Summary: Brittany broke Santana's heart by choosing Artie but deep down the blonde knew she would always belong to the girl. What would happen if Brittany went to find Santana after the tragic love confession scene? A ficlet set during the events of Glee S2x15 (Sexy)

A/N: This is set directly after Santana's love confession to Brittany in Sexy. It has been a while since I watched the episode but I've always wanted to explore them comforting each other after that scene. This is such a complicated time for Brittana and really when they are at their most flawed, so as you can imagine there's a lot more angst than my usual fics.

The song is "Quit Playin' Games With My Heart" by Backstreet Boys

Comments are much appreciated as always. Hope you enjoy this one.

This was officially the worst day of her life. The girl she loved more than anything had just rejected her love just when she had finally had the courage to admit her deepest secret out loud to her. Santana could barely see where she was going, her vision clouded by tears and her hair hanging in front of her face as she ran through the corridor, never looking back. She wrapped her arms around her chest tightly and defensively, barely even caring about what she looked like to anyone who might see her. She couldn't even handle the sight of Brittany, knowing the agony it would bring to be reminded of what the blonde just told her. She desperately needed to get away from everything. Making herself so vulnerable had been a complete mistake.

Her body kept shaking involuntarily, a feeling of complete emptiness and betrayal crashing over her like it never had before as she felt colour drain from her face, her throat tight and dry. One part of her was devastated and the other was furious with herself, with Brittany, Artie and the whole situation.

Was this it? All the effort Santana had made, the way she tried so hard to be good for Brittany, to talk about her stupid feelings the way the blonde was always wanting her to… to admit to her love for the girl… had it been all for nothing?

Santana felt like a complete fool.

How could Brittany choose him in the end, after everything the two of them had been through together? If Artie - even the twerp's name brought a sour feeling to her stomach and intensified the nausea she already felt - was so damned important then why was it Santana whose arms and bed Brittany always returned to in the end? Why was Santana still the one the girl confided in the most?

The lyrics of an old song began to drift back to her as she ran away from the blonde, trying desperately to get Brittany out of her head even as her memories of all of her moments with the girl kept replaying. Santana used to think it was just another corny love song but now she understood how the singer felt about the girl he sang about. She imagined herself singing the song to Brittany, expressing the hurt and confusion she felt.

Even in my heart I see

You're not bein' true to me

Deep within my soul I feel

Nothing's like it used to be

… Sometimes I wish I could turn back time

Impossible as it may seem

But I wish I could so bad, baby

Quit playin' games with my heart

… Quit playin' games with my heart

Before you tear us apart (my heart)

Quit playin' games with my heart

I should've known from the start

You know you got to stop (from my heart)

You're tearing us apart (my heart)

Quit playin' games with my heart

Santana barely made it into her car, breaking down completely once she was inside. She could care less about finishing out the school day. All she wanted to do was hide out in her bedroom and maybe never wake up again. Brittany was her entire world but maybe the girl would never love her back.

If Santana was being honest with herself, she had never loved anyone or anything more than Brittany. She had never wanted anything more than her and she hated how someone could have so much of a hold over her. The thought that she would never be good enough for the girl made her weep some more, slumping over in the driver's seat of her car and covering her face with her hands as she struggled to block everything out.

"Who knew being fluid meant you could be so stuck!?"

"Get off of me!"

Brittany had never been so good at focusing on school… or much else really but after her last meeting with Santana, it was almost impossible to concentrate on anything Mr. Schuester was saying in Spanish class. The curly-haired teacher kept tilting his head to the side in confusion when the blonde would give him these vacant stares as he drawled on about past tenses or future tenses or something.

Brittany had tried to slip out of class but the teacher was watching her closely, knowing about Brittany's tendency to not take her classes seriously, so she had to endure waiting another forty minutes until she could see Santana again. They were the longest forty minutes of her life. She rested her head on her desk as Mr. Schue droned on and doodled absentmindedly in her notebook, trying to hold back tears whenever she thought about Santana. The way she had looked at her with such confusion and despair sent a sharp pain through the blonde.

The curly-haired man raised an eyebrow, asking her at one point if she felt sick and he was confused by Santana's absence as well.

Santana hadn't shown up to class after her love confession of course. It took everything within Brittany not to follow her when she saw the utterly heartbroken look on the girl's face, the way tears ran freely down her cheeks as she stormed away. The second she saw those dark eyes so filled with pain, the way the girl's lower lip trembled - when she heard the way her raspy voice shook, so raw with emotion, Brittany instinctively moved closer to put her arms around Santana like she had done so many times before. She knew Santana desperately needed the comfort she offered.

The girl turned her away as Brittany expected she would and rejected her touch - she just knew Santana would lash out like this - but it didn't make it any less painful. Nothing could hurt worse than having the person she loved more than anything in the universe push her away so strongly. Santana had never refused her touch before and it hurt Brittany to the core when she lashed out at her so viciously. Santana was completely shattered, more upset than she had ever seen her in her life and Brittany couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that it was all her fault.

Brittany had never been more confused as she had been that entire junior year, her mind constantly feeling clouded. It was like she was torn in two, half of her with Artie while the other half was with Santana at any given time.

Artie was supposed to be her boyfriend but Santana was her greatest weakness. She couldn't resist Santana no matter how many times she told herself she needed more than what the girl had been giving her.

Santana's love confession itself hadn't been a shock to Brittany.

She knew Santana was in love with her.

Maybe she had always known. It was as simple and clear to her as knowing that the sky was blue. It was just maybe the first time the girl had expressed it out loud in those words; that part was a little surprising.

Santana stayed up with her all night that time when they were thirteen and Brittany had the flu, taking care of her the entire time and wiping her face with a cool washcloth every hour.

Santana would watch her getting out of her pool and look at her in her bikini, mesmerized as if she was seeing an angel in human form before her.

When those two jocks were perving on Brittany when they were fourteen, Santana punched one of them, attacking him viciously with all her strength even though she was half their size to protect the girl.

Santana let her cheat off of her maths test that one time when she noticed Brittany about to cry when she was struggling to answer any of the questions even though the dark-haired girl could risk failing herself if she were caught.

She would catch Santana staring at her from across the room everytime they were in Glee Club, as if she needed to memorize every little reaction from the girl and the way she would try so hard with her jokes or insults just to make Brittany smile at her.

Santana became upset beyond belief when Brittany confessed to her that she was going to lose her virginity to a footballer.

They first made love in Brittany's soft bed on freshly laundered sheets on that same warm summer afternoon after their tearful argument about the footballer. That was how Brittany lost her virginity. Santana was so gentle with her, so tender and adoring as her warm hands swept over Brittany's exposed skin. It was the first time either of them had been intimate with anyone and they both knew this. Brittany would constantly seek out that same feeling from every future lover she had and only find it again when she was being taken by Santana.

The blonde also knew that she loved Santana. She loved her deep within her soul and the force of it left her breathless sometimes, a warmth filling her from the inside out that she couldn't explain. She had known this early on. Santana on the other hand, was just figuring out that she was in love with Brittany and it was like a rollercoaster of emotion for the girl. Maybe Santana had always had an inkling that her feelings for Brittany ran deeper but hadn't been ready or willing to explore just how passionate her feelings were.

Brittany relaxed into feeling, submitting to it easily. She saw nothing wrong with love. It was beautiful and the best feeling she had ever had. For Santana, it was the opposite. Just like everything else, she stubbornly kept her emotions welled up inside of her until she exploded when she couldn't hold them in anymore, like Brittany expected would happen.

Maybe that's why she'd been so cool-headed, so casual in her response that she loved Santana too because admitting she loved her had never been a big deal. Santana took her casualness the wrong way, misunderstanding her.

For Santana, it was the biggest deal in the world. She could tell that Santana hadn't been expecting that reaction from her, had felt beyond hurt and upset to the core that Brittany didn't give her the answer she wanted.

Usually she understood Santana so completely but these days the girl made her so disoriented sometimes with all of the whiplash she had been giving her. She didn't know how to get it through the girl's head that she was in love with her too; she just wasn't satisfied with having to be her dirty little secret anymore. She wasn't going to take being hurt by Santana anymore when she had other options.

Sometimes it was so clear what she wanted: the dates, flowers, and romantic declarations Artie gave her but from Santana instead. The passion of her intimacy with Santana but also someone to claim her as their girlfriend, to not be afraid to tell the world that they loved her, to be committed to her in every way.

Artie was sweet, kind… and boring. Brittany couldn't deny that while her mind told her Artie was the one she should be going to because it was the right thing to do, her body and heart desperately wanted the thrill of Santana. Everytime she was with the boy, since the very beginning of them dating, she had been thinking of nothing but Santana. When the boy would bring her flowers, Brittany would have visions of Santana in a simple black dress, handing her a bouquet of bright pink roses or daisies with that charming, dimpled smile of hers on her face instead of the boy.

When she was at the movies with Artie, she would fantasize about Santana being next to her instead, her strong arm around her shoulders as their hands brushed accidentally whenever they both reached into the bucket of popcorn. His touches and kisses had no effect on her, never gave her the little sparks and deep yearning in her soul she felt when Santana so much brushed against her.

She needed more than him. She needed Santana's passion and strength. She needed Santana penetrating her physically and metaphorically, making her feel so full and possessed in every way. She needed Santana's full, warm lips and gentle hands caressing every inch of her bare skin. She needed the excitement of Santana's fire. She needed Santana as her protector.

She'd daydream about what Santana would be like as a girlfriend instead of someone who only wanted her to be their secret.

There were two worlds: romantic dates and public declarations from Artie but passionate sex with Santana. Brittany felt like she was being pulled in two directions.

Brittany had never had an official boyfriend before, or a girlfriend but she couldn't help but feel like having a first romantic partner shouldn't feel like this.

The truth was that despite her strong argument about why it wouldn't be right to hurt Artie, Brittany was weak for Santana. She couldn't bear the thought of the girl being all alone and in tears. She wanted to comfort her and she wanted to be in Santana's arms as well. She needed everything to be right between them again and as confused as she was, everything inside of her wanted to be near Santana, especially knowing that the girl was in her most vulnerable state.

That was why the first thing Brittany did when school ended was run to the Lopez house. Gretchen, another Cheerio who was sometimes friendly toward Brittany and Santana, gave the girl a drop back to her house. She was looking at her in confusion and clearly wondering where the Latina was as everyone knew Santana was always the one to drop Brittany home. Then Brittany rode her pink bike over to the Lopez house.

It was completely empty apart from the girl, as Brittany expected it would be as Santana's dad had moved out after the divorce and her mom was no doubt away on some business trip yet again. Brittany knew Santana was so lonely these days, as she had no real other friends aside from Brittany and her parents were barely around. Now that the two girls had barely been talking to each other lately, Santana really had no one as she had practically lost her best friend or so the dark-haired girl seemed to think.

Ever since Brittany began dating someone else, Santana had been more distant than ever before, responding snappishly at times to the blonde in an uncharacteristic way, constantly insulting the blonde's boyfriend and pulling away from her when she tried to get close. Verbal communication with her had been out of the question as Santana would shut down completely, deflect, or get angry with her for even trying to talk about what their relationship meant. Brittany knew what all of it meant deep down and it had lead up to Santana finally erupting after she had bottled up her deepest feelings for so long. Brittany took out her phone, sending a few texts to Santana before she could think twice about how this might be a bad idea.

Can I come in? I'm outside your house right now.

Predictably, there was no response as seconds turned into minutes and Brittany looked down at her shoes sadly before her gaze drifted to the few plant pots lining the Lopez' sparse front porch.

Please, Santana. Please just let me talk to you.

That too was ignored. Brittany sighed as she tried to call her and as she suspected, Santana had turned off her phone.

The blonde knew where the key to the front door was hidden and easily fished it out, letting herself in. She had done it a million times before as she had been to the Lopez house so many times over the years. She called out Santana's name several times but heard nothing. A trip down to the basement confirmed that Santana's room was empty, though Brittany noticed it was a complete mess as it usually was, especially when Santana was feeling upset.

Luckily, Brittany knew Santana had a hiding place when she was really upset. She went up to the attic and instantly noticed a small, dark-haired form hiding in the shadows. Her heart clenched as Santana sniffled, wiping her eyes on the back of her arm. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and was hiding her face.

"Santana? It's me. Can you come down?"

Of course, the blonde was the very last person Santana wanted to see at that moment. She made her agitation known when she heard the freckled girl's footsteps and voice calling to her.

"What do you want?" Santana cried loudly when she saw her, scowling in her direction. "Where's your stupid boyfriend? Shouldn't you be with him?"

"Santana…" Brittany started to say. She bit her lip, not knowing how to explain that she hadn't even thought of Artie once since her speech to Santana. She didn't know how to explain that despite her words, she hadn't gone to her boyfriend's side at all. Before Santana had brought him up, Brittany hadn't remembered his existence. She was just too weak to resist her attraction to Santana. "I'm sorry. Please just come out. Please come to me."

"No! Go away!" Santana shouted in a raw voice from the corner. Brittany winced, hating the fact that she was the one responsible for making Santana this upset. She sounded as if she had been crying for hours.

Santana had hurt her so many times in the past, whenever she pushed her away and acted like what they had together was nothing but Brittany still couldn't handle seeing her in this much pain.

Brittany stayed there for what must have been an hour, showing the girl that she wasn't going to abandon her when she was in this state. They were both silent, except for Santana's sniffles.

Santana then came down, storming downstairs with Brittany close behind her and she eventually stomped into her bedroom, laying stubbornly on her side on her bed with her arms folded defensively. Brittany couldn't take the way she looked at her as if she had betrayed her whenever her gaze fell on the blonde.

"Are you ever going to talk to me again?" Brittany whispered. The thought of losing Santana, of losing any connection to her that she had ever had made her heart shatter into a million pieces, her throat feeling tight as she struggled to breathe. "Please talk to me. I need you so much."

Santana's teary eyes drifted over to her finally at this.

"Why are you here? You… you made your choice. You chose him."

"I didn't really… You know I still care about you."

"You care about him more," Santana argued bitterly, her brittle voice finally breaking. "That's what you said isn't it? I get it now. What, did you want to rub it in some more? You don't love me the way I love you."

Brittany rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly as Santana glared at her with narrowed eyes. She didn't know what more she could say or do to make Santana understand how she truly felt about her.

"You know that's not true."

"Then why did you reject me? Why was I never enough for you?" Santana demanded in that same raw voice. "In the end, my love wasn't good enough for you. You don't have to come to me just because you feel sorry for me, you know. I don't need your pity."

"It's not that, Santana. It's not about that."

Santana slammed her fist down angrily, her jaw tightened as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

"What did he give you that I didn't?!"

Dates, flowers, stability, romance, a relationship, commitment… Everything I always wanted from you.

Those were the words Brittany wanted to say but she knew it wasn't what Santana wanted to hear and she couldn't get those words out, completely tongue-tied as dull espresso eyes met hers. Santana's emotions were so volatile and sometimes she couldn't quite control them. She felt everything so deeply. It was something Brittany had always loved so much about her but sometimes she didn't know how to handle Santana when she was in such a state.

Brittany could feel the tension rise between them so sharply that it could be cut with a knife as Santana's emotions finally boiled over.

"I don't want to argue with you anymore," Brittany's tears began to run down her face, reaching out to cup Santana's cheek as she tried to make her understand her. "I don't want us to argue ever again. I miss you. I'm sorry I made you cry. This whole situation… it's really confusing for me."

"Don't do this. I can't handle this anymore. Stop playing games with me."

"I never meant to hurt you," Brittany whimpered softly. "That's the last thing I wanted to happen. It breaks my heart to see you like this. You know I love you. I need you so much."

Santana watched her in silence, her full lips pressed together and her jaw clenched but then ever so slightly, her face gentled in a barely perceptible way. Brittany saw it, the way round dark eyes softened as soon as Brittany began to cry pitifully and her defenses eventually shattered, as if she couldn't take it any longer. She could never handle Brittany's tears.

"Don't cry. Come here."

Brittany did as she asked, slowly and cautiously approaching the girl. Santana moved closer, wiping a tear from Brittany's cheek, caressing it gently despite everything she had just told her in her furious state. Her body language was tense and stiff, clearly still reeling from everything. For a brief moment, everything felt lighter between them as Santana stroked her face. Brittany closed her eyes, relishing her touch. Her next words surprised Brittany.

"Take your clothes off." She ordered. Her voice was colder and tighter than normal. Brittany could tell she was holding back, trying to stay in control even though she needed the blonde's touch and affection just as much.

Santana's gaze lingered on her lips before trailing over the rest of her body as Brittany began to strip everything off, making a show of it the way she always did for the girl, the way Santana always liked so much.

Though it was so forbidden, so wrong, this was the only way Brittany knew how to soothe Santana, to make everything right between them again, the way things were before everything had changed so drastically. So she leaned in close, tilting her head and pressed her lips tentatively against soft, full ones. Santana's lips were so warm and familiar, tasting of something rich and animalistic that Brittany would never be able to get out of her head. Her scent, so musky and rich, intoxicated Brittany.

Sometimes, this was the only way she knew how to reach the girl because Santana was so closed off to her in every other way, verbally and emotionally. Yet when they were tangled together this way, she felt like Santana showed her all the feelings she had for her that she couldn't quite put into words for so long. Luckily this was something Brittany could do. She couldn't understand letters or numbers well but she could use her body. Her sexuality and femininity were her powers.

Brittany took cues from the girl and played by her rules. One of them was that they couldn't talk about what they did together in those private, stolen moments when they frantically ravaged each other or those other sweeter, more drawn out moments when Santana would worship her body, making her remember who she really belonged to. Brittany could never run from this and she knew the other girl was just as helpless to the attraction between them.

She heard a small noise of frustration and shock from Santana when she kissed her. The girl froze but didn't push her away. Even when Brittany began to move her lips softly, Santana didn't tell her to stop or push her away. Brittany instantly knew Santana wanted her when she felt her quivering against her and pushing up against her, her breathing becoming ragged. She needed Santana's touch so badly too, needed her warm hands trailing over her skin and making her feel secure the way they always did.

She needed warm, smooth skin sliding against hers so she began to take Santana's shirt off and then found the drawstring of her sweatpants, getting no complaints from the girl as she stripped her quickly. Santana lifted her hips to allow her to pull down the sweatpants as they continued to kiss heatedly, weaving her fingers through soft blonde hair. She flipped Brittany onto her back and mounted her, staring down into her face. She grabbed Brittany's wrists and wouldn't let her touch her, making it clear that the girl should let Santana dominate her. Brittany was more than willing to comply, surrendering completely to her lover's touch.

When they were like this, without any barriers between them, Brittany felt truly loved. She felt so weak and so selfish for going back to Santana yet again but she couldn't help but give in to this weakness they both had. She parted her legs and Santana's gaze fell between them, focused on what was on display for her as a flush rose to Brittany's cheeks, her arousal growing.

She gasped into Santana's mouth when fingers brushed up against the softness of her inner thigh, sliding through her wetness and then she was inside of her all at once, not giving Brittany much of a chance to adjust as she pumped into her hard. Brittany closed her eyes, sighing in relief and arousal. Nothing would ever replace this feeling for her.

It was rough and fast, more so than ever before but it was what they both needed and she was on the brink of orgasm before she knew it, her lips parted as Santana continued moving at the same intense pace. She reached up to touch the girl's cheek, trying to gaze into unreadable dark brown eyes but Santana looked away from her as she always did with an impassive expression that Brittany knew she had trained herself to maintain whenever they made love.

She still wouldn't look Brittany in the eyes.

Yet despite her outer façade, every so often that mask would slip and Brittany caught a glimpse of yearning, of love in those dark eyes. Every so often Santana wouldn't be able to stop herself from moaning Brittany's name desperately in the heat of the moment. Those were the moments Brittany memorized.

"You don't need anyone else. Tell me you're mine. Say it." Santana growled possessively into the delicate skin of Brittany's neck as she palmed her breasts. She bit down on her skin in between her neck and shoulder, hard enough that Brittany knew there would be a mark there the next day. She understood; this was Santana's way of claiming her and secretly, it gave her such a thrill.

"I'm yours." Brittany shuddered, her chest heaving as heat rose to her face. Santana smirked, clearly pleased by this response and gave Brittany the pleasure she was seeking.

"This," Santana curled her fingers a little too sharply but it all felt so good to Brittany as she emphasized her point. Brittany felt herself clenching, her wetness increasing as that delicious pressure in her core continued to build as she wailed. "Is mine."

Brittany arched into her touch and hearing Santana say all that in a low voice was all she needed to come undone. She grabbed Santana's neck, moaning for all she was worth and pleading, wrapping her legs around the girl's waist as she clung to her shoulders. Santana kissed her deeply through it, stroking her blonde hair. The Latina had always loved how her fair hair looked fanned out against her black silk sheets when they did this.

"Oh, oh, Santana!"

Santana wasn't finished with her when they were done. She took her in every way possible that night, allowing Brittany to touch her in return finally and giving in to that comfort that only came from being in the blonde's arms.

When they were both exhausted and sated, Brittany looked at her in confusion as Santana moved closer to slide an arm around her waist as if she couldn't help it. This kind of affection was usually something Santana was terrified of when they were intimate together. It was rare that the Latina would allow them to cuddle or hold each other in such a romantic way.

"Santana?" She whispered curiously into the darkness, stroking the girl's shoulder with the pad of her thumb.

Brittany wanted her to say anything. She wanted her to say she'd date her now, that she didn't care about the consequences and that everything had changed. She wanted Santana to be ready for her.

Instead, Santana's expression hardened, her brows drawing together. She frowned, noticing the position their bodies were in and made a point of letting go of the girl as she put space between them.

Brittany couldn't hide her disappointed sigh and the way her face instantly fell as her lover shifted beside her. A tense silence filled the room. Santana wasn't in the same devastated state as she had been earlier but Brittany felt like she was so far away from her, even though they were almost as close as they physically could be. Santana grumbled as she lay naked under the sheets, still avoiding her eyes as Brittany eventually got out of bed and redressed when the girl made it clear that she wouldn't talk to her.

"Where are you going?" She asked Brittany, a whiny note entering her voice.

"Santana, stop." Brittany mumbled as the girl grabbed at her.

The blonde glanced at her phone, wincing when she noticed several missed calls from her boyfriend. Santana's expression darkened, as if sensing what Brittany was thinking about. If looks could kill, Brittany knew her phone would have been obliterated by the way Santana was staring at it. She moved closer to Brittany, fingertips trailing up along her waist under her shirt as if she wanted to distract her from what she was reading and making the blonde shiver.

"You don't need him."

"Why?" Brittany questioned, tilting her head to the side as she tried to get something more out of the girl.

Santana didn't seem to know how to reply to this, focusing on the sheet she was clenching in her hand and anything other than Brittany's eyes.

"I- I just…" Santana took a deep breath, swallowing hard and seemed to think over her words a few more times before she finally answered. "You have me. Don't go back to him."

Brittany shook her head sadly. Santana hung her head, her lips pressed together, both of them knowing what the blonde's next words would be because they had been through this same cycle so many times before.

I can't promise you that.