Shelagh sat at the reception desk in Patrick's office organizing the cards to be sent with the latest batch of pregnancy tests. She was glad they were in alphabetical order as Patrick would only read the one on top then sign all of them before returning them to her to send. This meant that he would sign the one with her name on it and he wouldn't even glance at the name. She was glad she had thought to do this on Monday as there were more tests to send from over the weekend and her name blended in among the others.
She thought back on the past two weeks and all the symptoms she had been experiencing. They had both been sick while returning from South Africa and for several days more once they were home. Patrick had called it Cape Town Tummy and said that it was a frequent occurrence for international travelers. Patrick had then gotten better while she remained nauseous and was still vomiting daily. It took several more days for her to notice it was really only happening in the morning or anytime she smelled milk. Even the thought of milk now made her queasy. When she was able to eat she also got the most horrible heartburn, she had taken to carrying Rennie's with her at all times. On top of her stomach ailments, her breasts were painful and tender, making the care of a toddler difficult. Especially as Angela had missed her and now wanted to be picked up or held constantly. Shelagh was also dreadfully tired. More so than she normally was when caring for her family and doing her nursing duties for the surgery. She inventoried all her symptoms and came to only one conclusion, pregnancy explained them all. But she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant. She told herself she was just doing this test to prove she was wrong. She knew her and Patrick could not have biological children, no matter what the signs seemed to be pointing to. If she ruled this out she could focus on diagnosing what illness this truly was but she could think of nothing else that fit all of the symptoms.
Patrick swept into the surgery after his morning rounds and stopped near her desk to remove his coat and hang it, she was pulled from her thoughts at his entrance. He kissed her cheek, prim and proper in the reception area as she preferred. She handed him the stack of cards to sign and told him about the afternoon appointments he had before he went to his office. She waited a few minutes before grabbing his lunch from the small kitchen area then joined him in his office, setting the plate on his desk. He made no comment about the lack of tea with his sandwich or her lack of lunch or even about the pregnancy test cards as she picked them up. She rushed back out to the reception room, letting out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding in. She smiled at her sneaky success and readied all the samples for pick up which would occur promptly at noon.
The next few days passed slowly despite the joy of the rest of the Nonnatus group that had gone to South Africa finally returning home. Shelagh's symptoms continued. In fact she thought they were worsening. Her nausea never seemed to go away and more smells were sending her off to the smallest room. This included moments when she was supposed to be at the reception desk at the surgery and she had even once had to have Tim cover for her. Her tiredness was getting worse too and she had caught herself napping on the settee after tea when Tim was upstairs doing homework and Angela was distracted by the telly. She was surprised Patrick or Tim hadn't said anything yet, especially Tim with how observant he was.
Finally on Thursday morning when sorting the post at the surgery she saw the letter with her results. She ripped it open knowing she only had an hour before Patrick would be back from his morning rounds. Her eyes quickly skimmed down the page looking for the word "negative" which she had become accustomed to seeing on these tests during her first year of marriage. However, this time in the bold typed font she saw the word "positive". Her breath caught in her throat and she felt unshed tears burn her eyes.
She took the paper with her as she locked herself in the bathroom as the tears began. She stood at the sink and took deep breaths to try to calm herself. This wasn't supposed to be possible. Her heart jumped for joy at the notion of her and Patrick having a baby but her rational brain kept repeating that this was not supposed to happen and something would most likely go wrong. She realized instead of the joy she had once expected from a result like this she now only felt fear. She knew what could happen to the baby or to her at any time in the upcoming months and she was afraid of those possibilities. Concern at the effects of TB that were supposed to stop her from getting pregnant flooded her head. How could a child grow for nine months in her TB affected womb? Would it even survive? She stared at the word "positive" on the paper she had thrown into the sink and began going through a string of prayers in her head while her knuckles turned white from her grip on the sink.
Eventually through repeating her prayers she had her breathing and tears under control. The fear was not gone but at least she had calmed down. She folded the paper and placed it in her pocket. She then removed her glasses and splashed water on her face. Once composed she returned to her desk to sort the patient files for the day. However, her mind could not focus. How was she going to tell Patrick? She knew he would be excited but he would also be worried. After last year's Thalidomide scandal she didn't want to make him worried about anything but she knew this couldn't stay secret forever. She knew she couldn't handle this alone, no matter what happened with the baby.
The debate of when and how to tell Patrick continued in her mind all day. Then that evening she told Sister Julienne. She hadn't planned to. Her reaction to the milky tea that Sister Julienne had handed her during their discussion of Sister Mary Cynthia had naturally led her to reveal the new secret. She couldn't believe that Sister Julienne had been praying for this for the past three years. Especially after their morality discussion last summer over birth control. She smiled at the thought, her former Sister in Christ was now the best friend she could ask for. She knew she needed to tell Patrick and she thought back on the romantic gestures she had received from him over the years. Too bad the old church hall kitchen where their relationship had started wasn't there anymore, she thought. But then the vivid memory of a note from him and someone else flashed in her mind and she smiled.
On Saturday morning she glanced down at the artwork she was working on and then smiled up at Angela. She knew the little girl wouldn't really understand any of this for a long time but she also knew she couldn't keep a secret. The drawing would have to be given to Patrick today, most likely at the surgery before he would have a chance to hear from Angela about her day or the drawing. She commented on how lovely Angela's picture was then added the words to her own. She folded it and placed it in her uniform pocket with a plan to find some ribbon from the wrapping supplies during Angela's nap.
That afternoon she walked into the surgery to see Patrick at the file organizer in reception, she smiled brightly. She had to do this now.
"Patrick. You gave me a note once, from you and someone else." She took several steps to get closer to him as he turned to face her.
"Now I'm giving you this, from me and someone else." She finished the thought as she handed him the folded paper wrapped in pink ribbon.
He quickly untied the pink bow and removed the ribbon then unfolded the paper. His brain saw the image of a baby, no a fetus, he realized. But he couldn't process the words until he read them aloud. "Please will you be my dad?" He looked up into her eyes questioningly. She smiled wider, dimples appearing on her cheeks, and nodded. He embraced her, holding his amazing wife in his arms. He stared down at her so he could look at her face, that smile was one he never wanted to forget.
"Oh Patrick. I guess it was more than Cape Town Tummy for me." She teased, causing him to laugh before he leaned down to kiss her, internally thanking God for this wonderful news.