A/N To the Tricky raven group, thank you for helping me through this nightmare scene. it was hard to choose but my daughter and I worked each sentence to find what best fit.

Chapter 32

Charlie burst into the house and up the short flight of stairs to the living room. He took a step back when seeing the rows of privacy screens. Peeking behind each one he found a sleeping Embry, a crying Leah, and empty bed after empty bed. There had to be one for every wolf; including Sam.

His initial panic at his daughter's outburst of sobs had him rushing in, but now standing at this last screen his fear was holding him back. What would he find on the other side? Would the lifeless body of the boy he loved like his own son be laying there? The sight forever scarred in his mind, haunting his nightmares.

He took a deep breath. He had to see for himself. Gripping the side of the screen he looked down at the floor and took the final steps around it. Looking up he almost collapsed in relief. The boy wasn't only alive, he was sitting up with his head hanging low and legs thrown over the side of the bed.

At his relieved breath Jake looked up. The boy's eyes were red rimmed and glassy. Jake cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his hand across his cheeks. "Oh, Hey Charlie." He choked out.

What the hell was going on? Why was everyone in this house crying? Except Embry. Was he not sleeping? Charly rushed back to the other boy's bed. He grabbed the foot board to hold himself up. The rise and fall of the boy's stomach assured Charlie that he was still breathing.

The only wolf boy not accounted for was Paul. Charlie could swear he saw him walking on his own earlier. Stepping outside he looked around but still couldn't find him.

Instead of jumping to another conclusion; God knows his heart couldn't take it, he asked. "What's wrong with her?"

Edward looked up with pain in his eyes. "She is grieving."

Before Edward finished speaking the front door slammed. Paul stood there, his lips pulled back from his teeth in some strange combination of a smirk and a sneer. Charlie could now see the boy had an ace bandage; possibly more than one, wrapped around his ribs, a brace on his arm and silver metal in his mouth.

Charlie shook his head. "Grieving who?" According to them, the rest of the Cullen's were safely making their way to Alaska. Unless something went wrong. Turning to Paul he yelled. "And where the hell have you been?"

Gesturing to Bella Paul said through his bound teeth. "She's not grieving. She's just upset about her big fuck you to Jake."

Edward hissed. "She did no such thing."

"What would you call it, Leach?" Paul snarled. "She just told him he isn't good enough, and that she was choosing you over everyone else."

Bella looked up and cried. "Paul, it's not a choice."

"Don't fool yourself sweetheart. Of course it is." He snorted derisively. "But, I understand. You wouldn't be the first person to choose your addiction over the people you love."

Charlie sputtered, before he noticed the boy's nostrils flaring and his chest heaving. "What the hell does that mean?"

A few deep breaths seemed to calm Paul down, but a look of disgust remained on his face. "She knows what it means." Bella seemed to shrink back while somehow still looking indignant. He turned to Charlie, pasting a big grin on his face. "As for your other question. I just finished taking a massive shit in one of the bathrooms." Looking back to the house he said. "I gotta say, it smells a lot better in there now."

Paul pushed between Charlie and the couple on the floor making his way to the campfire set up in the middle of the yard. Emmett, Alice, Quill, and Jared sat passing around a bag. They each pulled something small out of it, sniffed the unknown object, and then threw it in the fire causing a pop and a purple flame to sprout. Paul held out a hand and said, "Let me get some of that action."

Quil started to hand him the bag when Emmett yelled, "Don't give it to him! He will find mine and purposely throw it in."

Paul shrugged, "He's probably right. But I wouldn't know. I'm not going to be sniffing random leach fingers." The two wolves looked at each other then at the bag and cringed. Quil cleared his throat and without a word handed the bag back to Emmitt.

Charlie looked around the circle. "Did you just say there are fingers in that bag?... You know what, neverminded. Forget I asked." He walked over to Billy, Sue, and Seth. "Jake is fine."

Billy nodded his head gesturing to Seth, "I was told."

Looking confused Charlie pointed at the young boy. "How…" Waving his hand he said, "Neverminded, tomorrow I have to start asking questions about these Italian… uh, Vampires." he shook his head still having trouble with his new reality. "Do you two need anything from me?" he asked Billy and Sue.

"No," they both said.

Billy held out a hand and pulled Charlie down, throwing his arm around him. "No matter what our future holds, you will always be my friend, my brother. You have no idea how long I wanted to tell you the truth, how many times I almost said fuck the consequences and told you everything. I am sorry that you found out like this, but I'm not sorry you know. Thank you for forgiving me long enough to bring me to my son."

"I don't care how mad I am at you Billy, there was nothing else I would have done." Standing up he said. "I am beginning to understand what you went through not saying anything to me. I want to tell Renee everything so badly. But I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do."

"Now imagine seeing her every day with this secret on the tip of your tongue."

Blowing out a breath Charlie's cheeks puffed out. "I don't envy you that."

Sue had wandered away from them with Seth. Seeing the conversation was over she came back to say her goodbyes. Hugging Charlie she said, "I know this is a lot. You can call me anytime if you want to talk."

"Thanks Sue. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot. So the same goes for you, you need to talk or just don't want to be alone, call me, any time."

Charlie walked back over to Bella to help her stand, but Edward was already lifting her up. He carried her to the cruiser, placing her in the seat he reached over and buckled her in.

For the first few minutes Bella sobbed so hard Charlie was afraid she would pass out from not being able to breathe.

"Did you really tell Jacob that he wasn't good enough for you?" Charlie blurted.

"No!" This started another outburst.

When she was back to hiccupping he asked. "What did you say?"

"I told him we couldn't be together?" Another outburst.

"Bells, the boy just almost died. Do you really think this was the best time to tell him that?"

"No!" She cried "I… didn't… have… a… choice."

"Sweetheart, I know it is upsetting, hurting the feelings of someone you care about, but your reaction is a bit excessive for telling a boy you don't want to be with, that it's not going to happen.

"I do want to be with Jake?"

"Then why did you tell him that you couldn't be with him?"

"Because I can't live without Edward."

"Geez Bella, don't say things like that." Charlie glanced over at her. "Of course you can live without him, you did it for seventeen years."

"I can't, not since…"

"Since what?!"

"Since I found him. He left me once. I can't; I can't do that again."

"Oh, god, I knew your relationship was unhealthy, but I didn't know it was this bad."

"It's… not… unhealthy… to love … someone!"

"Baby, that isn't love.!"

She couldn't disagree with that. She could argue that she did love Edward, truly, madly, deeply, loved him, but what she felt was so much more. It had no definition, how do you explain the unexplainable. The all encompassing, glorious, breathtaking, heart stopping, overwhelming, need she had for the vampire would never have a word worthy enough to express her passion for him.

They finally pulled up to the curb. She fought for control of her emotions as she stumbled her way up the path to the front door. With tears still streaming down her face she gained control over her sobs just long enough to say, "I'll be in my room."

"Kay," Charlie responded. Bella was certain that would be the last time she saw him that night. There was nothing that scared Charlie more than tears.

She blindly stumbled her way up the stairs and to her room. Falling to her bed she allowed the sobs to escape, her body shaking in her misery. The sudden cold embrace although no longer unwelcome still made her jump. She turned into the cradle of Edwards arms only to ruin his shirt with her tears.

Before long Edward warned, "Charlie is on his way up." but he didn't move. Maybe he meant Charlie was going to his room. Bella was sure that her fathers fear of emotional outbursts would keep him from checking on her.

She was wrong.

Charlie walked in her room with two mugs, almost dropping them when he saw Edward in her bed. "Out!" he ground through his teeth.

"She needs me tonight."

"She has me. Get out!"

"I…" Edward started to protest.

"Or I will arrest you and have the deputy watch the cell I throw your ass in all night."

Edward smirked. "That would be a sight. You, attempting to move me and all that is."

"Edward," Bella sniffled. "You should go."

Frowning down at her he reluctantly gave in. "Fine," kissing the side of her head he whispered, "I will be nearby."

"I really have to figure out how to deal with him." Her father complained.

"He… was just… taking care… of me." She sobbed.

"By disrespecting me and my wishes in my own house." Charlie huffed. "And he isn't the only person in this world that could take care of you."

Bella wanted to argue, but she was secretly grateful. Now she didn't have a choice. Edward wouldn't have to witness her; any more than he already has, suffering through her heart break over someone else. Over Jacob. How wretched she was that she still wanted Edward there holding her through this torture.

Charlie sat on the side of her bed placing the mug in her hand. She looked into her cup. "Hot chocolate?"

"It always made you feel better when you were younger."

She tried and failed to smile. Taking a large sip she was surprised at the unnatural burn sliding down her throat. "Dad, did you put alcohol in this!"

"Oops. That one was supposed to be mine." he said, sounding so disingenuous it made Bella scowl through her hiccupping breaths. "It's just a bit of bourbon, might even help you sleep."

Sleeping through her misery sounded great, but would that only prolong her suffering?

"Listen Bella, I know that you don't want to talk about this right now, and you don't have to. I just want to put my opinion out there. Maybe you shouldn't be jumping into making this choice. I think you feel it was harder, or would be harder letting Edward go because when he left before, he took his entire family with him. Taking away everything you clung to.

Before they left you spent all your time with them. And I am only guessing here, but, in your head they would always be there, then they were gone. They all left you. For you all the things you thought would be in your future had disappeared and as far as I know, all contact was cut off from you. That level of abandonment would seriously mess with someone's psyche.

But what do I know? He could be letting off some weird ass vampire voodoo drug that you are seriously addicted to. I can't figure out what else Paul's comment could've meant."

"Dad, You will never understand my feelings for Edward." Bella sniffled.

"You're right, but do you understand them? What about your feelings for Jake? If losing him hurts you this badly, do you not think that they are worth exploring?"

"I did explore them, that's why this hurts so badly."

"Are you sure you gave them enough consideration?"

"Yes, dad, further consideration would only hurt us both more."

"I don't know, I still think you need time and space from all this."

"Dad!"

Raising his hands he said, "It's just something to consider. Drink the rest of your hot chocolate and try to get some sleep."

She took another large sip and winced, taking smaller sips, she slowly finished the drink appreciating her fathers quiet presents. It gave her time to contemplate her own misdeeds.

Hindsight seemed unbearably clear tonight. She could see every mistake she made, every bit of harm she'd done, the small things and the big things. Each pain she'd caused Jacob, each wound she'd given Edward, stacked up into neat piles that she could not ignore or deny.

Charlie took the cup and kissed the top of her head. "I have just one more thing to say to you. No matter what happens, no matter what you decide to do. I love you, and I always will."

She settled herself into her bed and let her heavy lids fall shut in her exhaustion.

There were flashes of light, burning flames transforming into bright red curls that blew away revealing a too pale face. Furious red eyes turned gleeful as Victoria crouched over Jacob's bloody, lifeless body. His head lulled to the side, unseeing black eyes stared into Bella's.

"Noo! No, no, no, no," Bella chanted. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be true. Flashes of memory, Jake's lifeless body being carried by some of the wolves. "No," Bella shook her head. "Jake! No!"

"Bella!" Charlie's voice, "Bella wake up."

Gasping in breath Bella's eyes flew open. She tried to jump out of the bed, but her father was gripping her shoulders. "Jake! She killed Jake." She cried.

"Jake is fine Bella. Remember? He is at home resting."

Her wide wandering eyes finally focused on Charlie. "It's okay baby. Jake is okay."

More memories, her laying in Jake's arms, Edward playing with her hair. Edward leaving. Jake and her talking. Her leaving. A broken sob left her lip. The painful memories flooded her mind once again. Her father pulled her into his arms holding her tight until she cried herself to sleep again.

Charlie woke up stretching his stiff body. He looked down at his daughter, still whimpering in her sleep. He had pulled the rocking chair closer to her bed, so he could get to her faster to pull her out of her nightmares. He didn't blame her, he had a few as well. They were so real he had to stop himself from calling Billy to check which was reality and which was just a nightmare.

He soothed the knotted hair on her head before pulling himself away from her bedside to do the things he needed to do.

Halfway down the stairs he jumped at the too still figure that stood in the center of his hall. Bringing his hand to his chest he took a deep breath and mumbled, "For fucks sake." continuing his descent he said, "You do know that breaking and entering is against the law, right?"

"I didn't break anything."

Ignoring the boy's… Old man's? Quip he made his way to the kitchen and straight to the coffee pot.

"Charlie." He looked up and glared at the young… old… Vampire, intruder. Clearing his throat Edward said. "Chief Swan, I know you are trying to convince Bella to get some space from me." Charlie looked at him unimpressed. "I feel the need to point out your folly in that deed. You see, Bella needs constant looking after. She seems to find trouble everywhere she goes, and now that the supernatural world has been exposed to her. I fear the only one that can properly look after her is myself. So you see, it would be quite unwise to separate us again."

Pouring his coffee and leaning against the counter he took a long sip before speaking. "Edwin, you are not the only creature with a super inflated ego." Smirking He said, "Sorry, I meant superhuman abilities… that can protect her. I never said I planned to send her alone."

"But, I want what's best for Bella." Edward insisted.

"Do you? Or do you want what's best for yourself?" Taking the last sip of his coffee Charlie turned to make himself another cup. "If the two of you are truly meant to be together, then a little time apart shouldn't make a difference." Turning back to Edward he looked him straight in his face. Unless you're afraid she would change her mind and choose Jake." Smiling Charlie said, "If you are that paranoid knowing she would have no physical contact with him either. I think you need to take a deeper look at your relationship."

"Physical contact?" Edward asked.

Charlie wasn't sure if the…being…was not reading his mind because of his wishes, or if concentrating on keeping him out of his head was working. "Of course. I never said she couldn't talk on the phone or write emails and letters. Cutting her communication completely off would just be cruel." He said pointedly. Opening his thoughts he concentrated on the memory of Bella's zombie days. Her terrorized screams. Her lack of appetite and loss of weight. Edwards wince give him his answer on the mind reading thing. He concentrated on blocking his thoughts again. He wasn't sure but just the will of what he wanted seemed to make it work.

Turning to make breakfast for himself, Bella Charlie said, "You're still not allowed in her room."

Bella came awake with shaking breaths. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease, like medicine. Made it more bearable. But it was still there; She was aware of it, even in her sleep.

Her eyes felt swollen, but dry. Perhaps too dry.

Instinctively, she knew that the new tear in her heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of her now. Time would make it easier - that's what everyone always said. But she didn't care if time healed her or not, so long as Jacob could get better. Could be happy again.

Unlike the few times she woke during the night, there was no disorientation. She opened her eyes and met Edward's anxious gaze. He stood just outside the doorway. "Edward?"

"Charlie said I'm not allowed in your room. If you say otherwise I will break his rules."

"Come i…" Bella started, then she realized what a mess she must be. "Maybe, weight down stairs. I want to clean myself up."

"Of course love. Whatever you want." he Smiled stiffly and left.

Bella stood on shaky legs and made her way to the bathroom. She avoided looking in the mirror afraid of what she would see. She turned the hot water on as hot as she could stand it, thinking it would help with her swollen eyes. It was a mistake. It only took the warmth encompassing her to have her breaking down in tears again. She thought this was done. She wondered if the grieving process was over Jacob. She imagined he would have Leah to comfort him.

Leah! Ohno! What had she done?!"

A/N Thank you all for reading. Its My birthday. My wish is for a comment.