I'm back hopefully for good to continue the stories I promised to finish. I will try to update both stories bi-weekly or hopefully sooner. Finals are coming up quickly. This story needed a complete overhaul in terms of writing and plot , so I'm giving it that. I still have a lot to learn about writing but hopefully those who follow both my stories noticed an improvement over the 5 or so years I've been writing through high school to college now. I drew inspiration from other writers who wrote about this as a plot point a long time ago, and this has been waiting to be released. I hope you all enjoy it.
Update 2 10/02/2023: I have long felt disappointment in myself for not finishing what I started here. College is finished and I have a job now. I aim to finish both this story and my other story, working continuously until they are complete. I am going to continue with the ideas I drafted a long time ago, hopefully with some improvement in my writing. I am writing an actual fantasy novel in the background that has been in my head since before I started writing fanfiction on this website. That will be my priority. For those who read this story and Taming the Dragon, enjoy the journeys these stories will embark on!
An AU where Aang drowned at sea. The next Avatar was unrealized - captured in a Fire Nation raid at a young age, dying alone in prison. The next was too stubborn and stayed safe behind the walls of Ba Sing Se. Desperate, the spirits chose a girl who was born a prodigy. A princess trained in the art of war, burdening her with the spirit of balance. A unwilling child thrust into a war that she must end. After avoiding her responsibility as Avatar, she is forced out into the world to face her destiny and right the wrongs of her nation.
She was three when she first bent fire. Everyone around her knew she would be a prodigy. No one thought it was because she had mastered fire thousands of lifetimes in a row.
She was five when a jug of water exploded next to some servants, sending them scattering. They never saw her step from behind her hiding place to look at the mess she made. Monster. That's how they saw her - Ozai's daughter. They were lucky all she did was scare them. Her own thoughts began to take over: Disgusting - Waterbender - Avatar. She began to cry.
She was seven when the past lives started to speak to her. Traitorous whispers that she tried to ignore. According to some of the voices, this wasn't supposed to happen, however, as the old one, Roku, had said, "It was a matter of urgency." It became much harder to ignore the values of the Avatar spirit within her once she'd acknowledged her past lives.
She was nine, playing outside, when Ty Lee discovered her secret. A botched front handspring had almost ended with a broken neck. Azula's hands had blasted just enough air to propel her into a standing form. After a moment of dead silence, Azula rounded upon her friend quickly.
"Speak of this to anyone, and you will never speak again." The princess snarled threateningly. It was admittedly a dark threat for a nine-year-old girl, but self-preservation came first for Azula. It needed to in the world she lived in.
Ty Lee's face turned ashen, and her head bobbed up and down rapidly. Azula had smiled, the wicked expression hiding the trembling of her little fingers and gnawing in her tummy. The play date didn't last long after that, and Azula was not sure her friend's fear of her would keep her from tattling.
You have to trust her. The young air monk had whispered.
"Trust is for fools." Azula had snarled as she slammed her door. Yes, trust was for fools. Azula could trust no one in this serpents den. The only reason Azula allowed Ty Lee to leave was because the girl feared her. Azula did not pick Ty Lee out of all the other girls at the academy because she liked cartwheels. No, Ty Lee would not say a word to anyone about Azula's accident because Ty Lee feared her more than anything.
Is it better to be feared than loved and respected? The old voice of Roku chimed in, which she ignored, ferociously growling and clamping pillows down over her ears and sinking into her mattress. The troubling reminder that she couldn't continue to deny the spirits intruded the forefront of her mind and stayed despite her pillows.
Azula mulled over her options in her dark room for hours. The spirits of the past were also becoming more restless. Terrible visions plagued her sleep as she drifted in and out of a distressed slumber. Her lungs burned from dreaming that she drowned as Aang while trying to run from destiny. She hated the dreams, but the Avatar spirit did not want her to hide like a coward. Azula could not hide or run from her nature forever. Denial would lead to avoidance eventually. Then she knew that would lead to the death of her inner fire, turning a roaring blaze into fading embers.
Azula was not weak. She was not Zuko. Azula was better. The best. To not learn the other elements would make her a failure of an Avatar, and failure was not something she tolerated. No, she was supposed to be aggressive and perfect like the cold, blue fire she commanded. She was always moving forward with controlled purpose. Her problem needed to be acknowledged to be controlled, then she could silence the Avatars of old.
Perhaps, taking steps to acknowledge herself would appease them for now, so that her mind could rest to think more clearly later. Azula kicked the comforter off her legs and climbed from her bed.
Her hunt for control over her power lead her to the palace library.
For a month the princess scoured the shelves for information on bending other elements but came up empty. Then, she found an entrance to the palace tunnels, and her exploration led her to the catacombs, where she found old texts hidden among the skulls of ancient dragons. The withered scrolls described the innate differences between firebending and waterbending and something about water dragons. Despite the vague description, after hours of studying the one scroll, Azula understood the basics of the bending form.
After several nights of practicing the form without water, she decided to find a sufficient place in the palace to practice her heretical bending. The training rooms were exactly what she needed. While, during the day, Zuko and his tutors occupied the hall, no one used them late at night. The guards only passed by a handful of times. These circumstances made it the perfect place for nighttime bending. When the moon shone, her connection to the water would peak, especially when the moon was full.
Unfortunately, Father also had picked up on her frequent visits to the library. However, he had appeared rather pleased at his daughter's thirst for knowledge. Darkly, Azula always considered that if he knew the spirit she harbored inside her that, she would be bound and chained, everything she ever hoped and dreamed for stripped away by her own father and nation. Gon, the previous earthbender, had planted those vile thoughts n her head and they wouldn't leave.
"The Avatar," she recalled her father's expression looking akin to him tasting something rancid, "hides in the Earth Kingdom behind the walls of Ba Sing Se, and should he be apprehended, he will be chained, and kept alive just enough so that the cycle does not reset." Ozai was unaware that Gon died. Azula considered this and dared to hope.
"Won't the Avatar be born again in the firenation whenever he dies? Would that make the Avatar a fire nation citizen?" Azula schooled her face, trying to make the inquiry as light as possible. Ozai only laughed harshly.
"The Avatar's purpose is to bring 'balance'," Ozai spat, "The last fire nation Avatar, Roku, had threatened Sozin with death should he attempt to spread the greatness of the fire nation, so Sozin killed him, and then failed to wipe out the air nomads, leaving the Avatar spirit wandering the nations, keeping just enough hope alive. The Avatar must be imprisoned for us to see our glorious nation rule the world." Azula swallowed a large lump in her throat and bobbed her head. Would she have to fight father someday?
She shook her head at the memory. Roku had been enraged upon hearing that. The spirits of her past lives challenged Ozai more and more frequently in her mind, causing a great deal of conflict inside her. As if on queue, Roku chimed in. He is a menace to balance. You know this. Consider the suffering of others the rule of the fire nation would bring, you've seen it for yourself. Your duty as the Avatar is to bring balance, It is in your nature-
"Silence," She hissed, "Do not lecture me anymore, I know what he says is wrong, but that doesn't mean I can do anything."
Suddenly, someone's knuckles rapped quickly on her door, startling her.
Steadying her breathing, she called, "Come in."
One of her father's servants stumbled into the room quickly, looking rattled - perhaps it was bad news.
"Your Father wanted me to inform you that your Uncle will arrive at the palace in a week. He will meet with him in the throne room to offer him a position within court and you are expected to be present." The servant rambled off his message quickly and was dismissed with a wave of her hand.
The great Dragon of the West has returned? Azula could have cared less, really. Later that week, Azula dragged herself to throne room. Her body naturally relaxed from her place on the dais, watching the border of fire rise and fall.
Her gaze lifted to the throne room doors. The imperial firebenders held them open for a shorter man to pass, then closed them shut. Iroh strolled across the throne room as though he had not kept them waiting. He walked toward them with none of the pomp and dignity a prince of fire was born to carry. His clothes had been reduced to traveling wares, dirty and tattered from months of use. Azula wondered if this man was truly her Uncle or a mummers farce.
The Dragon of the West stopped before the flames and looked up to Ozai, then to Zuko, where his gaze lingered for several moments. His eyes flickered over to her for only a mere second of eye contact before returning to the firelord. Azula scowled.
"Welcome home, General Iroh." Azula could hear the gloating smirk plastered on her father's face, as he sat on the throne once meant for his brother, relishing the ability to look down on Azulon's firstborn.
"Much has changed in my absence, Ozai." Iroh proclaimed in an uncharacteristically flat tone. Azula rolled her eyes at the mess before her. Dark circles under his eyes, the sad frown of his lips. General Iroh had become a shell of his former self. He had transformed from Dragon of the West to a dirty, pathetic puppet dragon held up only by the achievements of his past. Though, the former General was hardly fit to be paraded through the streets in this condition. To Azula's surprise, the flames rose slightly at Iroh's casual rebuttal to his brother.
"You will address me as Firelord Ozai now." Ozai sneered, "After your failure to bring down Ba Sing Se and capture the Avatar, our father revoked your birthright and made me the heir to throne in your place."
Azula observed Iroh carefully, searching for any hint of suspicion in the old man's gaze. However, Iroh surprised her by shrugging.
"Perhaps that was for the best, brother." The flames rose even higher, but Iroh seemed unconcerned, "I never could see myself mounting the stress of ruling a nation and managing a war at the same time in my old age." The flames remained steadily above the normal height as she heard Ozai growl lowly. She wondered if father actually believed him. Azula wouldn't.
"Perhaps indeed." Ozai ground out the words, managing to keep his temper in check. "Welcome back to the palace, your quarters have been attended to and there is an open seat on the war council for all your... accomplishments in the war."
Iroh shook his head, "While I am afraid that my interests lie elsewhere, away from the war, I will accept the seat." A minutiae of suspicion wrinkled Azula's nose. Perhaps Lu Ten's death had shaken Uncle more than she thought.
"If that is all, then I have more important matters to attend to." Ozai's dismissal gave way to a quiet breath of relief from Azula. Iroh stood, bowed, and left as he came, while Zuko stood and ran around to catch up with Iroh. Azula held back an insult at her brother but gracefully followed behind, watching them with thinly veiled disdain.
"It is good to see you too, Prince Zuko." Iroh hugged the boy tightly, not batting an eye as she scoffed and stomped past them both.
That night, she found an unexpected squatter in her training rooms. Uncle Iroh practiced something very different from firebending in the moonlight. His arms extended slowly together, and he directed one back around, trailing the arm that stood still, then under his stomach and out in the opposite direction. Azula cursed under her breath, waiting for her Uncle to stop repeating the movements so she could use the room. After several repetitions, Iroh finished his bizarre workout. Azula hid in the shadows, observing as he strolled through the doors, humming a soft, melancholic tune.
She shook her head at his nonsense and crept into the room, annoyed at how much time the doddering fool had stolen from her. Time that she needed. Exercising control over the water had proven harder than she initially thought. It required a flexibility that she did not yet posses. A flexibility of the mind or the body? Karuuk asked.
"Shut up." She snapped aloud to the empty room, unrolling her scroll and beginning her katas.
The nights continued in the same pattern for months. Iroh practiced his strange technique that accomplished absolutely nothing, and Azula followed after. Eventually, an epiphany struck her. Iroh performed the moves for what must have been the hundredth night in a row, but this time Azula made a connection. His movement resembled a waterbender, directing his energy like flowing water through his body.
She shivered as her heart thudded faster. A sudden realization struck her about Iroh. He had changed after Ba Sing Se. Yes, her Uncle was always a peculiar man, but practicing a water bending technique as a firenation general was unheard of. The revelation sparked hope and curiosity in her young soul.
So, for a long year, the young avatar watched her Uncle from the shadows, discovering that perhaps she was not as alone in the palace as she once thought.
Iroh strolled about the palace quietly, humming to himself despite the anxiety that bubbled in his stomach. In his hands, he clutched a letter that had cleverly been left in the dagger sheath of his armor. The training rooms, at midnight. The letter - singular, hastily written - made him less fearful that it could be blackmail, and he was confident in his own fire bending to dispatch any threats to himself should he be ambushed. However, something nagged at the back of his mind that this encounter was something he would not expect. He took comfort in the silence of the palace for the rest of his walk.
When he stood before the training hall, he could hear only one distinct, light set of footfalls in the room.
Quietly, he opened the doors to the room and slid in, unnoticed in the darkness. The sunroof was opened, letting the cause of the noise bask in the moonlight. A small girl, her back turned to him, stood in the center of the room with a bowl filled with water. Then, she turned her head, beginning a series of movements, and Iroh's brow furrowed at the unexpected, usually haughty face - now serene in the quiet atmosphere of the training room. She almost looked like a different person without her usual air of arrogance and malice, but the girl could not be mistaken. Azula. Now, this made him reconsider everything, as to his knowledge, Azula only operated under the orders of Ozai. Perhaps his brother still harbored suspicions about him.
However, Azula's unusual movements gave pause to his thoughts.
Her arms moved gracefully, nothing like the aggressive motions of firebending. She danced around the bowl with more grace than an ember island troupe member. A bizarre idea nicked at the back of Iroh's mind, but he dismissed it as impossible. Yet, he could not tear his eyes away from his niece as she moved around the basin with her back to him.
Then, she stopped and looked back at him. Panic flashed briefly through the eyes of his ten-year-old niece before she schooled her expression.
"It's not nice to keep a lady waiting, Uncle." Her voice held no inflection of hostility, but he noticed her pace around the empty floor. Her movements were too erratic to be casual, though her schooled face clearly tried to impress that feeling onto him. Eventually, like a nervous komodo rhino, she wandered his way.
"So you were the one who left this? If you wanted to talk, Azula, you could simply have asked." His tone was warm, inviting, and curious, but Azula didn't seem to let her guard down. She looked him up and down, then looked back at the basin. After a long moment, she swallowed and addressed him.
"Would you believe me, Uncle? Zuko says I always lie. I'm sure he's told you such things." Iroh nodded, careful not to show his apprehension as the veiled threat of Ozai sending her in his steed crossed his mind.
"I have heard him say that once or twice." He conceded as the girl casually sat before him, making him do the same.
"Zuko thinks I lie only to cause trouble, but sometimes you must lie to protect yourself." That admission caught Iroh's attention. What would the daughter of Ozai need protection from?
"I can only imagine you would lie to protect something important." Azula smiled nonchalantly as their eyes met. The bright golden eyes of Azula flickered away quickly - too quickly - while Iroh's darker amber continued to warily regard his niece.
"I think you would too, Uncle. Especially with some of the things I've seen in your study." She removed an ancient, yellowed scroll and unrolled it, "You seem to have an understanding - sympathy or weakness Father would call it - for the other elements. Perhaps that sympathy extends to the other nations, but I wouldn't jump to those conclusions. Though, Father might." Iroh watched closely as the scroll revealed movements he'd seen her perform moments ago. He wondered what else she had discovered while snooping around in his study. He decided to ignore that little detail, as scolding would likely cause a retreat from her.
"Yes, I picked up many things in my travels. I studied with the water tribes for a brief time before I returned," Iroh answered warily, knowing now that she was blackmailing him.
"Hmm, you also have changed quite a bit since you've returned from Ba Sing Se." Her phrasing innocently probed him for answers, and her tone didn't seem inherently malicious. At least, no more malicious than she could be on a good day. Iroh found his attention drawn to her taught brow and nervous tremble of her lips. Her usual arrogance had suddenly vanished. Iroh found himself at a loss. Just why had she called him here? He sensed that for once, Azula did not feel in control. Her air of superiority had been blown away.
"War and loss can change a person," Iroh answered carefully, still unsure of what had his niece so tense.
"And how do you feel about the war, Uncle? You told my father that you weren't interested in the war. You haven't rejected the fire nations' conquests yet. But I've found interesting materials in your study, more than just a waterbending scroll. Things that some might call treasonous. You seem to have pulled away from the ways of the great fire nation." Her disarming tone contrasted her tense arms and straight back, he noticed.
"You are quite observant, Azula." Iroh ventured. He could tell this was an attempt at blackmail, and yet, he did not feel bothered. Experience told him that there was a bigger fish here, lurking under the murkiness of this conversation.
"I've been told. I've also heard the things you tell Zuko when you teach him. Dumb things." A glint appeared in her eye, "Treasonous things, if you listen hard enough. You've tried whispering little things that change how he thinks about the world, or at least you try. I think little Zuzu is too dumb to know what you're saying. He doesn't understand subtlety. But I do, and I think ... how should I say this ... I think your fire burns differently than the rest of the fire nation's." Azula stared at him with an intense gaze. A hardening of the eyes and soul, a determination that Iroh had seen in his own soldiers before. A strengthening of resolve, the commitment to do something that took a great deal of courage.
"You are correct in saying that." Iroh affirmed. She nodded absently, as if figuring as much, then stood.
"You have been honest enough, and I think you know what I can do to you after reading your books and letters. Now, I think it's time I am honest as well." Azula purposefully marched over to the basin.
"I need a teacher, Uncle." She whispered, gazing into the water longingly, "I think you understand what it's like to be surrounded by people who don't think like you do. Who cannot teach you in a way that aligns with what's inside you." She swished her hand a foot over the basin, and the water flew from the bowl, spilling onto the ground, shining in the silver moonlight. Time seemed to stand still for a moment, and Iroh's heart skipped a beat.
All her strange questions and veiled threats made sense now. He'd thought it impossible - truthfully, Iroh hadn't considered this at all - even with Roku's suggestion that he begin his search closer to home. That would mean the Earth Avatar had died long before his siege at the wall. Lu Tens loss was for naught. He clenched his jaw, feeling wetness prickle at his eyes. No, losing Lu Ten led him here to a girl who needed his guidance. It must be fate.
Yet it felt impossible, even wrong still. Two Avatar's in the royal line? Iroh had taken Roku's words into consideration, but to think this? That the spawn of Ozai would also be the one to restore balance. Zuko was also born of Ozai. That inner voice reminded him. He watched Azula stew over the water basin, as he numbly realized she had attempted a crude imitation of waterbending. She was not in control yet.
"I know you see the world in a similar way, I just can't-" Her voice broke, "I'm the princess of the firenation. Why- why did the spirits curse me? I can't even think anymore Uncle! I wanted to fit the role I was born into, made for! I trained with Father until my muscles ached and my bones cracked!" Her breathing became labored, and the bowl sloshed even further, controlled only by Azula's raw emotion. "But I have two roles now. And they both operate in opposite to each other. If I want to be the Avat- what the spirits want me to be then I have to sacrifice my own nation for that! And then, if I want to be the greatest fire nation princess in history, I give up something greater than just my nation! I give up a part of me that wants peace and balance! It screams at me for it! Father doesn't care for that, and I can't please him anymore! I can't even bend this stupid bowl of water! I'm supposed to be a prodigy and now I need a teacher!" Iroh watched her collapse under the impossible weight she bore. A child being tugged in two different directions would break. He could help show her the right path. Her emotional turmoil struck something deep within him. Her bravery in admitting that their own nation - her own father - could even possibly be in the wrong mirrored what he went through on his own journey. Even if her commitment to balance could use a few gentle nudges. Could Azula even be nudged? It didn't matter. Iroh resolved to try.
His mind had been made up. Probably from the moment she began to question him. Iroh wordlessly rose to comfort her, enveloping his niece in a tight hug. He braced himself to be shoved away. At least this once, under all the pressure she felt, Azula leaned into him. Her small hands grasped his nightrobes, and she buried her head, hiding her tears from him. His heart ached for his niece.
"The spirits are louder than ever, Uncle - I'm not - Roku says I don't have a strong connection with the spirit world, but things are urgent, something is coming! I need to take action to quiet them, and Roku told me I can trust you." She mumbled tearfully into his robes, tugging at the aged general's heartstrings. Roku spoke to her? Iroh filed away that nugget of information for later. For now, his niece needed his comfort and assurance.
"You can. I will teach you everything I know." Iroh whispered fiercely. He'd been under the assumption that Azula was nothing more than a smaller mold of Ozai - shaped by his narcissism and cruelty. He'd nearly missed something by not looking hard enough, and now he thought of Lu Ten. His loss had changed how Iroh thought about the world and the sins he had committed in service of his nation. Now, he realized that perhaps he could find redemption in Azula - a girl - his niece - a princess - the Avatar - Avatar Azula, Princess of the Firenation.