Chapter Seven
Ana POV
Later that day
"Let me get this straight. So your mother told you HAD to agree to meet with your brother... the cat torturer?
Ana blinked at the words, cat torturer.
In the early days of their friendship, when Mia had asked about her family, first telling her about her two spoiled brothers and her embarrassingly loving parents, Ana found it easier to provide only the faintest sketch of her life.
She had two overly protective parents who didn't approve of playdates or sleepovers. And if that wasn't bad enough, they restricted her social activities unless her older brother acted as a chaperone. As a result, her social life was quite limited.
Whoa, Mia said back then. I'll have my mom talk to your mom.
Ana's stomach tightened. If Mia's parents found out her parents weren't like everyone else's, they would pressure Mia to say goodbye to their friendship.
Huh, the thing is, I don't think that will work. My mom has issues with shyness... Ana lied.
So? Give me her number. My mom is really good with people. She's a psychiatrist, you know.
At first, Ana pretended she liked Mia's idea. But Mia persisted, insisting on a meeting between the two moms.
My mom hates shrinks. She thinks they're money-hungry charlatans.
Instead of acting offended, Mia had given her a long, hard look.
Realizing she'd made another social blunder, Ana tried making excuses for Carla.
My mom...hmm...she was a little drunk when she said that.
Does your mom drink a lot? Mia said with great concern.
Ana nearly laughed. Carla was not a drinker; Daddy was the one with the problem.
No, not really. Okay, listen...Do you promise not to tell anyone if I tell you?
"Tell me what? huh...sure."
My mom can't stand it when others point out she's wrong, and she gets very angry... that's why she shouldn't meet with your mom.
Ana was proud of herself. Somehow, she'd managed to tell the truth without revealing too much information.
Even today, Ana feared being judged as bizarre by association.
She blinked, refocusing on her conversation with Mia.
"Junior didn't torture our cats; he was just mean to them. None of them was seriously hurt." Ana replied.
Making excuses for her family was second nature. Old habits die hard. And even though she'd taken the first step in breaking the cycle of dysfunction, she wondered if the road to recovery was paved with two steps forward and one step back.
"Didn't you tell me he ENJOYED messing with your poor kitties?"
Mia's words made her blink twice. They underscored something she couldn't deny.
"Yes, he messed with them Mia... " she admitted. "He enjoyed taunting them. He pulled hard on their tales, and instead of stopping when they got mad at him, he continued to poke and provoke them. He wouldn't stop, even when they hissed at him and bit him."
"I remember you telling me he put on boxing gloves...to protect his skin from the bites and scratches?"
Ana was surprised. She didn't recall mentioning that detail in recent years. It must have been when they first met.
"You remember?"
"Who could forget a story like that? Nine-year-old boys don't deliberately provoke their pets into biting their hands until they bleed. Cats bite in self-defense only."
Ana shuddered, recalling the sound of her brother's devious laughter. The angrier the cats became, the louder he laughed. They would latch onto his arm and sink their teeth into his arm. Ana watched their transformation into roaring lions in awe.
Even then, she had the feeling there was something fundamentally wrong with Junior. He treated the bites and scratches like a badge of honor. Mom and Dad thought it was all in good fun. In fact, Dad's laughter often echoed in the background.
"He didn't always wear the gloves..."
"He never got any better... did he?"
Ana shrugged. What could she say? A small part of her believed that if Junior was a bad seed, it also was a reflection on her since they were related.
"I don't know if he still has those tendencies. But, just in case, I blacklisted him on the national hotline for animal shelters so that he would never be allowed to adopt a pet."
Ana hoped Mia didn't think she was taking Junior's animal cruelty lightly. Her beloved pets were like her babies. So she'd intervened, fought against him with all her might. Much to her chagrin, her parents refused to address their son's behavior.
"If mom were here right now listening to us, she would say that your brother needs psychiatric help. And if we took him to a priest, he would call in an exorcist."
Ana let out a small chuckle.
"Mia, Keisha says she's ready for you."
Both women turned toward Gail, who stood behind them carrying a small silver tray.
Mia let out a long sigh. "Time for my bath and physical therapy. I shouldn't be long. We'll watch a movie when I get back."
Ana nodded. Mia wheeled herself out of the room.
"Can I get something for else you, Miss Ana?" Gail asked, setting down the tray.
"I'm okay. Thank you for the water and crackers. By the way, I'd like to help you in the kitchen sometimes if that's okay with you."
"Sure," Gail replied kindly. "May I suggest you move into the family room? Mia will be gone a while."
"That's okay. I love it here," she said, eyes fixed on the waterfall diffuser.
"There is another one of those in the family room."
"Really?"
"Yes, you will be more comfortable in there."
Ana sprang from her chair and followed Gail into the other room.
"By the way, what scent did you put in the diffuser? It's so relaxing, comforting," Ana wondered.
"It's Frankincense. Aside from being relaxing, it aids digestion and boosts the immune system. Best of all, it has anti-aging properties."
"No wonder your complexion is as smooth as porcelain," Ana smiled.
"Well, thank you," Gail blushed a little.
Ana gravitated to the left side of the luxurious couch. A similar diffuser lamp sat atop the side table.
There are a few books underneath the table. I can bring other titles from the library if you want."
"I'm sure I'll be fine, Gail," Ana mumbled, not wanting her to go to all the trouble.
Shortly after Gail left the room, Ana checked out the reading selection. Some were coffee-style books. There was one book, however, that caught her eye because of its small size and title.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters.
Flipping to the cover page, Ana found herself stuck on the index page.
CHAPTER ONE
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
CHAPTER TWO
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
CHAPTER THREE
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit...but
My eyes are open.
I know
where I am.
It is MY fault.
I get out immediately.
CHAPTER FOUR
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
CHAPTER FIVE
I walk down another street.
Ana thought about the cleverness of the poem for a long time. It was perfect for an aspiring writer like herself.
The more she pondered her life story, the more she wished she was in chapter five. Realistically, however, she was probably stuck in chapter three.
...
Later that afternoon, Mia and Ana watched A Perfect Murder on the flat screen with theater-style audio.
Although Ana enjoyed thrillers, she had trouble focusing on the movie. She even dozed off a couple of times. Blame it on the ultra plush sectional that rivaled the bliss of sleeping on a cloud.
"You don't remember that part where she sees the incriminating pictures?
"Not really."
Were you sleeping or distracted?
"I don't know... maybe both? I keep replaying the visit with my parents."
Mia nodded, prompting her to continue.
"I feel like such an idiot," Ana sighed. "You know how I said I never wanted to see my parents again?"
Mia nodded, prompting her to continue.
"Well, when I was there, and Mom asked me to meet them at a restaurant for Dad's birthday, I didn't flat-out refuse. Why do I always end up acting so nice?"
"Ana, I think you're judging yourself too harshly. Those people are your family...and we're programmed to love our parents. It's in our freaking DNA."
"No, Mia. It's my fault. What they did to me has no excuse. I should know better than to even consider giving them another chance. You know? But the minute I walked in the door, my resolve softened. It was like I was seven all over again, " she lamented.
Stuck in chapter three.
"You know what you need to do?" Mia paused for dramatic effect.
"What?"
"It's simple and complicated at the same time. You need to forgive yourself."
Ana pursed her lips, barely acknowledging her friend's words. How could she keep making the same mistake of thinking deep down her parents did care?
"The worst part is when they insisted I had to include Junior. Here I was half-agreeing to go meet with them... and they..."
Ana trailed off, unable to complete her sentence, her heart filled with
emotions too difficult to name.
"It's as if the three of them were joined at the hip," Mia quipped." When she spoke again, her smile had faded. "Anyhoo, you need to forgive yourself, Ana."
"I know, I know."
"You know how long it took for me to stop blaming myself after the accident? I kept reliving the incident from every angle and thinking about the what-ifs. So, I will keep telling you to forgive yourself until you finally believe it...you understand?
Ana nodded slightly, "about your accident," she started.
"Don't you try to change the subject, Missy."
"But your accident was TRULY NOT your fault, so you shouldn't blame yourself. It could happen to anyone, verging off the road and hitting a tree, especially in the fog."
Mia pursed her lips. "Well, that's not exactly what happened...I was kinda distracted."
Ana cocked her head, intrigued.
"I was texting while driving," Mia's eyes filled with unshed tears. When she spoke again, her voice was small. "Nearly every day I beat myself up...if only I hadn't been so stupid."
"It could have happened to anybody," Ana quickly replied, reaching for Mia's hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze. "I don't know anyone who doesn't at least send a quick text while driving."
Mia's eyes widened. "Did you just say what I thought you said? Look at me, Ana! Texting and driving is no joke."
"Hey, I was just saying...trying to help you see you're not the only one. People do it, you know. You just got unlucky."
"Now you're starting to worry me. Don't you repeat what you just said to Christian!"
"Of course not, silly. It's not as if I'm endorsing texting and driving...but we have to be realistic here, at one time or another, we-"
"I get your point," Mia grumbled. "Anyway, let's just drop it for now. We're talking about you...and how you need to forgive yourself for trusting your family."
"Hmm...yeah, I know," Ana pursed her lips, wholly unconvinced.
"That was quite a curve ball your mother threw at you, expecting you to accept your brother with open arms."
"She knows how I feel about him, how we've never gotten along...and how he treated me last time I saw him..." Ana trailed off, thinking of the shaking episode where the threesome had shaken her and called her crazy. Junior had been the ringleader, and the other two followed suit.
Mia cocked her head. "Really? What happened last time you saw him?"
Ana bit her lip. She wasn't ready to tell Mia what happened.
"Well, you know, he and I had a huge argument. Anyway...all my life, I felt something was wrong with me...while all along, it was them. They were the ones who were fucked up."
The truth had come to her in stages as things got progressively worse, and she could no longer deny the awful reality staring at her in the face. Waking up at the hospital and losing her freedom became the final straw; her mind could no longer excuse her family's behavior. The wickedness of their actions shone like a light in a dark tunnel. The only way she could make it out of that tunnel was to refuse to look back. Alone and utterly afraid, she had no choice but to turn to God as a last resort.
Amazingly, her prayers did get answered in the form of an angel called Mia...and a lesser Angel ( even if he would never admit it) known as Christian.
Christian...Ana smiled, thinking of the significance of his name. Christian was a bonafide Christian.
"Mom says it's typical for abused children to blame themselves," Mia said, "Because it's a lot easier to accept than realizing that the people who are supposed to protect you aren't doing their job."
Ana nodded. "You'd make a great therapist, Mia. Oh, don't look at me like that; I mean it. You should go back to school and get your counseling degree."
"Because I don't want to follow in mom's footsteps. I want to find my own place in the world."
Mia really didn't know the treasure she had. She had a perfectly supportive family who adored her. Still, she wanted to travel a different path.
Life was so much easier when there were road signs ahead. How often had she traveled without the faintest idea where the twists and turns lay, getting hopelessly stuck at the crossroads?
"I still think you should reconsider. You like helping people, and you're a great listener."
"I wasn't always like this...the accident forced me to slow down."
The bitterness in Mia's voice was hard to miss.
"Anyway, I hope that one day you will trust me enough to tell the full story of what happened right before you were hospitalized."
Ana dropped her gaze. "I don't know what you mean...I've shared a lot with you."
"A lot? I want the entire story," Mia snorted. "I don't mean about the abuse in general, but specifically what happened while you moved back home."
"But I've told you," Ana took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I told you how I got sick with Covid... and my family didn't want me to leave the house, and my brother took my car keys."
"He took your car keys?" Mia cocked her head. "I don't remember you telling me that."
"So many things happened...but yeah, I was in bed sicker than a dog, and Junior thought I wasn't fit to drive. Mom and Dad supported him; he's always been their perfect child."
"Is that it? Look, Ana, obviously, something awful happened... something so awful, it sent you over the edge...What happened for you to end up downtown with no purse and no ID?"
"Yes, something did happen," Ana admitted, avoiding meeting Mia's gaze. "But I can't talk about that right now. If I do, I'll probably sink into a depression and won't be able to stop crying."
Mia took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Fine. We'll continue this some other time," she went on, stretching on the couch. "Let's go to the salon and get your hair cut."
"Right now?"
"You'll feel so much better after your facial and haircut. Gail will drive us."
"You want Gail to drive? How about me? I solemnly promise I will NOT text and drive for as long as I live."
"It's not just that. I think it's a good idea for Gail to drive us. You just got out of the hospital, Ana" she shrugged. "Besides, you've had issues with your vision...and also, the drugs you're taking cause drowsiness."
Ana sighed. Mia was right. Upon her discharge, Dr. Trevelyn Grey recommended she not take the medications long-term as they could cause impairment when operating motor vehicles. They were designed to keep her calm in a hospital setting. Once she was home, the dosage should be decreased over 30 days.
On their way to the salon, Ana wondered what Mia would think if she knew about her family secret. How it was tied to the events leading to her hospitalization. And as much as she would like to unburden her soul, she had to remain mum until she had definite proof, something tangible to go on.
It was a matter of self-protection. Things hadn't worked out well for her the last time she had broken the rules and dared to expose the elephant in the room.
She wasn't making that mistake again.
However, that didn't mean she had given up her desire to see justice be served. One day, she intended to come forward and expose her brother's crime to the authorities.
Over the years, there had been days when she wished for a fresh lead, an additional witness who hadn't found the courage to speak until now. Never mind that it had happened at night on a highway without many houses. Never mind that the chances were nearly non-existent. Still, she had never stopped waiting.
The thing was, no one would ever believe a shitty witness like her. An unreliable witness who had spent the three days after the accident knocked out by what must have been a hefty dose of valium.
Besides, it was her word against three. Her word against the same three people who took away her freedom and then conspired to keep her in a mental institution.
All she had was what she'd seen the night of the accident. But without a body, or a name, witness, or anything at all, it was all too easy to believe it had never happened.
A/N: Thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and follows.