The Farmboy and the Archaeologist

A Star Wars one-shot by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit work of fan prose. Star Wars is the property of Lucasfilm Ltd and Disney. I would ask you to support the official release, but cannot in good conscience after The Last Jedi.

Some extra bits that didn't make it into the final cut.

In the comics Leia and Aphra had some weird girl boss bonding thing. Instead...

After Yavin but before Hoth...

Aphra is kept in binders and brought before Leia on Home One. Leia is smiling pleasantly on the other side of the table as the guards kept their watch.

Aphra: "So... Is this the part where you tell me that I have good in me? Preach the Rebel gospel?"

Leia: "Hardly. I am here to offer you a job."

Aphra gapes... And then laughs. For a while. She nearly falls out of her chair. She calms herself and grins.

Aphra: "Are you serious?"

Leia: "Very."

Aphra: "I think I'd prefer to stay in my cell."

Leia: "Doctor Aphra, I was the youngest human Senator in a thousand years. You may think you're an indecipherable chaotic mess but you're as easy to read as subtitles on a Hutt soap opera."

Aphra: "I am not-!"

Leia: "The Clone Wars took everything from you. You mother and your home. You father barely cared. You had to look out for yourself and you went into his profession to show him up. And you threw in with the highest bidder or most powerful side because you felt that might was right. And you act like a child not only to deceive others so you can survive, but to deceive yourself. Am I close?"

Aphra: "... How's Solo in the bunk? Or the Wookie?"

Leia: *smiles* "Adorable."

Aphra: "Ugh... Look. I'm not in this for your revolution or your therapy and whatever you're paying, it's not good enough. Besides! Vader thinks I'm dead, and as long as he does-"

Leia blandly holds out a holocomm. She activates it, and Aphra sees her wanted poster with Vader speaking over it.

Vader Holo: "... Offering 20 million credits, alive only, in good enough health to survive interrogation..."

Aphra: "... Well... Stang."

Leia: *turns off the holo* "You're not that good at long term planning, Doctor. So, here are your options. You can become an independent contractor for the Alliance. You help us find weapons and supplies to keep us going. You help Luke Skywalker find Jedi relics and artifacts to assist his training. You will have the full protection of the Alliance from bounty hunters and Imperial forces, but your activities will be monitored at all times. If you deliver and provide good service, you will be given more trust."

Aphra: "Still failing to see where my incentives are-"

Leia: "The alternative is that we let you go."

Aphra: "That's it?!"

Leia: "Yes. We let you go. We're not the Empire."

Aphra: "Then I'm out of here-!"

Leia: *beams* "After announcing we will be letting you go after an extended time in our service."

Aphra: "Wha-?!"

Leia: "On every Holonet transceiver we can. We do want to spread the message that we are not like the Empire, after all. We want to make it clear service with the Rebellion, while it has responsibilities, is not holding people against their will."

Aphra: "That would put every bounty hunter in the galaxy after me, EVEN MORE THAN THEY AREADY ARE!"

Leia: "Yes."

Aphra: "This is blackmail!"

Leia: "Hmm... Yes. Yes it is." *all smiles* "So, what will it be, Doctor?"

Aphra: "You know, I could do a lot of damage from the inside, even like this. Maybe even kill Skywalker."

Leia: "True... But you won't. You're a survivor, Doctor. As impulsive and self destructive as you are, a lot of the crazy is an act. To throw others off. You are very dangerous and reckless... But not that stupid."

Aphra: "I am too that stupid and crazy!"

Leia: *drops a blaster on the table, and leans back, staring Aphra in the eyes*

Aphra: "... The guards'll kill me-"

Leia: "You escaped Darth Vader. What makes you think you can't get out of this?"

Aphra: "I could just lie to go along."

Leia: "I know you will. You will be looking at every angle to escape the situation. Maybe there is one. Maybe you can even use Luke to accomplish it. There is a risk in every act of trust. But... I saw your face after Luke saved you. After you go him into danger-"

Aphra: "Not intentionally-!"

Leia: "You couldn't believe it. You had to figure it out. Why. So... Your choices are, you can survive under our protection, make money, do the job you love, and figure out that puzzle... Or, you can take your chances on your own. What will it be?"

Aphra: "..."

Later...

Luke: "Hey Doctor Aphra! I'm glad we will be working together!"

Aphra: "Well. That makes one of us..."

After all... Leia is a politician.

Luke: "Okay... You're sure there's a Jedi temple on this planet?"

Aphra: "Absolutely!"

Luke: "And the Empire doesn't know about it?"

Aphra: "Not at all! Probably!"

Luke: "'Probably'?"

Aphra: sigh "Look, I don't know what shape it'll be in or if the Empire doesn't know about it, but given that the area in question is in a dangerous jungle, it should be off their scanners, okay? And hey, come on... We got HK-47!"

Luke: "Who can't be operational for more than a few minutes at a time because we can't find the spare parts, given he's 3000 years old-"

Aphra: "I found you those Jedi scrolls!"

Luke: "Which turned out to be fakes."

Aphra: "I GOT YOU A HOLOCRON!"

Luke: "Which was nice... Until it broke."

Aphra: "That wasn't my fault! Also how do you even break those things?!"

Luke: "I'm not the one who broke it!"

Aphra: "Haaa... Fine. But I'm like... 99 percent sure this Jedi Temple is real and we won't die!"

Luke: "Ninety-nine percent?"

Aphra: "... Ninety-eight?"

Luke: sigh "Let's go."

Later... In the Jungle... They do indeed find a Jedi Temple (or what's left of one) buuut...

Defense Droids: "INTRUDERS. DESTROY INTRUDERS."

Aphra: "AH! HEY! You should recognize him! He's Jedi Master Orgus Din!"

Defense Droids: "ORGUS DIN HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 2,752 STANDARD YEARS."

Aphra: "He looks good for his age! And death!"

Luke: sighs, yanks Aphra down behind cover as the droids open fire "'Orgus Din?'"

Aphra: "I'll have you know he was a real Jedi Master and one of Grandmaster Satale Shan's most trusted Jedi-"

Luke: "He's been dead for thousands of years!"

Aphra: "Well it's not MY fault the Jedi decided to make some retro-looking droids! They looked like they came from that era! It's really good craftmanship, it fooled me!"

Luke: "Yeah, the blaster fire gave that away!"