Chapter 64: Dinner For Four
Who cares about something as meaningless as being sophisticated? Football head apparently.
Everyone in school was sitting in the auditorium, listening to Simmons hand out the prizes for a charity contest we recently did. Well, almost everyone was listening…
"Gosh Lila, ballet, opera, you're so…sophisticated!"
Sitting four or five rows back, I continued to listen to little miss perfect blab about all the 'impressive' lifestyle hobbies of hers, knowing none of my interests came close to matching those things.
Well, if I was ever going to get football head's attention, that meant putting on one heck of a show. The only question was how?
"And third prize goes to Helga Pataki! A free dinner for four at Chez Pierre!"
While I was surprised to hear my name, I didn't exactly see it as 'your answer to Arnold is solved!'
That is, until I was leaving the stage…
"This IS just what I need. The perfect way to show Arnold I can be sophisticated!"
All I had to do was my usual scheming to get Pheebs to invite Geraldo (who I knew she was close enough with) and Geraldo to invite football head, who we both knew he was more than close enough with…
"Alright I'll go. I just can't see Helga in a fancy French restaurant. She's just never seemed that sophisticated to me. Now Lila is REALLY sophisticated!"
Pttss… never seemed that way. How the heck would he know, when he never bothers to notice me? Well, I decided to fix that!
My class may seem a bit mature for their age, but keep in mind I'm still in the fourth grade. Meaning, I had a few dolls, tea sets, and cassettes laying around my room. Hey, they were from when I was five?
I figured all I needed to do to win Arnold over was learn a few phrases and dress up. I never heard miss perfect at school speaking French.
At the restaurant, the only one who seemed ecstatic was Geraldo. No, not about the romantic atmosphere. About some freaky cheese those foreigners apparently love. No, not because of the taste; because of the smell? Oh yeah, he's sophisticated.
Crazy thing was, I had been there with football head before. Yet, he was shocked to see the menu was in French? He really must not have been paying attention to me that night. Dingus!
Well, they must have taken they're awful cow brain meal off their menu (that I meant to sue them for) because I ordered the entire thing for us.
Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. That is, until one little incident occurred…
"And of course, dinner is on me tonight."
"Chez Pierre… Chez Paris?"
I don't know what's crazier, putting two French restaurants with similar names across the street from one another, or me ordering extra food to stall them.
Hmm… yep, I'm blaming them.
My 'sophisticated' attitude that Arnold admitted during dinner impressed him, easily disappeared when I came back.
"Helga, I'm really full. I don't think I could eat another bite."
"You'll eat it and like it Arnold!"
Hey, I was nervous?
That changed a little when I saw they were graded well for how clean they kept the restaurant. All I had to do was call my roach collecting classmate.
"Nadine, it's Helga! I need you to bring one of your cockroaches to Chez Paris and let it loose in the restaurant… I don't care what classification!"
Did that stop her from taking an hour to decide? Of course not!
She arrived the moment the waiter informed me he decided to call the cops after hearing my bogus story about being the granddaughter of the richest man in the city.
The cops took my side once they saw the customers' reactions to those nasty insects!
"Miss if I were you, I'd refuse to pay the bill."
Of course even after leaving, Nadine opens her big mouth in front of Arnold and let's him know it was MY idea to do that.
So what happens?
"I am not going to go in there and tell them the truth and wind up washing dishes!"
Ten Minutes Later
"I can't believe I told them the truth and wound up washing dishes!"
Arnoldo insisted that was all I had to do to seem sophisticated. Why not just invited him over the next time there's house work to be done?