Squirrelpaw couldn't find her clanmates.
She wasn't sure how long she'd been searching for, but no matter where she looked she just couldn't find them. It was the dead of night, the twoleg paths and the alleyways were completely empty. Usually there'd be loners, masked animals, the occasional twoleg. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. No sound. No life. The towering twoleg dens were even more suffocating than normal. Closing in all around Squirrelpaw the farther she ran. Her own voice echoing out to her as she cried out for her family.
"Graystripe! Sandstorm!" she called, struggling to breathe, the shadows all around her grew darker. The artificial lights of the twoleg place slowly getting swallowed by those shadows. She could hardly see anything. The darkness was viscous, as dark and as filthy as the puddles she was sometimes forced to drink from.
"Leafpaw! LEAFPAW!" Squirrelpaw wailed. Where was her sister? She needed to find Leafpaw, she needed to keep her sister safe.
Squirrelpaw's cries went unanswered, she was all alone in this nightmare and it felt like there was no way out. She ran. Ran wildly and without any sort of direction. She ran as the shadows began to swallow the very world. The moon and the stars were gone, the stony path she ran on was starting to shrink. What was happening? She needed to find a way out-
Straight ahead, Squirrelpaw saw a bright, glinting light. It grew brighter the more she ran. It was a cat, the cat she'd seen back in the garden.
She couldn't make out his face, only his flaming ginger pelt. It cut through the dark, the shadows could not touch him, not even as he turned away and ran.
"Wait! Please wait!" Squirrelpaw screeched, running faster. She wasn't sure how she knew , but she could just sense that this cat would lead her to safety. His figure was faint, barely discernible as he ran through the seemingly endless alleyway. Leaving glittering pawprints in his wake, pawprints she followed as she kept running.
There was nothing now, nothing but darkness all around her, waiting for her to slip up. To slow down for just a second, before she'd be snatched up and swallowed just like her clanmates. She kept running, panting hard, following the stranger who seemed to guide her. The distant light he was running for was growing larger and larger, she was almost there, almost-
It wasn't gradual, it was sudden. She expected the light to wash over her gradually like the sunrise, instead Squirrelpaw felt as if she'd blinked and was suddenly within the heart of an inferno. The world was a painful, blinding white. She had to shut her eyes to try and ease the pain. The steady ground beneath her paws faded and she was falling, falling, falling…
Then, the world went quiet. She wasn't falling any longer, instead she was laying on something soft. But it didn't feel like the grass she was used to. This wasn't the short and itchy kind she had grown accustomed to when traversing twoleg gardens. It was soft; caressing her fur in gentle and slow movements. Movement that came from the equally gentle breeze. And the air, oh the air! It was wonderful, it was clean and it filled her lungs magnificently.
Slowly, Squirrelpaw opened her eyes, gasping at the sight that lay before. She was laying on a grassy hill, overlooking a distant but gorgeous forest. She saw twoleg place, she saw another area she didn't recognize. Clearly twoleg made, but instead of dens there were loud, stationary monsters. So loud she could hear them even from such a distance. She could see thick trees forming a forest, could see a large and powerful river cutting through the wood. She saw a thunderpath that cut off the forest from dark marshland. Then there, as far as her eyes could see, there was moorland.
This… she knew this place. She had never glimpsed it herself but she'd heard it enough in stories. The warriors were reluctant to speak about the past but the one thing they always embellished in tales was their old home. The home of the four clans.
Finally, Squirrelpaw caught sight of the stranger, standing many tail lengths ahead of her, staring out at the old forest territory. He turned to her, but his face was still obscured, she couldn't even see his eyes. What she did see was his muzzle moving, he was speaking, but she could hear nothing.
"Who are you?" Squirrelpaw asked, standing up, stepping closer, desperate to hear whatever he had to say "What do you want!?"
The cat opened his mouth again, and this time she heard an actual sound. But there were no words. Instead the cat let out an ear splitting caterwaul. The sound cut right through her and in the blink of an eye, the image was gone and she was surrounded by darkness-
Squirrelpaw leapt awake almost violently. The sound in her dreams was so vivid, so terrifying, because it hadn't been coming from her dream at all. Leafpaw groaned and stumbled up from beside her, shaking her head "What's goin' on?" she asked, blinking to shake off the sleep.
Squirrelpaw glanced around wildly to locate the source of the noise, pushing Leafpaw down into the nest beneath her "Stay down!" she said, by now the warriors around them were all leaping to their paws as well, gazes scanning the camp frantically.
"What's going on!?" Thornclaw scrambled and practically fell out of his nest hissing. He was nearly knocked over by Brambleclaw who had raced from his nest near the far wall to find the source of the sound
"Are we under attack!?" the amber eyed, tabby tom demanded.
"No! No, calm down everyone!" It was Willowpelt who threw herself in front of Brambleclaw and Thornclaw before they could go racing off to fight whatever was causing the caterwauling. The gray she-cat motioned with her head towards the nests where their sickest cats lay "It's… another nightmare."
Squirrelpaw knew what Willowpelt meant before she even looked. Longtail was up in his nest, bristling as he stared at poor Brightheart, who was the source of the caterwauling. His face scrunched with sympathy and sadness despite the tension in his body. The white and ginger she-cat was thrashing madly in her nest, screeching with her eye open and mad with terror. She had started swiping at Cinderpelt, who was trying to calm her down.
"Brightheart! Brightheart it's ok! It's just a nightmare!" Cinderpelt's words were doing nothing to help. The scarred warrior would not stop hissing and spitting. Even though she was seemingly awake the nightmares that plagued her would not leave. A particular swing of her claws nearly caught Cinderpelt's muzzle, forcing others to step in.
"Brightheart stop! You're going to hurt someone!" Sandstorm was awake and rushing over to Brightheart's side, Graystripe right behind her as the leader and deputy forcefully held the she-cat down. Her writhing and squirming only increased tenfold, but her weakened body was no match against the two warriors. Longtail had shakily pulled himself out of his nest, crouching beside her ears with Cinderpelt, the pair murmuring soft mews of comfort Squirrelpaw's ears could not make out. Slowly but surely her breathing began to even out. That half crazed look in her eye faded and she began to cease her fighting. Steadily her exhausted body began to go limp.
"Ugh, another one, how're we supposed to get any rest when we're woken up like this every other day," Thornclaw grumbled, turning away and angrily fixing his nest. The thin and wilting moss had been disturbed in his desperate scramble to face what he thought had been danger.
"Have some empathy," Willowpelt admonished him, her tail tip twitching with annoyance "The poor thing has suffered a lot."
"Yeah, so have the rest of us," Thornclaw didn't seem ashamed, wiggling into his nest to get comfortable. It was a difficult endeavor since the subpar moss did little to make the hard dirt floor comfortable "But you don't see me waking everyone up screaming every other night."
"That's not fair Thornclaw," Goldenflower was the one who spoke up next, coming up to stand beside Willowpelt "She can't exactly help it. Be a little more compassionate."
Thornclaw scoffed, looking at her over his shoulder now "Right, as if I'm going to take advice on being compassionate from you, a cat who was mates with a murderer," he snarled, burying his head beneath his tail and seemingly intent on getting some sleep.
That caught Squirrelpaw by surprise, what was Thornclaw talking about? Sweet and kind Goldenflower being mates with a murderer? Frustration much more intense then before crawled up her spine, yet another tale from the past she was clueless about.
The yellow she-cat seemed ready to just turn away and let it go, but her son wasn't. Brambleclaw gave a furious snarl of his own, standing in front of the nest with his back arched. He looked ready to shred Thornclaw to pieces "You wanna say that again you piece of fox-dung?!" he demanded.
Thornclaw's head shot up, the rest of his body puffing up with the same quickness. Seemingly intent on fighting if Brambleclaw wanted to "You heard me! Your mother; the mate of a murderer and a traitor! You; the son of one!"
"Brambeleclaw don't-" Goldenflower stepped forward but neither toms were listening. Willowpelt looked nervously between brown cats. Brakenfur, who was still a few tail lengths away in his nest, was watching the argument with growing apprehension. His own pelt beginning to puff up as well.
Bramebleclaw growled, bearing his teeth. Thornclaw answered in kind, unsheathing his claws. Both cats were tense and prepared to pounce. Low yowling sounds climbing up their throats and growing louder with each passing second.
Squirrelpaw scrambled out of her nest, ignoring her sister's quiet insistence that she just stay put. Things were hard enough for their clan as it was. They did not need infighting. If they wanted to act like kits then Squirrelpaw had no problem throwing herself into the fray.
"Stop it!" she cried, leaping between them, the warriors looking momentarily startled that the apprentice had put herself in the middle "Fighting isn't going to solve anything!"
"Stay out of this Squirrelpaw…" Bramebleclaw warned in a low and dangerous voice, but she stared back at him defiantly, she wasn't scared of him. Thornclaw just a bit, but not Brambleclaw. She let her own fur puff up, an attempt to appear a bit bigger and less like an apprentice instead of an actual attempt at intimidation.
"No! You two are fighting over nothing!" she insisted, her head whipping around to Thornclaw when he laughed humorlessly.
"'Over nothing?'" Thornclaw asked with barely concealed rage "Of course you'd say that, you don't know anything. You were able to avoid it all. All the death, all the loss, you don't know anything about what we've all gone through!" he hissed, stepping closer to her, his claws still unsheathed.
Squirrelpaw gritted her teeth, wanting to lash back out. Standing firm and refusing to move even as he advanced. It wasn't her fault they'd all suffered, at least they had memories. At least they had actually lived in the forest. It was so infuriating hearing all these wonderful stories about how great it was when all she had was the horrid twoleg place. She opened her mouth to say so, but another more authoritative voice cut through the air.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Graystripe bellowed as he thundered over, causing Thornclaw and Brambeclaw to shrink back "How old are you? Why is the apprentice the one being forced to keep a pair of warriors from acting like kits?!"
"He started it!" Brambleclaw insisted "he insulted my mother-"
"And he's trying to pick a fight over a few words," Thornclaw cut right in "Seems you inherited that bloodlust and need for violence after all!"
"Why you-" Brambleclaw's amber eyes were practically burning with fury; he stepped forward just as Thornclaw braced for the impact of whatever attack was coming. But Graystripe forcefully shoved himself in between the two cats, standing beside Squirrelpaw as he looked at them furiously.
"I don't care who started it!" he snapped "You shouldn't be fighting at all! You're clanmates! We have enough to worry about as it is, don't add to our burdens by fighting each other," he turned a scowl to Thornclaw now "Disperse, both of you, now."
Graystripe's voice made it clear he would not tolerate any more arguments. Not even Brambleclaw's anger was enough to make him talk back to his leader. He growled under his breath as he turned and stalked away, heading for the far wall, his tail still lashing behind him. Goldenflower sighed as she padded after her son. The two sitting together, away from the rest of the clan, speaking in quiet voices, clearly arguing.
Thornclaw scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he too kept his jaws shut. Instead racing for the tunnel and crawling out. No light came from the tunnel, so Squirrelpaw could guess it was still early in the morning. Before the sun had even risen.
Graystripe sighed, looking at Squirrelpaw "Are you alright?"
Squirrelpaw nodded, glancing over at where Bramebleclaw and Goldenflower were huddled, looking back at Graystripe "I'm fine… But… What did Thornclaw mean by what he said… That she's the mate and he's the son of a murderer?" she asked.
Graystripe gave another tired sigh "I'd hoped you wouldn't learn this so soon but I suppose there's no avoiding it… Goldenflower was mates with Tigerstar, and Brambleclaw is their son."
Squirrelpaw couldn't help it, she gasped and her eyes went wide, her fur bristling up. Tigerstar? The Tigerstar. While there were still many things about the old forest she didn't know, the name of Tigerstar was something she did. He was the one who'd betrayed ThunderClan. He'd tried to wipe them out with a pack of dogs. He brought BloodClan to the forest, was killed by its leader. He was why they were here. He was the reason why Squirrelpaw couldn't call the forest home.
Goldenflower had been his mate, and Brambleclaw was his son.
She couldn't help it, looking over nervously at where the pair were again. Nearly jumping out of her pelt when she made eye contact with Brambleclaw. He was glaring at her, a scowl scrunching up his face as he held her gaze for just a moment. Turning away sharply. Was he listening to their conversation?
"Why did you never tell me!?" Squirrelpaw asked incredulously. Was that why he was always picking fights with her? Did he resent her because her father was Firestar?
"Because Brambleclaw is not his father, he looks just like him but he's a good and loyal warrior," Graystripe's voice was stern. "He suffers enough scrutiny for what his father did. I didn't want you to develop that same prejudice. Brambleclaw has proved himself time and time again. He openly defied his father before that final battle and fought against BloodClan alongside us. I know you don't get along with him, but he is not Tigerstar."
Part of Squirrelpaw was tempted to insist otherwise. Brambleclaw seemed to enjoy riling her up and arguing with her. He also acted like he was better than her, just because she was an apprentice and he was a warrior. He couldn't seem to help picking fights with her all the time.
But… if she was honest, that didn't make him a bad cat. He was absolutely an arrogant furball but… he was her clanmate. He never complained about hunger, never lamented about being tired. He just performed his duties with a relentlessness she desperately wanted to surpass. Even if he also did it with the smugness of a cat in charge instead of a regular warrior. She didn't like him, but she knew if it came to it she could trust him. Because he was a Thunderclan cat. He was not Tigerstar.
"You're right…" she finally said with a nod "He's not Tigerstar," knowing the truth now, she couldn't help feeling a bit indignant on his behalf. It was unfair to be treated like his father when he'd done nothing to deserve it. Well, nothing murderous or clan-destroying. Sadly being an annoying know-it-all intent on constantly letting her know what she was doing wrong wasn't technically evil. If Thornclaw had started a fight over that she wouldn't have intervened, she might've even joined him. After giving his ears a swipe over what he'd said about Brightheart that is.
Graystripe's face lit up with something akin to pride, but not quick enough to stop more words from tumbling out "He's just arrogant, annoying Brambleclaw."
Her mentor and leader promptly deflated at how quickly her moment of maturity ended.
She looked back towards Brambleclaw and Goldenflower but was surprised to see that they had separated. Goldenflower was sitting and speaking with Willowpelt and Brambleclaw was gone. There wasn't anywhere to hide in camp so he must've left. She could only hope he and Thornclaw would keep their distance from one another and not start another fight.
Graystripe did seem relieved that she seemed to understand, despite her second comment. Smiling down at her and lifting a paw to once again ruffle her ears. Squirrelpaw instantly swatted at his paws, her fur bristling up.
"Graystripe!" she couldn't help but wail in annoyance. Why was he always doing that? It made her feel like a kit when she wasn't a kit! She was an apprentice!
Graystripe just purred in amusement, his whiskers twitching at her outburst "It's adorable how angry you get," he teased her lightly, shaking his head and then his pelt. The goofy smile on his face sobered up as he looked down at her "Alright, we'll do some training soon, first I've got some patrols to organize first," he said, padding away. It was still early, too early to be awake, but it seemed no one was going back to sleep after such a startling wake up call.
Squirrelpaw turned to face the source of said wake up call. Her heart clenching at the sight of Leafpaw and Cinderpelt on either side of Brightheart, attempting to calm the she-cat down from her panic attack. Sandstorm had left to assist Graystripe, while Longtail was back in his nest, watching Brightheart with tired but concerned eyes. The yowling from Brightheart had caused restless energy to settle into Squirrelpaw's fur. She was tempted to head outside and practice some hunting crouches or battle moves. But it felt wrong to leave when Brightheart was clearly suffering. She would not be as dismissive as Thornclaw when it came to a clanmate's pain.
She knew there wasn't much she could do but maybe Brightheart could find comfort in knowing other cats cared. Padding over, Brightheart jumped at the presence of another cat, burrowing deeper into the nest as Leafpaw and Cinderpelt looked over at her.
"Hey Brightheart," Squirrelpaw greeted, putting on a gentle smile, doing her best to be as comforting as possible "Are you alright…? That… That must've been some nightmare…"
Brightheart flinched at the mention of the nightmare, but did her best to put on a brave face as she smiled right back "It… It certainly was… I'm sorry for waking all of you I-" the white and ginger she-cat's ears flattened, her claws tearing at the nest in guilt "I'm sorry for being a burden."
It was clear she'd overheard the argument earlier. Squirrepaw's pelt and tail bristled up, shooting a look towards the tunnel Thornclaw had exited from before turning back at Brightheart "Don't listen to a word he or anyone says Brightheart, you can't control these nightmares, it's not your fault."
"She's right," Leafpaw's gentle mew joined in as she rubbed her head against Brightheart's shoulder. "You are not a burden, these nightmare's will pass, they can't last forever."
Brightheart didn't look convinced, her eyes glazing over as she just sighed, letting her head droop onto her paws. Her voice was cracked and strained with exhaustion. "I can't sleep, everytime I close my eyes all I see and hear is-" she wheezed out "death."
Cinderpelt looked just as exhausted as she sighed, standing up and looking pleadingly at the ginger she-cat "Squirrelpaw can you-"
Cinderpelt didn't need to ask twice, Squirrelpaw was up and moving before the medicine cat could finish. Laying down and pressing her pelt against Brightheart.
"Give me a paw Leafpaw, we're going to prepare some poppy seeds," Leafpaw obliged, standing and following her mentor.
Squirrelpaw sighed, resting her head against Brightheart. These nightmares and her lack of sleep must be serious if it meant Cinderpelt was going to give her poppyseeds. Herbs were hard to come by in the twoleg place. Cinderpelt avoided using any unless it was an absolute emergency. As far as Squirrelpaw was concerned, this was an emergency. Who knew how long Brightheart would last at this rate? Sleeping for only a few fitful hours before she was woken up by vivid nightmares, screaming out in terror. Squirrelpaw couldn't even imagine how tortuous it was. She felt so useless. All the skills she'd been learning yet she could do nothing for Brightheart. She couldn't exactly fight off nightmares, though she would've been willing to try if it were at all possible.
"What are your nightmares about?" Squirrelpaw asked in a quiet voice, pressing closer as she felt Brightheart's shivering increase "Maybe if you talk about it, you'll feel better?" she was met with silence, Brightheart still staring into space. Where did she go when her eyes glazed over? Did she just float in nothingness? Did it soothe the pain? Squirrelpaw hoped so, if only to give Brightheart a respite.
"Brightheart?" she coaxed, keeping her voice soft, the same way Sandstorm's voice was soft when she would speak to her and Leafpaw.
"Quiet!" a sharp hiss from Longtail had her nearly jumping out of the nest. Longtail had been trying to fall back asleep, and she guessed he was annoyed by the noise they were making. But he surprised her by instead saying "She's suffered enough, she doesn't need a nosy apprentice asking stupid questions-"
Squirrelpaw frowned, wanting to snap at being called nosy and stupid. She didn't care if he was a warrior. What right did he have to speak to her like that?
"It's ok Longtail…" Brightheart reassured in a tired voice. Cutting off any retaliation from Squirelpaw. The tabby didn't look pleased but said nothing else as she continued "I don't dream of BloodClan," Brightheart finally croaked out, still staring unblinkingly ahead "The others do but I… I dream of the dogs," she was shivering more fiercely now, looking around nervously as if said dogs would burst from the dirt just to tear her apart.
"Dogs…?" Squirrelpaw asked, momentarily confused before she remembered. Unconsciously glancing at Brightheart's scarred face "You mean-"
"Those dogs yes," Brightheart confirmed, before she managed a small, barely visible smile "You might not remember… but when you were a moon old you waddled right up to me and asked me what happened to my face."
Squirrelpaw felt her pelt burn with embarrassment. She actually did remember that. She also vividly remembered the scolding Sandstorm had given her upon asking such a rude question "I do, im sorry,"
Brightheart managed a croaking purr "You were a kit, you didn't know any better… besides, I wasn't bothered because you weren't scared. I remember your sister was scared of me," Brighheart's smile waned "Even other cats were scared of me after… after I was scarred…"
"Those cats are mouse-brained…" Longtail growled, taking Squirrelpaw by surprise again, but she kept her focus on Brightheart, who seemed to smile just a bit at the comment. A frown was quick to tug her expression back down.
"By dogs… the ones… Tigerstar lured into ThunderClan territory," it was a story Squirrelpaw's mother had told her in the hopes it would keep her kits from bothering Brightheart about her scars further. It hadn't exactly worked because Squirrepaw, then Squirrelkit, would follow after Brightheart like a second tail. So impressed by such a fearsome and brave warrior who fought a dog pack off and lived to tell the tale.
Brightheart nodded, and her mind seemed to be following the same line of thought, because she purred again "I never minded you asking because you made me feel braver than I actually was… Then I actually am ," she sighed, her eye half closing into that familiar vacant stare "But I'm terrified. Everytime I close my eyes, all I see are dogs. I can hear the endless barking, smell their rancid breath… I see them tearing Swiftpaw apart and I can't stop it," her voice broke down into sobs.
Squirrelpaw gasped, resting her head on top of Brightheart's. Swiftpaw? The name sounded vaguely familiar but she couldn't place from where. He must have been there with Brightheart and he must've died. She didn't turn to look, but heard Longtail breathe in a sharp breath of air, had he known Swiftpaw too?
"It was out of your control," Squirrelpaw murmured "I wasn't there and I don't know what happened. But if I know anything, it's that it wasn't your fault. You are a brave warrior Brightheart, I know you must've done everything you could've to save Swiftpaw."
Brightheart's smile was a strained one, but seemed sincere. The light in her eyes remained dim however as she sighed. Falling silent again. Not believing the words of an apprentice who didn't understand.
Squirrelpaw tried not to feel frustrated. Brightheart was just hurting after all. Instead Squirrelpaw just remained pressed against Brightheart, doing her best to comfort her. Though to her surprise, Brightheart spoke again in a croaking mew.
"You sound just like Cloudtail…"
Cloudtail? Another name, one that was actually familiar. She'd heard it in passing, spoken by Thornclaw before. Moslyt in grumbles about 'kittypets shouldn't have been allowed to join in the first place'. Squirrelpaw lifted her head, tilting it as she stared at her clanmate.
"Cloudtail? Who's that?" She hadn't asked who Swiftpaw was, the name clearly invoked pain, and it was easy enough to guess who he was. But the name of Cloudtail brought something else. It seemed to bring comfort.
For the first time, Brightheart's face lit up into an expression of joy. Though one tinged with an equally powerful grief "My mate… he stayed with me through the nightmares. He never flinched when he saw me… he called me beautiful…" Squirrelpaw felt her heart breaking at the raw agony in her voice "I could sleep when he was with me. Now that he's gone… the nightmares won't stop…" he voice bubbles over into sobs "I miss him, I miss him so much!"
"I'm sorry," Squirrelpaw nuzzled fiercely at Brightheart's head, trying to soothe her. Softly repeating apologies, for what else could she say? How could she offer comfort for an agony she couldn't even fully understand? How would she react if she lost her mother? Or Graystripe? Or StarClan forbid, Leafpaw? She cursed herself for asking such invasive and clearly painful questions.
Cinderpelt finally came to her rescue. Limping over and dropping a pair of poppy seeds in front of the distressed cat.
"It's alright Brightheart, just eat these and you can get some rest," the medicine cat spoke in a calm, soothing tone. It was enough to ease her violent shaking. The scarred she-cat lifting her head to eye the seeds, clearly reluctant as she leaned forward and swallowed them down. It didn't take long for sleep to take hold. Her blinking grew slow and uneven, the tremors of her sobbing fading until the only movement Squirrelpaw could feel was the steady rise and fall of her chest.
Finally, Brightheart was asleep, and unlike before it seemed to be a deeper and more restful sleep. The kind that only came from poppy seeds.
Cinderpelt sighed, looking relieved as she sat down, smiling gratefully at Squirrelpaw "Thanks for sitting with her. The poor thing barely dozes before she's woken up by some nightmare or other."
Squirrelpaw said nothing, it didn't feel right accepting praise for just being there for a clanmate. Instead she stood up, climbing out of the nest as Leafpaw came up beside Cinderpelt. Her sister looked just as stressed as the medicine cat. Not surprising, since Squirrelpaw had watched Leafpaw throw herself into medicine cat duties with the same ferocity she herself did with training.
"Is it really a good idea to give her poppy seeds to sleep?" Leafpaw asked, her ears twitching downwards "I thought they were just for cats in pain?"
Squirrelpaw bristled, answering before Cinderpelt could "Leafpaw, she is in pain."
Leafpaw sighed "I know, but I mean pain from injuries," she looked to Cinderpelt "You told me it wasn't good to give poppyseeds to cats who weren't actually injured."
Cinderpelt shook her head "It isn't… but I don't know what else to do," the gray she-cat looked nervously around, as if expecting to be reprimanded for admitting that to the apprentices. Squirrelpaw didn't dare move nor speak, worried Cinderpelt would stop talking otherwise. It was rare for any of them to admit to their troubles when around Leafpaw or Squirrelpaw. The latter thought it was ridiculous, since they all lived in a hole and Squirrelpaw could often count the ribs along her clanmates' sides.
"She hardly sleeps nowadays… My mentor told me that cats who go too long without sleep… Their bodies can just give out. Brightheart needs sleep, that's the priority for now. If it takes poppy seeds… then so be it…" Cinderpelt seemed to remember who she was talking to, a pair of apprentices, because she gave them a somewhat forced smile "It'll be fine, she's sleeping now and that's what counts." she repeated, whether to convince herself or the two younger cats Squirrelpaw wasn't sure.
"But for now I need to get back to work," Cinderpelt seemed to always be busy with her duties. At least the warriors rested after returning from patrol. In contrast, the medicine cat was constantly checking, organizing, and restocking her stores. Why it took so much time, when said stores were always pitifully low, Squirrelpaw couldn't fathom. If she had to guess, it was more an excuse to feel busy, to feel like she was doing something useful, a feeling Squirrelpaw understood all too well.
"I'll help!" Leafpaw bounced up, but to Squirrelpaw's surprise, Cinderpelt dismissed her with a gentle wave of her tail.
"No, you were up late last night, go rest or… spend some time outside… just go be an apprentice," Cinderpelt insisted, that strained smile of hers flashing in an attempt to convince the tabby she-cat.
"But-" Leafpaw began to protest, but Squirrelpaw draped her own tail across her sister's back.
"Come on! She's right you've been working too hard," Squirrelpaw wasn't even sure what time it was when Leafpaw crawled into their shared nest, the ginger she-cat had been too exhausted to properly wake up and greet her sister then. She'd just scooted aside to let Leafpaw climb in "We can spend some time together."
That seemed to convince Leafpaw, who sighed but didn't fight. Saying goodbye to Cinderpelt before she followed her sister through the cramped, but also now empty, camp. The only other cats present were Willowpelt and Brackenfur, who'd been chosen to stay behind and stand guard while the rest had gone out to hunt. The pair sitting beside the entrance and watching the outside world with wary eyes.
Usually, Squirrelpw would've been frustrated that Graystripe had left her behind in camp instead of taking her out with him. But with the commotion of the morning sending her own thoughts into dark and turbulent territory, for once she was glad she'd been left behind.
"I feel like I'm the one who's usually telling you to relax," Leafpaw's mood lifted into something akin to amusement as Squirrelpaw urged her to lay down in their shared nest.
"That's cause you usually are," Squirrelpaw laughed, she was just as amused "But I guess some of that warrior wisdom is finally rubbing off on me!" she couldn't help but puff out her chest a bit with pride. An act that caused Leafpaw to fully devolve into a purr of laughter.
"You're ridiculous," she wrinkled her snout at Squirrelpaw "I'm pretty sure an apprentice of not even two moons isn't getting warrior wisdom just yet."
Sqirrelpaw rolled her eyes but didn't rise to the teasing, instead sitting in the nest beside Leafpaw. Her sister rested her head upon Squirrelpaw's own fluffy tail, her amber eyes already half closed. It was a bit cramped, sharing one nest, but Squirrelpaw preferred it. There wasn't enough moss around to completely chase away the chill of the hard dirt floor. Sharing body heat helped fight off that chill. Besides, it was nice to sleep curled up beside Leafpaw. It made it easy to pretend that they weren't stuck in some dug out hole beneath a crumbling twoleg den. She could imagine they were actually in the heart of a sprawling forest, where the entire clan truly belonged.
Leafpaw seemed tired enough to simply fall back asleep, and under normal circumstances Squirrelpaw would've been content to just let her. But now that the commotion had died down Squirrelpaw's mind was drifting back to the vivid dream she'd been awoken from.
She could still remember it, distinctly, could still feel the shadows closing in all around her, could see that distant light that signaled salvation. She'd had dreams before, but never had she been able to recall them with such detail. On top of all that though… was the cat she'd seen. He had seemed so real, and he looked familiar. He looked like the cat she'd seen in the garden.
It had been a few days since the incident with the dogs and in all that time Squirrelpaw still held firm in what she'd seen. There had been a cat in that garden. But now this same cat was in her dreams? He hadn't just seemed like some figment of her mind manifesting in a dream either, he seemed so real. He had led her out of the nightmare. Whatever surety she felt that she'd done the right thing had now been shaken. Was it a coincidence… or… or maybe..?
"Leafpaw?" her sister hummed in response to being called but her eyes had fallen shut. Squirrelpaw felt bad for rousing her sister before she could drop off into sleep but she needed answers "Have you ever had dreams from StarClan?"
Leafpaw's ears pricked and her eyes opened rather quickly, looking at her ginger colored sister "Dreams from StarClan?" there was a faint tone of wistfulness in her voice, an answer in itself that Leafpaw elaborated "No… CInderpelt said that back in the old forest I would've journeyed to the Moonstone with her and dreamed of StarClan then… but we can't exactly do that now."
Squirrelpaw had figured that much, but pressed on "But aren't medicine cats supposed to have dreams with StarClan regardless?"
Leafpaw's face scrunched up, her ears flattening "They're… supposed to. But Cinderpelt hasn't received any dreams from them. Neither have I," she shook her head "I've asked but Cinderpelt isn't sure why, she can only guess it's because we aren't anywhere near Moonstone."
Squirrelpaw tried not to feel frustrated at the lack of answers "Did she ever talk about what dreams from StarClan look like? How they feel?"
"How they feel?" Leafpaw repeated the question, staring at her sister now with eyes narrowed, ignoring the question now and posing her own "You've never been interested in medicine cats and StarClan before, why the interest now?"
Squirrelpaw looked away, feeling foolish. Of course her dreams weren't from StarClan. If neither Cinderpelt nor Leafpaw were getting dreams from them then why would she, an ordinary ThunderClan apprentice? Graystripe's comments about how she was a show off desperate to prove herself rang in her ears. Was he right? Was she twisting what was an ordinary dream into something much more fantastical?
"I'm just… curious is all," Squirrelpaw managed to say, evading the question somewhat. It wasn't exactly a lie. She was curious, she just didn't say why.
Leapaw didn't look convinced, though the look of suspicion softened as Leafpaw scooted closer to her sister, lifting a paw to place on Squirrelpaw's flank "You know you can talk to me if something is bothering you, right?"
It was tempting to explain the dream, her own doubts and worries, but Squirrelpaw kept her jaws shut. Leafpaw had enough to worry about, tending to Brightheart and Longtail on top of her training. She didn't need to pile her own problems on top of that. But Squirrelpaw did manage a smile, it was comforting enough to know her sister saw something was wrong and genuinely cared, but didn't want to push the subject.
"I'm ok," Squirrelpaw said, this time it was a lie "I promise."
A lie that Leafpaw either believed or was willing to accept for now, because she nodded and pressed herself into Squirrelpaw's side, coaxing her to fully lay down, the sisters curled up together in their shared nest of warmth and familial love. It was just a dream then, it had to be. A manifestation of her fears and her frustrations. Despite the questions still rolling around in her mind, the exhaustion from being woken up so early finally grew too strong to resist, and Squirrelpaw gave in to the dark. Allowing sleep to fall over her once again.
"Begin!"
Squirrelpaw yowled as she raced forward, eyes focused on Brackenfur, who was standing tensed on all four paws. The cream colored tom seemed to have anticipated her lunge, because he was quick to step back and pivot sharply on his paws. Squirrelpaw's own momentum had her careening past the younger warrior and landing hard on the stone floor.
Brackenfur took advantage of the fact her back was turned towards him, letting out his own yowl as he pounced, pinning Squirrelpaw to the ground before she could react. She growled and squirmed, but found herself unable to escape her clanmate's grasp. Graystripe watched her with repressed laughter as she squawked and twisted, letting her burn herself out a bit before she finally slumped.
"Squirrelpaw, we talked about this," Graystripe's voice grew closer as he stepped into her line of sight. He was smiling, but his voice made it clear she needed to listen "You can't just lunge at an opponent bigger than you."
Squirrelpaw huffed, going limp under Brackenfur. She knew that, but hadn't been able to beat Brackenfur yet, she'd hoped the element of surprise would give her the edge she needed to do it. That clearly wasn't the case; since she was pinned beneath him. Said tom purred with mirth, stepping off of her and allowing her to push herself up.
"You're just like Cinerpelt when she was a warrior apprentice," Brackenfur smiled "So determined and eager to learn but with none of the patience."
Squirrelpaw couldn't help but pout a bit, though she was quick to shake it off. Bouncing to all four paws "OK, let me try again," she smiled at Brackenfur "I'll beat you this time!"
Brackenfur looked towards Graystripe with a sideways look, one that betrayed his amusement. The gray tom nodded "Alright, let's try again, but try to actually remember some of what I taught you," a wisp of a teasing smile twitched at the end of his muzzle "I'm only the leader of ThunderClan and your mentor after all," he said with a grievous and exaggerated tone "...my advice is meant to actually help you get better."
That garnered a short huff of amusement, smiling at her mentor. Said mentor stepped away as Brackenfur hurried to his earlier position, Squirrelpaw turning to face him again, lowering herself into a battle crouch and taking a deep breath.
The sun had lowered itself halfway down the sky, sunset would be there soon. The slanted sunlight casting many long and dark shadows across the lot their camp led into. A sign of the day approaching its end. Squirrelpaw had been roused from her nap with Leafpaw by the warriors returning from the respective patrols. Even though it was the case everyday, Squirrelpaw couldn't help but feel disappointed when she saw the meager pickings her clanmates had returned with. It wasn't their fault, she didn't blame them. They couldn't find twoleg gardens with rabbits everyday after all. But swallowing a mouse that was more bone than meat had left a hollow feeling in her stomach.
She had asked Graystripe if they could go out hunting again, claiming she wanted more practice, but Graystripe had informed her she'd be doing more battle training. He'd switched up their regiment to be more battle centric than ever since her encounter with the dogs.
It was funny, when she was a kit she had dreamed about battle training. Her imagination filled with heroic scenes of her facing off against enemies to defend her clan. But now that she was an apprentice, and seeing the toll this place was taking on her clanmates, she was filled with the restless desire to get out there and find food for them. Battle training seemed like a waste of time in comparison. What would it matter? Knowing how to fight if she and the rest of ThunderClan could barely stand due to starvation.
But she didn't voice those complaints, because despite it all she did enjoy her battle training. And despite the fact she hadn't actually been able to beat any of the warriors in battle training just yet, she just knew she was improving.
Squirrelpaw pressed herself close to the stone ground, watching as Brackenfur did the same. He was a kind cat, but was a skilled warrior in his own right. She enjoyed training with him, especially since he'd been Graystripe's apprentice as well. Though really anyone was leagues better than being forced to train with Brambleclaw.
"Ready?" Graystripe called, standing a few tail lengths away, an equal distance away from both Squirrelpaw and Brakenfur. The latter calling out an affirmative as Squirrelpaw nodded.
"Alright, Begin!"
This time it was Brackenfur who exploded into movement upon hearing the call. Rapidly closing the distance between them and leaping for Squirrelpaw with paws outstretched.
Squirrelpaw threw herself forward, ducking beneath Brackenfur as he landed where she'd previously stood. Having learned her lesson from before, Squirrelpaw pivoted, facing him again and swiping for his flank. Her paws hit him hard, and she noted with great satisfaction that she would've raked him badly if her claws had been unsheathed. His body moved with the momentum of her hit, spinning to face her again. The two cats now circling.
Admittedly, despite her own decent performance, her fur was bristling with annoyance "Why is it okay for Brackenfur to just rush at me but not when I do the same!?" she asked a little indignantly, making sure she kept an eye on her clanmate now opponent.
Graystripe (to her further annoyance) laughed "Because he is bigger than you, there's less risk. He can more easily overwhelm you and end the battle quickly," he explained "Good job dodging him Squirrelpaw!" Graystripe made sure to praise, but proceeded to caution her "Don't celebrate though, it's still not over," his words washed over her as she and Brackenfur kept circling, both looking for an opening "Don't take your eyes off your opponent but don't be blind to your surroundings."
Squirrelpaw took deep breath; steadily she began slowing her circling. She watched as Brackenfur's ears twitched and his tail lashed. He was preparing for an attack and watching warily for any signs of what that attack would be. That was her advantage, what she'd been attempting earlier- the element of surprise.
Squirrelpaw flicked her eyes towards his flank, allowing her gaze to linger there for several heartbeats as she tensed, taking a bounding leap forward with a yowl. As she hoped, Brackenfur had taken the bait! She watched as his back legs tensed and pushed off the stone floor. He pivoted on his front two paws, moving his flank out of her path.
But this time Squirrelpaw was ready. Instead of landing with her full weight and skidding, she settled on the tips of her paws and spun. She caught a brief glimpse of his startled face as she lunged. This time only a tail length away, he had no time to react. Squirrelpaw let out another caterwaul and slammed into his side. She wrapped her forelegs tightly around him. The cream colored tom yowling in shock when she bit along his spine. Not enough to draw blood. Nor do any real damage. But enough to show that, had this been a real skirmish, she could have injured him badly.
But that was where her advantage ended. She did not like it, but Squirrelpaw was still smaller than him. Brackenfur hissed and began to violently buck, leaping and kicking and hissing so aggressively that Squirrelpaw could not hold on. With a squawk she felt her grip go loose and his body slip from her grasp. Sending her tumbling once again along the stone floor. Skidding to a stop just as she had before. Though this time Squirrelpaw just flopped down and groaned. Accepting both defeat and the soreness now settling along her side.
"Squirrelpaw!" she heard scrambling pawsteps and lifted her head, meeting the concerned gaze of her leader and clanmate, the former being the one who spoke up again "Are you okay?"
Despite the fact she hadn't exactly won, a potent and near fiery excitement exploded in Squirrelpaw's veins. She knew her tail was no doubt puffing up with that excitement. She lifted her head and smiled through the soreness of flopping multiple times directly onto the stone "I'm great!" she chirped, grunting as she forced herself to stand.
Graystripe's face morphed from concern to pride, Squirrelpaw could hear his purr as he briefly pressed his nose to her ear "You did good, fooling Brackenfur like that. That's thinking smart."
If at all possible Squirrelpaw's tail puffed up even more as she lifted her head. After the fierce scolding she received from her encounter with the dogs, any praise from her mentor was greatly cherished. She hadn't enjoyed the tight and anxious feeling his disappointment had left in her stomach. Even after, when he'd forgiven her; she'd still felt awful. Only now, being able to prove that she was taking his training seriously, that she was doing her best to keep her promise, did she feel better.
"Just… try not to brag too loudly about it," Brackenfur smiled sheepishly, ears flattening sideways "It's a little embarrassing getting outsmarted by an apprentice."
Squirrelpaw scrunched her snout at him "Not just any apprentice!" She gave a gleeful hop "the best warrior apprentice in ThunderClan!" she couldn't help but boast. Allowing herself to feel smug about her cunning trickery. That's right, she'd fooled him, Squirrelpaw, an apprentice had fooled a warrior. Laughing when she once again pictured Brackenfur's flabbergasted expression
Graystripe stared flatly at her "Squirrelpaw… You're the only warrior apprentice in ThunderClan."
Ah. Right. Leafpaw was a medicine cat apprentice.
Squirrelpaw felt her pelt burn with all the heat of its fiery color as Brackenfur and Graystripe laughed. Fighting the urge to sulk at their good-natured joy. Finding herself smiling despite her slight embarrassment. It was rare to see her clanmates joking, without the constant cloud of their living circumstances hanging over their heads. Even if it was at her expense, she was happy to see them happy.
So caught up in their laughter, however; neither saw the silhouette of a ginger cat several tail lengths behind them.
Squirrelpaw thought it a trick of the light at first. Or maybe a ray of sun hitting metal at just the right angle to create a rather convincing glint. But no. It was neither. Squirrelpaw couldn't swallow her gasp as she stiffened.
It was him! The cat from her dreams and the one from the garden! He was here! But how? Why? She could smell nothing, and hadn't seen him approach from anywhere. He had simply appeared in the space behind Brackenfur and Graystripe. She could still not make out his face but he seemed… distraught? His fur was puffed up and prickly, tail lashing as he paced back and forth. Head turned towards and motioning insistently. There was… a paleness to his coat that meant she had to almost squint to see him. She was rather terrified to realize it wasn't his pelt that was pale, it was the stone. The stone behind him. Stone she could see. Through his pelt.
It hadn't been a dream?
Graystripe's ears swiveled sharply when she gasped, halting his laughter to look her over. A frown tugging at his face as he noticed her startled expression and her line of sight. Twisting his head back to look, looking straight at the ginger stranger but not reacting in the slightest. Instead he turned back to her.
"What's wrong Squirrelpaw?" he asked, leaning forward.
Squirrelpaw couldn't speak. This confirmed it. The cat wasn't here. Wasn't real. Not like them anyway. Was he really a StarClan cat? Or a ghost? Who was he? Why was she the only one who could see him?
Each question wrestled for freedom at the tip of her tongue. The urge to stay silent was simultaneously and violently trying to pull those questions back in. The decision on whether to speak or stay silent was made for her by a loud caterwauling, drawing the eyes of all three cats.
Instantly Brackenfur and Graystrpe were on their paws, pelts puffed out as they planted themselves firmly in front of Squirrelpaw. A protective wall against whatever danger was coming. Squirrelpaw fought the groan that rose in her throat. How was she supposed to improve her skills if her clanmates didn't let her actually use them?
Several tail lengths behind them, Squirrelpaw heard the shuffle of pawsteps and looked in time to see Longtail pulling himself up and out of the entrance to camp. Everyone else was out hunting, only he and Brightheart were technically in camp.
"What's going on?" the warrior demanded, his long tail lashing as he unsheathed his claws. He'd made progress in his recovery, no longer at risk of collapsing at least. But the ribs along his side were still visible and his legs still shook with fatigue. Even now, seemingly ready to fight whatever threat was out there, he looked weaker than a kit.
"I don't know," Graystripe didn't look at Longtail, his eyes surveying the different alleyways that led to their little scrap of territory "It might have just been a rouge-"
The yowling returned, this time closer and this time familiar. It was the voice of… Brambleclaw?
The brown tabby rounded the corner of the alleyway several tail lengths ahead of them. Squirrelpaw couldn't hide her shock when he saw him. He looked horrible, terrified, his amber eyes so wide she could see the whites at the edges. His fur wasn't just bristled up; it was a mess that stuck out every which way. Right on his tail was Willowpelt, with a gray she-cat leaning heavily against her side. Cinderpelt. She'd clearly run farther and harder than her twisted leg had ever allowed. The medicine cat was clearly struggling to catch her breath.
Cinderpelt… with no Leafpaw.
Squirrelpaw felt her heart freeze midbeat
"What happened?!" Graystripe demanded, abandoning his protective post in front of the apprentice and rushing over to the patrol. Squirrelpaw's vision was spotty with panic as she and Brackenfur followed. Leafpaw. Where was Leafpaw!? She and Cinderpelt always went out together with an escort. Why? Why would the patrol and Cinderpelt come back without Leafpaw.
"Twolegs," Brambeclaw spat, panting hard, clearly having run full speed to get here "Monster… Twoleg monster," his voice cracked "A twoleg monster hit my mother-"
Squirrelpaw's heart stuttered again, feeling immense guilt that she hadn't even noticed Goldenflower missing. Despite the guilt, Squirrelpaw had to bite her tongue to keep from demanding the whereabouts of her sister.
"We got her off the thunderpath…" Cinderpelt croaked out when Brambleclaw struggled to continue "Her injuries weren't… weren't bad," the relief knowing she hadn't lost a clanmate was palpable; but it was also short lived when Cinderpelt continued "But the monster, it stopped and a pair of twolegs stepped out. They… They took her and Leafpaw. They forced the pair into their monster drove off…"
"I chased them…" Brambleclaw wheezed, his breathing still labored but at least it was more even now "I chased the monster but I.. I lost sight of it… I don't know where they went."
No wonder he looked so haggard. Chasing a twoleg monster? That was no easy feat. Squirrelpaw was impressed that he had even tried. She could hardly focus on that fact for longer than a few seconds, because internally she was screaming with panic. A twoleg took Leafpaw! It wasn't possible! It couldn't be true!
"Graystripe… what're we going to do?" Brackenfur asked, looking equally panicked as the gray tom stared blankly at the pavement, shaking his head as if he too was in disbelief.
"I don't… I-" he stuttered, struggling to think of something, anything.
Brambleclaw was losing patience, hissing out angrily "You're our leader! You need to think of something and fast! They have my mother for StarClan's sake!"
That seemed to snap Graystripe out of his state of shock, glaring at Brambleclaw "I know!" he took a deep, calming breath "I know, it isn't just Goldenflower, it's Leafpaw too," his eyes darted to Squirrelpaw for a brief moment "they're both our clanmates and we are going to get them back."
The panic was gone; or at least well hidden because Graystripe began to order his clanmates "Willowpelt, go find Sandstorm and her patrol… tell her what's happened, lead her to where… Where Leafpaw and Goldenflower were taken," his face scrunched and Squirrelpaw could only guess what he was thinking. How would Sandstorm react to hearing one of her kits had been taken by twolegs. Probably with the same blinding and desperate panic Squirrelpaw could feel simmering under her skin.
The gray she-cat wasted no time, only waiting for a heartbeat for Cinderpelt to right herself before turning on her tail and running. Squirrelpaw hurried over and allowed Cinderpelt to lean against her side. The medicine cat was doing a good job of hiding it, but Squirrelpaw could feel her trembling. From terror? From grief? From anguish, feeling like she'd failed her apprentice?
"Brambleclaw," Squirrelpaw focused back on her leader as he addressed the tabby tom "Show me and Brackenfur where you lost the monster," as Brambleclaw nodded with steely eyes, Graystripe finally addressed Cinderpelt "Go inside, get some rest."
Finally, the moment Squirrelpaw was dreading, the words she just knew he was going to say as he looked at her. She spoke up before he had the chance to deny her.
"I'm coming too!" she insisted. Anything else, anything else and Squirrelpaw would have caved. After what happened with the dogs, after seeing the anguish in Graystripe's eyes, she had been determined to be a model apprentice. She would have dutifully obeyed the order to remain here where it was safe. But she couldn't, not this time.
"No, you're not," Graystripe's voice was hard, leaving no room for debate. He didn't even bother to wait for her to object, beginning to follow Brambleclaw. Squirrelpaw felt her annoyance flare to new heights, leaving Cinderpelt's side to stalk after her mentor.
"I can help!" she insisted, she pleaded "Why don't you ever let me help!"
"Because the last time you insisted on helping you were nearly mauled by a pack of dogs!" Graystripe whirled around, his tail lashing. Forgetting that the cats around them were unaware of what Squirrelpaw had done, she saw Cinderpelt and Brackenfur exchange confused glances. Longtail, who she hadn't realized had stepped out of the camp tunnel, looked particularly horrified "Mauled by dogs?"
Graystripe shook his head "It's not important," he stepped closer to Squirrelpaw, head high, looking down at her "What is important is that you. Are. Staying. Here," he stomped his paw "And it's not up for discussion."
He tried to turn away, but Squirrelpaw threw herself in front of his path one more time "You can't expect me to stay here and do nothing!" she couldn't help the wail in her voice, desperate to be heard and not made to wait "Leafpaw's my sister! I need to help!'
"You need to stay here!" Graystripe snarled, stepping around her, but not before looking back at her one last time "I have to go look Sandstorm in the eye and tell her I'm going to try and save her kidnapped kit. I can't do that knowing I've put her other kit in danger."
"But-" Squirrelpaw tried to protest further, but Graystripe wasn't listening to her, his lashing tail blocking her vision of his face as he motioned for Brambleclaw to lead the way. The tabby tom nodded grimly, casting a momentary glance at Squirrelpaw. Whether it was a look of pity or annoyance she couldn't say. But in a heartbeat he was gone, leading the way as Brackenfur and Graystripe followed close behind.
Squirrelpaw growled out in anger, taking a half step forward, half tempted to just follow Graystripe, consequences be damned, but Longtail stopped her.
"Squirrelpaw!" she turned, seeing him supporting Cinderpelt on one side "Help me get Cinderpelt inside."
With Longtail still recovering; an evident fact since he was clearly struggling to support Cinderpelt's weight, he needed her help to get the medicine cat inside. she suspected it was a ploy, a trick to get her to follow him into the den without complaint. Longtail was certainly stubborn enough to try and support an entire cat's weight despite barely being able to support his own.
Regardless, Squirrelpaw bit her tongue, trying not to scream in frustration as she padded over, quick to push against Cinderpelt's side. She supported as much weight as she could. It should've been difficult, but with how much weight Cinderpelt had clearly lost it wasn't. The pair were quick as they guided Cinderpelt to the tunnel. There was only room for one cat at a time so they stopped, allowing Longtail to crawl in first.
"She's my apprentice…" Cinderpelt's exhausted voice reached Squirrelpaw's ears. She stared with a broken heart at her sister's mentor "I'm supposed to keep her safe and I failed her."
"You didn't." Squirrelpaw said, almost viciously, catching Cinderpelt off guard. She forced her voice to be gentle, though rather it was tinged with grief "You didn't fail her, it's this place. It took her, there was nothing… nothing you could've done…"
Nothing Cinderpelt could've done, nothing Squirrelpaw could've done. Squirrelpaw had to blink hard, forcing back the tears welling up in her eyes. The reality of the situation was finally starting to sink in. Her sister was taken and there was a chance that Squirrelpaw was never going to see her again. And here she was, doing nothing. How could she live with herself, knowing she sat safely in camp and did nothing!?
She raked her claws across the stone beneath her, the sharp sound immediately drawing Cinderpelt's attention and concern.
"Squirrelpaw?" she questioned, ears twitching backwards nervously.
"Are you two going to come in or not?" Longtail groused, poking his head out of the tunnel, blinking and eyeing the two she-cats nervously.
"I'm not sitting here and doing nothing…" Squirrelpaw growled, feeling her resolve set in, and seeing the realization set in on Cinderpelt's face just a second too late. Cinderpelt lunged forward, no doubt an attempt to grab Squirrelpaw and force her to stay. But for once Squirrelpaw's size worked in her favor as she ducked backwards. Pivoting on her back paws and taking off at a dead run.
"Squirrelpaw! Get back here!" Cinderpelt called, but Squirrelpaw was not listening, her heart pounding in her ears as she ran.
She left behind the empty, stoney camp, entering the alleyways and following Graystripe's already faint scent, buried beneath the stink of twoleg place.
"Hang on Leafpaw, Goldenflower," she gritted her teeth "I'm coming to help."
With terror and resolve beating in tandem with her heart, Squirrelpaw kept on running.