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Chapter 29

"The car's unregistered. We've got the plate, make and model on tonights news, on all of our socials," Rollins informs.

"No one's reported seeing the car at bus, train stations? Anywhere with cameras?" She questions.

"It's being run through traffic cams as we speak, Liv," Fin assures.

She nods. "Where are we on Shelia? Do we know any more about her?"

Carisi and Rollins share a look with Fin. "Liv, you know you can't be on this-"

"-He's my son-"

"-don't you think we know that?" He argues.

She sighs, rubbing her forehead. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about….just let us work this by Dodds rules."

Rafael reaches for her hand. "….I need coffee. Come with me."

"We'll call you if we catch anything," Rollins reassures.

Grabbing her jacket, she follows Rafael to the elevators. It's a quiet ride down, and she slips her fingers between his as they make their out of the precinct. The day has slipped away and the sky is dark and a wave of worry washes over her. "It's getting dark….he's probably scared, Rafa."

Rafael squeezes her hand as they walk down the street to the nearest coffee shop.

"I should have known that she would go after him at the school-"

"-you couldn't have known that, Liv-"

"-it was the only place she knew I wouldn't be. She called in that threat….she knew there would be chaos and confusion, I should have alerted the school when she was arrested. Rita warned us that she would make bail!"

He stops on the sidewalk, turning to face her. "Shelia is unhinged, Liv. She would have found a way to Noah."

She can't meet his gaze so she looks away.

"She didn't resort to violence, no-one was hurt. Noah, physically, looks ok and he's thinking like the son of a Lieutenant. Your detectives are working around the clock not to mention half of NYPD is on your side."

"How can you be so rational about this?" She questions a little angrily.

"Is that what I'm projecting?"

She meets his gaze then.

"I'm just as terrified, Liv."

She deflates. "I'm sorry."

Rafael shakes his head. "It's ok….come on."

Liv twines her fingers with his as they continue down the block towards the coffee shop. It isn't busy when they enter and she's already itching to get back to the precinct. She waits as patiently as she can as he orders his own, and several coffees for the squad and an assortment of baked goods. It only takes a few minutes, and she grabs the box of baked goods while he takes the tray of coffees.

As they head back to the precinct, he speaks softly. "I told him to have the best day….he hugged me so tight, Liv."

She catches the tears in his eyes and it's her turn to stop, forcing his gaze to hers. "His hugs are the best, aren't they?"

He nods, and his hands are full with coffee so she reaches up to wipe a stray that manages to fall.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Are you sure you don't want something?" Carisi offers her first pick of the baked goods.

Liv shakes her head. "I'm good…did you find anything new?"

"Not in the 10 minutes you've been gone, no," Rollins answers gently.

The hours are slipping by and she knows how critical they are. "Any hits on the licence plate?"

Fin shakes his head. "Not yet…look, Liv-"

"-I know, I know," she answers irritably. "I'll be in my office." She stalks across the squad room, letting her office door slam behind her.

"What about the labs?" Rafael questions.

"Techs are working as fast as they can. I'm calling every 30 minutes," Carisi answers.

"Ok," he sighs, rubbing his forehead. "….she's not angry with you."

Rollins hands him his coffee and two pastries. "We know. Take these. We need you caffeinated and fed, counsellor."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Noah follows her into the house. He didn't see any other houses but it was getting dark out and hard to see. His stomach grumbles and his eyes feel tired.

"Ok, here we are. What do you think?"

He doesn't answer her.

She removes her coat, moving into the house turning on some of the lights as she goes. "You know, it's rude not to answer someone when they ask you a question."

"You're a stranger and my Momma said not to talk to strangers."

She turns to face him and that scary look is back in her eyes.

Noah backs up towards the door.

"I'm not a stranger. I'm your grandmother, honey. I'm grandma Shelia."

Her voice is too sweet, and Noah takes another step back towards the door. "Grandma Lucia is my only grandma-"

She crosses the living room towards him, grabbing him by the arms. "-She's not your family!" She says angrily.

Her hands are too tight and he squirms to get out of her grasp. "You're not my family! Let me go!" He yells.

Her hand comes sharply across his face and Noah drops to the floor. Tears sting his eyes and his face burns. He touches his cheek, feeling the blood the ring on her finger has caused.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that," she warns.

Noah looks up at her. "My Momma is gonna find me and when she does, you're gonna be in big trouble."

Anger fills her face and she grabs him by the hair, dragging him across the living room.

"STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" He screams.

She doesn't listen, and Noah kicks his feet and swings his arms as she pulls him down the hall.

"ENOUGH!" She screams, pushing him to the ground.

His head hits the floor hard, and she's got him by the arms again as she's shaking him, knocking him into the floor repeatedly. "Why can't you just be a good boy?" She questions angrily.

Noah squeezes his eyes shut, the sob spilling out of him. "I'll be good! I'll be good! Please stop!"

Shelia stops shaking him but her grip on him is still too tight. "You're going to be a good boy?"

He nods. "Yes grandma."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Her head is resting on his shoulder, her breathing evening out and Rafael brushes a kiss to her forehead. "Close your eyes, amor. I've got you."

She turns a little on the couch so that she's more comfortable, closing her eyes. "Rafa?"

"Hmm?"

"…will you sing something? To distract me?"

He smiles a little, brushing his lips against her forehead again. He hums a melody he can't place but knows from his memory. The same soft, gentle melody he had sung to Noah to chase his bad dream away.

If only he could chase away this nightmare for her too.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Ok, so they're a little big."

Noah looks down at the pyjamas that are too long in the arms and feet. They're kind of itchy and he doesn't want to wear them. He doesn't want to loose his own clothes, the ones his Momma bought him, the ones with her writing and her smell and her warmth on them.

"But they'll do for tonight. Into bed," Shelia instructs.

He climbs into the bed and she straightens the covers around him. He tries not to stare too long at the window. If he could just get her out of the room long enough, he could probably climb out of it and run.

"I know what you're thinking," Shelia comments. "The window is sealed shut. No way out, mister."

He sinks into the bed reluctantly.

"Get some sleep; we've got a big trip in the morning!"

When she leans down to kiss him on the forehead, he presses his eyes closed tight. He doesn't open them again until she turns off the light and the door closes behind her. He's surrounded in darkness and the little bit of light coming in from the window makes scary shapes on the walls.

He can't stop the tears that well in his eyes and spill down his cheeks.

He wants his Momma, his Uncle Rafa.

The tears fall faster and he tries not to make any noise.

His chest feels funny again.

Climbing out of the bed, he tiptoes across the room to grab his t-shirt from where she had folded his clothes on the chair. Noah hurries back to bed, holding the t-shirt tightly, breathing in the familiar smells.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to picture his Momma.

Be brave, sweet boy.

He tries to picture his Uncle Rafa.

You're so strong, mijo.

He clings to their voices in his head, letting them soothe him to sleep.

Tbc

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