Summary: After Santana storms out when Rachel and the rest of the New Directions insult her, Brittany is the only one who goes to her. Santana is desperate to know if the girl hates her as much as everyone else seems to. Set during Silly Love Songs.

A/N: Posted this a while back on tumblr. This ficlet is set during 2x12. Silly Love Songs is such an interesting Santana episode imo and it's when I really started to truly appreciate her as a character.

Santana was just a chaotic mess and it was pretty clear she was lashing out because she felt she couldn't be with Britt. I truly wish we had been able to see more of her relationship with Brittany during that time period but my headcanon is that their sexual relationship resumed around this time in canon.

Major thanks to frankenfinn for the prompt: "Do you hate me, too?" + Brittana

You can also find my Brittana stories on AO3: sarcasticscully

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything associated with Glee. This fic is for entertainment purposes only and no profit is being made.

I truly appreciate any comments. Let me know what you think xoxo

Santana stormed out of the room, still reeling from the sting of the Glee Club members' comments. She had never been more humiliated in her life. The dark-haired girl kept her head held high and tried to maintain her dignity even as she felt like her world was crumbling. There was no way she'd let those tone deaf losers' opinions affect her. She was Santana Lopez. She was better than all of them. Wasn't she?

It was embarrassing how she had only made it as far as the wall outside of the choir room before slouching against it, feeling her eyes sting as her cheeks became damp with tears. She felt like she couldn't breathe.

She could hear all of their voices one by one replaying in her head, no matter how much she tried to drown them out.

"Actually, you're just a bitch!"

" ...the only job you're going to have is working on a pole!"

To think it would be Berry of all people, the girl who the Glee Club and wider school population had considered to be the biggest loser who would be the one to make Santana feel like she was the lowest of human garbage. Maybe it was the stress of being all alone for once on Valentine's Day (Her? How could that even be possible?) and being rejected by everyone, even her last resort, gorilla-faced Puck - sure she was repulsed by him but any popular jock was good for her image - in favour of his newest paramour, the "endangered white rhino," but Santana was starting to believe they were all right.

Maybe she was just a monster.

Everyone ignored her as they filed out of the classroom, though she was sure she must have made a pathetic sight. Everyone, that is, except a certain blonde. Thank goodness for Brittany, who was always so loyal and kind to her when no one else was. Brittany who never judged her. Santana instantly leaned into the girl's touch, desperate for the contact as Brittany gently stroked her hair, ever so patient with Santana even though she was a blubbering - and probably ridiculous - mess.

"Sweetie, you should go wash your face," Brittany whispered gently, after a few minutes of listening to Santana sob hysterically like a child. She didn't really do much other than listen to Santana complain but her presence was comforting somehow, like it always was. Then in an even quieter voice when Santana didn't budge. "You don't want anyone else to see you like this, right?"

Santana then allowed Brittany to lead her away to the girl's bathroom, making sure to wipe her eyes against her sleeve to remove any evidence that she had been crying and put on her most intimidating face to scare off any students who would dare to judge her. Brittany said nothing, keeping an arm around Santana's shoulders and the dark-haired girl didn't shrug her off. She fleetingly wondered what Brittany's geeky boyfriend would think if he could see them huddled close together like this.

Santana quickly checked all over to make sure they were completely alone before breaking down and sobbing quietly again in the middle of wiping her ruined makeup off of her face, before she could stop herself. Brittany just stroked her back and watched her with such concern in her baby blues that Santana felt guilty about being such a wreck around her. It was like she couldn't stop the landslide of emotions today, everything she had bottled up inside her for so long coming to the surface.

She took a deep breath, finally voicing her deepest fear out loud as she tried to be brave enough to look Brittany in the eye. Her voice was trembling.

"Do you hate me, too?"

"What?" Brittany finally answered after a long moment, tilting her head to the side in genuine confusion, like if she had spoken another language. "What are you talking about, Santana?"

"Everyone secretly hates me," Santana snarled bitterly, staring down her own reflection in the mirror. "You heard them in the choir room. That's what they all really think of me. They think I'm just a monster with no feelings at all."

"They don't really hate you."

"Yes, they do!" Santana shouted, louder than intended and Brittany winced slightly. She was sobbing more dramatically now. Maybe this was what a panic attack felt like. "They're all right about me. Maybe I'm just the cold-hearted villain. I'm not a good person, Britt."

"Oh, Santana," Brittany sighed, her own voice cracking. She started to cry as well as she watched Santana become increasingly upset. "You're not a monster."

"How do you know?"

"Santana, you have so much beauty in you but you don't even see it. You're the bravest, strongest person I've ever met and you have the kindest heart but you keep it hidden away from everyone."

"Why are you always so good to me?" Santana asked in a tiny voice, her heart beating fast as she took in the blonde's words. She could never quite get over her amazement that a girl as angelic and perfect as the blonde would ever care about someone who was as much of a bitch as Santana was.

Brittany bit her lip and Santana noticed her gaze drop to her mouth as the dark-haired girl closed the distance between them.

Santana knew what she needed right now. Before the blonde could react, Santana pulled her into the nearest stall, locking the door and pushing the girl up against it forcefully. She surged forward and took the blonde's bottom lip between both of hers as she gave in to her baser instincts. Brittany gasped and froze for a moment but gave in, whimpering softly. She tangled a hand in blonde hair, deepening the kiss as Brittany opened her mouth to her.

She grabbed the blonde girl's waist, pulling her in as close as humanly possible, desperate and hurried as Brittany returned the kiss. As they continued to kiss and touch, the anger and fear Santana felt all day finally started to melt away. She needed Brittany's soft body and cool skin against hers, her tiny moans and sighs in her ears, more than she had ever needed anything.

She felt like she was burning up from the inside out but when her hand finally drifted up the inside of Brittany's shirt, the blonde grabbed her wrist and pulled back slightly. Santana huffed in frustration, attempting to kiss her again but Brittany pushed back on her shoulders slightly, breathless. Santana was fascinated by the intensity of her blue eyes, the flush in her cheeks and her swollen, pink lips that were just begging to be kissed again.

"Santana, no. I can't..." Brittany panted, adjusting her clothes and hair. "We can't do that again."

"Why not?"

"I'm dating someone now. You know that." Brittany told her firmly as Santana felt like she wanted to evaporate into the ground beneath her, being reminded of Artie yet again. This day couldn't get any worse.

"I would give you everything, Britt. Anything you want. I'll be better for you than he is, I promise," Santana pleaded in a broken voice, knowing she was sounding frenzied but just willing to say or do anything if she could get back into Brittany's arms again. "Please, Brittany. I need you so much."

Brittany paused, glancing at her sadly over her shoulder. For a second, she hesitated like if she was about to give Santana what she wanted but then she turned away.

"Santana, I'm sorry. I do want to be with you but you're not yourself right now and I'm with someone else."

"Fuck!" Santana groaned as Brittany finally left her alone. She felt like her heart had shattered as she couldn't have the only thing she had ever really wanted.

She was sick of always being second best but in that moment, in her frustration with the world she decided that if everyone in Glee Club thought she was a villain, then she'd show them just how much of one she could be.