A/N: YAY, A NEW UPDATE!
This will be the last installment of the Kamui parts, so to those of you who are sick and tired of this, you can rejoice! However, this will not be the last that you will see of Kamui, so... sorry about that. I love him and I want him to make Sasuke happy, at least for a little while.
Regardless, in the next chapter, we will be back to the main story line.
I'm sorry that this chapter is gigantic, but please bear with me.
Also, I'm sorry that it's not betaed and that you will surely find horrendous typos.
On with the show!
From Which We'll Rise
Part XXXIV: Endō Kamui VII
The night's events weighed upon them, yet as Sasuke and Kamui set down to sleep side by side in their makeshift beds on the floor of the humble house, there was also a sense of fulfillment and relief. Kamui was still quiet and introspective, but he seemed considerably calmer.
They had made it home safely, their mission accomplished, and Sasuke found that he had no mental energy left to think about what he had done or to wallow in unnecessary feelings anymore. Perhaps later he would, but for now, he was so sore everywhere that he just wanted to black out and recover as soon as possible.
He would be home soon, and that was all that mattered.
With their backs to each other but feeling some comfort in each other's warmth, they fell asleep.
When Sasuke woke up the next day, it was already late afternoon, and there was so much noise outside because of the children playing, running, and bickering that he wondered how he'd manage to sleep so heavily through it. His muscles were rigid and tired, but he wouldn't complain because he was completely unharmed, and that was a blessing.
Kamui was nowhere to be seen, and his sleeping mattress had already been put away. Sasuke heaved a sigh, hoping that the guy was alright.
A little too slowly, he neatly folded his mattress and covers as well and put them in a box under the window before heading outside.
It was a beautiful sunny day, and the children greeted him with waves of their hands or happy screeches of 'good morning, sleepyhead!', completely oblivious to what had transpired the previous night.
Yui was sitting under a tree, reading a book, and supervising the youngest children. Her eyes looked away from the book to acknowledge Sasuke before offering him a solemn, knowing nod.
Sasuke nodded back.
"You're up early," Oi said, making her way to Sasuke with her usual grumpy frown. He wondered if she was being honest or sarcastic, but she was already shooing him back inside the house before he could say anything. "Go get some clean clothes and take a shower. I left some on the counter; you probably didn't see it. I'll have some food ready for you on the table outside when you're done."
"Don't you need my help?" Sasuke asked, a little taken aback. "Is there something I can do now? I didn't do anything this morning."
"Nonsense," she dismissed, patting his back with too much force, yet Sasuke knew by now that it was affectionate. "You had a rough night; you deserve to rest today."
"There's no way I can," Sasuke complained, feeling guilty as he turned to her.
"Of course, you can!" Oi persisted firmly. "You can help with dinner if you want. Until then, relax a little, child."
Clenching his teeth, Sasuke all but nodded, not wanting to have a beef with the tough old lady. "Alright, thank you," he acquiesced with a small, grateful bow. He straightened up again. "Where's Kamui?"
"He left this morning, but I don't think he's very far," Oi mumbled, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "He'll be back; you don't need to worry about him."
"Right."
Just as Sasuke was about to turn on his heels and head back inside as he was told, Oi's voice stopped him.
"I know what you two did yesterday," she said evenly, her brown eyes gazing firmly into Sasuke's. "A stranger should not have taken up such a burden upon himself. I cannot thank you enough for bringing honor to our clan, and we will be very sad to see you leave. Kamui, especially."
This time, it was she who bowed down, which made Sasuke feel unexpectedly emotional.
"You don't need to thank me," he replied gently. "I care about all of you, so I'm glad I had the chance to do something for you. I'm very grateful for the hospitality."
Oi straightened her back and offered Sasuke a small smile. He could see there were unshed tears in her eyes. "Off you go, child. I will have the food ready in a few minutes."
With a nod, Sasuke headed back inside.
000
The sun had just started to set when Sasuke decided to take a stroll through the large area that was occupied by Kamui and his family, and he'd gotten far enough to not see the house anymore or hear the children.
The events of the previous night hadn't plagued his mind yet because he had been busy helping with a few tasks and spending time with the kids. They were perfectly unaware of the fact that their lives would change soon, which was a good thing for now.
Regardless, now that Sasuke had some time alone, he found that he didn't have any particular feelings about what he had done. There was relief and a sense of accomplishment, but other than that, it all felt like a distant memory or an occurrence experienced by someone else.
Justice had been served.
The memories were alive in his mind, though, and he knew he wouldn't forget them for as long as he lived. However, remorse was not something he felt.
Perhaps he was honestly more concerned about Kamui than anything else.
It was pressing that he leave soon, but for the moment, he needed to make sure that everything ran smoothly for the Endō family—or as smoothly as possible, all things considered. Even if the prospect of parting ways with them was harder to embrace than he had anticipated, he kept firmly telling himself that he knew it was coming and that his job was done. Life moved on.
There was no guarantee that Kamui would accept what he had to offer.
While he hadn't exactly planned on looking for Kamui, Sasuke's mismatched eyes did unavoidably end up casually searching his surroundings just in case he was nearby.
Granted, he did end up finding the man about fifteen minutes away from the house, slouched on the ground with his back against a tree trunk. His legs were stretched out in front of him, a hand was on his stomach, and his head was slightly tilted to the side. Sasuke held his breath and approached him carefully to find him sleeping, silent and still as usual, but there was a steady rise and fall to his chest.
A water canteen could be seen on his right side next to his thigh, as well as a small satchel. Sasuke's katana and other weapons belonging to both of them were resting on the other side of the tree trunk over a sheet, perfectly clean, sharpened, and polished.
Kamui's long hair hadn't been tied that day and it looked a bit messier than usual, but he somehow seemed peaceful, even though exhaustion was evident in his handsome features.
Releasing the breath that he'd been holding, Sasuke silently kneeled next to him with his back straight before closing his eyes, intent on meditating while his friend slept.
The last rays of the sun were barely visible when Kamui finally stirred from his slumber with a small noise. Sasuke opened his eyes to watch him and adjusted to a straighter sitting position, groaning slightly in pain before stretching his muscular arms over his head slowly.
As he lowered them, he too opened his eyes and immediately landed them hazily on Sasuke, apparently not surprised to see him there.
"Good evening," Sasuke greeted evenly, with a curt tilt of his head.
"Good evening," Kamui replied with a tired sigh. He took a hair band that was around his wrist and lazily combed his hair with his fingers so it wasn't messy anymore before making a new ponytail. "How long have you been sitting there?"
"Less than an hour," Sasuke informed, simply observing the man. "It wasn't my intention to bother you, but I was taking a walk and found you here, so I wanted to make sure you were alright."
"Why do you sound like you're giving me an excuse for sitting here?" Kamui said, offering him a small smile.
"I'm not; I just thought you might prefer to be alone," Sasuke explained, frowning a little.
"Well, I woke up early so I've spent enough time by myself already," Kamui said, crossing his legs Indian style. "I appreciate your concern, though, and am glad you're here. You're a good friend."
Sasuke's first reaction was to say that they weren't friends because easy banter was common between them, yet he was able to bite down on his tongue because it wasn't true. They had become friends and both knew it, and Sasuke didn't want to deny it and risk hurting the man's feelings when he was in such a fragile emotional state.
Resolutely, he closed his mouth and didn't reply.
Rummaging through his satchel, Kamui took out some chopsticks wrapped up in a clean cloth and a bento box. When he opened the box, Sasuke saw several vegetables, rice, and beautifully cut fried egg (leftovers from the previous night's dinner), and for some reason, it filled him with another wave of relief because the man had been sensible enough to pack food, too, so he was not in a state of mind to neglect himself.
What am I even thinking? Sasuke thought to himself, a little ashamed of himself. Was he worrying about Kamui by thinking he was weaker than he was?
"Share with me?" Kamui suggested extending the bento towards him so he could see it. Again, Sasuke considered declining since he wasn't hungry, but something in him made him nod, just to be polite.
"Sure." Accepting the bento, he placed it on his lap. Kamui set the lid aside over the satchel and carefully unwrapped the chopsticks, extending them to him while still on the fabric. It felt oddly ritualistic, which was strange and a little ridiculous, but such a Kamui thing that Sasuke dismissed how funny it was.
He reached for the chopsticks and helped himself to a bit of egg. He put it in his mouth carefully before returning the chopsticks to Kamui. As he chewed, he gestured with a hand that he didn't want more. The man nodded, setting the bento on his lap too, and helping himself.
There was a strange seriousness about Kamui, but he didn't seem particularly distraught, as if the previous night's events were long gone and he had no room for any further emotion related to them.
"How are you feeling?" Sasuke couldn't hold back the question anymore, but Kamui didn't seem affected.
"I'm as right as I can be, Sasuke," the eldest one replied with a small shrug. "I don't have time to think about how I feel, do I?"
"It doesn't mean you shouldn't," Sasuke contradicted. "We're here now. You do have time, even if just a little bit. I'm here."
Kamui glanced at him with an inscrutable look in his eyes. "I'm fine; you don't need to worry," he assured him, looking down at his bento. "Frankly, I don't know how to feel, so all things considered, that's a good thing. It's just another day."
Sasuke nodded his understanding because he felt the same way. There was an odd peacefulness now that it was over and they were safe.
"I didn't get to thank you properly yesterday," Kamui started, absently rearranging grains of rice with his chopsticks. "So, thank you. You did so much more than you had to, and I can't ever repay you for having my back like that. And I'm sorry for sending you away, but it had to be done."
"I'm still pissed at you for that, but you came out alive, so I'll leave it at that," Sasuke muttered. "And you don't need to thank me. Our business is complete, and that's all there is to it. You owe me nothing."
"You know that will never be true, no matter how much you say it."
Again, Sasuke was going to make some dismissive remarks but decided against them.
Instead, he took a deep breath and pressed his lips together. A small, barely perceptible smile appeared on the corner of Kamui's mouth but he said nothing.
For a few minutes, they sat in silence as the older man ate slowly, as if time didn't matter to him.
Because it was getting too dark, Sasuke gathered a few sticks on the ground around him and made a small fire in front of them just so they could see each other clearly while they were there. Kamui watched his every move like a hawk, but by now Sasuke was used to it, so he didn't feel quite as self-conscious as he used to.
At some point, Sasuke met Kamui's gaze. "What are you thinking?" he asked, not uncomfortable with the silence but needing to know what was going through his mind now that everything was about to change.
There was still food in the bento that Kamui was struggling to finish, so he set it aside over his satchel, covering it so no bugs would get in. Kamui cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning the back of his head against the tree trunk and looking up at the foliage above.
"I suppose I'm just feeling sad for several reasons," he admitted quietly. "But it's not as if that's something I want to talk about right now, or maybe ever."
"Does any of that have something to do with me?" Sasuke asked, gauging Kamui's reaction. The man smirked without looking at him.
"You think too highly of yourself, Uchiha-sama. As if I have nothing else to think about in my life," he muttered, shaking his head. However, the smirk quickly disappeared from his lips. "Don't be cruel by asking questions to which you know the answer."
Biting down on his lower lip, Sasuke's eyes narrowed as his heart constricted painfully because he understood what Kamui meant without needing to say it openly. The intensity of Sasuke's feelings just then and the things that he knew he must do ate at him.
"If I asked you to come with me, would you?"
It was said firmly and clearly; there was no way Kamui could not have heard it.
The man jumped slightly and looked at Sasuke, his eyes comically wide, as if that were the last thing he'd ever hear coming from Sasuke's mouth. "Come with you?" he said, and his voice faltered in surprise. "What are you…"
"I don't mean just you; I meant all of you," Sasuke clarified with an embarrassed frown, so as not to be misinterpreted.
Now that he thought about it, it sounded like he was suggesting they elope or something.
"All eighteen of us?" Kamui repeated it as if it didn't make sense inside his head. "Where to?"
"Yes, and you'd be coming to my village; I'm sure you've seen it while you were stalking me," Sasuke said. "Well, it's not my village, but you know. It's very underdeveloped, and life won't be easy, but it's a community, and you'd have a home, food, and people to help you with the kids. There's a sort of teaching system, too, and we're growing slowly. I could use some help with that. They could also use a proper doctor."
Kamui's chin had fallen. He wasn't even blinking as he stared wide-eyed at Sasuke, who cleared his throat before clarifying because he sounded stupid, presuming Kamui would want to stay forever.
" Or not . It's not much but at least it's safe for a while. You can stay indefinitely or... well, even if you want to leave at some point, it's fine. At least you'd have something until you got your shit together," Sasuke muttered, scratching his neck awkwardly because Kamui's look was embarrassing. "You don't have to accept, of course; I just thought I should put this possibility on the table because it was eating me up inside, and I…"
"We'll go," Kamui agreed without missing a beat. Sasuke rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks reddening.
"At least fucking think about it for a second!" he snapped, frankly a little surprised by the quick decision-making.
"I don't need to think about it," Kamui said, shaking his head with such conviction that it took Sasuke off guard. "I can't stay here, but I have no place to go and my priority is to keep my family safe. You're the only person I trust at this point, and if you tell me you can give them that security and freedom, Sasuke, I will follow you to the pits of hell if I have to."
"Don't be so dramatic," Sasuke dismissed between clenched teeth, more than a little upset at the turmoil of emotions Kamui's reaction caused in him.
"It's not being dramatic; I'm stating a fact," Kamui defended empathically, twisting his body so he could face Sasuke better, a serious and determined frown marking his forehead as his dark eyes locked with his. "You're giving me the chance to choose a life where I don't need to go down a different path from yours. I can walk beside you and still provide a safe home for my family. There's nothing to think about. I am grateful and I will follow you blindly no matter where you go and will help you with everything and anything you might need."
Kamui bit down on his lower lip, his expressive eyes watering, and there truly was such a depth of gratefulness that Sasuke wanted to recoil, unable to process the man's expression. "Even if I have nothing else to offer you in return, at least trust that you'll have me no matter what."
"I would never bind you to me in such a way, Kamui; it's not what this is about," Sasuke muttered. His heart felt heavy. "I already told you that you owe me nothing and I mean it. I would never force you to do something you don't want to do."
"I know." Kamui's voice shook and he swallowed. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands, looking tired and a little lost. "You won't ever have to. I will bind myself to you willingly. You know that."
Sasuke hesitated for a few awkward seconds before reaching out to him and putting a hand over his bent head, hoping to offer some form of sympathy or, well, whatever it was that the man could need at the moment. "Aren't you being a little too impulsive?" he asked carefully. "Come on, you're not going to cry, are you? You're so embarrassing sometimes."
"I have seen your village, Sasuke; I know what you're offering, and... it's just a lot to take in all of a sudden," Kamui confessed, without raising his head, and he did sound tired, and so heartbreakingly relieved Sasuke didn't know what else to do.
"Are you alright?" Sasuke couldn't help but ask. Despite his better judgment, he caressed the top of the man's head reassuringly.
With a sigh and a dissimulated sniff, Kamui nodded. "Yes," he said softly. "Just tell me what to do and we'll leave."
000
Yui, Oi, and the children were all excited to leave with Sasuke, which was a relief. Some of the kids were a little in awe and scared because that old house and those protected lands were all they knew, and this was the first time since the massacre that they would be leaving to see the real world.
Regardless, they had to be quick to avoid trouble. While Kamui prepared everything for their journey, Sasuke sneaked inside Jōmae to try to understand what was being said about the compound's destruction and found out that it had brought a lot of trouble considering most of the agricultural commerce in the village depended on Dazai's trade.
While people talked about the outcome, everyone seemed to have been expecting something of the sort and pointed fingers at Kamui as responsible, though not exactly in an accusing way.
I could see it coming; the poor man lost everything. It was amazing how he was still functioning…
Does anyone know if Kamui-san is still alive?
For sure; he took care of the compound and perished there…
Such a shame; he was a good person…
They're still looking for him, though. He'll be severely punished if they ever get their hands on him.
Was everything destroyed?
I hear that the black fire is still burning! No one has been able to put it out yet.
Leaders and daimyo's were in a panic to try and figure out how to turn this situation around for financial and political reasons, but that was the least of their problems.
Thankfully, most rumors pointed out Kamui being dead, which was great news. If Kamui simply vanished and they couldn't find him, they would believe he was dead, plus most of the bodies in the compound had for sure been destroyed by now.
Feeling a little more at ease, Sasuke then visited the compound. Indeed, his Amaterasu was still activated, burning away a few objects and walls that were tougher, as well as things made of iron.
Indeed, several men from Jōmae had penetrated the place, some vainly trying to put the fire out, others raiding it to see if any valuables could be found, but other than bone remains and fragments, there was nothing there to salvage. Soon enough, there would be nothing but a large black piece of land.
Feeling a little more at ease, Sasuke went back to Kamui and his family to help them get ready. They were safe there, but they shouldn't stay for much longer just in case. The farther away they were from Key Country in the shortest amount of time, the better.
For a whole day, they packed and cooked most of the food they had to make enough rations that would last them for a few days. They made satchels out of sheets. Kamui made sure that they had enough basic medicine just in case. They packed plenty of water.
Sasuke knew that traveling with so many people would be difficult, especially considering how some of those kids were so young (some barely six years old) and were bound to be exhausted soon. Oi was not in good shape either. Still, both he and Kamui prepared everything together, sharing ideas and never hesitating. Yui was determined to help as much as she could, too, so the three of them already knew that it would be tough but that they had to push through.
Sasuke also had a brief conversation with Kamui concerning the things he had brought from the compound aside from the scrolls. The man had not mentioned it at all and Sasuke had a feeling that he wouldn't unless he approached the subject himself.
A little dejectedly, Kamui explained to him that he could recognize his mother's jewelry there, as well as a necklace that had belonged to Rio. While he understood the importance of getting the photo albums, he didn't want to keep the jewelry or anything that reminded him of his past. Sasuke was already expecting something like this, but he couldn't simply dispose of valuable things when Kamui didn't have much to begin with.
Despite Sasuke's initial refusal, Kamui insisted that he keep all their valuables and do with them as he pleased; whether it was selling them or exchanging them for money, it didn't matter. He also placed all his physical money under Sasuke's care to help finance whatever costs his family would incur.
As much as Sasuke tried to explain to him that the village was self-sufficient and didn't work with currency, Kamui still insisted that he felt that the money was safer with him, and Sasuke had to resignedly accept despite knowing that he would never touch the money or the valuables unless it served some purpose for the Endō family.
Katsuo already knew how to read, so Sasuke summoned his hawk and sent him a short letter explaining things and announcing that he would be arriving soon with eighteen people who desperately needed assistance. He knew the village would welcome them all as they always did, yet it still made him feel slightly hesitant because they'd never taken in so many people in one go.
Well, he had money, too, and he would have to take responsibility for them if the worst-case scenario happened.
The journey wasn't easy, but for the first time in his life, Sasuke understood the mundane usefulness of Naruto's Kage Bunshin . Sasuke had mastered it a long time ago, yet he seldomly used it because he simply didn't need to, plus, due to how much chakra his ocular powers demanded, such a jutsu could be detrimental for him.
Nevertheless, while he could only create a few clones and never hundreds of them like Naruto could, they were still very useful.
It took them several days to reach Sasuke's village, and between carrying satchels and exhausted children on foot for miles, setting up camp every night so they could rest safely, and the constant stops due to less-than-ideal weather conditions, it was quite a challenge and Sasuke couldn't remember a time when he'd been in such a perpetual state of tiredness.
Still, there were good things, too. He wasn't alone, and Kamui and Yui shared the burden with him. The children were cranky but constantly in awe of the new landscapes, hysterical at seeing new animals and new places, hearing new sounds, and trying all sorts of foods in the wilderness. Some of them had never been in a city before, and they had made a detour to a few to quickly buy some shoes and basic needs but hadn't lingered too long to not draw attention.
Everyone was very excited, and at night before sleep took over them, they always asked Sasuke to tell them stories of the village and tell them about the villagers, Katsuo, and all the things they would be learning and doing once they got there. Their eagerness made it all worth it.
Kamui, despite the heavy lines on his face, worked hard and seemed content, equally interested in these stories and already thinking of a thousand things that he could do for the village and its people. Sasuke was surprised by how genuinely eager he was at the prospect of practicing medicine once more, even if not on the level he once had, and he would often discuss remedies and treatments used in the village so they could share knowledge.
What little Sasuke knew was very rudimentary; he learned from the several people he'd come across and self-taught through books, and yet, it quickly became clear that Kamui loved the profession and knew things he was completely ignorant about.
Well, how else could he have taken care of the children without exposing them to the world?
Still, Sasuke was glad that everyone seemed excited about the future.
Sasuke could only hope that they would remain this happy when they got there, too.
000
As expected, the village took everyone in with open arms. Sasuke had explained their situation vaguely in the letter he had sent Katsuo, and perhaps because of this, the villagers were very compassionate from the start, strongly motivated by the ever-loyal Misato and her family.
Thankfully, most of the details had already been arranged by the time they arrived. Several families had already agreed to take in the children; clothes had been provided and tasks had been assigned. The Endō family had to be split and sleep in different houses with different other families for the time being, but because they were distributed in small groups, it wasn't as problematic as Sasuke had initially thought. Also, because it was a welcoming community based on trust and help, everyone moved freely from one house to another.
Kamui had stayed with one group, Yui and Oi with another, while three of the kids cramped up with Sasuke and Katsuo in their small house.
Katsuo was more than ecstatic.
This separation and notion of freedom were initially scary and confusing for the younger children, but Katsuo and the other kids in the village were quick to guide them through the habits, rules, and routines of the community, and it didn't take long before they were running around and exploring
Kamui, Yui, and Oi were a little taken aback and confused by how little they needed to supervise the children since they were always being tended to, either by older kids or by other villagers who called them to help with chores that they could do as a group. Katsuo was often responsible for teaching others sign language and also how to read and how to fight (well, what little Sasuke had taught him up until then).
Everyone was always busy, and the place had become a lot livelier.
At the start, Sasuke could see that Kamui was very restless because he was used to knowing where his family was at all times, so seeing them all so dispersed, with people he still didn't know well, and in places he was still getting used to, was difficult for him. He and Yui would often walk around the village and count the kids to make sure they were all safe and sound and neither had run away or disappeared for some unfathomable reason. Sasuke found this to be highly amusing.
However, with time and added responsibilities, with their assigned tasks on their shoulders, they understood the village's dynamics and learned how to trust the process.
While they had their time to adapt, contributing to the daily life of the community was a pressing urgency, with more people around and more mouths to feed, and they tackled whatever was required of them without hesitation. Even Oi, who had to take a lot of time off to recover from the journey, got her hands dirty as soon as she was well.
In a month, the Endō family had managed to settle in and embrace their new life. The children were happy to play, learn from other kids, and be useful, and Kamui, Yui, and Oi quickly adapted to this more sociable environment and happily contributed as much as they possibly could.
Sasuke couldn't be more relieved, especially because he could see that they truly liked the place and were eager to become useful and familiar with it as soon as possible.
For Katsuo, this seemed like a sort of dream come true, and Sasuke was having a hard time understanding his son's sudden boost of motivation and energy.
Even though Katsuo had been surprised that Sasuke had brought so many people in and playfully gestured in sign language to call him 'crazy', he did everything he could to make everyone feel at home.
At first, he'd been a little intimidated by Oi, and he thought Yui was pretty. He took an instant liking to Kamui, even if he'd been a little in awe at the man's good looks.
Prince? He'd asked Sasuke innocently upon seeing the man, which made him laugh.
Katsuo was quick to understand that Sasuke had a bond with those people. He was also quick to understand that there was a strong connection between Sasuke and Kamui, even if he couldn't understand the complexity of it yet since he was young and Sasuke didn't bother to explain himself to him for the time being because, well, there was nothing he could say other than that they were good friends and that Kamui could be trusted. What happened in their past was not something he could explain for now.
Regardless, Katsuo dealt with Kamui in a way that was strangely similar to how he dealt with Naruto—as someone who was precious to Sasuke and was now precious to him. Sasuke had no idea how he had gained this sort of insight, and it made him both proud and a little uncomfortable.
Rather, he didn't know how to feel about it.
However, because Kamui was a constant in their lives, this relationship mutated before Sasuke could even understand how. Katsuo trusted Kamui, which wasn't surprising—how could a man who took care of fifteen children successfully not inspire trust?
Katsuo loved to be around Kamui and the others. Kamui was kind and patient, like a caring older brother, always willing to crack a joke or use his fantastic physique to play with him and the other kids. He, too, was interested in learning sign language and, in exchange, taught a few fighting tricks to Katsuo, which inevitably brought them closer. He also liked playing with Kamui's hair and trying on a few hairdos, which Sasuke found hilarious.
Katsuo took care of the Endō children and was more than happy to have them sleep over, as they all took turns staying in their small house. The kids were surprised when they saw him change his appearance, but they loved challenging him to mirror their physical traits, and they spent hours doing this.
Still, most of the time, he either used his normal appearance or his signature dark hair and blue eyes. Kamui was curious about the eye color (since the hair color was exactly Sasuke's unusual one, from the pitch black stands to the small bluish hues of some strands, so there was no questioning that) and asked the younger one about it.
Dad has a friend called Naruto, and I like his eyes very much, was Katsuo's reply. These are prettier. But I like my eyes, too.
For some reason, Kamui had smiled, not at all surprised.
When the construction of the Endō house started, Katsuo instantly started plotting with the kids how their lives would be from then on. The kids were bent on taking turns having Katsuo sleep in their rooms, as they were already planning sleepovers and other kid parties that gave Sasuke headaches just thinking about them.
No matter how many times Sasuke had told Katsuo that he couldn't simply invade other people's homes like that, the child's concept of 'home' had been taught to him by the villagers, so this meant that he was allowed to go wherever he pleased as long as the doors were open.
Granted, when the first parts of Kamui's house were built and the family could move in together, Katsuo took advantage of it, and before Sasuke knew what had hit him, Katsuo had made himself at home there, too.
Misato's family and Mika, who had been Katsuo's caretakers while Sasuke was away, were a little sad by the turn of events, but not sadder than Sasuke since his son barely slept in their house anymore.
It was just a phase, Sasuke tried to tell himself. It was all new and exciting, but Katsuo would miss sleeping in their home, and he would miss Misato's place, too.
Kamui welcomed Katsuo at all times and treated him as part of the family. Exasperated as Sasuke was, this also gave him some peace of mind. However, as if he didn't deal with the Endō family daily already, he was constantly being dragged around by his son to Kamui's place for meals, nighttime socializing after the communal dinners, and even get-togethers organized by the children.
During these days, life was so hectic and so loud and full that Sasuke didn't notice time passing by. His heart became full of feelings he still couldn't quite place, and his mind raced constantly. Still, there was a familiar environment and everyone was happy and excited, steadily building their bonds.
It barely gave him time to think about anything other than all the work he needed to do and the contentment he felt.
It made him feel strange how comfortable it all was and how mindlessly he had gotten involved in this weird concept of family that they had created without meaning to.
Despite the chaos, Sasuke felt grounded in ways he couldn't explain.
He and Kamui had unintentionally built a strong support system for all the children together, based on trust, camaraderie, and teamwork. Katsuo had become Kamui's responsibility, just as the Endō children had become a part of Sasuke's life. They were automatically there for each other whenever necessary, and Sasuke's problems were shared because Kamui would always try to help to the best of his abilities.
Kamui always said that Sasuke didn't need to do everything alone, that he could rely on him for anything, and that the village Sasuke envisioned had also become Kamui's goal.
Sasuke knew that this was true.
While they had worked together, talked, and planned for hours on end, their dynamics had never been discussed—it simply was. Even if they had different lives, somehow they had grown accustomed to sharing events and responsibilities as if they were not simply friends but something else that was obvious but not fully tangible.
They were a family.
It brought Sasuke back to days when he'd had his clan and nothing seemed better or more important than spending time together. In so many ways, these feelings broke Sasuke's heart but made him immensely happy, too.
When had he stopped being so individualistic to think so much about other people?
More importantly…
When had he started thinking that this type of life suited him?
Five Months Later
There was a small, abandoned house belonging to an old man who had passed away just a few weeks earlier. He had no children and his closest relatives had their own houses and families, so the place was empty and had no use for the unforeseeable future.
However, Kamui had the smart idea of turning it into a sort of medical office, and because he'd been so efficient in treating people since he'd arrived, everyone supported it wholeheartedly.
Of course, it lacked many things for the time being, but Kamui had cleaned it up nicely and was slowly building shelves for books and cabinets and trying to create a proper environment where he could help treat people throughout the day.
Sasuke gave him a copy of all his notes on medical information, as well as a few books that he had. Kamui spent a few days collecting herbs and ingredients that he could use, and then a few more at his "office" to create readily available medicine and organize tea leaves for infusions in small clay recipients.
The man had already proven to be knowledgeable enough, but he definitely took his new job seriously and was working rather passionately to become a proper doctor and make sure he had at least important medicine at hand for more common illnesses and accidents. He was serious and hardworking, very studious, and still, he tried to be of assistance whenever he was needed in other places and would always visit sick people himself with a smile on his face that always lit up people's spirits.
The villagers were fond of him. One could say that he had become very popular as he was always busy, but this didn't bother him at all.
It brought immense joy to Sasuke to see him and the children adapting to the village so well and being received exactly as they should. Better than that was seeing how they seemed genuinely happy in their new lives.
Compared to Kamui's previous life, this one seemed like a piece of cake to him and he now navigated his chores (even the self-imposed ones) with motivation, his contentment evident even when he seemed tired.
This simple path seemed too humble for an intelligent, strong man like him. Regardless, it suited him, and he didn't want anything else—he loved the hectic yet peaceful life that Sasuke had provided.
Kamui still trained to keep himself fit and to not let go of his shinobi skills. He taught the village kids whenever he could alongside Sasuke, but despite all the things he learned that he had been naïve about before, it was clear that being a medic was what he loved to do and what called out to him the most.
So, Sasuke helped him as much as he possibly could.
Kamui had all these ideas to improve the village and smart plans that were frankly impressive. He was organized and meticulous and had a great eye for what could be done now and what could wait. He and Sasuke had spent hours excitedly debating the things that were needed and how to achieve them. Their combined knowledge was a powerful tool that had Sasuke filling scroll after scroll with their plans in orderly steps that made sense and were attainable.
Kamui's love for the village and his genuine desire to turn it into a more developed place with better living conditions and further security were merely something else that brought him and Sasuke together. The two were a good team and thought alike, and their goals for that place were perfectly aligned.
It relieved Sasuke to know that he was not alone in his dreams and that someone else would protect and cherish the place while he was away.
He couldn't have asked for a better comrade, and this was something that came with an onslaught of happiness that also upset and shook him to his core.
These things only deepened the connection between Sasuke and Kamui, and proved that they were compatible in more ways than one and that it wasn't just a similar past and sexual attraction that lured them to each other because they genuinely liked spending time together.
Kamui didn't speak about it or act upon it, despite how high the tension seemed to escalate with each passing week. It was obvious in the intimate glances, soft smiles, and gentle hands. It was obvious even in peaceful moments of silence or casual leg and arm brushes.
Kamui liked to tease and flirt as usual, but it wasn't exactly inappropriate, so Sasuke thought it was safer to react to it as it did to their more playful banter, but deep down, he was fuming with frustration.
It all made so much sense to him that it pissed him off beyond reason.
That Kamui had become more attractive to him than ever pissed him off, too. That his eyes unconsciously looked for him in the most stupid moments had him nearly bringing his hands up to his head in exasperation more often than not.
Bringing the Endō family to the village was something Sasuke did out of sympathy and yet, he had to admit that he'd also done it because he cared about all of them as people and feared what might happen to them. However, he'd also done it because a part of him didn't want to part ways with Kamui.
Sasuke had already experienced far too much loss, both to death and to the inevitabilities of life, and thinking about how he might never cross paths with Kamui or his family again was something that had anguished him and filled him with restlessness.
While he had learned to accept this fact, in all truth, he had not intended to further his relationship with the man or to have his conflicting feelings escalate and become more chaotic—quite the contrary. He had somehow been expecting that their living alongside each other would help everything to diminish, perhaps due to routine or their getting used to each other's established presence.
By then, Sasuke knew well that events and circumstances could be powerful triggers for attraction. Knowing you cannot have something will make you want it more intensely, and he had believed that this could be the case between him and Kamui—things should fade now that they were not unattainable to each other. This had nothing to do with their relationship as friends, because he knew their affection for each other was true and had come to accept it.
However, it seemed that the more time passed, the more something else seemed to establish itself. To say that it was frustrating was an understatement, especially because, even if they did not talk about it at all, it was blatantly obvious something was going on. When they looked at each other sometimes, the thing was there, screaming, and mentally, Sasuke wanted to bury himself in the deepest hole he could find, but physically, he'd become rather good at masking his emotions, especially when he was furious at himself.
From Kamui's small, knowing smirks, he could see right through him all the same.
It was such a childish, yet all-consuming situation that Sasuke didn't know what to do. He couldn't just turn his back on the man and ignore him – he didn't want to because, insufferable as it all was, it was also new and surprising and baffling and he hated it with a passion but couldn't help but be lured to it. Their friendship was special to him, and he didn't want to ruin it.
That he'd be so stupidly infatuated with someone or with the idea of being with someone was ludicrous.
It didn't feel like anything he'd ever gone through before.
With Naruto, there had been an emotional connection from the start, and the sexual chemistry had happened as it should, progressively and explosively as they had their sexual awakening. Naruto had been his first in everything, and their bond was deeper than mundane things. Sex had always felt amazing but it had still improved throughout the years with mutual experience, so it was always mind-blowing and incomparable.
Kamui had been completely different. It had been physical attraction from the start, then empathy, understanding, then friendship and camaraderie, and through all of this, there had been strong sexual chemistry and they'd had amazing sex. Once. Well, a few times in a single night, but still just once.
Sasuke was so upset at himself for finding this so unfortunate. He hated himself for all the 'what ifs' that plagued his mind daily.
But Kamui was special to him and had suffered enough. He deserved more than just an affair or quick fucks in the shadows; he deserved all the things Sasuke could not give him because of his constant absence, his life in Konoha, and, of course, Naruto.
No one deserved to be someone else's second best, and unfortunately for them, Sasuke truly did not know what the future brought. As rational as he was, he wasn't arrogant enough to think that he could predict himself when it came to Naruto.
Naruto was the bane of his existence, and while Sasuke did not live his life thinking about him or his promises and could distance himself physically, he knew he would always need to be there for Naruto no matter what, be it as a lover, a friend, a protector, or a shinobi comrade. His very soul felt Naruto's emotions and did not know how to be different. He would willingly give his life for Naruto in a heartbeat, and this was an ungrateful situation for everyone involved.
How could he possibly be with someone and subject them to something like this?
000
Because Karin had been in the village a few times, Katsuo and the villagers already knew her and would always welcome her, regardless of whether Sasuke was there or not. Still, Karin always wrote to let him know that she was coming, and that's exactly what she did, announcing her arrival two days later.
As if on cue, Sasuke also received a letter from Kakashi, requesting his presence in Konoha from a certain day onwards. The council had already decided on the next Hokage in line, and Sasuke needed to be present to attend meetings, sign new contracts, and, of course, deliver information that he should've delivered weeks previously (that he hadn't because he'd been too busy helping Kamui and his family settle in).
While Kakashi hadn't said it directly, Sasuke knew that this meant that Naruto would take the position of seventh Hokage in the near future. He had no idea how this made him feel, but it was bittersweet. This was sure to happen at some point, but Sasuke had never really considered how or when it would happen, and even if it was sooner than he had expected, this was just the beginning of another journey that would certainly be long.
He had the feeling that, instead of them being closer to their mutual goal, this somehow established that there was much to happen before they could be together.
It saddened and infuriated Sasuke that he had actually somehow believed that Naruto would, by some miracle, go to him before ever becoming Hokage. However, now that the chance had presented itself, Naruto would not refuse it for the world.
All these feelings were quick to come and quick to go, though, as Sasuke found himself heaving a sigh and effectively pushing them away.
Naruto's dream was coming true. His life was about to change, too, and he suspected that Konoha would put extra responsibility on his shoulders now.
It was close to noon when he went looking for Kamui to let him know he was leaving soon. The man was never in the same place at the same time of the day, at least for now, but Sasuke ended up finding him leaving the plantation fields while carrying two large baskets full of vegetables alongside Oi as they made their way home. As usual, the man's face lit up when he saw him. Sasuke ran up to them to help, and as they made their way to their house, they made small talk.
Regardless of Sasuke saying he just needed to talk to Kamui quickly and that he didn't want to bother, Oi insisted that he go inside and have some tea, and she was so persistent that he couldn't say no.
Kamui's house was a lot bigger than Sasuke's, but not exactly enormous for the time being since several parts were still being built. They had three rooms at this point, a bathing area that could fit at least four people at the time and a nice kitchen-like area with a large table where everyone had breakfast. It was always cramped when everyone was in, and there was still a lot to be done for it to be functional to the village's standards, but at least they could all sleep together under the same roof, finally.
There was some leftover tea ready for them when they arrived, and Oi quickly poured some as they sat at the table in the kitchen before heading outside with a knife and some vegetables to get them ready for consumption. Sasuke had to wonder again why she had to leave them alone when she could've just sat with them. Well, he knew why, but it was embarrassing and he wished she wasn't so obvious, but addressing it would be worse.
The table seemed gigantic when it was just the two of them. Kamui had sat on the floor at one of the farthest ends as the heads of the families did, and Sasuke had chosen to sit to his right.
"I hope I'm not taking up your time," Sasuke told Kamui, cradling his cup of tea with his hand.
"Not at all; I was just going to help her with the vegetables and make lunch. I will only head to the office later this afternoon," the man informed him conversationally. "You're invited to stay and have lunch with us if you want. Katsu will probably join us, too. He's become good friends with the twins."
"Yeah, he has," Sasuke agreed with a small smile. "But he likes all the kids; he sort of sees himself as a leader, even to the eldest ones." He cleared his throat. "I'm not sure about the lunch part for me, though; I have things to do. But thanks."
"Right," Kamui said, doing nothing to hide the obvious disappointment in his expression. "So, what did you need to discuss?"
"It's nothing important," Sasuke clarified a little too quickly. "My friend, Karin, is coming to stay for a couple of days."
"Karin, as in, the mother of your daughter," Kamui mentioned thoughtfully.
"She's my friend, so we do hang out sometimes, and it's not her first time here," Sasuke explained, not sure why he was doing so in the first place. "She's staying with Katsuo and me. But that's not what I needed to tell you. I received a letter from my Hokage asking me to report to Konoha. I have to leave in a few days. I have a feeling Naruto has been appointed the next Hokage."
Kamui's eyebrows rose but he didn't seem particularly impressed by the information; instead, he looked rather curious, his eyes trying to read Sasuke's demeanor. "Well, this is a good thing, isn't it?" he said politely, crossing his arms over the table, a strand of silky loose hair falling to his chest.
"It's his dream, as I've told you," Sasuke said, with a dismissive shrug.
"Yes, I'm sure you're very happy on his behalf." It wasn't said with malice, but there was an underlying understanding of Sasuke's feelings that made the Uchiha tense a bit.
Not wanting to discuss it further, Sasuke brought the cup to his lips and sipped the tea. "I have no idea what will happen from now on or how my duties will change," he said, setting the cup back down carefully. "Either way, I wanted to talk to you to ask you to make a list of medical supplies that I can purchase in Konoha that you think are necessary here. And, well, if there is anything you want me to bring for you guys or the kids, just let me know and I'll take care of it."
Kamui was very still for a few seconds, eyeing him with an inscrutable expression now. After a while, he all but nodded. "Of course, I'll take care of that today," he agreed softly. "You have my money in your care; feel free to use it."
"Don't be stupid; I already told you I'm not touching your money," Sasuke refused, with a frown. "It's yours; it has nothing to do with the village."
"The village is my home, too," Kamui contradicted. "You can't possibly finance all of it by yourself."
"Keep that money for the kids and Yui," Sasuke dismissed firmly, and this time, it was Kamui who tensed. We have no currency here right now. They will need money if they want to leave this place at some point, and you need to be able to provide that opportunity for them if they want it. So please, drop it."
At this, Kamui pressed his lips together. "You're right," he acquiesced, but there was genuine restlessness in his voice. "It doesn't make me feel any better, though. You can't take care of everything alone."
"I get paid for what I do for Konoha, Kamui," Sasuke told him with a shrug. "A good part of it goes to my family, and while I need money to travel and provide for myself, I still have some savings on the side, plus I have connections. Eventually, we'll be able to trade with other villages and business will flow by itself, but I have everything under control at this point. You don't need to worry."
Kamui's eyes were intense as he bit down on his lower lip, a confusion of emotions crossing his handsome features.
"Just say what you have to say," Sasuke said, noticing the way the man's hands clenched on his arms.
"I was just thinking that I don't understand you sometimes," his friend said, shaking his head. "You're so complex, yet you have such simplistic ways of dealing with certain things."
"It's called practicality."
"You're only practical with mundane things," Kamui muttered. "How long will you be away?"
"I don't know. A few weeks if I don't have to go anywhere else. More if I'm assigned a new mission. I might drop by if it's on the way there, but it's unlikely."
Another pause. "Alright."
A long silence settled between them, during which they merely looked at each other. Sasuke could tell that Kamui was struggling with something but was keeping to himself, which usually wasn't a good idea since he was such an honest person. While there were things the man didn't address out of courtesy, he was usually very straightforward and didn't keep his thoughts to himself for long, so Sasuke knew something was wrong; he had an idea what it was but was torn on how to deal with it. He didn't want Kamui to be upset but also feared that something uncomfortable would be brought up between them.
"Are you upset?" Sasuke chose to ask carefully.
"No," the other said plainly, finally looking away from Sasuke and down at the cup of tea that he reached out to. "We met almost eight months ago and we've always been together until now, so I guess I forgot that this is not your life and that you'd have to leave eventually. But that's on me."
Sasuke swallowed the dryness in his throat.
Of course, Kamui would be affected by Sasuke leaving. Sasuke had been so focused on processing Karin's arrival and Naruto before dropping the news that he hadn't even considered how Kamui would feel.
They were friends and indeed had been together for a long time, sharing many things together, so obviously the routine would be disturbed. They wouldn't be seeing each other for weeks, probably months, and only now did this fact hit him.
It upset Sasuke, too, and the realization was uncalled for.
"It's not like I'm leaving forever," he replied as if it would offer some form of reassurance, even though he felt suddenly solemn, mirroring Kamui's feelings.
"I know. It's just that I've gotten used to you. I can't help but feel a bit morose."
Ah, fuck.
There was nothing insinuating in Kamui's words, but the raw honesty behind them had Sasuke's heart skipping an unpleasant beat.
He really did not need this; it was one of the reasons why he didn't want to get too emotionally involved in the first place.
There was another moment of silence as Kamui brought the cup to his lips and sipped the tea. This somber and resigned air about him was not something Sasuke was used to since he was always kind and smiling, usually the one to try and lighten up the mood. Sasuke fought with himself, wanting to say something comforting or reciprocating but convincing himself he shouldn't.
Instead, he cleared his throat and made to leave.
"Well, I'll be going now," he announced. "I'm sure Oi-baa-san could use a hand and I'm just keeping you…"
"Sasuke." Kamui interrupted him just as he was about to stand and Sasuke all but froze. "Can you stay a little longer, please? We need to talk."
The request was uttered softly but the tone was firm.
Even if the man still wasn't looking at him, Sasuke nodded and settled down again, even if his instincts told him to flee.
By now, he knew Kamui well enough to understand that the man was struggling.
This time, it was Kamui who cleared his throat, and he looked both serious and pensive, as if he were carefully considering how to voice what he wanted to say, and this was to Sasuke more distressing than anything else because he instantly knew he was about to be put in a difficult position.
"You're leaving to meet your lover, and this has been choking me for a while, so I'm going to ask you to listen to what I have to say before saying anything," Kamui retorted, slowly and clearly. "Can you do that for me?"
"I'll try," Sasuke replied, feeling automatically defensive. "I can already tell this isn't going to sit well with me."
Kamui's dark eyes finally rolled up to meet him. A small smirk curled the corner of his mouth, so endeared Sasuke felt himself grow a little hotter.
Fucking hell, this is insufferable.
"It's fine if it doesn't sit well with you; it still needs to be addressed because we're not children and I don't deal well with repressing myself," Kamui said, conversationally. "You know you're the only thing standing between me and my uncomfortable bluntness, but just as you feel the need to speak your mind, so do I."
"Well, don't let me stop you," Sasuke said at once, even if he knew he would probably regret it. Hopefully, he'd get out of this sooner rather than later.
"I'm tired of pretending there's nothing going on between us, and I want to do something about it." For someone so blunt, Sasuke was taken aback by the direct approach of something he knew well what it was, and his instant reaction was to open his mouth to protest and say something against it, but Kamui's mouth was quicker as he cut him short. "This is where you shut up and listen, yes?"
Closing his mouth at once, Sasuke took a deep breath through his nose, feeling his heart rate accelerate as he stared daggers into Kamui's eyes. Unlike before, Kamui held his gaze unfalteringly, challengingly, and silently telling him that this wasn't something he would allow him to push away or dismiss anymore.
Granted, Sasuke had done that. While their friendly intimacy had gotten deeper, he had promptly ignored the subtle praises, the lingering touches, or the good-natured flirting.
Because Kamui was respectful of his personal and emotional space, he had tried to come closer a few times experimentally, but would always back away when Sasuke dismissed it or pretended not to notice (a fact the man was aware of, of course, because they knew each other well, and Sasuke was far from being naïve, especially when their attraction was so obvious to them it could be sensed in the air).
Clenching his teeth, Sasuke lifted his chin and tapped his fingers on the table. "Fine."
Narrowing his eyes, Kamui straightened his back a little, and one would say he was about to talk business, but this was just him adjusting his body language to be in the same defiant stance as Sasuke, and it was kind of funny because this was actually their dynamics whenever one was trying to have the upper hand in a conversation.
"I know back then you said you didn't want to talk about any of this, but we're not in Key Country anymore, and you and I did not go our separate ways," Kamui started, gently yet without hesitation. "I understand that we both needed time to let that initial attraction dissipate because we went through many things together in a short time and there was a lot of intensity going on. It could fade—at least some part of it—so that was the logical course of action. However, in my humble opinion, these last few months alongside you only proved that it wasn't fleeting for either of us. We understand each other well by now, so no matter what you say, you can't possibly deny it and expect me to believe you."
"I wasn't going to," Sasuke hissed in simultaneous embarrassment and frustration because the guy hit the nail on the head rather accurately. "It was never an issue of how I felt about it; it was just..."
Kamui raised a hand to placate him, effectively interrupting him again. "I don't want to talk about things in a way that will push you away or overwhelm you," he retorted calmly. "But it's becoming increasingly harder to want you in silence, especially when I look at you and see that it's not one-sided and that it's putting an obvious strain on our relationship."
Biting on his lower lip, Sasuke didn't reply, his fingers curling to create a fist on the table, and through this, Kamui's smart, intense eyes were on him, capturing his attention to such an extent he couldn't look away.
Every nerve in his body stood on edge in a mixture of longing and annoyance.
Behind the words Kamui uttered, his gaze conveyed other things Sasuke understood well, and while unnerving, it was also alluring because their quiet pinning was probably one of the most frustrating and thrilling things he'd ever gone through, and the feeling was similar to how he felt when it came to Naruto, yet different.
It was strange how he and Kamui had gotten close to the point of understanding each other so well, but it was all Kamui's doing, of course. Sasuke closed himself off like a clam, yet the man had somehow pulled out the most honest parts of him with surprising ease.
Well, Sasuke had seen his heart after all.
"All I'm saying is, if we make sense to each other, we should at least try something and see where it takes us," Kamui proceeded. "You are family to me. The kids love you. What you have given me is not something I will ever be able to repay."
The man paused for a few seconds, chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully. Then, he reached out to Sasuke's hand, his gestures the action so slow that it became clear that he was giving Sasuke time to react, to withdraw his hand or say something, yet he didn't.
Instead, Sasuke's eyes lowered as tanned fingers gently touched the back of his hand, still closed in a fist.
"You awakened in me things I thought were dead forever," Kamui confessed sincerely. "More than that, you lit a fire of hope inside me that hasn't been extinguished ever since. Because of that, I keep hoping and making plans for the future, because you showed me that I am worth it enough to be allowed to. Months ago, when I accepted the mission to retrieve your eyes, never in a million years would I have considered that I'd be here today with you like this. I'm so glad this is how it turned out, though. I wouldn't want any of it to be different than it was."
At this, Sasuke couldn't help but feel moved by the verbal expression of feelings coming from his friend.
Despite his better judgment, he uncurled his fingers and turned his palm up so he could hold the strong hand in his.
"You're not that much of an old man that needs to settle for this between us," he said quietly, his thumb brushing absently over the man's pointer finger. "You're so popular everywhere you go. You could find a nice woman in a heartbeat; maybe start another family, too."
"I was never a Loverboy, Sasuke," Kamui said, with a small smile, caressing his hand back, and the contact was pure, casual but comforting, devoid of any intention to such an extent that instead of riling Sasuke up, it calmed him down. "I'm sure there are many wonderful women in the world; hell, I married one of them. But I don't want that. Those kids are my children already. Besides, what truly brings two people together is not something you find around the corner, and you know this. I never believed in fate, but you're living proof that it's real, so... even if you already have a soulmate, you made me believe we crossed paths because we were meant to make each other's lives significantly better, Sasuke. You already did that for me, and I only want you to let me do the same for you to the best of my ability."
"By taking you as my lover, whatever that might mean?" Sasuke asked, eyeing him as if it were obvious that he was being ridiculous. "When I'm already married while having an affair with someone else? Someone who I can die for at any given moment? How is that fair to you? I don't want to hurt you."
"Pain is a subjective feeling for someone like me," Kamui dismissed easily. "I think that if you choose to go on a journey that will bring you happiness, those good memories will always be worth it, even if the end is a mess. I prefer to do it and have no regrets than wonder about what could've been. And let's be honest with each other, Sasuke; there's so much potential between us."
Sasuke could only heave a sigh. It pained him that Kamui was right and that he had very few arguments to fight his logic. "It's exactly because there's potential that it's a terrible idea," he said, shaking his head. He bit down on his lower lip, looking down at their joined hands while momentarily enraptured by how contrasting their skin tone was. "I know I'll get hurt, too."
Fingers reached for his cheek in a brief caress. Then, a knuckle touched his chin, lifting it and making him raise his head so he could look back at Kamui again. The man had gotten closer; his expression was unbearably kind, to such an extent that it was comforting.
"You can't just push happiness away just because you don't want to get hurt," Kamui said carefully. "Would you take back everything that ever happened between you and Naruto just so you didn't have to feel helpless right now?"
Swallowing, Sasuke grunted in slight annoyance. "Sometimes I wish I could at least want to take it all back, but no, I don't."
Kamui smiled, thumb caressing Sasuke's chin as his eyes fondly ran over his features.
"Look, you don't need to give me an answer right now," he assured. "Go to Konoha, be with him, and take time to think things through. It's not like I haven't considered the pros and cons. It's not like I will ever burden you with my feelings or tell you not to be with him or with whomever you want. I'm just asking you to think about us and how you'd like our relationship to be. We can sort out what we want from each other together."
It crossed Sasuke's mind that the intimacy felt so natural that it was nearly familiar. It wasn't like they were so physical that this made sense at all, but it was definitely a testament to how close they were and how at ease they felt with each other.
They had gotten so close that Sasuke knew that he only had to say the word and they'd probably be fucking on the floor like rabbits in heat.
It baffled Sasuke to no end.
"What is it that you want, Kamui?" he asked, genuinely curious as to why the man still wanted him with all the challenges that this between them would involve. "How do you idealize our relationship in your mind?"
"Companionship, mutual trust, and good times that bring us both enough contentment to want it to last." Kamui pinched his chin playfully. "Well, even if it doesn't, hopefully we'll at least have wonderful memories of dirty, mind-blowing sex."
Sasuke was unable to hold back the snort at the teasing. "You're disgusting."
"So you keep saying, but you still liked the sex, and you still like me the way I am."
It unnerved Sasuke how much that was true.
"Not really; you actually piss me off a lot."
Even as he said it, he didn't fight Kamui's hand in his, languidly moving and adjusting it so their fingers intertwined. The action made Sasuke's heart skip a beat, rendering him momentarily speechless as he swallowed the tightness in his throat.
"You just dislike the fact that you like me," Kamui countered, his voice knowing and carefully husky, offering him one of his soft and disgustingly handsome smirks. "You think life would be so much easier for you if you didn't. You also hate how attractive you think I am."
Despite how fucking true this also was, Sasuke still cleared his throat because he'd be damned if he let Kamui take the leverage in this conversation. "You're so conceited, it honestly perplexes me."
Good, his voice had sounded a lot more stabilized than he felt, but there was no denying the flush in his cheeks and the fact that this interaction was causing his body to react against his will.
"I think you're the sexiest person I know, too," Kamui admitted, easily, eyes suggestively looking down at Sasuke's lips—a well-planned attack because there was no way he didn't know that it would affect the younger man. "Even through your questionable yet somehow fitting fashion sense."
"Kiss me."
The request (it sounded more like a demand) left Sasuke's mouth faster than the thought crossed his mind and it mortified him instantly because, impulsive as he was sometimes, his mind was not supposed to be this slow to process his subconscious desires.
Regardless, the tension was high and he was honestly a little on edge, plus he wanted to see what Kamui would do, so adamant as he was in pursuing a relationship with him, so Sasuke merely stared into the man's amused eyes, defiantly as if he had totally meant to say it.
Kamui didn't say anything for a few seconds, his eyes expressive and fierce looking down at his lips hungrily as he seemed to contemplate his options. Then he leaned forward enough to be invasive until their noses almost touched. Sasuke's eyebrows rose in disbelief as a sort of instant anxiety filled him.
What had he been thinking? He was not in the right state of mind to be kissed; he was sure he would not be able to hold back and he hadn't given this any thought. He didn't want to do anything mindlessly and put himself and Kamui in a difficult position.
However, Kamui did nothing.
"Not a chance," he ended up refusing, with a mocking smirk. "As much as I would love to do that and so much more right now, I will let you sort yourself out and realize how much you want to be with me first."
Even so, the man was still bold enough to press a small kiss to the tip of Sasuke's nose and pinch his chin playfully before releasing it, leaving him frozen, completely caught off guard.
Of course, Kamui wouldn't kiss him; he knew that would violate their current rules and boundaries, and he would not dare, being the perfect gentleman that he was.
"Asshole," Sasuke still hissed, so astonished he couldn't even understand why he was so annoyed at the both of them.
"I learned from the best," Kamui retorted sweetly. "Just know that I still like you. Very much so, Sasuke."
An unwanted surge of heat washed over Sasuke from head to toe. With a loud groan, he pried his hand away from the man's and used it to push him away so he could finally be at a safe distance and let him breathe.
"Stop being embarrassing, and fuck you, by the way," he threw, upset but not exactly angry, which Kamui knew—he had been playing this game knowing the outcome. His friend laughed as he quickly got to his feet, but with as much dignity and composure as he possibly could. "I'm leaving."
"Sure, I'll stop nagging you for the time being, but do think about it seriously, Uchiha-sama," Kamui said, calmly getting up as well, but Sasuke was already turning on his heels and walking out, not really trusting himself or his temper to stay in the man's presence for much longer.
"Right," he mumbled, stepping out of the house and into the bright, sunny street, immediately taking a deep breath to calm himself down. Looking to the side, he noticed that the stool where Oi was supposed to be sitting was empty, but the basket of vegetables was still there, along with a large clay basin where scraps could already be seen. He noticed that Oi had interrupted her work halfway through, for she was happily talking to another elderly woman a few houses down from theirs.
Good; hopefully she had heard nothing of his conversation with Kamui. Still, it wasn't like she didn't know something was up—she had alluded to it several times already - and for sure, for Kamui to have approached him like this in a request for something more, meticulous as he was, he had already given his family a heads up of his interest in Sasuke at some point.
Swallowing hard, Sasuke swiftly slid his feet into his sandals, trying to look as normal as possible, even though he felt so on edge and stupidly embarrassed that he wanted to hide inside the deepest hole he could find.
Huffing, he stormed away, upset that some part of him—a very tiny, frustrating one—felt more excited and confused than he cared to admit.
TBC…
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
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