The last hour had been pure chaos.
Blood spilled over the stone ground of the monastery, screams of "Arin, stay awake" and "First Spinjitzu Master" echoed through the walls and after all of the panic and terror, it was just still.
The emergency waiting room was crowded with Sora, Kai and Nya and in the middle of it was Lloyd, pacing up and down the same stretch of tile floor with bright splotches of blood covering his sleeves, sure to cause staining.
"I'm gonna go call Wyldfire, make sure that she's cleaning things up." Sora's voice was a shell of itself, obviously using the excuse to go to the phone to keep herself busy, which made Lloyd's stomach twist.
One of his pupils was locked behind the off-white doors of the emergency entrance, surrounded by strangers and his other pupil was unable to let herself panic; all he could do was keep pacing, trying to let his nervous energy out before it manifested into destruction.
It had been months since he even attempted to call on the Oni that dwelled deep inside of him, but now it seemed like any slight movement out of line would bring the monster rushing back; he knew that he wouldn't be blamed for it by his friends if it did happen, but with all the innocent people surrounding him, he knew he had to get himself to relax at least a little bit.
'The sooner, the better.'
"Lloyd?" He looked up to see Kai's face etched with concern as he gently rested his hand on his shoulder, "you're going to put a hole in the floor. Sit down."
"I can't, I gotta get it out."
"Hey, I know you're antsy. Believe me, you've put me the wringer just like this, a lot," Kai explained and Lloyd could see the flashes of the pediatric ward and Kai's anxious face as he hovered over him, "but you freaking out isn't going to help Arin, so you need to take a deep breath. Okay?
Lloyd was forced to stop pacing by the hold on his shoulder and do as he was told; wiping the few tears that began to fall down his face as he finally admitted what he had been feeling since the day he rescued Arin and Sora.
"I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."
He was pulled into a tight hug before he had even fully processed what he had said with one hand still on his shoulder and the other one on the back of his head. And with that gentle, careful movement, everything finally spilled over.
"Master Wu was counting on me to be better and I have no idea if I'm good at this or not. I just constantly feel like I'm screwing up."
"I wish I had been here, Lloyd," Kai admitted, forcing Lloyd to pull his head from his shoulder, "I've been here too, and I could've helped."
"No, don't blame yourself. You were finding Nya, it's not your fault." Lloyd insisted as he was finally let out of the hug but Kai's warm hand still rested on his shoulder.
"You don't blame yourself either. What happened to Arin today wasn't on you."
Lloyd's breath shook as he nodded and sat down next to Kai in the chair, only getting back up to hug Sora when she returned from the phone.
"I'm fine," she insisted after the hug lasted for a few moments, "are you?"
Lloyd let go of her long enough to look back at Kai for a moment to recall all of the times that he had been in his current position before looking back at Sora and nodding.
"I will be."