hey, i'm back!
have a great read.
xoxos.
lehh
If Castle was disoriented the first few days he woke up in the cabin, he was even more disoriented in the last hour.
It happened two hours after he and Kate went their separate ways to sleep. He had been asleep for some time when a noise reached him and reverberated through him. He wasn't sure what it was until it happened again and he finally assimilated what it was: Kate.
The noises were incredibly sad and despairing, as if she were within the most tragic and hopeless scenario, and concluding that she was having a nightmare became more and more obvious as she walked to achieve her room. It's not like it's far, it was the same hallway, and although he wasn't sure if he should go into her room, Rick left all privacy ethics behind when he heard her scream again.
The push of the door was instantaneous, and his steps were so hurried that he reached her bed before assimilating anything. He sat on the edge of the bed, she was moving, sweating, and crying.
That broke his heart a little bit.
To see her suffer.
He pulled out one of her hands, and held it, the cold palm contrasted with his warm one. The other hand was taken to the side of her face, soft skin covered with sweat, and only after that he took courage to call for her. " Kate" he muttered, soft and worried. "Kate, wake up." Sounded like an appeal. Something close to begging. She moved again and again, but no sign of coming to consciousness. "Kate, please. Kate, wake up." Rick asked with the
Rick asked with the pain running through his veins too.
When her iris found him in the dark, he could see the fear there, if the way she shook his hand and swallowed dry is evidence, she did not want to be alone.
So he — fearfully — found his own space in her bed and pulled her close.
She didn't hesitate a moment. And even when his body was tense because of the novelty and the strangeness of having her so close, she just clung to him like he was some kind of lifeline. She lay on his chest and cried. She cried so much that he could hear her and feel her sobbing as she did.
He didn't say things like "It's okay, Kate, put out whatever it is". He meant it, but it wasn't okay, she was suffering like that? That would never be okay. He knows that it is petty and meaningless, because they are human beings and human beings feel, suffer and go through it several times throughout life, but she should never suffer.
Rick stroked his back during this whole tearful session, and he kissed her head more than half a dozen times, as if to say "I'm here," without actually saying.
Kate didn't say a word either. And it's been over an hour. He knows she's awake, and he knows she's still crying too, just a softer cry than before. He's still petting her, and just being there.
But then the next thing he remembers is waking up in her empty bed and he tries not to let it hit him. He doesn't know what she needs, and this isn't about him. Rick gets up and he sees out the window the morning sun crossing the tree branches. When he walks out, he realizes that the shower is on and then the mystery of where Kate Beckett is solved.
He comes down and goes to the kitchen, he prepares coffee, puts two pairs of semi-baked bagels in the oven, and when they're ready he stuffs them with cream cheese and peanut butter. Two of each. It's not much, but they'll be driving back to town in no time, he doesn't eat to travel, and he thinks Kate doesn't either.
She comes down about a moment later, he thinks it's because she smelled the coffee, and he is familiar with the thing that she needs coffee to work.
"Good morning" Rick greets, offering her his plate with bagels and a mug of coffee.
Kate smiles kind of embarrassed. She takes the coffee and bagels and turns to the table. "Morning. And thank you, Castle."
He nods like it's nothing. "Sure." And then he joins her at the table. They're silent this time, and it's not comfortable at all. It's weird. Almost embarrassing. "Eager to get back to town?"
Kate shrugs. "What about you?"
"It's probably gonna be a fun day with Alexis. But when I get her on that plane, everything's gonna be quiet and boring."
"How long will she be gone?"
"At most a week. Alexis can't handle Meredith any more than that no matter how fun LA could be."
"She can't be that bad, Castle."
"Believe me, she is."
Kate rolls her eyes, but drinks her coffee.
"You could have lunch with us." he suggests suddenly.
"What is it?"
"With me and Alexis. You'll love it. I mean, she'll interrogate us and ask for details of everything, but... and she loves you, I'm sure she would-"
"Castle" She interrupts him. " It's pretty cool that you want to include me in this, but I've already stolen her father for practically a week. You should enjoy it together. Without me."
He empties a little. "Right. You're right."
"We spent all these days together. I'm sure you can survive without my company until a body falls."
He nods, finishes his coffee mug and gets up to get some more.
They arrive in Manhattan shortly after 10am. She stops the car in front of her building, and he hesitates a little to get out, she notices.. He hesitates a little to look at her too, but ends up doing it.
"Thanks, Kate," Rick breathes. It's quiet, but they're side by side, so he knows she's listening.
She blinks, and slowly returns her gaze to him.
"For what, exactly?" Question. She takes her hands off the steering wheel and takes one of them to scratch something on the back of her neck. It's just nervousness, she knows. "I'm the one who should be thanking you, Rick. You interrupted your life to spend the last four days with me and uh- you… made everything better."
The way his eyes reach hers is a little disconcerting. They're glassy, bright blue irises that look like they're going to swallow you at any second.
"I am happy." Is his response, to no surprise to her. "Thank you for inviting me. I loved being there. Knowing more about you."
Kate feels exposed. She nods. "Yes. It's the same for me." She returns her hands to the steering wheel. "I don't think I can stand here. And Alexis must be waiting for you for lunch."
"Right." Rick seems to come out of some trance. He moves more. He takes off his belt, and hesitates again. "Then I'll be right there. Are you sure you don't want to join us for lunch?"
"Another time, for sure." She responds, because it's true. The last time she shared a meal with him and his family she had a great time and was very well received. "See you soon, writer boy."
He nods. "It's Writer man, Beckett." He leans in and before she can process why he would do that, his lips brush her cheek and she has her answer.
His kiss there doesn't last long. It's quick, almost like he's unsure about it and thinks she's going to shoot him. Then he opens the door and is out, going to the trunk and taking out the luggage that belongs to him and waving at her.
"See you later, Rick."
"See you, Kate." He says, and at the last moment, he regains his sense of humor. "Try not to miss me too much over the weekend, okay?"
She rolls her eyes, but feels relieved at the hint of normality. "In your dreams, Castle."
Seemingly satisfied with her answer, he smiles and only then begins to walk towards the building's entrance.
She finds her own gaze in the reflection of the mirror.
The eyeliner is exactly as she usually does for work, and she likes how it looks, likes how the black outline highlights her greenish iris.
Her eyes go down to check on the rest of herself, in the Maroon sweater with long sleeves and collar, and in the black leather skirt, and how well they hug her body and enter the proposal of the place where she is going with Lanie. Usually, Kate is not the type to wear a skirt, so it seems a bit strange, as if out of her comfort zone, but not in a totally bad way.
The necklace with her mother's ring is inside the collar of the sweater, and this is the only accessory she ever needs. The trim of your hair looks good too, the waves are free but does not expose any frizz. She remembers passing perfume, and leave her bag separate before going to the last step which is to put on her pair of black scarpins of almost 20 cm.
Kate feels kind of strange. It is no surprise to anyone that she does not have a life outside of work, it is mainly for this reason that her last romantic interests have been within the force (Royce and Will). Usually her encounters with Lanie boil down mainly to a cop bar with cheap drinks, or a quiet evening with home-cooked meal, wine and conversations, but it turns out that opened this new club in the Village which made her listen to her friend talk about it until she relented.
The main reason Lanie called when she was in the cabin with Castle was to check if their plans were still on. So, well, here she is, in the elevator of her building, and about to take a taxi to go to a nightclub as if it were the most normal thing in the world for her.
Weirder than that, is to think that instead of going to this place, she might be going on a date with Castle.
She kept his gaze with her the moment she asked for it. It was different from the first time he asked at the book party, it was no longer like she was an enigma and some kind of challenge, nor was it like the first days they worked together either. It was just... different. She's not sure how to explain. She just knows.
It's just the way he saw her the other night, she totally collapsed after that nightmare with her mom. He took her in and again, he was there. This time more present than through a book.
It scared her a little. It's the main reason she needs a little space now.
It haves all this dilemma yet, to let him into her life even more or not. And just because she wants doesn't mean she should. And just because she hasn't seen him for a day doesn't mean she doesn't miss him.
She takes a deep breath. For a person who investigates murders and puts people in the chair to live, he feels very ignorant to matters of the heart. It's all so confusing.
She takes a taxi and gives him the address of the nightclub.
When she woke up this morning, for a moment she had forgotten that she was home and waited for the smell of coffee to flood the room or hear him hum something while making coffee, because he does it. But then she realized he wasn't there. No new plans together for the day, or more stories of wild childhood and adolescence. No provocations or silent admiration.
So she went to take a shower and read her shabby copy of A Raging Storm.
She thought about sending a message, but then decided for that space and thought that would be good for both of them.
Kate pays for the taxi and stops in front of the facade of the club. There's a queue at the entrance, it's not that big, but it's enough to be frustrating having to wait. At least until she spots Lanie at the entrance, right at the beginning of the line calling for her.
"Hey girlfriend, you're Striking." Lanie sings as soon as they're close enough.
"Thanks, Lanie." She smiles, leaning in to greet her with a kiss on her face. "But look at you. My God. You know you look spectacular, right?"
"Oh, yeah, you can bet I know. I've been looking forward to coming here for so long, it's given me enough time to find this baby here." She points to her own body, referring to the black dress with azeviche.
They enter less than three minutes later, and the place is amazingly large and well planned. It has padded booths spread out in layers across the room, most with group customers taking their drinks, dance floor is starting to fill, and there's a drink shelf so big behind the bar counter that it's even nice to watch as the LED that circles it changes pain.
The music is loud. It's an electronic song that Kate doesn't know, but that has its value.
They go straight to the bar. Lanie asks for a Marguerite while Kate can for a Manhattan.
Lanie says she needs to go to the bathroom because she stayed in line for a long time before getting in, which leaves Kate alone.
She is approached before the drinks are ready.
A male form takes a place in the bar's high chair without saying anything and asks for a whiskey. And then his eyes focus on her. "What can I get you? A martini, maybe?"
Kate arches her eyebrows, and only then looks at him. "Oh, I'm fine. I ordered my drink. But thanks."
"Can I buy you your second drink, then?"
She watches him. He's tall, he's got biceps and broad shoulders and a pretty beard. Eyes as black as night. He's attractive. "I appreciate it, but I came here to have fun with my friend. That's gonna be all."
He gives an unaffected smile. "Let me know if you change your mind sometime the rest of the night."
Lanie comes back a second later, and does not hide the good look she gives the man while they drink.
They find a booth a little away from the epicenter of the music and talk about each other's week. About work and family. It's comforting, having someone you know you can share anything with without being judged. The jokes between middle to this too. She talks about Castle, but leaves out the part where they had any conversation about having a relationship. Lanie says she would have already totally jumped into the bones of the writer boy and Kate rolls her eyes.
They take some tequila shots too. Lanie more than Kate. And then they join the dance floor too. They dance alone and together, and with other people too, and it's so much fun.
Kate goes to the bathroom at some point in the night, and when she comes back finds Lanie lost in a guy's mouth. So she decides to sit down a little because those jumps and all the action on the dance floor are killing her.
"Your friend looks like she's having fun."
The man, the same as earlier, appears. Kate looks up at him. "Yes, she's... well, like that. I'm not."
"Like that?" He sits in the booth with her even without being invited.
"We have different opinions of fun. That's it."
"You mean you don't have casual sex?"
"I've had my share of casual sex with strangers, it's just not something for me anymore."
On the table, the man reaches out to her. "I'm Lucca McAlpine."
She looks at his hand and gives a smile partly amusing and partly incredulous. "You realize telling me your name isn't gonna make me have sex with you, right?"
Lucca shrugs. "You said you had your share of sex with strangers. If we introduce ourselves, we'll be acquaintances. Almost friends." His hand is still stretched out.
Kate rolls her eyes but shakes his hand. "I'm Kate." And a second later, as a late meal she declares, "I'm not going to have sex with you."
Another unaffected smile from him. "All right. Maybe you'll come to dinner with me then, Kate?"
"What is it with people calling me on dates?" she asks, more to herself.
"Don't you like casual sex or dating?" Lucca asks, seeming intrigued.
She makes a negative move with her head. "That's not it. It's just not a good time for anything."
"Allow me to change your mind, Kate."
It's 4:00 Sunday morning when Rick's phone rings. He answers still asleep, until he realizes who's on the other side.
He sits on the bed immediately. "Kate, hi." Rick hears the voice completely awake. "33 East 74th Street, yes, I get it, I'm on my way."
Rick hasn't done much since he put Alexis on a flight to California on Friday in addition to writing. He finished the manuscript and sent it to Gina the next second. So he went to kill some zombies in the video game and order food, because it's no fun cooking if Alexis isn't home.
He did his best to distract himself, but the truth is that Kate kept coming back and forth in his mind, and so did the rejections. He was trying not to take it personally, not to let it get to him, but it was kind of hard not to imagine what was wrong with him even when she kind of said it was about her and how she needed time.
And he missed waking up in the same environment as her, and sharing the morning, afternoon and evening before they went to their separate rooms. He remembers wanting to text her before he went to sleep, but he recall that she had plans with Lanie and didn't want to interrupt, so he just dropped the phone aside. He slept right after that.
And now, while choosing what he will wear for the day, he can not help but feel almost moved by the fact that he will see her.
He puts on dark jeans, a purple dress shirt that Alexis chose when they went shopping and a brown leather jacket. He brushes his teeth, remembers to apply the cologne and go after a coffee shop that open before 5 am.
Rick arrives at the address about 40 minutes after Kate calls. There are several police cars parked near the front of the building when he arrives.
Kate is on her back, seems to be taking testimony from someone, while Javi and Kevin are in a corner and Lanie is analyzing the body.
"Hey guys. Good morning." He announces his presence as he walks taking his eyes to the body.
Lanie spots him first. She looks awful. "Well, it's clearly not a good day for him." She points to the corpse.
"It doesn't look like a good day for you either, Dr. Parish." He risks commenting.
She stares at him. "It'll only be a good day after I recover from all the dehydration that alcohol has caused me, writer boy." she tells, and sighs.
He offers a connoisseur smile. " And he? Why isn't it a good day for him? Different kind of shots?"
She nods. "Two medium caliber, I think 39, but I won't know for sure until I get to the lab. Apparently one was lodged in the liver and he slowly bled to death."
Rick grimaces. That's when Esposito and Ryan arrive.
"Boy writer, I thought we got rid of you." The Hispanic detective crosses his arms.
The Irishman arches his eyebrows. "Yes. How long will it last... what do you call it again? Research?"
Before he has a chance to answer, Kate joins them. She has a tired countenance, but doesn't look as bad as Lanie.
"Don't worry, Castle. They also gave me a warm welcome. Then you get used to it." Then she looks at the other two detectives. "I just talked to the victim's brother. According to him, McKenney worked as a construction worker in Hell's Kitchen and had no money to afford this apartment. Look for anything in the financials that justifies that, Castle and I will go to this construction to interview his co-workers to see if anyone knows anything."
Kate takes her coffee in his hand right after the boys leave. She gives a simple smile and mutters one: "Thanks, Rick."
So they're coming down, he asks for more information. "What's the time of death?"
"Between midnight and 1:30 in the morning."
"No one heard the shots?"
"They used a cheap silencer. Very affordable, hard to get a trail to follow."
He frowns. "What did a bricklayer servant do to get killed in an apartment he couldn't afford?"
Kate gives him a look.
"I thought theories were your thing, Castle?"
She's teasing him, he can tell by the smile on her face. The elevator is almost reaching the ground floor when she yawns. He forgets what he was gonna say.
"Busy night out, Beckett?"
"A little." She nods. "I got home within our time of death. I had less than two hours to sleep."
"Did you have fun?"
"It was nice. And you, what did you do?"
He shrugs his shoulders.
"I wrote, mostly. I was missing only the epilogue, after finishing I was just playing video games." Rick says. " I found out I don't like being home alone."
"Doesn't your mother live there?"
"The only time Mom is home is in the morning, when it's time to do the walk of shame."
Kate laughs and they get out of the elevator, starting to walk to the car. She takes a generous sip of the coffee he took for her.
"I was going to bring you a bear claw too, but the coffee I usually buy was closed."
"That's really sweet, Castle. But coffee is all I need right now. We can buy something to eat later."
He nods. They get in the car and she drives to Hell's Kitchen.
The first suspect is questioned around 8:00 a.m., and Castle walks in with her. The suspect is a guy named Christian, he was best friends with the victim until a month ago before he had a fight over an unknown girl.
Christian opens up after just a little pressure. He tells that he was into this girl for a long time, and that Matthew knew and yet went to hit on her. He also says that this girl's father owns several properties on the Upper East Side. He tells the girl's name and her alibi, which by the way is very weak, but neither Rick or Kate believe it was him.
Matthew's finances are clean. There's nothing there to explain how he paid the rent on the apartment or the condo. The next to be questioned is Isobel Amaral. She tells that she was in love with Matthew and that after promising her father that she would take over the company when the time came contrary to what she had decided before, he gave Matthew a decent apartment and a job offer with a good salary too, that he should start working on the day in question. Even if they are getting somewhere, there is nothing that explains how Matthew ended up dead.
"Hey, how Remy's sounds?" Rick suggests. It's already lunchtime, and the whole search is beginning to be frustrating.
"It actually sounds great." she replies moving her eyes from the blackboard. " I'll just turn off the computer and get my phone."
Lanie calls from the morgue the moment they're going to the elevator, they kind of decide to stop there first. She confirms the caliber of the shots and adds that she found a residue of a material that is usually found in aerosol products.
They arrive at Remy not long after, and as soon as they place their order, Rick goes to the bathroom. Kate checks the phone because Javi was supposed to give feedback on a lead.
"Kate" She hears, frowns and looks for her voice.
"Oh" She widens her eyes, surprise. " Hey. How's it going?"
"Very happy to see you again for sure." Lucca stares and smiles. "Lunch break?"
"Yes. Yeah." she confirms. "What are you doing here?"
"My father owns the place. I manage it, though." he explains.
"Wow. That's nice. Good to see you, Lucca."
"Yes. I think so, too." He approaches and points to the empty chair in front of her. "Mind if I join you?"
"Since when do you ask?" Kate arches her eyebrows, remembering how he just slipped into her cabin last night.
He opens a smile, and must regard it as a positive response because he walks to sit in Castle's place.
She won't let him. "Sorry Lucca, I already have company."
"Oh" He frowns but doesn't look affected. That's when Rick points in the hallway, coming at them. He faces the man standing next to the table. " So you don't date, huh?"
Kate seems shy. "It's not a date. Just a lunch break with my partner."
"Partner?" Lucca asks.
"Yes" Rick's voice, joining them replies. "Partner."
Lucca stares at him. Kate swallows dry.
"Well, if you change your mind, Kate" he ignores Castle. "You know where to find me now." he winks at her and leaves.
She knows she blushes at this comment because her cheeks are burning. Rick is staring at her, but she's avoiding his gaze.
"What was that?" he asks.
"It was nothing. Just a guy I met yesterday."
Their requests arrive and when she looks at him, he looks defeated. Totally different from how it looked when they arrived. " I'm, uh, not hungry, really." He gets up from his chair. His voice is soft and low. "I'm going to stop by my place to do something." Advertise and take a note from the wallet and leave it on the table. "Meet you at the precinct?"
Kate blinks, completely surprised by the sudden change in mood. "What is this, Rick?"
"Anything." He answers. "I just remembered that I need to do something at home. That's all. Anyway. See you later."
Contrary to what he said about meeting her at the police station, he doesn't show up until the next day. Kate can say that he was bothered by Lucca's appearance, but that doesn't justify disappearing all day and leaving her to investigate alone, does it?
Plus, it's not like she had anything to do with the guy at the club, and even if she did, she's a single woman. Even so, she knew it would be really stupid of her to ask him to wait for her, and go around spending time with other people.
He doesn't bring her coffee when he shows up either, which is weird because he never hasn't.
It's early, so the police station is empty. So she tries again. "Rick, is something wrong?"
"Why would be?"
"I don't know. You're really different."
"Just your impression, Beckett."
"No. It's not." she says. "Is it because of Lucca?"
"You kept things in the first name, huh?" The comment is made in a bitter tone. And she knows he regrets it because she sees his instant expression.
"Can we talk somewhere more private?" She asks.
He blinks, looking surprised by the suggestion. Then he nods.
She leads the way and he follows her to the interrogation room. There's no one there.
"Hey." She tells him as he closes the door behind him.
"What kind of conversation are we going to have?" Rick asks directly.
She smiles because she can openly see the jealousy in his tense posture, in his sad eyes and in the attempt at indifference that is his tone of voice.
"I went to a nightclub with Lanie on Saturday. Lucca saw me, offered to buy me a drink and I refused. Later, he sat with me, asked me to dinner and I refused again. That was all."
He widens his eyes. Surprised again.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"You know why."
He sighs and her shoulders slump. "This is so confusing, Kate." Admit it. "Are we really going to have something? I just… was getting my hopes up for us, but then I heard him, and you reacted and I just thought I was an idiot for thinking there could be something between us."
They are standing and she is looking at him. She's not sure if she should do this, but the truth is he seems to need some reassurance. And Kate understands. She thinks that if she saw a woman talk to him in the same way she would feel foolish too. And now that she thinks about it, she really wants him to wait for her.
She takes a few steps forward. Even invade his personal space. The blue eyes and the green eyes are about to merge. "Rick," She murmurs, directly against his mouth, and then dives in. Kate closes her eyes and surrenders.
The first contact is substantial until it isn't. In the next second Rick holds her face with both hands and kisses her. It's not a soft kiss, it's not a shy kiss. It's the kind of kiss that a person can only give if they spend a lot of time wanting it. He dives into her mouth, explores everything he can, and leaves her breathless. Kate loses herself in the movements and gives it her all too, she pulls his bottom lip with her teeth and grabs his neck as if she needs it to live.
She realizes a little too late that if they continue like this, it will be much more than just a guarantee. Her body is on fire and her lungs are burning in their search for air as she pulls away. She looks at him one last time: hair in different directions, swollen lips and eyes black with lust.
Her chest fills with pride. She smile. "Get yourself together, Writer man, we have to work. And go get my coffee."
She leaves the room and he follows. "Am I not the Writer boy anymore?"
"Not today. But you'll have to prove it definitively someday."