LISA

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—8 years ago

The shower door opened and steam billowed out. I smiled, finding a naked Lily ready to join me.

"Hey. You feeling better?"

Lily stepped inside the stall and shut the door behind her. She put both her palms on my chest. "Yeah. It must've been the flu or something."

The flu. That's what she always called it. Lily seemed to get the flu more and more over the last year. Yet the days she spent curled up in bed never came with a cough or fever. Lily was depressed. Of course, she had every right to be. She'd dropped out of college because she hated the non-art classes, her mom had disappeared into the wind a year ago, taking her three-year-old brother, Leo, with her, and both of us had taken my mom's death a few months ago pretty hard.

But Lily's constant, bedridden bouts of depression seemed like more than just regular depression. She would shut down for days every time her flu hit. She didn't eat, didn't talk, didn't function as a person. And even though she spent almost twenty-four-seven in bed, she rarely slept. She just stared, unfocused, lost in her own head.

It scared me. I didn't say it, but more and more lately, her highs and lows reminded me of her mom's—so much so that I'd been pushing her to see a therapist. That discussion always turned her depression into anger. Because to her, needing help meant she was like her mom.

Lily leaned in and pressed her body against mine. She shut her eyes and looked up at the streaming water as it rained down. A huge smile spread across her face, and I couldn't have stopped the one that broke out on mine if I'd tried. That's the thing with Lily—her smile was contagious. When she didn't have the flu, she was so full of life and happiness, more so than the average person. The happy times always made me forget about the sad ones…until it happened all over again a few months later.

She pushed up on her tippy toes and pressed her lips to mine. The water from overhead streamed down over our joined lips. It tickled, and both of us started to laugh.

"I've been thinking about something," she said.

I pushed the wet hair from her face and smiled. "I'm hoping you're thinking about bending over and hanging on to that wall behind you."

Lily giggled. "I'm serious."

I took her hand and slid it between us, down to my erection. "So am I. Can you tell?"

She laughed more. "I've been thinking about how much I love you."

"Well, I like the sound of that. Go on."

"And how much I love living down here with you."

My grandfather had given me a boat a few months ago on my twenty-first birthday—the very first boat he ever built. When Mom died, Lily and I decided to move into it and live down at the marina. It wasn't exactly a traditional home, but my girl wasn't exactly traditional either, and it made her happy. Plus, we spent every weekend sailing and exploring new places together. Since I'd started working for my family's company after graduating college a few months ago, we could pretty much afford to live wherever we wanted. But this boat felt right for us. And it made Lily happy, most of the time.

"I love living down here with you, too."

"So what I was thinking was…" Lily looked down and went quiet.

I slipped two fingers under her chin and tilted her head up so our eyes met. "What's on your mind, Lily? Talk to me."

"I was thinking… Well…" She dropped to her knees.

Not the direction I thought she was going, but that sure as shit worked for me.

But then she looked up and took my hand and lifted from two knees to only one. My heart beat out of control,

"I love you, Lisa." She smiled. "Will you…marry me?"

I pulled her up from the floor. "Get up here. I should be the one down there, not you. I've actually been thinking about us a lot lately. And I would love to marry you."

Lily smiled.

"But…" I said.

Her smile wilted.

I'd been thinking a lot about having this conversation, though I would have planned it a little better—so we weren't having it naked in this small shower. But this was life with Lily, unpredictable and always an adventure. I'd learned to roll with the punches because of her.

I cupped her cheeks. "I want to marry you more than anything. But you've been getting…the flu…a lot lately. And I really want you to talk to someone, go see a doctor."

The look on Lily's face broke my heart. Any discussion of her needing help sliced straight through her. She abruptly turned, swung open the shower door, and ran out of the bathroom.

"Lily! Wait!" I twisted the water off and jumped out of the shower. On my second step, I hit a patch of water she'd left behind and my foot slipped out from under me. I landed on my ass. "Goddammit. Lily, wait!"

But it was too late. While I climbed up from the floor, Lily just kept running. She was already up the stairs and outside the cabin before I could even grab a towel and follow her. I emerged on the back deck, still wrapping the towel around my body just as she jumped off the boat, buck-ass naked.

"Lily!"

She ignored me and took off down the dock. When I caught her, I wrapped my arms around her from behind. "Stop. Stop running. We need to talk."

Just then, an older couple came out from the cabin of their boat. Their eyes grew wide. I put my hand up and spoke to them. "Sorry. We're leaving. We were just…playing a little game, and it got out of control. Everything's fine."

Realizing what it might look like, that I was holding on to a naked woman who was trying to run away, I spoke to Lily. "Right, babe? Tell the nice couple everything is good."

Lily had run out upset and angry, but her mood shifted at the calamity we found ourselves in. She started to laugh. "Naked tag," she yelled to the gawking couple. "I guess I'm it now."

We started to crack up. I took the towel from around my body and wrapped it around Lily's front to cover her up. I kept myself pressed tightly to her back so as to not fully expose myself as we turned back to our boat. I waved as we walked in tandem. "Sorry about that. You have a good day."

Once we were back on the boat, we laughed inside the cabin for a solid five minutes. This was my Lily. My wild, beautiful, adventurous girl who one minute made me panic and the next had tears of laughter running down my face. I plopped down on the couch and pulled her onto my lap, stripping her of the towel in the process. I took her face in my hands.

"I love you, my wild girl. I want to marry you. But I do think you need to see someone."

Lily frowned. "I'm not crazy like my mother."

"I know that. But do it for me anyway."

Lily thought about it, then nodded. "Fine. I'll go see whoever you want. Get me an appointment today."

I smiled. "I didn't mean it had to be this minute. But I'll look for someone. Okay?"

"Then we can get married?"

I looked deep into her eyes. "I promise. But give me a little time to do this right."

..

Today was the seven-year anniversary of the day we'd first met. I'd bought a beautiful ring, made reservations at a fancy restaurant, and talked the owner of Lily's favorite art gallery into opening for us privately tonight so I could propose. Everything was going perfect. It had been three weeks since Lily's proposal, and a few days ago she'd gone to her first appointment with a therapist. Surprisingly, she'd come home and said she liked the doctor a lot. Yet even though everything was perfect, my palms were sweating like a bitch as the gallery owner slipped out so we could be alone.

"I can't believe you did all this."

"Anything for my girl."

We walked around hand in hand, taking our time in front of each painting like Lily loved to do. The day I'd come into the gallery to talk to the owner, I'd walked around and looked at all of the artwork. One in particular caught my eye and solidified that I'd made the right choice to propose. Two canvases away was a piece titled Promises. It was an abstract of a woman standing at the altar. Only the back of her wedding dress showed, but the focus of the piece was all the flower petals on a white runner along the church aisle. While everything else was black and white, the flower petals were colorful and vibrant. The minute I'd seen it that day, it reminded me of Lily—she was those petals on the floor to me. I knew it was the perfect spot to propose.

I took a deep breath as we walked over in front of the painting. Lily's face lit up when she saw it. And just like always, I smiled seeing her smile. While she admired the art, I bent down on one knee.

She screeched and covered her mouth when she noticed. "Yes!"

I chuckled. "I didn't ask anything yet, babe."

She knelt so we were both on one knee. "Lisa."

"Yeah?"

"I have a surprise for you, too."

"What's that?"

"I'm pregnant."

..

I'd taken to recording the morning news and watching it at my desk.

I had a pile of work stacked up, a shitload of emails waiting for responses, and yet here I was, sitting at my desk on a Saturday watching yesterday morning's show for the second time. Jennie looked good in turquoise. It brought out the color in her eyes. Though I didn't get a good look at the full dress because she was always behind that desk. Maybe I should suggest the anchors get up at some point in the show, change things up a bit.

Jesus Christ. Was this really what I was doing? Analyzing a woman's wardrobe choices to decide what outfit complements her eyes more? And debating calling down to the director of broadcasting to demand that the anchor stand so I can get a better look at her body? I needed my head fucking examined.

Blowing out a stream of hot air, I forced myself to X out of the video recording. I had work to do. Shitloads of it. Before Jennie Ruby Jane, I couldn't have even told you the name of the station we owned, much less what anyone wore. To say the woman had me distracted would be an understatement.

I picked up a file and started to go through a prospective investment that had been sitting on my desk since last week. But two pages into it, my phone buzzed, and though I'd normally ignore it while working, I dug it out of my pocket.

Jennie: Thank you for the flowers. I had a good time last night, too. Especially the end part up against my car.

She'd included a little winky face at the end of her text. Normally, people who used emojis in their texts pissed me off. Yet I found myself smiling at the little yellow face. I texted back.

Lisa: Dinner tonight?

Jennie: Can't. I have plans.

Since I had plans on Sunday, I texted back suggesting next weekend, but she was busy then, too. An hour later, the text exchange was still bugging me.

She has plans.

Did she have a date? I'd had drinks with her once, so her having dinner with someone else wasn't exactly off limits. Yet the idea of her going out with a man made me crazy.

I forced myself back to work and tried to ignore thoughts of her out with some guy tonight. But I reread the same page three times and still had no idea what the words said. So I tossed the file aside and picked my phone back up.

Lisa: Are your plans tonight a date?

The little dots started to jump around and then stopped and started a few times.

Jennie: Would that upset you?

Answering a question with a question was right up there next to how much I disliked emojis. This woman was screwing with me. I didn't play games. I didn't have damn time for games. Which reminded me…I needed to get back to work.

I tossed my phone to the side and dug back into the investment prospectus I had been trying to digest.

But twenty minutes later, I had my goddamned phone in my hand again. I was completely distracted by just one simple text. I wasn't sure if I was angrier at myself for needing to know her plans or her for not answering my question.

Lisa: Just answer the question.

Her response was immediate.

Jennie: Boy, someone's cranky.

I took a deep breath, which did little to help me relax.

Lisa: That would be because I'm still waiting for an answer to my question…

Jennie: Is the muscle in your jaw flexing right now?

I read her text and looked up at the ceiling. This woman was going to be the death of me. And I was starting to get a headache from how hard I'd been clenching my teeth. So she wasn't wrong about the muscle in my jaw.

Lisa: Jennie…answer the damn question.

My phone started to buzz for a call, rather than a text. Jennie's name flashed on the screen. I swiped to answer.

"Why must you be so difficult?" I said in greeting.

Jennie laughed, and the sound instantly softened the muscle in my jaw. "You're fun to screw with."

I leaned back in my chair. "I'm much more fun to screw. How about we move on to that phase of the relationship instead of you making me fucking nuts?"

I could tell she was still smiling when she spoke. "I do have a date tonight, but you don't have anything to be worried about because he's married."

"Come again?"

She giggled. "I have the rehearsal dinner for my best friend Rosé's wedding, which is next weekend. My partner in the wedding is her brother, who is married to a man. So technically, I guess he's my date tonight."

Great. Now I'm jealous of a gay, married man…

"How about Sunday?" she said.

I decided to see if turnabout was fair play. "Can't. I have a date."

Of course, that date was with my grandmother to play Santa Claus at the annual Pia's Place party…

She was quiet for a long moment and then said in a curt tone. "Well, if you have a date, you don't need a second one with me."

I smiled. "You see how that feels, Jennie? It's not very pleasant, is it? Especially not while I'm trying to get work done. My date tomorrow is with my grandmother."

"Oh."

"Next weekend, then?" I said. I really didn't want to wait that long.

Jennie sighed. "Next weekend is the wedding. Rosé and I are going to spend the last night in our apartment together Friday night and then Saturday is the wedding and Sunday is a brunch with the wedding party. I don't usually go out on weeknights because I get up so early for work. But maybe we can have an early dinner or something one night?"

"I'm leaving Monday for a business trip to the east coast. I'll be gone until Thursday evening."

"Oh." At least she sounded as disappointed as I felt. "Well, maybe the weekend after, then. Or maybe…would it be too weird if I asked you to come with me to the rehearsal dinner tonight? Spouses are coming that aren't in the wedding. So it's not just the wedding party."

I'd been thinking of our date as being a nice quiet evening with just the two of us, not a night with all of her friends at some wedding rehearsal. But waiting two weeks to see her was not an option. So I'd have to take what I could get.

"What time should I pick you up?"

"Really? You'll come?"

"Apparently that's the only way I'm going to get to see you, so yes. But, full disclosure, I'm only coming because I can't wait to push you up against the car again and suck your face."

She laughed. "That's fair. How about six thirty? The rehearsal is at seven and dinner is right after. They're getting married at the restaurant, so the rehearsal part won't take very long."

"I'll be there at six fifteen. Because I won't be waiting until after dinner for my kiss."

..

That evening, my heart started to pump at an almost alarming speed the minute she opened the door. Jennie's hair was pulled back from her face and pinned up. She had on another blue outfit; this one a powder blue, body-hugging dress with a wide, scooped neck that exposed her collarbone. It showed a hint of cleavage, which was sexy as hell, but something about that collarbone made me salivate. I'd teased her on the phone about picking her up early because I intended to get round two of the kiss, but I hadn't planned on mauling her the minute she opened the door.

Though you know the old saying about the best laid plans...

Jennie smiled and said hello, stepping aside for me to enter, though I only made it halfway through. Backing her up against the open apartment door, I wrapped my hands around her cheeks and planted my lips over hers. She hadn't been expecting it, but it didn't take long for her to join in. She dug her hands into my hair and yanked, and I sucked on her sweet tongue. Reaching down, I cupped the back of her thigh and lifted so I could move closer. Before I knew it, her legs were wrapped around my waist, and I was grinding a growing erection between her legs. If I'd liked her a little less, I would have dropped to my knees and buried my face between her legs for a taste right there against the door. But Jennie deserved more respect than that. So, begrudgingly, I pulled back from the kiss.

She blinked a few times, and it made me smile that she seemed as lost in the moment as I had been. "Jeez. That was as good as the first time."

I lifted my thumb to her mouth and wiped some of her smeared lipstick from beneath her bottom lip. "I haven't been able to focus on anything but this mouth since you pulled out of the parking lot last night."

She smiled. "I love how honest you are."

I brushed my lips against hers again and spoke with them touching. "If you like my honesty, there're plenty of things I'd be happy to tell you about—things I'd like to do to you."

She giggled and gave me a playful shove. "Why don't you come in so I can shut the door? I've already been fired for indecent exposure once. I wouldn't want it to happen a second time."

"Trust me. If you'd like to prance around naked right now, you most certainly won't be fired."

The inside of her apartment was filled with boxes. She pointed to an empty spot on the couch and said, "Take a seat wherever you can find one. I just need to grab my purse and freshen up my lipstick now that you're wearing half of it."

I wiped my lips with my thumb. "Take your time."

While Jennie disappeared down the hall, I looked around the apartment a bit. There were a few framed photos on the bookshelf, two of her and another woman—who I assumed might be her roommate—one of Jennie, who looked to be about seven or eight with what I guessed was her mother, and another one of her taken recently with an older woman.

Jennie came up behind me while I had that one in my hand. "That's my Aunt Opal. My mom's sister. She raised me after my mother died. She's like a mother to me. Three months ago she moved down to Florida. It's odd not having her close by anymore."

"You two remained close?"

She nodded. "She has macular degeneration, so she's slowly losing her eyesight. She went to live with her daughter in Sanibel Island. Carly is twelve years older than me. She'd already moved out when her mom took me in when I was ten. But we're close. We text every few days. I'm going down to visit next month."

"I was five when I moved in with my mother."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened that you wound up in foster care?"

It wasn't something I spoke about often, but Jennie had been so open about her family history. "My mother was fifteen when I was born. My father isn't named on my birth certificate and was never in the picture. She had a tough home life of her own, and we bounced around from place to place. Eventually, she got into drugs, and we were living in shelters. One night she snuck out and never came back. Haven't seen her since."

Jennie's hand covered her heart. "Oh, God. I'm so sorry."

I put down the framed photo. "Don't be. I was lucky. The first family I was placed with was my parents. I was never bounced around like a lot of kids. I had a good childhood. Pia was the best mom in the world. My dad worked a lot, but he was great, too. They're my parents."

Jennie smiled sadly. "Yeah. I sort of feel the same way. Even though I have nice memories of my mom, I feel like Opal was my parent. Come with me. I want to show you something."

I followed her into her bedroom, and she pointed to a sign over her bed.

No rain. No flowers.

"A lot of my mom's death and everything that happened around that time is a blur. But I remember the priest coming to talk to me after her funeral and saying these words when I was crying. Somehow they've stuck with me over the years. Seems appropriate for your history, too."

I looked into her eyes. Fuck me. This woman was something else. I was standing ten feet away from her bed, and all I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms. The fact that I didn't want to bend her over the bed and fuck her sort of freaked me out a little.

I blinked a few times and looked away. "It's a beautiful saying."

Jennie grabbed a sweater from her closet and a purse from her dresser. "You ready to meet my friends?"

"I'd prefer to have you all to myself, but I'm ready to head out, if that's what you're asking."

She smiled and took my hands. "You want to know a secret?"

"What's that?"

"I'm a little afraid to be all alone with you. That's honestly one of the reasons I insisted on drinks rather than a full date."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I sort of don't trust myself with you. You make me…nervous. Not in a bad way, if that makes any sense."

I took one of our joined hands and brought it to my lips to kiss her knuckles. "It makes a lot of sense. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you scare the shit out of me, too."

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