A/N: Howdy all! We're finally concluding this arc. (Although this is the second-to-last chapter of it, so not that close...) Also, to answer a guest review, I have looked up the two DFs I chose for my protags. I know what they can do in the hands of people who have years of experience and grew up in a similar but different world to the one I've created for this AU. I had to ask myself what a year-one Clank-Clank (and Gol-Gol) user could do. Thanks for reviewing, and keep them coming! But seriously, something's going on with the traffic stat system, and I can't tell how many of you are reading this right now. So, if you like what I do, please leave a comment so I know you at least popped by. Doesn't need to be long-winded (like me) or opinionated. You could just say "Read the chapter. Great job!" or something like that.

Oh, and for those of you who have read Chapter 1094- oh ho ho boy! Do I have words! But, for now, on with the show!

Chapter 8: The Champion

"I don't believe it…" Bowl-cut muttered.

"I can't believe it!" Carrot Top whispered back.

"I can't feel anything," Baldy griped, still coughing up smoke from being used as a bullet (cannonball) sponge. Hidden among the wreckage, the trio gaped in shock at the unthinkable – Buggy the Clown, their captain, beaten by some no-name punk kid who was no worse for wear.

"Hey, this is real bad," Carrot Top elbowed Bowl-cut as he stated the obvious. "The cap'n's never lost before! What are we gonna do?"

"Plus, I think he might be cross," Baldy pointed out, most of him sore from taking a Buggy Ball to his apparently indestructible head. "When he gets back up, he'll finish him, then come for us after wrecking the joint!"

Bowl-cut took their words to heart, thinking carefully about how to handle this new development. Finally, he nodded. "Well, boys. The way I see it, we got two options. We stay here, hope the cap'n grinds Blondie into the dirt, or we get outta here right now, when nobody's looking."

Baldy quirked his head up, thinking about what was put before them. "But don't staying here mean we have to deal with whoever wins this skirmish?"

The three traded looks as they considered that detail. Either Hook won and killed them (after the beating he and Silk had given them before, they knew fighting them and winning was a pipe dream) or Buggy won and, for their hand in making things difficult when the fight began, they'd only wish they had died. All three shivered, and they came to a new conclusion at the same time. "New plan!" Bowl-cut squeaked. "We quit piracy right now, and get while the getting good!"

"Right now?" Carrot Top nervously chuckled, his face very pale at how creative Buggy could get with punishments. "I already quit yesterday!"

"I don't even know what a pirate is!" Baldy added as he immediately followed in brothers in self-preservation, crawling away from the wreckage of the Buggy Pirates as quickly as humanly possible.

Back to the battle, Hook laughed over his downed opponent's form. "Just like you said! No such thing as playing dirty when fighting pirates! Any other advice you wanna give me, ass clown?"

Buggy might have responded, but his answer was hard to hear due to the incomprehensible pitch it was said. As the inconsolable clown pirate lay twitching on the ground, Nami came around the corner, carrying a hefty bag that clinked with each step. "Oh, good! You guys are done! Never doubted you for a second – Oh my God! What happened to Silk!?"

"Oh yeah!" Hook stepped away from the battered pair of legs. (After Buggy dropped, he kept stomping and kicking his lower half to be on the safe side.) "Silk got hurt!"

"Don't worry, kid. She'll live." As the fight had continued, Boodle had moved Silk as carefully as he could to the side. Pulling out bandages on his person, he wrapped her wound as best as he could. "She didn't lose much blood, so she should be fine. I recommend seeing a doctor to be on the safer side."

"I don't need… a doctor!" Silk yelled, despite her pale expression. "I just need… some sleep. Then, I'll be good..."

"Oh, cool. She's alright," Hook sighed with relief. "Seems kinda silly to worry about some stab wound, but I'm glad she's fine!"

"S-stab wound!?" Nami balked. "Do you know what it's like to be stabbed!?"

Hook gave her a flat look, before knocking on his torso. "Not really. Wasn't stabbed even before I got my powers."

"You really… should keep that in mind," Silk said, wincing as she raised herself to sit on her elbows. "Since you are… working with us now."

"Oh," Nami muttered, mentally berating that she had forgotten that. 'Hanging with these two might lower my intelligence! But even still-' "This partnership was a great idea!" Hugging the large sack, she grinned like a young girl with her favorite stuffed animal. "There's easily 1 million beris in here!"

"W-what!?" Boodle gasped. "Wait a moment! I know some of that has to be what Buggy stole from our town!"

Nami blinked, before thinking yes, that would make sense. "Are you sure? Maybe you're imagining it?" The redhead batted her eyelashes, hoping to schmooze the older man into letting the matter go.

"Wha-! My treasure!" All eyes turned back to Buggy; only his head was up and around, while the rest of his body parts laid prone where they'd collapsed. "Oi, witch! Drop my treasure this instant!"

Nami looked rightly offended, holding onto the sack tighter. "No way! I'm not leaving my treasure behind!"

Buggy looked like he swallowed one of his own cannonballs at the reclassification. "What!? 'Your' treasure!?"

"That's right! My treasure!" Nami responded, clearly seeing herself in the right. "I stole it, so it's mine!"

"You can't call it yours until you've gotten away with it!"

Nami's response was to stick her tongue out at the old clown. "Like I'd stoop so low as to take lessons from a pirate!"

Hook crossed his arms, confused at the intercourse. "Wait, but it's all stolen, isn't it? So, do either of you own it?"

"Stay out of this!" Both of them barked at the teen, who flinched back from the command.

Going back to their debate, Nami added, "As a pirate thief, I steal from pirates as an occupation! Ergo, this treasure became mine when I took it!"

"Ergo?" Silk muttered to Hook, but low enough to hopefully not draw the bickering pair's ire again. "I thought his name was Buggy…"

"And as a pirate!" Buggy snapped back. "I don't care who are! If you put your hands on my treasure, I squash you!"

As the debate went on, Buggy's body parts twitched almost imperceptibly; Hook was too caught up in the argument between the thief and the clown to notice, and Silk had closed her eyes, praying her throbbing wound away. The only one who did notice was Mayor Boodle, tensing as he wondered what else this mad monster was about to throw out. "Um, young man-!"

"Remember this!" Buggy's face darkened, his bright red nose shining in the noon sun. "If you're caught stealing from a pirate, be prepared to suffer the consequences! Chop-Chop…" With seconds to prepare for whatever attack was coming, Hook jumped in front of Nami, while Boodle threw himself over Silk's downed body in case Buggy went for another cheap shot. However, his next attack was not aimed at just one target. Instead, he aimed everywhere at once, his body splitting up into many pieces and parts and flying around in unpredictable patterns. "-Festival!"

All over the ravaged area, Buggy's parts swarmed, smacking into whatever the old clown pleased. Several of them slammed into the Mayor's back, as he blocked Silk from taking any more damage, while the rest pestered Nami and Hook. Begrudgingly, Nami had dropped her loot and whipped out a collapsible bo-staff, batting away the offending onslaught. All the while, Buggy laughed at the chaos. "Gyahahahahaha! This is what you all get! I will take back my treasure…"

From his heightened position, Buggy saw the whole spectacle; most notably, he saw Hook had not moved from his spot, not even raising his arms to block the strikes raining down on him. Instead of focusing on the attacks, the Comboman was looking around, like he was searching for Buggy. Well hidden and secure in the knowledge Hook wouldn't look up, nor could he get to him, the red-nosed pirate grinned at the opportunity. "And for all the trouble you've caused me, I'll take your lives too!" Quick to capitalize on the opportunity, Buggy's hand held a knife firmly as it zoomed through the 'festival.' "Gyahaha – huh?"

Buggy's victorious cackle gave out when right before the blade stabbed Hook in the eye, he caught it, not even flinching at how close he was to being blinded. "Consume!" In a flash of blue, Buggy's weapon was gone, and Hook turned to look right up at him. "You've got that backward, ass clown! You're causing me too much trouble!"

Buggy's head broke out a small sweat at the glare, a familiar feeling of being looked down upon creeping up his neck before he shook it off and sneered back. "Flashy words from a little shit like you! But as long as I'm up here, and your down there, I can do whatever I want!"

"Nami, sit tight," Hook muttered.

"Sit tight for wh – hey!" Nami turned to see Hook run toward the pile of scrap that was Drinker's Pub. Her human shield gone, Nami was forced to swap away assaults on both sides of her. "What are you doing!?"

"Winning!" Hook called back as he reached the wreckage and began searching it, raising an arm to deflect another go of Buggy for his face. "Now, it was just… over… Ah-ha!" Lifting up some rubble, he found Buggy's cannon, burnt and tarnished from the blast from earlier, but still very much functioning, with his ammunition (both the Buggy Balls and regular ones) not too far from it. "Consume!" Quick as he could while kicking away Buggy's attacks, Hook absorbed the cannon and ammo before turning around. Now, one of his arms was the size and length of the weapon, making the teen lean to the opposite side, compensating his new heavy artillery.

"T-the cannon!" Buggy squawked in shock. "Y-you hypocrite! You're gonna shoot me!?"

"What the hell!?" Nami mirrored the clown's surprise. "Those cannonballs are dangerous, you idiot! Even if you didn't miss, you could hit us!"

"I'm not using his freaky red balls!" Hook snapped, before smiling confidently. "Also… I won't shoot at him." Everyone had a moment to wonder what he meant before he aimed the cannon at the ground and fired. The cobblestone shattered under the blast, but more importantly, it sent Hook flying through the air… directly at Buggy, too surprised to react quickly enough. "You know," Hook sighed, seemingly annoyed as he flew within punching distance of his adversary. "This wasn't as fun as I hoped. You're… a shit opponent, red nose."

Buggy felt conflicting emotions – anger he was being looked down upon again, shock at how determined this kid was, terror because his parts could not react fast enough to help him now – but they were short-lived. In the next moment of the pirate's existence, all he felt was pain as Hook's unchanged right hand came crashing into his face in an open slap. "Iron Spike!" True to the attack's name, Buggy's head went screaming into the stone below, a crater marking its impact with the ground. Barely conscious, Buggy watched as his separated parts came crashing around him, flopping on the ground like beached fish.

From his blurry eyes, he watched as Hook landed over him, cannon arm perched over his shoulder as he regarded the clown with uncaring eyes. "Damn… I always… hated how… you looked down on me… Too scared of you… to say it."

"Huh?" Hook blinked, confusion clearly written across his face. "I thought you said you didn't know me?" Hook never received an answer, as Buggy had passed out right after his last musings.

On the sidelines, Nami and Boodle gaped at the fight's conclusion. "I… I can't believe it." Boodle's eyes misted as relief flooded through him. "He… won. Buggy's down! HE WON!" The older man laughed and danced, even grabbing Nami as he jumped around.

On the ground, Silk blinked awake, having dozed off. "H-huh? Wazzat?" She looked around groggily before smiling. "Oh, hey. Hook's done. Awesome."

"Silk, are you alright?" Hook came over, kicking aside fallen pieces of Buggy. "You fell asleep and missed the end."

"Yeah, that nap helped a little," Silk got up gingerly, holding her side. "Just don't ask me to run any time soon."

Finally loosening the mayor's grip, Nami readjusted herself before frowning at the pair. "You shouldn't even be standing. You were stabbed, you know!"

"Yeah," Silk grinned. "But I got stabbed protecting someone! That's gotta make it worth it, right?"

Hook gave her a thumbs up. "You bet! Any fight you can walk away from is a good day!"

"She was stabbed!" Nami reiterated. "She's limping away!"

"Ah! That's right!" Boodle stopped dancing and ran up to the group, shaking Hook's hand vigorously, then switching to Silk's. "You two! Both of you have saved this village! Orange Town can still see tomorrow! For that, I'm so very grateful! Words cannot express what this means to me and my citizens!"

"Well, if you can't express it with words," Hook smiled indulgently. "I'll just take an awesome, week-long party as thanks. With BBQ pork, fruit pies, ten kegs of your best beer-"

Silk, who had retrieved Dorado from its resting spot on the ground, used the pommel to beat Hook in the back of his head. "Ignore him," she smiled beautifully, as the teen nursed his ringing head. "Your thanks is appreciated. Helping was its own reward."

"But…" Hook moaned, holding his head where he'd been hit. "My party…"

"How did that hurt you?" Nami blinked, skeptical he was even felt it that much.

Heedless of Nami's wonder, Silk scowled at Hook. "These people have been raided by pirates for days. They don't have the ability to cater a big banquet."

"B-but of course we do!" Boodle cheered. "When the people hear about this, they'll be a party of the ages all night!"

Hook and Silk traded looks, smug and exasperated respectively. Before either could make an argument, a large group of people approached, armed with makeshift weapons. "Mayor!" one of the crowd called out. "We heard all that yelling! Is everything… holy hell!" The crowd stopped their march, taking in the utter destruction around. "What happened? Did the pirates mutiny?"

"Far from it!" Boodle smiled, even as tears of joy poured down his face. "This young man and woman have ended their tyranny! Buggy and his crew have been defeated! And we are free!" The crowd's faces went from shocked to disbelief, and they even began talking among themselves about this new development. "These two are the heroes of Orange Town!"

Hook scratched his chin, contemplating the mayor's title for them. "Well, 'hero' has a nice ring to it, but I'd prefer 'Unbeatable Champion In Heaven, Hell, and Earth-'" Silk's response was to smack him with Dorado again, shutting him up.

As for the townsfolk, the reality of their new freedom was beginning to take root. Some people were already organizing who would go around and tie up the pirates (and Buggy's parts, a task that nobody was fighting to have), and others were planning what they could contribute to their victory party. Now in much better spirits than before, Boodle was directing who was going where. Whenever someone asked for the full story, Boodle just laughed before promising anybody curious as to what happened would be told by him later… after his third or fifth mug of ale, because what an afternoon this had turned out to be!

"Mayor!" Hearing the excited voice, Boodle stopped his delegation and turned around. Pushing through the crowd, a young kid came sprinting up to him, binoculars hanging around his neck. "I saw them! I saw them!"

"Hm? Saw what?" Boodle chuckled at the child's enthusiasm. "Speak up, Harold."

"The Navy's here!" Harold smiled. "I saw a-a blue ship! With a seagull on its flag! They're coming to fight the pirates!" Then the boy looked around and gawked. "E-eh!? The pirates are down already!? Did the Navy already get here!?"

"Hm?" Hook looked over to the conversation. "Did that kid say…?"

Silk looked over to Hook. "Oh no…"

"Huh? What's up?"

"If the Navy's here," Silk explained quietly. "Do ya think it's because we smacked that bastard the other day?"

Hook shrugged, wondering why she was being so quiet. "Why's that matter? If he comes back to fight us, we'll just beat him again. Although, I thought we broke his ship and all…"

"That's not it, Hook!" Silk hissed, leaning in to talk softer to Hook. "The Navy's a worldwide organization! They have bases on almost every island, and ships on every inch of ocean!"

"And?"

"And," Silk gave him a meaningful look. "I'm wounded, we just got out of a fight with a pirate crew, and if it's not that freak… it's probably a ship full of fully rested sailors coming to arrest us!"

"No way!" Hook snorted. "I can't be the most famous man in the world if I get arrested! I'll just kick their asses."

"Do you want to take the chance we can win? Right now, of all times?" Silk's question brought Hook up short. Truthfully, he was itching to fight these new guys – he wasn't that tired and Buggy was hardly a challenge! However, as he glanced at Silk's bandages, an inkling of worry seeped through his iron defenses.

Finally nodding as he came to a decision, he turned to Nami. "Hey, Figures!"

Having picked up her bag of gold and tried to creep away from the crowd, Nami froze at the address. "H-hey~ what's up? Also, stop calling me Figures. It's Nami!"

"How fast can you run with all that gold?"

Nami gave Hook a raised eyebrow. "Well, it's a million in gold, gems, and cash. So, not at all."

"And Silk can't run at all right now…" Hook looked away in thought.

"Wait," Nami questioned. "Why are you talking about running?"

"Because~" Hook grinned disarmingly. "We're about to…" With no warning but that damn smile, Nami was scooped up and thrown over Hook's shoulder, at the same time as Silk was thrown up on his other one. "KICK ROCKS!"

Nami blinked at her new position, before realizing a) this was an undignified way to carry a girl wearing a skirt, and b) Hook's move had made her drop her treasure! "Wha- Noo! My million!"

"Huh!?" the crowd gaped at the trio's sudden egress. "Wait, where are they going!?"

"Young man! Miss!" Boodle called after them. "Where are you going!? What about that party!?"

"Sorry, gotta dash!" Hook smiled as he looked back. "I'll take a rain check on that party! When I come back, make sure you make a banner! 'Welcome, Unbeatable Champion In Heaven, Hell, and Earth!'"

"Screw your banner!" Nami bit back. "Go back! You're leaving my treasure behind!"

"No can do!" Hook adjusted, making sure he wasn't pressing into Silk's side. "I can't carry both of you and it. Plus, we gotta get outta here! I can't be famous in jail!"

"But, my money…" Nami cried as they left the crowd, and Nami's money, was far behind them.

Mohji groaned, holding his head where it felt like someone had taken an iron club to it. "Those wretched, no-good brats! How dare they treat the great Lion Tamer this way!?" Richie chuffed in agreement – and that was all the noise he could make with his face puffed up and swollen from where he got gold-cocked. "And my poor Richie~ Wounding you in such a fashion?" Mohji's expression of sympathy gave way to unbridled fury, gripping and twisting his whip. "Wait 'til I get those bastards! They'll think twice before crossing the Buggy Pirates again!"

Having woken up from their concussed states, Mohji and Richie began marching (well, more like stumbling) for the pub that was Buggy's base of operations. He wasn't clear how much time had passed, but it did look like the sun was setting. "Now that I think about it, though," Mohji mused, the creasing of his forehead making him wince at the grapefruit-sized bruise on it. "Cap'n should have handled them by now, right? He's gonna be furious I failed, but at least those fools should have met their makers…" Mohji's voice gave out in puzzlement as he turned the corner of the street Drinker's Pub was on… only to see a pile of rubble, and sailors swarming the area and talking with the townsfolk. "H-huh? Huh!? What is going on!?"

"Standard procedure after pirate capture," a voice said from behind Richie. The lion jumped and turned on the spot to see a red-eyed teenager standing behind him. She was sporting the standard Navy uniform, save for a blue skirt and athletic shorts to replace the traditional pants, and no hat to cover the brown hairband that matched her brunette locks. Despite the house-sized lion outweighing her by a good 500 pounds, her gaze and posture stayed unmoved and unbothered as she addressed Mohji's confusion. "Recording statements and providing some relief if possible. Also, sometimes when bringing in an entire crew, stragglers tend to slip away to cause further trouble." The young woman looked the vest-wearing man and his mount up and down before nodding. "Am I safe to assume you are a pirate as well?"

Now, after facing down a girl no older than the one talking to him now, and said previous girl handing him an ass-whooping not even a day ago, most would agree that Mohji should have been cautious. "That's right, little girl! I'm as tough as they come! And, with the Navy here, I'm gonna need a hostage! Richie, get her!"

...Most men were not Mohji.

Richie raised his paw, aiming to bring it down on the girl and take her down in a single strike. With a muffled roar, he swung-

And blanched as not only did the red-eyed sailor catch the attack with her forearm, but she looked absolutely unfazed, fixing the cowardly lion with a steely glare. "If this is really what East Blue has to offer, I think Sis is unnecessarily worried." Switching the block into a two-handed grapple, the brunette threw the house-sized jungle cat over her shoulder, slamming him headfirst into the road. Richie was out in seconds.

As for Mohji, who was still riding Mohji, he was sent soaring off, crashing into the dirt and rolling. He had barely collected himself before he found at least ten rifles all aimed at him as he lay on the ground. The frightening girl loomed over him, her eyes boring through him with the look of a cat fed up with the mouse and looking to kill. "Now then, pirate. Captain Nijima has some questions for you. Have you seen a pirate with a chain and another with an ax?"

Swallowing his fear, though he could not stop trembling, he bared his teeth up at her. "A-and what i-if I r-refuse?"

The girl cracked her knuckles, as she silently looked away for the moment. Her face looked innocent despite the menacing aura coming off her. Even a few sailors looked warily in her direction. Finally, she looked back at him, sending a whole new set of shivers up his spine. "Then I stop asking nicely."

A/N: Digital cookie for the person who can guess who this person is, as well as 'Captin Nijima.' And yes, for those of you who have been following me for a while, I changed this over to be a crossover fic. Turns out, more than a few characters from other fandoms will be making guest appearances. Next chapter: weird hair colors, flashbacks, and money-grubbing demons ahoy! Until next time!