Note: Hi Everyone, I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in a long while, but I have finished another chapter so I hope you enjoy it. /p

Chapter 18 – The Hogwarts Express

The final few days at Grimmauld place were not great, Ron wasn't speaking to him and ignored him to the point where he spoke through Harry as if he were transparent. The whole house was on edge, and rushing around gathering everything ready for school on the Friday. Everyone thought Ron was being ridiculous and went out of their way to include Harry in anything he was able to do, Ginny stuck by his side which helped with the horrible feeling in his chest. But the tensions in the house were at breaking point, everyone was starting to feel the stress and were snapping at each other.

There were a number or Order meetings before they went back on Friday, Fred and George were using their invention again to try and overhear the conversations going on in the kitchen, however Mrs Weasley had caught onto them and performed more enchantments to ensure no one could listen in. It didn't stop Fred and George from trying with Rons encouragement, however when everyone was crowded around the extendable ear Harry knew that he wasn't welcome and spent a lot of time in his room trying to encourage himself to be social.

On the morning of September, the first chaos flooded the house, everyone was trying to pack their trunks at the last minute and everyone was banging, shouting and rushing everywhere. The portrait of Sirius' mother was screaming hellfire at anyone who walked passed her, Sirius and Remus had given up trying to silence her as every time a trunk fell she screamed.

Harry on the other hand, had packed everything up over the last few days and was able to ask Remus and Sirius to move his trunk and Hedwig's cage down to the hallway ready to leave at 10am. Once he had checked over his room one last time to ensure he had everything he made his way downstairs and into the living room, he didn't fancy breakfast, Mrs Weasley had made a number of breakfast baps so that everyone could pick food up on the go but he didn't go into the kitchen, he tried to relax in the living room with the TV on but couldn't, his anxiety was overwhelming, he couldn't sit still, he really didn't want to go back.

The shouts intensified as the time passed, the closer to 10am it got the more noisy the inhabitants became, Harry listened as bangs, shouts and cries protruded through the door of the living room. Harry sat on the sofa as curled up as he could be, his good leg at his chest, his head in his knees, his thoughts clouded his mind as he sat there working himself up to leave the house. He wasn't ready for all the stares and comments, nor the sneers and humiliation of walking around using muggle healing techniques. Harry didn't hear a soft knock of the door and a certain Weasley entering the room, he could sense the presence but didn't look around, he didn't want to argue.

Soft hands placed themselves on Harry's shoulders and they moved slowly down to around his chest so that they could gently hug him. He flinched slightly as contact was made, he hated himself for it, for everything for being such a freak and a waste of time, if he wasn't here then the Weasleys and Hermione would be safe and wouldn't need a guard to take them to Kings Cross! As if they could read his mind or sense his thought process a soft, familiar voice soothed him.

"It's alright Harry, it's Ginny." She started, Harry instinctively raised his head from his knees, uncurled slightly and allowed her to sit right next to him so that his head was on her shoulder. "People are almost ready to go, I volunteered to find you, don't worry we don't have to go quite yet, although Mum is filled to bursting with Ron, seems he didn't pack last night" she said softly. Harry smiled slightly and nodded.

"Prefect and all" muttered Harry. Ginny laughed and Harry couldn't help but laugh with her, she had a very beautiful smile when she laughed, and her laughter was infectious. This moment relieved some of the anxiety he was feeling, he thought rationally for once, at least when he went back to school he would have Ginny and he would be able to write to Sirius and Remus who were working on getting him out of the Dursleys.

"We had better go before Mum comes thundering down here to hurry us up". Reminded Ginny and stood up holding out his crutches so that he didn't put any weight on his knee. The pair made their way up to the front door, all the trunks and cages were stacked up beside the door ready to go, Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks and a couple of other Order members were standing at the door.

"We aren't leaving without Podmore!" growled Moody as he paced up and down, his leg clunking every other step.

"There no time Alistor, we need to get the children to Kings Cross, it's going to take at least half an hour from here and we all know muggle transport is not always reliable!" scolded Mrs Weasley.

"Mrs Weasley is right Alistor, we need to go. Are we going to tell everyone the plan?" asked Remus who was trying to calm both parties down. Moody grunted to indicate that Remus was okay to tell everyone the plan. "Right then, we will be going in three parties, Fred, George, Bill, Mr Weasley in one group, Ron, Hermione, Mrs Weasley and Tonks in another, the final group is Ginny, Harry, Sirius and myself. Alistor will be dealing with the luggage. We will be getting the underground to Kings Cross, there is a station about a fifteen to twenty minute walk from here, we need to be alert, all those underage are not allowed to use magic under any circumstance. Alright, let's go." Explained Remus as Sirius turned into the big black dog and the first group left grimmauld place.

Ron gave Harry and Ginny a scowl before walking out the door with his mother a couple of minutes later, the couple rolled their eyes with impatience. They were then ready to finally leave Grimmauld place, although gloomy and depressing the stay had been much better than the Durselys which he was sure if he had stayed there all summer he would have been starved to death or beaten to a pulp. The door closed behind him and the screaming from Mrs Black was silenced, Remus pushed him forward so that they started to walk up the street.

The journey was uneventful, unless you counted Sirius scaring and chasing some cats for Harry and Ginny's entertainment. They met the others by the ticket office where Hermione was guiding Mr Weasley through a muggle transaction for their tickets, it was going well, they had completed the task as Harry made his way down the escalator followed by Remus.

"Our train is in 5 minutes from platform 4, come along now Harry, Ginny" fussed Mrs Weasley spotting them walking over to them. The large party made their way up and over the track by using a bridge across the track, they then waited for only a minute before Harry was pushed onto the tube by Sirius' black paw.

Harry sat down, his leg and arms sore from walking so far on his crutches, the exhaustion from the lack of sleep taking its toll. Ginny joined him sitting next to him, taking his hand once again and rubbeing her thunb up and down to comfort him. Harry sat there dazed, unaware that they had reached Kings Cross so soon.

"Come on, we need to get off!" called Mrs Weasley as she sheparded her children off the train. Harry followed the crowd and stepped off into a very crowded platform full of muggles trying to get on a tube or were waiting for one. They followed a flight of stairs up into the main train station, Harry looked around, there were so manny people, he desperately wanted to run, panic clutching in his chest. Ginny placed her hand on his briefly and the panic died.

Once between the platforms of 9 and 10 they all crowded around the barrier pretending to be interested in a nearby notice board. Then in their groups they slipped aside and through the barrier onto platform 9 3/4, Harry went first with Remus who held his upper arm tight to ensure that he didn't fall over.

The scarlet steam engine revealed itself with large clouds of steam protruding around it, Harry could see clusters of students and parent all talking, laughing, some crying getting ready to say goodbye. The noise level on the open platform was incredible, Harry saw the people closest to him give him a look up and down before whispering to each other, he could feel himself getting overwhelmed. Harry was half carried out of the way of the barrier and watched as the other Weasleys, Order members and Hermione made their way through onto the platform.

Once Harry had released himself from Moody he made his way onto the train with Ginny and they went to find a compartment together. Hermione had explained that morning that prefects had their own carriage and they had to go to a meeting before patrolling the corridors, she had promised to find them once they had finished their prefect duties. Harry didn't care much, he doubted Ron would want to share with him which made Harry feel like another brick had been added to the weight in his stomach, he had never been on the train without Ron.

Ginny soon pulled him into a compartment with a girl with blonde hair that fell down to her waist and her eyes had a dreamy expression over them, she was reading a magazine upside down and didn't seem to notice their entrance. He had seen her around the school before and knew that she had an odd reputation which suited him, he didn't want to be disturbed, or the attention or the sneers and taunts, he was hoping he could have a quiet train journey so he could mentally prepare himself for the feast which was bound to be eventful, it always was, he hoped she would allow them to stay for the journey.

"Hi Luna, mind if we share your compartment?" asked Ginny. Luna slowly nodded before returning to read her magazine which Harry now read was 'The Quibbler', Harry sat down next to the window and looked out onto the platform, he could see Mrs Weasley walking up and down the side of the train saying goodbye to her children, she soon reached Harry and Ginny. "Bye Mum!" called Ginny through the window.

"Yeah, thanks for everything Mrs Weasley"

"Your very welcome dear!" she replied, Sirius had put his front paws on the train "Get your dirty paws off the train, you could fall between the tracks!" she scolded as Sirius put his nose to the window where Harry was, Harry laughed and started to wave goodbye as the train whilst blew.

"Take care of yourself Harry" came Lupins voice, Harry had not noticed Remus joining the group, Harry looked at him as he took Sirius by the scruff of the neck (where a mother dog would carry her puppy) and pulled him away from the train as it started to move off. Sirius ran the length of the train as it started to pick up speed and leave the station, Harry smiled at Sirius' shenanigans, at least he was a free man and there were no consequences for him being there.

Harry sat back in his seat, he put his hood up and curled into himself, he didn't particularly want to be involved in the conversation. However before anyone could say anything the compartment door opened and Nevile Longbottom came in.

"Oh Harry! Happy to see you, I couldn't find anyone to sit with, do you mind if I sit with you" Harry shook his head, there were no objections from the others either so the boy sat down. Neville had grown a couple of inches over the summer and was looking a lot better than the podgy first year five years ago. "Bloody hell Harry! What have you done to yourself?" Neville asked looking at Harry.

"Acromatnula venom, dementors and being run over by a car, they said ligaments can't heal themselves or by magic so I am stuck like this" replied Harry bluntly. Neville sat there in silence stunned at Harry's reply.

"How was your summer Luna?" asked Ginny breaking the silence.

"Oh it was good!" she muttered dreamily "Daddy found a large heard of crumpled-horned snorkack's he has been writing about them for weeks" she continued before lowering her magazine and staring at Harry which made him uncomfortable "And you're Harry Potter"

"I know" Harry replied bluntly before turning his head to look out of the window again. Ginny took his hand and started rubbing it with her thumb again.

"I don't know you!" Luna had said to Neville, she had only just noticed Nevilles presence.

"No one important" replied Neville.

"Yes you are, this is Neville Longbottom" replied Ginny. Neville went red but this statement seemed to satisfy Luna who went back to her magazine. Harry leant his head against the window and started to let himself get lost watching trees, fields, villages and towns pass swiftly by as they went further and further north, Ginny cuddled into him and he felt a lot calmer, but not ready for conversation with other people quite yet.

The lunch trolly made its way through the train at half past twelve, Harry barely noticed, he wasn't hungry anyway. Ginny squeezed his hand as the witch asked for their orders Harry shook his head and went back to looking out of the window, he was about to settle into a daze again when he was poked by Neville who was eating a pumpkin pastie.

"Harry, are you alright, you seem a bit off?"

"I'm fine Neville, I just haven't been sleeping well with this, bloody knackered if I'm honest" replied Harry gesturing to his leg. Neville nodded in understanding before continuing to eat his pumpkin pastie and playing with his plant. Harry didn't know what the plant was but it looked like a catus and had boils all over its surface, Neville was very much into herbology and was a little too enthusiastic about it at times.

As the train moved further and further north the trees grew into forests and the dim light outside caused the lanterns to be lit by two o'clock. There were a number of visitors to their compartment, all of which Harry tried to ignore and look aimlessly out of the window, the highlight of the visitors was Cho Chang who tried to flirt with Harry but was unsuccessful due to Ginny telling her to back off and mind her own business. Harry was very thankful for Ginny, she seemed to understand that he needed a peaceful journey.

"you'd never guess who Slytherin's prefects are!" exclaimed Ron as he threw himself down onto a spare seat and disturbing Luna.

"That was rude!" she exclaimed as Ron almost sat on her magazine.

"Anyway" Ron began, ignoring Luna "It's bloody Malfoy and that cow Pansy Parkinson! Can't believe Dumbledore would give them authority!" he exclaimed.

"Well there has to be two prefects from each house so we were always ging to be stuck with Slytherin prefects" came Hermione who had followed Ron into the compartment and sat in the spare seat next to Ginny. "We just have to ignore Malfoy this year, he can't punish us for no reason and we are prefects too so we have the same authority he does" continued Hermione.

Harry sighed inwardly as his hearing drifted from the conversation to the rattling of the train compartment, he didn't feel like talking to anyone, he just wanted to sit with Ginny and just be for a little while. His chest feeling heavier and heavier as they approached Hogwarts. He startied having urges, he didn't deserve to be on this train with all these people, he had inadvertently killed Cedric, flashes of the graveyard filled his eyes and ears and suddenly he was back there, watching it all over again.

He could feel his breathing rapidly increasing, he could only hear the high cold pitched voice echoing around the graveyard, he had no idea what was happening on the train. 'it's your fault, you stood there and watched it happen, you could have at least resisted and now its happening all over again. He needed to get out, he needed to ground himself and there was only one thing he knew that would help, he needed out but his blade was stuck in his trunk, he had no tools to return himself to the present and he knew he was about to make a scene.

As if his brain cleared for a brief second and he managed to get up and out of the compartment before the panic took over and he would end up breaking down. Harry stood up and rushed out of the compartment, letting go of Ginny's hand which was trying to hold onto him tight. "Toilet" Harry muttered as he stood up and hobbled out of the compartment. He looked left and right, both ways there were people, people ready to stare and have a go, the panoc inside him not making sense, making it hard to breathe and think straight, his vision was starting to blur.

Finally he made his way down the corridor and found the nearest bathroom and locked himself inside, he crumpled down onto the floor and brought his good leg up to his chest, tears were now escaping his eyes, his mind was racing with thoughts, memories flashed over his eyes, he needed this to stop, he couldn't take much more of this, he didn't even know what triggered him off.

Then instinctively Harry went for his arm and using the only tool he had, his fingernails a d dug deep into his already cut arm, blood seeped into his clothes so he pulled his sleeve up. As soon as he had squeezed and scratched his arm so much that every cut seemed to burst open, his mind cleared and he seemed to enter a sense of numbness, he couldn't feel anything but the heavy weight on his chest again, he hated this, it was either this feeling or everything all at once. Catching his breath was now easier and he gulped down air as if he had just come out of the lake again.

Instincts guided Harry through the numbness once again, he used toilet paper to clean up his arm and he ensured he wasn't bleeding before replacing the sleeve of his hoodie. He needed to go back to the compartment before someone came to look for him, he stood up with difficulty owing to his injured leg, then he splashed water over his face to wash away the tears before taking one final deep breath.

Harry made his way back to the compartment where he found everyone covered in pus from Nevilles plant, he had obviously tried to impress the compartment and it went very wrong. Hermione was slowly scorgifying the pus off everyone, Ron was complaining loudly and didn't notice Harry come back in and sit next to a now pus free Ginny, who leant into him and Harry put a free arm around her, Ron scowled and was about to make a coment when the compartment door slid open.

"So it's true then! You are now using muggle contraptions to aid yourself when they aren't needed? Trying to get more attention Potter!" came the drawl of Draco Malfoy. Harry inwardly growled to himself and subconsciously released Ginny who seemed to be debating whether to brandish her wand or not. "What's wrong with you Weaselette? Why so defensive of Potter?" Malfoy snapped at Ginny.

"Take one more step and I will hex you" snarled Ginny the fire roaring in her chocolate brown eyes. Harry stood up on his good leg and took out his wand quickly, ready to react if he made a move, his goonies Crabbe and Goyle sniggering behind his back.

"Ooh are you going out with him? I'd be careful if I were you, he's delusional if you haven't read the paper, let alone mentioning him collapsing in class last year. Don't forget he is an assistant murderer, clutching a dead body at the end of last year."

"Leave Ginny out of it! You know very well what happened at the end of last year, your father was part of his inner circle, I'm sure he must have told you or is pretty boy Malfoy too much of a baby to be involved in important conversations?" snarled Harry standing up on his good leg and pointing his wand at Malfoy.

"Don't you dare accuse my family!" shouted Draco.

"Then don't have a go at mine" replied Harry with a forced calm in his voice.

"You have no family, your parents are dead!" Draco shouted again "I heard they snuffed it because of your ugly face"

"Yeah my parents are dead, but at least they fought on the right side and didn't go and kill and hurt people for fun. Your father is a power hungry ferret, running from anything that could rruin his reputation." Snarled Harry who raised his wand in anticioation for the fight, he knew he had hit a raw nerve, Malfoy was glowing pink and he couldn't seem to get his words out. Prefect or not Draco wanted to attack, he raised his leg high and before Harry could hobble out of the way his foot collided with his injured leg, his brace took most of the impact but bent in an odd way and his knee jerked in an odd direction before pain hit him.

Harry didn't know what happened next, he could see sparks of all colours as all five of the compartment's occupants had jumped into action, he was on the floor and heard three masses hit the floor outside the compartment. Harry looked up and saw each of them had been hexed with Ginny's bat bogey hex.

"Bloody hell Ginny!" exclaimed Ron as he looked around at Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Ginny looked back outside the compartment with a determined look on her face before turning back to Harry. Harry's leg was throbbing but he didn't want to make a fuss, he wished everyone would stop staring at him. Ron turned back to Harry "Come on mate, lets get you up. I'm going to murder Malfoy!" he exclaimed, Harry was surprised, Ron wasn't talking to him and now he was helping him to his feet and back onto the seat.

"Thanks" Harry muttered as Ron deposited him in his seat and Ginny lifted his injured leg gently placed it over her lap which was much more comfortable. Once he was comfortable he noticed Ron staring at him, as if he was sizing Harry up and seeing him for the very first time.

"Do you mean what you said? About us as family"

"Well yes, I owe your family a lot, it's the closest I've had to a normal family setting, you guys took me in, the least I can do is give back to you. I'd like to be a part of it"

"You already are mate" Ron started but paused before speaking again "I'm sorry for being such an idiot about you and Ginny, you make her happy I can see that and I know you will protect her like you have always done for us and everyone else."

"It's fine" replied Harry. There was an awkward silence before they went into a long conversation about quidditch, Hermione buried herself in a book, it was as if nothing had happened, the heaviness on his chest seemed to ease and he smiled genuinely, glad he had his best friend back.