For the next month or so, Hebe felt like she was getting better. She had resumed her morning runs, and while before the games they were something she did to train herself, now they were simply for her own enjoyment. Similarly, she went back to work, selling groceries down at the market on weekdays.
Annie still came round often and they would sit and talk. Hebe would often drop by and visit the other victors, although would always make sure to skip over Cordelia's house. As would be expected, she saw a lot of Finnick too, and today would be the day he would make good on his promise to take her sailing.
She was walking up the gravel path towards Victor's village, returning from her morning shift at the market, vegetables in tow. That was when she spotted an airship. Landed directly outside the village. It's smooth metallic surface glimmering in the morning sun. It's appearance was like that of a stingray, splayed out against the sand.
And although she knew the reaction was irrational, as soon as she saw it, she began to run. Clutching her bag in her right fist, her legs slammed against the concrete and her arms pumped by her sides.
Hebe was back in the tunnels, the croons and cries of rabid dogs followed her as she moved. The fresh salty air of 4 felt muggy and close, the smell that filled her nostrils was that of dirt, festering and fermented.
She wasn't brought back to reality until she had burst through the doors of her home, red-faced and panting erratically.
The two people in the hallway stopped their conversation and stared at her when they heard the door loudly slam.
"Are you quite alright Miss Cross? You seem rather out of breath?" A low voice slithered its way into Hebe's ears, cold and slimy. She blinked, realising who was speaking to her. President Snow.
Hebe regained her composure slightly, replacing her expression of confusion with the carefully constructed Capitol mask.
"My apologies for the sudden intrusion sir, I was on a run and picked up some groceries for my mother. It appears I may have overdone it slightly."
She smiled, her expression confident, while she panicked internally. She strode over towards her mother and handed her the bag of vegetables. Then she turned back towards the president.
"I presume, you're here for business?" She said.
"That would be correct. Shall talk in the study?"
"Yes, although I'm going to have to quickly grab a glass of water." Hebe grimaced in a way that made her look as apologetic as possible.
Snow nodded, assuring her that was alright, nodded to Juno, and walked towards the empty study at the end of the hall.
As soon as he shut the door, Hebe darted towards the kitchen, rushing to the sink and turning on the tap, not bothering to get a glass and instead just tilting her head to the side and letting the cool water drip into her mouth.
Juno was quick to follow.
"Hebe, what's going on?" She whispered, standing close enough so that her daughter could hear her.
"I don't know mum. We'll talk later. But for now, I have to go." Hebe replied shortly, wiping the excess water from her chin and forcing down the bile rising in her throat.
And then she brushed past her, striding out of the kitchen and into the now empty hall. Almost as if a show of confidence was enough to quell the fear stirring within.
So she opened the door to the study, and was met with the sight of President Snow. His usual sickly white rose pinned to the lapel of his green velvet jacket, a matching cravat fastened around his saggy neck, wisps of white hair sprouting from his chin and scalp.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting, sir," Hebe said, addressing the man sitting behind the small desk in the centre of the room.
"It's no trouble. Please, sit."
She did as instructed, lowering herself into the upholstered leather chair across from Snow. Hebe folded her hands into her lap, clutching them together tightly.
"There's no need to be nervous Miss Cross, I have made this visit to lots of the victors. In fact, I'm here on this occasion to discuss a job opportunity."
At the mention of a 'job' Hebe stiffened slightly, her pulse rising. She had hoped Snow either wouldn't approach her, or at least wait a little while longer.
"A job? I was hoping my prize money would sustain me for a little while longer!" Hebe joked, but she knew her laugh was more brittle than usual.
"No, this won't be for money. Think of it more as a way to show your gratitude to the Capitol."
He smiled at her, showing sickly, yellowing teeth. Hebe felt her stomach churn, disgusted at the way he was treating this like some fantastic opportunity.
"Oh? What will the job entail?"
This was a genuine question. When he first told her about his 'job' Finnick had been intentionally vague, but with the amount he was opening up to her, she felt wrong to press him any further. So Hebe had no clue what she was going to have to sign up for, although she did have a few ideas of the kind of unsavoury things the Capitol subjected the victors to.
"Once a month you'll be obliged to travel to the Capitol for a few days and whilst you're there you'll meet and entertain a high-profile member of the Capitol. Think of them as your clients."
Hebe's stomach went from a steady churn, to suddenly doing backflips. Her head was spinning and her pulse was racing.
"Oh. Ok. I accept your offer." Her voice held a tone of slight uncertainty, as she struggled to get her head around the gravity of what she was having to agree to. Luckily for Hebe, Snow chose not to notice.
"Wonderful!" He stood up, clapped and reached across the desk to shake Hebe's hand. "When you come to the Capitol for your victory tour we'll discuss the finer points of your contract.
Hebe returned the handshake, and nodded dazedly. Snow then began to make his way to the exit, but he turned back around just before he reached the door, hand hovering over the doorknob.
"Oh, and you'll be working with our dear boy, Finnick. Just make sure the relationship between the two of you stays purely professional. The Capitol people aren't as oblivious as you may like to think." And with one final nod and sickly smile, the President left the room. Hebe felt her own false smile drop, and she slumped back in the chair, heart hammering in her chest.
Outside the door, she could still hear her mother speaking with Snow, and every second that went by she prayed that he would leave soon. Eventually that moment came, and she heard the door slam shut, followed shortly by the whirring of engines that propelled the ship back into the sky.
Once her mind was no longer preoccupied with thinking about when Snow would leave, she finally managed to comprehend exactly what had just happened.
Snow was 'offering' her a job.
She had to accept.
She didn't know what she would have to do.
And what was that last thing Snow had said. Was she getting too close to Finnick? Was Snow threatening her? What would he do to her if she didn't comply? Would he hurt her family? Her mother? Her sister?
Hebe felt her heart rate increasing, her breathing becoming quick and ragged, and her stomach began to churn even faster than before. She imagined her blood rushing through her body like a river, surging around the twists and turns of her veins, threatening to engulf her entire body.
She felt herself moving as if in a trance, pushing the chair over and running out the door. She could vaguely hear her mothers shouts of concern over the thundering of her footsteps up the stairs as she ran towards the bathroom, flinging open the door.
Immediately she was on the floor, hunched over the toilet bowl as the first wave of nausea overwhelmed her body. She could feel her mothers hands pulling her hair back as her body was racked with sobs. Her mother tied her hair back tightly, sweeping it to one side in order to rub soothing circles on Hebe's back.
Then there came another wave of vomit that burned its way through Hebe's throat.
She could hear her mother soothing her over the pounding in her head, and she coughed out a few more sobs. For a moment she thought it was over, and then she remembered why she was sitting on the bathroom floor and her cries started up again.
At some point in her delirium, she became acutely aware of the irony of this moment. Before the games it would be Juno that would be sobbing on the floor and Hebe the one holding back her hair. How things had changed.
They stayed like that for some time, until suddenly Juno separated from her child, rushing down the stairs. Hebe stirred at the sound of a familiar voice floating up the halls, struggling to open her tear stung eyes.
Soon the voice grew nearer, and she looked up to see Finnick standing in the doorway, his face contorted in an expression of worry and a strange twinge of guilt.
"Hey." Hebe managed, trying to force a grin for her friend.
"Jesus christ, Hebe. What happened?" He dropped to the floor beside her.
"What do you think?" She choked out a feeble, bitter laugh.
Finnick looked down at the floor, almost as though he couldn't bear to look at her when she was in this state.
"What's he gonna make me do, Finnick?"
She stared at the wall blankly.
Finnick opened his mouth to say something, and then he closed it again, almost as if he thought better of himself.
"It's ok. I've heard the rumours. I can guess." Hebe felt her voice break slightly as she kept her gaze trained firmly on the wall in front of her.
"I'm so sorry Hebe. God I'm so sorry."
Hebe turned to her left, and tried to smile at him, feeling herself falter as she noticed the silent tears streaming down his face.
She turned back to her wall, choosing to stay silent. What could you say in a situation like this? So she reached out and clasped Finnick's hand with her own. And then she tried to forget.
When she had nightmares as a child her father had always told her to think of a time when she felt happy. A birthday. Or a party. But now those things felt so far away that they didn't make her happy anymore. It just reminded her of how far away that happiness was now.
She remembered her mother saying a similar thing when she would have her own nightmares.
"He's in every happy memory I have. All it does is remind me how far away he is."
She felt her shoulders begin to shake again as she let out small strangled sounds.
"Sometimes I wish I died in there."
The voice came from beside her.
"I wish I died. I don't care how. Disease. Another tribute. It doesn't matter."
Hebe lent her head back, closing her eyes tight.
"The Capitol always says we're the lucky ones, but they're wrong. They're luckier than us."
"Do I really have to do it, Finnick? I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I can do that to myself."
"I wish we didn't have to do it. That's my other wish. They send us there, rob us of our sanity. Then when we finally escape, and they rob from us again. I wish you died in there too."