It's almost funny how discipline and structure with several years of practice has on the mind of a broken-hearted person in denial. She eased back into her role as a mother and captain the following Monday. Her boundaries were straight and clear. Although Rusty had gained insight to the emotional side of Sharon Raydor, she was still his mother, his protector, and his source of strength as a teenager and witness. He had already seen too much and felt the physical pain of his birth mother's unhealthy, toxic relationships. Sharon Raydor sought the deepest part of her inner strength, to pull herself together until her emotional pain subsided. Fake it till you make it, right?

"Captain?"

The title that she clung to as she questioned her own identity hung in silence. How could she continue to command this division when she couldn't focus. All she could think about was how to not think about it. All the memories they had made. Each one placed a whole new meaning to the word "love", and the last memory changed the definition once more. It was all consuming and pained her heart every time she tried to not think about it.

"Uh huh… Captain?" Lieutenant Provenza tried to pull his commanding officer out of her daze.

She was quick to get on track. Completely playing it off by focusing on the next question in the investigation, she tasked her second in command to follow up on their most recent lead in the investigation, "...and when Mr. Marshall arrives, let me know."

Sharon played her role so well that even the squad of elite detectives failed to notice her inner turmoil. This is the way it's supposed to be, she thought. Only she wanted to talk about it with someone, anyone. She could call her dear friend Andrea after work. A girl's night is just what she needed. But really, the only person she wanted to talk to sat a few feet away from her office. She longed to talk to him, to know what went wrong.

Provenza had many years on the job. Nothing could prepare him for the fact that his enemy would become his frenemy who would become his friend. He knew something was off. It was no one else's business to question the personal life of Sharon, it wasn't even his business really, but he was concerned. As the Captain turned to walk towards her office, Provenza gave a communicative look to Andy Flynn. A look that reflected the question, what's up with her?

Andy gave him a stare that practically alerted his partner to mind his own business. The older lieutenant glared at him.

As Sharon walked past him, he wanted to reach for her. To assure her and comfort her. He wanted so badly to tell her the truth. What he wouldn't give to be able to hold her right now and inhale the smell of her perfume from her neck just one more time. Instead, she smiled as she brushed past him, and he watched her walk into her office and closed the door quietly behind her. This was just the beginning to the end, he thought. It's definitely going to get much, much worse from here.

—-

2 days before the breakup

Andy's phone vibrated from the incoming call. He didn't recognize the number.

Sharon sat next to him at the dining table. A cup of fresh coffee steamed up her glasses as she took a sip. "Are you going to answer that?"

He was enjoying her company and didn't want to ruin it. "If it's important they'll leave a voicemail." With that, he declined the call.

"So…" She spoke slow and softly. "I've given our discussion some thought, and I think it makes sense for you to move in."

"Oh yeah?" He couldn't help but smile. Finally, he thought. After Andy's sly comment to Chief Taylor about their relationship moving slow, they both considered the next steps. Sharon had confronted him about his feelings behind his statement. He wanted to be with her as much as possible, as close as possible. Andy pleaded his case to her about wanting to move in together. He didn't care if they moved into his place, her place, or bought a new house altogether. "You want me to move into your condo?" His smile as big as ever. "I don't know. I'll have to think on it." He tried to tease her.

"Andrew Flynn, don't make me beg." She peered at him over the rim of her coffee cup as she took another sip. The corners of her mouth curved upward as a smile began to form.

"But I love it when you do." He placed his hand on the table to which she so willingly took hold of. They instinctively moved in to kiss as if sealing the deal.

"Ugh." Rusty scuffed at the two sharing affection. He had yet to bond with the man that his mother so dearly loved. Although Flynn and Provenza were close friends, they did not share the same relationship with Rusty Beck. Where the grumpy older man mentored Rusty, showed him patience, and gave him stern guidance, lieutenant Flynn saw the young adult as a selfish person. Even after graduating high school and going to college, Rusty still lacked accountability and had a pattern of endangering others. This put a strain on the two as Andy and Sharon's relationship progressed. "Sharon, I thought we talked about this."

Sharon's response to the young man surprised Andy. "I'm sorry if my actions in my own home offend you. Always remember that it could be much, much worse." She was referring to their first conversation about overnight guests. Rusty had mentioned that he never wanted to see Andy Flynn in a robe at the dining table to which Sharon replied that it was always a possibility. The implications scarred his mind.

Rusty squeezed his eyes shut and scrunched his nose. "Ok, ok. Fair. I'll leave you two to it then." He moved swiftly giving Sharon a side hug and raced out the door to get to his morning class.

There was a brief silence after the front door was shut. Andy looked down at his watch. Thirty minutes before we have to leave. Still holding Sharon's hand, he leaned in closer to her. "How much worse could it get?" He asked in a low tone, insinuating that he wanted a play by play.

She decided to be playful back. Looking at her own watch, she noticed the time they had left before needing to leave. Sharon directed her attention back up at Andy. He was really close now. The smell of his cologne almost enticing her to go back to bed with him. She tugged on his tie a little bit. She could see the effect it had on him. His breath hitched, his smile faded, and his mouth was agape. Sharon leaned in so close that their lips almost touched. Andy swallowed wanting so badly to kiss her. She spoke to him, her eyes moving from his gaze to his lips and back. "Well, I can show you better than I could tell you." He thought so surely that she was going to take him up on the offer. Sharon released his tie and leaned back in her chair. "Unfortunately, we don't have enough time this morning for the plans I have." With that, she gently patted his hand twice, and moved towards the sink with her empty coffee cup in hand.

Andy was stuck in his daze. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He stood up and adjusted himself, so his trousers weren't pulling towards the evidence of his affection for Sharon Raydor. Andy followed her to the sink while avoiding eye contact. He moved one hand up to meet her waist while the other hung loosely had his side. He placed sweet, delicate kiss on the side of her head, and whispered in her ear. "Oh, woman the things you do to me."

She giggled as she rinsed the dishes, and he kissed her once more on the side of her head.

This is going to be fun, she thought.

–Later that morning–

Andy looked at his phone as it rung for the fourth time that day. The unknown caller started to agitate him as no voicemail was ever recorded. He did not want to answer in case it was a telemarketer. With his phone being so new, he received those kinds of calls often. Something about this caller still felt strange. To appease his concern, Andy texted the number that had repeatedly called him that morning.

Andy Flynn: Who is this? Why do you keep calling me?

He waited patiently staring at the screen. After a few minutes of no reply, he put his phone away. Must be a bot or something.

"If you're done playing on your phone, we'd like to hear your input on the case." Lieutenant Provenza sarcastically called to his partner.

Andy grumbled at his attitude. "Yeah, yeah." He proceeded with his description of a follow up with a witness. The room was excited as each detective bounced around ideas and puzzle pieces to solve their case.

Captain Raydor had her arms crossed as she thought about each detail of facts that was presented to her. As the dialogue died down, she gave new instructions to Lieutenant Provenza to which he used to guide the squad on the next task at hand.

As Sharon was moving towards her office, the unknown caller texted Andy back.

Unknown: Waiting for you.

It was cryptic. What does that even mean? He thought. He didn't have time to reply before Sharon Raydor asked him to meet her in her office. Andy placed his phone in the desk drawer. It would be left there until the end of the day.

"I hope our conversation this morning isn't that thing that's distracting you," she said with a flirtatious smile.

"Which part?" He shook his head jokingly. "No, it's nothing."

She hummed. Sharon didn't necessarily believe him, but she knew he wouldn't lie to her. Eventually, he would fill her in on the details when he had all the information. She knew this was the detective in him. "I think I'm going to head out in a few hours. Rusty said he wanted to interview me for a paper he's writing for his criminal justice class."

He nodded to let her know he understood.

She continued. "When would you like to start moving your things in?"

Her sweet smile made his heart race. How did I get so lucky? "Yes, uh, I'm going to pick up a few boxes on my way home tonight and I'll pack up a few things here and there. I'll let you know how it goes tonight." Andy looked around her office and noticed all her blinds were closed. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and extended his arms to her, silently requesting a hug. She moved over to him, wrapping her arms underneath his. Andy began to softly stroke her back. He moved his nose through her hair and placed a kiss on her neck. After a minute they pulled apart.

Andy kissed her and in almost a whisper said, "I'll call you later."

With that he walked out the door.

Neither of them knew that was going to be the last time they shared a kiss before the breakup. Something that once so habitual to them, it was almost unregistered, suddenly became a routine of the past.

Thank you all for being so patient. Yes, it's been several years, and I decided to pick this story back up as I have been through heart break myself since then and have healed. I'm asking you once more to be patient again. Not for timing purposes but with the story line itself. It will get worse before it gets better. Also, a friendly reminder that this is fanfiction. If you don't like the story or the way characters are portrayed as human beings with feelings (yes, you can be strong and still be emotional with heart break), simply don't read. As the saying goes, trust the process.