Peter Parker

I don't know how long we've been fighting for. I don't have much in the way of firsthand memories between meeting defeating Kraven and getting back into the fray. Even to this very day, all I remember is bits and pieces. I remembered jumping between Frictor and a mob that was converging on him. I remembered tackling a gunman while Ursa, in his bear form, mauled another – and sinking my fangs into him, force-feeding him in a dose of venom. I remembered tossing a vehicle at another, barely missing the gunmen that were taking cover. I think the last thing I remembered was Tarantula and Frenzy holding me back as Shadowcat treated Calypso's gunshot wound. Something told me that I wanted to make sure that Calypso didn't live past that day. I think I blacked out during those times. I didn't even remember webbing down all of the guards. When I was back to my senses, I found myself kneeling down on one knee, trying to fix my breathing. I touched my face with one hand. The fangs were gone, as well as my six extra eyes. My skin felt normal. I looked over my shoulder. My spider-limbs were no longer there. It was at this point that a hand ended up on my shoulder. I looked up to see Frictor. He had his helmet off, but the bottom of his face was still covered.

"Hey," he said. "Are you back to normal?"

"…I think so," I said. Slowly, I stood up. "…The Jackal wasn't here."

Frictor made a sound of acknowledgment as he removed his hand. "Something tells me that The Jackal ain't the type of dude who likes to get his hands dirty out in the field." He looked out towards the distance where Kraven was still cocooned. "At least we took this guy down. You think Hammer will take the hint and just stick to running his company?"

I scoffed. "He doesn't exactly strike me as the type who learns." I smiled wryly. "At least we know a little bit about what we have to deal with the in future."

I looked at the others. Frenzy stood watch with her grenade launcher ready. Ursa Major was sitting on the ground with his back against a damaged SUV. Shadowcat and Tarantula were moving about, picking up the pieces of my suit that was broken off during my fight with Kraven. My lips stretched into something that wasn't quite a smile. The novelty of payback wore off real quick. I was just exhausted. I wanted to go home and just sleep. I was going to need a break after this.

After Shadowcat and Tarantula were done, Shadowcat called in Razorback. Some minutes later, Razorback arrived. The whole group piled in, Ursa Major included. Frictor took the front passenger seat while Scorpion and Shadowcat rode in the back with the rest of us. I was a bit glad for it. Between Tarantula, Ursa Major, and Frenzy, there was only just enough room for Shadowcat, Scorpion, and I to sit comfortably.

"A little extravagant, no?" Ursa commented as he looked around.

"Blame Frictor up there," Shadowcat said. "He wanted to ride in style."

"I wanted to ride in something armored," Frictor said from up front. "It ain't my fault the one armored vehicle we found is also extra luxurious."

"Yeah, well, don't expect this vehicle to be for your personal ride when we have it brought stateside. This is going straight to the bunker."

"Wouldn't have it any other way, I assure you."

Shadowcat smirked. She then looked straight across at me. "So, Spider-Man… I have questions. Well, just one – when were you able to turn into a were-spider?"

"…Today," I said.

Shadowcat narrowed her eyes at me. "Don't lie to me, Spidey."

"I'm not. It's just… it's a long story."

"It's a long drive, Little Arachnid," Scorpion spoke up.

I frowned. "It's just…" I paused for a moment. I then swallowed. "…The way I got my powers ended up putting me in the hospital. While I was in the hospital, I was going in and out of consciousness. Each time I was out, I was having fever dreams of this spider the size of a bus that was just staring me down. I thought it was just my subconscious telling me I was transforming, because on the last day, the spider told me it had plans for me. Fast forward to when I was captured and my powers were stripped. While I was sleeping for the sake of keeping myself from panicking, that same spider visited me… but it was in the form of a woman. After a conversation about my potentional, she said to call out her name at the right time. And then… I called out her name when Kraven had me to dead to rights."

"Who is this woman you're talking about?" Shadowcat asked.

"She calls herself Eros. Apparently, she's a servant to a higher power." I frowned. "…She was right. I'm knee deep in the supernatural bullshit."

Shadowcat nodded slowly. "…Well, I'm grateful for that form, considering what happened tonight. But, you were a bit out of control. I don't know if you understand this, but you were close to killing Calypso. So, because of that, I'm forbidding you from using that form until we can fully understand it."

I wanted to argue with her on that, but I had no argument to make. Yeah, the form did help me out against Kraven. But at that moment, I couldn't even remember most of stuff I did during the rest of the fight. Plus, I wasn't really sure how I felt about the form in and of itself. I couldn't tell what I looked like in that form, but something told me I was looking something monstrous. With all that in mind, I merely nodded.

"Understood."

Shadowcat smiled slightly. "Good. You did great otherwise, though. I hope you understand that."

That actually got a smile out of me. I was then slightly startled when Frenzy ruffled my hair with her hand. I looked up at her. She looked at me. Even though she had that mask on, I had feeling she was smiling at me. I smiled back at her.

We made it back to Singapore without incident. Once we got back to the airfield and the hangar, we went about moving the supplies we brought with us out of the Prombon and into the X-Velocity.

"We'll keep the Prombon here in the airfield," Shadowcat said. "We'll get it picked up in a few days." She then turned towards Ursa. "You… you can come back with us, or we can drop you off wherever you want to go. Just know, though, that if you do come to New York with us, you'll have an offer to join the X-Men coming your way soon. But, more importantly, we can set up in a safe house for a while until you're back on your feet."

"A lot more than I could ask for, given the circumstances," Ursa replied.

"How'd you even end up Madripoor in the first place?" Frenzy asked as she removed her mask.

"I used to be a part of The People's Protectorate… basically the Russian version of The Avengers. It was really Putin's play to show the world that Russia was on par with the U.S. I didn't mind it though. I liked playing hero. Much like the Avengers, we would operate across the world. However, we started to become rather disillusioned with Vladimir. Over time, it seemed like our missions became less about helping people and more about silencing those he deemed a threat to his image and rule. One day, however, Putin wanted us to take on a mission. He wanted us to cause a disturbance in Ukraine so some of his operatives could carry out an assassination on Volodymyr Zelenskyy. We refused. Some people, like myself, would rather not see the second coming of The USSR. He said he understood. However, his… understanding… was less than genuine. Some of us disappeared. Others died in a rash of plane crashes. I was… lucky. I was imprisoned in the Seventh Circle. I spent many years there until there was a prison riot and breakout. I slipped out and escaped in the madness. I spent years on the run until I caught the attention of the U.S. Government. I was captured and imprisoned in The Raft for a long while before I was brought here for experimentation. And now… I'm here."

"That's crazy, homie!" Frictor commented. He then tilted his head. "Are you a mutant like… most of us?"

"Yes. As you saw, I turn into a grizzly bear. In that form, I have super strength, senses, durability, and stamina, along with the abilities one would expect grizzlies to have. Unfortunately, I can only stay in that form for so long. The longer I stay in that form, the more I become feral and the more I lose my intelligence – I'd be a danger to friend and foe alike."

"Glad I never met you in the woods back in Arkansas," Razorback quipped, causing Ursa Major to chuckle in amusement.

"Okay, as much as I'm enjoying this conversation, I think we all need to get going before we're found again," Shadowcat said. "So, let's go."

We were back in New York some hours later. It was early in the morning. The sun wasn't even close to rising yet. As much as I wanted to go home, I couldn't – not quite yet. I had to gather pieces of my suit and store them. I had to repair the Black Dahlia suit, but that was something I was going to do another time. I stuck around and helped the others put what we brought on the trip away. After that was done, we all went our separate ways. Craig and Carmilla took Mikhail with them to the safe house in Yonkers. The rest of us went straight to our respective homes, with Joanna dropping me off.

When I stepped through the door of my apartment, I was ready to just collapse. I dropped all of my bags on the ground and closed the door. After I locked the door, I walked up to the bed. I didn't even want to take my clothes off. I just wanted to fall into bed and take a first class ticket to dreamland. However, as tired as I was, I wasn't tired enough to not notice the folded up piece of paper that was on my bed. I narrowed my eyes. I picked it up and opened it. It took me a moment to recognize MJ's handwriting.

I took a seat on the bed and started to read it.

IHey Loser.

I don't know when you'll read this. But, if you are reading this, I hope it means you took care of Kraven. I know I said I'd wait until you get done with that whole situation before I do the merge. And I wanted to. Unfortunately, something came up. The universe inside of me is starting to disappear little by little and it was only a matter of time before it disappears completely, along with Mirror MJ, most likely. So, before I do the merge, I'm writing this letter to give you a heads up for both the merge itself and the worst case scenario.

I don't know what the new me will be like. I don't know if she'll want to be together with you when it's all said and done. I hope that's not the case, but if it is, I want you to know I enjoyed the time we had together and I have no regrets. You've been a great boyfriend and a great friend, and I'll cherish every memory we have together. I'm sorry things ended up this way. Even now, it hurts me to think about it. Just do me a favor. Keep your head up for me. I don't want you to become withdrawn like you did before. You still have people who care about you, and I want you to always remember that.

Love you always,

MJ/i

I sat there, looking at the letter. I didn't move for a good minute. At that moment, I just felt numb. A part of me wanted to be hopeful. After all, I haven't seen MJ since before the trip. Maybe she decided to stay with me. Another part of me just felt defeated. Once again, I was blaming myself. The events leading up to The Spell played in my head. Once again, I was thinking about every decision I made leading up to that point. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

This was my all my fault.

I set the letter aside and just lay on the bed. I closed my eyes. It didn't take long for me to go to sleep. But that was only because I was extremely exhausted.

I woke up early the next morning. I was in zombie mode. I didn't much sleep, or even good sleep for that matter. I was still in the same clothes from yesterday. Slowly, I got up from my bed and walked over to the fridge. I opened the fridge and looked inside of it. After a few moments, I reached in and grabbed a can of Celsius and a can of Cocaine. I walked back to my bed and sat down. I set the can of Celsius aside and cracked open the can of Cocaine. Just as I was taking a sip, my phone rang. I reached over for it and took it off the charging pad and looked at the screen.

It was MJ who was calling.

A part of me didn't want to pick up. I was afraid of how the conversation was going to go. I answered anyway as I stood up. I would have only been delaying the inevitable if I didn't.

"Hey MJ," I greeted.

"Hi Peter," she greeted back. "…You sound tired."

"That's because I am. I didn't get home until well past midnight." I started to pace back and forth. I grimaced – that was when I felt the aches and pains from the fight. "I'm still a bit sore."

"I take it you didn't get a chance to relax much in Singapore, huh?"

"No, not really. Unfortunately, I had more fun in Palm Springs than I did on this trip. But, the hotel was nice, I guess." I chuckled, causing her to do the same.

"But, seriously, are you okay? Were you able to do what you had to do?"

"Well, I am okay…ish. As for what I wanted to do…" I scoffed. "Well, I handled the guy stealing my identity and I got my brother back. But, unfortunately, one of the people we wanted to see didn't show up. I guess I should've expected that. Still, it's disappointing." I shrugged out of habit, cringing when I felt the ache. "But, two out of three isn't bad. We even made a new friend."

"That's good. I hated seeing that guy running around with your clothes on."

I smiled. "Ditto, Em." I then frowned as I came a stop. As much as I didn't want to, I wanted to address the elephant in the room. So, I sat back down on my bed and took a long swig out of my can. "…Em… I read your letter."

She didn't say anything at first. The pause was long enough to make me wonder if the call dropped.

"…Yeah… I was wondering if you did," MJ finally said. She then sighed. I steeled myself as much as I could. I had a feeling what she was going to tell me was going to hurt. "…Peter… I hate what I'm about to say. I even hate the fact that I'm doing this over the phone. You deserve for this conversation to happen face to face, but… it would only make things harder for me. Peter… right now, I'm dealing with memories from my pre-Spell self. I'm also dealing with memories from my time in that mini-universe. And, right now, I'm dealing with a lot of emotions. And a lot of that is resentment. You do know why, right?"

"I do," I said quietly.

"I just need a break from a lot of things, Peter. And that includes our relationship. I don't want to do that. I really don't. But… I don't think I can do this right now."

I didn't say anything at first. I just swallowed. I want to argue. I wanted to beg. But… I loved MJ too much. I wanted what was best for her. And if that meant she was better off without me, then...

"…I understand." I took in a breath. "…If that's what you need to do, then that's what you need to do." I paused. "…For what it's worth, I'm sorry… for everything. I didn't mean for you to go through all of this. I… I love you MJ. That'll never change. But, as much as I want you to reconsider, I want more for you to do what you need to do for your own wellbeing." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wanted to cry. I refused to do so – not while she was on the phone.

"…I love you, too, Peter. …Thank you for understanding… and thank you for everything. But remember what I said. Keep your head up for me."

I swallowed yet another lump in my throat. "I'll do my best."

"I guess that's all I can ask for." MJ paused. "Are you okay?"

It was at this point that I felt compelled to make a joke. "I will be. Bouncing back is kind of my thing, being arachnid-like and all."

She chuckled, a bit to my delight. "I hate you so much."

I scoffed. "You love me."

"…Always."

"…Ditto."

I heard her take a breath. "So, the rest of the day is going to suck so… I'm just going to hang up now and… probably have a nice long cry."

I laughed bitterly. "Likewise, Em."

"Well… let's let ourselves get to that then. …You have a good one, Loser."

"You, too, Em." I swallowed. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

The phone call ended right there. I set the phone off to the side.

"This is going to be a long day," I said to myself.

I basically forced myself to get ready and step out of the house. With a lot of effort, I was able to hold it together for a while. I went through school without an issue. When most of the others called to check up on me, I didn't shed a tear. I even made it through a good chunk of my shift at work without crying. But then Betty placed a hand on my shoulder when I was sitting at a desk. I looked up at her glumly. She gave me a sympathetic and knowing smile. I didn't say anything to her. I just stood up. She led me to the elevator.

As I figured she would, Betty took me down to the basement. It was just her and I there, as per usual. I felt no pressure to keep up the front. So when Betty stepped up to me, kissed me on the cheek, and pulled me into a hug, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let the tears flow as I sobbed into her shoulder. I don't know how long I was crying for. It felt like an eternity, to be honest. I was that hurt over it all. Betty didn't budge, though. She stood there, holding me as she slowly moved one hand up and down my back. After a long while, I was finally cried out. I sniffled as I slowly pulled away. I looked at Betty, who gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Am I a bad person, Betty?" I asked.

"No, Peter, you're not," she replied.

"Then why do I feel like this is my fault?"

"No one's at fault here. Things happened that were beyond everyone's control."

I shook my head. "But I could've –"

"It's easy to say 'I could've done this or that' after the fact." Betty brought her right hand up and wiped away my tears with her thumb.

"Do you think this is the end between MJ and I?"

"For now, yes." Her smiled became a bit wider. "But maybe the story between the two of you is not over just yet. Just… give it time and see. And don't just beat up over it. Okay?" I nodded. "Now come on, let's go. I'll treat you to a coffee and a muffin from the food cart up front."

I smiled. "I'd like that."

Later on, at night, I was standing on top of the Empire State Building, looking out towards the city. I was feeling numb again. I guess I was slowly making peace with MJ and I breaking up. No, that was a lie. I was trying my very best not to focus on it. No matter what I told myself about needing to patrol, I was only out and about to distract myself. That was also the reason I was wearing my red and blue suit.

That was also probably the reason I didn't even start repairing my Black Dahlia Armor yet.

For a rare moment in my life, I was relieved when I heard the sound of sirens out in the distance. After taking a breath, I stepped off of the ledge and went into a freefall. As I descended, I closed my eyes. I let my senses take over. After several seconds, I opened my eyes and brought my right hand out. I shot a strand of webbing towards a nearby building and started swinging towards the direction of the sirens.

Life as Peter Parker might suck for now, but life as Spider-Man must go on.