Twenty-Three: Where Do We Go From Here?
Elaina cries for what feels like hours. Eventually her tears run dry, and she just lays silently while Penny strokes her hair. After what feels like an eternity, she speaks. "Why?" She asks in a tone devoid of emotion. "Why?" she asks again. No answer comes. Penny is silent. Elaina tries to sit up, but her body won't move. "I've got you, my sweet Elaina. I'm not going anywhere."
Elaina finds her ability to move and sits up to wrap her arms around Penny. "Did she tell you?" Elaina asks. "Yes." Penny's response was short and sweet as she wrapped her arms around Elaina. "She told me everything. How many bits did she give you?"
"Four." Elaina responded as she pulled back from Penny. "Wait, is there more?" Yes. That was about ten echoed through their mind. Elaina stood and walked into the hotel bathroom where she unleashed a torrent of vomit. Penny jogged over and put Elaina's hair into a ponytail as she continued vomiting. "Ten Percent." Elaina cried as she threw up again. "He's not my father!" Elaina screamed. She stood and flushed the toilet, then went to brush her teeth.
"I can't imagine being five and having that happen, baby." Penny stroked Elaina's back as she tried to brush away the disgust she felt. Eventually Elaina spit and rinsed her mouth. "You're not lesser, Elaina. You're not responsible for what happened." Elaina stepped forward and put her head on Penny's shoulder. "I need to shower." She said as she gave Penny a hug. "And I can't be alone. Will you sit in here with me?" Penny nodded and sat against the wall as Elaina stripped. For the first time in a while, she took stock of the body. There were always scars she didn't recognize, three on her inner thigh. Burns. Amara said as Elaina noticed how much her pelvis hurt. There had been a dull ache in her hips for years and she never thought anything of it. She climbed into the shower as she shook off the dissociation.
Penny sat, wordlessly. She didn't use her phone, she didn't daydream, she just sat against the wall. Penny is a trooper, Elaina, and I hope you cherish her for as long as you stay together.
"I will, Amara." Elaina said as she lathered up her body with hotel soap. She scrubbed, hard, like that would somehow make her feel less nasty. After a few minutes the water was scalding Elaina's skin, but she didn't care. The burn felt good, and most of all it reminded her she was a person. After a few minutes, she turned off the water and stepped out. Penny handed her a towel and Elaina began to wordlessly dry herself off.
"Do you want me to get you some pajamas?" Penny asked. Elaina nodded and Penny retrieved her sleep pants and a camisole from Elaina's bag. Elaina looked at the garments and the tears started falling again. Penny tossed them onto the bed.
Elaina hung up her towel and climbed into the bed she shared with Penny. "I'm not going to be ok for a very long time, my love." She said as Penny took off her clothes and climbed into bed next to her. "You don't have to be. We're still here, we're still together, and I still love you more than anything, 'Layna." Elaina rolled away from Penny and Penny wrapped her into a spooning position. "I've got you. I won't abandon you, baby." Penny said. Elaina lost consciousness.
Amara wakes up nude, with wet hair, being spooned. "Penny, you're a wonderful woman." She says as Penny releases her. "Thank you. I'm here for you too, Amara." This made Amara smile. "No one's ever really been here for me." She said as she rolled onto her back.
"It doesn't exactly please me to be the first, but be that as it may, I am here for you." She rolls onto her back next to Amara. "It sucks." Penny says, and Amara snorts and starts to laugh. "What? I'm trying to empathize here." Penny said as Amara wrapped her into a side hug.
"You're damned adorable, that's what. I'm kinda jealous of her in a way." Penny paused at that statement, and the silence grew tense. After a moment, Penny spoke. "Amara, swipe right for fuck's sake." Amara chuckled and rolled onto her side. Penny did the same. "I think I've fallen for my alter's girlfriend." Penny smiled, "And I may have fallen for my girlfriend's alter. Let's wait to do anything until you and Elaina have calmed down." Amara nodded her assent and got up to turn off the lights and crawled back in bed next to Penny. "Good night, Penny." Amara said as she fell asleep. Penny rolled to face away from Amara. Her face was beaming.