Kuon is ignoring me. I woke up this morning and he immediately jumped out of bed and ran out of the room without saying a word to me. It's not as if this was the first time he's fallen asleep in bed with me but he seemed annoyed when I asked him about it in front of his parents and Yashiro-san at breakfast. He glared at me after I asked why he had rushed out this morning then he pushed his plate of uneaten food away and stood up calmly excusing himself. He's been in his home office ever since. As a result he missed Kuu-san's brunch and the lunch the kitchen staff made. Then there was Julie-san's post-lunch snack and the pastries they had sent Yashiro-san out to buy.
It is now supper time and I am alone in the dining room. Julie-san had to catch a plane after lunch for a modeling job and Kuu-san is shooting a commercial. I have no clue where Yashiro-san is. Maybe he went home for the night. Though I'm not sure if he has a family to go home to. I hope he isn't eating dinner alone. I have Rick to keep me company. My baby gurgles gently from his place in his bassinet beside me. I push my food around my plate wishing the kitchen staff would have let me eat in the kitchen with them.
"This is how it's supposed to be. Just you and me." I say aloud though I know Rick doesn't understand me. "This is probably what life will be like very soon anyway. We'll have to leave eventually. I'll never be able to find a place half as nice as this. We could make it work though. I'll work hard and get us a small room somewhere."
The thought of my sweet boy growing up in a single room depresses me. It hurts even more to think that I'll most likely be at work all day and he will be home alone. He'll have to learn to be self-sufficient at a young age while keeping up with his schoolwork. The kids at school will make fun of him and he'll be all alone. I'll be no help at all. I can see that cold dark room with two shabby futons and a single table for us to eat our meager meals alone. He'd probably be in bed by the time I got home every night. I look around at the immense finery that is the Hizuri dining room. I bet the oak table cost two years worth of rent for my shabby make believe room. I couldn't even afford one month of rent. I couldn't even afford the picture frame encasing the newly framed photos of Tina's birthday on the wall. My eyes take in the sight of me as Tina posing with the family.
"Tina-san, what should I do? I can't be you forever." I say feeling my heart sink. "We can't stay here forever."
Rick coos and I look down at my plate. I could never give him the life he deserves. I sigh and push the food on my plate around. I better eat it before it gets cold. I flick my eyes to the empty chair across from me and the plate of food in front of it. I can see our empty little shack so clearly it hurts. Cold and desolate with just the two of us and our meager possessions. Meanwhile Kuon will be here ignoring the luxury of eating three meals a day. I bet that man plans on going to bed with nothing but bottled water in his stomach again. How can someone who has all of this be so wasteful? Suddenly angry, I stand up and seize Kuon's plate. With Rick tucked into the crook of one arm and Kuon's food balanced in my other hand I march to Kuon's office and thud the plate against the door. The man refuses to go to his parents' Christmas party. He doesn't eat. He barely spends time with the family who adores him and when he does spend time with us he's grumpy and mean. Rich jerk doesn't appreciate what he has.
There is no answer. Biting my lip I knock the plate against the door a little harder. Did Kuon leave when I wasn't looking? He couldn't have. I've been checking on him all day to see if he was hungry. He was just in there earlier barking at me to leave him alone.
"Kuon-san?" I say his name loudly. "Kuon-san, I have your dinner."
Maybe he went up to his room. But I think I would have noticed if he had. The sound of his footsteps is different to everyone else's. It's a mixture of Julie-san's effortlessly elegant glide and Kuu-san's refined stride. He must still be in there because I haven't heard him walking around since the last time he came out to grab a bottle of water. I knock again, growing agitated. He has to eat something. The kitchen staff worked so hard to make this for him.
"Kuon-san, I'm coming in and you're eating dinner."
"You're annoying." His grouchy voice says as the door opens. He reaches his hands out but instead of taking the plate I offer to him, he takes Rick. "Hi. Hi." He coos holding my baby close to his face.
"You haven't eaten anything all day." I say holding his plate up. Strangely, I don't feel annoyed with him anymore.
He lets out a deep sigh and walks out of his office brushing past me. I pause for a moment confused but then follow him back to the dining room. He hasn't looked at me since opening the door but he takes his seat and motions for me to set down his plate.
"I can take the baby." I say as I set his plate in front of him. He continues to ignore me even as he starts to eat his food with my baby still in his arms. "Fine, be rude." At least he's eating.
We eat in silence. I poke at my food wanting to ask him what he's been up to all. Maybe it's a good time to bring up the Christmas party again. Julie-san has been pretty sad that he won't be there. She asked if I could convince him to go for her but I don't know how to do that. He won't even talk to me today. How do I start up a conversation when he's in one of his moods?
"Why are you staring at me?" Kuon asks, startling me.
I look away from him and say, "I'm not staring at you."
"Yes you were." He says. "Eat your food. You're getting too skinny."
I touch my stomach. Easy for him to say with his perfectly toned muscles. What would he know about baby fat? He's one to talk anyway. When was the last time he ate anything?
"Kyoko, eat." He says and I jump out of my seat to look around for a staff member who might have heard him.
"Shh! You can't call me that." I hiss at him.
"Eat." He says and his eyes connect with mine for the first time today. He looks away quickly and coughs into his hand. Is he catching a cold? "The cook didn't do a bad job today." He says after an awkward pause.
"He never does a bad job. You're just picky." I say and the corners of his mouth lift slightly.
"I know, I'm an abnormality in this household. Rick had the same appetite as our parents. I wonder if Tina-san did as well." he says and I have to look around again.
"Are you trying to get me caught?" I ask. If so it would be easier if he just told his parents. Saying my name and referring to Tina-san as a separate person is too much for my heart to bear.
"I'm the only one here. The staff have gone home for the night. They have families too, you know." He says but I don't know how he can know that.
I tiptoe over to the kitchen to peek in. It's empty. They have cleaned up everything and left without me noticing. I throw Kuon a look because how did he know they were gone already? He chuckles and once again our eyes meet. He doesn't look away this time and my heart jumps. Those beautiful green eyes hold me captive.
"I sent Chiharu-san a text to let everyone go home for the night. It's just the two of us here and I think you're more comfortable taking care of yourself. They should be with their families." He says finally breaking the weird spell and looking away from me. "Eat your food."
I shiver as I take my seat, unable to disobey. It's like he's a demon and I am his poor victim helplessly obeying his commands. I sneak glances at him as I eat my food. He's so weird. He's avoidant of his perfectly loving family but he sent the staff home early so they could be with their families. He even considered my comfort but he's been ignoring me all day. Was that just because I was pestering him about the Christmas party all day yesterday?
"I'm sorry." I apologize quickly, bowing to him and accidentally smashing my forehead into my food.
The sound of his laughter is both irritating and refreshing. I wipe off my forehead and glare at him but he's smiling at me. I feel my face soften at his expression.
"I'm sorry for pestering you so much about the Christmas party." I say and his brow furrows.
"You don't have to apologize for that. Especially not twice. I know Julie put you up to it." He says with a gentle smile still on his face.
If that's the case why have you been ignoring me all day? I want to ask but that might annoy him all over again. I like it much more when he's happy and willing to interact with me.
"You're staring at me again." He says and my cheeks sting with embarrassment.
"Sorry."
"Eat." He commands as he picks up his half empty plate and heads into the kitchen.
What is wrong with me? I need to stop staring at him. Wait a minute! I'm annoyed with him. He needs to learn to eat properly and appreciate what he has. Though I can understand when he skips the meals Julie-san and kuu-san prepare. One makes strange creations and the other makes too much. Still he shouldn't exile himself from us so much.
"Why do you look so sad?" He asks, startling me.
I look up at him wondering why I feel so sad. He comes over to my side of the table and takes a seat setting something next to my plate. Rick is tucked safely into the crook of Kuon's arm. His little face looks so serene.
"Eat that if you're done with your dinner." he says gesturing towards what he had set down.
I look to see a slice of chocolate cake. It looks utterly decadent. I really should finish my dinner but Kuon-san brought the cake out just for me. He went into the kitchen and thought of food. Not just any food but a rich triple tier chocolate cake smothered in chocolate frosting with cute dark and white chocolate curls on top.
"Go on, don't just stare at it." Kuon says and I watch as he picks up a fork to cut into the tip of my cake. He brings the fork to my lips.
My cheeks feel hot and tingly. What is this man doing?
"Say ah."
I open my mouth automatically and he feeds me the cake. Somehow this feels weird. My stomach feels tingly and warm like when he kisses me. I can feel my cheeks burning as he cuts off another piece of cake and lifts the fork to my mouth. I swallow the first piece and open my mouth again. Why does the look in his eyes make me squirm? It's so embarrassing. He sets the fork down and catches my chin in his hand. I let him pull my face close and he kisses the corner of my mouth.
"I don't think I've ever wanted cake so badly." He whispers and his nose brushes mine.
Hot! I feel so hot. He smiles at me and backs away. I lick my lips and his eyes seem to follow my tongue. I think he's going to kiss me again. I lean in closer but Kuon stands up and coos at my baby.
"Let's go watch some cartoons and let mommy eat." He says as though the baby can understand.
I am dumbfounded as I watch the two of them leave.
"Eat, Kyoko!" Kuon shouts when I stand up to follow them.
Annoyed, I sit back down and pick up the fork. I imagine that it is still warm from his touch and for some reason that makes my cheeks tingle. I take a bite of cake and feel my blush spread as I recall the look in his eyes when he was feeding me. What is wrong with me?
A/N
I'm so so sorry it's taken forever for me to update and it's short, hopefully it was good. A lot has happened. I was in the hospital and then I sort of lost my job but my boss found me a new one so it's all good. Anyway huge thank you to Goodtome for keeping me motivated. I really appreciate it. I have the first paragraph of the next chapter written but who knows when that will come out. I do have this coming weekend off so maybe... no promises though.
