mellarks, his presence is the one that disturbs me the most.
"He wasn't born with the disability," I say, annoyed, "He was run over by a goods wagon when he was only sixteen."
Miss Mason gives a loud laugh that lasts for a long time. She even holds her stomach in pain from all the laughter and tears fall from her eyes. I scowl at her. The Mellarks stare at us until she regains her composure. Only by luck they didn't hear the conversation. I don't find it amusing in the least. I decide I definitely don't like Johanna Mason. I'm going to marry her employer and yet she's already defying me like this.
"I see you pay no attention to him at all," she chuckles, "My mistake, Miss Everdeen."