Chapter 15: S'Vrall doesn't need a corpsman to save T'Sil's life. She doesn't need anything. It's what everybody else needs, and that is to stay out of S'Vrall's way.

I could tell my arrival at sickbay was not unexpected.

I wasn't greeted by whom I was expecting, however.

Dr. Culber: "Something I can help you with, Lieutenant?"

It looked like he was having none of me in 'his' sickbay.

But nor was I. I don't have time for egos. "I'm here to see Nurse Duke."

"All medical matters come through me," Dr. Culber responded. "Unless this visit is a personal one, in which case you can see her after her shift."

"I've always wondered," I said cooly: "why is the Chief Medical Officer concerned with minutia, such as sick calls or Vulcan female concerns, ... don't you have more pressing matters, like: a division to run?"

"I do," he said, "and if this were about Vulcan female concerns, you could've stated that up front. Lt. Duke is the person to see about that. I'll get her."

"Ah," I said.

"One more thing, Lieutenant," he said.

"Yessir?"

"I don't know how things were handled on the Vulcan ship, but your tone borders on insubordination. A lieutenant doesn't question a commander. You may want to watch that, going forward."

He waited for my response.

"Noted, sir," I said simply.

Dr. Culber nodded, thinking he had scored a point, and left.

I wondered, idly, if, when I reached the rank of Commander, would I be such an asshole? But then T'Sil parting words to me gave me an answer. I already was a fucking bitch, according to her, so there was no need for me to wait for a promotion.

Dr. Culber returned with Nurse Duke, who was very obviously less than thrilled to see it was me.

He looked between the two of us. "Something I should know?"

"Not from my part," I replied crisply, looking at Nurse Duke.

She wouldn't return my look. "Nosir. I'll do my job."

Spitting in my face would've shown less disgust than her response to Dr. Culber. Talk about insubordination!

Dr. Culber frowned but addressed me. "You know, being in security, you probably want the medical corps on your side, not aggressively against you?"

"Just a thought," he offered, then returned his office.

Nurse Daisy turned on me, anything but sunshine. "What do you want?" she hissed.

I held up two fingers. "Two months," I stated.

That gave her pause. "Your cycle is two months?" she asked, confused.

"No," I clarified. "That little girl, so lively, playful, carefree, careless, ... that stupid, little girl, T'Sil, is going to be dead in two months, disintegrating into a puddle of undifferentiated biomass, by my reckoning, unless you identify the disease and find her a cure."

"So glad to hear your expert medical opinion," she lashed back. "What does this have anything to do with me?"

"It doesn't have anything at all to do with you, nor with me. I just choose to help because I can. Or, I hope I can. You?" I countered.

"I took the Nightingale Pledge. So, that means, 'yes.' I'd even help a Klingon in need."

"You and I are different," I said.

"No need to state the obvious," she said. She changed gears. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Besides that one?" I replied.

She narrowed her eyes at me, catching the criticism, then moving past it. "How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-four Federation standard years."

Nurse Daisy shook her head. "God, I feel so old!"

"Why?" I asked. Now it was my turn to be confused. "You're age now is not even half the lifespan of a human being, correct?"

"And you're only a tenth of yours!" she replied.

I shrugged. "So?" Then a realization dawned on me. "Are you calling me a child?"

"No!" she said quickly. "It's just ..."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I guess, for humans, it's different," she 'explained.'

"How so?" I asked.

She looked away. "Once you hit thirty, as a woman, – you know: a human woman, I mean – and you're not settled, with the kids, and the husband, and the house with the white picket fence? Well, guys aren't interested so much, anymore. But then, what can you do? You can't act like a girl in her twenties any more and be irresponsible, but you also can't appear needy, so you find yourself sidelined, and life just ... whoosh! ... passes you by."

"Hm. Interesting."

"Isn't it, though?" her reply was rancorous.

"You don't get out much, do you?" I surmised.

"No, I don't get out much. There's this, ..." she waved about sickbay. "... then before ..."

She didn't elaborate. But she didn't need to. She may not have been aware that I knew quite a bit more about her than I was letting on.

I am in security, after all: it's my job to know everything about everybody.

"You may want to attend the shipboard socials and go out on shore leave and attend functions at the port," I offered.

"Gee, thanks for the advice! You could also tell me I shouldn't work so hard and should sleep more for the perfect trifecta! ... not that I don't hear that from my mom all the time, already!"

"That's sarcasm," I noted.

"You're so good at identifying human nuance," she spat.

I wondered if pointing out that that phrase was sarcastic, too, would help.

I didn't think it would.

"I think you're underestimating yourself, however," I said. "'Sidelined' seems inaccurate to me, particularly as T'Sil reported to me that you were 'out of her league,' as she put it."

Nurse Daisy's brow clouded. "T'Sil said that?"

I nodded.

Nurse Daisy didn't look happy about that. "So, now I'm her nurse in shining armor having to save her life and I have to deal with puppy-love, too? This is just great! When I said 'settle down,' I didn't mean as a mom to her. I'm not looking a relationship with a child."

"Mm," I said. "T'Sil has something to address regarding her statements to you."

"I've already heard enough from her, thank you." Nurse Daisy said quietly.

"Perhaps you have, but would you allow her to apologize to you? Her statements were mean-spirited, childish, and unforgivable. She's lost face and has hurt you. Will you allow her to make amends?"

Nurse Daisy did look at me at that, taking me in. "Why do you care so much about this?"

"She's lost face, ... and you're hurting," I repeated. Humans need to hear things multiple times in order to process information. I've found this tedious but necessary. "Need I anything more than that to care?"

"Yes," she said, then she held up her hands quickly. "... but don't answer that. I've had enough bullshit for today."

"'Bullshit,' from me," I said. "That's a surprising assessment. I rather see myself as straightforward."

"Yeah, you would, wouldn't you?" she replied, dauntless. "'Straightforward,' you say is just more of your bullshit. You stand up for a Vulcan? Okay, I can see that. But there's something more between you two. But when I call you on it, you call me a racist? That was hurtful, unnecessary, and makes me think there's something way more to it than what you're willing to admit. I call that 'bullshit.'"

"And your comment wasn't racist at all?" I countered. "Do you know how many times at Starfleet Academy I was asked if I were related to Spock?"

She looked me over. "You don't look anything like him," she said.

"I don't," I agreed. "But human after human..."

She raised her hand. "No need to explain: I get it. Now, tell me, what makes you say: 'two months'? What disease do you think she's got?"

"I believe it's of a genetic neurodegenerative order."

She looked at me blankly. "And you believe this because ...?"

"Can we go to somewhere more private?"

"Not back to your quarters," she stated flatly.

"Of course not, ..." and I looked away.

"What was that for?" she demanded.

She was getting better than most humans at reading Vulcan-tells. I'd have to be more cognizant of that in future interactions with her.

"T'Sil's having a bit of a tantrum right now," I explained, "so my quarters are less than ideal for more than one reason."

"And you say she's not a child," Nurse Daisy accused, glaring.

I raised an eyebrow. "Did I say she's not a child? I don't recall."

"Great. So now I'm a cradle-robber." Nurse Daisy sighed. "Follow me, please."

I followed her to sickbay's lab.

... 'please.'

...

I showed Nurse Daisy the satchel.

"Do you recognize this writing?" I asked her.

"No," she said. "Should I?"

"No, and that's a good thing." I opened the satchel and showed her the ampules inside. "How about these?"

"Hypo-sprays, obviously."

"Yes," I said, "but these contain gene therapies. I'd like you to examine one of them and tell me what you find."

I gave Nurse Daisy one of the ampules.

I added, considering that this was Orion-tech: "It may be boobytrapped, so discharge the therapy from the ampule before you commence any testing on it, ... don't discharge it into yourself, please."

"I'm not stupid, you know," she told me, offended.

"I didn't think you were," I replied. "I just have to make sure I'm dealing with one problem at a time. And, even though I said you didn't have to come by my quarters, I think you need to get a complete scan of T'Sil for your tests, too."

"Oh," Nurse Daisy replied. "I already have that."

I raised an eyebrow. "How?" I added, in case she didn't get my non-verbal question.

"I scanned her last night," she said.

"But ..." I began, but then I stopped.

"'But...'?" she prompted.

She then smirked. "You weren't going to say you illegally tampered with medical data and erased her scan, covering it over with your own, were you?" She smiled sweetly at me.

"Funny thing," she observed. "There's only one scan uploaded to the ship's computer, but I had my tricorder send all data to my personal log, and, when I reviewed my log, I saw I had two scans, both Vulcan, but one of them, a Vulcan under no physical duress at all, but with some of the readings not making any sense, not for a Vulcan. Then the following scan of a very physically injured Vulcan. Both female. Both Vulcan. One ...could mistake one for the other, if my tricorder only did one scan. But it did two last night. Care to explain that?"

I frowned. "I have nothing to explain."

"Of course you don't," she said. "But the data from the security cameras would, wouldn't they? That would need approval from security – you – for me to review, though, correct? And I'm guessing it would take a while for me to get that approval, what, with you being so busy an all, yes? So, I have to wonder how T'Sil got ahold of those data? Her access couldn't possibly be illegally, could it?"

She looked at me, waiting for my response. And I think she saw it.

Because she continued. "Then there's the whole T'Sil-problem."

"'T'Sil-problem'?" I asked.

"How is there another Vulcan onboard ship? Is she on the ship's roster? I don't know that. But the XO would, wouldn't he? How does the security officer know this, and maybe the XO and the Captain don't? You know it's my duty to report this to the chain of command. You know Commander Culber would just love to drag you when he finds out that I reported this stowaway, or whatever, and you had full knowledge beforehand and covered up this vital information. Isn't this directly concerning the ship's security?"

"Yes," I said, "it is your duty to report this. Why haven't you?"

She shrugged. "Busy?" she offered, looking around the lab. "I'll get to it, eventually. It is my duty, as I said."

"That sounds like blackmail," I suggested.

"No," she said. "'Blackmail' is threatening you with something that I know that you don't want to be known in exchange for something I want. I don't want anything." She thought about that for a second. "Except maybe to be treated like a decent human being, but it's too late for that."

"Yes," I said. "T'Sil owes you an apology."

"Yes, she does."

The temperature in sickbay dropped three degrees at Nurse Daisy's icy glare.

Good thing Vulcans generate their own heat.

"Will you allow her to apologize?"

Nurse Daisy thought about that. "Like, ... a formal apology?"

"Yes," I said.

"This a Vulcan-thing?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Then, I don't know." Nurse Daisy examined the ampule.

"Ah," I said. "Thank you for your answer."

Nurse Daisy looked up from her work. "What happens if I say 'no'?"

"For Vulcans, honor is a very important thing. Without honor, a Vulcan is nothing."

"T'Sil wasn't acting very Vulcan-like at all, I have to say," Nurse Daisy observed.

"That, too, is a point of honor. She shamed you, in front of us, and she shamed herself."

"And...?" Nurse Daisy prompted.

"And," I replied, "If you say 'no,' ... then your research will be unnecessary."

"That sounds ... ominous?" Nurse Daisy supplied.

"'Ominous'? No. 'Fated,' I believe is more accurate."

"'Fated,' ... like 'fatalistic'? Like: she's going to kill herself?" Concern clouded her eyes, then: realization. "You're going to kill her? No! This is the 23rd Century!"

"What does the Stardate have to do with honor?" I replied. "Say you will allow her to apologize to you, in person, via the Vulcan Rite of Atonement, and you don't need to confirm this speculation."

"So, like," she said slowly, "then I have no choice."

"You actually do," I replied and looked down at the ampule. "Her life, after all, is in your hands."

"Haha," Nurse Daisy laughed bitterly. "Do I have to pretend to like what I have to hear, going through this? Do I have to say: 'Oh, it's okay. I accept your apology,' and make nice? Is that what I have to do during this, ... what was it? Vulcan Atonement?"

"No, you are not required to do anything," I replied. "In fact, for you or her to get anything out of this, I'd recommend you be honest, brutally honest. She is going to be."

"She's going to be brutally honest? When she's the one who insulted me?"

"Yes," I said, "she had better be brutally honest about herself, what she did, and how that hurt you. Otherwise, what is the point of the ceremony?"

"Brutal honesty," Nurse Daisy pondered. "Okay, I'll do it. 'Honesty' is more that I've gotten from most anyone, anywhere, ... including you."

"Good," I said. "Thank you." I turned to leave.

"You do realize I just insulted you?" Nurse Daisy called out.

I turned back. "I do realize you tried to insult me. May I say something to you? Something brutally honest?"

She measured me. "I'd appreciate that."

"Mm." I said. "You know nothing of me. Your 'insult'? It doesn't even scratch the surface. If you wanted to hurt me, you would take one of your surgical tools and cut me open and watch me bleed out and die in front of you, pissing on me as you laughed in my face. That's how you hurt me, pi' komihn, because your words are the softest petals of a flower on my skin, but you know all about that, already, don't you, Nurse Daisy?"

"What do you mean by that?" she demanded angrily.

"That security footage you were so keen to get access to? Would you want it so badly when it shows you coming to my quarters with the intent purpose of seducing me, clearly physically compromised, so possibly unable to give legal consent under those circumstances, but then, showing you fucking an unconscious minor, according to Vulcan law, five years younger than allowable Koon ut Kalife-age, who clearly had no way to give consent? You call 'bullshit'? I say: before you get on your high horse, take a good, hard look into the mirror and see what and who you are. Vulcan tribunals are not as lenient as Starfleet or Federation Courts of Law. What would happen if the Vulcan High Command got wind that a Starfleet officer was corrupting Vulcan youth? Your career? Forget your career. You'd be spending the rest of your life in a Vulcan Correctional Facility in what you'd call 'solitary confinement.' But then, you wouldn't be the only one to suffer, now, would you? That comment 'old enough to be your mother' was informed by personal experience, isn't it? How old is your daughter now? Twenty? ... attending Duke University, getting good grades and being a good girl? How sweet."

Nurse Daisy stood there, taking it in. "You leave her out of this, or so help me, God, I will ..."

"You'll rot away in a cell, on hot, dry, Vulcan, for the rest of your life, no communication to the outside world, ever. No visitors. Ever. That's what you'd do, Nurse Daisy."

She swallowed. "Blackmail, ... back?"

"No," I said easily. "Because that is not going to happen. Your intention to hurt me? Who hurt whom just now?"

Nurse Daisy was blinking hard.

"You hurt me, Nurse Daisy?" I shook my head. "You have no idea what I am nor what I am capable of. Because, so far as you'll ever know, is that you'll be in that hell on Vulcan, with your daughter on the outside, somewhere, and who else is out there, too?" I asked.

"Me." I said. "What might happen to her, I wonder, when I pay her a little visit at the Starbucks she baristas? 'Hello. How are you?' I'll say. She may even take a shine to me. That Vulcan-fever may run in the family, no? We go out for drinks, ... we go back to my place, ... I fuck her brains out, ... then ..." I smiled and pantomimed the Tal-shiya with my hands, snapping the girl's neck. "Did you think about that when you ventured your snide, little comment?"

Nurse Daisy was visibly shaking. "You don't threaten my daughter. I'll ..."

"What? Report me? What happens when I evade capture? Or worse: I can kill every enemy on a starship. You've seen that. What happens when this crew tries to detain me, hm? They become my enemy, and I will not hesitate, do you understand me? You do anything, ...no: anything happens to me? I have a kill-switch on the video feed. If I don't check that system at regular intervals, that footage is leaked, and, eventually, the Vulcan High Command will get ahold of it. Your attempt to finish me will be your own end, ... and your daughter's. I know how to live on my own. I've done it for more than a decade. Who will make a better fugitive? You, or me? Who protects their own better, Nurse Daisy? You, or me?"

"Don't fuck with me," I said. "Don't fuck with me, nor mine. Just don't." I smirked. "And we can be 'pals,' as you humans call it. Best buds, yes?"

"Oh," I added, "and since where now such good friends? Let's keep this little tête-à-tête between us, shall we? I'd really hate for anything to happen, ... should this private conversation go beyond just the two of us, yes?"

I let that sink in.

Then I let what was happening to me, seeing her there, vulnerable, scared, alone, ... I let it happen.

I walked right up to her, so quickly, for her, she didn't have time to react. I put her head into my hands, and I kissed her. Hard. She struggled, at first, but human strength is a reed blowing in the hurricane that is the power of just one single Vulcan. Eventually, she stilled, realizing that I wasn't hurting her, that I wasn't killing her, that I wasn't crushing her skull in my hands, as I so easily could.

She stood there. And she took my kiss.

It was really, really, good, those soft human lips against my own. I've missed this: this experience I've never had, but now that I was having it? Oh, I wanted it more, this human-experience.

This softness.

This.

I broke our kiss and looked into her eyes. I could feel her whole body trembling in my hands.

"This is what you missed last night, Nurse Daisy. This is what you wanted, yes, when you called out: 'please! please!'? Now you've got it. Congratulations! You have everything you want. Right here. Right now. So," I smiled at her, "be happy, hm? Because now, Nurse Daisy, you? ... you are mine."

I had something else, now, as well: I had evidence on sickbay's security cameras that she and I are lovers.

I left her, standing there, a reed, shaken, in the wind, trying to comprehend what the hell just happened.

Me?

I had work to do.