Presumptions

Chapter 1 - An Ending

She lay in bed with her boyfriend of nearly 11 months. They were having sex that night, after seven weeks apart. Despite Josh have returned from a mission three weeks ago, they had not had a session together that whole time. Two weeks because Josh's return from a 30 day DWB mission had him busy settling back into his day job and his schedule was too busy to even allow time for Kate. Then last week Kate had been in Los Angeles solving the case of Mike Royce's murder. That is how the last three weeks had gone for them.

When they had started out, Josh was not doing his DWB missions. He had paused them for a while and they had more time together. Then the missions started up again and as their new relationship progressed, they had little time together with DWB missions and work schedule conflicts disrupting their free time. What had started out as a fire, was down to burning embers. Seems the relationship was on the wane.

As Josh attempted to bring her to climax, her mind and body were not into it. Physically her body may have been responding to Josh but her mind was elsewhere. Even their carnal intimacies of late had become routine and lackluster. Kate thoughts however were about that past week in L.A. She had almost slept with Castle during their L.A. stay, but she was still with Josh and it had not happened. Kate did not let it happen, regardless of how much she had been thinking about Castle during Josh's absence.

Now being here with Josh, she was totally out of it. Unlike in the past when she welcomed him back into her bed. She knows that she needs to breakup with her surgeon boyfriend. Their union was lacking and was no longer enough for Kate. This relationship was not fair to him or to her. They needed to find that one who lived up to their expectations. Put simply, Josh was not it for Kate. Josh had been but a substitute for the one she really wanted...Rick Castle.

The L.A. trip had rekindled in her those strong longings she had for Castle. She had hid those feelings for Castle as he was still with Gina, and she was in a relationship with Josh. Weeks before the trip, however, she learned that Rick had broken up with Gina. Rick had told her himself, letting it slip out one day during their case involving the death of the Magician, Zalman Drake. So Castle was now single and available and she was not.

As Josh continues trying to satisfy her, doing his best to make her climax, Kate recalls the trip to Los Angeles...

Royce had been murdered in NYC but had arrived from L.A. and then was killed. They could find leads to that murder in L.A. except Montgomery threw her off the case. She was too close to their victim Montgomery had said, so she could not be effective in solving the homicide. So Kate took leave to go to L.A. and look for clues, despite Montgomery's warning to her not to do so.

When Kate got on her plane, she was told she was upgraded to Business Class. Kate was surprised, who would do that for her? Kate had a good idea, but it was not confirmed until she took her sit in Business Class. There next to her assigned seat was Castle.

"Rick, what are you doing here? I told you that you can not come with me to Los Angeles. I am not a cop there and I can not protect you."

"Why Detective Beckett, whatever are you talking about? We are on our way to consult with the movie studio filming the Nikki Heat movie . Yours truly, as script writer and principal consultant, and you as character consultant on the main character Nikki Head, who is after all , modeled on you. You are getting a week's pay for this, which by the way, is equal to about a month of your NYPD pay. We are also being put up in a five star luxury two bed room suite and with a rental car, all on the studio's dime. I figure if Montgomery gets wind of this trip your cover is that you went to L.A. on a business trip with me. It is a great cover, don't you think Beckett.? Roy may not believe it, but the studio can vouch for us. What say you Detective?"

"Hmmm...good plan...Attendant, how about some champagne for my partner and me", Beckett says holding out her empty stem ware glass. The Attendant comes and fills both their glasses.

So they had worked on both the case and the consulting gig with the studio. Then towards the end of the trip, as they sat in the living room of their Suite, they were having a heart to heart talk.

"You know what I thought when I first met you?", Castle had asked her.

"Hmm?..what Castle?", she replies now realizing his talk had turned serious.

Rick responds cautiously to her not wanting to appear as predatory, causing her to run away, "That you were a mystery that I was never gonna solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm …. I'm still amazed ...at the depth of your strength, your heart …. and your hotness."

She smiles, surprised by this reveal, 'You're not so bad yourself, Castle', but now her desire for Castle was starting to come out in full.

They'd just shared a moment, but neither one wanted to make a move to define it. After a while of just being there, thinking about what was happening, Kate breaks their moment. Her thoughts had drifted back to Josh and that she was still with him. She did not cheat on a steady boyfriend, She was not like that.

"I should go. It's late. Good night Castle". She stands and heads to her room.

"Kate", Castle calls out as she's at the door to her bedroom.

"Sleep tight Rick. See you in the morning", she says recalling once again she is still with Josh.

She enters her room and shuts the door, but instead of going to bed she leans up against the bedroom door. With a pause she tries to work through what just happened. Rick is still sitting on the couch, his eyes transfixed on the door that she just shut. Inside, Kate is thinking, trying to decide if she should let it go or if she should go back out to him. She wants to go back out, but she's afraid of what will happen if she does. She is conflicted and now in a doubtful relationship with Josh, as she realizes that it is ending for Josh and her. She remains faithful to Josh, as is her nature. She never cheats on a boyfriend.

Castle stands up, after Kate enters her room. His eyes still on the door of her bedroom. He wants to see it opened by Beckett, coming back to him. Then Rick realizes that Kate has a boyfriend. He knows her well enough and is aware that she is the kind of woman who would never betray a trust, particularly one given to a boyfriend. That is but one reason he had fallen in love with her. Rick knows Kate would not cheat unlike his ex wife Meredith. Rick will not be the cause of Kate being unfaithful. So he banishes the thought of Kate coming back to him after their moment. Rick goes to his room.

On the other side, Beckett moves towards the door handle. Her hand pauses but after a brief moment, she just does it. She pushes the door handle down and the door opens. She went back, but she's too late. The room is empty and Rick's bedroom door is shutting. It had been a moment of weakness for her and she almost betrayed Josh. Temptation thy name be Rick!

Then on the trip back after they had helped the LAPD solve Royce's murder, they're in Business Class once again. Castle sleeps in the chair next to her as she reads Mike Royce's letter a second time. The note that had been found on his body and had been addressed to her. She hears Mike's voice in her mind, reciting to her what he wrote ..." And now for the hard part, kid. It's clear that you and Castle have something real. But you're fighting it, so trust me on this, putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder, if only."

Kate comes out of her thoughts. Josh is trying hard to please her and she feels Josh getting close. As Josh goes over the top, she is still not responding to him. When had sleeping with her boyfriend of almost a year become such a task? Kate senses that Josh sees she is not into their session, so she fakes it, just to get it over. She does not want to hurt Josh's ego by her turning cold on him. Kate still has some affection for him, but it is not enough.

She realizes they have not been enough for a while. They are at an end and she is feeling guilty for staying with him longer than she should have. Kate had wanted to let Josh down easy thus she stayed longer trying to find a good moment to end it. Had she been using Josh as a filler for Castle, the man she really wants? Was her anxiety about them, all about her wanting Castle?

Josh senses Kate was not into their session, like in past times together. Those times were always the best for him. "Did you enjoy it Kate, you seemed somewhere else? I mean we have not been intimate in the last month and a half since I've been away on mission. I expected a much more passionate 'welcome back' night. What's up, Kate?"

"Josh, did you know where I was last week?"

It seemed an odd question for Josh, "Yeah, you were working a case, or at least that's what your one partner, the Latino guy, said when I called the precinct."

"Esposito, Josh! That's his name. You still do not know his name, or my other partner's name, Ryan, the Irish man as you call him. But you remember Castle because you are so jealous of him. I have told you that Castle and I are just partners", she tells Josh, "So did Espo tell you where I was working the case."

"I just presumed it was here in the city. That's a good presumption, is it not?"

Presumptions? Instead of communication. Their union was based on presumptions. Maybe it was due to their having been in past relationships and they had developed an all too familiar routine. They just presumed things instead of talking. Not unlike her partnership and now friendship with Castle. Innuendos and teasing with Rick, but never really talking to each other about what they wanted beyond their work. They were left to presume things about each other. Kate could never fully let any boyfriend in, she kept them at a distance. Rick was the only one so far to get around her emotional shield, the one that kept her safe from harm. Castle had learn more about her than any past boyfriend. So why was she not with Rick, who knew her better than anyone except perhaps Lanie and her father?"

Answering Josh, Kate tells him, "I went to L.A. Josh, looking for clues to a murder that started there but had happen here in our city. Our victim had come in from L.A. for just a day, and then was murdered. We needed to find out what happened in L.A. to cause his death here."

"You were out of town and didn't tell me! I'm your boyfriend Kate, shouldn't I have known about that? Why is it you continually shut me out and not confide with me. I should have been told of this trip."

"You were so busy and I could not get hold of you but I left you voice mail, or did you not listen to it?"

"What, I didn't listen...wait...", a thought comes to Josh, "you were with Castle, weren't you?"

Kate remains silent, no need to get Josh any more jealous than he is now. When Kate remains silent for what seems a long time, Josh speaks out.

"Right!... your non response tells me all I need to know. You slept with him in Los Angeles! That is why you are so out of it tonight! You want to break up with me so you can go to play house with that predator author who you call a partner and is known to bed his female fans."

"How can you say that, Josh? We've been together almost a year and you still don't trust me. We have had this argument before and now you question my fidelity? I do not sleep around on my boyfriend", but she leaves out the part that she almost did so in L.A. Had she not already been cheating on Josh psychologically? Having sex with Josh while she thought about Rick, not just once, but ore frequently now, was that not an emotional betrayal?

"Right, or so you say. I can't do this anymore Kate. I have asked you to get rid of Castle as a partner. Hell, he is not even a cop. He is just following you around to get in your pants. And now he has done just that. You let him do that! That's why you've been keeping him around. He was rejecting you, so you kept him close, hoping and waiting for a chance he might see you in a different way. So you've got your wish. But now we're finished Kate, I won't do this any longer. I am just here to fill a void. You used me Kate. So don't come crawling back to me once Castle is done with you and looks for the next flavor of the month. I'm off to Columbia, on a mission I had turned down to be with you, but now I will do the full six month tour. Bye Kate, it was fun while it lasted."

With that Josh grabs his clothes and does not even get fully dressed quickly before he storms out of Kate's apartment. Josh slams the door to her apartment as he leaves. He had said some awful things to her, hurtful things, some of which had hit a responsive chord in her. Kate can not completely blame Josh for the breakup, she had kept up the farce of being with Josh for too long.

The truth be told, after about the third sleep-over, it started going down hill. Sex with Josh had become a guilty pleasure for her that had morphed into a sinful pleasure once she realized she was using him. Still, she did have feelings for Josh, just not enough to make her forget about Castle. So Kate had hung on trying to make it work, until she could not. Rick Castle had been on her mind weeks before the L.A. trip and that trip had only increased her longing for him. Rick Castle owned her heart and now she needed to do something about it, particularly now that she is again single.

The Next Morning At The 12th

Kate is still reeling from her breakup with Josh, or rather, his breakup with her. Technically, he had called it quits before she did. She knew that it would have eventually happened, but she had tried to let Josh down easy. She owed Josh that much for keeping him on hold. However, his jealousy for Castle had caused him to accuse her of being unfaithful and that hurt. She had waited too long to breakup with Josh and it had ended badly for them.

She would have slept with Castle that night in L.A. had she still not been with Josh. She had remained faithful to Josh, but was it out of affection for him, or guilt? Josh refused to believe her when she told him she had not slept with Castle on that L.A. trip. Kate kept going over in her mind how she could have ended it better and left them friends despite the breakup. She did care for Josh in her own way, but it was not enough, he was not enough. She had found Josh wanting in what she needed.

Still, Josh had finally shown his true colors. So in the end, the breakup was for the best. Josh was not who she wanted, not who she needed. Even Demming was not what she wanted. It is Castle she has been longing for since even before Josh or Demming. If she were honest with herself, Kate had longings Rick since that summer Castle left her for Gina. Demmng and Josh had been place holders for Castle.

How had she not seen that before it all came crashing down? Two failed relationship and she still was not over these feeling for Castle. Her detective skills had her and resulted in two failed relationships. Kate was to the point now where her true feelings for Castle were coming out. She could no longer keep those feelings buried. The heart wants what the heart wants.

When Rick walked in with his usual coffee and pastry, upon seeing Kate with a worried look, he instantly sensed that something was up with her. He saw the dark cloud circling around Kate and knew things were off. After almost four years as her partner, Rick could read Kate's moods. Her whole demeanor spoke to her being in turmoil. Rick was now determined to find out what was going on with Kate.

He puts his morning offerings on her desk, and then says, "Good morning Beckett, you seem down this morning."

"Castle, really! You just got here and can tell by merely looking at me what my mood is now?"

"It's my ninja ways Kate! Trust me, I have known you for almost four years and can tell when you're in a funk!"

"Okay..you're right Castle, I...I kinda... .brokeupwithJoshlastnight! " she says so quickly as almost not to make sense, continuing her reveal, she says, with a little hesitation, "...I had not wanted that to...", she goes silent after her declaration as if she is listening to her own words repeat back to her again in her mind.

"What! ...", Castle is stunned by her disclosure. This was unBeckett like, she always kept hidden those things about Josh.

Knowing now what had Kate so out of it, Rick asks, " You want to talk about it? I hope it was not about me that caused the breakup. I know Josh does not like me, I've known he wanted me gone as your partner. Despite, I have respected what the two of you have. I have kept my distance. I have not tried to interfere with the both of you."

"Castle, you can't stop what Josh was feeling or of how insecure Josh was with you as my partner. That is not your fault. Let's not talk about it right now, and certainly not here."

"Oo...kayyyy. Tell you what detective, how about a 'cheer up' dinner? Any place you want, five star, burger joint, pizza, you just say what, and it will be my treat!"

"Don't you have to get home to your daughter and mother later?"

"Well Alexis has a study sleep over with Paige, and Martha, well Martha will be out, although she gave no details. I suspect she will be doing the walk of shame tomorrow as I head out to the 12th."

Kate has to laugh how Rick manages to find humor in Martha's many escapades of coming home from a "busy" night. Rick always found a way to make her laugh, no matter her mood. That is one reason Kate had come to have affections for him. No one could make her laugh like Rick.

"Well, in that case, Writer Man, I accept your offer of fine dining, but that diner where we shared a mac n cheese with biscuits, before we saw that movie at the Anglique, that will do just fine!"

"You're letting me off easy here Beckett, I suspected you may have wanted to try one of those five star restaurant that takes months in advance to get a reservation."

"I'm not being soft on you here, I just thought I was not dressed for going out to a fancy restaurant in my work clothes, on a work night, no less".

"Ever the practical woman. I am falling in love with you already, so, as you are no longer spoken for detective, I am now allowed to do just that, fall for you, that is, so be warned."

Rick's reveal causes her heart to jump. Kate can't help but smile at Rick's comment cheering her up by now declaring his intentions for her. But she knows clearly that Rick is telling her that he wants to get serious with her since there is no longer a Josh. But he did so with humor, and that is just the way Rick is. He did not want to call attention to her breakup with Josh, so he had used humor to deflect. Rick had her laughing about it, even as she had been deeply wounded by Josh's accusations about her and how badly it had ended for them.

She thinks to herself, "Oh if you only knew Rick! I do have feelings for you, and you just might make it to home base tonight after our dinner'"

Rick was pleased with this news, although sadden that Kate would be hurting for a while by her breakup with Josh. He was determined to make that pain go away. Still, he was happy that he worked into his talk with her that he fully intended to pursue her, now that she is single and available once more. There was no Josh or Gina now in their way. The path was cleared for both to date without complications. This truly was good news for Rick and he would get details tonight of what had happened to cause the breakup. But Rick need to proceed cautiously, he did not want to be the rebound. He wanted her completely with no excess baggage from her breakup