Chapter
The Past You Never Leave Behind
He never again dropped a dish. He never burnt the food. One time he served potatoes that were a bit raw, another time asparagus; but Tom had overlooked these gaffs with little more than to get Joe to admit his failures. That's what he did now. Every time he'd find spots on the dishes, or windows, or spots on his leaves; Joe would have to admit how worthless he was. But as for the beatings that he was sure he deserved, they had all but stopped. When he did lash out, which were few and far between, no mark came from it. Joe learned to take those strikes with humility. Each one was only an effort to improve him in some way.
Tom had taken to gripping Joe either by the arm or by his neck, with a painful hold.
During one of these moments of wrongdoing, while Tom gripped his arm, Tom was so angry that Joe was sure he would be struck, but Tom forced himself under control. He told Joe, that he could see his efforts. See that he was trying and as long as he would continue to try, Tom would too. He released the boy and smoothed down his shirt, not his own shirt as he was used to seeing, but Joe's. He'd groom him in an effort to make sure he was good and proper. In a calm voice he assured that he was doing his best not to lose his temper with him. He also said that Joe had a lot to do with that.
~.~
One day as he was taking the dishes to the kitchen after lunch, Tom came out to meet him. He hadn't noticed he even came into the house. Tom looked down at him strangely. He had expected Tom to make him say what he needed him to. He was just waiting for the prompt, but Tom looked on. There was almost a softness in the way he stared but it was mostly cold, reflective.
"Do you remember the letters?" He started.
"Yes, sir." How could he forget?
"Do you remember me telling you that I would love the day I'd get to send him the one of praise?"
"Yes. I remember."
"I want you to know Joe. I sent him that letter."
"What?" His heart thrilled but he pushed it down. Was this a trick? It didn't seem so.
"I think you have done very well lately. You have come far."
Joe was close to crying, close to breaking but held on. Oh it was great news that he sent him the letter, but it wasn't the news he wanted to hear. He needed to know what came of it. Tom must have known the secret question in the boys heart, because he answered.
"Your father is coming in three days. I want him to see what we've worked on. I want him to see the good boy you've become. You have become a good boy. I'm proud of the achievement we've made in such a short period of time. I mean for a while I was believing that there was no hope for you but you came along and pulled through."
He rejoiced that night in bed. He could allow himself to feel good. Of course this could all be some horrible game, but Tom seemed genuine in this and Joe hoped it was true. He needed this to be true.
The next day, Tom sat him down at the table to have a chat.
"Did you know that I didn't tell your pa everything?" He said. "Just all that you've been doing?"
Joe was curious at this admission.
"He knows some. But he doesn't know the worst of it. There was a lot I didn't tell him. I chose to hold it back. I was afraid that if he knew it all then he would never take you back, despite your achievements. I mean he was disappointed in you already. Just from the bit he did know. That was enough for him to have his doubts about taking you back. I had to hide the others stuff to get him to change his mind. I did that for you Joe. Kept those truths to myself. So you could go home. I know that you don't like it here and to tell you the truth I don't like you being here. I would like you to go home just as much as you want to go home. But that was not going to happen unless I kept some things back. You understand why I had to do this?"
Joe reflected.
"The little I've said already had a profound effect on him and he thought you incapable of change. I didn't think he needed to hear it all. I knew that if he'd have any chance of accepting you back, he couldn't know everything about you. All your shameful secrets. As it is, we're past that now. I think you've gone far. You've learned much. I just think that things would be a whole lot better off if we just kept some things to ourselves. What do you think?"
Joe nodded softly. Tom returned a soft smile.
"I'll tell you what. I'm willing to make a deal with you Joe. You listening?"
"Yes sir."
"I'm willing to keep your indiscretions a secret. What do you say? Would you like that?"
"Yes sir."
"Unless you want to come clean to your pa. Let him know all that you had done while he was away. Tell me now. Do you? Do you want to?"
Joe wasn't used to lying, but he new these were things he just couldn't tell. Not if it meant him staying on. He shook his head as he drooped it.
"Okay. That's okay. I'm willing to keep it a secret if you are. What do you say? Do we have a deal?"
"Yes sir."
"Okay. Great. I won't tell him of your secrets and there's no need to tell him of how I punished you. Just how I got you to be a good boy. Alright?"
Joe nodded numbly
"Do we have a deal?"
"Yes."
"Say, I promise." Joe looked up. "Say, I promise. This is the only way I know that we're both on the same page. You have to say it. I sure am not going to be the one to come off looking like a fool for keeping things back from your pa, if you can't keep up your end. So say it."
"I promise."
He smiled in a relaxed state. "Good boy."
~.~
The later on he stopped him.
"Remember the promise you made. You know you can't break a promise. Only bad boys break promises and you know what happens to bad boys."
Throughout the day, he'd remind. "You know if you go back to being a bad boy, your pa's just going to send you back. Then we'll have to start all over again, back at the beginning. You don't want that? Do you? Besides, if you do tell him of your punishments, he's just going to want to know of what you did to deserve them. That's just best if we keep it to ourselves."
Tom was no longer making him recite what he used to. Everyday, since the letters, multiple times a day he would remind Joe of this promise and make him repeat it.
~.~
Finally, the day had come.
Tom had washed the whole of Joe's clothes the day prior. When morning came he helped Joe fold them and put them neatly into his suitcases. He'd bathed both boys and dressed Joe in his finest suit. His Sunday suit. Buttoned all the way up. He smoothed out his hair and again methodically washed his face.
Seeing the darkness in Joe's eyes Tom mollified. "Buck up. He's on his way."
He pulled out Joe's church shoes, brushed them off and helped the boy get into them. As if Joe was going to debate, Tom made sure to point out. "It'll have to be these ones. Your boots are shot after that little stunt you pulled." At Joe's look of shame he amended. "But we're past that now, aren't we?" He wiped something imaginary from Joe's cheek as he said this. "Aren't we?"
"Yes sir."
"I know we are. Lucky for you, shoes are my specialty. I could have those boots fixed up in no time. I apologize for not being able to get around to them sooner. I just had some work to catch up on. Don't worry, I'll keep my promise too. I won't tell your pa how they got ruined. Okay?" He pushed for a response.
"Thank you." Tom smiled and stood.
"Alright, I want you to, as neatly as possible, without making a mess, go down and set the table. This is going to be our last meal together. I hoped it could be a nice one."
Joe left the room.
He dressed Scotty when Joe was gone. Near 15 minutes later, father and son came down. Scotty had been dressed in his finest clothes too. A faded blue striped button up. A brown jacket put over. He'd taken care of Scotty's hair and had washed his face.
They both looked spiffy and pristine. Dressed like aristocrats like this is who they were, born and raised. Blue-bloods thru and thru. Like the last eight weeks hadn't happened. Nothing that signified what had been done to get them to this point. Not a sign nor mark was left.
Joe had the table set and ready for them in a fine presentation.
"You remember our secret?" He said as they gathered around it one last time. "And what it would cost if you didn't keep it?"
"Yes sir."
"Trust me Joe, I don't want to see you again any more than you want to see me but I'll do what I have to." He warned. "For them, I will."
They sat around the table for the last time. This time tea filled Tom's cup.
When supper had ended, Tom gave them one more once over. Mashed potato spotted Joe's upper breast, which Tom took effort into washing away, curbing his frustration as he did. Scotty got some in his sleeve. Tom made the same efforts with him.
When they'd finished their meal and cleaned the table. Tom let the boy's help take the dishes from the table with promises to keep clean, but he took the responsibility from there. Putting away the left overs and washing the dishes. He rewarmed the buns and brewed some more tea and set both on the table. They all sat back around it. Tom sipping on a second cup of tea and nibbling on a bun as they waited.
Tom broke the silence of several dry minutes.
"Remember, be respectful." He exhorted. "Be cheerful. Your pa doesn't need to come home after all that journey to a sullen child. Be cheerful but not too cheerful either. He wants to know your time here was good. If you show too much gloom he might be weighed down with leaving you here in the first place, and you and I both know that was something he had to do. He doesn't need that guilt. Be happy and respectful and helpful."
"Yes sir."
"Buck up. He'll be here soon."
Some time had passed when a disturbance came from the corral. Mule was huffing and pawing, the equivalence of a watch dog, to let the occupants know that there were visitors coming. Joe looked up. It was time. Tom glanced knowingly.
"See that? He's on his way. Let's go out and meet him."
The three of them stood just as they had 8 weeks ago when they were watching his family leave, this time with so much that had come to pass, they were returning.
Tom was next to Joe, with his arm over his shoulders.
"Buck up. Stand up straight. Smile. Too much. Be cheerful. There he is. You're going home."
Joe thought he was doing as he was told, making sure to obey even the most minuscule of orders. But somehow it wasn't enough. Tom put his hand at the back of Joe's neck and squeezed his fingers and Joe stiffened.
"Remember what I taught you. If you can't be a good boy, he'll send you right back here." He said with a forced smile. Joe did his best to stifle the new pain that brought about emotional turmoil as well. He just had to do what he needed to do to get on that wagon. Once he was there, he would leave this place and never come back. Just get on that wagon.
When the family got closer Tom released his painful hold and dropped his hand to Joe's shoulder again and waved them near.
"Joe!" Ben called with open arms dropping from the drivers seat. Tom nudged him forward permitting Joe. Joe was careful to not hug his pa too zealously but not grumpy and standoffish either. He sought the medium ground that would neither alert nor annoy either pater.
He wanted nothing more than to fall into his pa's arms but he had to mind himself, Tom was watching. He was seeing everything that he was doing. He gave his pa a respectable hug hoping he wouldn't feel him shake. Adam, had come down to stand over Joe. He could feel his scrutiny. Joe cut the hug short and gathered up his cases and threw them over the side and on into the bed. Hoss helped put them into place fitting them snuggly under the bench seat. While they were doing this, Adam went to shake Tom's hand. To see those two hand in hand ailed Joe. They'd shared something between them, however brief, and Joe knew what it was. Adam may have thought that Joe didn't know, but he knew. Adam reclaimed his seat on the passenger bench.
"Thank you for all you've done." He overheard his pa praise the caretaker as he too shook his hand. Tom gave a glance past his pa meeting the boy's eyes. Everything was said in that look.
"I was happy to do it. I would do it again, anytime. You just say the word." Those words rang an ill effect on the boy.
Never, never again. He would do everything he had to do to not be back here.
"You will be well compensated for sure."
"Don't mention it. Happy to do a friend a favor."
They thought their words were coded but Joe understood them all. He would not make his pa resort to such means ever again.
Ben got in and hit the reins and they drove out. Joe watched Scotty as they drove away. The two of them standing arm against arm. 8 weeks ago Joe was the third man among them. Now it was just the two of them once again. He watched as Tom's arm fell over the boy's shoulder. His other arm lifted to give them all a final wave goodbye. Joe drooped his gaze glad to never lay eyes on that man again.
Thank you to Blooded Wolf, Judi, Erin Mansfield, Rosemary Sherwoo, Becky Blankenshi and to the other guests for reviewing my story.
To Rosemary Sherwoo, I hope you find this message. I've updated both stories and have finished them back to back so both stories should be next to each other now. Otherwise, you can find all of my stories by clicking on the authors name, Angelene111 which is listed next to the Title.
To Becky Blankenshi and all others I have strung along so mercilessly, chapters have been added to this book as well as book one. This completes the series. Hopefully my readers will finally be able to find their resolve. Thank you for sticking with me. I hope to now go back to some of my other works and give you resolve there too.