Nearly a Woman (July 1937)

Liesl walked up the road to her house, two books securely in her arms and a couple more in the bag on her back. She was alone, a rare occurrence in a family of eleven, but she had needed to stay late at school on that day for a project and had told her parents that she would take the bus home, not wanting to make her father or Franz drive back into town for her. Though she could see her father was reluctant to agree, he relented after a pointed look from her mother for which she was grateful. It was rare that Liesl had time to herself to simply think, and she was enjoying the long walk from the bus stop.

As she neared the house, she hit a solid form which recoiled away from her. Assuming it was one of her siblings, Liesl looked up, an apology on her lips. The words never came out, however, for she found herself looking not into the face of a sibling but rather a face she had only seen in passing at school. The boy she was looking at was a year or so her senior with sleek blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He was quite handsome, and Liesl felt her heart rate increase. "Sorry about that," he apologized, reaching out a hand to steady her. His touch seemed to burn her skin, even through her clothes. "I think I've seen you before," he said, peering closely at her.

"School," Liesl breathed, mentally berating herself for how silly she sounded. She cleared her throat, forcing her gaze to the bushes just over his right shoulder so that she could gather her thoughts. "I think we attend the same school. I've seen you there."

"Of course. I'm Rolf, by the way. Rolf Gruber." He held out a hand, and Liesl took it immediately.

"Liesl von Trapp."

"Well, I am very glad to make your acquaintance, Liesl von Trapp."

"Me, too." They stood a bit awkwardly for a moment before Liesl ventured to ask, "What were you doing here anyway? Are you friends with Friedrich?"

"Friedrich?"

"My brother. Though I suppose that answers my question."

"I was actually just delivering a telegram. That's my job." He stood a bit straighter, obviously proud of his occupation. Liesl nodded, noting the bag he had slung around his shoulder.

"That's nice," she said, wishing she could think of something more exciting to say. "I guess that means we will be seeing more of you then?"

"As long as you get another telegram. Your house is on my route."

"Good." Liesl blushed as he peered at her in confusion. "I mean, you seem like an excellent deliverer of telegrams, so I am glad you handle our house," she stammered before forcing herself to stop talking lest she sound even sillier.

"I am glad you think so. I hope you receive another telegram soon." With a smile, he continued on his way, swinging himself onto a bike that was leaning against some nearby hedges. He waved to her over his shoulder as he pedaled away. Liesl watched him go, hoping someone sent her father a telegram sooner rather than later.

Fortunately, she did not have to wait long, for three days later, she was out in the yard playing a ball game with her siblings when she saw movement around the front of the house. Something compelled her to investigate, so she called out that she was taking a break before making her way to the front of the house. When she got there, her lips curved up in a smile upon spotting a bicycle leaning against a shrub. "I was hoping I might see you again," Rolf remarked, and Liesl turned to see him standing a few feet away. Her smile widened.

"You mean you were waiting for me?" she asked, trying to sound coy.

"I just thought I would take the long way back to my bicycle." He moved closer to her, smiling when he stopped in front of her. "You know, this was my last stop for the day," he remarked.

"Oh?" Liesl's mind worked frantically as she tried to think of something intelligent to say. Finally, she settled on, "Perhaps you would like me to show you around the grounds in that case?" She wished she had more experience with the opposite sex, but she had never even had a boyfriend before, so she was not quite sure how to act around a boy who was interested in more than friendship. Fortunately, it seemed that she had done something correct, for he nodded.

"That would be wonderful."

She smiled at him, dropping her eyes as she felt a wave of shyness passing over her. "Uh, we should start this way," she said, purposefully leading him away from the yard where her siblings still played. As much as she loved her brothers and sisters, her acquaintance with Rolf was something she wanted to keep to herself for a bit longer. He followed her agreeably. "There is a lovely gazebo over here," Liesl said, warming to her subject now that she had his attention. "It has always been one of my favorite places to sit and think or read." She took him to the intricate structure, gratified when he looked at it with interest.

For the next hour, she took him to various places on the grounds, only stopping when the sound of her siblings playing disappeared, indicating they had gone inside, likely to clean up for dinner. "I suppose it is getting late," she said, feeling her shyness return. Straightening her spine, she forced herself to ask boldly, "Perhaps I will see you again?"

"I look forward to the next telegram," he said, surprising her when he grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. His lips were warm, and Liesl felt a fluttering in her chest. She blushed, looking down at the ground. "Goodbye, Liesl von Trapp," he said softly before turning to leave.

During the next two weeks, Liesl found herself quite grateful that her father received a large number of telegrams. Rolf had taken to delivering the von Trapp telegrams last on his route, and he would linger on the estate until she was able to slip away and join him. She had not told anyone of their meetings, not even Maria who was generally the person she went to for advice. For the moment, she wanted to keep him to herself, to relish the wonderful feeling of attraction without bringing in any practical considerations as she was sure Maria would do. Unfortunately, she was not able to avoid such considerations indefinitely.

Liesl was sitting in the gazebo with Rolf one day around three weeks after they had first met when her father's familiar voice suddenly sounded behind her. "And what exactly is going on here?" Both teens whirled around, and Liesl noted with trepidation that the narrowing of his eyes and firm set of his jaw matched the anger in his tone. Of all the people who could have come across her with Rolf, he was the one who worried her most.

"We were just talking, Father," she said quickly, glancing over at Rolf who had jumped to his feet when Georg arrived and now stood stiffly, almost as if he was standing at attention.

"Talking? Tell me, how long has this talking been occurring?" Georg's voice was dangerously low as he turned to address his question to Rolf. Unfortunately, Rolf did not know him well enough to realize he was treading on dangerous ground.

"Three weeks, sir."

"Three weeks, hmm. Three weeks of talking and neither of you thought to inform my wife or myself about your. . . conversations?" He stared hard at Rolf who finally seemed to realize it would be in his best interests to remain quiet. Liesl decided to take over, hoping to quell some of his anger. After all, they had done nothing wrong—she could talk to whoever she wanted.

"We have stayed on the grounds every time, and I have never been late to dinner or neglected my work," she reminded her father.

"Be that as it may, I will not have you interacting with this boy any further. You are to stay far away from him, and you," he turned back to Rolf, "are to stay off my property and away from my daughter unless you would like to find yourself in a very unpleasant situation."

"But. . . the telegrams. . . "

"I am sure you can figure out a way to deliver them without interacting with my daughter. Now, go. I want to see you off of this property in the next five minutes. And Liesl, you have fifteen minutes to ready yourself for dinner if you want to eat tonight."

"But Father-"

"Go!" Georg thundered, and both teens immediately jumped to follow his command, nearly running in their haste to be away from him. Liesl looked back only once, feeling slightly frightened when she noted her father watching Rolf leave with a dark look in his eyes. It was the first time in her life that she had such a feeling about her father—even when he was distancing himself from his children after his first wife's death, she had felt more angry at him than scared. But now, she was scared, wondering just what the man who had always been her hero and protector might be capable of.

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Maria heard the front door open forcefully as she was going upstairs to finish preparing for dinner, and she turned to see what was happening. A frown formed on her face as she watched her eldest daughter fly into the room, tears streaming down her face while she ran up the stairs. Maria followed her instinctively, finding her sprawled across her bed, her face buried in her pillow. "Liesl, dear, what happened?"

"Why don't you ask Father?" she muttered into the pillow. Maria had never heard the normally even-tempered teenager speak with such venom, and it worried her all the more that Liesl had nearly spat out the word Father.

"I would rather hear from you what has upset you so."

Liesl shook her head against the pillow. "I don't want to talk about it. You can tell him that I'm not coming down for dinner and probably will not be there for breakfast either."

"Liesl, you need to eat."

"Not with him."

Maria realized she was getting nowhere with her daughter, so she decided to seek the only other person who might have information about the situation—her husband. She found him in the foyer, his jaw clenched and a glint in his eye that she had only seen after a particularly difficult mission. "Georg?" she asked.

"I will not back down on this one, Maria, no matter what you say."

"Considering I have no idea what you might need to back down on, I was not planning to say anything other than to inform you that our daughter is upstairs in her room crying her eyes out and refusing to eat."

Maria watched the flicker of emotions across his face. She relaxed slightly when the first one was concern, but it worried her when his face quickly hardened once more. "She cannot do so forever. Eventually, she will eat."

"Georg, what happened?"

"It does not matter."

"Yes, it does if it has made both you and Liesl so upset. Neither of you are particularly given to strong emotions."

"I handled it."

"It does not seem that it is handled particularly well," Maria said, growing exasperated that no one would tell her what was happening.

Georg faced her fully, and his eyes darkened with anger. "Are you questioning my judgment?"

"How could I when I do not even know what your judgment was?" Maria cried, throwing up her hands. She realized belatedly that their voices were growing louder and they were standing in the middle of the foyer where anyone could see them. Modulating her tone, Maria suggested, "We should retire to your study."

"There is no need. It is almost time for dinner, so we should prepare for that."

"I refuse to sit through a meal while you and Liesl are in such a mood without knowing the reason why." They stared at each other for nearly a minute before Georg finally whirled around, striding so quickly to his study that Maria had to practically run to keep up. He slammed the door behind her before rounding on her.

"I went out to find Liesl and inform her that dinner was ready. Imagine my surprise to discover that she was not alone. No, she was with a boy, a boy who I had never met before but who she has apparently become quite well acquainted with over the last few weeks." Maria's brow furrowed in confusion. Surely he could not mean. . . but no, that made no sense. Liesl had not even had her first kiss yet, and she was the type of person to confide such things in Maria. Maria could trace her romantic interests from her first one at twelve-years-old up to the present. Of course, that made it all the more concerning that she had not heard about her secret meetings with whatever boy Georg had seen with her.

"I did not know."

Much to Maria's relief, Georg's expression softened slightly. "I am aware of that. I know that you would have told me if you were aware of these meetings. The blame rests solely on them. I have no idea what Liesl was thinking. She knows better. We raised her better than this."

Maria was now worried again. "Georg, are you saying that. . ." She trailed off, unable to voice the question, but Georg understood. His eyes widened in horror.

"God, no, she has not lost all sense at least. But she has been sneaking around to talk to this boy for three weeks at her own admission."

Maria breathed a sigh of relief. Talking she understood. "Georg, perhaps you are overreacting a bit," Maria said, keeping her tone calm. "Liesl is a teenage girl. Yes, she should have told us about this boy, but your first requited crush is exciting. I am sure the secrecy was simply an attempt to keep that excitement building for a little longer."

"I am not overreacting! The boy had on a shirt with a swastika, the one the Hitler youth wear. He is a Nazi! What is my daughter thinking, consorting with someone with those beliefs?"

"Surely he is not old enough to be a Nazi."

Georg's eyes bored into her. "You would be surprised who they take into their ranks," he whispered fiercely. Maria noted that most of the anger had faded from its face, only to be replaced by anguish. She realized suddenly that there was more to the situation than Georg had explained, some underlying cause for his reaction.

"What happened?" she asked softly. Immediately, he turned away, his eyes downcast.

"I don't wish to talk about it."

"Georg, please," she pleaded, grabbing his hand and pulling him back to face her once more. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek gently in her hand. "Please let me share this burden. Please let me in so we can make the best decision for our daughter together."

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he finally spoke, his words were mechanical, devoid of any emotion. "On my last mission, they took me on one of their raids. I managed to stay out of the action for much of it, but near the end, one of the men in charge forced me to come along with two other "recruits," boys really, for they could not have been more than sixteen or seventeen. They marched into a shop owned by a Jewish couple and forced them out onto the street. And then. . ." His voice broke, and he took a shaky breath before he could continue. "The commanding officer told one of the boys to shoot the couple. I was frozen for a moment, but I realized I could not let that boy become a killer. He was not much older than Friedrich! I saw my son there for a moment, and I had to stop it. I stepped forward, told them I would kill the couple instead, but the commanding officer pushed me back, said that I had 'proved my devotion to the cause' already and needed to let others do the same. I still pulled my gun, was actually pointing it at the husband when one of the boys made the decision for me. He killed them both." Georg swallowed hard. "That is what they do to the boys who join. Those that are not killed become killers. I do not want to explain to my fifteen-year-old daughter that the boy she's courting falls into one of those two categories."

Maria closed her eyes, feeling the swirl of emotions inside her. When she opened them again, she saw Georg staring at the floor, his face expressionless. "I understand," she told him, and she meant it. "I will talk with her, help her to see that we are only acting in her best interests."

He nodded but made no other movement. After a few seconds' silence, he spoke again, his voice so soft Maria had to strain to hear the words. "I am afraid," he admitted. "Afraid that I am losing myself. I was ready to kill those people though they had done nothing to me. And I. . . I still do not know that it would have been the wrong decision." He looked up at her then, his eyes pleading as if asking her to assure him that he was right, that even if he had killed the couple, it would have been the correct decision. However, Maria could not give him that assurance. Her faith told her that murder was wrong, and she still believed that with all of her heart, but she also believed that her husband was a good person who strove to do what was morally right. She could not figure out how to reconcile those two beliefs. He seemed to sense her dilemma, for he nodded, casting his eyes down again. "I see. Perhaps I have become a monster already."

"No!" she denied immediately, for if there was one thing of which Maria was certain, it was that her husband was the best man she knew. "You are not a monster," she said firmly, grabbing both his cheeks in her hands and lifting his head so their eyes met. "You are Georg von Trapp. You are the man that I love. You are the father to nine wonderful children who worship you. You are one of the greatest naval heros this country has ever known. That is who you are. No matter what else happens, those things will keep you from losing your true self." He stared at her for a few moments, his eyes shining, before leaning forward to kiss her soundly. His kiss was deep and passionate, and Maria actually stumbled backwards with the intensity, stopping only when her back hit the door of his study. She dropped her hands from his face, placing them on his hips instead as his own splayed across her back. His tongue delved into her mouth, tangling with hers as he pulled her as close as possible, pressing their bodies tightly together. His presence flooded Maria's senses, warm and safe and comfortable, and she knew that no matter how crazy the rest of the world became, one thing that would not change was their love for each other. That was something she could hold onto, a truth in which she could easily believe.

When they finally pulled apart, they stood holding one another for a few moments, basking in the warmth of their love. "Thank you," Georg said finally, pressing a long kiss to her forehead. Maria nodded, understanding the depth of meaning in those two simple words.

"Perhaps you could try confession," Maria suggested. "It has always helped me when faced with moral quandaries." Georg considered a few moments before shaking his head.

"I appreciate that it helps you, but I do not know that I am ready for such a step yet." Maria nodded in understanding. Georg had begun attending church again shortly after they had married with Maria's encouragement, but she knew he was still wrestling with his faith, and his continued involvement with the Nazi party was certainly not helping matters. Maria knew questions of faith were personal, so aside from some gentle encouragement, she left him to work out his own relationship with God. She trusted that God would help him find his own path just as he had helped her.

"I suppose for now, I will just have to have faith enough for both of us," she remarked, smiling gently.

Georg returned the grin, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "I have no doubt that you do, my love."

Three days later, Maria found a couple hours where she could slip out of the house for confession. She told the whole story to Father Thomas; when she had finished, the two sat in silence for a short time. Finally, Father Thomas let out a long breath and remarked, "You certainly do not come with the easy questions, do you, Maria?"

Maria managed a small smile. "I rather hope that by this point in my life, I have learned to answer those on my own."

"I suppose that is true." He paused a moment more before continuing. "At the end of the day, we live in a sinful, fallen world. That means there may come a time when we are faced with two choices, but neither of them are morally right."

"But what can we do about those times?"

"Pray for discernment. God has a plan for all of us, Maria, and though I do believe his plan for every person is special, I rather think his plan for your husband specifically is quite unique. He will show him the right path, help guide him through those tough times if he simply has faith."

"He confessed to me that he is not sure he has enough faith."

"I think he has more than either of you realize. God has worked his own wonders in him through you."

Maria blushed, looking down at her hands. "If he had. . . followed through with his thoughts, that would have been murder. Everything I've been taught says that is wrong, but I don't know that I would have condemned him for it."

"You have a good heart, Maria. You both do. Remember that God sees that as well as our actions."

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Georg glanced down at the telegram in his hands—one that Franz had found pushed through the mail slot, he thought wryly—contemplating his next move. It was not unexpected; in fact, it followed the typical pattern for his Nazi contacts for it had been around two weeks since their last request of him. However, on the current occasion, he could not bring himself to accept it immediately. He knew he was still reeling from everything that had happened on his last mission, and he worried that things would only grow worse. He had told Allan when he took the assignment that there were things he simply would not do, and he was growing dangerously close to that line. He did not want anyone to force him to cross it.

With that thought in mind, he picked up the telephone and dialed the familiar number. Allan picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Allan? It's me."

"I wasn't expecting to hear from you. Did you need something for your next assignment?"

"I want out."

There was a long pause on the other end. "Out?"

"You promised me at the beginning that there would be a way out if I needed it. Well, I need it."

"Slow down, Georg. What happened?"

"It doesn't matter what happened! You promised me a way and now I want the way."

Allan paused again, and his tone was measured when he finally spoke. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!"

"Okay. It will take a bit of time to get things in place here, but we should be able to put something together in the next two to three weeks." Georg heard Allan sigh and could almost see him shifting uncomfortably. "This is a very final decision, Georg. It will mean a good deal of change in your life. I ask once more- are you absolutely sure?"

"I have made my decision, Allan."

"Alright. I can have someone begin working on things on our end tomorrow. We will publicly accuse you of selling secrets to the Nazi's—that is true enough anyhow since very few people know the secrets you gave are the ones we told you to give. Given that such a crime is punishable by death, we should be able to make enough of a paper trail to indicate that you did die and then we can provide you identity documents so you can slip away into the countryside. Obviously, returning to Austria will be out of the question, but I imagine you will grow to like England eventually. There are a number of beautiful locations."

Georg noted immediately that Allan was glossing over an important point. "And what about Maria and the children?" he questioned.

Allan coughed. "Well, you see, your family is rather conspicuous. People will not ask many questions about a single man showing up in the countryside, but a family with nine children. . . well, that is much harder to hide. Besides, those in charge felt that some of your children were still so young it may be best not to tell them the truth anyway lest they inadvertently reveal it."

Georg remained silent for a moment, too stunned to speak. When he finally was able to speak, his voice was low and dangerous. "You are telling me that your way out is for me to leave my wife and children?"

"We will compensate them handsomely, of course. They will never want for anything."

"Except a father and husband."

"I did warn you that the way out would bring a number of changes to your life."

"My wife and children are my life."

"Well, perhaps you can remarry. As far as the world is concerned, Georg von Trapp will be legally dead, so you will be free to do as you wish."

"No."

"Georg, if you would just think for a moment, you will realize there is really not another solution."

"What you provided is not a solution. I am not leaving my family."

"Georg, just be reasonable-"

"Reasonable? Reasonable?" Georg's voice rose to a dull roar. "Right now, I am the only reasonable one in this mess. I agreed to do this on the condition that you provide a way out when necessary. I have done what you asked. I simply ask that you do the same."

"Okay. I will go back to my superiors, and we will talk about other options."

"See that you do." With that, Georg hung up the phone, afraid that if he spoke with Allan any longer, he would do something he later regretted. He heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in," he called, glancing up. The door opened, revealing Maria standing there with a frown on her face.

"I heard shouting," she told him.

"I would really rather not talk about it."

She nodded in understanding, crossing to his side. She pulled him into an embrace, and he rested his chin on her head, feeling the tension slowly leave his body. How could anyone think he could ever consider leaving her behind? After a couple minutes, he said softly, "We will have to work on our own exit plan." She pulled back slightly, looking at him in confusion. "I cannot trust it to anyone else. Everyone else seems to have their own agenda, and they are not always in the best interest of our family."

"Then I suppose we will figure out a plan together." Georg gave her a small smile, grabbing one of her hands and placing a long kiss on the palm.

"I love you."

"And I love you, too. With all my heart."

He pressed another kiss to her hand before glancing at the clock on the wall. "It is time for Liesl's piano lesson." Maria smiled, obviously recognizing his intent. They had skipped the last lesson, for both were still angry at one another, but Georg hoped that perhaps Liesl's anger had cooled. His certainly had. Georg tucked Maria's arm in his, and they walked together out of his study. They parted ways in the foyer, Georg pressing a lingering kiss to her lips after a quick glance around to ensure they were alone. While she left to put the youngest children to bed, he walked to the room his eldest daughters shared, knocking lightly on the door. Liesl looked up as he pushed open the door, smiling slightly when she saw him. "Would you like to play tonight?" he offered.

Liesl's eyes lit up, and she immediately marked the page in the book she had been reading and stepped out to join him. Once they were in the hall, he pulled her into his arms. "My darling girl, I do truly want what is best for you, and I don't believe that boy is it, but I could have handled the situation more calmly."

"I know. And I don't know that he is either, but you know what the books say—sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince."

Georg's eyes widened, and he looked down at his daughter with concern. "You did not mention kissing!"

Liesl laughed, the first time Georg had heard her do so since their fight. "There was no kissing, Father, don't worry. It's just a metaphor."

"It better stay that way for at least a few more years." Liesl laughed again, squeezing him tightly.

"You set an impossible standard, you know," she remarked as they pulled apart and started down toward the music room.

"I have complete faith that all of my daughters will find good, decent men one day. It just may take awhile, and that is fine with me," Georg joked.

Liesl shook her head. "That's not what I meant. We don't just want good, decent men—we want men like you, men who are brave and honorable and kind. Men who will love us like you loved both our mothers. Men who know what it means to sacrifice and are willing to do whatever is necessary for the sake of their family. You have shown us just what a husband can be, and I don't think any of us will settle for anything less than that, but it seems like there are not many men like you out there."

Georg paused his steps, turning to look at his daughter's earnest face. "Oh, Liesl," he told her, brushing her hair off her forehead. "You are still quite young, my dear. There is plenty of time to find the right man for you. And before you put me on a pedestal, you of all people should know I have my share of faults." Flashes of that night on the street, the cool metal of the gun in his hand, went through Georg's mind, but he pushed them back.

"And yet you have found ways to overcome them and come out stronger because of them." Liesl's eyes were earnest, and Georg's heart clenched as he realized that she believed whole-heartedly in what she was saying. He was not sure he deserved such adoration, but it certainly felt good. It also gave him a new resolve to continue to strive to be a better man, to find ways to keep his principles despite his work.

"One day, you will find a young man who acts the same," Georg promised. "But perhaps while you are looking, you can bring any young man who catches your interest to meet your mother and I before pursuing anything."

"That is probably a good idea. Though you will have to promise to tone down the naval commander persona a bit. I would prefer not to have all potential suitors scared away before I have a chance to get to know them."

"So no sword then?"

"Save that for Louisa. I feel that any man who manages to get that close to her may need a stronger form of persuasion." At that, Georg threw back his head and laughed.

A/N: Rolf will likely not play a large role in other fics in this universe (for those that have read the first couple chapters of Moments of Escape, you know that he's not in that since their escape is much different), so I apologize for any Rolf/Liesl lovers out there-I will probably eventually give Liesl a different love interest, but the family has to settle somewhere first. I had sketched this out originally as the Liesl-centric story but as you can see, I added quite a bit of character development for Maria and Georg as well, in particular the start of Maria wrestling with her faith and the fact that she loves Georg who sometimes does some morally grey things. This will set up future chapters of Moments of Escape as well (including the next one which should be published in the next couple days). And I know that I've done some pretty heavy chapters lately; I do plan to do a couple lighter ones soon, more similar to Brigitta's, since they're a nice break for me.