Chapter

The War Within

"Adam you're back." Their pa welcomed.

"I see you started without me." The eldest son chided playfully after sniffing the air. He proceeded to unbuckle his gun belt, placing it on the credenza.

"Food still hot if you want to take a seat."

Adam joined his kin who were only halfway through their plates. Joe's plate was mostly full still, he observed passively. It didn't have the look that much started out on it to begin with. Not peculiar. He's always had a small stomach.

"I picked up the mail. We got a telegram from Regal."

"Really?" The baron asked taking hold of the stack. Though Regal's was right on top, Ben thumbed through the rest first to get an idea of what else was there. Nothing of compelling interest. He went back to Regal's letter, opening it up and reading down. He went through stages as he read; first furrowing his brow, then leaning back in his chair, gritting his teeth, taking a heavy breath and releasing it and finally clenching his fist.

"What is it pa?" The older boy asked. Both he and Hoss had noticed their pa's demeanor change. Joe, who seemed to be oblivious, lost in his own wanderings, looked up at the question.

"Apparently Regal is claiming that the sale wasn't legal."

"Of course, it was legal."

"He's challenging the sale."

"He can challenge it all he wants; we've got the Bill of Sale. That makes it all good and proper."

"He's challenging it on the grounds that the sale shouldn't have been made in the first place."

"That's ridiculous."

Joe darted from one face to another. From their off handed observation Joe seemed to be oddly engrossed in this matter. He was leant forward so as to see the full front of Hoss's face to make out his features. Then looking to Adam and back at his pa. Studying each one as they spoke.

"He's saying the stock was poisoned."

"What?" The erudite beat.

"Apparently there's some new disease that's going around and infecting the herds."

"Ludicrous. Our herd was not sick. That was prime stock."

"Well, he disagrees."

"We took them through some of the harshest dry-land around and lost but a handful."

"I know." Realizing he was preaching to the choir, he took a breath to center himself.

"So, what does he expect us to do? Drive all the way down there and take back the stock?" Joe's eyes bolted to Adam's when he said this. Adam not noticing kept up his inquiries. "He wants us to give back the money? What?"

"You guys are going back?" The boy asked drawing the groups focus. Ben was put off by Joe's look of agitated concern.

"Not if we could help it." He'd hoped his chortled response would have been enough to ease the boy's mind but it failed to have a comforting effect.

"I don't want you to leave again."

"Trust me, we don't want to leave either. Hopefully that won't be necessary. He's asking for what he paid." He said addressing Adam's question.

"That's ridiculous, or what?"

"Or he'll take us to court and ask for three times that. He says our stock infected others that came in from other contracts."

"That's extortion."

"He wants to take this to court." He straightened the stack of mail in his hands as he spoke. "I can do that. Adam, I want you to head back into town tomorrow. Go over to Mr. Billington's office. We'll get the attorney involved. Get them to do the work for us."

Joe lowered his eyes as he mulled. "You guys might have to go back." He said in a near mumble.

They had just gotten Joe back after eight full weeks away. Ben could imagine how homesick Joe must have been in that time, though he hadn't said it. He was definitely going through something. Growing pains or something. He'd been quiet and reflective since they got him back but kind and respectful as well. Subdued. He seemed despondent now at the mere thought of them leaving again.

"Tell you what. We'll all take the trip into town tomorrow."

If Joe could hear for himself the process, the steps the attorney will take, it might make him feel better. The mention of spending the day with them did seem to cheer him.

~.~

The next morning Adam was looking around for Joe's boots.

Joe had spent a long time in his room, when he knew they were all set to leave. When Adam came up to rush him along, he discovered that Joe had lost his boots but was afraid to tell anyone.

"Where do you think you left them?" Adam asked after peering under the bed.

"I don't know."

"When did you have them last?"

"I don't know."

"Did you take them to Mr. Tomlinson's?" He nodded his 'yes' instead of speaking it. "Do you remember having them when you got back?" His no was a slow and meek shake of the head.

"That's it then. You left them at Mr. Tomlinson's. I suppose it'll have to be these ones." He grabbed Joe's church shoes and tossed them to him. "Hurry up and get downstairs. Pa's waiting." Then left the room to rejoin the men waiting downstairs.

The boy sauntered down a few moments later. Pa was at the dining table sipping on his coffee.

"We'll head into town, then we'll swing by Tomlinson's afterwards and pick up your boots."

Joe stopped then on the middle landing. "I don't want to go." The pater sat back.

"You don't want to go? Why?" The boy hadn't a reason. "I thought you did. Last night you seemed pretty excited about going. What changed?"

"I changed my mind, is all." He said with a shrug.

"Is it because you're wearing your church shoes?" He looked down as if remembering he had them on. "Nobody's even going to notice. I'll tell you what. If you're that embarrassed, we can swing by Mr. Tomlinson's first."

"I don't want to go." He repeated.

"It's not a big deal that you left them. It was an accident, but when you do something wrong you do what you can to fix your mistake."

"I don't want to go." He challenged his pa. Ben took one more approach trying to pinpoint why his mood suddenly changed.

"Joe. It's not like we're leaving you there again."

"I DON'T WANT TO GO!" The boy hollered and bolted up the stairs. Adam who was looking on from the living room curiously watched his youngest brother run off. His pa's face had changed. He'd slammed his cup on the table wiping his mouth with a table cloth. The chair screeched backwards as he stood. He was set to kill that boy for talking to him like that.

"Woah pa. Sit down." The erudite mollified. "Please. I'll go speak to him." His pa was hesitant. "Let me get this." Too angry to deal with his son with a clear head, Ben took a breath and agreed with a nod, handing over the reins. Adam had to put on his father's cap to deal with Joe in a way his pa would be proud. He took one committed step upon another until he came to his brother's door, with all intents to scold that boy.

His brother was crying with his head buried in his covers as he opened the door. His hard approach somehow didn't seem like the appropriate way to handle the situation now. He still had to say something.

"Joe. I don't think it was right shouting at pa like that. You should know better than to be raising your voice to him."

"I'm sorry Adam." He looked up with a tear drenched face.

"Joe?" He walked over to stand over him. The boy surprised him by scurrying to him and flinging his arms around his waist. This made the older boy want to sit next to him. The youngest repositioned. With his arms still wrapped he buried his head at Adams stomach.

"I don't know why I'm such a bad kid. I try to be good Adam. I swear, I try." He held his little brother and comforted him all the while wondering, what in the Lord's name was happening here. After several moments the boy's choked sobs had molded into sniffles.

"Hang out here Joe. I'm going to talk to pa." He said pulling the boy up by the shoulders. At his pitiful gaze Adam amended. "Let me see what I could work out."

~.~

"I don't know pa. He just broke down up there."

"I will not have him disrespect me in my own home, then think he can cry to get what he wants."

"I understand pa and I agree but I really don't think that's what this is." Ben was surprised Adam was taking his side with how those two can go at it at times. "He seemed genuinely sorry for the way he treated you."

"Right, he should be. I can't believe you let him manipulate you like that. You of all people I would think could understand this."

"You can't believe me of all people is taking his side, but I am. That should tell you something." He gesticulated. "Something else is happening here. I don't know what it is but," Just then, The middle boy came through the door.

"Horses are harnessed and ready to go."

"Thanks Hoss." Ben emitted a heavy sigh. Hoss thought now, by the way his pa and elder brother were poised, that he'd walked in on something. A quarrel, by appearance.

"You know I don't say this too often." The eldest continued. "But I really think we need to give him this one." Ben glanced at Hoss, who he could see was confused at what he'd missed out on. He softened and let in agreeing with a subtle nod. "Thanks pa." Adam patted his pa's back with a smile to let him know he was doing the right thing and hopped up the stairs to Joe's room to deliver the news.

Ben put his arm over Hoss's shoulders. "We'll wait for him out here." He said as he guided Hoss back out.

"Him?"

"Joe has decided to remain behind." This insight struck the middle brother as rather queer considering the unease Joe portrayed the night before.

~.~

The heaviness in the air had slowed Adam's vigor. Joe had moved to the wooden chair by the dresser. He was slumped in it. His hands folded between his knees. Looking at him now, Adam wasn't sure how to talk to him. With the same gaiety he strode up the steps with, or with the disconsolation to mirror Joe's. He went for somewhere in the middle opting instead for a kind absolution. He stepped just within the door keeping hold of the nob.

"We're going to head into town without you. We'll leave you here. Swing by Mr. Tomlinson's on the way home and pick up your shoes. How does that sound?" He didn't know if Joe would feel chagrined for breaking down earlier.

"Thank you, Adam." The eldest brother smiled soft and sure. Before he could walk out Joe got up from his chair. Adam looked back just as his brother wrapped his arms around him once again. He let one arm fall about Joe's shoulders and squeezed.

~.~

They were in town an hour later.

They secured their horses to the hitching post outside the law office of attorney Clarence Billington, one of the few attorneys in this part of the territory. He wouldn't accept every case that came through. He was used to chasing the big ones. The ones that would further his career. For he was one of those career-oriented types. He knew where he wanted to be in life and what he had to do to get there. Traveling was a large part of his duties. He was used to traveling between Virginia City, Carson City and Silver Springs to bounce between cases. He had to balance this with rubbing elbows, hobnobbing if you will, with the people he thought would get him to where he wanted to be. Because of his scarcity in the offices, he had assistances in each of them. In Virginia City that assistant was Tom Prior. Tom Prior was no less a 'go getter'. He would have been right there next to Billington rubbing elbows if he hadn't had such a late start in the game. He had to start at the bottom, put in his time just like the rest of them. That was how he found himself to be an assistant of Mr. Billington. As Mr. Billington was currently out of town; it was indeed Tom Prior whom they'd sat down with.

Tom Prior was a shorter man with golden blonde hair that seemed too blonde against his naturally tanned skin. He typically wore a top hat when he was outdoors which hid most of the hair but just above his ears. That hat was not hung on the hat rack behind the desk. Instead, it sat on the desk adjacent the papers which were strewn about on top.

They told of the drive that they'd just endured only to come home to a sore client with a wild accusation. What they'd asked for and what they'd threatened if they didn't get what it was, they sought.

After hearing their story, Pryor gave his input. "For an enormous accusation such as this, if they actually expect this to go anywhere, then they would need evidence to back up their claim. They might have inspectors down there helping them go through the stock."

"What should we do?"

"Hire our own. Whatever they try to claim I want to get some of our own eyes down there to make sure the allegations stay on the up and up. If you agree than I can take care of that on my end."

"Yes. I think that's a great idea.

"Alright, Mr. Cartwright. There's no need to worry about a thing."

"In the meantime, how should we respond to him?"

"At this point don't. From now on, I'll make the inquiries. There's no need for you to respond at all."

"Is there anything more you need from us?"

"I think I have all I need for now. I'll make contact with them and see what comes of it."

"Thank you, Mr. Pryor."

"Do you have any questions of me?"

"Just one." He asked this one, on behalf of his young son left back at home. "Do you foresee for any reason us having to make the trip back down?"

"I don't see that as being of any real concern. Of course, there's always that possibility but that's a last resort. I wouldn't worry about that. Not when the case is so fresh. We've got a world of options before us."

"Thank you."

"Rest easy. I'll let you know when we get something back."

~.~

The men came through that evening leaving their belts on the credenza. "What's that smell?" They all smelled it.

"Something's burning." Ben spoke his realization. He didn't know whether to be angry or concerned. Both feelings and the confusion of not knowing which feeling was the right one gave Ben a twisting in his gut. He shouldn't have left Joe alone. That boy could not be trusted. Nothing was on fire. Not yet. At least as far as he can tell. "Joseph!" He called out. Where was that boy? "Juh-" The boy emerged from the kitchen.

"Hi pa?" He greeted with a smile.

"What are you doing back there?" The boy looked behind himself before answering.

"I made dinner pa." He enounced seeking for approbation. The table was set with dishes but empty of food. They were perplexed but warmed by the effort. Although if that was dinner that smelled then they weren't sure how excited they should be about eating it. Though their bellies did ache. "Sit down. I'll bring it out." They hesitantly took their seats around the table. Joe brought out the first dish. Green beans swimming in some sort of white gravy. "I would have had it on the table already but I wasn't sure when you'd be home and I didn't want it to get cold." The aroma was surprisingly inoffensive. Roast beef was the second plate he brought out. Red pieces cut in thin slices piled high on the plate and still steaming. To their amusement he went back for a third plate. Mashed potatoes brought out in a casserole bowl. How cute he looked with the dishrag flung over his shoulder. He stopped for a moment at the corner between his pa and Adam. "I'm sorry for yelling at you pa."

"Oh son. Is that what all this is about?" He lowered his head remorseful. "I forgive you." Ben pulled him in and planted a kiss at the top of his head. "It's all but forgotten." Joe smiled softly. "Now get that plate on the table before you drop it." He moved around Adam to the other end. He had difficulty getting the heavy dish to the center of the table but did it, with little aid from Adam. To Ben's observation, none of these dishes emanated a foul odor. So then, what was that burning smell?

"Joe. I think you might be burning something. Did you check the stove?"

Joe's pride melted away then. "Joe? Did you burn something?" Did he cook all this to hide some other misdeed?

"I burnt the bread." His look was sorrowful. Ben smiled. Joe escaped back into the kitchen and brought out the burnt rolls. "I wasn't sure when you'd be home. I guess I kept them in there a little too long." He could have cried right there had the family not reassured him. They gave him thanks and praises all around.

"That's okay Joe. The rest of this looks delicious." Joe's face lit up at his father accolade. "Come sit down. Join us?" He rushed back into the kitchen with the burnt rolls and came back empty handed, forgetting to take the rag off his shoulder until he was back at the table and not sure what to do with it, deciding finally to set it on the table between his pa and Adam. He then went around and took the chair next to Hoss.

Joe watched them keenly as they dug in. He watched so intently they had to remind him to put food on his own plate. Hoss helped him with this then went right back to eating. The boy continued to watch them as they ate.

It wasn't Hopsing's cooking, but they had to admit, it wasn't terrible. Unfortunately, they'd have to endure a few more meals without their beloved cook, as they had left him back in California after the drive so he could spend more time with his family. The meat was a bit dry and so were the potatoes but that was probably due to sitting on the stove for some length. 'Tolerable' would be the best word to describe the meal, though 'delicious' was the word they used. 'Fantastic' and 'wonderful' were used to commend his effort.

~.~

Joe's been different since they brought him home. Hoss couldn't help but notice. When they picked him up days ago. He greeted them all with a soft smile. He made pa proud with how respectful he was and helpful. They were all exhausted from the journey but pa was so anxious to hear from Joe. To talk to him, to hear how he's been. He asked him lots of questions, to which Joe answered simply (for the most part) keeping his answers short.

"Did you get to do all the things you wanted to do?" Their pa asked.

"He took us hiking that very first day. We went up to Swallow's Flat. It was beautiful there."

This was the longest answer he'd given.

Hoss had ridden back in the bed of the cart with Joe. Their pa at the reins and Adam at his side. Joe had spent the ride back, when he wasn't answering questions, gliding his eyes from one kin then to another, spending ample time staring at each one; as he had done the night before and he was starting to do again.

~.~

Ben and Adam went on to discuss the dealings of the day, and their next step. A conversation Joe didn't seem to understand. Something about a county inspector but hiring their own inspectors, not knowing if the investigators that were down there now were on the up and up.

This was a conversation Hoss didn't appear to want to partake in either, for he set about to poke Joe playfully in his side. Joe flinched and looked up into his face. He flew his eyes over to his pa's, who seemed not to notice. He looked back at Hoss who bore a playful grin. Joe seemed to be confused by what was going on here. His older brother was being ornery and trying to get him too be ornery too. Why would he do this? Why was he trying to get him to play at the dinner table? Joe shook his head subtly. He nodded to his pa as a warning for Hoss to stop. Hoss picked up on the warning but seemed to be lost in the why? Joe saw Hoss wasn't about to heed to this because his smile broadened ruefully. He jerked away as Hoss came in for another. The boys elbow met his glass, sending it shattering to the floor. He instantly looked to his pa. Immense fear seeping from his eyes.

The conversation had indeed stopped as they were all looking at Joe now.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry." The boy said, talking over his pa.

"It's okay. Adam will help you clean it up."

"I'm sorry pa. Please I'm sorry." He was acting as if he wasn't even hearing his pa. Adam went to stand and the boy bolted from his chair and backed himself against the wall, drawing his arms up in surrender. "No, please."

"Joe. What has gotten into you? It was just an accident." But his son hadn't heard him. Ben cautioned Adam away with a wave of his hand and decided that he should go to his boy instead. This decision had been a mistake because the moment Ben stood, Joe collapsed to his knees balling up.

"Please don't hurt me!" He supplicated. "Please. I'm sorry pa! I'll do better! I swear, I'll do better!" The boy flinched as Ben knelt down and touched his shoulders. His body was trembling as he kept his face hidden.

"Boy, nobody is going to hurt you here. You're safe." He pulled his boy's shoulders, to which his boy gave in and wrapped his arms around him and wept. The pater nodded to Adam and Hoss, who watched the display with wide eyes, bidding them to clean the mess. He picked his boy up off the floor and carried him to the settee. He held him, Joe's forehead buried in the crook of his neck, and rocked him, and stroked his hair and whispered words of assurances.

Hoss and Adam worked on the floor, cleaning up the water and all the broken glass. They locked eyes with each other as they worked. In this silent language Hoss asking his elder brother, 'what was that all about?' His brother responding with a shrug of the shoulders.

The boy didn't move. He continued to keep a tight hold around his pa. As if giving it up would be giving up this version of his pa and he so desperately didn't want to give up this version of his pa.

After several minutes of holding his son, Ben asked. "Would you like to finish dinner?" The boy shook his head. "Would you like to go to bed?" He nodded but didn't move. After waiting a minute more with Joe who had failed to leave his pa's lap, he asked, "Would you like me to take you to bed?" Joe answered with another nod. He hadn't remembered the last time he'd carried his son to bed. He'd forgotten how good this felt and how much he'd grown to miss this. He pushed himself off the couch and carried his delicate boy up the stairs.

Joe's room was dark. It took skill and agility to pull the matchbook from the drawer, pull it open, take out a single match from among the others, light it (it took three strikes to get it to light), open the lantern, light the wick, close the lantern, blow out the match and turn up the wick; all single handed as Joe was being held by his other arm and showed no interest in being let down. With the room lighted Ben took Joe to his bed and sat him upon his mattress but still Joe refused to release his hold. Ben didn't force the issue. He melted back into the embrace, on one knee now, and continued to hold his son. He wasn't sure what's gotten into his boy. The worst case of home-sickness and missing one's family he's ever seen. Then again Little Joe did have an astounding empathetic and loving nature about him.

A low tremble remained. As he held his son, he moved his cheek into Joe's head to show him he was very much a part of this moment. When he did, he was able to see down the back of Joe's shirt, just as far to the base of his neck. Though illuminated, some parts remained in an unnatural shadow. Without releasing his hold, he gently pulled down the back of Joe's shirt past the base of his neck. The shadow affect did not dissipate. At this he broke away and stood to get a better look.

"What happened to you son?" The boy didn't answer, instead, his son's eyes drifted into his bed sheets. Ben was looking at coined shaped bruises. A few dotted the left side of his neck. A greater multitude lined his right. Bruises weren't new to Joe. He's been in school fights on a number of occasions. In fact, a couple of weeks before school had let out and they'd left on the drive, Joe had made some enemies by defending the Tomlinson boy. It appeared now that the Jaxon gang wasn't too keen on letting the matter go. They'd hurt his son. He just knew it.

~.~

"I think we should get the doc." Ben suggested after he had told Adam, who was waiting outside of Joe's room for answers, of his findings.

"For what pa? For a few small bruises on his neck?"

"We don't know that's all there is."

"You saw down his back and chest. There was nothing."

"I saw what I could see. What he let me see."

"You could look at the boy and tell he's fine."

"He's not fine!" Ben snapped. "There's something wrong with him." He averred with some fervor.

"Whatever it is, it's not physical." The erudite gainsaid. "There's nothing for the doc to fix."

"For once I wish you wouldn't argue!" His father attacked him as if to say this was something he did often. "I just wish you'd do as I ask." He added flummoxed. "Now, would you please just go into town and get the damned doc?!" He pushed adamantly.

Adam had flushed at his father's admonishment but worked at pushing it away. This wasn't about him right now. He understood his father's need to help Joe, but with a loss for answers his father didn't really know how. Leave it to the professionals. Right now, this was all his pa knew to do. Adam conceded.

~.~

The night was long. The men waited patiently downstairs letting the doc work on Joe alone.

Doctor Travis was in his late 30's. A gentle soul with kind eyes. When told of the reason for his beckoning he took it with humility. He'd been in with Joe for going on an hour now. Finally, he came downstairs. They gathered around to hear what the doc had to say.

"He was hesitant in letting me examine him." He began. "I was able to coax him into it a bit at a time. It was slow going. We took it with baby steps. Even still he remained guarded throughout. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why."

"You did see the bruises on his neck?" Ben asked expectantly.

"I did, but there wasn't much else I could find. His knees showed scrapes. Normal wear and tear for a boy his age and one as active as he."

"Was there anything else?"

"Yes. But like I said, not much."

"Well, what else was there?" Hoss probed.

"He did have a few more bruises." At Ben's worry the doc mollified. "Weeks old. Long faded now. What I was seeing was the last of them and what was there appeared to have been minor in their prime. His wrist showed some abnormalities and so did his forearms."

"What abnormalities?"

"The skin around his wrist appeared raw, chaffed. Some discoloring. His forearms showed tiger striped shading, a bit on his back as well. Again, not new. He had some friction marks on his back hips and the back of his neck. The worst injury I could see was a laceration on his palm."

"Tomlinson said he cut himself on some glass."

"That must have happened a while ago as well. The scab that was there is mostly flaked off."

"So, what's wrong with him then?"

"Physically not much."

"But there is something wrong with him." The doc lowered his head in consternation and sighed.

"You're right Ben. He doesn't appear to be himself. Have you tried asking him?"

"I asked him. He didn't say a word."

The doc nodded in accord. "I asked too. He didn't seem too fond of opening up to me either. I just assumed that he probably didn't feel comfortable talking to someone in a professional coat. That maybe he'd feel more comfortable talking to you." Ben felt at a loss.

"Are you all done here?" Hoss asked.

"There's nothing more I could do for him tonight. Of course, if he does get worse then feel free to call on me." The doc said in a complying, sympathetic but exhausted manner.

"Would you like some coffee before you go?" Ben asked picking up on his weariness and wishing to do what he could to make up for calling him out at this time of night for what the doc might have deemed such a minuscule matter. A couple of hours ago when he had Adam go retrieve him, the world was falling. Now he realized that Adam was right and it might have waited until morning. The doc was too kind to admit that.

"No thank you." He respectfully declined. "I'd really just like to head home." He walked out leaving the men with their thoughts.

~.~

"I'm sorry Pa. It was my fault Joe broke the glass. I was playing with him, poking him in his side. He tried to tell me not to but I just didn't listen. That whole thing was my fault. He's just been so sore lately." He justified. "I was just trying to get him to lighten up."

"This wasn't your fault. I'm afraid this wasn't about the glass. Something else spooked him tonight. I'm not sure what it was."

"I know." Adam exclaimed. They looked to him to explain. "Who's the one person that's capable of this? It's got to be Jaxon."

"We don't know that."

"Think about it. He's the one person that's got a grudge against Joe. He did that to him. Joe got in that fight before we left and somehow, he got his revenge."