"Hey, Kayocchi, does this make my butt look big?"
"Huh? How should I know?"
"I dunno, mind lookin' a little closer~?"
"...You got your head screwed on straight?"
"Come on _, quit bugging Kayoko already. In the first place, haven't we been here long enough?! We need to get back to work!"
"Oh fine! It's time for Kayocchi to WAKE UP anyway!"
"...What?"
"Sorry, Kayoko, but I guess even idiots can be right once a day. Wake up already!"
"Hey, seriously, what the hell are you two-"
"Waaaaaake UUUUP!" Mutsuki shouted, having scooted over right up to Kayoko's ear with cupped hands to her mouth. Naturally, from Aru's panicked expressions and Duke's sigh of quiet resignation, nobody believed that this was a good idea. Nobody except Mutsuki, who decided to donate her single brain cell to charity, and Haruka, who was out like a log.
The former two were, unfortunately, correct: Kayoko drove her elbow into Mutsuki's gut with frightening speed as she jerked awake, causing the smaller girl to collapse onto the bench with an agonized wheeze before rolling off with a clank.
After the rest Problem Solvers had reunited within Schale's walls, Duke laid out the situation as soon as they were cleaned up and had some food in them. Despite some initial reservations regarding Trinity's relationship with Gehenna (which made Duke's blood boil; if any two-bit racist thugs wanted to take it up with him or his girls, he'd send 'em packing like a buncha hikers), Problem Solvers 68 agreed to take on the job of both escorting Sensei and rescuing a student (or students) in unknown yet perilous conditions. Of course, not without pay: aside from the dinner he owed them, he was now obligated to...take them to see a movie coming out soon. He personally thought it wasn't a square deal, but was also left with a fuzzy feeling as he realized that yeah, they knew that too.
They agreed to never do dirty work pro bono, but they also intended to answer respect with respect in kind. Damn, what badasses.
Thus, with everything squared away, Duke made sure they packed up, got a Schale transport copter to use, charted a course for several hours, and had everyone roll out. The going was smooth for the first two hours-
"What...?" Kayoko heaved, looking around the cabin with a wild glint in her eyes. "What the fuck...?!"
"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Aru blubbered, looking the farthest from being the boss and more like Haruka as she fearfully clutched Duke-sensei. "I tried to tell her that it was a bad idea, but you know how she gets when she's in 'The Mood'! Don't hurt uuuus!"
"T-The flight ih-hhhh-s so boring..." Mutsuki groaned, still curled up on the floor like a roly-poly. "N-Needed to do something...!"
-until Mutsuki got bored, had no outlets, and also needled Aru for the first hour anyway.
"Then just take a nap or wait like a normal person, you goddamn gremlin," Kayoko irritably huffed, leaning back against the wall with her hands shoved into her pockets. Duke Nukem, former badass soldier and ladies' man, sighed like a single father with three little kids and leaned forward. He figured that her foul mood was pretty justified, but carefully pulled Aru off of his arm to plod over to Kayoko anyway.
"You alright, kid?" Duke whispered, having bent down to reach her ear.
"Yeah, I'm...fine," the Section Chief muttered, glancing down at her knees. "Just saw a few people I didn't think I'd see again in my dreams, s'all...not actually all that pissed at Mutsuki, or anything."
Eyes widening at her admission, Duke let out a gentle breath and shook his head. "And here I thought this ol' fossil was the only guy who'd go through that. Well, you know I always got time for ya, so if ya feel like talkin' about it, gimme a ring."
"...Yeah," Kayoko finally smiled and looked up at him, red eyes aglow with adoration. "Thanks, Dad."
Delivered so casually, the line didn't sink in for anyone inside that helicopter for a few seconds. Slowly, as if they were trying their best not to startle an apex predator, the two conscious members of Problem Solvers and Duke turned to stare at her.
"...Someone say something," Kayoko growled, red to her ears and natural scowl cranked up to twelve. "Right now."
"I'm not pushing my luck," Mutsuki shook her head, completely genuine as she hopped up and slid into her seat. "The intrusive thoughts beckon me to say 'something', but I already got burned like seven minutes ago. There's really no need to take the easy path in signing my death warrant."
Aru laughed hysterically and glued her face to the window. "W-Wow, I can't believe I didn't notice that, erm, th-that cloud before! It looks like a boot if you squint a little (actually a lot)! D-Don't you think so, Haruka?!"
At the sound of her name, the girl in question awoke with a snort and frantically looked around. "Wuh-! I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry, what's happening?!"
Duke couldn't respond, stone-still in his seat with a smile on his face as he mentally slapped five with Arona.
"Uh, I hate to ruin your guys' fun," the pilot radioed in, "but we've got clearance to land in Trinity's airfield. Grab your stuff, freshen up, and get ready to meet the delegation in five!"
"A hundred yen says their faces scrunch up like this," Mutsuki demonstrated a disgusted expression, "when they see us comin' out after Duke-sensei."
Aru daintily shrugged her shoulders, dignified mask in place as she hefted her sniper rifle over her shoulder. "We're here for a job, so we don't have to care about what they think. Besides, we have Sensei's support."
"I-I'll try not to embarrass anyone..." Haruka quivered, holding her shotgun to her chest, and Kayoko gently pet her back.
"Don't worry about it and stick to us. If they harass you anyway, just come running and we'll resolve it, okay?"
"Okay...t-thank you..."
Patting the back of Haruka's head, Duke stepped up in front of Aru and tugged at his fingerless gloves. "All goes according to plan, I'll be the guy they speak to anyway. If they give any one 'a you trouble, send 'em to Duke. They'll head back to the dorms with some needed respect and a fresh perspective."
"We can handle ourselves when it comes to the riffraff," Aru nodded, "but thank you anyway, Sensei. Get through introductions first, we will reveal ourselves afterwards."
"Oof, am I not lookin' forward to this..."
"I'll follow your lead, Lady Aru! Duke-sensei!"
"Mmhm."
The helicopter touched down with a heavy thud, rotors gradually slowing down and cutting the noise.
It's showtime.
As Duke opened the door and stepped out, the first thing he saw was the bright sunlight of late afternoon reflecting off white tile. While the airfield was fairly empty, he did notice a gigantic gothic cathedral-style building right in front of it, with student workers milling in and out like ants. Some had even stopped to peer curiously at him.
Holy crap, he thought as he stepped out to meet the group of Trinity girls, Shittim Chest tucked comfortably under an arm. With an emphasis on holy. You got enough white here to fill a 70's suburb.
"Good day to you, Sensei." The girl in front bobbed a proper curtsey to him. "I speak on behalf of all of Trinity when I say that I am honored to see that you have decided visit our school before all others."
"Ah, well, it's an honor to be here," Duke casually fired back, slightly bowing his head to her. "The name's Duke Nukem, Sensei and head member 'a the Federal Investigation Club: Schale. Might I get the names 'a the lovely ladies I'll be speaking to?"
"Aww, what a charmer!" a girl behind her squealed, pink hair bobbing excitedly. "Me! Me! I'll go fir-"
"My name is Kirifuji Nagisa, one of three presidents of the Tea Party. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sensei."
"Booo, Nagi-chan!" the girl huffed and puffed, her cheeks like an angry squirrel. "I wanted to go first, you thief!"
Nagisa's eye twitched, and Duke almost felt a little bad for her. "Mika, please."
"And now you ruined the mystique! Gosh, Nagi-chan, you can be a real buzzkill! Anyway, Duke-sensei, my name is Misono Mika! It's real nice to meet'cha!"
"Uh, yeah," Duke grinned back at her. "Nice to meet ya, Mika."
"...Mika, again," Nagisa politely interjected as a nun in the background shook her head, the nurse by her side simply staring directly at Duke with a neutral expression. The black-haired woman instead stared at the helicopter as if something was wrong. "You must remember your propriety as a member of the Tea Party."
Seriously, why the hell was she staring at him so intensely? Did he have something on his face?
"Oops, sorry! I didn't mean to be so informal. Let me try again...good day, Sensei! My name is Misono Mika, another president of the Tea Party, and it is a great pleasure to see you on our hallowed grounds. Now, the third member of the Tea Party would be here, but she's not feeling too well..."
"It is a shame, but we can discuss those kinds of details later. Introductions are still on-going."
Nagisa nodded to the nun, who stepped up and bowed to Duke.
"My name is Utazumi Sakurako of the Sisterhood. May your stay in Trinity be blessed with productivity and good fortune."
"Right back at ya, sister," Duke smirked and shot her a finger gun. The delegation blankly stared it aside from Mika, who snorted and covered her mouth with a hand. Simply deciding to pretend it didn't happen, the nurse stepped up and offered a hand to Duke.
"I am Aomoi Mine of the Knights Hospitaller, and I have heard of your strength. Sensei, please let me know if I could assist in any rescue operations, thank you."
"Spirited, huh?" Duke took her hand and shook, inwardly surprised at her strength. He almost kinda felt that one. "Pleasure's all mine, Mine."
"Last, but certainly not least...!" Mika announced. The woman (what the hell she was not a goddamn student looking like that) walked up with bold strides and bowed lowly, Duke making sure to keep his eyes on her halo at all times.
"My name is Hanekawa Hasumi of the Justice Task Force. A pleasure, Sensei."
"My pleasure," Duke returned, nodding. "Now then, while I'd love to get down ta business, mind if I introduce my team? They're the protection detail I've sourced for this little visit."
"...Protection?" Nagisa raised a suspicious brow. "Is...there a mission you will be conducting in Trinity, Sensei?"
"I'll be happy to explain once we're all acquainted," Duke shrugged. "Come on out, girls."
The door to the helicopter opened once again, and Rikuhachima Aru stepped out to a-
-wave of murderous intent radiating off of-
"...A-Ah..." Aru whimpered, trying to keep the tears from her eyes from being noticeable and her knees from clacking together like a marionette. It had passed just as suddenly as it came, but what the hell was that?! "Ah, u-um, I...ahaha! My name is Rikuhachima Aru, boss of Problem Solvers 68! I-If you've got the cri-!"
Aru's mouth shut with a clack.
"...Ahem. I am charmed to meet you."
(AAAAAH I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GIVE THEM THE CRIME MOTTO! AND I SCREWED IT UP!) Internal Aru screeched, her mental landscape currently on fire. (THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED US FOR SURE! FIRST THE GSC AND NOW TRINITY, WHAT SORT OF MONSTERS ARE THEY GROWING IN KIVOTOS?! WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO...?!)
She put a hand on her chest and cleared her throat, if only to calm her frantic heart. The shadow from her bangs framing her eyes, she noted that Hasumi regarded her with veiled distaste while Nagisa, Sakurako and Mine's expressions betrayed nothing. Mika, on the other hand...
She was smiling. Just smiled and stared at her unblinkingly with those empty yellow eyes. Was that where...?
"Come on, boss!" Mutsuki happily cried as she stepped off the plane, slapping Aru on the back and causing her to jump with a squeal. "You didn't forget about us, right? Heya folks, the name's Asagi Mutsuki, Problem Solvers' Staff Chief! Hope we can get along!"
"...Charmed," Nagisa responded with a plastic grin and Mutsuki cheekily grinned at her, eyes a little too sharp and hand still on Aru's back.
Mika twitched.
It was Kayoko who stepped off the helicopter next, Haruka timidly clutching her sleeve like she was her daughter. The two took one look at Mika and their stances subtly shifted; Kayoko's face settled into a firmer frown while Haruka shied away behind her even more. This did not escape Duke's attention: had Mika been less laser-focused on the presence of the Gehenna students, she would've been able to feel the towering man's eyes on her the entire time, hidden away behinds his shades as they were.
"Onikata Kayoko, Section Chief of Problem Solvers, and this is Haruka, an employee of ours. A pleasure, I'm sure."
"More of them?"
Everyone suddenly looked to Mika, whose eyes had widened at the faux-pas. She replied to their concern with an airy laugh, and when she opened her eyes again they were no longer hollow.
"I mean, isn't this a surprise~! More students from Gehenna in our school! Ah, how fun, how fun...! Sensei...you certainly are an interesting person."
Aru swallowed, getting ready to defend her employees despite her own fears before Duke cleared his throat.
"Thank you, Mika. I hope the presence of my students won't ruffle any feathers," Duke dryly remarked, casting a stern gaze over the Trinity delegation. "I can vouch for their strength 'a character, they won't be causin' any trouble...in case anyone was concerned."
"...I did not think they would," Nagisa acquiesced, correctly realizing that this was just as sensitive an issue to him as it was them. "Well then, allow Mika and I to lead you into campus proper, Sensei. Sakurako, Hasumi, Mine, I am sure that we have taken up valuable time in your busy schedules. Thank you very much for coming."
Duke let out an approving hum, turned to look at Problem Solvers 68, and nodded. They easily fell in line behind him (and stayed that way) before the large group began moving, Mine and Sakurako eventually splitting off to different areas of campus with their own goodbyes. However, despite their size having been reduced, they somehow stood out even more to the general Trinity student population.
"Hey, that's the Tea Party...!"
"I-Isn't that the Sensei from Schale?"
"Are those Gehenna students with him...?!"
"That one has horns, so they've got to be...!"
"Ew, what the hell are they doing here?"
"A-Are they going to destroy the campus?"
"He brought those damn freaks to Trinity!"
Kayoko sped up to match Duke's unflinching stride, tugging at his sleeve and getting him to angle his head her way. "Sensei," she whispered, "did you feel that earlier?"
"Hard not to," he whispered back, staring into Hasumi's eyes as she shot them a suspicious look. Naturally, an impromptu contest between himself, Kayoko, and Hasumi could only end in the JTF vice chairwoman claiming defeat and looking away first. "It was Mika."
"Her? She looks like cotton candy and sprinkles on legs," Kayoko muttered, quickly glancing at the girl in question before coolly staring ahead.
She did. Duke would readily admit that Mika was adorable...and most likely directly styled herself to be. She tried a little too hard to be energetic and friendly, and Duke's time in office back on Earth had left him uniquely talented in spotting the masks people wore. There was something nasty festering inside of Misono Mika, and Duke wouldn't let it so much as touch his kids if he could help it.
With luck, I'll be able to do somethin' about it on our way to Atsuko, Duke thought with a grimace. And if things go to shit, she becomes an obstacle, which would really be the pits.
Being a president of the Tea Party aside, no kid should have that level of deep, violent hatred in them. Hell, feeling it reminded him of that old bastard, the Cycloid Emperor, and that fucker actually killed plenty of good people. If it came to it, he'd have to fight her: he had a sinking feeling that even the combined might of PS68 wouldn't be able to stop Mika if she got serious.
"Don't worry, Duke-sensei," Arona quietly piped up from the Shittim Chest. "I can keep an eye on her."
Through what?
"Her phone, of course. Won't take me too long to install a homebrewed data collection app, hide it behind a few dozen walls, and create a public-private dossier on Misono Mika within...oh...a couple of hours?"
...What the hell, that's kinda scary. What about her privacy?
"Hey!" Arona exclaimed, and though the Shittim Chest remained off Duke could imagine Arona pouting up a storm. "I'm not about to go for a deep dive to find lewds or anything! This is only because she's acting really weird, and I don't want you or Problem Solvers getting hurt."
Well, as long as you know, Duke gave in with a sigh. The Web's come a long way from Usenet, huh? Wrote a whole damn book about it back in the day...
"Usenet? You're so old, Duke-sensei..."
Rolling his eyes and thanking his shades for his own measure of privacy, Duke found the presidents of the Tea Party slowing down as they approached an elegant tea table, with lower-ranking members standing at attention on the opposite side. Nearly in sync, these members pulled the chairs out for Nagisa and Mika to delicately slide into place and pushed them in just as quickly.
Before any of the proceedings, Nagisa simply nodded her thanks to Hasumi. The girl cast one long look over the group from Schale and departed.
"I must apologize for the lack of seating, Sensei and...Problem Solvers," the president slightly bowed her head. "As previously mentioned, this visit is a surprise, though not an unwelcome one."
"I understand, thanks for the hospitality," Duke responded, getting a bit tired of the niceties. "Mind if I cut straight to the reason as to why we're here?"
Mika tittered into her hand. "It can't take that long, right Sensei? Come on, try a cake roll! I'm not really partial to them, but you won't get better anywhere else!"
Duke chuckled and scratched his head. "Ah, no thanks, Mika. Nothin' like leaving home on a nice meal, eh?"
Unfortunately, someone's stomach growled behind him at just the right time, and he turned to see Haruka shaking in her boots with an ashamed blush on her face. The rest of Problem Solvers looked torn between their concern for the youngest member and their rage at the Tea Party members snickering behind their backs.
"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to have gone and embarrassed everyone...to be hungry even after having Sensei's lunch...aah, I should disappear, I'm w-worth less than the dirt under your boots..."
Haruka tried to run through the breathing exercise Duke-sensei had taught her, but found the laughter behind her back too overwhelming. Her breath instead came in and out with shallow puffs and wheezes.
"Excuse me," Aru began lowly, the shadow of her bangs now properly framing the cold glint of her eyes as she looked between Nagisa and Mika. Even under Mika's subtle glare, the boss didn't budge an inch. "But I really must ask that you keep the members of your club in line. My employee's hunger is no fault of her own, and I would very much appreciate it if she was not mocked for it."
"..."
"Oh my~!" Mika cooed, "so scary! It's not like we told them to laugh, and we can't control what they do, buuuut we'll brief them later on-"
"Enough, Mika," Nagisa politely intercepted her old friend. "A failing of theirs reflects a failure of our own," she declared, loud enough to have the background members startle and stand back to attention. Daintily standing up, Nagisa swept dust off her skirt before grabbing a pair of tongs and using them to place a slice of cake on her plate. Mika sat in her seat and fought to keep an expression of downright affronted shock off her face as her childhood friend placed a fork on the plate and walked over to the stunned Problem Solvers, stopping in front of a terrified Haruka.
"Would you please accept this with my apologies, Miss Haruka?"
The girl meeped, looked at the cake, looked at Nagisa, and then finally looked to her dear Lady Aru for guidance. Upon seeing her slowly nod, Haruka accepted the plate gingerly and bowed her head.
"T-Thank you very much, Lady Nagisa. T-This is too kind...!"
Haruka took a second to marvel the slice she had been given. A vanilla base encased in chocolate frosting, complete with a small scoop of mint ice cream, chocolate flakes and two tube wafer cookies on top, made for a very picturesque piece of cake. Her stomach almost growled again at the thought of splitting it between her club members and Duke-sensei.
Nagisa giggled. "Think nothing of it, truly. We of the Tea Party must hold ourselves accountable, both for our triumphs and our deficiencies. With the Eden Treaty only months away, we must work to put aside our petty grudges and think of things larger than ourselves."
She turned to her friend and fellow President and gave her a small yet genuine smile. "Do you not agree, Mika?"
CRACK
Mika's teacup fell to the table and spilled its contents all over the tablecloth as the handle was cru- mysteriously broken between her fingers.
"...?!"
"..."
Duke and Problem Solvers looked on with bated breath.
"Excuse me," Mika simply said, eyes closed. "I am feeling unwell. Thinking of Seia-chan's health must have caused me to have a lapse in poise. Please proceed without me, thank you."
Pushing her chair out, the president dismissed herself with a stiff curtsey and walked away, the sound of heels clacking on tile echoing around her exit.
"I..." Nagisa hummed, awkwardly trailing off as she watched Mika nearly stomp off with not a look back.
"Don't worry Sensei, I've planted the app on her phone," Arona whispered, which Duke acknowledged by gripping the Shittim Chest a bit tighter. "I'll be reviewing and scrubbing the data for any extraneous information as it filters in, so be patient with me..."
"We can just...have our discussion in the near future," Duke sighed, trying his best not to be too disappointed. He could probably glean some info on Trinity and whatever was under it from Arona. "I'm sure two out of...three? Three presidents being out of the picture isn't ideal."
"Quite right," Nagisa nodded. "Does this mean you will be staying at Trinity for the time being?"
"Yeah. It's a great place, so I hope you don't mind if we see the sights."
"That sounds lovely," Nagisa bowed her head. "You will have no problems on our campus," the pointed implication clear to the rest of the members, "so feel free to enjoy yourselves within reason."
"...Thank you for your hospitality, Lady Nagisa," Aru stepped up and nodded in respect to the girl as the groups made to part. "And thank you for taking care of my employee. Problem Solvers 68 will not forget that act of kindness."
"Think nothing of it," Nagisa smiled. "Perhaps your presence can be a...symbol of reconciliation, in the coming days."
Despite inwardly screaming at the responsibility that was now set upon their shoulders, Aru gave the president of the Tea Party a smug grin. "Quite an undertaking...one that Problem Solvers 68 shall relish with aplomb. We bid you good day."
With that, Aru, Duke and Problem Solvers promptly turned and made to walk further into campus. Staying behind, Haruka shot Nagisa a shy smile and bowed again, making sure to keep the plate at a steady angle, before...
...
Before finding that she had lost her group on the Schale field trip. Both girls (and the faceless members of the Tea Party, who were careful not to visibly react this time) stood there awkwardly at the realization that the rest of the Problem Solvers and Duke had somehow disappeared around a corner without any of them bothering to see which one.
Nagisa looked toward the members at attention, but all she got was a silent shrug back. Her mouth twitched.
Haruka looked toward the members at attention, looked back at Nagisa, and began shaking so hard that her beret was bouncing around on her head.
"U-Um, ah," Haruka stammered, gaze towards the ground, "D-D-Don't worry about me, Lady Nagisa. Not that you would. N-Not that I do either. I'll just...um...t-take in the fresh air! Aha...a-ahahaha...!"
Nagisa felt the startling urge to accompany the girl as if she were a lost child at a mall, but carefully squashed the feeling and nodded. She had her own responsibilities, after all, and Haruka was both a valued member of Schale and armed as all students were. While she would like for this incident to pass without any complication, she had vague confidence that the young member of PS68 would be perfectly fine if something did arise.
"Very well then. If...you do need assistance, please go to the Justice Task Force club room, give them Sensei's phone number and wait patiently, okay?"
Letting out a garbled reply that might have sounded like "okay thank you" if you tried hard enough, Haruka stumbled off and rounded a random corner to try and find her family. Would she run into thugs on the way there? Was she allowed to whack them on Trinity property? No, it would be fine, Haruka told herself. She could definitely find them before they forgot about her and she starved to death after eating this cake.
Or at least she would have, had she not almost immediately stopped herself from bumping into someone. Leaping back with a shriek, Haruka impressively enough managed to keep a handle on the plate as she began belting out her usual apologies to the girl.
"Whoa, whoa, it's alright," she put her hands up in an attempt to soothe the frantic stranger, realizing that they were making a scene. "You good?"
"N-N-No...!" Haruka whimpered, looking all the more like a miserable purple puppy.
"Oh." The girl replied awkwardly, feline ears flat to her head. After a couple of seconds of staring at each other, the girl looked down at her slice of cake and cleared her throat.
"Um, so. Mint, huh? Looks good, I know a club member who would have loved to dig into that, heh. I'm...part of the After-School Sweets Club."
"A sweets club...? T-That sounds nice..." Haruka muttered, before jolting. "Oh, uh, m-my name is Igusa Haruka. I'm sorry that someone like me almost bumped into you..."
"Someone 'like you'?" the girl's head tilted, her ears twitching. "You seem fine to me. Well, look, my name is Kyouyama Kazusa. You seem a little lost..."
"I am..."
Taking another look at the skittish girl, Kazusa sighed. It should be fine; that 'stalker' of hers didn't show her face at all today, and her clubmates probably wouldn't mind the new girl joining for a session if she brought some sweets with her. In fact, if Haruka liked mint, then she'd probably get along with Airi just fine, and everyone loved Airi.
Shaking her head, Kazusa smiled. "Would you like to come with me and wait for your friends with my club?"
A/N: This was a bit of a talky chapter, I know. End notes on AO3, etc. et al.
The backlog grows shorter!
