Wouldn't be a new chapter without a new disclaimer, would it? :)

Here it is: I knew approximately nothing about the actual battles of the civil war until I tried to write this, and then I promptly fell straight down the rabbit hole. This is based on my third grade understanding of American history and my googling abilities. Anyway, here's my *totally accurate and plausible* account of the war from Jess's perspective! There is violence here, but I've tried not to make it too graphic.

Chapter 6: Jess Goes to War

Jess and Tommy travelled with the rest of the recruits from Amarillo in panhandle country right to where the western army was regrouping. The two of them had met up with the recruiters, signed their names, and they were on a train to Georgia by the next morning. It was the first time either of the boys had left Texas. Tommy had been talking a mile a minute for the entire train ride, trying to impress the other new recruits, and Jess was pretty sure more than half the stories Tommy told were made up on the spot. He didn't call him on it. Instead, Jess rolled his eyes good naturedly, leaned his head onto the window, and rested his chin on his hand. He watched the unfamiliar countryside roll by and just hoped Francie wouldn't be missing him too much just yet.

When the train rolled into Corinth, Mississippi, it was colder than Jess had expected. His whole life he'd heard that it got hotter as you went farther south, but even here in the "deep south" it was just as chilly as Amarillo had been. Maybe we ain't all that far south after all? Jess mused. He hadn't spent a lot of his life studying maps. Even if they were farther south, he thought maybe there wasn't a single hot place in the country right now, being mid-February and all. He didn't dare ask out loud, though, lest one of the older boys decide to correct him. The recruits were hustled off the platform and told they now belonged to the 9th Texas Infantry. A gruff man with little patience for the rowdy line of new recruits handed Jess a gray uniform, a pair of boots, a rucksack, and a canteen. Jess tried not to wrinkle his nose at the smell of stale tobacco and sweat rolling off the man as he leaned in and said "Git yerself dressed and then head fer the armory, pretty boy."

Jess turned away. He'd been called a lot worse things than "pretty" growing up the way he did. Tommy was right behind him as he made his way out of the crush of people waiting for supplies. "Jess, are ya really gonna let him talk to ya like that? He ain't a customer at the livery, Jess, we're men now. And soldiers!" Tommy said, shaking his own uniform for emphasis. "You're gonna let him get away with it?"

Jess gritted his teeth. By now he'd found a more secluded area, so he started to change into his uniform. Jess took a deep breath and tried to pretend he hadn't cared in the slightest.

"Sometimes it just ain't worth it, Tommy. 'Sides, I thought you was all excited about gettin' these here uniforms on? Making him take it back woulda' taken too much time," Jess replied, kicking off his too-small boots pulling on his new pants. The new boots were a little big, but Jess thought that was a nice change from too small. That finished, he started to pull on the coat.

A new voice sounded behind Jess, dripping with sarcasm. "Awe, shucks Miles, look at them boys, all fresh faced and eager. You remember ever bein' that cute?"

Jess kept his eyes forward, working on his buttons. Tommy, meanwhile, half tripped over himself trying to get his new pants on over his long johns.

"Reckon I ain't never been cute as all that. You gotta be pretty stupid to be eager about goin' to war," another responded, assumably Miles. Jess could see Tommy's eyes meet up with the strangers' over Jess's shoulder. Jess watched as his face started to turn red, a sure sign of trouble.

"Maybe one of 'em got kicked in the head," the first voice said, chuckling at his own joke. Jess watched Tommy's eyes track the hecklers as they came forward. One my height and one a little on the taller side, walking right up to us, Jess thought to himself. His eyes narrowed.

"Or dropped down a well by their mama so she didn't have to look at 'em no more," Miles continued, his companion now wheezing with laughter. Jess knew that Miles, the taller of the two, was standing directly behind him now. Jess watched the insults finally tear Tommy into action. Just as Tommy opened his mouth to say something cutting in response, Jess beat him to it.

Jess clenched his fist and his jaw and hit Miles square in the face with a mean right hook. The man went down like a sack of flour; he'd never seen it coming. Jess might be on the smaller side, but starting a man's work early in life did have a few upsides. People underestimated him but Jess's wiry frame was strong. Miles's companion was so stunned that he stood frozen for a moment, just long enough for Tommy's mind to catch up to the present. Tommy lit into the other man for all he was worth, knowing Jess would be there to back him up. After a few more good swings Jess did step in, but only to stop Tommy's arm mid swing and grab the other man by his shirt collar. They both stopped.

"Now take it back, mister," Jess ground out, teeth still clenched. His blue eyes looked like fire under his dark brows. Tommy had seen Jess annoyed before, frustrated, and he thought he'd seen Jess get angry. He'd never seen him look quite this deadly serious, though. It shocked him. Miles was slowly starting to stir on the ground next to them.

"I… I didn't mean anything by it. We was just joshin' ya, honest," said the man, blood streaming from his broken nose. "I take it back."

Jess shoved him away, hard. He took a deep breath and spun on his heel toward where the armory ought to be, pulling his new cap onto his head as he went. He looked every bit the part of a battle-hardened soldier in that moment, despite having been off the train less than an hour. Tommy stood watching as Broken Nose Guy helped his friend to his feet.

"Tommy!" Jess snapped, not breaking stride.

Tommy finally managed to pull himself together, turning to follow Jess. I guess I hadn't seen him angry before, Tommy though, jogging to catch up. But I reckon I have now. Tommy realized no one had ever been dumb enough to insult Jess's family after the fire.

Once Tommy was level with Jess again, a bit wary until he saw that the fire had cooled to a simmer. Tommy smiled and clapped a hand on Jess's shoulder. "See what I mean now, Jess? That was plenty worth it. And it only took a couple minutes!" Jess just huffed and rolled his eyes, his lips quirking up in spite of himself.

Jess was amazed just how little training they received. He had assumed someone might try and teach them how to aim and shoot before making them full blown soldiers, but that was not the case. They were told not to fire for practice, and to save all their ammunition for a real battle. Mostly, they were taught how to stand in a line, march in a line, and do most everything else in a line. The drills were endless. The only reason Jess didn't mind the constant drilling was that the movement kept them warm. Dismissed for the moment, Jess shouldered his rifle and ambled back over to their camp area. The morning had been frosty but with the sun coming out now, it wasn't so bad. Tommy came jogging up behind him.

"Jess! Hey, there you are!" he said, knocking their shoulders together. Jess smiled. No matter how cold the mornings or how gray and rainy the afternoon, Tommy's excitement had never wavered. Even this must seem like a holiday, without his old man around, Jess thought.

"Hi Tommy, sorry about that. I lost track of ya this morning," Jess replied, finding a spot to rest under a tree.

"That's alright, it's hard to keep track of anyone in all this, especially with all of us lookin' the same from the back. Is your canteen empty? I'm gonna have to fill mine," Tommy said.

"Bout halfway, I reckon," Jess said, lowering himself to the ground. Another group of soldiers pushed past them and Tommy had to sidestep out of their way.

"Growing up in that little town like we did, Jess, I don't think I'll ever get used to quite so many people around" Tommy muttered. He sat next to Jess under their tree and pulled his knees up. Jess laid his rifle next to him, along with his rucksack and canteen, and stretched out on the ground with his fingers laced behind his head. Jess realized this was exactly how they had been the day Tommy asked him to join up. Jess smiled a bit and looked up at the tree. Yep, even an Oak tree. It made him think of Francie and the promised letter he had yet to write.

Tommy, meanwhile, was still going on about nothing in particular. Jess started to listen again just as Tommy said, "Hey, Jess, your gun is different from mine. What kind is that?"

Jess opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them. He turned onto one elbow, grabbing the stock of his rifle with the other hand to take a look.

"He's got an Enfield, you got a Springfield," came a new voice, heavy with the twang Jess had learned meant coal county. The new boy, a bit older than Jess and Tommy, walked up and sat down with them. Jess guessed he was about nineteen, but he still somehow seemed more boy than man. Maybe it was the cocky tone. Someone younger trailed along behind, hesitantly joining the group as if he wasn't sure he'd be welcome. The pair had matching freckles and high cheekbones, even if the younger one still had some baby fat hiding the sharpness of his features. Gotta be brothers, Jess thought. No way that kid's older than thirteen.

Tommy was still looking at the two guns rather than the newcomers. "And what's that mean exactly?" he asked.

"Your friend here was luckier than you, is what it means" Coal Country said. "His has a rifled barrel, like mine here. Shoots father and straighter." The second part was directed to Jess, who nodded. Even if he hadn't been responsible for his own gun in nearly four years now, he understood the difference.

"Huh. Well don't that just figure about right," Tommy said, jokingly. "Everyone knows that Jess here is about the luckiest cuss there ever was." Jess snorted at that. Everyone around town had maintained that he and Francie really were the luckiest two kids in the whole world. Between he and Tommy, however, it had always been a private joke.

The newcomer seemed to catch on quickly and he shot a crooked grin toward Jess. "I knew just by lookin' at you that you had to be one of them lucky ones. Mind if we stay around? My klutz of a kid brother can use all the luck he can get. Maybe it'll rub off some." The kid brother in question had been watching the exchange with wide eyes, but blushed and looked down at that comment. Jess thought about himself just a few years ago and something in him softened a bit.

"Sure, friend, but I hope my style of luck don't rub off, for your sake," Jess said, looking at the kid but speaking to his brother. Jess's luck hadn't worked out for his older brothers. "You two got names or somethin'?"

"I'm Johnny Duncan, but most folks just call me Duncan. This here is Knute, but most folks don't call him much of anything," he said, in the way only older brothers could. Knute smiled in greeting anyhow.

"Nice to meet you, Duncan, Knute. Mine's Tom Weaver, but ain't nobody calls me Weaver without a punch to the jaw. And this here's Jess Harper. Ole Jess here answers to either one a' his," Tommy said. Jess nodded his hellos. "I was thinkin' on filling our canteens, if you want to come along?" Tommy asked, reaching for both his and Jess's.

"I'll come along with you. Knute, you stay here," Duncan said reaching for Knute's canteen. "Make a friend who ain't me." Duncan and Tommy walked away with a chuckle, towards the creek on the other side of the camp. Jess could hear Duncan explaining the difference between Confederate and Union canteens, telling Tommy they should be on the lookout to snag one of the northern ones as soon as they could. Tommy was eating straight out of Duncan's hand, and Jess was glad Tommy had finally found someone just as talkative as himself. Before long, the ruckus of camp swallowed their conversation and Jess lost sight of them in the sea of gray.

Knute looked a little terrified at the prospect of staying behind with Jess, but he shifted over to the spot Tommy had vacated anyway. Jess laid back down flat, hands behind his head, and glanced at the kid. Before Francie had decided to speak again after the fire, Jess would ask her all kinds of ridiculous questions to try and get her to open up. He decided to give it a shot again.

"What made yer mama wanna name ya after a lizard? You got scales er somethin'?" Jess asked lightly, putting a little extra drawl into his words for effect.

He was rewarded with a little smile, one that finally reached Knute's eyes. "Mama told me my kinda Knute starts with a K, which makes it different than the lizard kind, but I ain't never seen it all written out," he said, with just as much twang as his brother. "Johnny, though, he always said it was on account of how my freckles made me look like the little spotted lizards we used to catch down by the creek." Jess smiled back at that, closing his eyes again. He probably would have done the same if he'd been the older brother. Once Knute started talking he found it hard to stop, nervously rambling in the way kids often do. Jess didn't mind. "Mama said the K in front kind of Knute is supposed to mean I'll grow up strong and sure, but I reckon I ain't got that far quite yet. I hope she's right, though."

Jess thought that over, and he hoped this kid had a chance to find out. "How old are ya, Knute with a K?"

"Fifteen!" he replied. Jess opened his eyes and cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, well, close enough. I'll be fourteen in just six months."

Thirteen it is, then, on the nail, Jess thought, closing his eyes again. "What made that brother of yours drag you along to join the army?"

Knute looked down at the ground. "When the fighting broke out up by home, we had to move mama and my sister down here to my aunt's farm. Papa said Johnny had to go join up and protect what was ours, and I didn't want to get left behind. If we'd been at home still, I would have started in the mine next year anyhow. Papa said I would'a died in the mine on account'a my clumsiness, so I might as well go die in the war for somethin' worthwhile," he told Jess. "We was already down here, so we just joined up with the closest unit instead of walkin' all the way back to Virginia first. But I'm not really a fightin' soldier. I play the drum when the whole army moves."

Jess listened to the story and considered his own situation. Back in Texas, he hadn't had many options of what to do, but he was quickly realizing that having nowhere else to go was something he had in common with a lot of the soldiers. He didn't like the idea of a father giving his son up for dead before he'd even had his first shave, though. He wondered idly if that was worse than a pa like Tommy's; a pa that left bruises. His own pa had been neither kind. Maybe he really was the lucky one after all.

"I don't mind, though," Knute continued. "I'd much rather be above ground anyway. All my life, the thought of going into that mine gave me the willies," he said, before glancing over at Jess on the ground and then looking away. He was embarrassed he'd admitted to being scared while trying to impress his new companion.

Jess thought about that, too. He opened his eyes, looked over at Knute and said, "I reckon if someone had tried to force me underground, I would'a run straight the other way. Even just thinkin' about it gives me the shivers too."

Knute's eyes lit up at that, and he finally smiled for real. "I don't blame ya, Jess! And don't worry, I won't tell anyone you don't like bein' in a mine if you don't tell Johnny that I don't either!" Jess grinned and promised he wouldn't mention it. "Jess, I know you ain't been a soldier long, your coat's too clean for that. But what did you do before this? I ain't never been around a place where people weren't miners," he said, eager to learn about the world away from home.

Jess had never thought of living and working in a livery as something exciting, but Knute hung on his every word. Jess shared about watching the jail and the people he met at the livery, but mostly he talked about the horses. Jess loved talking about horses, and Knute loved to listen. When the other two came back with four full canteens, Tommy was astounded to hear Jess talking freely without even being asked questions. The older Duncan, on the other hand, was just relieved that Knute wasn't following him around scared and silent anymore. He loved his brother, but like all siblings, he needed some space from the kid. Jess, a boy himself missing his sister, was the perfect surrogate.

The four of them became fast friends. After that day under the tree, it was rare to find one without the rest. The air got warmer and the field got muddier, but Knute stuck right next to Jess. Tommy got bored with the drills as the novelty of soldier life wore off. Duncan took to telling Tommy all about the battles he and Knute had seen already. Jess listened and tried to tell what was fact from what was fiction while Tommy swallowed it all, hooked from the start. Jess was pretty sure Duncan had never single handedly run a cannon for a whole battle, especially since they were in the infantry, but he kept his mouth shut. Knute usually told him the truth of it once the other two were out of earshot.

Just a couple short months into their army career, something happened. Tommy was running across the camp, eyes wide, shouting for Jess and Duncan. He had news: Their unit had been assigned, and they were marching north to Shiloh, Tennessee.

Their 9th Texas Infantry was in the second core with Major General Bragg. That was fine by Jess. He'd heard from other soldiers that Bragg was a good leader, and being second in line seemed like a good place for their first time in battle. Tommy, however, didn't seem to agree.

"The men up in front of us will have those Yanks on the run long before we ever see them!" he exclaimed when he heard the news. That didn't turn out to be the case. Duncan, Jess, and Tommy were somewhere toward the middle of their line. Knute had his drum on the outskirts, playing the rhythms that kept the regiment marching. As the fighting finally started, however, Jess lost all sense of rhythm and time. The crack of the muskets followed by the whistle of the bullets was soon downed out by the screams of men all around them. None of them broke rank, and Jess's world narrowed down to aim, fire, reload. Aim, fire, reload. He'd been a good shot with a hunting rifle, and the same seemed to be true years later. He barely looked up to see where his rounds went, but his aim was better than most. Regardless of his own success, he could see after a while that those blue uniforms wouldn't be on the run anytime soon. He learned one other important lesson that day:

Jess's least favorite sound in the whole world was cannon fire.

He stood his ground anyway, between his two friends, but the boom of the Union cannons shot fear straight through him. It was terrifying. The answer of their own artillery, with cannon balls flying over their heads, was even less comforting. He took aim at a Union officer, sitting up on horseback, waving his sword around to rally his troops. Before he could pull the trigger, however, one of those cannon balls tore right through the horse's legs. As Jess watched that beautiful palomino go down, he decided a horse's scream was even worse than a man's. It broke his heart clean in half. He fired at the horse instead of the officer, out of mercy, and the scream stopped. Reload. Aim. Fire.

By the time the bugles sounded for retreat, Jess didn't need to be told twice. He turned and realized that in all the commotion he'd been separated from Duncan and Tommy. As he turned away, figuring he'd find them later, he caught sight of Knute at the edge of the line. The kid was still clinging to his drumsticks and hurrying away from the front, following the retreating soldiers. Time seemed to slow. Jess became aware of his heartbeat and breathing, loud inside his head. He caught sight of a cannon ball, flying through the air, headed directly for Knute. NO. Jess tried to scream, tried to tell Knute to get down, but he wasn't sure he'd even made a sound. Everything was fuzzy. He thought he was running toward the boy and he knew other soldiers were jostling him as he moved sideways against the current, but he couldn't feel anything in his body. It was like all of his senses turned off except for sight. He watched helplessly as the cannonball slammed into the ground right next to Knute, and Knute fell to the ground. Knute didn't move, and Jess truly lost himself.

"Sweetheart, it's alright now, you gotta let him go," said a soft voice, floating through Jess's mind. "You're both safe and sound. It's time to calm down now." Jess blinked. He realized he was crouched over someone, on the ground. He felt like he was waking up from a nightmare, his heart pounding, but he couldn't for the life of him remember the dream. How can a person wake up, not laying down? Jess wondered. He was beyond confused. He blinked again, his blurry vision starting to sharpen a bit.

The soft voice came again. "That's it, honey, just listen to me and try to calm down. Just breathe through it." The voice then changed direction, speaking to someone else nearby. "What did you say his name was?"

"It's Jess," came another voice Jess dimly recognized. "The boy he's got there is called Knute." With that, Jess realized he was still holding onto the body he was crouching over. He relaxed his hands a bit and realized the body was actually holding onto him back, tightly clinging to his sleeves, caught somewhere between holding them together and pushing Jess away.

The soft voice was back again, talking nonsense to Jess like he used to talk to skittish horses. Horses I told Knute about, Jess realized. This body was Knute. He'd seen him fall, but here he was. Jess was finally able to focus on Knute's face, and he realized his light brown eyes were wide open. Terrified, he thought. He tightened his grip again and felt Knute stiffen up. Terrified of… Me. With that revelation Jess immediately dropped the boy and rocked back onto his seat in the dirt.

All of a sudden, it was like the world turned back on. There were men everywhere, some crying, some moaning. He could smell blood and dirt and a whole lot more he didn't want to think about. The air was too thick and too close, and Jess slammed his eyes shut to block it out, clenching his jaw so hard he thought his teeth might crack. The only thing that didn't make it worse was the soft, steady voice that just kept going. That voice felt like water over his skin while everything else felt like splinters.

"There you go, Jess, easy does it," the voice said. He turned towards the sound, opening his eyes a bit. He saw the voice belonged to a young woman with light brown hair, wearing a nurse's cap and apron. She gently put her arms around Jess and pulled him against her. Just shut his eyes again and leaned into the embrace. His heart, which up until now had been trying to beat straight out of his chest, finally started to slow.

"Ma'am, what's the matter with him?" asked a small, scared voice. Jess realized that was Knute.

"He'll be alright," the woman said, still holding Jess. "He must think an awful lot of you, the way he lost himself dragging you off the field."

Knute told her quietly that he didn't remember that part. He hit his head when the cannon ball landed and woke up here. Jess wasn't sure where "here" was exactly, but the fact that the cannons were silent reassured him.

The other voice from earlier started speaking again. As Jess calmed down, he realized it was Tommy. "He found you out there, Knute, he must have seen you go down. I don't rightly know how he even knew it was you. He had to be almost a quarter mile from you when you fell. Your brother and I got separated from him in the fighting. He beat you to us, somehow, and had you slung over his shoulders. All three of us ran back here together. When Duncan tried to take you from him, Jess socked him straight in the face. Jess didn't even know who we were," he finished. Jess thought this was the first time he'd ever heard Tommy whisper. "Then the nurse here came over and started talkin' him down."

Knute was shocked. Jess opened his eyes again to see Knute looking between him and Duncan, who was on Knute's other side, silent and serious. One side of his jaw was already looking a bit swollen. "Jess, is that true? You socked him one?" Knute asked in disbelief.

Jess tried speaking, but his voice sounded funny. It sounded too loud in his head, and scratchy like he hadn't had water in days. He felt the vibrations of his voice down to his core. Well, that ain't never happened before. He tried again.

"I don't know, Knute, I don't remember anything. I just knew I had to get you out of there." He could tell by the way they all leaned in that he hadn't been too loud after all. He closed his eyes again. "Ma'am, seems to me like we skipped a few steps here. Who might you be, exactly?"

The woman laughed. Jess realized he could actually feel the sound, vibrating where his cheek rested against her shoulder. "My name is Nurse Zanders, soldier, but you and your friends can call me Beth."

Beth. Jess liked that name. "Now boys, I think if young Mr. Knute here is up to moving, we ought to get Jess out of this crowd so he can calm down," Beth said. Knute nodded and his brother helped him stand. Tommy gathered their gear.

Beth started to stand too, pulling Jess up with her, and he realized his legs were going to have a hard time holding him up. Tommy appeared on his other side, slipping and arm around his waist. The odd group moved away from the crowd, which Jess realized now was a small field hospital. Beth lead the way behind a stand of trees, next to the bank of a small river. They lowered Jess to the ground. The tumbling of the water around the boulders in the stream and the cool, soft grass finally let Jess relax. He felt like he'd run all the way to Texas and back in one day. He turned his gaze to Knute, who was kneeling beside him, and tried to see if he was really okay.

Jess noticed the blood on Knute's face, coming from a cut near his hairline. It didn't look to serious. His gaze traveled down to the boy's eyes, sharp and clear. For the first time, Jess could see little amber flecks in that light brown. He continued his scan over each freckle. His gaze zeroed in on the fain pulse just under Knute's jaw. The tiny movement meant the boy really was alive; that Jess had reached him in time. As he continued to watch, he became aware of a soft thump thump, thump thump, thump thump, that matched the pulsing movement.

"Easy now, Jess," Beth said. Her voice snapped his concentration and he suddenly realized he'd been staring at Knute for quite some time. The other boys were confused and scared for their friend. Tommy still had that blank, shocked stare and Knute was trying hard not to be afraid of Jess's intense scrutiny. Duncan was standing silently above them, slowly rubbing his jaw, his expression hard. Jess looked around the group, and his blue eyes settling on Beth.

"Ma'am, I'd really appreciate if you could tell me what's happening," he said, his voice starting to shake.

Beth's eyes crinkled as she smiled. "Young man, you mean to tell me you didn't know you were a sentinel?"

Tommy, never one to hold his tongue, jumped straight in. "What's a sentinel?"