Exiting from the tear, the sensation of the Hive Mind re-establishing connection was a surreal one. Like going from a nearly quiet apartment to an auditorium filled with people.

I smiled. For such a short trip, it was nice to be back.

Menma stumbled, finding herself in Root headquarters, her red eyes gazing around the room warily.

Trying to hide your discomfort will only make it more obvious to those under my oaths and contracts, Menma. My voice echoed in her head as she stiffened.

How are you doing that? Kurama should be eagerly devouring anyone trying to mess with my mind? Menma's thoughts echoed back to me as I smiled, looking relaxed. It was good to be home.

I am a special case, even in your world. You could even say I'm rather unique. You'll find out soon enough. As it is, the cover story for your existence is simple: I was dabbling with Space-Time Jutsu and successfully was able to bring someone from another reality. I'm here to observe you to ensure your body/soul/mind/being doesn't start collapsing by the universe trying to assert itself over you.

Menma's face paled. It's not actually going to do that, will it?

I snorted. No. My powers are far greater than a single universe would be able to so easily negate. You'll be fine, but you'll find many people are quite different from your original reality, and many enemies may be allies to you here. Give everyone a chance unless they seem open or subtly hostile. Remember, this is a clean slate. This isn't your Konoha.

Menma slowly nodded, her red eyes narrowed as she bit her lip nervously. I'll try.

I nodded, humming to myself as I easily traversed the maze of Root back to the surface of Konoha. That's all I ask. Oh, and you'll find Naruko isn't identical to you in this world.

Oh thank Kami. The whole twinning thing is hot in bed, but it'd be annoying as hell if you kept mistaking me for Naruko and vice versa all the time, you know?

I smirked. Someone has her mother's verbal tic. Better than 'believe it' or 'dattebayo', at any rate.

So, how's Naruko in bed? Has she used the Shadow Harem Jutsu? Menma asked curiously in our connection.

I laughed. No. We've yet to sleep together. The Third Hokage had Naruko promise him that she wouldn't sleep with anyone until she was a Chunin.

To help ease her transfer into this new world, I dove through Social Club and gave her the memories and thoughts of Naruko as well as myself during my time here.

Oh. Wow. That's a lot to take in. Yeah, this Konoha is very different from the one I came from. Still shitty, but for some reason Naruko stuck around when I... didn't.

Menma's voice was much quieter at the end, as she looked ashamed.

I hugged her, giving her a kiss on her forehead as she turned red, her red eyes widening as she gaped at me.

Naruko and you are different people, and I would've never blamed Naruko or you from leaving Konoha, or turning it into a crater. I certainly wouldn't have judged either of you because your lives have been hell. I'm just thankful that I was able to save Naruko from her eventual fate of burying her true self just because she wanted desperately to be accepted, and to save you from your eventual fate of resigning yourself to doing the same.

While at the end of Road to Ninja, Menma had regained Naruko's blonde locks, it didn't mean she'd have been absolved of her crimes, and it wouldn't stop Konoha from browbeating her to death over her 'guilt' of fleeing a village that had never treated her kindly in the first place. Menma and Naruko would end up as mirrors of where they ended up, with Menma likely becoming another ninja to be thrown in Konoha's selfish interests just because they could take advantage of her guilt for having deserted when they never deserved her in the first place, and Naruko becoming Hokage of a village that would likely never really appreciate her in the end anyway.

Such shitty ways to live. Not on my watch!

Menma's red face was steaming as she eventually kissed me on the lips, a chaste kiss that she quickly broke off. "Sorry." She mumbled.

I don't know what I'm doing. I've never kissed anyone before. I feel so stupid and out of my depths. I can fight Kages, but I can't kiss a boy without feeling weird about it! Gah!

I smiled, lifting her chin so she looked at me as I gave her chaste kiss back, a brief peck on the lips as I winked at her. We go at your pace, Menma. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy. I have all the time in the multiverse.

I released her chin as she nodded, not even looking at me as I turned to finally lead her to the surface, as we had stopped midway during Menma's slight panic and shame.

Kami, I can see why sis loves him. I fucking love him, and I just met the damn bastard. Stupid, sexy, Shikamaru Nara.

I had to swallow a laugh at the fact that Menma had inadvertently copied Naruko from way earlier.

Exiting the nondescript alley, we ended up at the edges of the village, with Menma blinking as her red eyes adjusted quickly to the afternoon sun, a brief smile on her lips as the other villagers in the area seemed to not gaze at her in silent disgust or hatred like her old home.

They seemed to pale slightly at her red eyes, but they didn't look ready to throw shit at her either! Progress!

"So, I know you think udon is better than ramen. And Naruko thinks ramen is better than udon."

Menma looked horrified, her red eyes widening in betrayal as she immediately looked ready to argue on the greatness of udon, but I cut her off.

"I bet that my food can test better than your udon." I finished with a challenging grin.

Menma's eyes narrowed. "Blasphemy." She spat. "What's the bet?" She rose to the challenge, raising an eyebrow at me.

My grin widened. "If my food is better than udon, you need to register as a mercenary shinobi for hire under me directly, Shikamaru Nara, as an unlimited permanent position with the payroll at my discretion." My grin widened as Menma's face flushed red.

See, Missing Shinobi from other villages could be killed and turned in for their bounties, but sometimes, a village can turn a missing ninja into a Mercenary Ninja, a ninja for hire. It usually depends on if the village is willing to deal with the political backlash of the other country taking offense, among other factors, but it would usually be offered to a missing ninja willing to help a shinobi on a mission in the area in exchange for safety and more permanent lodging. It's what Orochimaru had likely done to jump start the creation of his Sound village.

By saying that Menma was going to be a mercenary ninja under me, was another way of saying I was claiming her as mine, that not even Konoha would be able to hire her or turn her into a Konoha ninja, since she was under my payroll, and under my jurisdiction.

It wasn't the first time that Konoha shinobi had done this, nor would it be the last. After all, it was a sort of middle ground on how Clans eased their way into trusting the village, by sending a couple of their own to be mercenary ninja for specific trustworthy Konoha ninja to be vetted on if they'd actually follow their word on caring for the village and not selfishly trying to put one Clan above the rest.

To put it in another way, Mito Uzumaki was a Mercenary Ninja from the Uzumaki Clan to Hashirama Senju on a mission to strengthen Konoha borders as well as vet Konoha itself to ensure there wasn't any fuckery going on. Well, Clan Fuckery: Mito and Hashirama became lovers during that mission, and the rest was history. Literally.

"And if I say my udon is better than your food? What do I get?" Menma said quietly, her face still flushed red.

I leaned in, whispering into her ear as her face turned an even deeper red. "If you can honestly say your udon is better, you can have 72 hours where you can tell me to do whatever you want."

Menma's eyes glazed over as she breathed. "Deal."

I leaned back, chuckling.

Ooh, dirty Uzumaki, I noted as I read her thoughts as she stood there, drooling slightly, but I prefer being the one using the chains and whips, not the other way around. Think you can handle a bit of pain with your pleasure?

Menma whimpered as she clenched her legs together, her deeply red face still betraying her as she scowled at me, her eyes narrowed.

Stop reading my mind, it's private!

I raised an eyebrow. Hypnosis fetish too huh? Someone really just wants to let her hair down and let someone else take control, I can dig it. I laughed slightly as Menma looked away from me.

"Shut up, and make your food already, stupid, sexy, too-smart bastard." She grumbled silently as she refused to look me in the eye as she walked ahead.

"Menma, wrong way. My house is that way." I pointed in the opposite direction from where she'd been walking.

She turned around and ignored my chuckles as she walked past me.