Shinji was aware of something amiss when Asuka insisted on shadowing him the next morning. She was present for breakfast, made sure he had packed her lunch, and was waiting for him so they could go to school together.

Any other day he might have suspected she had some motivation for being so present. Perhaps, at last, she wanted to be close to him for once? Today he just assumed she didn't trust him based on how yesterday went. Figuring that's what it was, he zoned out on the walk to school, only being tangentially aware of what she was saying.

…Until something she said brought him out. "What?" He asked.

Asuka stopped and whirled to him. "Are you paying attention? I said we'll be going to the library after school." She whirled back to the path, continuing, "I'll be tutoring you today."

Shinji, confused, asked, "Did you check with… the class rep?"

"...I'll tell her when we're in class." Asuka replied, "After all, who better to help you than a university graduate?"

That haltef Shinji's argument. He couldn't argue with her logic even though it felt wrong. Moreover he wasn't sure how he was feeling about Asuka tutoring him.

No, he knew. He wanted Hikari's help. The class rep was much more congenial and understanding. Asuka would probably find some other way to demean him and his paper.

They got into class just before they were late, Asuka led the way in. There wasn't time for the conversation to happen before they were forced to sit for class.

Toji was out today, and Kensuke wasnt to be found. So this was the time Shinji ate lunch alone or with one of the other pilots. Today it was Rei, hoping to catch up with her.

As they sat together Asuka was staring daggers across the classroom at Shinji. Hikari had seen this behavior before, but this time she sighed inwardly about it. Asuka was just going to keep on doing these passive maneuvers rather than be upfront about her desires. But then, Hikari realized, was she any better?

She gripped her chopsticks. Maybe she should be.

Asuka said then, "I can't wait for this report to be done. When's it due, this week?"

"End of next week, at the latest." Hikari replied.

"And you're going to be done tutoring Shinji then?"

Hikari glanced up but Asuka wasn't looking at her. The class rep replied, "It depends on his grades. Once he's no longer at risk, I won't have to tutor him."

"Okay." Asuka replied.

It occurred to Hikari then that she never asked Asuka if it was okay to tutor Shinji. Considering their relationship, should she have done more to gently prod Asuka into doing this before the class rep had to step in?

No, Hikari realized, she shouldn't have. She's the class rep. Shinji's grades, and Hikari's approach to furthering his education were her responsibility, not Asuka's. And while she respected Asuka to a point, she was just another student. In matters of education Hikari had to have the final say.

Besides in just about every aspect of their friendship, Asuka had the last word. It must not be the case for Hikari's classroom responsibilities.

She glanced over at Shinji. And I don't want to compromise on this.

As she thought this, she felt the inevitability of conflict with Asuka in the distance.

When class ended Shinji got up and packed.

He was conflicted as he did so, because he wasn't certain Asuka could do this, even if it made sense. He had reasons to think Asuka might have been out of line, but she respected the class rep far more than she respected him. Surely it must be okay.

He also couldn't deny that he wanted to spend more time with the class rep. Though Rei was also less intimidating to talk with, if he was frank, sometimes it was awkward to discuss normal things.

Just as he finished packing Hikari stepped up to him. "Today is a tutoring day Ikari, where would you like to go study?"

Shinji looked at her and her smile and his heart bounced. Then it immediately descended, because, "Err… Asuka said she was tutoring me. Didn't she…"

The hairs on the back of Hikari's neck bristled. If there's anything she couldn't abide as class rep, it's counterfeit authority. She had enough trouble getting Suzuhara and some of the other students to respect her and focus with this ridiculous teacher. Someone acting in her name would unacceptably undermine her authority. So, she turned with a serious face to Asuka, who was stepping up to her now.

Using her class rep tone Hikari asked her, "Asuka, what does Ikari mean when he says you're tutoring him?"

Asuka's eyes went back and forth between Shinji and Hikari. "Yeah. I forgot to tell you, I'll tutor him now so you can do other things. After all, I'm a university graduate, so that should qualify me to help." Then she made a wry grin and canted her hips haughtily. "Unless you were really 'tutoring' him to put the moves on Shinji where I can't see, class rep? I didn't think he was your type."

Hikari blushed indignantly from the suggestion that she was abusing her authority to seduce Shinji. "W-What? What are you implying, Asuka?!"

Asuka smirked as if she won something. "Oh, nothing. So, it isn't a problem for me to take Shinji off your hands then."

As Shinji stared incredulously at her, Hikari breathed as her mind raced. At least her knowledge of class regulations outran her flustering over Asuka's actions. "It is a problem. School rules say the class rep or teacher needs to instruct him. Otherwise you need to get permission from Mr. Mikasa."

The old man had spent the entire morning boring the class with memories of Old Tokyo. He was also already gone.

Asuka was starting to look mad, and Hikari was looking tense, so Shinji stepped in. "L-lets all go to the library together! That way the class rep can tutor me, and you can help too, Asuka!"

Both women were dissatisfied with this answer and both glared at him. Shinji shrank as his attempt at compromise backfired.

Asuka huffed. "Fine, I guess that's the best we can do." She stared at Hikari as she said. "I try doing you a favor for once, and you had to make it complicated." She huffed and turned on her heel to stride from the classroom, saying, "I'll see you two at the library."

Once Asuka was gone it was only Shinji and Hikari left in the room. They looked at one another, pausing in that moment alone.

Hikari was still feeling shellshocked. Not only did Asuka try to usurp her authority, but also threw an unfounded accusation at her and followed up with a backhanded guilt trip. What was she doing?

… Unless this was her response to Hikari showing interest in Shinji? That felt strange, she would have expected a more direct confrontation.

She also never got the chance to mention the privacy issues about tutoring. Not only were there ethical issues, but she also didn't want Shinji to be distracted. That would be reason enough to shoot down Asuka's assumption… likely along with their friendship.

She was about to propose alternativves to Shinji when he sighed and said, "Let's go. I don't want to make her more mad than she already is."

Hikari, remembering that she needed to be a good friend, conceded. "Yes, of course." Though as she left with Shinji she had a bad feeling the rest of the day was going to feel awkward.

Because an apology from Asuka was the last thing she would expect.

In the bathroom at the library Asuka splashed water on her face and rubbed the skin. Then she stared at herself in the mirror. What was she doing? Hikari was her best friend! Where did she get off saying things like that to her, especially in front of Shinji!

"But I don't like it." She said, responding to her unease about Shinji spending so much time with her best friend. Asuka couldn't help herself though, she rarely had to check her behavior with anyone. If she lashed out, somehow they deserved it. But why her best friend, the relatively mild-mannered Hikari, who only posed a threat to Suzuhara?

She doubted anything romantic was happening between the her and Shinji; Shinji would rather die than entertain a romantic thought, and Hikari's true love was Suzuhara. What was Asuka afraid of? Why was this bothering her so much? Wasn't Hikari allowed to do her job? What was she thinking?

Kaji. Asuka knew how to feel good and wipe all this stupid overthinking away. She snatched her bag as she left the bathroom, then plucked her phone out with a smile. She'd prove to Hikari that she could take Shinji off her hands, then spend time with the man she really wanted to be with. Easy.

Asuka closed out her mind to all other possibilities. Everything would fall into place as it should, because her brilliance only gave her the smartest moves.

She opened her phone just before she left the bathroom.

After barely an hour the three of them were leaving the library. Asuka was gesturing with a fist as she yelled, "It wouldn't be an issue if you just listened to me! Why do you have to argue with everything?"

Shinji replied, "You were telling me how to write my paper!"

"Yeah, if you want people to take you seriously! What you had was a pretty poor class report!"

"I-it wasn't poor! The class rep didn't have a problem with it!"

Hikari raised her face and prepared to enter the conversation.

Asuka interrupted, "She's just too modest to tell you to your face that your paper sucks."

Hikari stared as she walked behind the two of them, but then dropped her face. She was too mortified about being kicked out of the library, and she didn't have the energy to fight Asuka. Not to mention all the other things that happened only a little over an hour earlier.

Shinji went on, "You're the only person who cares about this. I don't tell you how to write your paper. Why did you have to read mine, anyway?"

"Ever hear of peer review? It's only the most basic of proofreading methods used in school."

"I know what it is. Why did you have to read it when it wasn't finished?"

The arguing continued as Hikari walked behind them. She sighed as she recognized being the third wheel. It was a clear suggestion that maybe Hikari had no place beside Shinji after all. Asuka was already there, and always would be.

As they came to the peel off point Asuka continued berating Shinji. Now she was ranting about domestic matters and other things. He looked tired now.

Standing at her corner holding her bag, Hikari said, " I-Im gonna go…"

Neither of them heard her. Her light was green, she started to cross. Shinji saw her go out of the corner of his eye and was immediately ashamed for letting her leave without a goodbye. Asuka was talking though, and he couldn't interrupt her.

Shinji sighed and proceeded across the crosswalk when the light turned green. Asuka continued to critique, complain, and rant about everything but the one thing truly bothering her.

In place of the luminous glow of yesterday, at home Hikari felt a quiet abyss of drudgery and the sickly taste of Asuka's betrayal. She heard the creak of the house and saw every stain on the walls as she cleaned and navigated around Nozomi's antics. She didn't speak much over this period, she just started dinner on schedule.

Kodama came home and only sighed as she went upstairs. She went missing until dinner. Hikari's father came home loosening his tie, and only grunted when Nozomi asked how his day went.

Then it was over. Hikari had her bath, changed into her pajamas, and was scheduled to do schoolwork before bed. She stared at her bag and tried to find the will to do it but… it wasn't coming. She would rather sit on the bed and stare than find the mental energy to do something which, ultimately, she knew nobody cared about. Nobody ever had.

Like a doll she laid down, pulled the sheet over her middle, and stared at her ceiling, waiting. Either she would fall asleep or some other responsibility would come back to her. From there she would judge again if it was worth-

Her phone trilled.

Hikari blinked and breathed in as her eyes focused on her phone in the dark. Who on earth would be calling her this late?

She opened the phone. "Hello?"

"Uh… Hikari?"

It was as if the sun just peeked out between the mountains, turning the twilight into morning. "Shinji?" She asked, breathy, as her other hand came to hold the phone.

"I'm sorry I'm calling you so late… it's just the first chance I was free."

"That's okay, Im only free just now myself."

"Oh! Good, um… I wanted to say I was sorry for not saying goodbye earlier. I… I was… distracted."

"You were listening to Asuka, I understand."

Shinji paused, then said, "I wish it had been just the two of us. It wouldn't have been so… uhh… loud?"

Hikari laughed into the phone. Staring, she decided to say, "Part of the reason these tutoring sessions are supposed to be one on one is because it helps you, the student, to focus."

"...oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"And I didn't correct you." Hikari replied, "It's okay, it's my responsibility." She smiled sadly and said, "I also didn't want to start a fight with Asuka. But… I might have to in the future."

Another pause, then Shinji said, "Is it possible for her to tutor me after all? It might be just easier…"

No! Hikari jerked up from the bed into a sitting position. She stared, surprised a litlle, then closed her eyes. "What do you want to do, Shinji?"

She held her eyes closed. It would be possible and Hikari could arrange it, but now she found she didn't want to. She wanted to keep Shinji.

"I just don't want to cause trouble…"

"That's not what I asked." Hikari replied. Softer, she added, "I want to know what you want to do. Your opinion… is important to me."

I'd know if I need to start getting over you and give this up. She leaned forward, driving her head against her knees.

Then Shinji said, "I… I want to keep studying with you. I-if I can."

Hikari felt warmth radiate from her chest. "Okay," she said, "I'll handle it then."

"A-are you sure? I… I don't want to get in the way of your friendship."

"Its not you." Hikari said, even if her mind could easily prove her wrong. "I'm going to have to deal with the things Asuka said and did today. At least talk to her."

"Is she in trouble? She wasn't supposed to volunteer to tutor me?"

Hikari thought over the rules and sighed. "Technically she's not in trouble but I really don't like that she didn't check with me first and just assumed that she could."

"I… I didn't think… um, I thought she had. I'm sorry."

"You can contact me if you have any questions, Shinji." Then she added, softer, "About anything."

"Anything?" Shinji repeated.

"Mmmh!" Hikari replied, then added, "It doesn't have to be just school related, either."

"Really?" Shinji replied, "u-uhm…"

Hikari twirled her hair around her fingers, tense as she waited for anything from Shinji.

"W-why do you care about me this much? I'm not worth it."

Hikari sat bolt upright. She knew Shinji had poor self esteem, but his question was basically asking her to justify her interest in him. Was now the time? Did she want to do this? It wasn't proper for a girl to confess to a guy, that's why she never confessed to Toji!

But the dam was straining. For the second time, it started to break again for him. "Well it's um… I told you how much I admire you for everything you're doing. But… also um…" she paused, swallowed, then went on, "You're easy to talk to, also. You've been the only friend I can be myself with. I… I don't have to be anybody to you. I can be just me."

"Is that really helpful?"

"I think so." Hikari said and her face colored in the dark. "I know it's one of the many reasons I enjoy spending time with you."

"Like what other reasons?"

Hikari blushed even further and she shifted her torso in the bed. "I told you I admire how much you do hard things. I like that about you, you don't give up." When he didn't respond right away, Hikari said, "Can I ask you something?"

"U-uh, sure?"

"Why are you so hard on yourself? Why don't you think anyone can like you when you have a lot to offer?"

"I… I don't know." Shinji sighed into the phone and said, "All my life I can't recall a lot of good things happening. They happen to other people… just not me. The only time I've mattered to anyone was when I came here to pilot Eva. If… if I didn't have that then…"

Hikari smiled. "You would still be a curious, resolute person who wants to know if there could be better. You're someone with needs and wants, and humble desires for the future. These things are true even if you were piloting Eva or not, and you shouldn't be ashamed of them."

Shinji said nothing, but Hikari thought she heard… crying? "Shinji?"

"I-i have to go." He said, his voice sounding wet.

"Okay. Goodnight Shinji." Hikari said.

"G-goodnight." Shinji replied and hung up.

Hikari closed the phone, then got out of bed to replace it on her desk where it was charging. She sat on the bed and drew her knees up to her face as she wondered what the next step was. Why was Shinji crying? Was it happy tears, or sad ones?

She would have to wait for tomorrow, when she could see him. If not in class, then afterward.

The tears had come unbidden, and Shinji didn't understand why they were happening. He hung up before making a fool of himself in front of the girl he was starting to like in order to process what happened.

He didn't deserve her attention, respect, or help. But in spite of everything she was giving him compelling reasons for her friendship and perhaps more, if he let it go that way. Shinji didn't feel like this before.

By saying what she did, acknowledging his insecurity and misgivings and giving him worth outside of Eva, was mind-blowing and he responded to it by crying. But as he lay in bed, thinking over why he responded the way that he did, it occurred to him that she was the first person in the entire city besides Rei not to chide him for not being manly. He didn't realize how much that validation would affect him.

He leaned into those feelings and allowed himself to cry into the pillow. It felt good to do so, lnowing that at least one person out there wouldnt be ashamed of him.

Across the hall and behind two thin doorways, Asuka was listening to Shinji weep. She heard him talking on the phone and figuring it was one of the dorks, she turned them out. Those conversations, usually from Aida, were never interesting. But then she heard Shinji cry and that got her attention. She abandoned her homework to listen. Shinji was almost always a wet blanket, but this was the first time She heard him cry.

She could barge in and demand to know what was going on, but it was likely to make him just cry harder. Besides, even she knew now going in would just make things worse. All she could do was puzzle over what made Shinji cry.

Did it have something to do with this afternoon? Did he realize how much trouble he was on with his terrible paper? Was he upset maybe that they were kicked out of the library?

Whatever. It's not like anything she did changed anything with him anyway.

She leaned away from the wall to sit back at her desk and homework. Seeing her phone she checked it for the fifteenth time since coming home to no missed messages. Kaji hadn't called her back all day.

She thumped her fist on the table. She thought things would have changed after sunday- he even said he would call more frequently! But now, approaching midweek, there was nothing. She was being left to dry again, for Misato. She was certain Misato's late nights were being spent with Kaji.

She huffed in frustration and tried to resume her work.

a/n: (clarified this note)

I should probably tag Asuka in this also since tracking her response to all of this is also important to make it all a little more believable.

Her own obliviousness, confidence, and self assurances blind her to the reality of the situation brewing between the two people close to her. She wants to be the center of everyones attention (including and partivularly Shinji's) but, like in canon, shes in denial of her own feelings about him (which made arael a disturbing revelation for her).

i didnt want Asuka to be a cutout antagonist in this fic, she has a path in this too. i dont plan for her to have a romantic angle going out, but I want to give her path with at least more nuance than what we get in GFoS when Shinji chooses Mana.

Im pribably being too slow on Shinjis uptake to Hikari because if Mana is any indication from GFoS, Shinji responds quickly and positively to anyone who says they like him- even without the end of the series abandonment issues which happened in canon. What remains to be seen is how this ship navigates to the end and whether Shinji can reach his father with her help.