DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.

Please find the full disclaimers in the beginning of Chapter 1.

Chapter 7

"Jane… How are you, baby? Where is she?" Angela asked, smiling in the video. They would not say Maura's name for excess of zeal, because they always felt someone could hear them, even when they were at home.

"I needed to speak to you in private..." Jane replied, a serious expression on her face.

Angela could sense something was off from Jane's controlled tone of voice, and she got worried.

"Okay… What happened, Jane? You look very serious…"

"I lost her again, mother…" Jane's voice was anguished.

"Oh, baby, what happened? Is everything alright?"

Jane exhaled loudly. She was mad at her mother.

"Not thanks to you..." Jane replied.

Angela paused, a dreadful feeling. Somehow she had done something wrong. But she had not spoken to Maura alone since they had visited Boston what, six weeks ago?

"I am sorry, Jane, did I do something wrong? Is she okay?" Concern was squeezing Angela's heart. The thought of anything happening to Maura was unbearable. The thought that she might have caused something to happen to Maura was uncomfortable.

"She has not been okay for many weeks." Jane replied, pain and hurt in her eyes.

"Jane, I swear to God I have no idea what you are talking about. But if I did something wrong, please tell me so I can try to fix it. I am feeling terrible now…" Angela replied, in a small voice, realizing Jane was edgy and somehow Angela had been the agent for it.

Angela watched as Jane rubbed her face, tiredly, and ran her fingers through her dark unruly curls. Angela could feel the tension through the screen.

"Ma… Do you want me to be happy?" Jane asked, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Of course, Jane…"

"Good. What do you think will make me happy, Ma? And before you respond… I am not asking what would make YOU happy about me. I am asking what do you think would make ME happy. So think before you reply…"

Angela paused. She felt this was the core of whatever was going on here. But she was not sure she was grasping the problem.

"Hmmm. I think what will make you happy is doing a job that is meaningful to you and that helps people. I think that what will make you happy is to keep in touch with your family, because as much as you complain and whine, you are super close to me and to the boys. And I think that what will make you happy is living your happily ever after with her…"

"Fair… Now, Ma, and this is important… How much is this different from what would make YOU happy about me?"

Angela paused, swallowing hard. The easy answer should be "No difference, whatever makes you happy will make me happy." And in the core of her being, that was true. However, as with any human being, she had her own added expectations.

Seeing her mother prolonged silence, Jane asked again.

"Ma?"

"I would be happy if you are happy, Jane. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I have my own expectations, or my own way of seeing how your happy plays out. Like your wedding and giving me grandchildren, that is my way of seeing your happily ever after with her, for example…"

Jane joined her two hands in front of her mouth, knowing they had reached the core of the problem and so far at least she had not exploded. Good.

"Ma, you know how she is socially awkward, right?"

"And I love her for that…"

"Me too. But you do understand that she takes things literally…"

Angela paused. She knew whatever this was, they were close now to getting to the bottom of whatever had happened.

"She does, yes… It is endearing…"

Jane exhaled.

"She left me, Ma."

"What?" Angela asked, a hand on top of her heart.

"Since we came back from Boston, for five weeks she isolated herself, grew apart from me, despite all my best efforts. And then she left me."

And Jane read to her mom the letter Maura had wrote her.

Angela felt panic rising on her chest. Those two were made for each other, and she needed to fix whatever it was that had triggered it. Somehow, this discussion around happiness, Maura mentioning Jane's happiness in the letter, were all related, and Angela felt they were on the verge of revelation.

"Jane, you cannot let her go. You need to find her. She is your happiness. There is no way you could be happy without her."

"I am glad we are clear about that part, Ma." Jane replied, and two tears streamed through her face, despite her efforts to hold them back.

"Where will you start looking, Jane? Isn't it dangerous for her to be all alone?" Angela loved Maura dearly. She couldn't lose Maura again. And she couldn't lose Jane – and Angela knew if Maura was lost, Jane would be lost, she had seen it happening a year and a half earlier and it had not been pretty.

"I found her, Ma. And I found what made she leave me." Jane exhaled. She had been making a herculean effort not to exploded with her mom. She knew having this conversation over video was not ideal, but she couldn't wait until she could drive to Boston again. She needed to address it sooner rather than later. Not to let it fester in her chest as it had been festering in the past few days.

"I did it, didn't I? What did I do, Jane? Tell me, please…" Angela was now crying on her end. She knew her daughter well. But she wanted to rip the band-aid off.

"She left me because she believed that I needed a big white wedding that you would plan to be happy. Because she believed that she would need to live a daily lie raising children who would think she is Dory because I can only be happy if I have children." Jane spoke in a measured tone of voice, trying to hold back the venom that was threatening to permeate her speech.

Angela felt as if a balloon had deflated within her. What for her had been an inconsequential comment, born from repetition, had caused pain. And the way Jane was posing it, Angela realized the damage to Maura's psyche on how she heard and understood Angela's constant badgering for wedding and kids…

Jane watched her mom's face fall, tears staining her cheeks, but said nothing. She needed to give her mother time to process what Jane had said. And Jane needed to keep her own emotions under control.

"I… I didn't realize…" Angela exhaled. "Oh, Jane, I am so really sorry…"

"You better be, Ma. But more than sorry, I need to spell it out so I can level-set your expectations. I will marry her. On a justice of peace, no witness. Because I need her safe, and alive, and that is more important than any big white wedding you dream for me. I will rent a house in a remote location for you, my brothers and her parents so she can wear a wedding dress and have her cake, without any other witness. Nobody else will ever know. It will make me happy to have you there, but if it is not enough to make you happy, I honestly couldn't care less." Jane almost hissed, but kept her voice low.

"Of course it will make me happy, Jane. I… I was not thinking… It was not meant to be literal…"

"And about children… You know she can't lie. Being someone else is a constant lie, Ma. And it adds to a level of stress that I honestly don't know how she is handling. Her only sanctuary is home, with me, because she can be herself, no lies. As much as she always dreamed of being a mother, she can't handle having to lie even in the sanctuary of her own home just to be safe and to keep our children safe. She had to give up on her dream, quietly, and she doesn't need anyone rubbing it on her face." Again, Jane's voice was menacing, but low.

Angela had seen Jane in protective mode before. But this was a totally different level. And she understood why. Life threatening situation was still a daily reality for Maura. And although Jane made everything in her power for things to look as normal as possible, underneath the threat was there, and Angela felt it was so easy to forget all the implications when none of them were Jane herself.

Angela swallowed, hard, twice, before she spoke, her voice breaking.

"Oh Jane, I am so really sorry… I didn't mean to hurt her…"

"She spent weeks convinced that she was not enough to make me happy, Ma. And knowing I would not accept that version of reality, she left me. I had to track her in Switzerland. I thought I had lost her for good…"

"I am really sorry, Jane." Angela was at a loss.

"Being sorry is not enough any longer, Ma. I need your commitment, your promise, you swearing on top of the Bible, that you will THINK before you SPEAK. I don't think you or anyone else realizes how stressful it is to live with this threat over her head. I make everything I can for her life to be as normal as safely possible. And if I cannot be sure that you are considerate of that, I will protect her anyway I need to, even if it is from you…"

Angela exhaled, hurt. It was painful to hear that the way Jane posed it. But she knew Jane was right. And she was surprised by how controlled Jane sounded, despite the turmoil of emotions Angela was sure were raging through her daughter right now.

"I understand, Jane, and you are right… I promise I will think before I speak. When you put it this way, I can see how easily I slipped my tongue with her, and how easily I could have slipped my tongue in another situation that could endanger her."

Jane just nodded.

"Where is she now, Jane?" Angela asked, in a small voice, knowing that if Maura had not yet been back, Jane would be brokenhearted.

"She is asleep. It took me a lot of grievance to convince her to fly back home. And I kept her awake until very late last night, trying to prove her in any way possible how much she makes me happy…" Jane smirked, and Angela raised her eyes to the boldness of Jane's comment. It was unlike Jane to be this direct and explicit about her love life…

"Can I apologize to her?"

"No. You are never to mention this conversation, Ma. But I trust you will find your ways to make her know what you think and what you feel very clearly so not to trigger her again…"

"Of course… Jane, I am really sorry to have caused this pain. I can see it was not only her I hurt, but you were hurt too, baby…"

"You have no idea how hurt, Ma. If I had lost her, you would have lost me, just know that… I know it comes from a place of your love, it is just that even love can hurt if we are not careful… So please, please, please, think before you speak…"

"I love you, Jane. And I love her. And I will do as you ask, I promise…"

"Thank you, Ma."

And Jane disconnected, exhaling a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

She felt relieved she had managed not to explode, and God knows how much she had wanted to scream and shout, but she knew screaming and shouting would not get her point across, would only maybe relieve some of her accumulated stress.

And with relief, came the weariness. Jane was tired to her bones, to be honest.

She smiled to herself, and opened the door of the den on her side of the apartment to go back to the only place that mattered: wherever Maura was.