Summary:
Family gatherings don't always bring out the best in Mulder.
Prompt #4 Do you even know what this means
Also inspired by a dear friend's tweet. There is a Hank Moody line in this fic!
Obviously, because it's fictober, I'm still on the no beta kick.
Happy reading!
On most occasions, Mulder looked forward to Scully family gatherings. That is, unless Bill Scully was on the guest list, then they became unbearable. But this was big; it was Maggie's birthday and Scully was hosting a dinner party at the house. Their house.
This would be the first time all the Scully's would be at their house. Mulder usually didn't argue with Scully about trivial things like birthdays. He followed her lead on them. She'd buy the presents, and she'd tell them when and where they were going and who they were celebrating.
The only birthday he had memorized was hers. And only after she beat cancer. He would gladly remember her birthday as a reminder that he almost lost her.
But this time, it was different. This time, he didn't want to follow her lead. Of course, he knew it was a moot point, but it didn't stop him from trying.
"C'mon, babe. Here?" he grumbled.
"Mulder, we went through this. It's the only way to surprise Mom. She has to think she's coming over for our Monthly dinners. It's the only way."
Mulder sighed, then, with a slight growl in his voice, "But Bill is coming and he hates me."
"Oh and you don't reciprocate that hate," she said, her blue eyes piercing through him.
"Well, I didn't say that. And besides, he started it."
Scully shook her head, "Oh, Mulder, you are so dramatic. Charlie's coming and he's bringing his new boyfriend, Nate. I think this is the one."
Mulder lifted his eyebrows at the news. He liked Charlie and Charlie liked him. Whenever they would get together, they'd pontificate over classic literature and the Roman Empire with a bottle of whiskey Charlie would bring over. It was 'their thing'.
"Okay, well, just know, I'm only doing this because, one, it's Mom's birthday and two, Charlie's coming and I can dull my senses with liquor," Mulder said as he followed Scully into the kitchen. She turned around and he stopped short.
"Thank you, Mulder. You are a bigger man than Bill. It's one of the many reasons I love you." She threw her arms around his neck and he leaned down to meet her kiss.
"Where did you say you picked up this whiskey, Charlie?" Mulder shouted from the kitchen to Charlie, who was sitting on the couch, while Scully was showing Nate around the unremarkable house.
"I didn't. But if you must know, it was a gift." Charlie responded flatly. Mulder smirked at his reply. There was no doubt Charlie and Dana were siblings.
Mulder poured the whiskey into two short crystal glasses and joined Charlie on the couch. He handed Charlie a drink then settle comfortably on the couch.
"So what time is mom supposed to get here?" Charlie asked.
"She should arrive soon. I think Bill is showing up later. Their flight was delayed," Mulder said.
His face must have betrayed his thoughts, because Charlie took notice.
"Yikes, it's that bad, huh?" He said, then took a sip of his drink.
"What do you mean?"
"You looked constipated when you mentioned his name." Charlie laughed and Mulder took a sip of his drink to hide the small grin that had appeared across his face.
"What's so funny?" Scully said as she and Nate entered back from the grand tour.
"Oh, nothing that we all don't already know," Charlie said. Mulder huffed out a chuckle and Scully raised an eyebrow. "Nevermind, don't tell me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss when it concerns you two," Scully said.
"How was the tour, babe? Are you ready to leave the city and settle down like my sister and her overtly handsome husband did?" Charlie said, walking over to Nate and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"You think I'm overtly handsome?" Mulder said, coyly.
"Well, yes, why else would my sister put up with you?" The four of them laughed and Scully joined Mulder on the couch, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.
"Hush Charile. There are tons of reasons why I put up with him. Being handsome is just a plus."
"Thanks Scully. I think," Mulder said, then took another sip of his whiskey. He was well on his way toward a nice alcoholic buzz.
Bill and his family showed up twenty minutes after Maggie arrived. And while Mulder wasn't keen on Bill being at the house, his heart warmed at how excited Maggie had been to have all her living children in one place. And when Charile announced that Nate and him were getting married, Maggie could hardly contain her excitement.
"Do you even know what this means?" Maggie said excitedly to her family. "All my children will be in one place again!"
Happy Maggie always made Mulder feel happy. Of course, the whiskey might have had something to do with his current disposition.
The party had been fairly uneventful and it had started to wind down. Maggie and Nate were in the kitchen helping Scully with the dishes and birthday cake clean up.
Mulder was sitting on the couch with Charlie, discussing past X-file cases. Like his sister, Charlie was a skeptic. But Mulder enjoyed their sparring back and forth.
He and Scully didn't discuss the X-Files much anymore and it was honestly a relief for them both. They had moved on to healthier and happier things.
"Okay but what about that one guy who's supposed to reappear in 2023? Do you think he will?" Charlie asked.
"His name is Tooms, Eugene Tooms. And I do. Honestly, though, I am grateful that your sister and I won't have to worry about it." Mulder said.
Just then, Tara and Bill entered the room with their kids. They had been outside on the porch and Mulder was happy Bill had for the most part, kept his distance from him.
"Worry about what?" Tara said as she plopped down next to Charlie. Mulder had always liked Tara, but he believed Bill had probably been emotionally manipulative toward her throughout their marriage.
Bill really was a fucking dick. Mulder thought to himself.
"Oh, Mulder and I were just discussing some of their old X-file cases. The famous ones, that is," Charlie said toward Tara.
"Ohhh, tell me. I love to hear about your old cases. They are so fascinating!" Tara responded by wrapping her arm around Charlie. Which must have annoyed Bill because he made a loud sigh of disdain at Tara's response. Mulder noticed right away, and it crawled under his skin in all the wrong ways.
"You have something to say, Bill?" Mulder quipped. Instantly regretting it when he did. He must have said it loudly because the house went silent.
"Acutully Fox …" Bill started, but Maggie interrupted him.
"Bill Scully," she sternly warned him from the kitchen.
Mulder was pretty sure she had used that tone with Bill often when the Scully siblings were little. He imagined Bill had always been a fucking dick.
Mulder quickly stood, fully prepared to antagonize Bill. Of course, it hadn't occurred to Mulder that he might have had too much to drink when he did.
"No, go on, Bill. Please enlighten us with your superior thoughts."
Dripping with sarcasm, he continued, "What could you possibly add to the conversation that we don't already know?" Mulder finished.
He avoided Scully's stare.
Bill walked over, standing only a couple of feet from Mulder.
"You talk about the X-files like you have some big claim to fame. No one cares about ghosts and cats with horns. The way I see it, the only good thing that came out of the X-files and the FBI was my sister," Bill said in a tone laced with vitriol.
Scully started to walk toward the living room, no doubt prepared to cool Mulder down. He could think back to several times when she calmed him just before he was about to do something he'd regret. A simple touch of her hand would work. But this time, his words were too quick.
"For once, I agree with you, Bill," Mulder said.
You could hear a pin drop.
He continued, "Scully was the best thing that came out of the X-files. And you are also right that I probably won't go down in history," he paused and before he realized it, the words flowed from his mouth, "But I will go down on your sister."
Dead silence.
Then, behind Mulder, still sitting on the couch, Tara gasped loudly, while Charlie laughed then added, "Well, at least we know one Scully is getting lucky tonight."
Maggie stood in the kitchen, her hand covering her face, while Nate looked stunned, as if he were watching an episode of Springer, not sure if he should continue watching or turn away.
Scully was standing next to Bill now and while Mulder expected the worst, something else happened. Something he wasn't prepared for.
Giggles . laughter. Uncontrolled laughter bubbled up from Scully.
Then, as if a contagion had spread, Maggie joined in, still shaking her head but now holding her belly. Nate as well laughed and before he knew it, Mulder had joined in on the group merriment. Everyone except Tara and Bill, that is.
Mulder suspected Tara had started to giggle, but then Bill shot her a look of disgust, and she quickly stopped.
Bill huffed and moved to the couch, pulling Tara's hand and yelling for the kids at the same time. "We're leaving," he said to the still laughing group. Maggie tried to gather herself. "Oh, c'mom, Bill, don't leave." But it was too late; Bill had already gathered his family and they made a beeline to the front door.
"Mom, Dana. I will see you both soon. As for you, Charlie, congratulations. But really, when are you going to grow up?" And with that, they all left. Bill slamming the front door behind him.
Mulder rubbed the back of his neck deciding if he should apologize to Maggie Scully or his Scully first. But before he could decide Charlie stood up.
"Well that was fun. Personally, I'm glad my sister is being taken care of in more ways than one. Now who's up for a friendly game of Scrabble?"
And they all busted out in another round of laughter.