Michelle "MJ" Jones

When the phone call ended, there was a part of me that wanted to call Peter back. There was a part of me that wanted to tell him that I was just being foolish and that I wanted to keep the relationship of ours going. I was even hoping that he would call back and try to talk me out of my decision. None of that happened. Instead, it was just me, sitting on my bed, hugging my pillow to my chest as tears rolled down my face. After some minutes, I took in a breath and wiped my eyes with my forearm. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't sit there and cry all day about it. I had things to do.

Getting through school was rather easy, much to my surprise. With me staying focused on the lessons and school work, I was able to keep my mind off of Peter. Even when I ate lunch with Ned, I was able to keep it together. I guess it helped that he didn't ask about what happened between me and Peter. I could tell he wanted to. I figured he could tell that was I pretty upset, because of course the dork became one of the few people who can see right through me whenever I tried to put up a front, something I secretly appreciated.

It got a lot harder after school, though. During my shift at Peter Pan, things felt a bit odd. I then realized why. Peter didn't show up for his usual coffee and pastry. He didn't show up at all. I realized it as I was wiping down a table, using the cloth to take care of a rather stubborn coffee stain. From that point on, the rest of the shift became nearly unbearable. Some of the customers that came in were rather rude and nasty. There was a Karen who wanted us to honor a deal the place had that expired weeks ago. There was a guy who was looking way older than me who was trying to get my number, only to call me a bitch when I said no. He stormed off afterwards. It was probably for the best – that hot coffee in my hand was about to get toss into his face. Then there was just a whole bunch of people were snippy with me for no reason. I was almost at my wit's end when, once again, my boss got on me for not doing a task that was the responsibility of one of my coworkers. Normally, I'd have the patience for such a day. But I was just not in the mood to deal with all of that for much longer. So, I clocked out about thirty minutes early. I told my boss that I was going through a heavy flow. The look of disgust on his face almost made going through this shift worth it.

Almost.

Things got a bit easier when I was training with Colleen Wing. I was able to focus on learning some new moves while also blowing off some steam. When I got home, I went straight to my room and threw myself at my studies. That was all I did before I went to bed. That was when the urge to cry became too much to overcome. As I hugged one of my pillows and lay on my side, I cried quietly to myself until I fell asleep. The next morning, as I lay in bed, I scrolled through Twitter. It wasn't long until I saw the headline about Spider-Man, along with Tarantula, saving people out of a burning building. I smiled slightly when I saw the headline. That was one of the things I admired about Peter – no matter how bad things got, he'll always be Spider-Man. I sighed before I put the phone to the side.

That was pretty much how the rest of my week went. What made things even worse was that the American Idiots group chat was quiet. That right there told me that the rest of the American Idiots knew that Peter and I broke up. The chat was always quiet whenever there was a problem amongst ourselves. I still kept tabs on the others, but I just knew everyone was trying to avoid opening up a can of worms. When I had to check up on Peter, I would send a text to Ned, Betty, Kitty, or Craig rather than contact him directly. I wasn't at the point where I ready to be on speaking terms with Peter. A part of me was telling me I might as well try and talk to him since I obviously still care about him. Another part of me was telling me not to. I said I needed a break, so I needed to take one. Was I being stubborn or was I just being willful? I was thinking I was being the latter.

As I went about my week, I started to slowly become firm in my decision. I still missed Peter. I probably always will until I was ready to actually talk to him. My intent to hold to that was actually tested one night when I actually got a call from him. I looked down at the phone as it vibrated on my desk in my room. I moved my hand towards the device, ready to answer it. I paused for a moment, then withdrew my hand. Eventually, the phone stopped vibrating and the screen went black. I continued to the watch the phone for a couple of minutes. Partly it was because I was tempted to call Peter back, but it was mostly it was because I waiting for a notification of a text or a voicemail. I got neither one. Somehow, I was both relieved and disappointed at the same time. After taking a breath, I decided to consider it a win as I went back to studying.

The next day, I got a call from Joanna. I was a bit surprised. While I considered Joanna a friend, I wouldn't say we were super close. Come to think of it, I was a lot closer to Scott than I was to her. When I answered the phone, I was expecting the worst. I was afraid that something happened that would have had me in hiding again. But, that wasn't the case. She just wanted to hang out on Coney Island Beach.

At night.

That was pretty unexpected, but it wasn't unusual to me. So, I took her up on her offer.

So, later on, that night, Joanna and I were sitting on a towel at the beach, looking out towards the water.

"I'm surprised you wanted to hang out with me," I said as I took the bottle of Coke that Joanna handed to me.

"I didn't want to stay at the house alone," Joanna replied. I looked at her as she twisted the cap off of her bottle and took a sip. "I just felt like hanging out with someone. Most of the others were busy. Buford is helping out on a case. Kitty's trying to get a lead on where The Jackal could be. I don't have Kaine's number and he doesn't seem like a social butterfly. And Craig and Peter are in the Port of New York and New Jersey – one of Craig's informants gave him word about a ship containing a lot of fentanyl. So, I called you up to see if you wanted to kick it."

I scoffed as I looked ahead. "I'm glad I'm high up on your list of wing… persons." I twisted open my bottle and took a sip of the sweet drink.

Joanna chuckled. "If it makes you feel any better, you're still ahead of Ned and Betty."

I smiled. "It does… a little." My smile faded a bit. "So how're you and Scott doing?"

"We'll be better when I go see him in Europe."

I looked at her again. "You two are having a getaway?" I asked.

She chuckled bitterly. "I wish," she replied. "Don't get me wrong, he is going to make his absence up to me when I get there. I'm going to make sure of that." I got a little warm in the face. With memories of the whole American Idiots crew overhearing Scott and Joanna after we tried to have a movie at the X-Men's apartment after Flash's after party, I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for those who were in the hotel rooms next to theirs. "But it's mostly business. Scott needs some back up in case things go south." She looked at me. "…Something got his intuition on high alert."

I raised an eyebrow. "Did he tell you what it was?"

"…He did. And I'm hoping he's wrong."

"Why's that?"

"If he's right, then we'll have a huge headache on our hands." She sighed. "…You know, I'm looking forward to the day where I can just sit back, relax, and retire from all of this."

I nodded. "I could imagine."

"So what's been new with you?"

I shrugged. "I'm just trying to adjust."

"…Does this adjustment have to do with Peter?"

I sighed. "I see you heard the news." I guess I should've known that word would've gotten around to the adults.

"Yeah, I did. How're you holding up?"

"Like I said, I'm just trying to adjust. My head's a whole mess as I'm trying to deal with having new… old memories. And with those memories come conflicting feelings that I can't properly deal with if I'm with Peter. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to break up with him. But, there's so much resentment I have towards him that, in all honesty, trying to push through that while we were together just wouldn't be good for either one of us."

"…You two could have just gone on a break," Joanna pointed out. I scoffed as I stood up and walked away a few steps. "Damn, was it something I said?"

I turned back to her as I sneered. "A relationship break is bullshit," I declared. "It's straight up bullshit. You put a relationship on pause, and what happens? Well, it's either one of two things. A, you end up in this romantic purgatory. You're expected to stay faithful while you're romantically neglected. Or B, you and your significant other are in this romantic grey area that's hard to navigate because what is and what is not okay becomes confusing. Can I be mad if the one I'm with is having a dinner and movie date with another person? Can the one I'm with be mad if I decided to take someone home with me? No matter what route you take, you put yourself through that. For what? For the hope that the relationship resumes at some point? If that's the case, what was even the point of breaking up in the first place?" I shook my head. "Maybe for some people that could work. But I don't do breaks. A relationship break is just a break up on delay." I closed my eyes and took in a breath. After I huffed out the air in my lungs, I opened eyes and looked at Joanna. I frowned. "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"You're venting because you're frustrated," Joanna said. "I get it."

"What do you think about all of this?" I walked back over as I asked this.

Joanna shrugged as I sat down. "I don't know what to say about it, to be honest."

I frowned. "Not even one thing?"

"Kid, here's something you need to understand. Prior to Scott, I never had a steady before. And prior to him, I only made one real attempt at a romantic, exclusive relationship, and that went south real quick. Beyond that, I've only ever been with a guy for sex. One of us would show up, we get our rocks off, and then one of us takes a trip back home. Maybe staying overnight was in the cards, but that was a maybe. The point I'm trying to make is that I'm not the best person to ask." She looked out towards the water. "…I guess…" She paused for a moment. She then looked back at me. "…I think this is where that old quote applies. The one that says 'if you love something, let it go…'"

"'…If it comes back it was meant to be, if it doesn't it never was'," I finished. At that moment, I was reminded of my folks. When they separated and the divorce process was getting nasty, I had no illusions about a Disney movie ending for the two of them. I was sure there was no way they'd get back together. As much as I hated it, I was doing my very best to come to grips with the fact that my father wasn't going to be at home with me anymore. But, they decided to work things out. Of course, it took me getting dusted – as well as each of my parents' respective attorneys – for them have a chance to eventually work things out. Maybe that was what I needed to do. Maybe I needed to let go and leave it to the universe for a bit. "Maybe you're right."

"I sometimes am."

I looked over at Joanna and smiled. I then looked out towards the see. Without saying a word, I leaned against her. Quietly, she put an arm around me. We spent the next hour or so just sitting there, looking out towards the sea.

When I got home, I went straight to my room. I was about to go to bed before my eyes landed on the Death Star that Peter, Ned, and I built together. I walked over to it and picked it up. I looked it over in my hands. I was reminded of the night of the St. James incident, when Peter, Ned, and I rode the subway to meet Betty at that theatre. I set the Death Star down. I then sat at my desk and grabbed a sketchbook and a pencil. After opening up to a certain page, I pulled out my phone and went through the playlists I had. When I found the one I was looking for, I let it play before I started to put pencil to paper, beginning to finish the drawing.

I spent about two hours finishing the drawing. I was mostly adding details and proper shading. I was leaning a bit on the feelings I had about the night the American Idiots became a thing. All the while, I was filled with many emotions. There was sadness. There was joy. There was anger. There was delight. There was scorn. There was understanding. There was despair.

There was hope.

Eventually, I put the pencil down. It was a drawing of me and Peter sitting in this abandoned café that wouldn't look out of place in a Fallout game. Peter was dressed in his Spider-Man suit, which was tattered and torn in several places. I was dressed in a jeans and jacket. My clothes looked rather worn and my hair was a mess. Still, we were setting at a table, having coffee with as we stared at each other with ambiguous expressions that I couldn't quite read. I smiled slightly before I closed the sketchbook. I leaned back in my seat, tilted my head back, and closed my eyes. All the while, the lyrics from the song played.

"And you know the rain won't last forever

And you know the storm won't always flow

But if the sun don't shine forever

You gotta let it go…"

THE END

The X-Men and The American Idiots will return