Yeah, sorry about the longer than intended break (24 days). Got a little swept up in other projects.
But we are going HARD from now on. From now until about mid November, I plan to post every single remaining chapter of this arc (plus, finally, the rest of Guardian S1), before taking a Christmas break! So hopefully, this will be hype and stick the landing!
Warning: Lesbophobia, two trigger words, some comp-het, physical abuse from a parent, etc.
January 14th, Tuesday, 1998.
Dear Diary,
...Okay.
So...
Like...
Wow.
I...
Okay, look, this is gonna be SOOOO hard to explain.
I've had... I don't even know how to begin to describe it.
But I guess I have to try, no?
Wouldn't want to keep you in suspense.
Okay...
Okay, I'll try.
So, um, it all started this morning, back when I was angry, back when I didn't know what I know now.
In retrospect, I wasn't TOO bad...
'It's SOOOOOOOOO not fair!', Ashley screamed while waking up, tossing her blankets and pillows off, Ashley M waking in a start.
'SO.', Ashley stomped on the floor, as hard as a weak 9 year old girl could, which wasn't much.
'NOT.' Ashley brushed her hair intensely, biting her cheeks through the pain, then applied make up furiously, if one could do that. If one could, it would be the way Ashley did that day.
'FAIR!', Ashley kicked her closet, hurting her foot. Wincing, she bounced around, fighting tears. 'WAHH! MAJOR OUCHIE!'
Bossily pointing at her foot, Ashley cried 'Muffin! Kiss mama's foot better!'
Muffin rolled her eyes and crawled over, happy to help, but finding her human mama's behavior quite odd and not 7:30 AM of her.
'What did I do, Ashley M? Tell me! What could I have POSSIBLY done to earn such shoddy treatment? What do I look like to her, chopped liver? I heard Spinelli say that when insulted, and if she thinks that's insulting, then god, how bad must it be!', Ashley ranted while she picked her outfit, sneering at the Ashley R one. Pointing accusingly, she shouted 'You were no help, girlfriend! You were supposed to, like, make things easier! But they are TOTALLY not easy! They are hard!', Ashley shouted, accidentally kicking the closet with her other foot.
Fists clenched, whole body shaking, cheeks as red as a bleeding tomato with scarlet fever dressed up as the Kool Aid Man, Ashley A let out a primal scream. 'LIKE THIS FUCKING CLOSET!'
Ashley M let out a small sigh and got to kissing the other foot. This would be a long day.
'Whomps, whomps, whomps.', Ashley muttered as she slipped on her signature outfit, gritting her teeth.
'Whomps, whomps, whomps!', Ashley cursed as she stomped down the stairs, clomp, clomp, clomp, her siblings staring at her from downstairs in startled alarm.
Sitting at the breakfast table, Ashley slammed down, growling like a tiger who had been unfairly criticized by her spectacled owl partner instead of just working on their jungle school project.
This startled Mr. Armbruster, who was just now placing down Ashley's favorite Cereal brand, Lucky Charms ("It's number 1 in the state, and number 1 in my heart"). 'You... Okay, princess?', he asked, trying not to sound judgy or pry too much. 'Feeling a bit better?', he ventured, reminding Ashley she was supposed to be bed ridden.
'Oh, I'm just peachy!', Ashley cried out, laying in some fake coughs. 'Mood-wise! Not health-wise! I should probably go back to bed! Silly me, thinking I could go to school! SILLY ME, THINKING I COULD MAKE THIS WORK!'
Ashley's eyes were wild and she gripped the pink table cloth with her perfectly polished nails digging into the folds. Tyler muttered 'Maniac', and Brittney laughed, before hiding her face to avoid any cooties.
'...Maybe some cereal will help.', Mr. Armbruster played peacekeeper, handing it over to Ashley.
Ashley had to admit, she WAS hungry. She had no dinner last night because she was "sick" plus distracted. 'My tummy could use some yummy...', she mumbled through sleep deprived red eyes, and began shaking the box a bit into her mega sized bowl with diamonds painted on the side.
Mr. Armbruster then noticed a picture on the box. 'Here, look, there's a prize attached! A toy telescope! How generous! You like surprises!', he tried, crossing his fingers it would help.
Ashley DID love surprises usually. She had a whole shelf for cereal box toys, the cool ones, like when she got Pegasus from "Hercules" and Wai Lin from "Tomorrow Never Dies" the year before, or the cute ones, like a coloring booklet of baby animals and snazzy movie star sunglasses that didn't REALLY fit but hey, still looked sexy!
But this one pissed her off.
A telescope meant space.
Space meant science.
Science meant...
'After all the pain you've been through with these cooties, you deserve it!', Mr. Armbruster said kindly, smiling brightly at his daughter.
Ashley got the wildest grin on her face as she shoved more and more cereal onto the bowl, overflowing it. 'Oh, you know what, I did deserve it! I must have said something terrible, I ALWAYS do after all!'
'What do you mean?', Mr. Armbruster asked, confused. Ashley didn't answer. She simply stood up and stomped over to the fridge, grabbing the milk with the most fat in it (not her usual choice, this was serious), then after filling the bowl, grabbed a can of whipped cream, a tub of Neapolitan gelatin imported from Rome, M&M's, a milk chocolate bar to scrape over the cream, two strawberries, two bananas, maple syrup, chocolate syrup, a whole mess of cherries, and a Red Bull chaser.
'I forgot Purple Day, I was rude in the museum, I overreacted when we got paired up for the project.', she started calmly as she added all those things to her cereal, the bowl now a mountain of what could be described as a doctor's worst nightmare. Tyler wondered if you could become diabetic just from looking at that.
'CLEARLY, EVIDENTLY, AND OTHER DUMB STUPID STINKY WORDS GRETCHEN WOULD USE, I LIKE, TOTALLY SAID SOMETHING FREAKISH THAT UPSET HER! THAT'S OBVIOUSLY WHAT I DID! BECAUSE I'M INSANE AND CAN'T TELL WHEN I'M DOING SOMETHING, RIGHT? I'M THE CRAZY ONE HERE! I'M TOTALLYYYY LIKE SOOOOO FUCKING INSANE, RIGHT?! NO, SHE IS! I'M THE NORMAL ONE HERE!', Ashley screamed, so loud it shattered the salt shaker. Taking the bowl of insanity, she gulped it all in one bite, getting a frothy cream beard that made her look like Santa with rabies. Eyes now wild and unfocused, hands shaking like mad, Ashley chorused 'WELL COCK-A-DOODLE DOO, RING A DING DING, SLAP MY TUSHIE AND CALL ME ZING, I'M RIGHT AND SHE'S WRONG, LALALALALALALAL, PBLBLBLBLBLBLBL (she lip burbled), MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...'
Ashley then finally just fell down, unconscious from the sugar crash, lying on the floor in a crucified Jesus pose, the telescope setteled between her nose and upper lip to look like a moustache.
'...Tyler, help me take Zing back to bed here.', Mr. Armbruster instructed, and the two lifted the girl up the stairs.
Brittney simply sat and stared in stunned shock.
Oh, and Mrs. Armbruster was there too, talking on the phone.
'So table my meeting for Thursday, and... Hmm? Oh, yes, it's oddly quiet, right? I haven't heard a sound all morning! How pleasant!', Mrs. Armbruster said as she kept chatting with her secretary, her coffee growing colder and colder as she kept on stirring it aimlessly.
Waking up from her sugar coma four and a half hours later, Ashley had to then spend the next 3 hours stewing in bed, mumbling and muttering about Gretchen.
Well, mumbling and muttering is being very nice to Ashley. She was shouting about it the entire time, and with everyone else out of the house, it was left to Ashley M to listen to the whining.
There was disbelief.
'After ALL the things I've done for that girl?! I've been so nice! You know how much I hate that! The NERVE of that Gretchen! The NERVE!', Ashley ranted, trying to read one of her magazines, but she couldn't admire the fashion of all the pretty celebrity girls, Gretchen's goddamn head appeared on each one. Ashley M, reading a cat version of 17 magazine, featuring a pinup of Salem from Sabrina the Teenage witch, meowed a 'Yeah, yeah'.
There was recapping, so much recapping.
'And then, THEN, she kicked me out! Shut the door! She told me to GO AWAY! You don't tell an Ashley to go away! To be graced by a visit from an Ashley at a non-Ashley home is up there with The President, Santa Claus, ROSIE O'DONNEL!', Ashley said for what must have been the 18th time now. Ashley M, making two of her yarn balls kiss, shrugged.
There was some sad whining, to be fair.
'I really didn't do anything wrong! I thought we were... Well, not bonding, perish the thought, but like, I don't know, I guess we were sort of having fun! A 6 at least on the Ashley fun-o-scale! 10 is going to Disney World, so 6 is PRETTY dang good, ya know?', Ashley mused, writing in her diary and doodling an upset Gretchen with question marks over her. 'Huh, have I drawn her yet? Is it fair to draw her like that first? I should probably draw us at the museum first! Then I'll go back to being grumpy!', Ashley declared, distracted, and she left to get her colored pens, now that no one was around. Going down the stairs two at a time, still clad in her heart shaped PJ's, she grabbed a can of imported iced Tuna from Milano ("Muffin has such great taste!") and some ginseng Tea to soothe her nerves, plus the colored pens. Seeing no one was around, she got a little brave and naughty. At the top of her lungs, she exclaimed "Jesus, God, Ass, Boobs, Pocket Protectors!'
Sniggering, she skipped upstairs, closed the door with one foot, and placed all her things, giving Ashley M a sassy look as the kitty left her toy mouse and inspected the Tuna. 'Cursing when no one is home is ALWAYS funny. I'm a comedic genius. UNLIKE GRETCHEN.'
Ashley M rolled her eyes as she sat on a mini chair and put on a tiny bib that said "Hungry Girl".
Ashley A didn't appreciate that sass, however. 'Ashley M, do I detect a dollop of droll derision?'
'Mrow.', Ashley M replied to the positive.
'You think I'm exaggerating. You, my loyalest ally?!', Ashley grunted, frustrated.
'Mrow, mrow.', Ashley M motioned for Ashley A to calm down.
'I'M TOTALLY CALM! UNLIKE GRETCHEN! WHO'S NOT CALM! UNLIKE ME! THE CALMEST GIRL EVER! I RUN CALM CIRCLES AROUND HER! I'M SO CALM IT'S A CRIME! LOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY, BABY!', Ashley A bellowed, swiging her tea in one gulp. It didn't help, as she slammed onto the bed, kicking her feet up and down as she drew in a frenzy. 'Here, I'll show you!', she cried, Ashley M shaking her head in resignation. This oughta be good.
As soon as Ashley M finished the Tuna ("My compliments to the chef", she thought, not that Ashley needed more praise right now), she looked up in anticipation. Ashley A was of course, already in front of her, crazed look in her eyes, holding up her drawing of Gretchen and her at the museum. It was when they were learning about the solar system, Ashley in her Ashley R look, Gretchen explaining things. The two looked happy and friendly, the opposite of Ashley right now, whose eyes were twitching right now.
Ashley M cleaned her paws on her bib, removed it, placed her bowl gently next to the door, washed her face in the tiny kitty sink she had next to Ashley's vanity, checked herself in the mirror, fixed on a cute red bow for style, turned back to Ashley A, cleared her throat, and meowed what was clearly a "So?"
'SO?! SO?! LOOK! LOOK HOW NICE I WAS! HOW NICE SHE WAS! I DON'T DO MUSEUMS! I WAS HONESTLY SURE I WAS ALLERGIC TO THEM! BUT I GUESS GRETCHEN IS ALLERGIC TO EXPLAINING SHIT!', Ashley shouted, pointing at her drawing over and over.
Ashley M took a deep breath, then placed her tiny paw at Gretchen, careful not to scratch it up.
'GRETCHEN? WHAT ABOUT HER?', Ashley asked, totally befuddled. She wasn't actually sick, but the way her lip kept trembling, one would have been confused.
Ashley M calmly made a circular motion, as in to "Explain again what did she do".
'I TOLD YOU! SHE KICKED ME OUT FOR NO REASON AT ALL!'
'Why?', was the obvious meow.
'Why? Did you even listen?! No reason! She just did! I was just talking about... I don't even remember, but we were working and talking and then boom, suddenly got kicked out! Totally UNFAIR!', Ashley ranted again, crossing her arms, pouting.
'Well, maybe you should ask her.', Ashley M said, but this time, it wasn't a meow, it was in actual words.
'Silly Muffin, kitties don't talk.', Ashley A complained, only to gasp when she realized what she heard. On her belly, she scooched up on the floor to Muffin, looking right into her eyes. 'Ashley M, baby, did you just speak?'
Muffin opened her mouth, seemingly not totally herself. 'Oh, I see that I chose a bad vessel for this. Need a more obvious example to take seriously. No better than yourself!'
'...No offense, Muffin, but, like, you sound totally wack.', Ashley A said, picking up the cat. 'Time for a vet checkup, perhaps?'
Ashley M shook her head and leapt onto the bed, scared, shaking.
Ashley, forgetting about her own problem for a second, smiled sympathetically and crawled onto the bed, cuddling her cat and kissing her on the forehead. 'Aww, lil Muffin, don't be scared! It's just a vet checkup! It'll be okay! It's not gonna go wrong, And I ALWAYS know when something's wrong!'
'Do you?', the voice asked again, now not from Muffin but from behind Ashley.
Now a little scared herself, Ashley wrapped herself around in blankets. 'Did you hear that too?'
Muffin, thoroughly confused, shook her head.
'Oh, lovely. I go crazy alone now, too. No besties to go bananas with.', Ashley sighed, annoyed. 'All right, let's see what this is.'
Standing up, still wrapped up in blankets, she stepped closer to the mirror, where she could feel the voice coming from. At first, it seemed fine: It was her in the mirror after all.
Except it wasn't.
It was Ashley R.
'Ashley R? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in my clothes closet!', Ashley complained, tutting. 'You'll get all wrinkled like this! You wanna go into the dryer, when there's so much gossip to be had with my other outfits?'
'Oh, Ashley, always missing the point, always seeing things from one POV!', Ashley R giggled, affectionately shaking her head. 'What a silly girl!'
'What are you talking about? I see things from all POV's, the cool ones! Whatever that is.', Ashley countered, detesting the accusation.
Ashley R, tutting from the mirror, shook her head again. 'Ugh, no, like, use your ears, girlfriend! I'm talking about you and Gretchen!'
'We back at that?', Ashle said quite hypocritically. 'I have better things to think about then that stupid scientist!', Ashley closed her eyes, nose up in the air.
'Like what?', Ashley R grinned smugly.
That caught Ashley A out. Biting her lip, she looked around. 'Um... Eeeny, meenie, miney, moe!', she cried, pointing blindly at the item. 'A ha! Yes, I have an example!', she stuck her tongue out, confident.
'...The ceiling fan?', Ashley R asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.
'...Yes! Yes, indeed! It's the new dance move, I call it... 'The Ceiling fan'. All the hot girls do it now!', Ashley lied, spinning around with her arms out wide. 'You spin like this, and you spin a little more, and you spin again, and...'
She spun again and again and again, getting dizzy, things blurring together. 'Dang, the world looks so weird like this, like when I wore Gretchen's glasses. NOT THAT I, LIKE, THINK FONDLY BACK TO THAT MOMENT OR ANYTHING. I'M STILL ANGRY AT HER.', Ashley shouted, only to trip and fall on the floor, hurting her head.
'Owchie...', she moaned, rubbing her head. Ashley M was quick to lick her comfortingly.
'This falling down joke is getting a little tired.', Ashley muttered, slowly getting up.
'As is your denial. Ashley, you NEED to go to Gretchen! And not just because of your whole reason for doing this project.', Ashley R insisted, pointing at the door.
'Ugh, my stupid conscious. It's not MY fault I can't go and help! Gretchen got upset over nothing, talk to the hand because I'm clean! By hand, I mean Gretchen. I realize that wasn't totally obvious, so here, I'll give you a visual aid.', Ashley A explained, taking her glasses and a small wool of brownish red yarn, and placing it on her hand, made a Gretchen hand puppet. 'Here, look at me, I'm Gretchen! I'm so smart and nice and stuff, except when it comes to Ashley A, who I decided to be a jerk too! Here, watch me be a jerk. Ashley, I'm upset over nothing, but I'm going to blame you, because you're beautiful and brilliant and... and... I don't have a b word, but bperfect will do! You break the English language! That's how bperfect you are! So there! Upset over nothing!', Ashley screamed while using her hand, flopping it around like an actual Muppet.
Ashley R, not missing a beat, raised an Ashley A hand puppet, with brownish blonde yarn and a pink headband. 'Or perhaps, I, Ashley A, have forgotten that Gretchen doesn't just get upset over nothing, like yesterday, when it took a very specific insult to annoy her, when normally she just brushes it off, and we ACKNOWLEGED THAT.'
'...Okay, I'll give you a point for a VERY pretty puppet. You really captured my essence.', Ashley A confessed.
'Thank you!', Ashley R beamed.
'But regardless, that... That isn't... A good point, because...', Ashley A tripped over her words, realizing that she was actually WITHOUT a counter for once.
After all, it WAS true. She herself had said it. Gretchen was many things that Ashley did not understand, but illogical wasn't one of them. She wouldn't just get upset over nothing, would she?
'...No, wait, no, am I agreeing with you? NOOOO! I WANTED TO BE ANGRY!', Ashley lamented, punching the floor in defeat, dramatic to the end. Collapsing on the floor, she stuck a tongue out, dead. 'If ONLY a handsome prince would kiss me!'
She waited a moment, then cracked an eye open. 'Yoo hoo? Handsome prince?'
A few more moments, then she sighed and got up, dusting herself off. 'Daddy STILL hasn't convinced Justin Timberlake to come, then.'
'NSYNC?', Ashley R asked. Ashley A snapped her fingers. 'Like, yeah! Mommy says they won't make it, but I have a sneaking suspicion she's wrong. Don't tell her I said that.', she then looked scared, looking back and forth.
'Returning to the topic at hand...', Ashley R continued, making Ashley A groan in pain. 'We both agree, deep down, that Gretchen IS hurt. Now, whether or not it's our fault is debatable, but seeing as she DOES blame us, we might as well ask, no?'
'Why? Am I responsible for her wellbeing now? Put aside wanting to do the project. If anything, she should just come over and explain to me! She should be sorry for being so sensitive!', Ashley A argued, crossing her arms and pouting again, turning her back on Ashley R.
'...If it was the other way around, how would you act?', Ashley R asked simply.
Ashley A bit her lip. Crap.
'I... I would...', she tried, but she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried.
Resigned to her fate, she groaned again and leaned back. 'Oh, fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I... I would probably want Gretchen to ask me why I was so angry. I would want her to listen... Just like how she probably does. But I DID ask her!', Ashley complained, stomping her foot.
'Ask, or demand?'
'...I was a little angry, wasn't I? Clearly I hurt her a little bit. Maybe if I apologize, even if I don't know for what, she'll calm down enough to tell me. Maybe it won't even be my fault!', Ashley ventured, brightening up.
'That's not the point, though.', Ashley R reminded, and Ashley A sighed.
'I know. God, I hate this being nice crap.', she muttered darkly, but she knew she didn't have much of a choice, at least, not in her heart. Whatever the truth was, Gretchen was upset. And for whatever reason, Ashley hated that. She would just have to go and solve this annoying mystery, and hopefully fix things.
'...She really doesn't get insulted just like that. It must be at least a little serious. I didn't mean...', Ashley mumbled, feeling oddly upset. Gretchen, for all the differences, was...
A good fri...
A...
An ally, she supposed.
'And after all she's done for me, with the Ashley's, she deserves to be listened to, even if she's dead wrong.', Ashley concluded, staring at Ashley R.
'Atta girl!', Ashley R cheered, disappearing.
Ashley A shook her head, shrugging. 'This whole Gretchen business is really flipping me upside down, huh, Muffin?'
Muffin shrugged, still sort of confused, but happy Ashley seemed to be willing to fix things.
'Well, better get it over with. The faster I apologize, the faster I never have to again! Gretchen is quite lucky, she's getting an exclusive Ashley A apology!', Ashley stated, sassily smirking. 'She can place it next to her diploma.'
'Place what?'
Ashley jumped, startled by seeing someone at her window, only to remember who it was. Disappointed, she opened it, letting in...
'Menlo, how did you even get up here?', she asked with a scoff.
'Love makes a man do crazy things, like learn he can bounce real good. You going to Gretchen now? Is this still happening?', he asked, already dressed like Ashley.
Ashley raised an eyebrow, confused. 'Why so puzzled?'. He didn't know about the fight. Did Gretchen talk about it at school? That was unnecessary.
'Well, I mean, Gretchen wasn't at school today, so something MUST have happened to her.'
Ashley gasped.
'Gretchen NEVER misses school!', she stated in alarm, clasping her mouth.
'Exactly!', Menlo agreed. 'So, is everything okay?'
Ashley slowly turned away, staring at the door. '...I really hope so, Menlo.'
A few minutes later, Ashley was ready, disguised and the whole shebang. She was fully prepared now to get to the bottom of this.
Once she broke her legs walking. 'If ONLY I had my bike...', she lamented, the poor thing needing repairs. She was about to complain to, well, no one, about how her legs would hurt so badly now, about how she wanted to kill the man who invented walking, when suddenly...
BEEP BEEP!
Ashley jumped up like a frightened cat, hanging off a tree branch next to her house.
It was a car, and not just any car:
Gretchen's dad's car!
A few minutes later, Ashley was ready, disguised and the whole shebang. She was fully prepared now to get to the bottom of this.
Once she broke her legs walking. 'If ONLY I had my bike...', she lamented, the poor thing needing repairs. She was about to complain to, well, no one, about how her legs would hurt so badly now, about how she wanted to kill the man who invented walking, when suddenly...
BEEP BEEP!
Ashley jumped up like a frightened cat, hanging off a tree branch next to her house.
It was a car, and not just any car:
Gretchen's dad's car!
'Mr. Grundler?', she cried out, falling off from the branch but somehow landing okay, a bunch of leaves now kicking up and falling softly onto her, an uncertain rain. 'What are you doing here?'
'Isn't it obvious? I'm here to chauffer you to Gretchen, so you two can continue partaking in your project.', he said in a dry tone, evidently smart from how every word sounded calculated and chosen.
Ashley, still a little taken aback, stepped closer to the car. 'Did... Gretchen send you?', she couldn't help but ask.
'No, I came of my own volition.', he informed, opening the door for her. Sighing, Ashley squeezed into the backseat, used to a far bigger car. 'So much for hoping she had forgotten about it.', she mumbled, buckling up.
Mr. Grundler didn't seem to hear this, and in two seconds flat, they were off on the road, driving past the soon to be orange afternoon sky, clouds rushing past the window Ashley melancholically looked out of. Well, this wasn't SO bad. No walking, plus no conversation, so she had plenty of time to think about how to apologize to Gretchen...
'...So. I never got hold of your name.', Mr. Grundler asked, once they stopped at a traffic light.
'Dang it.', Ashley thought, cringing with squinted eyes. Opening said eyes, she tried to sell it. 'Ashley. Ashley Richter. But everyone calls me Ashley R.', she hoped she didn't sound too awkward. Or maybe that was the point, being a nerd? Sigh, this was hard, she thought.
'Huh. Like the Ashley's you seem to live with. Armbruster, right?', he asked again, not even looking back. He adjusted his mirror, every movement very accurate and precise.
'Yeah! I'm, um, Ashley A's cousin, father's side.', Ashley R continued, bracing for more questions.
'...I do their accounting. They spend exorbitante amounts of money.'
Ashley wasn't sure what that meant. Shrugging, she asked 'Oh, yes, I know what that word means! Being smart and all! But like, do you?'
Mr. Grundler let out the tiniest tut, and Ashley couldn't tell if he judged her or thought it was funny. 'It's a lot of money, Ms. Richter.', he finally said, dry as ever.
'Oh, goodie! That's a relief, I was afraid we I mean they weren't, and we I mean they were being left behind by other families!', Ashley expressed, smirking proudly and shaking her hips. Her family had to flaunt their wealth, or else what was the point?
'...You're quite odd, aren't you?', Mr. Grundler asked, making a sharp turn.
Ashley, clanging to the side, cursed as she rubbed her head. 'What? No, I...', then, remembering her character, she corrected 'That is, yes. I'm quite the black sheep, you could say. Not a family of Gretchens, to say the least.'
'Nor friend material, yet you seem to have had quite the impact on her.', Mr. Grundler commented.
Ashley grimaced, just a little guilt lacing her word's shoelaces. 'Oh, you know.', she whispered apologetically. Impact? Mr. Grundler didn't seem like the kind to just throw that word willy nilly.
'Oh, I see. We are talking about different things. I apologize, I have a tendency to speak obtusely. I was referring to the museum you two went to back in Friday.', he explained, sounding less dry, more... Embarrassed?
'Oh, no need to feel bad, Mr. Grundler, I misunderstood you!', Ashley reassured, feeling even worse. 'Is my true talent making Grundler's upset?', she thought, turning red in the face.
'That is... Very polite of you, Ms. Richter. But do not worry. I am accustomed to it by now.', Mr. Grundler said, his turn to reassure now.
Ashley shrugged. 'Still. Seems like I can't say anything right.'
'I wouldn't know. Gretchen hasn't told me about what happened. All I know is that she couldn't go to school today.'
Ashley's eyes twitched in fear, as she hide her face. 'I'm assuming you're... Not happy about this?'
'I wouldn't say. I was the one who insisted she would stay and recover.', Mr. Grundler explained, and Ashley suppressed a little gasp. 'Really?'
'Affirmative. Clearly she was upset. I didn't think sending her to school at such a state was acceptable. My daughter's feelings matter more than any GPA or Attendance record.', Mr. Grundler said like it was a simple statement of fact.
'Wow. That's... That's really nice of you, Mr. Grundler.', Ashley replied, impressed.
'Nothing any good parent wouldn't do.', Mr. Grundler played it down.
'...Well, um, did she... Did she say anything about why she was upset?', Ashley ventured, cautiously entering dangerous waters. She could just feel the judgement and anger raining down on her, but she HAD to do something, no?
'Like I stated before, no. All I know is that last night you two were working and something went wrong.'
'...You and me both.', Ashley admitted, hugging herself in sadness. She traced a sad face on the fogged up window, the sky turning a little bit stormy. 'I don't even know what I, like, did.'
'Well, I suppose you'll just have to ask her and, if needed, apologize.', Mr. Grundler stated matter of factly. Ashley hated how true that was, but appreciated, in a way, how normal he made it seem. Perhaps it WAS matter of fact, perhaps it WASN'T a big deal.
She appreciated how he didn't seem to judge her, too. In fact, he seemed quite nice despite his claims of otherwise.
'...I wouldn't say you speak obtusely. I think, honestly, you kinda helped me prepare to talk to her.', she admitted out loud.
Mr. Grundler didn't say anything. But when he suddenly parked the car, he turned around...
And he had the warmest smile Ashley had EVER seen.
'Well, such a well spoken and intelligent girl such as yourself must be right. Thank you kindly, Ms. Richter.'
He was so polite, yet warm, even a little innocent, like a little child. Ashley couldn't help but giggle a bit at his cordiality as he opened the door and performed a tiny bow. She curtsied. 'Why, thank you, Mr. Grundler. But please, it's like, no big!'
'Well, for what it's worth, it's very "big" to try and solve a problem one doesn't know one's part of. You may have only met Gretchen recently, but you seem to treat her like an old friend.', Mr. Grundler mused, walking up to the door, leaves constantly crunching under his penny loafers. Ashley, overhearing his statement and curious, but not asking, walked up to him and blushed a bit. 'Um, I don't know about old friends. Just project partners. Yes. Nothing more.', she whispered, finding herself not as confident about that as always. She wondered why, as she felt the wet grass tickle her dress legs.
'Still.', Mr. Grundler insisted, and he opened the door, the sudden bursts of fluorescent light blinding him and Ashley. 'Oh, careful now. The floor is a little wet, my wife is testing a new invention.', he informed casually, dimming the lights a bit and hanging his black porkpie hat.
'Mrs. Grundler invents? Just like Gretchen?', Ashley asked, surprised. She had no idea Gretchen took after her mother too!
'Indeed. The deoxyribonucleic acid doesn't fall far from the gene pool.'
'...The what?', Ashly asked, not focusing, and she slipped and fell on the floor.
'Owie...', she muttered, hurting her butt. 'Now I've got no leg to stand on or tushy to sit on, the way this day is going.'
Mr. Grundler was just about to help her up, when a frazzled stormy mess flowed through the two of them, lifting Gretchen up with one arm and fixing her glasses and hair with the other. 'Oh, I am SO sorry, Ashley R! Do extend your most merciful forgiveness, I was just distracted with my latest doohickey!'
Ashley, stupefied, backed off a bit, regaining her line of sight. 'And you are...'
Standing before her was a hot mess that looked a lot like Gretchen if she was older, kookier and somehow taller. 'Doris Grundler, Mrs. Grundler to most, Gretchen's mom to some, Ditzy Doctor Doris to approximately 15 other scientists, three janitors, the barista at Starbucks with the nose ring and a VERY friendly dog!', the woman said cheerily, offering a hand to shake. When Ashley touched it, it gave her an electric shock, frizzing her hair up a bit, which she managed to fix with a cold stare.
'Whoopsie! A fallacy on my part! See, Ditzy Doctor Doris! I forgot that I was tinkering with this here Floraz Fastidious Ablution Apparatus!', she said proudly after apologizing, pushing her tiny glasses up as she went over to the other side of the living room.
Ashley blinked in confusion, not even bothering to pretend she got that.
'It's a wet floor sign that cleans the floor itself! Instead of forcing people to slave for excruciatingly long hours with miniscule stipend, this baby does it itself!', Doris explained, walking over to a yellow wet floor sign with a picture of her winking and giving a thumb's up. Turning the big red button on it on, the sign suddenly grew arms with Mickey Mouse gloves on, grabbed a mop and cloth, and dried the whole place up, racing in dizzying fashion. Doris applauded and bounced, Mr. Grundler smiled quite brightly, and even Ashley found herself impressed. 'It's, like, a robot from one of those dorky sci-fi things nerds like!', Ashley expressed in amazement, as the sign took a little bow when finished and offered Ashley a mint. 'Why, thank you!', Ashley thanked, popping it in. 'Mmm, minty fresh!'
'Yes, it can even tell you your horoscope and recite Letterman's Top Ten from the night before!', Doris went on, turning off the robot. 'Now, you may very well ask, "Doris, won't this lose countless jobs? What will all those people work at?", well, see, that's not gonna happen! These robots are useful, but only as helpers. They are there to make things easier, give the custodian's less to do if needing a break or a sick day. They are a tool, not a replacement! And if it ever gets manipulated, I know the passcode that turns them all into communist robots, so take that, institution!', Doris explained, whoop whooping and raising her own fist in victory.
Ashley wasn't sure she got any of that, but hey, it was still cool! 'Like, totally museum worthy, Mrs. Grundler!'
'Please, call me Doris! Any friend of Gretchen's is a friend of mine! THAT'S a scientific fact!', she exclaimed, booping Ashley's nose. Ashley giggled, wiggling her glasses back into shape, before remembering her MAIN reason for being here. Biting her thumb in concern, she coughed out 'Um, yeah, speaking about that...'
'In fact, I have a little fun quiz question for you! The winner gets a lucky prize! The loser does too, don't worry!', Doris explained, rushing off into the kitchen and nearly falling over her droopy coat. She simply backflipped over the table and reached over the stove for something.
Ashley, stunned, looked at Mr. Grundler for an explanation, something.
'Oh, she really splits my atoms~', was all he could muster, deeply in love.
Doris then rushed back in, hiding something behind her back. Ashley had to stop herself from peeking, lest she come off as rude.
'Okay, now, here's your question: Which 19th century French man named Louis revolutionized his field of science and allowed us to have an indulgent yet delightful treat?'
Ashley's eyes bugged out, taken aback by the specific question. She didn't know! She couldn't seem THIS clueless about science, she'd already failed to understand every other thing these two said! The way this was going, they would know her little ruse! No, she had to think now, she...
'Wait, I know!', she thought, and with a saucy smile, she crossed her arms and confidently said "Louis Vuitton!'
When there was nothing but silence, Ashley cracked open one eye and grimaced, prepared for embarrassment. 'Is... Is that wrong?', she asked, reserved and flustered.
'Oh, well, not exactly! If my question had been cosmetic science, you would have been very right! Quite the fascinating field too! Did you know they're building a museum for it in this city soon?', Doris replied, going off on a bit of a tangent. This surprised Ashley, in a good way, and she smiled in relief. 'Wow, I didn't kno... I mean, that's cool!'
'It is! But, sadly, that is the wrong answer. It's actually Louis Pasteur, inventor of Pasteurization!'
Ashley A once would never have asked, she would have just tuned it out and thought about anything else.
But Ashley R was actually a little curious, and so, she asked. 'What's that?'
'Huh, I was sure they'd taught that in your grade by now...', Doris mumbled, scaring Ashley, only for her to reassure her with a wave. 'Oh, don't worry! No genius knows ALL the answers!'
'Heh, yeah. I'm... I'm still quite a while behind Gretchen. Trying to catch up.', Ashley said, not totally lying. She kind of WANTED to know a bit more. Like about this Pasteurization thing.
'Well, I'll explain! See, all Milk has these itty bitty things named microbes, like bacteria!', Doris began, only for Ashley to stick her tongue out in disgust. 'OMG, is that true? That's GROSS! That's it, I'm asking my Daddy to sue all cows. Cereal will be eaten with tea from now on!'
Hearing this, Doris' face burst into a delightful giggle, one that rolled around and around like the coils on a telephone wire. It was so infectious that the previously disgusted Ashley chuckled a bit too. 'Oh, Ashley, I understand your aversion, but do not worry, most of those microbes ARE important! They can be helpful and purify the milk!'
'Woah, really?', Ashley asked, eyes wide in curiosity. There was such a thing as a good icky?
'Yep! Of course, TOO many, and that's what expires milk! Well, faster than usual, that is. So, Louis Pasteur invented a heating process that would begin a log reduction of the microbes, getting rid of just enough so that it can be drinkable, while keeping the useful ones!'
'Ooh.', Ashley ooh'd in intrigue. 'I thought you just milk the cow and that's it.'
'Nope! Like all things, it takes a lot of science to create something sweet! Like what I was referring to in my question! Here you go!', Doris stated, revealing the surprise behind her back: A steaming mug of hot chocolate! Snowy whipped cream, fluffy Peeps Marshmallows, grated cinnamon, and even sweet little colorful candies in every color of the rainbow decorated the insanely warm and soothing looking drink! The steam gracefully floated into Ashley's nose, who took a happy whiff and sighed in happiness. 'Like, gosh, Mrs. Grundler, that smells TOTALLY yummy!', she chorused, holding it with both hands carefully, letting it heat her chilly soul up. Then, she scrunched up her face, confused. 'But, like, I got the question wrong.'
'Ah, but like I said, losers get the treat too! What matters is that you were able to listen and learn, even in failure! Failure is the greatest teacher!', Doris explained, grinning affectionately as she then took out another mug. 'Here, you can give this one to Gretchen!'
Ashley then remembered yet again what she was here for, and sadly, the fun had to stop. 'Oh, right. Um, speaking of Gretchen, is she...', Ashley suddenly felt very small, terrified at the thought of someone so pleasant and giddy as Mrs. Grundler suddenly turning angry or upset.
Thankfully, that didn't come to pass. Mrs. Grundler simply turned a bit more serious. 'Oh, of course. Gosh, I got a little sucked into my work, trying to forget about it. Sorry.'
Mr. Grundler was quick to correct her. 'Now, now, don't fret, my blue supergiant star. There's no division that could irradiate my love for you by even a fraction. It's a right angle triangle every single millisecond.'
'Oh, you charmer! You know you can't speak accountant with me next to guests!', Doris giggled and blushed as Mr. Grundler took out his protractor and kissed her cheek between its clear splits. 'Hmm, 3 and 23 are the prime factors of 69, its square root in exponential form is (69) 1/2...'
'Phil, you unstable uranium you!', Doris giggled again, kissing Phil back.
Ashley, always a fan of romance, struggled to hold back a Squee. 'Who knew nerd flirting was cute?', Ashley thought, tapping her feet happily.
Thos woke Doris up, who then looked at Ashley sadly again. 'Oh, sorry, yes, you and Gretchen, right. Look, I didn't ask her anything. I think, like Phil, that whatever it is, it's private and between the two of you. If Gretchen wanted our help, she would tell us. Some things are better left between friends.'
Ashley didn't bother correcting the friends this time, lest it lead to more problems. 'Okay, but... I don't know what I did! All I know is that she's upset. Really upset. She'd NEVER skip school!', Ashley got more and more concerned as she spoke, thinking about the insanity of that statement.
'Tell me about it! It's definitely cause for concern, but I am not judging. I believe you when you say you don't know, Ashley. The problem isn't that. The problem is that whatever happened, Gretchen is hurt. Does it matter if it's your fault?', Doris asked genuinely, shrugging.
Ashley had to admit, that was a really good argument. She nodded slowly, considering it. 'I... I guess... I mean, I would probably just want an apology myself...'
'Well, then, what are you waiting for? Go, tell her!', Doris encouraged, pushing Ashley forwards towards the stairs.
Ashley froze, turning around back to the Grundlers. She was CLEARLY scared. 'It's just... What if... I don't wanna be...'
Finally, she just spat it out. 'I didn't mean any harm. What if I really DID do something bad? What does that say about me?'
'Hmm, I can understand that.', Phil mused, placing a gentle hand on her chin and cupping it up. 'But what does it say about you if you can't go to her?'
'...It would prove I'm just a jerk. You're right. Gretchen needs my apology. Even if I don't know what I'm apologizing for.', Ashley said bravely, showing her true depth.
Smiling shyly, she thanked them. You're very understanding. Thank you.'
'Oh, everyone makes mistakes! But true friends listen and understand, and maybe learn to respect differences!', Doris said, giving Ashley a soft encouragement hug.
Ashley gasped, holding the mugs. She had of course been hugged before.
But her mother, well... It was more... Restrained. More a kiss on the cheek.
Ashley got it, she hadn't earned it yet.
But this hug, even if it wasn't her real mother, it felt...
Ashley leaned her chin and buried it just a little deeper into Mrs. Grundler's shoulder. Closing her eyes, she hummed, feeling calmer.
Feeling ready.
'Whatever I did, Gretchen, I'm gonna make it right.', Ashley swore, taking a deep breath, and knocking on the door.
Hey, Copernicus.
Hello, Gretchen. Are you feeling better?
...No.
Far be it for me to pry, but may I ask what it is?
Ashley. She said something that... Hurt me yesterday. About... About something that means a lot to me.
I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do, dear?
Listening is enough, for now. I've had no one to talk to all day.
Bedridden, I see.
Indeed. Just these four walls and my thoughts.
Must be dreadfully lonely.
You have no idea. I've wanted to scream so badly, but I don't need mom to come here and get all worried. I love her, but this is between me and Ashley.
Do you think she feels sorry for what she did?
That's the worst part! She doesn't know!
What do you mean?
She doesn't get that what she said was insulting! She's confused! That's how deep her homophobia is!
Well, if I may... She IS a child of a Conservative, Christian household, in a society where even the more liberal families are at least happily ignorant of homosexuality. If not downright in denial of their own intolerance.
And your point?
Ashley may have not been educated about any of this, Gretchen. You are more than justified in your anger and hurt feelings, it is not my place nor my desire to tell you how to feel or judge you. I am simply your companion in this. My only statement on the matter beyond my deepest condolences, is that it is not TOO late to perhaps explain to Ashley what she did. After all, adults are mostly fixed in place. Children can't stand still, and because of that, they are more open to shifting perspectives.
...I guess you're... Not wrong...
Just give it a thought. Whatever you choose, I'll agree. You're the one with the hurt heart, after all. You choose where it leads you.
Copernicus shut down, and Gretchen sighed, turning onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. She must have seen that lightbulb flicker 260 times, once every two minutes, since 7:30.
'Ashley would probably be able to confirm that.', Gretchen allowed herself the tiniest wry smile, before grunting and mumbling, fighting back tears again. If she was here now, she'd...
Suddenly, she heard a knock. No, a few knocks. All in a certain melody.
'All I Have to Give, Backstreet Boys. Of course.', Gretchen sighed, half annoyed half amused. Shaking her head, she got up and opened the door, seeing Ashley kicking the door to the tune, holding two hot mugs of hot chocolate, bopping to her own music with her eyes closed.
When she opened them, she remembered who was in front of her and went 'Eep!', holding out the mugs and hiding. 'Um, hi! It's me!'
'I'm angry, not blind. Nice try, but making hot chocolate isn't enough, though it ISN'T nothing.', Gretchen remarked dryly, taking one and sipping. She exhaled, a little less angry. 'Oh, that's good hot chocolate.'
'Well, it's your mom, actually.', Ashley stated, taking a sip and grinning giddily, her sweet tooth pleased. 'But if making this will get you to stop being mad at me, I'll learn!'
'See, it's this kind of stuff that annoys me! You care more about how I'm mad at you than how I'm mad in the first place!', Gretchen complained, closing the door and sitting on her bed. Ashley, not wanting to risk further mistakes, sat down on the floor, not even caring if it made her dress dirty, which Gretchen DID notice and acknowledge internally.
'Okay, wrong thing, I know. Look, I... Let me try, please?', Ashley pleaded, utilizing puppy eyes and whimpering. Gretchen shook her head, rolling her eyes. 'Your "Cute face" doesn't work on me, but I am morbidly intrigued. Carry on.', she waved, like a bored and unenthusiastic conductor.
Ashley gulped, now that the moment was at hand. She would have to navigate this carefully.
Shifting her feet and playing with both her ties, she began.
'...Okay, so, I don't know why you took what I said so personally, since I don't know what it was, but...'
'Okay, not curious anymore.', Gretchen stated, turning her back on Ashley and covering her ears with her pillow.
Ashley, screeching, got up and stomped her foot. 'THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"
'Then what DID you mean, Ashley? WHY ARE YOU HERE, IF NOT TO STOP FEELING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF?', Gretchen shouted back, face crimson red, tears stinging her eyes. She threw the pillow at the wall and pointed at Ashley's heart, prodding her. 'YOU FEEL BAD BECAUSE I'M ANGRY AT YOU, BUT DO YOU CARE WHY I FEEL BAD? DO YOU THINK OF ANYONE BUT YOURSELF?!'
'YES! I... UGH, I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THING THESE DAYS!", Ashley blurted out, collapsing on the floor, tears streaking her face. She clasped her hands and sighed, deeply, painfully, abandoning all ego. 'I... I fucked up. I get it. I don't know HOW I did... But that doesn't mean I think it was okay, Gretchen. I did all this to make things better for you in the first place, remember? To not leave you to work on your own. We were having fun, no?', Ashley asked, hoping she'd say yes.
Gretchen averted her eyes, but her choked words didn't hide the truth. '...It was... Enjoyable.'
'Right?', Ashley urged, getting back up, head hung in shame. 'Gretchen, I hate seeing you this upset! It's not like other people, it feels... Wrong! There, I said it, okay? It's wrong! I know that you wouldn't miss school just like that, I know... I know that I must have said something really bad if it made you feel like this. It doesn't matter if I did it on purpose or not, it doesn't matter what it says about me. All that matters is how you feel. I'm...'
Ashley felt it bubble in her chest, it was so hard to say, so hard to shove out, but she had to. Clenching her fists, shaking, she forced it out. 'I'm sorry, Gretchen. I'm sorry.'
Gretchen's eyes widened. She had heard Ashley apologize for a quirk, apologize for being distracted, small, tiny apologies.
But this was a big apology, a no holds barred "I was wrong" apology. An apology full of shame, regret, and desire to fix things.
Ashley's eyes were full of tears and her demeanor was downright shaken. 'I keep hurting people. The Ashley's, you. It seems like I just can't stop fucking up recently. I really WAS trying, Gretchen! I... I'm sorry.'
Gretchen bit her lip, hesitant. Her first shook, then unclenched.
It took all her might, but she turned around and placed her hands on Ashley's shoulders, the girl raising her head a bit, still upset.
'...You really don't know what you did, huh?', Gretchen voiced, almost more to herself.
'Honest. Fashionista honor. Swear on my designer bags and jeans. Cross my heart and hope to wear white after labor day.', Ashley swore, crossing her bag and jeans, then raising her palm like she was on trial.
'This is serious, then.', Gretchen mused, losing her restraint. She couldn't tell her... Could she?
But Ashley's face showed an innocence and care Gretchen had never seen there before. For better or worse, destiny had taken them here. For whatever reason, they had gotten intertwined once more.
Sighing, she sat down on the bed and slapped at the cover, inviting Ashley to sit with her.
Ashley sat down, scooching up close to Gretchen, which made her blush again. 'Stupid feelings.', she cursed, shaking her head and taking a deep breath, preparing herself for this.
'...Ashley, what I'm about to tell you... I haven't shared with anyone else. The only ones that know are my family and a very close friend. I need you to understand that this isn't just any old gripe, any silly secret. This is something important to my soul, to every fiber of my being. And I'm sharing it with YOU. Not T.J., not Spinelli, not Ms. Grotke. YOU.', Gretchen stated, trying to settle her nerves, but clearly a little shaken.
Ashley R looked taken aback, but she nodded, glasses bouncing. 'That IS serious! That's like me not telling something to any of the Ashley's but B!'
'Exactly. So I need you to listen very carefully AND openly, got that? If you really want to fix things, you'll listen.', Gretchen began, and Ashley once more nodded, eager to repair this hole she caused.
Gretchen's hands kept shaking, however, and she didn't know how to start.
Ashley, out of instinct and kindness, suddenly grabbed the hands, causing Gretchen to blush even harder. 'Say it. Please.', Ashley pleaded.
'...Gosh, she's going to kill me, and I don't even like her like that.', Gretchen shook her warm cheeks and cleared her throat, ready to begin.
'So... Let's start with what you said. It was yesterday, when you...', Gretchen's words got stuck in her throat, but she forced them out, drowning the lump. '...When you said what you said about the poetry book.'
Ashley squinted, trying to remember. 'You mean... That you are a scientist and wouldn't be normally interested in poetry?'
'What? No!', Gretchen reacted a little sharply, making Ashley flinch. Gretchen sighed and softened. 'Sorry. I mean... About Sappho?', she tried, grimacing.
'...Oh, yes, the carpet muncher!', Ashley said, making Gretchen steam up again. 'I would prefer you just said Lesbian, please.'
'Oh, okay.', Ashley replied, shrugging. 'Does it matter?'
'YES, YES IT... Ugh, look, don't interrupt all the time, this is hard enough as it is. Like yanking teeth out at a dentist's.', Gretchen muttered, groaning.
Ashley, seeing Gretchen was upset again, leaned over and grabbed the still hot mugs. 'Well, maybe this will help?', she offered, sheepish smile behind the hot chocolate.
Gretchen, suppressed her small smile and grabbed the mug. 'It would, to be honest.'
The two drank a bit, Gretchen soothing her spirit with the drink. Ashley sucked up her marshmallows, happy to see Gretchen was calming down.
The two just sat there for a moment, enjoying the drinks. Just trying.
Then Gretchen kept on. '...Okay. So, look... What you said, about Sappho, about... Lesbians. It was... It was very insulting, okay?', Gretchen spat out, trying her hardest to keep going.
Ashley mused this, totally lost. 'Okay... Please don't get angry, but... Why? I don't get it. I mean, it's not like you're a lesbi...'
'Okay, okay, look, I'm not explaining this well!', Gretchen suddenly interrupted, panicking. Hiding her anxiousness with the mug, she tried a different angle. 'Ashley, I get that you don't know better. I assume you were raised to fear homosexuality, being raised Christian and all.'
'Well, I wouldn't say we're SUPER religious. We say grace sometimes, I go to Sunday School when I'm not busy, we LOVE 7th Heaven. But I wouldn't say I'm DEEPLY religious.', Ashley corrected, but Gretchen shook her head. 'Not my point. I mean, you fear homosexuality, right?'
Ashley shrugged. 'I can't speak for the rest, really, but all I've ever heard were bad things. You know, it's depraved and wrong and icky and God hates it and stuff. Like, it makes sense, no? Women can't mate with women! Then how do they make babies?'
'...Well, first of all, you can adopt.'
'Hmm. Good point. Didn't say that in church. But still, isn't that weird? I mean, why not just go with men?', Ashley asked, scratching her head.
'Because not everyone is born like that. Some girls just click with girls.', Gretchen explained, trying her best to be understanding. Ashley at least wasn't cursing her to hell yet.
'Like who?', Ashley asked.
Gretchen sighed. She knew this moment was coming.
'Well... Um... You see...', Gretchen stammered, only for Ashley to squeeze her her free hand with her free hand. 'It's okay, tell me. I want to understand why you're sad, Gretchen.'
Gretchen couldn't kill her watery smile. 'I appreciate that.'
Taking a deep breath, killing her fears, ignoring her hammering heart, she went for it.
'I...'
Ashley leaned forwards.
'Am...'
Ashley's ears perked up.
'A...'
Ashley's eyes widened.
'...Related to a lesbian.'
(Sorry for trolling, guys, but this IS important and not Gretchen lying, it hurt her too).
Ashley gasped, like she had heard the dirtiest gossip. 'LIKE, OMG! NO WAY!'
'Way.', Gretchen laughed, shaking her head at the reaction.
'...Am I supposed to feel bad, or not, because I kinda feel like it's not, even though I still don't get it.', Ashley asked, scared of another outburst.
'I guess I can't blame you for not knowing. Maybe, hopefully, I can teach you a very important lesson about other people.', Gretchen explained, taking another sip. 'I'll answer any questions, just keep your mind and heart open, okay?'
'...I'll do my best.', Ashley said, very curious to understand what was hurting her partner so much.
'Okay... Okay. I think it's best if I just start from the beginning.', Gretchen made herself comfortable, and closed her eyes, letting the story that impacted her so hard to flow out of her heart and into Ashley's.
'It all started with my aunt...'
A bunch of colors suddenly burst, painting a scene in Ashley's mind, as Gretchen explained.
'We're dealing with my mother's side of the family, specifically. There's my mother, whom you've already met, Doris...'
A red and yellow painted figure popped up, waving cheerfully, holding a beaker.
'Oh, but this was before she was an inventor, this is when she was a little kid.'
The figure suddenly shrunk, now holding a toy telescope from a cereal box.
'Her parents, Horst and Ingrid Grundler...'
Two more figures, one totally red, the other totally yellow, popped up too, the former holding an axe and looking tall and gruff, built, the latter small and bright, but not too bright.
'And her sister, my aunt, Linda Grundler. She was... Different.'
A final figure popped up, but something was different about her. She had not two colors, but three! Red, yellow, and blue!
'How was she different?', Ashley asked, curiosity piqued. She scooched a little closer, trying to imagine all these figures.
'Well, for one, Linda was tasked with being the family's pride. My mom was the little sister and the brains. This meant Aunt Linda had to be the beauty, the perfect little bride that will give Horst and Ingrid what they wanted most: Grandchildren, but more importantly, a proper American family connection.'
Gretchen waved her arm, seemingly creating a boat that sailed to the states. 'Horst and Ingrid had immigrated from Germany when World War 2 started, wanting to get away from all that madness and start anew here. Their kids would be first generation immigrants, and life would NOT be easy. There would be suspicious glances, racial insults, backhanded compliments, ignorance, stereotyping, isolation. Becoming like the norm was their first and foremost mission.'
Ashley nodded as Gretchen continued, picturing it perfectly. 'Horst got a job as a lumberjack while Ingrid stayed home to raise the girls.', Horst chopped some trees, waved to other red figures, then passed some yellow figures, arriving home to kiss his yellow wife and pat his multicolored daughters. Doris was playing with a rubix cube while Linda played house, carrying a Dollie and feeding it, or cooking in the kitchen with Ingrid.
'Linda, then, had to get a husband, since Doris was, well, not conventionally pretty.', Gretchen sarcastically remarked, frowning at the thought. Ashley raised an eyebrow. 'I thought parents think all their children are hot stuff.'
'Not all of them. Thankfully, my mom didn't get too affected. She found her sanctuary in her studies. Linda had other things, however. She wasn't encouraged to do well at school, she was encouraged to do well at home. She didn't do her homework, really, Melissa, her best friend at school, did. Linda had sewing lessons, cooking lessons, cleaning lessons, gardening lessons, manner lessons, dancing lessons, any sort of lady like thing you can think of that involves staying at home, looking pretty, and speaking rarely.'
Linda was shown doing all those things, sewing, cooking, cleaning, gardening, displaying good manners, dancing, etc.
'Well, she seemed to be good at them!', Ashley commented.
'Oh, she was, for the most part. But it was only as good as she was allowed to be. It was only good in her parents terms, not her own terms.'
Linda sewed up a Tina Turner embroidery patch for the blanket she's sewing, and her mother reprimanded her. Linda cooked up a crazy looking beef wellington with all the spices and pineapple slices on top and sushi rolls on the side. Her father threw it away. Linda danced the twist while cleaning. She was forced to dance quietly and gracefully instead. She planted a Venus fly trap. She excitedly chatted at dinner about Star Trek and Cool Hand Luke with Doris, only to be sent to bed. She preferred dancing to The Rolling Stones than Bhrams, and her dance teacher frequently struck her with a ruler.
'Oh, that's terrible!', Ashley exclaimed. 'Thank goodness our parents don't do that!'
'Yeah. Sadly, things only got harder for Linda. She tried to be more like she was "supposed" to, she really did, but she always felt off, always felt like something was missing. She went on countless dates with countless boys, each one more handsome than the last, but she felt nothing each time, but a yawn coming on.
Linda could be seen on date after date with men colored red, blue, or yellow. Some were even yellow and blue or red and blue or red and yellow. But none made her stop sleeping in the spaghetti.
'She would stand in front of the mirror and practice smiles, but none of them felt real. Each one hurt like a stab to the heart, but she had to get used to it, even if she would go to sleep smiling with eyes full of tears.'
The Linda figure laid in bed, crying while smiling.
Ashley grew sadder, eyes almost welling up. 'That's not fair. Why didn't they want her to be happy? Didn't they love her?'
'They did. In their own, wrong way. But they loved an idea of her. The real Linda, to their misfortune, couldn't be kept down for long.'
Linda's figure, trying to remove her blue but failing, suddenly saw a rerun of the "Amok Time" episode of Star Trek.
Her eyes widened as a strange feeling overcame her. Kirk and Spock had... Romantic chemistry. Odd and wrong as that sounded.
'What would it be like if they... Admitted their feelings? If Spock got over his logic and tried to love his captain?'
'For whatever reason, Linda felt like she had to write something. Her own story. One just for her, no one else.'
Linda was later in bed, with a flashlight, writing under the covers.
'Every night, every chance she had, she wrote about the two, about their burgeoning relationship, using other episodes as a guide. She wrote and wrote and wrote. About how they both felt it was wrong, were scared what the others would think, but still couldn't deny their attraction, their needs.'
Gretchen looked aside to see if Ashley was still listening. She was, looking like she was hanging off of every word.
'And as she wrote, so much, so passionately, she started to notice that she was changing a few things. Kirk, that dashing lovable rogue, was turning more and more into herself, and Spock was changing gender too. Suddenly, she had to know, what if they were girls? After all, if it was okay to write about two boys in love, if it didn't feel wrong to her, perhaps two girls would be all right.'
Linda looked to the sides, before changing the pronouns. Her heart hammered, her eyes lit up. This felt... Right.
'Linda kept on writing, but the story changed further and further, now no longer a Star Trek fanfiction. Instead, Captain Kirk was now Captain Adlin, the flamboyant rockstar captain of a peace keeping mission through space, aided by her spectacled advisor Elissam, who was inspired by Melissa.'
'Her best friend from school.', Ashley breathed out, still entranced by the story. Gretchen smiled at Ashley remembering. 'That's the one!'
'Well, then what? Did anyone find out? I doubt her parents liked it.', Ashley voiced, afraid for Linda.
'Oh, you don't know the half of it! But, let's not get ahead of ourselves. First off, Linda started to find out more and more things about herself.'
Linda leaned in as her father watched the Pittsburg Penguins. While she cleaned the room, she secretly cheered and danced as they scored, keeping a crazy list of stats in her notebook.
'She learned she loved watching and playing sports, especially Hockey. She learned she liked rock music, and secretly took guitar lessons from Melissa's father.'
Linda was playing the guitar, shredding it like crazy. Melissa's dad didn't disapprove, he gave her a peace sign and said 'Far out, lil lady!'.
'She even got Melissa to explore her passion for art, and the two would write and draw together, sometimes for their own project, one about the space captain and her advisor, Melissa not minding that the characters were based on them. 'After all', Melissa, said, her glasses drooping a bit. 'We care for each other a lot. If you were a boy, I would date you. Then maybe I wouldn't be so shy all the time.'
'You shouldn't have to be shy, Melissa! No one draws Wonder Woman like you!', Linda praised, admiring the, um, figure of the character.
'Well, she lives on an island full of women, it's pretty inspiring.', Melissa admitted, blushing.
'Imagine. They probably HAVE to marry women there. They don't have to hope a man could be like one.', Linda mused. 'I wish there was a man like you, Melissa. Then I'd kiss him.'
'How... How would you kiss him?', Melissa asked, embarrassed, daring for once.
Linda blushed, for once scared. For once startled.
But she loved it.
'I would... I would hold his face.', she said, moving closer on the grass, nose touching Melissa.
'Like so?', Melissa asked, holding Linda's face.
'Y...Yes. And then, I would... I would tell him that... That he makes me feel like I can be myself. I don't have to dance "right" or talk "right" or create "right". I don't have to hide with him. I can be wrong, totally stupidly wrong and disgusting and, and, what's that word father says, "Obscene"!'
Melissa, hanging on every word, drew closer. 'My father says it's cool to be wrong.'
'Your father is really wise. Like you.', Linda commented.
'And... And then what, Linda? What would you say then?', Melissa asked, LISTENING to her. LISTENING to Linda. No one did, except maybe her sister.
No one listened except for Melissa.
She listened like...
Like the man of her dreams.
'..I... I...', Linda tried, but got too scared. She looked away. 'I can't. I shouldn't. I'm... I'm not supposed to...'
Suddenly, Melissa grabbed her, her hand revealing shades of green and indigo. She too had 3 colors, and Linda gasped at that.
'Fuck what we're supposed to do.', Melissa said, shockingly brave. 'If I was your husband, I would let you play any song and I would listen to your stories, every single word, until my ears were nothing but wax and my bones were nothing but dust, all that would remain would be my heart, that would be beating as loud as a drum!'
Linda, blushing hard, suddenly grabbed back, fighting back the voice of her father in her head.
'...Melissa, if I was your husband, I would tell you to stop being so fucking stupid, because you're the best artist ever and you're way smarter than all the boys and you shouldn't have to get your glasses off because you're already pretty and, and, and...'
Suddenly, Linda changed her voice, to one Melissa knew well. Her Captain Aldin voice. 'And I would go into a black hole and fall for eternity if you would smile confidently just once.'
Melissa was dying, but she urged on, saying what she felt, in the voice she used for Elissam the advisor.
'CAPTAIN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT! I WOULD SMILE IF YOU STAYED BY MY SIDE! I ALWAYS SMILE WHEN I SEE YOU!'
It was too far now. Linda couldn't go back.
She didn't want to.
'Elissam... I think I finally understood why my father wanted my to have a husband so badly.'
'Why?', Melissa asked, edging closer.
Linda's eyes fluttered as she spoke, finally feeling what she was supposed to feel in all the dates she had with boys.
'Because he knew that if I had a wife, I would blind everyone with my smile.'
Linda and Melissa both kissed at the same time, feeling whole, feeling real, as the sun drowned them with its light and the world suddenly turned colorful and real.
Gretchen stopped again for a moment, and chuckled at Ashley gaping and blushing.
'That is... Literally so romantic. Like... OMG. I might faint, Gretchen.', Ashley admitted. Gretchen, patting her hand softly, shook her head. 'No, no, not when the story isn't over.'
'Fair.', Ashley accepted, and the two got more comfortable, lying face to face while kicking their legs up. 'So... Then what? They kissed, that's it, happily ever after?'
'Oh, I wish. But like I said, there WOULD be a discovery. And it was... Rocky.'
Linda was entering the house, bright as a daisy, walking on a cloud. 'Oh, I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who finds...'
Suddenly, she froze. The TV was on, and there were protests.
The Stonewall Riots.
'Homosexual and queer people all across Greenwich county in New York protested the constant raids Police would make, not allowing them to live, to be themselves.'
'But that doesn't make sense! Aren't Police supposed to go after crime? What crime did they commit?', Ashley asked, confused.
'Being gay.'
'But... Well... I know that's what some said, but... I...', Ashley stammered, even more confused. 'Oh, I don't get it. It's wrong, yet it doesn't feel wrong!'
'Ashley, let me ask you this. You love Fro-Yo's, right?'
'MORE THAN GOD, MY FAMILY, AND LIFE ITSELF.', Ashley said seriously, making Gretchen chuckle again. 'Cool. Point is, if someone told you it was against the law to eat it, would you be angry?'
'Well, duh! I'm not hurting anyone by liking it, it's not against the law!', Ashley said, rolling her eyes. 'Pretty obvious, Gretchen.', she smirked.
Gretchen rolled her eyes. 'My point is, should Linda be in prison for loving girls? Who is she hurting?'
Ashley tried to find a counter, but she just couldn't. It didn't make sense, did it? They could have kids by adopting, like Gretchen said. They weren't hurting anyone. What was wrong, then?
'...No one...', Ashley said quietly, realization dawning.
'Don't worry, I'm almost finished. I think you'll feel less confused then.', Gretchen reassured, continuing.
'Well, as you can imagine, Linda hated that. Now that she knew who she was, she couldn't stand the idea that people would be hurt for doing nothing! Heck, they were hiding in a bar just for gay people! Not that they should hide, but you get the picture. This wasn't fair, not even remotely. What if she had been there? What if... Melissa had?'
'And so, Linda did something a little dangerous, but very noble.'
'In hiding, she joined the protests.'
Ashley gasped dramatically. Clutching her face, she shouted 'DID SHE DIE?!'
Gretchen raised an eyebrow.
'...Sorry, proceed.', Ashley said, waving her on.
'Ahem, she didn't die. But she DID get arrested, and was very lucky not to die. And that's when... Her family found out.'
Ashley gasped again, trembling, as she imagined Linda in a police station, only kept alive because her father knew the arresting officer.
'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! WHY WOULD YOU PROTECT THIS LOT ANYWAY?!', Horst screamed in her face while Ingrid looked upset and Doris worried.
'Because... Because...', Linda tried to say it, but couldn't.
'You were ALWAYS a problem child, but I never expected this! What, did you feel pity for these animals?!', Horst demanded an explanation.
'...I'm... I'm...', Linda almost choked out.
'Sorry? Good. Be sorry. You deserve to.', Horst spat, narrowly missing her.
Linda started getting angry. 'Don't interrupt me...'
'I'LL DAMN WELL DO WHAT I PLEASE! I'M YOUR FATHER, AND YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO MARRY A MAN AND CONTINUE OUR LINE, NOT BE HERE DEFENDING THESE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T YOURS! WE ARE!', Horst screamed again, banging the table.
'NO, YOU'RE NOT! THEY ARE MY PEOPLE!'
'I bet this is because of that Melissa. She always DID seem off. Bet she's a carpet muncher.', Horst cursed, making Ashley grimace from the memory and Linda finally blow up.
'YOU'RE HALF RIGHT! SHE IS! AND SO AM I!', Linda screamed, getting up from the table and staring at all her family, shocked by the outburst.
'She must have... Hypnotized you or something...', Ingrid said, sort of unsure. Doris simply said nothing.
'NO, SHE DIDN'T! I FOUND OUT ALL BY MYSELF! I'M A LESBIAN, DAD! I'M GAY! I LOVE TO KISS WOMEN AND HOLD THEIR HANDS AND I'M GONNA HAVE A FAMILY WITH MELISSA, A FAMILY THAT LOVES EACH OTHER, THAT DOESN'T NEGLECT ONE DAUGHTER FOR BEING "UGLY" AND FORCES ANOTHER TO BE WHO SHE ISN'T! I LOVE ROCK MUSIC AND WOMEN AND SCI FI AND WRITING AND DANCING SILLY DANCES AND BEING UNLADLYLIKE AS ALL HELL! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT, FATHER?!', She shouted, staring at him, standing up to him.
Horst, unable to control his rage...
BANG!
Smacked her, leaving a scar on her cheek, drawing blood.
'...I think that I have no daughter.'
He turned away, looking back just once. 'You won't go to jail. But you won't stay here. Go live with that lesbo Melissa for all I care. Doris will have to replace you.'
Linda breathed hard, shocked that her father truly didn't love her, but accepting it. Standing up slowly, she looked at Ingrid, who seemed shocked, but wasn't brave enough to speak.
Then she looked at Doris.
'...I guess I'll be seeing ya, Dizzy. Invent the grooviest world ever. When I'm ready, I'll live in it, and give you the hug you never got.'
As she left, Doris stopped her.
And gave her a toy telescope, the one she had from the start, her prized toy.
'If you squint, you can see me with it. Waving to you.'
Linda grabbed it and kissed Doris' head.
'Thanks.'
As she got out, her colors got brighter and brighter, faster and faster, as she ran outside, looking for her, for Melissa.
When she found her and her father, they all agreed it was time to go.
'We'll go to Canada. It ain't perfect, but it's better than this, and close to your home, just in case you ever...', the dad said, but Linda shook her head.
'For Doris only. Hopefully, she'll get outta here.'
'Well, you lovebirds ready?', he asked, smiling at the two.
Melissa got shy, fiddling with her glasses. 'Oh, I don't know, I mean... We just... It's too soon to put a label...'
'Melissa.', Linda said.
'Yes?'
'Shut up.', she joked, and kissed her.
As they kissed and held hands, their colors suddenly mixed and matched, a violet hue popping up from their hearts, until they had all their colors and weren't hidden anymore.
Two rainbows, walking together towards love.
'And ever since, my Aunt Linda and my Aunt Melissa have been "roommates" in Canada, coming to visit here and there. They still have to hide their marriage. They still have to hide. They're happy, but... But it's not fair. It's not fair that their only "crime" was loving each other. They shouldn't be hated. That's why you hurt me, Ashley. You sounded like my grandfather. You sounded like someone who would hate my aunt, who would hate m... my other aunt.', Gretchen explained, finally shedding the tears she had been holding back the entire time.
Ashley, crying for ages now, let out a long held breath. 'I... I didn't... I had no idea.'
'Many don't. It's not taught, sadly.'
Gretchen looked away. 'I guess I was a little too angry. You didn't know better...'
Ashley suddenly clasped her hand. 'NO.'
Gretchen gasped, startled. Ashley seemed as passionate as ever, eyes a fiery storm. Every word was as powerful as she could muster. 'I literally don't care about that. I didn't know. So what? I said awful things! That I... That you were too respectable to be gay, you and Mikey? And that it was wrong and gross? Omg. I'm wrong and gross! I should never have said that! Never! Even if you weren't my fri... My partner!'
Gretchen nodded slowly, shocked but pleased. 'Y...Yeah.'
Ashley placed a hand on her heart and swore. 'I make you an Ashley oath to NEVER ever say anything like that again. I totally understand now why you were angry, Gretchen. I can be mean and rude, but I never want to be that... That careless and monstrous! Totally WACK!'
Gretchen couldn't help it, and giggled. 'Yeah, very wack.'
Smiling softly, she grabbed Ashley's hand. 'Thank you.'
'Don't. I see now that... That it's obvious. People should be allowed to love other people. Like... Like you said before. It's stupid to make it a crime. It's not. It's just... Love.'
Gretchen nodded. 'Exactly.'
Ashley didn't finish yet, however. 'Like, hypothetically, what if it was illegal for us to be friends? What, would that be wrong? Who are we hurting? Well, maybe the other Ashley's, but that's probably just them exaggerating.'
Gretchen blushed furiously and began coughing. 'Ahem, yes, yes, we are a great example after I talked about girls kissing, totally not making me go crazy.'
'Yeah! Happy you agree!', Ashley smiled, before adding 'Not that we're friends. We aren't. We are never seeing each other again after this.'
'Indeed.', Gretchen nodded, and the two stood up from the bed, staring at each other.
Ashley, still sorry, wanted to find an apology and a promise more meaningful than words.
Suddenly, she felt it in her pocket. She must have taken it by accident, but man, how fitting it was!
She offered her hand, and in it, was the toy telescope from the cereal box. Just like the one Doris had given Llinda. 'Can... Can we be project partners again, though? Please? I feel like I REALLY need to do right by you now and get this thing done.'
Gretchen stared at the hand. The hand of the girl that hurt her but also made her weirdly happy. A girl that was so complex and flawed, yet somehow special and even... Sweet.
The girl that had listened enough to see the significance of that toy telescope.
She thought of the fun they had in the project.
She thought of how Ashley was willing to change her entire world view in multiple ways to try and be nice to her.
And she thought of how Ashley could lose her friends.
And how she didn't want that to happen.
Not just out of respect or cordiality.
But because Ashley deserved a second chance.
And to Ashley, Gretchen deserved a first chance.
They clasped hands and shook.
'Come on. Let's ace this thing.', Gretchen grinned, and Ashley whooped. 'Let's go! Ashley R and Gretchen on another worldwind adventure! We're gonna make a project SOOOO SCHWAYYYY that Ashley B will eat her hat!'
'I'd pay to see that.', Gretchen smirked, and the two giggled as they took out their project papers, ready to work together, to try.
Not an easy chapter to write, especially as this ended up being the second longest chapter of the fic, just behind the mall chapter.
And for good reason! This chapter is CRUCIAL for the rest of this fic and relationship, it is (alongside the chapter 3 chapters from now) arguably one half of what cements the dynamic between Gretchen and Ashley! So it kinda HAS to be that long.
Ashley's convo with herself (Ashley R) was planned before I started, but went longer than intended, since I had a lot to say with Ashley before it, an attempt to have some comedy and see how she was changing (plus, more of the Armbrusters and Ashley M!). I honestly think it's some of the funniest bits so far!
Ashley R isn't a spirit guide or a mental health thing or anything like that, just a sugar buzz hallucination of Ashley's conscious. Just thought I should clarify XD but I will say this: Ashley R and Ashley A aren't two sides of the same coin. Ashley is just a multifaceted person with many interests, sides, moods, and levels of empathy. She just doesn't know it because she placed herself in a box for so long. Gretchen is helping unlock ALL her personality. It's not WRONG for her to be a fashionista. Just not to be a bitch about it XD
The Grundlers seemed to be one day in the Parent's day episode (surprised that they barely ever appear) but I decided to make them autistic and ADHD genderbent Gomez and Morticia, because... Well, doesn't that sound sick? Anyway, Phil and Doris are my new faves and you can expect to see more of them soon!
Ashley got her hot chocolate with a friend, but not the way she expected it, either XD
The story was never meant to go that long or hard, but in a way, like Ashley, the more I heard about Linda Grundler the more I fell in love. She was always gonna appear in the future, so look forwards to that! But in a WHILE.
So, are the girls friends? Sort of. They are HEAVILY in denial of that, but they are very much becoming friends, and the next chapter, a montage of their project work, will only cement this.
Mikey was originally supposed to cameo in this chapter, giving Gretchen the book she needed, but it didn't fit an already overlong chapter, so he's in the next one! In universe, he decided not to bother Gretchen in an hour of sadness, and to wait for another day.
Next chapter around about next week! Definitely shorter, since it's a montage mostly. It's the ones after it that will REALLY go hard.