7. Aboveground Lunch
Couple of days had passed, but it was getting more and more obvious that situation was not going to get better, and the cold ice between Jareth and Sarah showed no signs of melting anytime soon. They spoke to each other only when absolutely necessary, crossing paths here and there. And the goblins were growing increasingly concerned about such path of events, in result abandoning their direct duties very often to make sure Sarah feels welcomed and comfortable in the castle which often irritated their king, who at first tried to use threats to get them to obey, but after a while seemed to give up. Sarah even overheard him mentioning to one of elves something along the lines 'whatever it takes, as long as she stays out of sight', thus allowing goblins to continue their care for the girl.
Elves, while not particularly friendly with the human girl, did showed her some certain amount of respect, once they learned it was the same Sarah who beat the Labyrinth. Still they showed more loyalty to Goblin King than goblins, and limited themselves with mere politeness, but nothing more. Sarah was not upset about it, and did not let it dishearten her from maintaining friendly attitude towards them. She was very excited to learn something new every day about the Labyrinth and its citizens, and it distracted her mind from one person who did everything to ignore her presence in the castle.
Jareth, however, while avoiding Sarah as much as he could, also had changed in comparison to his mindset in last few weeks. Not willing to put her in any risk, taking active part in inevitable fight against Lucan, he was seeking alternative ways how to defeat his opponent, appointing Sir Didymus as one of his advisors, and very often had council with him, the leaders of elven garrison and the goblin army general. And, of course, he believed Sarah would be left unaware of these secret meetings, but he was not taking in account the close friendship between her and fox knight, because Sir Didymus, while maintaining loyalty to the king, did not hid much from Sarah, strongly believing that being held in dark was not going to do any favor to her.
The presence of grawes right outside the Labyrinth was growing more concerning matter, because fireys could only do so much against them, and they worried that sooner or later they will find the way to slip past their defenses and get inside the Labyrinth itself, making it harder to track them down and eliminate the danger. Eventually, the Goblin King's council came to decision that the best course of action would be not wait for Lucan to make the first move, and do the reconnaissance before launching frontal attack on the Dark Castle.
Of course, aside of council members, no one else was aware of the plans made, the throne room was blocked from access with magic, and no one, human, firey or goblin could get through it unless the king allowed them to. But Sarah was not even trying to go near the places where Jareth could be, quite the opposite - she was trying to avoid him at all costs, save accidental run-ins.
But, as the days passed, she began to feel restless, bored and most of all, annoyed. She could not leave the city, and with given situation, there was nothing much to see - she only went out there to walk with Merlin, and spent the rest of time within castle walls. Jareth was not helping her mood, acting cold and distant whenever she saw him, and it began to get on her nerves. From one side, he supposedly needed her aid, but from other side, he acted like she was huge pain in his royal arse.
When she heard about the council's latest meeting and that everyone, herself included, were strictly forbidden to go anywhere near the throne room, Sarah felt her patience has reached its end. No matter how she would regret not being able to help her friends, Jareth's attitude was crossing every limits, and she could no longer bear it. If she couldn't go back home, she could at least try and get the point across to the king that this could no longer continue this way. Maybe she had to get his attention somehow? With such notion in mind, Sarah took the route that led her to one of her favorite places in the castle - the library.
She had found it by chance in next morning after arrival. After enjoying the comfort of bathroom, lounging in lavender scented bath until her fingers got prune, she found that her clothes were missing along with the hamper in which she tossed them last night. Not having much options, she picked the moss green gown from the wardrobe, surprised to find that it fit her perfectly as if sewn specifically for her. Putting on matching slippers, she quietly left the chambers to take a tour around the castle and get accustomed with it. Five years ago she had only seen the throne room and stairs maze aside of hallways through which she had run too fast to give a proper look around.
Sarah had to realize that the castle was much larger than it seemed from the outside, and it was nowhere near as messy and dirty as she thought it would be, if throne room was any indicator - but then again, that too was much larger and cleaner than she remembered it to be. It made her wonder if perhaps it was part of magic back then that allowed her to see the place the way she expected it to be, not for what it truly was. Now, without ticking clock in back of her mind, Sarah could explore the whole place fully with no rush, walking down the quiet hallways, her steps barely making any sound as she turned around the corner and came to see rich ornate oak door that stood slightly ajar, almost inviting her to walk in.
Peeking through the gap, she quietly gasped and with no more hesitate, slipped inside, the most exquisite library revealed to her eyes, and while she hadn't been actually visiting many libraries, she had seen pictures of some of really marvelous places in various parts of world, yet none could compare to Goblin King's library. Giant, sturdy shelves stretched by the walls and in rows throughout the entire room, up to ceiling, here and there ladder was placed to allow reach the very top, if needed. And the number of books... It was a true paradise for book lover like Sarah.
She approached the shelves almost reverently, letting her gaze roam on the rows and rows of books, some very old, worn out covers with thin layer of dust settled over, others quite new, the covers outlined with golden edges, some in leather binding, some in velvet and she could even see the wood carved covers for some very old volumes. Sarah could see the titles in unknown symbols that looked like runes, but more intricate and and elegant, but here and there she came across the books that were clearly in various human languages, English included. Unable to resist temptation, she pulled out one such book and opened it.
By the looks of it, it was a book of poetry, but clearly written by hand by unknown author. Sarah looked around and found the alcove, adorned with soft cushions, and settled there, starting to read from the beginning the poems that quickly enchanted her with their simple beauty and depth, forgetting about everything else. Her friends found her few hours later, engrossed in another volume, more books piled next to her, and from then on, Sarah spent few hours every day in library, sometimes smuggling a book or two into her room. Smuggling, so she wouldn't have to face Jareth to ask him permission - and she was not sure she would actually get one.
Today, however, Sarah had other plans, instead of simply huddling in her alcove (since when did she began to think of it as hers), and she began to scour through the shelves in search for recipe book - although her mood was more inclined toward something from either Agatha Christi or Simenon's works. But to her dismay, neither goblins nor their king apparently had interest in criminal novels as she spend an hour and found nothing of the sorts - the recipe book had nothing useful, and finally Sarah gave up searching and decided to improvise.
Trip downstairs to kitchen was successful in the sense that she only passed by couple of goblins, but no sight of king or even her friends - Sarah was sure they would likely not approve what she was going to do. The kitchen was empty, though the stove was still lit, the pots and pans steaming, but none of staff could be seen - it was no surprise. Given how many mouths they had to feed, they often began to work way before the dawn and finished deep into the night, so they used every moment they could to nap. Right now Sarah couldn't be happier about their perfect timing to doze off somewhere.
Looking over the available supplies, she tried to figure out what she could use. The variety of spices left her wondering if goblins preferred their food to hot spicy side. Then she had an idea - the castle had plenty of chickens running around, but - there's no chicken without eggs. Sarah began to search through entire kitchen and indeed, in one of cupboards she found the basket, full of eggs. She quickly snatched it and put on table, when suddenly her ears caught all too familiar sound of boots clattering against the stone floor.
Jareth, the almighty Goblin King himself - in kitchen? Of all places? Alright, this place is where everything is possible and nothing is what it seems, but...maybe I have hallucinations, Sarah thought, when steps came closer and closer, and she spun around to look if it really was Jareth, but... her elbow hit the egg basket. In last second she managed to grab it, but two eggs from the top rolled over the edge and fell down...
Forgetting all spells, Jareth dove toward the table to catch them, but the distance was too far - and His Royal Highness landed face down into the squashed eggs, nobly halting his slide against the table leg with dull thud.
Slowly...very slowly Jareth rose up from ground, and Sarah just as slowly moved backwards, struggling to hold hysterical laughter that threatened to burst across her lips. "Y-you must be very hungry..." She managed to whisper, regretting she did not had photo camera to capture the once-in-a-lifetime view before her eyes.
Jareth looked like modern art masterpiece. The dirt from floor caught in his hair, creating very peculiar design, the stream of yolk trickled across his forehead, one large drop swaying at tip of king's nose, and solid bump that would make any unicorn proud was slowly growing above his left eyebrow.
"May I ask, what are you doing here?" Not even trying to touch his face, Jareth crossed arms over chest, taking royal pose.
"I just... well, I thought... that maybe you're... hungry?" Sarah pointed at egg basket in case if he hadn't noticed it yet.
"Your thinking is appreciated, I was quite famished, indeed." Jareth nodded, and the yolk drop finally waved goodbye to royal nose and landed on king's boot. "Strange as it is, it seems my appetite has survived this unpleasant endeavour. And how exactly you intend to satisfy my hunger?" The smirk was back on his face and he tilted head, his gaze slowly roaming over Sarah from head to toes.
Sarah felt strange heat rushing over her body from his suggestive gaze that made her pulse quicken. She felt like mouse caught in trap, and took a deep breath to keep her body and mind in check. "If you don't mind... let it be surprise." She swallowed hard, taking another step backward, clutching the basket and holding it tight like shield between her and Jareth in case if he would advance any further. "I thought you might like to try something from Aboveground meals...one of our favorites." She allowed herself to smile nervously.
Jareth almost answered to her smile, but the pulsing throb in forehead made him wince and put hand against the hurt spot. He straightened out and made his way back to the door, walking backwards, not letting his gaze off Sarah. "Very well." He nodded. "In that case, I'll leave you to it."
Sarah waited until his steps faded away, then let out a breath she didn't realized holding, and turned to stove, poking the embers inside to stoke the fire back in life. In her mind's eye seeing Jareth's all but elegant landing, she couldn't stop laughing quietly at herself. It would've been worth filming to send later to funniest videos contest. With such material she'd be sure to win the prize - flying king without landing gear.
Filling pot with water, she hesitated for a moment, having second thoughts about giving Jareth lesson in form of planned meal... but then she recalled his recent behavior and snarky remarks. Alright, Your highness, you asked for it, she thought, one lesson of 'hell hath no fury like woman scorned' coming right up, deciding that one brief moment of almost humanity was not making up for the rest of his attitude, and resolutely put the pot on stove.
While waiting, Sarah sought out the rag and cleaned the mess on floor, sparing the poor kitchen goblins from this task, and pushed the unwanted sense of guilt away. She could not help in any way here, wasting her time either in her room or library, and the man who needed her aid, seemingly didn't wanted to accept it. Complete waste of time. Of course, she knew Jareth was no man as human man. He was Fae, but - it still did not gave him rights to be jerk. Fae or not, he had to learn that he couldn't just treat her like she wasn't even there and get away with it.
When eggs had boiled hard, Sarah cooled them off for a while, peeled and sliced in halves, taking the yolks out and into separate bowl to make the filling for whites. Everything she could find in kitchen - salt, various spices, pepper, mustard, grinded garlic and few other things - she poured generously in bowl, added the vinegar and then mixed it all together in even mass, grinning as she imagined Irene gasping in horror if she would see this. Sarah was not bad cook in general, but making the food for the Goblin King was not really the same as frying up some potatoes with sausage or cutting salad.
Once the mass was ready, she filled the egg whites with it, adding parsley leaves for decoration, then placed the halves on large plate, eyeing her handwork in satisfaction. Gastronomical grenades, specifically made for Goblin King, were ready.
Sarah was about to go and seek out one of kitchen goblins to ask the plate to be delivered to the king, when she spotted something that very much looked like glass bottle neck, for whatever reason sticking out of Hoggle's jacket, tossed in corner. Puzzled, she knelt down and tugged the small bottle out, her eyes widening in surprise, recognizing this Aboveground drink which undoubtedly came from her father's personal bar, built in bookcase in their bedroom - the paper label had tear in one edge, when Irene had accidentally caught it with her ring.
When did Hoggle managed to snoop through her father's supplies and snatched absinth, of all drinks? At first Sarah wanted to throw the bottle out so some of goblins wouldn't get their hands on it, but the little devil on her shoulder whispered her much better idea.
Sarah grabbed larger goblet and emptied the bottle in it, then placed both the plate and absinth filled goblet on tray, and finally went and got one of goblins, instructing him to take the meal to His majesty.
When the goblin, wavering beneath the size of tray, went upstairs to throne hall, Sarah counted to ten, giving him some handicap, and then run out of kitchen to hide in library. She had bad suspicions that very soon the castle might have humanoid dragon storming around with quite...devastating intentions. The bomb was ticking, all she had to do was wait for the explosion.
Jareth was ready to snap someone's neck since early morning.
The reason was planned surveillance trip, or rather those who were going to participate in it. Gathering the council in throne room, including several guard goblins, he laid out his plan which proved to be difficult task, because while elves were quite intelligent creatures just like Faes, goblins never took pride in possessing such quality as witty brain, and Jareth had to repeat everything at least twice, slowly and with simplified sentences so they would understand what exactly the king wanted from them.
Finally he managed to get the basics of the plan into their heads, threatening to Bog them in twenty various ways after every other sentence to get them to focus, and once it was done, he kicked everyone out of room. Realizing it was already midday, Jareth felt hunger gnawing at his insides, but since the kitchen goblins already had their hands full with feeding everyone in castle, he decided to take pity of them and made an exceptional trip downstairs himself to find some snack.
Entering the kitchen, Jareth realized someone beat him to it. He froze in confusion, seeing Sarah, and already opened his mouth to announce his presence, when she turned, startled and almost knocked the egg basket on floor. What happened next, he wished to wipe from his memory - and preferably hers as well.
Jareth made his exit as quickly as he could without losing dignity, transporting himself to his chambers once he was out of Sarah's view, and cleaned himself up, waiting with interest what she's going to make. A tiny twinge of remorse stirred in his chest. He had been keeping his distance from Sarah, being anything but welcoming host, yet...she had thought of him and went to make him something to eat despite the coldness he treated her with.
I'll have to find a way to make it up for her, he thought, pacing a little, his curiosity and anticipation growing. Maybe she wasn't seeing him in such bad light after all, and this thought awakened something he forbade himself to feel for long time - the hope.
It didn't took long for small goblin to enter the room, balancing tray above his hands. Jareth took it from him with absent-minded 'Thank you' that left the goblin blinking in astonishment for few seconds before the king dismissed him with wave of hand. Once the goblin left, glancing over his shoulder at least five times on his way to the door, stunned for king's sudden show of gratitude, Jareth eyed the eggs on plate and decided the food looks good, even appetizing.
Since he could not complain about lack of appetite, he grabbed one half without hesitation and threw it into mouth, chewed a bit and...froze.
He felt like a fireball was raging in his mouth, and should he open it, the flames will burst out like from dragon's throat - he could almost swear the smoke was already coming out of his ears and nostrils. Jareth counted to three, quickly swallowed the bite and inhaled sharply, looking for something to extinguish the fire that now was raging in his stomach as well, while taking note that maybe he should send the rest of this meal to Lucan instead.
What kind of guts people in Above have, if this is among their favorite meals? Are they made of stone or what, Jareth thought, seeing the goblet next to the plate, and assuming there could be something refreshing, he grabbed it, emptied in two gulps and... froze again with his mouth open. It was pure luck that following exhale was not performed too close to burning candle flame.
Why did the walls began to float? His legs felt wobbly as if he had drank few barrels of elven wine, head dizzy and vision hazy... Jareth barely had time to hiccup when he felt his body collapsing in chair. Unfortunately, the Underground did not distributed such strong drinks, and first time exhausted all strength from the king. In few seconds, the newborn dragon, named Jareth, fell into blissful sleep, his upper body slumped forward, head resting on table next to the plate.
Couple of minutes later, a quiet knock announced someone's arrival, and Sir Didymus carefully poked his head inside to address the king, but found him half laying on table. He must be very tired, the fox thought, but cleared his throat nonetheless to get Jareth's attention. When it didn't worked, he coughed again and spoke. "My apologies, Your Majesty, but the elves had some ideas about the trip and..."
The only response was loud snore, followed by virtuoso whistle.
"Your majesty..." Sir Didymus risked to step closer.
Silence, aside of snoring, continued. Sir Didymus felt uneasy, something was not right, but it couldn't be anything beyond repair, because snoring definitely came from living and breathing king. The fox stepped right next to Jareth's chair and raised on his toes to speak again, closer to his ear.
"Your Majesty!" And then he felt some strange scent that came from Jareth's mouth with each whistling sound.
Sir Didymus tried to figure out what it was, but then decided to not risk it and wait until the king wakes up. After all, it was no big emergency and there was no real need to disturb Jareth's sleep. The knight already turned to walk away, when his eyes fell on the plate with delicious looking meal.
Against every oath he took, every principle, tempted not by greed, but base necessity, Sir Didymus decided to commit the sinful deed, not for his own sake, but more to his comrades, because they haven't eaten anything since breakfast. With one last quick glance toward Jareth, he grabbed the plate and rushed out of room, straight to the downstairs.
His stomach made cheerful growl, eyeing the food. Goblins greeted him like hero, only Hoggle gave suspicious look at his friend whose eyes gleamed in delight like after glorious victory in battlefield.
"Where did you got it?" The dwarf demanded to know.
"Don't ask! Eat! Questions later!" Sir Didymus growled, his stomach protesting against such long delay, and these protests were loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room. He already reached paw to get one egg, when another hand pushed his aside, and junklady snatched three pieces at once. Sir Didymus snarled and quickly grabbed one for himself, when the goblins realized they can get nothing if wait too long and surrounded the fox and the plate.
Almost simultaneously the meal vanished in many mouths and... deafening silence fell over the room, lasting precisely three seconds, followed by polyphonic air siren.
"Wha... wha... what is THAT?" Hoggle seethed.
Sir Didymus felt his eye would explode out of socket, the goblins clutched at their throats, stomachs, some even at their backsides, unable to tell which part of their bodies caught the fire. Junklady had it worst of all - in her greed and fear someone could steal a single morsel from her, she had swallowed all three pieces at once. Now her insides melted in scorching flames, and junklady even tried to lick the wall before collapsing on floor under her pile of junk.
"Water! Water!" Goblins seethed and yelled. "Give water!"
Ludo, the only one left without the meal for sole reason of being too slow to make his way through to the plate, took the request literally and grabbed the bucket of water, pouring it onto the howling goblins, his friends included. A moment later, everyone was not only panting, but also wet, looking like bunch of furious warriors of vengeance after walking through fire and water. Literally.
"Where did you got it?" Hoggle yelled at Sir Didymus as soon as he got back his breath and voice.
"I s-s-stole it..." The fox squeaked.
"WHERE?" Hoggle barely held himself together, because through the anger, he felt the growing fear that someone was deliberately trying to kill the goblin army - if not by sword in battlefield, then by trickery through their stomachs.
"From...f-from..." Sir Didymus was stuttering. "From Jareth's he...from his table..."
"What? And he gave us this...this... living fire himself?" Hoggle shouted in disbelief.
"No...he look'd wel' eat'n 'nd a'leep on t'ble..." The fox barely could speak in fright.
"He... he sleeps on table?" Hoggle's eyes widened, with trouble deciphering what his friend was saying.
"No, sits at table, but head is on table... asleep... snoring... Jareth sleeps..." Sir Didymus lost ability to explain anything.
"Where's Sarah? What happened to 'er?" Hoggle screamed in panic. With a quick look at drenched, moaning and uncensored swearing pile of goblins, he rushed up the stairs. Brandishing his staff in readiness, Sir Didymus run after him with Ludo tailing them both as fast as his massive shape could move.
"Sarah! Saaaaraaah!" They searched one room after another, looking for the girl who definitely was in big trouble. If goblin stomachs were more or less sturdy and could digest lot of things, it was not the same for human girl who could've end up poisoned by such food. There was no one in throne room, and as they risked to even check Jareth's chambers, where, according to Sir Didymus, the king was sleeping... they found no one. The room was empty, and Jareth was gone.
"Oh no... don't tell me that..." Hoggle moaned, not wanting to even think of what happened.
Making sure Sarah was not in her room either, they continued to search through the castle, until they reached the library. "M'lady? Lady Sarah!" Sir Didymus run inside, yelling from top of his lungs, skidding to halt, when Sarah appeared from behind the shelves.
"What happened?" She startled, seeing the sheer panic in their friends' faces. All this time she had been hiding in library, awaiting for Jareth's outburst, both fearing it and also hoping that it might be enough for him to maybe send her home - of course, if there would be anything left of her once he's done ripping her apart for this meal. Even though she wanted to go back home, or at very least get king to finally acknowledge her presence, either of things was harder to achieve, being torn in small enough pieces to fit in matchbox.
"Thou are feeling alright?" Sir Didymus stated the obvious with slight surprise.
"Does it make you happy or disappointed?" She grinned. "Of course, I'm alright. Why I wouldn't be?" However the look on their faces told that something very bad had happened.
"Someone just tried to poison all of us with stuffed eggs. There must be some Lucan's spy sneaked in castle!" Hoggle hastily explained. "We must be careful until we find where that bastard is hiding!"
"Hold on for a moment, Hoggle. What do you mean, 'poison'? And why 'all of us'?" Sarah frowned in mild confusion. "Are you... are you saying that others too ate the food I made?"
Hoggle gasped in shock. "You made it?"
"Thou... thee made it, m'lady?" Sir Didymus pushed the tip of his staff in his own ear to prod it to ensure his hearing did not failed him.
"Sawah... fire... water... " Ludo made conclusion.
"Why ye wanted to kill us off, and in such horrible way?" Hoggle stepped backwards, away from her, and bumped into shelf so hard, it swayed a little and a book fell on top of his head.
"That food was meant for Jareth, not you! How that plate even got to goblins in first place?" Sarah pressed hands in sides, giving stern look at each of them. It was a good question, but answer was right in front of them.
Hoggle and Ludo slowly and threateningly turned heads toward Sir Didymus who wished to become invisible in this very second. But no miracles happened, and since the fox was very visible from head to toes, Hoggle grabbed the same book that moment ago tried to flatten his head, and threw it straight at the knight. Thankfully, Sir Didymus had excellent reflexes and he caught the book - rather, his staff caught it, stabbing into the cover. Ironically, it was recipe book.
The fox turned to Sarah and presented the book to her like the greatest treasure of the world. "Next time, m'lady, take this with thee when going to kitchen!"
"If you didn't wanted to poison us, then for what sins ye wanted to bring such fate upon Jareth?" Hoggle continued to interrogate her. "Especially since... me thinks ye could've succeeded!"
Sarah's face suddenly lost all color, leaving her ghostly white. Oh no... not that. No, no, she did not wanted to kill anyone, not so literally. Not even Jareth, annoying as he was.
Only now she realized that she hadn't thought about possible effect her meal might leave upon Underground being. Even if Jareth was no goblin, she had no clue of his daily menu, they never shared any meals whatsoever. Maybe he was using magic to conjure something up from his crystals or something.
"Where...is...Jareth?" She asked, barely able to move her lips.
"Gone! Missing!" Hoggle scolded her like never before. "Maybe those fire eggs of yous made him go to Lucan to punch 'im in face one on one! Bloody hell, Sarah, what ye were even thinking when..."
He was talking to empty air, because Sarah was already out of library and half way to the throne hall, which was dreadfully empty. Without slowing down, she raced through it and up to the stairs maze, but still had no clue of where His Majesty could be. Her heart beating rapidly, Sarah looked around, desperately trying to think of any place where the king could be, when some movement to her left caught her eye. She slowly stepped toward one of archways, and suddenly noticed something that looked like abandoned bird nest. Not quite understanding what she was looking at, she moved closer, when the nest twitched a little.
And here she thought that Jareth looked like peculiar fashion etalon before. It was nothing compared to what she was looking at now.
Jareth's hair that normally appeared as if he had tried to stab a fork in power outlet during one of his visits in Aboveground, now looked like after medium size tornado had passed through them, but underneath the king himself was staring somewhere with hazy eyes, humming something about 'don't touch eggs, better finish off chickens'.
The picture altogether was so funny, Sarah barely held laughter despite the dire situation, but she knew very well that if he had desire to finish off chickens after this meal, her own fate was sealed into multiple matchboxes that will be delivered to her home with her remains. "I'm toast." She murmured under her nose. "Alright, let's try to salvage...what can be salvaged." Even if there was nothing to salvage anymore. No, she could still help the king, but to herself - not likely.
She made a few steps closer, and Jareth, sensing her presence, moved his clouded gaze from ceiling towards her. "Sarah? Shall we continue the lunch?" He murmured, somehow finding his way upright, leaning against the wall. "What's on dessessert? Come 'ere." The order was said in slurred, barely decipherable way.
Sarah did not dare to disobey, silently wondering what's wrong with his speech, but as she came close enough, a strong alcohol scent hit her nostrils. Oh well, that explained his lack of balance and impaired speech. Almighty king was Almighty Drunk, luckily that seemed to be the worst of it. He would be fine eventually...more than she could say about her own nearest future.
Jareth's eyes slid shut, his body slumping downwards again while he mumbled something incoherently about fire, chicken and eggs, ignoring Sarah's attempts to shake him back to alertness. "Jareth! Did you what...drank entire goblet empty?" She exclaimed.
"Mhm," the king peeked at her with one eye open, purring. "Bottoms up!" That added to the explanation why he was unable to even speak normally, or even stand, and Sarah groaned in frustration. After all, absinth was no lemonade to consume in such amount in one take. "You know... the drink was real good, but food...ick..." Jareth hiccuped. "My apologies... the food tasted like dragon piss... but I could... use it...against...the...enemy..." This sentence had drained whatever strength he had, and with a wide yawn, he began to slid lower, succumbing to the gravity.
"Oh no, not again! Get up!" Sarah groaned, but her voice was like empty sound in Sahara desert, and she had no other option but to slap his Royal Highness.
After sixth, gradually stronger slap, Jareth finally opened his eyes and almost swung at her in return, but he couldn't focus his eyes and missed, but Sarah used this maneuver to push her shoulder under his armpit and used her weight to slowly get him up on his feet. Ugh, someone should drop some weight here, she thought. Even though the king was lean and visually did not looked too heavy, right now he proved to be quite solid deadweight, and Sarah had to use all strength and bit more from so far unknown reserves to not let this drunk Fae.
"Where to take you?" She asked very loudly into Jareth's ear, forcing him to jerk away and look down at his support.
"I'm not deaf...just...a little tired... Take me to the chambers... my chambers..." He muttered.
Sarah rolled her eyes, slowly starting to make the way out of the maze. They staggered through the throne room, almost tripping few times over the clutter, left by goblins, then Jareth gave some vague instructions where to next, and the girl steered him through one hallway, then another, until reached one more familiar passage.
She almost cursed, realizing that Jareth's chambers were right next to hers. He had been just one door away from her the whole time, and she never even knew about it? And why he gave her this particular room? Intentionally or was it simply the only one available? She glared at the large, golden ornate door as they approached it, and Jareth waved hand to make the door open, but since he could not control his magic like normally, the door opened only in a small gap with enough room for just one and preferably stable person.
"Oh well..." Sarah sighed, eyeing the gap doubtfully, then began to steer the king toward it. "Nice and easy."
The first attempt was destined to fail - Jareth bumped his head for second time today against something, this time it was doorframe, and squinted down at the girl. "Careful, young lady." The irony laced his tone and surprisingly enough, Sarah felt his fatigue was dissipating, though she still had to support him with all her strength.
The second try was more successfully, but the gap was so narrow, Sarah had to squeeze into Jareth's bosom so tight, they basically glued together. This was not how she had imagined to be so close to him. In her imagination, it usually happened in more comfortable conditions and with less clothing. Stop, Sarah, don't go there, she reminded herself sternly, but the blush seeped into her cheeks. She was close enough to feel his body's warmth wrapping around her like soothing blanket, and his scent... strangely no longer mixed with alcohol at all, instead she inhaled the soft mix of peaches, leather and something else... something...magical that was significant only to Jareth.
Forcibly pulling her brain back into present and to their current predicament, Sarah attempted to push the door wider, but it was too heavy and massive, and just when she thought it can't get worse - it did. They got stuck. Sarah tried to shift sideways to somehow give more room for at least one of them to get through, but Jareth had slumped onto her so much, there was no hope for her to do anything at all.
"Interesting... and what are we going to do now?" Jareth smirked.
"There are options? I'm all ears." Sarah hissed, still struggling to ignore she was basically embracing the Goblin King almost inappropriately tight. His tone, however, rang a small alarm bell in her mind, and she peeked up, meeting his eyes that didn't looked clouded anymore.
Something was off. Her instincts told her that this is the moment she should quickly make her escape... of course, if she could move at all.
"Hmm...I don't know. You could entertain me with stories of favorite Aboveground recipes... " Jareth nonchalantly drawled, but it was just a calm before the storm. And storm came instantly, striking her head on in form of very pissed Goblin King's roar. "What in the devil you put in those eggs?!"
Sarah visibly winced, jerking her head back, but only painfully bounced it against the door, having no way to escape the furious king. She wished to be anywhere but here, but the one thing that could've helped her to make her wish come true, was laying on her nightstand, close enough, yet too far out from reach. Swallowing hard, she did the second dumbest thing she could do, putting calm mask on her face.
"My apologies, your highness, I had absolutely no clue you could be so...fragile. Maybe your chickens are different here and lay dragon eggs..."
Jareth's teeth audibly gritted, and Sarah was thankful they are stuck, preventing the king from moving his arms, but...she yelped loudly, when pair of strong, leather clad hands grabbed her shoulders in so tight hold, she feared her bones might break, and her back slammed against the doorframe. In moment of horror, Sarah realized they were never stuck in first place - Jareth had hooked himself against the door and deliberately 'stuck' them both.
"I'll show you just how fragile I am, Sarah! You will have full taste of that, but now you will go in there," he snapped head toward the room behind him, "and eat yourself entirely this Aboveground masterpiece of yours, and I'm gonna enjoy watching just how tasteful... "
"But...I can't do that!" Sarah interrupted him, panic growing in her chest. "Your goblins ate the rest of it!"
She stared into Jareth's eyes, watching several emotions rapidly exchanging each other - disbelief, shock, anger and finally something she could not put name on. "What?!" He choked. "What have you done to them?"
"I didn't do anything! Don't blame me for all goblin sins!" Sarah shook her head, and indeed, she was truly not at fault the plate had changed recipients without her or Jareth's consent.
But Jareth wasn't even listening. He sharply pushed her aside and left in a hurry, all intoxication and fatigue long gone, only his steps echoed in stairs. Sarah sank down on floor, not knowing if she wanted to laugh or cry. Her chances to get home were down to zero, instead she gained very high possibility that from now on every day will pass according to best horror movie scenarios, written and directed by his Majesty no worse than James Cameron.
Sarah felt her chest tightening and it became difficult to breathe. She reached up to tug at the dress lace and loosen it up, when she realized something was missing. Her hand brushed around neck, finding nothing - her stepmother's gift was missing. When and how...maybe in her room? Oh, who cares about that now, she thought, having much bigger trouble than missing jewelry.
A distant barking caught her ear, and Sarah looked up at her friendly company approaching, escorted by Ambrosius and Merlin. The latter padded over to the girl and nudged her face with wet muzzle, and Sarah smiled weakly, brushing hand over her face, only now realizing there were tears trickling down her cheeks. Merlin whimpered, feeling her distress, and put his head on her shoulder. Sarah sighed and wrapped arms around the dog's neck, looking at her friends as they rushed to her.
"Sarah, what's wrong with Jareth? He flies downstairs, yanks the goblins around, asked to show tongues and eyes, asking 'bout how they feel...demanded the healer to come and check on every'ne... He never done that before, 'tis never been his concern! Aye, none felt happy after the lunch, but none is going to drop dead either. Spat fire a bit, run around the corner, but that's all! But his majesty fussin' around goblins as if their last breath hath come..."
"Hoggle! Shut it for a moment! At least for five minutes!" Sarah halted dwarf's verbal avalanche. "Take a breath and calm down. Jareth is perfectly fine, as much as I would say otherwise, but he's fine. And goblins will be fine too. I think his highness is simply worried he will be left without army, that's all." But deep down, Sarah knew it wasn't true. It had been genuine concern she saw in Jareth's eyes when he realized his subjects ate the horrible food, and in his worry about them, he forgot to keep yelling at her. For now.
"So...His majesty hath survived this ordeal? That is, he was asleep and..." Sir Didymus tried to make conclusions and estimate the number of gastronomical disaster victims in total.
"Yes, he's alive and well. He just... he drank the content of bottle I found in your jacket, Hoggle." Sarah's eyes turned to the dwarf, eyebrow raised. "By the way, can you explain how did it got there in first place?"
Hoggle suddenly looked extremely ashamed. "Well, I... back there...in your house... you left for a while, and I wanted to look around...and there were pretty bottles in bookshelf..." He stammered. "I didn't think it could be something bad inside..."
"Depends how you look at it." Sarah grumbled only for sake of grumbling, because no matter what, she couldn't stay mad at Hoggle in long term. "Jareth also didn't think it was something bad. At least for a while."
"But still, all's well that ends well, but... why?" Sir Didymus asked. "Why did thee do it?"
Sarah owed him the answer, because she was asking herself the same thing. Earlier everything seemed much clearer, but now...? She felt the headache creeping in, feeling like she had drank something strong herself. This feeling probably was called hangover. Very solid moral hangover.