Chapter 16 - Needed discussion
"First of all, tell me: how are you feeling?"
The question the general asked her was relatively simple and straightforward, but it was one that could open to a myriad of different topics and answers. Instinctively, Ruby looked at her hand, clenching it a few times.
She noticed that at least her shaking was gone, now that she had some time to collect her wits. She could also feel, even without the help of her Scroll, that her Aura had fully regenerated after her time unconscious.
"Physically, I'm completely fine now. If you're asking me how I am mentally and emotionally, well… Can anyone say to be alright, after everything that happened?" Ruby sported a nervous smile following that question, in a feeble attempt to ease the tension of the situation, before looking away, embarrassed about how she possibly made things more awkward with her clumsy social skills.
Kastriot realized immediately what the girl in front of him was trying to do, and an amused smirk appeared on his face.
"Well, you are right about that," the man said, conveying some levity in his tone, so as to make her feel a bit more comfortable. Judging by the small sigh of relief she let out, it seemed to have worked.
"For what's worth, you're handling it a lot better than most." His voice and words were still informal, but Ruby felt also the serious certainty and gratitude behind them.
The huntress realized that the general seemed actually glad that she was still okay, and such care for someone who, despite what they went through, was still a relative stranger – moreover an upper-echelon from the austere and unfeeling world that is the military – took her slightly aback.
A few moments of silence stretched between the two, then the girl decided to continue by asking one of the most pressing queries in her mind since waking up.
"General, what exactly happened after I lost consciousness? I only heard that we won, but I still lack most of the details."
Eskender straightened in his seat, realizing the true heart of their conversation was now starting. He began speaking in his usual calm and measured way.
"To tell you the truth, you didn't miss much. After you passed out, the ork horde began its withdrawal back to the mountains. With the loss of their Gargant and the death of the warboss, the greenskins lost their cohesion and tenacity, which pushed them to a ruinous retreat. The Solar Flame, which had come to the planet shortly after, is currently in orbit, monitoring the mountains for any change in the orks' movements."
Ruby absorbed all those new details, glad at least that threat seemed to have been thwarted. However, another matter concerned her.
"... How many?"
There was no need for Kastriot to ask what she was referring to: knowing her disposition and virtues, it was fairly obvious. He remained silent for a brief moment, quickly reflecting on the various ways he could answer that question. He soon opted for what he believed to be the best approach to gain and keep her trust, especially in the long run.
"Between my regiment and the planet's forces, we lost over forty-three thousand men, with another ten thousand wounded and incapacitated."
The words were uttered in a straightforward manner. Others might have found his tone to be somewhat callous, showing a certain disregard for the loss of so many lives. Ruby, however, judging from the way the general looked at her, believed this wasn't the case: the old soldier was simply telling her the truth, without frills or embellishments. She appreciated his candour, if nothing else, even if the news wasn't improving her mood.
"And…what about the city? The civilians?" she then asked, trying to keep a firm tone even as the words left her mouth in a hesitant whisper.
Eskender studied the young woman in front of her as he answered her question with the same honesty used before.
"Most of the citizens' casualties occurred after the Gargant's attack hit several districts in the city, including a section of the harbour, where the evacuation was still taking place. To those, we have to add the people lost in the tumult and disorder that happened afterward, particularly when the rift in the sky opened.
"We are still awaiting the definitive data from the Administratum, but the latest estimation confirms that the death toll stands at roughly fifty thousand."
As he finished speaking, the general saw Ruby's reaction to his answer. At first glance, the girl seemed like a picture of composure, taking all that with a straight back and a resolute expression. But as he looked closer, with his experienced eyes, he noticed the signs in her that told otherwise.
Her eyes were slightly rimmed with red, a telltale sign of the tears she was desperately trying to hold back. Her lips were pressed tightly together, as though she was afraid that if she opened them, all of her conflicting emotions would come rushing out in an overwhelming flood.
Despite her attempts to remain stoic, he could see the traces of pain etched on her face, a deep-seated grief that slowly simmered just beneath the surface. Her shoulders slumped just the tiniest bit, as though an ever-growing weight was resting on them. Every now and then, she took a deep breath, in a futile attempt to find a strength that was slipping away.
The general had encountered that same expression before, during his long life. He had seen that look on few officers or other men with power and authority, the ones tasked with the fates of countless lives. Even his younger self had not been exempted from it, when he had been more susceptible to his own youthful enthusiasm and idealism.
She, like them, was going through the same kind of emotional struggle. Even as she tried to hide it from others behind a façade, depression and despair were growing inside her, fuelled by the blame she gave herself for anything bad that happened around her. Every death and suffering of those she considered on her watch had an impact on her, each one slowly eroding her confidence and resolve.
This was the burden of leadership, the curse that afflicted those who still cared about others. And he saw what happened to those who didn't find a way to overcome it: like them, she would eventually reach her breaking point, where her confidence, determination and will to fight would be lost forever.
When Kastriot realized what she was currently experiencing, part of him began to regret telling her the unadulterated truth. A gut feeling, however, told him that the deaths of this battle weren't the main source of her state, but merely the latest of a long string, rooting back to a tumultuous past that he was not privy to.
Eskender knew that he couldn't solve these issues for her. This was a fight that the fierce girl in front of him needed to win on her own. But that didn't mean he couldn't provide her some slivers of help, alongside the meager insight of an old man…
"I want you to read this."
Ruby turned to see the general getting some kind of parchment from a pocket on his richly embroidered wool gilet, the traditional garment that Ruby saw many Arbanians wearing over their standard military clothing, becoming effectively part of their regimental uniform.
"What is it?" Ruby asked, as she hesitantly grabbed the document Kastriot was handing her.
"It's a document I requested from the Administratum. It gives us an estimate, taking into account the specific areas and districts involved in the Gargant's attack, as well as the following disturbances, of the dead and wounded under a very specific scenario: the absence of the evacuation measures you had suggested and pushed for.
Look at the numbers below."
Ruby did as he said, looking at the bottom of the file, where she found the final estimations. The number she read shocked her, the simple thought of that level of innocent deaths enough to leave her aghast: more than two million people would have lost their lives in that dreadful hypothesis, over forty times the actual death toll.
"Even if you try to hide it, I can see what you're feeling right now." Ruby turned and looked firmly at the general, who spoke to her with the reassuring seriousness that only long experience can provide.
"You believe yourself responsible for the deaths of the civilians in Epidamnus. You think you didn't do enough, that if you had taken different decisions and done things differently, you could have saved them too…"
Ruby was surprised at how easily the general was able to read her. She remained silent, part of her feeling uncomfortable talking about that particular subject. She was so used to supporting others, to be the moral pillar of the people around her, that doing the opposite – like opening up and letting her worries and uncertainties out – was far more difficult than she imagined.
"I don't know what has happened in your life, what kind of events and tragedies have unfolded to bring you to this state, though I can safely assume the burden on your shoulder was heavy, even before coming to this world. I can only speak to you regarding what happened in the limited time I got to know you.
"You, on your own, saved more people in this world than any other could have. And you did that even before any shot was fired, as I wanted you to realize with this document. With your actions, you gave a chance of survival to all the people of this world when they had none."
"Even those that unfortunately didn't make it, died for reasons and factors that were, frankly, outside your control. It would be absurd for anyone to blame you for those losses. So, neither should you."
Kastriot noticed how the young girl was focusing on him and what he was saying, which was a good thing. His words were conveying a simple notion, one he was sure Ruby already realized on her own. However, he was aware that sometimes people in her situation needed to hear them, especially those as young as her.
"You aren't perfect. None of us are. All we can do, all that is asked of us, is to perform our duty, which is the same despite our different origins: do everything in our power to protect mankind and fight for it. And you have fulfilled that beyond any reproach. You should be proud of yourself."
He paused for a moment, as he gave her a reassuring smile while putting a hand on her shoulder.
"I will add one last thing. It might not mean much, especially since this is just my informal statement, uttered in a private conversation between us – you would certainly deserve a more public version of it, which I can't provide due to numerous reasons –"
Then, Eskender did something that completely surprised the huntress.
Lord General Eskender Kastriot, the Hero of Ostara, Master of the Arbanian Janissaries, once commander of millions, who had met and stood as an equal to Space Marine Chapter Masters, Canonesses of the Sororitas, and other influential figures of the Imperium, bowed his head to her.
"I thank you, for protecting this world and its inhabitants. And for saving the lives of my brothers and sisters, allowing my people to live to serve another day, you have my eternal gratitude, Ruby Rose."
The huntress found herself speechless after that display of appreciation and respect. The general watched with slight amusement how the flustered girl mumbled some courtesy words, her cheeks flushed. He also noticed, much to his delight, that her shoulders were lowering, her muscles were relaxing and her face was slightly more serene. All signs that she felt more at ease than before, even if just a little.
He was not so naïve as to think she had completely solved all her insecurities, and he was under no illusion that it would take more than just his words to help her overcome her current state. However, if the tangible proofs of her importance and his sincere gratitude for saving all these people had aided her, even if just a little, setting her on the right path, he would consider it a victory: he firmly believed this young girl had the strength to endure all the adversities she was experiencing, which one day will certainly help her become an even greater person than the one she already was.
It took a few moments for Ruby to regain her composure. His gesture had been completely unexpected, but she soon realized it was not unwelcomed: knowing her actions here, unlike other times, had a lasting, positive impact, certainly made her feel better.
"You don't have to thank me. I did only what I should have, what was right," the huntress finally spoke, the belief and conviction in her words palpable. She then paused for a moment, as the memory of sister Espasia's behaviour around her resurfaced.
"I imagine there are others who feel the same way towards me, judging by the way Espasia behaved with me…" Ruby tried to keep her tone casual, despite the subject being a bit touchy for her.
Kastriot didn't answer right away. He seemed to be measuring his next words, and the huntress believed she saw some inner conflict in his eyes.
"I wish I could say that is the case, but I would be lying. Or, rather, it would not be the whole truth." The general let out a sigh as he said that. The mix of interest and concern in the way she was looking at him prompted the man to continue: if he was going to learn more about what happened that night, that was the moment.
"Before I continue, however, I need to ask you something, this time. We said this would be a two-way conversation, right?" he remarked with a little smirk. He preferred to maintain some semblance of informality in this conversation, in order to make her comfortable: the last thing they both needed was for her to feel threatened and close herself off.
"Sure," Ruby replied, reciprocating herself with a friendly smile.
Deep down, the cynical part of her realized this casualness was, at least partially, a manipulation, in order for her to be more inclined to talk. However, she felt it was also genuine, and she sensed no malice in his intention, so she welcomed it. And besides, she preferred this kind of mood, considering she had an inkling of what his question would be…
"During our first meeting, you briefly told us about yourself and where you come from. That included your abilities, so to say, which I then saw in practice both during your training sessions and, later, in battle. All, except for one…" Eskender checked his interlocutor carefully, and Ruby could feel the increasing seriousness of their conversation. She already knew what he was talking about before his next words came out.
"When the daemons were about to overwhelm us, a bright, silver light originated from you, which seemingly vanquished them. And judging by the lack of surprise and shock from you upon mentioning it, I can safely say this mysterious power is not something you were unaware of."
Ruby almost flinched when she heard that: she forgot how perceptive the general was, especially when "reading" her.
"I-" the girl began to speak before she was interrupted by the old soldier, who gestured her to stop with the palm of his hand.
"Don't misunderstand me. I'm not here to accuse you of not telling me about it. You probably had your reasons not to. We were also strangers to one another, so there was also a completely natural diffidence and lack of trust. Plus, in hindsight, I believe knowing about that power at the time might have, well, complicated things a bit."
Ruby was partially glad to hear that there were seemingly no hard feelings on the matter, though she raised her eyebrows in confusion at the last part: she didn't understand in what way would her silver eyes complicate things. She refrained from voicing such doubts, however, letting Eskender continue.
"But now, after everything that happened, secrecy is not really an option anymore. And besides, I like to think that, after everything we've been through, my men and I have done enough to gain your trust, even if just a tiny bit."
"That's why I need you to explain. If not for me, for the sake of my brothers and sisters, as well as everyone who witnessed it."
"What exactly was that light?"
Ruby nodded, fully understanding the man's reasoning. If their positions had been reversed, she would have wanted to know as well. She still didn't understand the seriousness and preoccupation in his words, though, especially in the end: it felt as if the use of her Silver Eyes had some deep, unforeseen ramifications she was not aware of.
Hoping to soon unravel this mystery, she began to speak, disclosing what she knew about this mysterious trait. Which was still surprisingly little, as she was quickly reminded of during her brief exposition.
She told him that there was a rare lineage of people on Remnant, of which she was part of, who possessed these peculiar silver eyes. According to legends and stories, those who were born with them were destined to become warriors, with battle being forever part of their lives.
Eskender listened to her with silent concentration, showing no apparent sign of disbelief or skepticism. When Ruby mentioned to him other silver eyes users she knew and her mother was brought up, it didn't go unnoticed to the veteran soldier the pause the young woman gave.
Realizing full well the meaning behind her expression, he asked her if she needed a moment and, after her refusal, he tactfully changed the subject, questioning more about Maria and what she learned from her.
It was then that the function of the silver eyes was revealed. Kastriot learned how the light of these eyes was a pure manifestation of the wielder's desire to protect others, antithetical to destruction, and so seemingly working exclusively on the Grimm. Or, a least, that was the case until recently.
"That was the reason why I didn't mention it at the time," Ruby said at the end of her brief explanation. "Since I believed they only worked on the creatures of Grimm, I found no reason to bring it up."
"Yes, I can understand your logic." The general nodded as he closed his eyes, reflecting deeply on what he had just learned and finding no deception in her words and actions.
"I'm just as surprised and clueless as you for what happened that night and why my eyes affected those... things," the girl added, her revulsion obvious when uttering the last word. Then, after a moment of pause, she looked at the general and asked one of the main questions that had been echoing inside her ever since waking up, perfectly prompted by the subject of their talk.
"What exactly are those beings, anyway?"
The huntress noticed that Eskender watched her carefully before he answered, though she had the impression his gaze wasn't sorely directed at her. It was as if he was judging her intention, yet at the same time, he was questioning himself, weighing each word he was about to say.
"Understand that this particular kind of knowledge is forbidden to all the Imperium's citizens, barring a select few. And even amongst them, the degree of said knowledge varies significantly: I, for instance, who was allowed to learn about it due to my high rank and other... personal reasons, know only a few, vague notions on the matter. Which is probably for the best, I think."
"Zahra talked to you about the Warp, right?"
Ruby simply nodded at that easy question. Since their first meeting, she and Zahra had spoken about themselves and their respective worlds a few times, whenever they could. On several instances, the topic of their talks was their respective powers, their functioning and origin. That was where she had learned a bit about the "Warp".
A mirror dimension to the physical world, its energies born, fuelled and shaped by the emotions, thoughts, dreams and nightmares of every living being. It was a realm deeply liked with the material words, so much so that every action occurring in one reflected back into the other. It was also apparently – and that was what shocked Ruby the most – where every soul was generated and derived its power, as both were composed of the same arcane elements.
"That hellish domain is home to malevolent forces which are perhaps the greatest threat to humanity: the Ruinous Powers. The entities we faced that night, which we know as daemons, are their foul creations, direct manifestations of their malice. Pernicious beings whose sole purpose is to destroy mankind and corrupt its soul."
The description of the general made the horrible memories of that night resurface in her mind, much to her dismay. Recalling the heinous acts performed by those monsters to the unfortunate men and women who fought beside her was more than enough to confirm his words to her.
"Going back to our previous inquiry, concerning the reason why the power of your eyes worked on daemons, perhaps it might have less to do with you specifically and more with the type of target that light seems to affect."
"Even after reading and seeing only a tiny bit about them from your Scroll, I can't help but notice how eerily similar, in several ways, the Grimm of your world are with these warp predators…"
"So one night, the younger brother went and made something - something that shared his innate desire to destroy anything and everything."
"Everything is in the hands of our lords and creators, the true Gods, the undisputed masters of reality."
As he heard Eskender's hypothesis, different words, coming from distinct sources and seemingly unrelated contexts, came to her mind. They described different entities, yet now Ruby realized how much alike, how interchangeable they could be.
"There is still one last thing you haven't mentioned about this power you have," Kastriot then continued, after leaving her a moment to contemplate his last words. "Where does it come from? What is its source?"
"No one knows for certain," the girl answered with a flat tone that hid nothing. "There is nothing save suppositions and tales, derived from shrouded myths and old legends. Some claim a divine or otherworldly origin, but in the end, it's anyone's guess, really."
She wasn't technically lying. No one knew with absolute certainty the origin of the Silver Eyes. Even Maria's deduction, regarding the link between them and the God of Light – which was admittedly the most likely – was never directly confirmed.
'Then why didn't you tell him about that?'
She asked herself the question, as if oblivious of the reasons behind her own actions. She couldn't explain it, but she had a gut feeling, as she saw during her stay on this world how religious these Imperials were, that mentioning them some deity other than their own might not be a good idea.
And besides, after everything that happened that night, a part of her was starting to get sicker and sicker of hearing about "gods", as well as of how they seemed to have shaped, even indirectly, all the recent events of her life, in one way or another.
At her words, Eskender scoffed as he rolled his eyes, as if amused by a joke only he knew.
"Divine. That's what everything seems to be leading to, apparently."
Seeing the confused look on Ruby's face, he began to explain, shaking his head in bewilderment.
"I thank you for answering my question, and for your honesty. It's only fair that now I continue shedding light on your previous doubts, before I interrupted with my inquiry about your power."
He let out a weary sigh, which carried all the heavy burdens the man was now carrying. Ruby also felt he was about to speak of something he would have preferred not to.
"As you already deduced by observing Espasia, some people will start to behave differently around you. Gratitude for your heroic actions and the lives you saved certainly explains part of it. But it's not the main reason."
Kastriot paused for a moment, as he looked directly at Ruby, green eyes meeting silver ones.
"I won't beat around the bush. What you did back there was something truly extraordinary, never seen before. A miracle."
The last word left the huntress dumbfounded. Seeing her confusion and lack of words, the man explained, trying to clarify cultural values so different from what she was used to.
"We live in dark times, Miss Rose, in a universe full of horrors and dangers. Against such evils surrounding us, most people would be lost - even with us fighting to defend them- if not for a simple, yet powerful element: faith."
"To quote a passage from my favourite book: faith keeps a man true and, even in the darkest hours, illuminates him like a candle flame. It shows him the path, and prevents him from straying into the lightless thickets where insanity awaits.
"For countless people faith in our God-Emperor, who does everything for the benefit of mankind, as well as the belief that He shields us and protects us, is what keeps them going. Which leads us to you..."
The general studied the girl's face as he spoke, trying to discern what was going on inside her mind. He saw in her a general puzzlement, yet underneath it, he could glimpse a small, increasing realization of what he was getting to.
"People are seeing the annihilation of the daemons by the light from your eyes as a miracle. A concrete sign that the God-Emperor was, and is, directly protecting us. Even the citizens of Epidamnus, who didn't witness it first-hand, still felt its effects, and even if they don't know who performed this miracle, they are already spreading rumors and conjectures.
But, unlike them, the soldiers who were there know what happened. They saw you doing something truly extraordinary. In their eyes, the Emperor saved them from the spawns of the Ruinous Powers. And He did so through you.
For them, you are a living manifestation of His might. A saint."
An awkward, almost uncomfortable silence fell as the general finished speaking. Ruby was at a loss for words, unable to even conceive the notion she had just heard. When she began talking, the words came like a flood, almost mimicking the stream of consciousness inside her.
"A saint?! A manifestation of his Might?! Me?! But that's… that's absurd! I-I mean, it makes no sense! I had no idea who your Emperor, your god, even was before coming here. The world I come from doesn't either. As I said before, this ability didn't manifest here for the first time, but it's something I – and others – have already experienced before. So, how could this power derive from him?"
Kastriot listened to her reaction without saying a word, allowing the girl to freely vent some of her confusion. At first glance, it might seem like he accepted her disagreement without an issue. However, if one looked at him closely, they would see him flinch slightly, as well as reflexively clench his fist, when Ruby spoke about the Emperor and the faith around him so dismissively.
He certainly wasn't used to speaking with someone who didn't display the proper respect when referring to the God-Emperor, unless it was a filthy heretic and traitor ready to be justly eliminated. It was a good thing he wasn't his younger self anymore, who had been quite impulsive and hot-headed sometimes, or he might have reacted very differently.
Years of experience had made him more patient and even-tempered, allowing his rational side to quickly regain control and realize her words for what they were: not a malicious offense towards the Emperor, but a simple emotional outburst, born out of shock and stress and fuelled by a simple ignorance of who the Master of Mankind was and His importance for all humanity.
He let her finish and calm herself a bit before he replied.
"You told me yourself that the source of this power is currently unknown by you and your people, with only myths and speculations trying to explain it."
"The God-Emperor is almighty, His presence and influence manifesting in many shapes and forms. According to the texts and teachings of several members of the Ecclesiarchy, – which I firmly believe in –, He is the protector of all mankind, not simply the denizens of His Imperium. He watches over all humans, so long as they don't act at the expense of the rest of humanity and they are not enslaved by the machinations of the alien or the tempting lies of the Archenemy."
"With that in mind, can you truly dismiss, out of hand, the possibility of His intervention through you and your eyes?"
Ruby looked away slightly downwards, her brows furrowed, reflecting a state of focus and introspection. She was still pretty sure the hypothesis of the general wasn't the correct one, not just because of what she knew about the God of Light and its implied connection with the Silver Eyes, but also due to a hunch, an instinctual sensation that she could not quite put into words, that made her believe that this wasn't the answer.
At the same time, however, she couldn't simply discard the general's words, either. Beyond the fervour in his look and words, there was a certain kind of logic that couldn't be denied out of the blue.
Seeing her musing, Eskender sighed, trying to rearrange his thoughts. He didn't want her to feel like he was forcingly imposing his view on her, so he decided to clarify that part.
"Naturally, I should also follow my own advice. Just like you shouldn't rule out such a possibility, I too must not take it for granted. Your power may indeed have nothing to do with the Emperor, as you seem to be convinced of. But that's not what everyone else will believe."
"I've seen the looks of citizens and soldiers alike. I've heard their prayers and their words of gratitude. To them, the manifestation of that light was a transformative experience, a glimpse into the unimaginable power of the divine. Faith bloomed in their hearts at that moment, and from that night it stood unwavering, a beacon of hope that kept them strong and resolute despite the nightmares surrounding them."
"I doubt you will be able to convince them that light wasn't a miracle and you aren't someone blessed, even if you shouted it to the rooftops."
"And even if you could do it, part of me can't help but wonder if you should. Would it be fair to them if we took away the strength and reassurance given by their renewed faith?"
The last part definitely caught Ruby off guard. She didn't truly grasp, until now, how much their religion was needed for the people of the Imperium as a spiritual support. It was both humbling and incredibly overwhelming to realize the way others saw her.
The knowledge of people seeking her for solace tugged at her heartstrings, her altruistic soul reacting to their vulnerability. Yet, at the same time, she was also feeling incredibly uncomfortable, experiencing a sense of unease at being an object of veneration and worship.
"To tell you the truth, unlike a lot of my men, I was – and still am – unsure of what to think about all this. That was the main reason why I wished to speak to you about it: I hoped that, from your words and reactions, I might have gained some insight into this power's origin and, most importantly, on whatever or not it could represent a danger for the people on this world."
"And while we are still both in the dark regarding the first aspect, I feel safer about the latter: after our talk, I am more convinced that this power of yours is not something to be wary of, whatever its source may be. It should have been obvious, in hindsight, considering it belongs to a kind and compassionate person, whose actions speak for themselves."
Kastriot smiled a bit while saying the last part: he truly meant it, and he hoped that his words might lift her spirit a little bit. That didn't seem to work, at least not completely: while she smiled back at him following his compliment, he could see in her eyes new worries and tension swirling inside her.
"I'm sorry. I realize this is a lot to take in," the general said as she put a hand on her shoulder.
"I wished I could have spared you all this. But I feel it was best if you learned it from me beforehand, rather than having some unexpected experiences."
"I will do all I can to mitigate any extreme behaviour towards you, at least when it comes to my fellow Arbanians. I know them well, and I'm sure that, after the initial shock, they will be able to see past the idealized version they are making of you."
"As for the citizens of Kanrilia, I advise being more discreet and cautious. If they meet you, their response might be too much to handle, both for you and us. That is why I suggest you stay within the base and refrain from making contact with the people from outside, at least until we can control the situation. For that, it is a good thing that most don't know who you are and what you look like."
Ruby nodded slightly at the man's suggestion: she understood the reasoning behind it, though she didn't like any of this. Her mood was getting darker and darker with this whole "religious misunderstanding" and everything that it entailed.
"A lot has fallen on your shoulders. I can't even spare you from all this by simply making you go away off-world, in search of your home. Right now, travel beyond this system is completely impossible. And we have no idea for how long…"
"What do you mean?" Ruby asked, this new information temporarily overshadowing her previous concerns.
The general began explaining how, since the formation of that terrible rift in the sky, the light of the Astronomican had vanished. Moreover, the warp was in complete turmoil, impeding any attempt at astropathic communication.
During her time on this planet, the huntress had learned a bit of what was considered to be common knowledge in the Imperium, and Kastriot didn't mind filling any potential gaps she might have had during his explanation. That was why she knew how essential this beacon called the Astronomican was for interstellar travel, and consequently how much more complicated finding a way back to Remnant had become upon hearing of its sudden disappearance.
"The moment the situation changes, you'll be the first to know. For now, you're unfortunately stuck with us. We provide a dull company, I know."
The delivery of that last humorous remark was effective enough to make Ruby giggle slightly in amusement, despite the myriad of thoughts and worries she was currently having. She knew full well what he was trying to do, that is lifting her spirit a bit and making her stay positive in spite of everything that was happening to her. Nevertheless, she appreciated the gesture.
The two talked together for a while longer, most of the chat being answering Ruby's question pertaining to the status of things after the battle, as well as clarifying certain aspects she hadn't yet grasped, though there was no lack of inquiries from the general about Remnant, as well.
Then, the voxpiece in the general's ear began to chime, causing the man to look at the window and sigh, the signs of fatigue resurfacing in his look.
"Well, I enjoyed our little chat, and I would have loved for it to continue, but duty calls," Kastriot said as he got up from his chair.
"We will speak again soon, since I'm sure you want to discuss your condition during your stay here with us. For now, all you have to do is rest: it's the least you can do after everything you've been through." Eskender then added, his tone calm and comforting.
"I feel fine now. I prefer to get out of here, if possible. I don't like staying put and doing nothing." Ruby replied, already moving to get up from her bed. The honesty in her words was plain as day: she wanted to avoid staying in that room with nothing to keep her mind busy, alone with her uneasy thoughts and growing fears.
Kastriot seemed to ponder for a moment, while his look told her he understood perfectly how she felt.
"How about this? Tonight our regiment is going to have a ceremony in the camp's main square, to commemorate our fallen brothers and sisters. You are free to come, and as a gesture, it will be certainly appreciated. I can make it so you are discharged before it starts.
"Until then, stay here and recover: if I make you leave now, I won't hear the end of it from Sister Espasia. When it comes to the patients in her care, my authority means very little to her."
"Alright," Ruby answered with a small smile, responding to Kastriot's smirk after his last remark. It was a reasonable, acceptable compromise, after all.
"Well then," the general finally said at the door's threshold, turning back at her a final time. "I'll see you soon. Take care of yourself."
The huntress nodded at his words, and she watched as he left. Then, once she was alone again, she slumped on her bed, covering her face with her hands: it was as if, after everything she had learned, she hoped to relieve her anxiety and ease her mind the same way as her body.
Easier said than done.
⁓
Kastriot walked down the aisles of the medical camp, moving towards the exit. All around him, he saw a myriad of men and women, moaning in pain and writhing in excruciating agony. Some of the injuries he saw were truly gruesome: had he not been desensitized by more than a century of warfare, he might have felt sick, overcome by extreme shock.
His heart was with them, yet his mind wasn't entirely there. What he had learned from Miss Rose was effectively monopolizing most of his thoughts.
'That was certainly a lot to take in,' he said inwardly as he recalled her words, so far it being the only comment he could manage.
Had someone told him years ago a story about magical eyes which vanquish evil, he would have asked him what kind of amasec he was drinking and if he could have some. Times were indeed strange, considering that not only had he heard such a tale, but he also firmly believed it, considering he had witnessed it first-hand.
Honestly, the more he thought about it, the more he tended to agree with the more pious of his comrades, as everything he saw and heard about that silver light pointed at it being a divine manifestation. Yet, part of him, recalling the girl's diffidence at the suggestion, alongside her visible unease on this whole matter, made him desist.
This certainly wasn't a black-and-white subject, which made things more complicated.
He wondered what to do with these new pieces of information. He will probably tell Sharifa, because he couldn't hide anything from that woman. Other than her, though, he preferred not to tell anyone else for the moment, including the few others who already knew about Miss Rose's true origins.
He had no way of knowing how people with different principles, beliefs, and allegiances could react with such knowledge, and the current situation was already too critical as it was, without adding these unforeseen variables to the mix.
"Sir!"
His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the salute of three guardsmen. Turning his gaze toward its source, he was greeted by some familiar faces from squad Demiraj.
They all bore the scars of recent wounds.
Sergent Ismail Demiraj was supporting himself with a crutch, its limping suggesting an injury on his left leg. Moreover, new bandages were applied where his previous wounds, from his first encounter with Miss Rose, were located. Even with all that, he had still flown with the Falcons during the second part of the battle, showing no less skill and dedication than the aforementioned stormtroopers.
The imposing figure of Trooper Qemal was covered with burn marks on a good part of his body's right side: Kastriot saw the man continuing to fire its trusted bolter even after an Ork missile had exploded right next to him, leaving him in that state.
Delmina had her left arm completely encased in a cast, after some serious surgery done in the hope of saving it. Even after that, she might not recover fully. Despite this prospect, he recalled fondly how she had shrugged the wound and kept squeezing the trigger of her weapon with the other arm, thanking the Emperor she still had the dominant one to continue fighting.
Despite what they had endured, they carried themselves with dignity and honour, and Kastriot was genuinely proud of them, as well as all the other guardsmen of his regiment.
"At ease, soldiers," the general said to them, seeing no need for that kind of formality at this stage. Protocol be damned.
"I'm glad to see you all on your feet, though no one would blame you for needing a little more time to recover," he then continued, his tone remaining commanding, yet also forthcoming, as suggested by his smile.
"We thank you for your concern, sir, but there's no reason to worry," Ismail replied, speaking for all of them. "There are others more in need of medical attention, while we are already feeling better. We will be ready when you intend to move to the offensive, sir!"
"Hearing you say these words greatly reassures me, sergeant. It's with men and women like you three that the spirit of Arbanon lives on, defiant and unbroken."
He meant every word of what he said. Said words swelled the three guardsmen's chest with pride, while they thanked the general in perfect unison.
"Now, did you need anything?" Eskender finally asked, after a moment of pause. "Feel free to speak openly with me: you earned that much, at the very least."
There was some hesitation from the three soldiers, who looked at each other nervously. It was once again Ismail who spoke, voicing the question the squad wished to ask.
"Are the rumors true? Is Ruby- Sorry, Miss Rose. Is she awake?"
Kastriot didn't miss the sudden shift in the young sergeant's colloquialism when mentioning the huntress, already suspecting the cause of it. He decided not to address it, however, instead choosing to answer normally.
"Yes, she is," he said, straightforward as usual. "As a matter of fact, I just came back from visiting her. And, before you ask yes, she looks fine and healthy. Far more than all of us, certainly."
The general saw relief in their eyes, especially those of Ismail, though he could also see something else underneath it. He decided to make it surface.
"I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you decided to visit her. Actually, I think she would appreciate the company."
And there it was. They were trying to hide, some better than others, but he could see the signs all the same, as he read their body language. There was in them the desire to meet her, but it was equally opposed by other feelings.
Hesitance. Nervousness. Religious awe and dread.
He feared this would happen. What she did at the end of the battle would inevitably elicit such a reaction, born from the subsequent belief that she wasn't just a simple warrior, but an Instrument of His will. He couldn't even blame them, since part of him was still struggling with such a mindset and the emotions born from it.
Unfortunately, there was no easy answer and solution to this change of view between them, one that didn't involve either the huntress accepting her new status, or his men renouncing their faith in her – both of which he found highly unlikely to happen –.
"Of course, mine is just a suggestion. You are free to consider or not," the general at last spoke as to interrupt the awkward silence, his tone showing none of what he was thinking. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have matters to attend to."
The general began walking away as the guardsmen stood at attention. As he passed near them, however, he stopped right next to Sergeant Ismail, before he turned towards the young man.
"May I offer you a word of advice, sergeant?" Kastriot said to Ismail, though his voice was high enough that the other two could hear it clear as well. "Not as your superior officer, but as a simple old man who has lived and experienced enough to have learned a thing or two?"
"O-of course, sir!"
Eskender put his hand on the soldier's shoulder, as if wanting his words to better reach him through a direct connection.
"Don't let the opinions of others define you and your beliefs. Trust yourself and your instincts, before anything else."
The general then left after uttering these words, leaving the sergeant and his men at a loss for words, unable to think why they had been told this maxim and what its meaning entailed.
As he walked away, the old general hoped he, as well as the others, would heed his words. For their own sake. And for hers.
⁓
The knocking on her room's door almost startled Ruby, so deep in thought she was.
"Come in."
The girl lightened up, as she saw three familiar figures at the threshold. Alongside Zahra, they were without doubt the ones she had bonded with more during this short time here.
"Hey guys! It's great to see you. Please, enter." The girl quickly invited them in, only now realizing how much she needed company at that moment, with everything that was going on. She didn't notice how the three soldiers seemed to hesitate a bit before coming inside: her attention was drawn more to the various injuries they were displaying.
"Are you guys ok? Should you even be outside of your beds? Those wounds look pretty serious…" the huntress asked them, worry and concern radiating from her words and her gaze.
"We-we are fine," Delmina answered tentatively, as if she was struggling to find the right thing to say. "Compared to what you did, and the pain you must have suffered, what we endured is nothing. Honestly, the fact you seem so… lively, after all that, it's…" the woman then trailed off, seemingly awestruck by the whole situation.
"I have to admit, this is only the second time I collapsed from exhaustion after a long battle, so that says something. Still, nothing a good, simple rest can't fix."
Ruby let out a nervous giggle after saying that, embarrassed by her own attempt to lighten the mood. In response, she received only an awkward silence from the three guardsmen, a behaviour diametrically opposed to the one the three would have displayed around her until a couple of days prior.
Their reaction was already a wake-up call for Ruby, who was beginning to have a bad feeling about this. After she made a couple of other attempts to start a normal conversation with them, which were met with stuttering, and overly polite replies, that bad feeling became an unfortunate certainty.
The realization hit her hard, despite being something to be expected: the same people who had once laughed and spoke openly with her – the latter of which was something that she hadn't done, in turn – seemed to hold her at arm's length now, their eyes filled with awe, newfound reverence, and even a spark of skepticism.
The once familiar warmth in their interactions had been replaced with a distant politeness, caused by being in the presence of someone they now believed to be sacred, untouchable.
Ruby was disheartened by this change. Thanks to her talk with the general, she understood where this belief had sparked from. The extraordinary effects of her Silver Eyes could only be perceived by them as a miracle from their Emperor, though she refused to believe this notion.
The similarity between her powers and the abilities they attributed to the Emperor was just an unfortunate coincidence, a misunderstanding that now threatened the relationships with the people around her.
If they had been simple strangers, Ruby was sure she would not have been bothered that much: sure, she would have been uneasy and uncomfortable by all this adoration, by this distance between her and others, but it was nothing she couldn't endure. But this behaviour, coming from Ismail, Qemal and Delmina, stung her more than she thought it would.
She knew them only for a few days, Too little time for most people to think of someone as more than an acquaintance. And yet, she felt that a bond was born with these three, all the same.
The lonely girl, lost in an unknown world, longed for the simplicity of their friendship – she had no other way of defining it –, yearning for the light-hearted connection they had. She missed the late-night laughter, the shared anecdotes, the unfiltered conversations between military exercises and battle preparations. Now everything felt superficial, guarded and cautious.
She wanted to shout the growing frustration she was feeling, yelling her discomfort from everything that was happening to her, from this nonsensical worship of her, to the horrors she had witnessed in the last battle, to the excruciating separation from her family, her friends, her home. But she was also aware that lashing out would only make things worse.
"No matter what has happened, I'm still me..."
The words came out of her, not as a defiant shout, nor a fierce critique, but as a resigned, subdued murmur. It wasn't what you would expect to hear from a mighty, perfect saint: they were instead the expressed feelings of a simple girl, authentic in her virtues and flaws. It was such an unforeseen conduct that left the three guardsmen astonished, and none more than Ismail.
Ever since entering that room and seeing her, the sergeant had remained totally silent, swirled around by a vortex of conflicting thoughts and emotions. He gazed at her with awe, just like everyone else. How could he not, after witnessing first-hand and up close everything she had done: her actions, even her presence, transcended the ordinary. She was a beacon of light, a heavenly saint walking among mere mortals.
Yet, the advice of the general echoed inside him, disturbing that reverential trance. And when he finally paid more attention to it, just as Ruby said those last words, something changed.
In his bewildered eyes, glimpses of recognition suddenly emerged, as if that veil of religious admiration was slowly beginning to lift.
In that fleeting moment, he saw beyond the ethereal facade and caught a glimpse of the girl he knew. Hidden beneath the layers of mystique, he found that innocent hope, that simple purity that had drawn him to her since the beginning, before the miracle she performed during the last battle.
A rush of emotions flooded his mind, a mixture of nostalgia, surprise, and a newfound understanding.
Who was the person in front of him?
She was the defender and saviour of Epidamnus, the Heroine of Kanrilia.
She was the Gargant Slayer, and bane of the greenskins, so dreaded by those filthy xenos that she was given another nickname by them: Red Rippa.
She was a living Saint, blessed by the Emperor, a bringer of His light against the dark horrors from Hell.
But before all that, she was Ruby Rose. The young woman who saved his life. The one who, despite being a great and powerful warrior, acted like a simple, normal girl around him and his teammates, laughing and chatting together like it was the most natural thing in the world. The one whose pure, sweet smile was the most beautiful, dazzling thing he had ever seen.
A friend.
A friend that he now noticed being tightly gripped by loneliness, even as she was surrounded by others. He became aware of the sadness in her eyes, as well as the weight of expectations that she was carrying on her shoulders, placed upon her by the faithful – himself included – who didn't see beyond the miracle.
He cursed himself inwardly for not realizing this sooner. There must be something that he could do to show his support and bring her some measure of comfort, however small it may be…
When her lowered eyes looked up, Ruby saw that Ismail had approached her bedside, much to the surprise of everyone present.
"So, final count?"
Ismail's unrelated question came so unexpectedly that it caught everyone off guard, especially Ruby, whose mind momentarily blacked out from the confusion and puzzlement.
"Huh? Wha.." Ruby trailed off, those being the only expressions she could manage.
"From our contest, duh," Ismail replied condescendingly, as if talking to a younger sibling who was failing to grasp the simplest of notions.
"How many greenskins did you kill, from when we started at Ultima, until we were interrupted by... them?" Ismail continued, his tone pretty casual and informal, save for the momentary pause when he recalled and mentioned the daemons.
Ruby was still stunned by the sudden shift of the mood that she struggled to give a coherent answer at first.
"I... I don't know... wait...I think it was... thirty-five?!" she then managed to reply, after pausing a moment to recall that period and make a quick mental count.
"Thirty-five! Wow, that is truly remarkable. As expected from the greatest warrior of this world!"
The sergeant nodded as he complimented Ruby, though the huntress didn't miss the teasing inflection in his voice: it started to remind her more about Yang's tone whenever she made fun of her, especially during their childhood. Then, the man slowly brought his face closer to her.
"I myself am sitting pretty on thirty-eight," he then said, sporting a grin both mischievous and triumphant.
"Now, I want you to say it: Master Ismail, you are a far better sniper than I am!"
Delmina felt the following, uncomfortable silence hit her like a thunder hammer. She saw the girl looking at Ismail, her eyes wide open: the sudden lack of respect from her sergeant's demeanor and words had obviously upset her!
What in the warp was that idiot doing, behaving like that?
What if they angered the saint? What will be the consequences of such blasphemy?
"Pfft-ahahahahah!"
The sound of Ruby's laugh suddenly echoed through the air, breaking free from the constraints of her body. It started as a gentle ripple, barely audible, before gaining momentum and erupting into a joyous crescendo. Her face held a contagious grin as she threw her head back, with her eyes shining from a sense of mirth and euphoria that brought her to tears.
For the young huntress, this laughter was truly liberating: with each peal and tear, it released pent-up emotions, unraveling layers of stress, worry, and burden that weighed down her spirit.
"Ahahahah- ok, ok, you- ahahahah- win. Enjoy this moment while you can, because you are losing badly next time- ahahahaha!"
"Yeah, bring it on!" Ismail replied, before bursting into laughter as well. Ruby's expression of delight and relief was infectious, spreading to the guardsman like wildfire.
Delmina found herself dumbfounded by that surreal change of the mood, unable to think of what to do in this situation.
"I...can't..."
The woman turned towards Qemal, standing next to her, as she heard him speaking. The tall, muscled giant was visibly shaking, his head bowed and his fist clenched. Then the big man began to slowly walk towards the two laughing friends.
From the outside, the sight of such a man approaching someone would be truly intimidating, and his stance would suggest an incoming outburst of violence. His massive arms descended on the two, seemingly as if to strike them.
Instead, he grabbed both of them in a bear hug, lifting them in the air with incredible ease.
"I'm so glad you are fine, after everything that happened. I'm also happy you didn't change after your elevation. You have no idea how much I wanted to give this hug. I'm sure the Emperor doesn't mind if I hug one of his Saints, right?"
"Ahahahahahhahah/Ow- let me go, Qemal. That's an order-"
Ruby kept laughing as she was twirled in the air by the big trooper. Even Ismail, despite commanding the subordinate to put him down, couldn't hide the smile on his face.
Witnessing the wholesome scene unfold, Delmina facepalmed, groaning at his companions' attics.
"God-Emperor, forgive these idiots' impertinence. Please, don't strike them down..."
Even as she whispered that, however, the woman couldn't help but smile as well, a part of her thankful that things with this sweet newcomer had not changed completely.
While still embraced mid-air laughing with each other, Ruby's eyes met the ones of Ismail. For a single moment, her amused chuckles left the room to a simple, grateful smile to the guardsman.
"Thank you," the girl mouthed the words to him, her gratitude pretty clear even without a loud voice carrying it. Ismail replied only with a nod: after all, in that moment, there was no need to say anything else.
Even during that pleasant experience, the young huntress, deep down, knew that the future ahead of her looked dark and uncertain. Whatever her path would be, it would be bumpy, steep, and filled with dreadful obstacles that would test her resilience and resolve. She doubted she would be able to face all this alone.
And yet, this small, seemingly insignificant moment of levity seemed to briefly illuminate that darkness looming over her fate. That short instant of peace became a powerful reminder of other joys experienced in her life, of all she had, as well as all she still hadn't lost yet. The desire and hope to find her family, her friends, and her home was also given new strength by it.
As a result, a newfound sense of determination emerged within her, despite the persisting insecurities and self-doubts still gnawing at her soul.
Whatever adversity and struggle the future held for her, she would persevere, facing them head-on.
For herself.
For everyone she loved and cared about.
For all those who needed her.
She had to.