Total Drama X: Ultimate Islands!
Episode 32: L.O.S.E.R.S Only

I'd like to answer two questions that I didn't get the chance to answer in the Discord server (which is a great place to be):

1. This season takes place in Summer 2022, Hotel Rockies takes place in Summer 2023 and my Going Global (that's the new title) takes place in 2024

2. Coachman's both a really interesting Disney Villain precisely because he's like a horror villain and a mob boss combined (someone who can pull off the facade of being nice and yet...) and he makes NO SENSE to being in Total Drama (even less than Alastor, mind you) and fits perfectly both in Trainwreck Express (uh, it's gonna be a while) and here (he's great at being "pleasant" in this universe)

P.S. There's definitely at least 6 villains better than him (Spot ties with him, by the way)

3. (o wait, this is just a reponse to Memeking's review) I literally was looking on Wikipedia as I wrote that whole chapter for spicy foods, so I'm more surprised that you liked it that much! Said single chapter thing came from advice I was given, which should have been more obvious.

4. This took longer than it should have (like 2 and a half weeks, instead of 2 weeks)

Anyways, it's time for that one episode that Leshawna got eliminated in.


All 18 of the contestants, including an incredibly relieved pair of Pit and Miko, actually got some good food for once from Chef Hatchet of all people, which might have been a sign for the episode.

Especially since that was right after the challenge.

"I knew that cooking show wasn't bullshit. Thanks, Chef!" Dante shouted.

"Thank the chef this time around..."

Sokka looked at him.

"...is Chris here?"

Sokka looked at Chef Hatchet, who threw some great-tasting slop in his face.

Though he gave a thumbs up, a lot of the remaining contestants were suspicious of how good it tasted for no apparent reason at all, especially Heavy.

"Did I do this. I made you cook good!" Heavy's grin was apparent. "What is immunity for, though?"

"Chris ain't here at the moment! I heard he's doing something special, so don't forget your immunity." Chef dumped some great-tasting garbage on Mikhail's tray. "You're going to need it for everyone else!"

Everyone was sitting down and Heavy just ignored the message, but since it was a real shout, someone figured it out after everyone took their time eating some good fucking food.

"Something tells me that this is like that one episode where Leshawna got eliminated." Yumeko stated. "The food, that odd warning and the fact that Chris ain't here."

"Hey, uh, you might want to calm down! It is exactly like that one episode." Squirrel Girl said. "The real problem is who's going to get eliminated-"

Chef opened the door to a sentient tornado.

"IS THAT TAZ-"

And the unrelated chaos started, Pit and Miko excited for that kind of challenge with Tasmanian Devil starting it up back on Boney Island.

"Good to go, Chris?"


Chris looked the exact same minus those watchful goggles, but he was enjoying the Looney Tunes antics going on back on Boney Island and he had a whole fanfiction season's (and more) worth of characters to show up in Hotel McLean.

"While our surviving campers have a great time on Boney Island and enjoying all of its beauty-"

He turned towards the actual hotel.

"-our many, many eliminated contestants have been staying here for a while and for some, it has been two months since they got here, being eliminated in the first few episodes! They're all losers, so let's see what these losers get up on..."

Chris had the classic zoom out.

"...TOTAL DRAMA: ULTIMATE ISLANDS!"

[There was an intro here, but it was removed due to copyright infringement from Wade Wilson]


"YOOO!"

oh god.

"It's me, everyone's favourite fourth-wall breaking hero! Deadpool, who didn't have an arc this season. Along with a whole bunch of people who kind of got done dirty."

Deadpool was back for more screen time and he had chewed his bubblegum after kicking a decent amount of ass.

"Seriously, guy, you could've just given Raven her own respect or at least, respect her wishes! Say hello, Raven!"

Raven "silently" chanted her spell, though it was more like Deadpool couldn't hear it and she waved it straight towards the merc with the mouth.

"Aw, she's a little bit camera shy, so do you want to-"

And the camera cut to whole nother thing, mostly because Deadpool got thrown by Raven's demonic magic and the merc with the mouth was back-

"Hey, hey, fellas, how are you all doing! How would you feel dealing with the cast that's still packed into the top...18?" Deadpool shoved the microphone in Shego's face. "Like, would any of them scare you?"

Shego was relaxing on a beach chair.

"A lot of them wouldn't scare me, but you need some actual strategy to make it unlike some people who do crazy stuff and still end up in 33rd." Shego casually said. "That being said, winning challenges is a good strategy! Can you please get out of my face!"

"No."

Deadpool then got a fireball to the face from Shego.

Okay, so that's only two of them and already Deadpool was having problems interviewing people, though a lot of people in this epic hotel was already tired of him besides Chris McLean, who wasn't even there at the time.

"Okay, Deadpool, what stupid question do you have to ask me? I just arrived here sick!" Pinstripe shouted. "Goddamn, is everyone tired of you?"

"Maybe. As a sexy man that does interviews when he can't save the world or Arby's, I don't get it."

Pinstripe looked at him.

"I still don't get it, but you've got a great look."

"Thanks, man...you still deserved to be voted off."

"Come on, I didn't have any epic arc about friendship or betrayal or being in two alliances at once, even if it woulda killed me!" Deadpool shouted. "You should have-"

"Trust me, you're literally too powerful to die and you can teleport. I ain't even insulting you, you're pretty damn cool."

Deadpool slumped away from the conversation, as Pinstripe shrugged and enjoyed the sights of the other contestants that were not-

"No respect to my name, because I am definitely one of the best Marvel characters out there!"

dude, you already have six or seven fanfics where you're doing something wild and I definitely have disrespected you. that being said, you might not have wanted to be main cha-

"Alright, alright! At least I lasted longer than Coachman, even if it was by one episode."

and that should be good enough for you.

"Then you don't know who I am!"

Deadpool still slumped and man, i don't want to talk to him again.


With more interesting characters having been eliminated since the final merge, there was bound to be rivalries that have lasted for a decent amount of time especially with Crimson in the building.

"Bro, it's okay! I was just playing the game!" Muscle Man shouted, avoiding Crimson's aura.

"I'm not even mad." Crimson spoke. "But, like, there are better people to eliminate."

"I only voted for you a bunch of times!"

Muscle Man, Crimson and subsequently, Mikasa were sharing a moment inside the main reception, whose receptionist didn't want to be stuck here dealing with the implications of a certain elimination.

"But, like, I don't care. Mikasa cares a lot."

Mikasa raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"You really think that I care that you got me eliminated! I more so care that you sucked at having an alliance." Mikasa crossed her arms. "It's really sad that you tried so hard and then you got eliminated two episodes after me!"

"Why don't you shut up, miss!" Muscle Man shouted, as Crimson walked away. "I don't care that you kinda stopped the evil man, just shut up for a second."

"I will, though."

Mikasa and Crimson saw that Muscle Man ran away.

"You're gonna see me come back next season as a tough man with my wife!"

These two weren't really intriuged, moreso really interested on what kind of woman would like a short fat green man, who ran with one of the best screams that ever existed.

Mostly because it was hilarious.


Muscle Man was tired of those two making fun of him being 23rd place in this season and he went onto better places that were totally not filled with fake gang wars.

Or rather, Riley Freeman saw him and knew that he'd be perfect for the next move, blocking his path.

"Kid, what do you want, man?" Muscle Man asked. "I was about to drive around the island again!"

"I don't know, you always do that shit!" Riley shouted.

Muscle Man got sent some paintball guns and Riley smirked.

"Nigga, we about to go hard on Catalina and her crew! She's a hoe, I confirmed it!"

"...Wait, she has a whole crew now?"

Riley nodded.

"We're boutta go on her...outside of here at 12!"

Muscle Man looked tired.

"Bro, I just wanna shoot this, I don't even care about the beef you've got going on!" Muscle Man shouted. "See ya later, bro!"

"Nah, fuck you!"

And just like that, Riley was down a gun and Muscle Man was up with a gun and two more dudes that were in his alliance or his team that were excited to do the deed of having fun.

Riley was on a one man mission to try and deal with the "bitch that ruined his map reading" and he would go everywhere for it, far outside of the hotel and Catalina was doing something completely different.

For the record, it's now time for something completely different and on the top of the hill of a quite foresty area.

"I don't really care about your feud with some kid. Why do you even have a feud with some kid?" Shego questioned. "You both sucked as far as I know!"

"...Pendeja, that kid stole the map and then flipped it around when he fought he was big man on camp! Pig kid-"

"Still don't care, you kinda did it to yourself."

Catalina and Shego were sitting together casually.

"Bitch, why are you helping me?"

"Because there's nothing to do and RIley's really annoying everyone."

These two nodded to that shit.

"What the fuck do you mean nothing to do? Soma's cooking crazy shit in the hotel nonstop." Catalina said. "That pendejo Riley's gonna eat that peanut squid thingy and he'll get shot with my gun!"

"Right, right, you're going to bully a kid."

Shego looked at her with intrigue.

"Let's go."

These two were about to bully some more kids, mostly because the other two kids were kind fucking around all over the place and oh, look, the next paragraph started.


Basil was simulteanously not interested in talking to many of the other people and really interested in saying his own piece with the companionship of the other cabin hanging out people.

"Wow, you're definitely a great mouse detective." Sol crossed his arms. "So, what's with this Ratigan guy? Is he dead?"

"He should be dead, considering that he fell from Big Ben and his size should mean that his death would be inevitable barring some kind of method of flying that involved his cape." Basil explained. "...Which shouldn't sound plausible and I have investigated many fake rumours about Ratigan, when it is about some other scum of the earth."

"Geez, they really did bait you." Sol Badguy remarked. "Something tells me that you shouldn't humour him."

"That's good and all, but there is a whole criminal organization that always try to bring that cruel villain's name."

"That's crazy. Just try to find satisfaction in doing other things, get some hobbies." Ryuko stated, as the other two looked at her. "That's kinda what I've been doing."

Basil, Sol Badguy and the quiet and observant Samus all noticed that Ryuko came in and listening to the wild, wild stories of the great mouse detective.

"The fuck's your hobbies?" Sol asked.

"Language, my friend." Basil warned. "But you are right."

"It's a long damn story, but you know, I learned a lot beating the other clubs at my weird academy...and it's a lot of things."

Ryuko meant that she had been up to a lot more normal things other than saving the world from clothes, but these four were having some moments.

"Long story short, there's always something else to do, Basil, like listen to weird-ass stories from each other. Sol's apparently god-slaying every other week." She said.

"Come on-"

Sol and Ryuko looked at the slightly flustered Samus, who looked at them seriously.

"-tell us some weird-ass stories."

Samus shrugged, genuinely unsure of something.

"I don't have anything weird-ass, but...yes."

Ryuko got up and saw that she...had no idea what she was doing here, but appreciated it.

"I'm gonna leave and I heard that Snake's coming here." Ryuko remarked.

"Eh, he can join whatever party this is." Samus stated. "But where you are going?"

"I don't fricking know, but I'm going to find my friends in this place."

Ryuko then ran off proudly, as the three adults ignored her exit and the hero girl sprinted down the hill.

'

Fred and Hank were both dads that loved to BBQ and had wives that may or may not question their own people, the battle continuing with the newest arrivals from the boat.

"I can't believe that you cook that good with that thing! It's just rocks!" Hank shouted incredulously.

"Gee, it works, it cooks and people like the meat, nothing much to it." Fred said.

The two dads were attracting a small crowd of friendly and mostly American dudes from the two-team stage, in awe at the technique of two dads just wanting to competitively grill.

"Guys, it's been months, calm down!" Terry shouted.

"Come on, they're not mad. They're just being men being men!" Yuri said. "I saw my dad like this when he's cooking sometimes...it's a long story."

"Damn, it's just your dad?"

The flames were spitting out heat.

"Yeah."

The food was done from both of the dads, one being from the Stone Age and the other being from Texas, the rest of American-styled people took their time to grab the good eats.

Even Soma, the best cook of all time, was eating the steaks, burgers and whatever else but the corn-on-the cob and he grinned at them, Fred and Hank staring right at him.

"Hey, take it easy, I think I could do better than both of you." Soma stated.

"Did your dad teach you to talk that way?"

"I'm gonna say yeah!"

Fred and Hank were a bit too mad at the disrespectful kid to notice that Rock had his shirt off and Clover was too busy squeeing at his own abs to notice that the rockstar was chowing down on that meat.

Rock carried that plate, as Clover was chilling on the beach chair by herself and she was displeased with the meat.

"Uh, why would you give me these?" Clover asked. "I don't like proteins and carbs that much."

"I just wanted to put it down for the boys, you know! Besides-"

"Come on, like, I don't mind! I wouldn't want to change anything about you!"

"-I was going to say that you'd like some stuff, but yeah."

It was oddly awkward for two young adults, but you know it could be infinitely worse.

"Serious question, how do you think getting's eliminated in the next challenge?" Rock suggested. "Because I don't think that Miko's got that much longer to survive!"

"Are you kidding me? Pit's not a smart guy and he think he's cool, even though he's like a little brother that's good at stuff." Clover stated, seeing the opinion.

Someone else saw the opportunity to instigate the situation and they arrived with an important question.

"Then who would you think would win, huh?" Iori asked.

"Dante." Rock and Clover confidently said.

"I don't know why you're jealous, man." Rock spoke with pain. "I'm hanging out with my girl."

Iori scoffed at the accusation that he was serious.

"I have my reasons!" He remarked with an equal amount of confidence.

Clover smiled and chuckled, as Rock gave a thumbs up.

"Kyo did not send me over here as an bet because he's lame!"

Iori skulked away, as though the couple didn't figure out what was going on anyways and also as though Kyo and Yuri weren't laughing about the instigation attempt.

Speaking of attempts, that was certainly one of them, as those two were smiling.

"Look at that, I certainly made them mad." Iori huffed.

"For about a second and now you're more mad than ever!" Kyo remarked. "Face it, Yagami, you're not the best at it."

"Damn right I'm not, Kusanagi. But about poetry..."

"Hey, you keep your mouth shut!"

Kyo and Iori were ready to throw down for more, as Yuri Sakazaki was grinning at the potential chaos on those two having their eighth fight at the resort.

Hilariously enough, Mr. Smee had everything on him in the literal sense, being all dirty and carrying things that shouldn't be carried.

"Shouldn't you stop them from fighting?" Smee asked. "I mean they always fight and it does get a bit old."

"You haven't seen this fight, yet!"

Smee ran in between the middle of the two guys sharing their flames, leading to him getting completely blown up and the two fighters surprirsed that Smee came out of somewhat unscathed.

"Stop, you two, you burned me and-"

Kusanagi and Yagami glared a hole into the old pirate's soul.

"-right, right, you two have a great fight and carry on with it."

Smee ran away, as the tenth fight finally happened.


Tanya von Degurechaff was a part of the "shitty people club", Which was named by the great founder, Khun Aguero Agnes, who didn't want the discussion to hilariously volatile and then fucked off to be part of the TD:UI elimination discussion club.

In reality, that was a fucking lie because some people were here for forbidden knowledge and Rapunzel was one of them and it was a lie, because it was a weirdly massive room with a lot of amenities.

"So, you deliberately sent some of your troops to the back to get hurt out of life because they didn't listen to you!" Rapunzel shouted offendedly.

"For the record, I didn't really know about them and they disobeyed my command in a world when if magic wars happen." Tanya explained. "I stopped that because the other people were better soldiers."

"Oh my god, I forgot why I was here."

"...Wait, why did you even go here?!" Tanya shouted. "I didn't want to hear any moralising, just to go whoever you wanted to talk to."

Rapunzel looked at the child soldier with some contempt before going towards the apparently controversial pair of Michiru and Kipo, who wanted some peace and quiet.

"Hey, animal ladies, what's going with you! Why are you guys hanging out here!" Rapunzel asked. "For science."

"Have you seen Catalina and Riley, those two are causing problems everywhere in the stupidest war I've ever seen!" Michiru screamed, as Rapunzel nodded.

"Figures."

Rapunzel, Michiru and Kipo all have a very spirited discussion, ignoring the big slightly spiteful elephant in the room that slowly walked towards Tanya and Tron Bonne, two people who didn't like him opposite reasons.

"Do you always have to waste our time?" Tron Bonne asked. "You did indirectly eliminate, but I want to know."

"...Is that one question because I'm already raring to answer that."

"What's with you and crossdressing?"

Coachman wasn't expecting that question, which got him looking at himself.

"Strategy." His clenched frown showed everything.

"You sure it's strategy? Because you do a little bit too much including that crown that gives you boobs." Tron Bonne chuckled. "...Yeah, strategy."

"Strategy is such a strange mistress, ain't she? Besides, I did indirectly eliminate you and more importantly, I did that while I had a terrible game, too!"

Tron Bonne was surprised.

"You knew that you had a terrible game?!" Tron yelled.

"I went on this for a vacation, I know that I did terribly! That's quite fair."

Tron Bonne got up.

"Oh and those crimes have no evidence that I did them. Quite terrible, indeed!"

Tron Bonne glared at the vile old man, who hid his self-satisfactory grin to only Tanya, who wanted nothing to do than to put something into his own head.

"Oh god, you're still insufferable." Tanya answered. "Considering that I watched every single thing that this season has...you should have taken my alliance in consideration."

"Why should I have-" Coachman tried to answer.

"You got eliminated right before the merge. Apparently, that's embarassing. Personally, I think you set yourself up for that one with your actively anti-social game and you stupid villainy."

Coachman wasn't scared of her words.

"You know what's incredible? You would have been eliminated much earlier if you didn't do desperate moves...so, those are my reasons."

Tanya saw that this villain smiled, as Piccolo and Aisling witnessed it and one of them had to speak up.

"And yet you're actually here." Piccolo spoke. "She did that without talking to many people, which should give you pause."

"Green man's right, you made everyone mad by Episode 16 and almost no-one was on your side, not even in your own alliance."

Coachman thought about it and tried to not get mad.

He thought about it some more.

And then he had one conclusion.

"...Shut up."

"Yeah, you should." Piccolo butted in. "Just don't get too comfortable next time."

"Did you ever think that I wanted to be in here, nevermind next time that this Total Drama thing happens?" Coachman asked everyone at that room with how loud he was. "Not really, because I have been embarrassed."

"Imagine roasting your own self."

Cassie Cage was poking out of the door, as Coachman glared at her.

"Sorry, was looking for some rocks for someone."

Cassie then went out of the room, as the tension between the ten people that were all hanging out in the same place was palpatable and she didn't want to be in that place.

Coachman wisely slumped down onto his own table, since he wasn't just having his own vacation and Aisling had a good chuckle at that, as did the ladies of the private place.


In better news, Cassie Cage, Samurai Jack, Leshawna and Tails were all trying to stop the dumbest war on this side of the Ultimate Islands universe, mostly because they all got their butts covered with paint and other stuff.

"Y'all need to find those two and tell them that their mothers ain't worth it or something, they ain't stopping for no-one!" Leshawna shouted. "What the hell did we do?"

"We didn't care and got used as human shields." Cassie said. "A classic P.O.W story."

"That's quite fair! Still trying to find a counter for the paint-" Tails couldn't even finish it.

He had to raise up the shields for a little thing.

A massive barrage of paint that came from Riley Freeman, Satori Tendo, JFK and Muscle Man (which isn't that surprising) and these four were not letting up on the quartet.

"I still don't know what we did!" Tails shouted.

"You did some bullshit. I swear you said that you were gonna join my side, but then you didn't and pulled that shit about making love not war! She's a hoe!" Riley argued his case wisely. "And she made some of us lose!"

Tails and Leshawna wondered why he cared so much about a hoe.

"Ignore her, she's crazy." Leshawna wisely remarked. "...Bruh, I don't know why you think it's serious."

"It's because the cleaners have to work much harder than usual and those girls are nice people!" Tails shouted to the other people. "Also, this is so dumb."

"I thought you said this was important."

"It is, though. We're trying to stop a...paintball war!" Tails shouted. "They should just get it together and avoid each other."

While they were doing the talk, all sorts of paintballs were being thrown around onto the other people, Samurai Jack seeing that he could see this going one way.

And left.

"Samurai man, where are you going?" Cassie said. "You could some fun in your life."

"That is true. But I don't like doing this."

"Eh, fair point."

Cassie immediately went back to doing her thing of shooting at Riley, as Samurai Jack sprinted towards...some other place.

"Ay, ay, I thought we hated Catalina!" Riley shouted. "Why y'all hating on me."

"Dude, you're just as annoying and you're not nearly as strategic. Good enough for me!"

"Er-uh, shut up!"

JFK was firing all around, causing that little bit of friendly fire in the process and there it was...

...Catalina, Tanya and Harley coming together to be the mysterious "other gang" warring against a kid and his cohorts that were on a whole different team and sheer chaos was going down.

Tails got his paintball gatling gun ready, as Tanya focused her magic on shooting the paintballs that were making their own mark on the two-tailed fox.

But the two-tailed fox got that gun running and it ran like his inspiration for going fast, shooting his opponents with impunity and his friends with a lack of impunity.

"Nice gun. Now here's mine."

Tanya blasted Tails out of existence and then Muscle Man got blown out, thanks to reasons.

"No way, why?! You were in an alliance with him!" Satori shouted. "No loyalty, lost kid."

Satori got his knees capped by paintball, which hurt more than you'd think.

"Sorry, but I said the truth!" Satori bore the pain.

"Actually you were in the damn way, but this ain't about you!" Catalina shouted.

The three of them were more than enough to take on both of the guys in their own war, Catalina scoping JFK without much of a problem and Muscle Man and her having her own situation.

"Why did you team up with that pendejo?!"

"Catalina, it ain't that serious! You both made us lose, bro."

"Do not."

JFK tried to rizz up Cassie Cage.

"Call me."

JFK got himself a good rock in the face.

"Bro!"

Muscle Man got hit that the GTA classic but with paintballs, so he was down for the count and right next to the completely knocked out JFK, Catalina finally having a victory.

Cassie Cage carried a whole bunch of random rocks, watching the hilariously questionable war that happened between two people who didn't want to admit that they both lost the challenge and Harley swung on her.

Cassie and Harley actually dodged each other's decent attacks, Cassie using the baseball bat's momentum against Harley by grabbing it and Harley ended up bonking on the young soldiers' head.

These two were determined to hurt each other, as the main "warriors" finally met each other and decided to bring some each other some bullets and Leshawna finally got some screentime to herself.

"I don't know what to do with y'all! Y'all got problems!" Leshawna shouted.

"She's completely right, you know. Everyone's lying down like they got shot in an actual war." Cassie shrugged, as Harley realised how stupid it was.

"...Kinda what not I meant."

"Look, I'd rather kick Harley's ass for other reasons!" Cassie stated. "She lost a bet."

Cassie and Harley were fighting each other for no reason now, as the other fellas were on the ground and Leshawna wondered what the fuck happened here.


Riley and Catalina were bouta go to war, as some other eliminated contestants that didn't have screen time were actually sharing their bets in the bet zone that was an empty casino.

You wouldn't expect Luigi, Kasumi, Giovanni and Hsien-Ko to be in here, but that's what they were doing in having a fun time with talking about the game.

"As a small time villain, I can see Pit winning this one!" Giovanni shouted. "He's just a good guy and he has a girlfriend, which is super powerful! I don't have a girlfriend, yet!"

"Oh, that's cool! Bayonetta's still mad overpowered and a lot of people like her, so I bet on her." Luigi calmly replied, as Daisy was winking right there. "Plus-"

"-Your girlfriend likes her, I know, I know." Giovanni interrupted. "Pit's also mad OP."

Giovanni and Luigi still smiled, as did Hsien-Ko a little bit less.

"Hold on, you're both wrong because it's not necessarily about who can wreck everyone else, but it's about who everyone cares about! I'm gonna guess Dante, mostly because he seems to be on a redemption arc." Hsien-Ko stated. "I don't get it."

"Sorry, I thought that Bayo made sense." Luigi timidly spoke. "Anyways, did you hear something?"

"I heard paintballs!" Hsien-Ko like she called it.

Luigi and Hsien-Ko were completely sure some chincanery was about to burst into the room and lo and behold, it sure did with passion and anger that everyone literally heard that saw the two assailants do their thing.

Riley ran in with as much stealth as a GTA robber, which was ironic because Catalina walked in calmly and saw the young kid skulk behind a bunch fo tables.

"Hey, uh, aren't you two epic villains with epic co-operation!"

Giovanni asked that question, not sure of their reason for fighting this time.

He did got shot, but he put up smoke in the room.

"Shut up, momma's boy, I can't see shit!"

"That was my plan of haste." Giovanni boasted, as Kasumi got poped with a paintball. "Miss Hard Hands, make sure she knows the power of my villainy."

"Alright?"

Kasumi wasn't impressed with the nickname, but she did manage to scare everyone in the general of the soupy smog with her attack of pure energy slamming.

The fog was completely smoked out by that one wave of Ki energy that revealed the surprisingly orderly room with Riley coming in with a kick to the Mexican's kinda beautiful face...and the other members wondering what Giovanni was on to, considering that he was painted with those balls.

"Are you learning something?!" Giovanni's enthsuiasm shouted.

The pink-haired villain wannabe tripped on a dropped gun.

"NO!" Kasumi yelled.

Luigi and Hsien-Ko wondered what it was this time, as Riley and Catalina had the colourful glock in their hands and used it well, Riley doing some crazy dodges and Catalina getting shot most of the time.

Mostly because they didn't want to get involved with their bullshit for the umpteenth, their faces completely covered with flour, jam and other foods that Deadpool loaded into that cannon.

"I want-a do my girlfriend." Luigi said, shaking with fear. "I mean-"

"Uh, good for you."

"I want to hang out-a with my girlfriend!" Luigi quickly corrected.

Riley had a little bit of paint on her, as Catalina was covered with a ton of a paint.

"Bitch, you lose. Anyways, I messed up, bitch and I'm still better than you!"

With that epic conclusion, Catalina has lost the war and she was tired.

"Why the fuck am I fighting some kid? Who raised you, some idiot?" Catalina said.

"Uh..."

Riley thought about belts.

"...nah, but he ain't great. Still raised me better than you 'cause you're a hoe!"

"I don't believe you."

Catalina then walked away, scoffing at Riley, but not before saying this.

"Come on, I have better shit to do. Stop asking me."

Catalina then slammed the door shut and it was quite fine, Riley Freeman smiling, Hsien-Ko looking exasperated and Luigi getting out of the fake armour of the table...and now, he was looking up at a mad Kasumi.


Noah, Falco, Riku and Khun were unsurprisingly weirded out by the sheer existence of Darkness and Genos for one very obvious reason and if you've seen Konosuba and One Punch Man, these five sharing the same space on the edge of the pool with somewhat unimpressed looks.

Mostly because of the exercises going on.

"So, I heard that this lady apparently has moves on making herself invincible, which considering her general state, is probably impossible." Noah remarked. "More importantly, she can't hit a single man."

"Just don't talk about her please. I don't know why she freaks me out." Riku tried to deflect. "Something about that smile reminds me of, uh, some lady in a black uniform."

Khun was intent on listening, Falco stared at Riku for entirely different reasons.

"Yeah, what kind of black uniform."

"Some giant thing that's like a hoodie that protects from darkness."

"That makes sense!"

Riku was a bit surprised.

"It doesn't make sense, though." Riku stated. "Still protects from the darkness."

"Okay, what even is the darkness?" Khun asked. "Some kind of thing that bad people usually have."

Riku was thinking about it, mostly because he did not want to see.

"HARDER!"

"I understand, but your strength is failing." Genos said. "You seem to be getting stronger out of this!"

Darkness had that blush, if you wanted to know, as Genos was provided another one of a strong punch and he hit her where she wanted to be hit.

"Oh yes!"

"Do you have a reason for doing this?" Genos suspiciously asked.

"Yes, to be a better crusader."

Genos processed it, as the other four dudes were trying to look away from the situation that was going on in front of their own faces and he had an great answer.

"Good point."

Noah couldn't stop noticing Darkness' everything, as Genos went for another hit to satisifying the nerves of getting stronger definitely.

"Seriously, is no-one going to stop her from doing that?"

"Not really, they're both adults and I'm pretty sure that Genos has as much idea as we have about why she's like that." Khun remarked. "So, it's best to tell them something."

Khun got up.

"Hold up, can you two do this somewhere else?" He continued to spoke. "Can I say for both of you to do this in the gym, where there's space to get stronger and hone her power."

"I tried to answer, but she said that the outside air exhales it better."

Darkness had quite the smug grin.

"Yeah, I don't follow." Khun said. "And more importantly, I assume that Miss Darkness knows that she's being a bit cheeky by having it outside!"

"Maybe I am! So, tell me more!" Darkness butted in proudly.

"Do it inside or you're going have to go through me!"

"Sorry, Genos, I do not need your training no more!"

Genos understandably bowed at the blonde no-hit crusader, as he still had his whole duds on and then did something unimportant, as the other three dudes finally had their own conversation

"Even if it was for only a few hours, I think that I learned something from training you...just not in the way that I expected."

Darkness was already in the fighting stance.

"Thank you for the honours!"

"I'll go now."

Genos definitely went with him flying from the scene, leaving the exiled prince with the infinite case up against the blonde no-hit crusader with a love of pain and some people wanted to watch that.

"I'm not into fighting in general, especially ones with obvious conclusions. I'd rather hang out with more of the older Total Drama contesntants and they didn't pick their best, let me tell you." Noah explained himself a little too much.

"Then leave, genius, this could actually be a great fight!" Falco shouted. "Even if the odds are stocked in the white-haired guy's favour."

Noah rolled his eyes, as Riku widened his eyes.

"I'm talking about Khun, dummy!"

Riku understood things completely.

"Ohhhhhhh."

And so a dumb fight between two different people started happening and it happened off-screen.


Speaking of other Total Drama contestants, Owen was having a good time with Eva surprisingly thanks to the passage of time and a good chunk of other people that were not really Noah, thanks to them just being there for exercise.

And volleyball.

"Watch and learn, guys, you're about to experience the best sport in the world." Oikawa grinned. "And I'm going to help my protege in teaching volleyball."

"First off, I'm not teaching. Secondly, me, Eva and the annoying fat guy were already doing some volleyball." Kageyama butted in. "Thirdly, he's right about it being the best sport in the world."

"Oh, Tobio, why don't you shut up."

"Because you forced me."

These two still didn't really like each other, if you couldn't tell.

"Bruh, then stop this stuff. No-one cares about volleyball being the best sport in the world, even if I know you're wrong." Eva grinned. "MMA."

"Alright, let's not talk about wrong opinions." Oikawa dismissed her.

Oikawa looked at the rest of them with sheer confidence, as Kageyama looked right at a displeased Mystique Sonia.

"Wow, he does like talking a lot." Mystique Sonia whispered.

"I don't know if it's just that, maybe it's his passion." Kageyama said. "I would know."

Mystique Sonia didn't care that much.

"Does it matter."

"It does, obviously!"

These dudes actually got the attention of a newcomer in the building and his surly look wasn't really that justified, considering that it was about to get fun.

"Hey, Noah, what's with you?!" Owen screamed. "We're about to have some great volleyballs!"

"I saw Darkness enjoying pain again."

"Oh."

Owen knew the gravity of that.

"At least she's getting stronger, maybe!"

"Emphasis on maybe, she still can't hit a single thing." Mystique Sonia butted in, as Owen and Noah looked at her incredulously.

"I tried to train her, which is really hard! Training people's hard, but she was extra hard!"

"That's some truth, right there-"

Oikawa snapped his fingers smugly, as everyone paid attention to him in this moment for one single game of pickup volleyball, which started off in a weird fashion.

Owen, Noah and Eva were one side, Mystique Sonia, Oikawa and Kageyama was on the otherside.

Mostly because Owen was too big to not get a volleyball stuck in his belly button and it slipped out in slightly disgustiing fashion especially when he caught the almost horizontal spike that Oikawa did.

"Ah, good game, guys!"

Owen noticed the disgusted looks.

"What's up with you guys?"

"I don't want to say it." Kageyama said. "Do you wash your belly button?"

"Do I have to?!"

Everyone didn't throw up, but got the taste of vomit.

"Sorry, I just wanted to play some volleyball."

"Washing your bellybutton isn't that hard. A better excuse to switch teams."

Kageyama scoffed, as Noah and Eva glared at Owen, Oikawa sat down with the highest of regrets and Mystique Sonia wasn't blessed...and then someone else arrived.

Ram (that one miserable pink-haired demon maid) and Judy Hopps, who wasn't surprised.

"Of course, he'd forget to wash his bellybutton in the process." Ram snarked. "Useless man."

"Hey, he's not useless!" Judy shouted. "He's upbeat and strangely good at challenges."

"And that was 15 years ago."

"Well, shut up, he still did that mostly because there's too many people."

The pink-haired demon maid thought about it, as Judy looked offended.

"And he got eliminated early."

And there was eight people in this she-bang.


Speaking of other people, Daphne Blake and Tiny Tina had nothing in common except for the one thing that they shared in common...trying to find a certain ninja.

"I'm going to be honest, why would you think he would stay on his island?" Legoshi asked.

"As someone who's investigating because I'd never get the chance to come back here to blow up more stuff in the game if I blew up stuff here, I don't know."

That was definitely Tiny Tina.

"Yeah, yeah, uh, just don't involve me."

"Don't worry, we were on the same team."

"Not really." Legoshi answered. "Just don't send a bomb next time!"

"No promises!"

Legoshi then slammed the door in her face, as Tiny Tina skipped away with speed and excitement with dropping a little something that was in the room of the hiding herbi-phile wolf and Daphne just got done with someone.

"I got done talking with Johnny Bravo, who doesn't understand that I have a boyfriend that annoys me sometimes." Daphne remarked. "Please tell me that you didn't-"

Tiny Tina slid in there.

"I did put a paint bomb in there."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Why don't ask other questions like how my bombs are made or how I'm doing too bad?"

"Because I know the answers to both...which I want to forget!"

These two were in the middle of the mess that was about to ensure when the speakers turned on with quite the horrible noise and Chris was about to speak these words.

"Okay, hotel guests, since you all are eliminated, a lot of you haven't voted in a long time and tonight, you all are going to vote off two of the remaining campers that are still in the game! Wherever you like 'em or not, two campers will be voted off! Hahaha-"

Chris probably laughed more, but the impact from that short statement was felt and impacted whoever heard that message, Daphne taking the time to process what he meant.

On the other hand.

"Wow, as a fellow crazy lady, I don't want to vote out Yumeko, but I do want to vote out Sokka. He ain't crazy."

"This is a serious vote, whoever you vote might be mad at you for eliminating them!" Daphne shouted.

"No, hear me out! He's not crazy and he's just sliding through the competition." Tiny Tina explained succinctly. "And that's my reason."

"I'm gonna vote for Lowain, if that's fine with you. Something tells me that being a boyfriend to someone who eliminated two monsters means he knows strategy." Daphne explained better. "Also, what would Sokka do."

"Win money, fuck his girlfriend, be a tribe guy."

"...Ok."

Daphne ignored Tiny Tina after that out of pocket comment, the two of them going their own seperate ways.

'

In the kitchen, Soma and Min Min were cookin' and they were cooking up some good stuff for many of the contestants who basically rung that bell and waited for the cooks in the place.

Unsurprisingly, those two shared the same vote.

"You know, maybe voting for Bayonetta isn't so bad." Soma shrugged.

"Come on, she's only the most powerful contestant over here." Min Min said. "And she also her own alliance, so you know, not so bad."

"Alright, alright, I get it!"

The two cooks were doing this while cooking their butts off, the rest of the eliminated contestants were having an ridiculous discussion about this exact thing, while actually having some proper screen time for once.

"My gosh, you're boring. You're not voting for Yumeko, are you!" Michiru shouted.

"Hey, don't accost her for that. She probably thought that everyone would vote for her." Sammy stated. "Which makes sense!"

"I know, right! Sorry I'm shouting, but Bayonetta's stronger right now." Min Min replied just as loud towards the other two. "And Yumeko's probably going to get eliminated."

Michiru and Sammy thought about it, mostly since Min Min just wanted to cook and they were thinking more and more...and more, as Kipo Oak sat down calmly and there was an awkward silence that didn't need to plugged in at all.

But it was anyways.

"You ever got the thought that what you said was going to be dumb?" Arle asked.

For the record, she was a Puyo-popping witch.

"Like anything you said you wasn't going to be taking seriously?"

"Come on, it's not going to be stupid! It could be very smart!" Kipo shouted. "Tell us, we won't laugh."

"Honestly, I want to vote for Tanjiro 'cause he's too strong and too nice."

"...Why would you think that he wouldn't be a serious vote?" Sammy said. "He's that plus he's cute and has a cute sister too and no, not in that way, obviously!"

The rest of them had a good chuckle.

"Still not gonna vote for him, but you had a good reason."

"Oh, thanks, some people laughed at me for not voting for Heavy." Arle said.

Then Sammy and Michiru laughed interrupting Arle mid-sentence.

"Which I don't get, he seems like a funny guy that almost got eliminated."

"Okay, now that's kinda hilarious!"


With almost everybody that was eliminated since Episode 13 showing up, there was bound to be a few free spirits that were doing their own in the place, minus a certain ninja, a cook from New Orleans and anti-authority skater.

Well, sort of in the skater's case.

Amelia, Carmelita, Penny and Robyn looked at the most recent painting that was stuck to a certain wall of the hotel, knowing that both pairs had nothing in common than looking at Gum's newest piece of graffiti.

"I'm not going to lie, that is still pretty cool." Robyn remarked. "I'm guessing she hates wolves."

"Well, she is the wolf, so you're super wrong there." Penny said. "Okay, now please don't wash it off!"

"Yeah, please!"

The stern captain and the interpol officer were each holding a water bucket.

"Do you think spray paint even works that way? Besides I'm doing a community service by washing it." Carmelita carried that comically large bucket like it wasn't a problem.

"Chris being in prison would count as community service, we're only removing bad art off these walls." Amelia answered. "This is just here to gain attention."

Robyn and Penny looked at the art of a wolf eating a thing on the wall with some kind of appreciation.

"You know, you're just mad because you can't make art!" Robyn said.

"How do would you know that?" Carmelita stated. "She's a criminal guilty of tress-passing and painting the walls with graffiti, simple as that."

"Still doesn't mean you can wash it away!"

"Can we just agree that voting for Nobara's fine? She has the kind of strategic power that no-one expects her to have, but she got it through alliances anyways."

"Yeah, we can agree. Still don't know why you want to wash this off so bad." Penny finally said something, as Carmelita knew her reason and Amelia got more determined. "...My dad wouldn't like it."

"My dad's a wolfwalker."

"Shut up, he's not."

"He is!"

"He is not one!"

"Then he's a werewolf or whatever-"

Anyways, the artwork on the wall got splashed with the water and it...got some minor water damage, even with the deluge that was on the floor and this scene got done abruptly.


In the twlight before the night, there was a certain bunch of people that both didn't want to be filmed or wanted to be exploited for their vote, which Azula was trying to do.

They were on a slightly seperate part of the island that was simulteanously well-hidden if you didn't know how to fly and gave great views for obvious reasons.

"Fuck you and your princessing ways." Gum stated. "You're not going to change my vote from Yumeko because she would play people."

"You know, she's exactly right, Azula, you're wrong!" Tiana said.

She might have been hurt, but she knew that she cooked her butt off.

"Plus you only came because we were opportune votes for your scheme to eliminate Dante, which isn't happening!" Gum shouted. "I've seen your game."

"I got tricked by a wise guy voodoo man before and you're not even close to being that convincing." Tiana answered. "Make your move, Azula."

Tiana and Gum looked at Azula, who just laughed and understood what they were going for, especially since she could fly in her beachwear.

"That is fair, but how about you listen to the facts about why I decided to vote for the demon hunter, considering the fact that his game is by far the best thing about him. He is obnoxious, a major threat and much more importantly, been in my kind of alliance, so he would be hard to convince to eliminate. My reasoning is that Yumeko would eventually run out of steam, since she is not the physical type, doesn't care about winning and would waste the money anyways."

Azula made sure that every word was heard, giving a serious face.

"You should think about it or else, Dante might win."

Tiana mulled it over, as Gum glared at the princess of fire.

"I know what you're going to say, criminal, so keep your mouth shut for once."

"Trust me, I'm still voting for Yumeko, she did destroy your alliance and friendship."

Gum pointed two fingers at Azula, who glared right back at her, as Tiana could sense that it was going to be tense tonight.


With all of the eliminated contestants gathered for something special, there was only one more person to show up in a showy fashion and some of them waited valiantly on the side of the massive pool near the beach that was mostly constructed over the space of a month, surprisingly enough.

"It should have been me coming back to the game! I've got sports experience, I've got more gold medals and half of these guys will stomp the other half...which I could fight."

"Lynn, you're probably going to get stomped, especially if you talk like that." Squigly honestly informed. "Those guys who returned are still in the game."

"Yeah, you wouldn't believe me, I would be right there with them!"

"Just calm down, you might have gotten eliminated in the challenge after you come back."

"Maybe you don't believe in me making it quite far. I know how to strategise...in sports, which definitely works in Total Drama."

"I don't...really know if you know how Total Drama works."

Haida finally chimed in awkwardly.

"It's more like a game where you try make a good first impression and, uh, strategise, you know. And try to not get eliminated like that other show."

Lynn and Squigly AKA Sienna were giving him that stare.

"Sorry, just thought I could put in my own two cents, you know. Haha!"

Haida the hyena disappeared from that conversation, as Sienna shook her head, as Lynn grinned once again.

"Listen to the hyena freaky guy, I've got good socials and probably would ace half the challenges, more than enough to win this one!" Lynn declared. "All you've got is some ridiculous powers, so I'd say we're equals."

"Hold on, now you're just-"

A massive puff of smoke stunned everyone, regardless of how used they were of some crazy bullshit, bringing in the host with the most.

"Welcome, guests, the episode needed a lot more of me in it and I bet a lot of you will be pleased with my presence! A lot of you had thoughts and talked about strategy, the boring stuff and I heard that nobody likes the challenges here! Unfortunately, you're not the audience, who loved 'em and today, there's no challenge!"

Everyone didn't want to listen to that.

"You losers are in control of the vote and hopefully, you've had good choices! Or not, because it's really funny how Leshawna got eliminated-"

Chris ducked under a whole rock.

"-but that was fifteen years ago! We're kinda overdue for that! Two dudes with the most votes joins you guys at the Hotel McLean, which is opening soon!"

"Uh, huh, no way! You're not going to make us vote out Dante!"

A bell rung, as Leshawna realised her mistake.

"Yeah, that Dante guy's not going to get my vote!"

Panchito slapped his own face, a Mexican bird man doing a facepalm.

"Leshawna, Panchito, we can all agree that Yumeko's quite the player, huh!"

Joey bragged, subtly voting for Yumeko.

"Yeah, I really like how Dante deals with Yumeko!"

Owen got slapped by Joey, even if Yumeko got a second vote finally.

These four were only one out of the 110 potential votes that were plainly counted for the challenges, especially with none of the major characters having their own vote at the moment.

"No way, we're not having any Bayonetta in here!" JFK screamed.

"Yeah, fuck Yumeko, she's a new kind of hoe!" Riley shouted.

Yumeko got 3 votes.

"I don't like Yumeko, that's all there is to it." Azula said.

"I swear she's pure evil. Yumeko's got...something in her." Tron Bonne added.

And then it was 5.

"Screw Yumeko, she ain't serious at all!" Muscle Man shouted.

"She's plain dangerous and never mind those crazy situations that she put everyone in. Rich, smart, gambling genius Yumeko, ugh."

Eva got an side-eye.

"Realistically speaking, it can't really be no-one else other than Bayonetta, she's a powerful strategist and probably could kill me with looks alone." Oikawa remarked.

"...I'm not gonna say that it's not true, but I'm gonna say that the Nobara is kinda weak and bad at teamwork." Kageyama spoke.

"Nobara, dude."

Nobara had 2, Yumeko had 9, Bayonetta had 2 and Dante had 3 and these votes were definitely going to be very awkward for everyone in this place, except for someone else.

"Yo, why are people voting for Scott Pilgrim, he doesn't seem like a bad dude!" Johnny shouted. "He helped me with getting a girlfriend by saying that I really could get one!"

"Great one, dude. He only said that because you kept on asking for Mr. Scott Pilgrim for advice and it was some crazy good advice!" Jude shouted.

"Are you serious, why does it have to be Scott and not Nobara?" Tiana said. "He can't do a challenge if he tried!"

"Yeah, Scott sucks."

Scott Pilgrim now had 6 votes, which meant nothing compared to Yumeko's 14 votes and once again, most of the key players weren't voting.

"Scott has all this extra knowledge and is coasting!" Satori shouted. "Coasting!"

"You can't just steal my whole sentence about Scott Pilgrim." Bugs remarked.

"Those are my thoughts." Satori said.

"I can't believe that he's still here. Scott Pilgrim, I mean."

Then it was Scott's 9 and Yumeko's 15 and the biggest man in the room had an important question.

"Hold on, can you vote for two people?" Owen asked.

"Yeah, but only two dudes!"

Coachman and Pinstripe shared some knowing looks, as Noah had to say something.

"Yeah, I can see where this is going..." Noah was disappointed. "...Then again, Yumeko's a horrible person and Scott returned to do nothing, so it's understandable."

Pinstripe turned towards him.

"Don't look at me like that."

Samurai Jack knew his two answers.


18 campers were about to turn into 16 campers, which was very apparent with the chicanery that was going on with all of the remaining players in the game who were only discussing strategy.

"Random question, so what does Taz like?" Scott Pilgrim asked. "Since I'm not into all of the Looney Tunes stuff."

"I don't know, why are you even asking me?!" Pit shouted.

These two were hiding behind a massive table that they...just had.

"Can't you just shoot him?"

"No! He'd somehow catch it."

Taz then stopped spinning like he heard back from Chris McLean, who teleported back into the situation with an incredible amount of smoke and whatnot with some of the other players coming back into the now "slightly" messy cafeteria.

Mostly because the tables were set-up.

"Whoa...I was not expecting this place to be this clean! Okay, I was expecting for it to be a bit less clean, but you know, two of you campers have to go!"

"I wouldn't be surprised if Yumeko went. She plays the game like she failed a psych check." Scott remarked, as Yumeko stared at his back. "At the same time...you know."

"I have qualities is what you were going to say, was it?" Yumeko remarked. "Coming from someone who probably is orbiting in an alliance, that would be fair."

"Wait, how would you even know that?"

Reigen ran in with one question.

"I'm eliminated, aren't I?"

"Nope, Scott and Yumeko got at least 60 votes each! Mostly 'cause someone reminded me of the fact that the losers' can double vote!"

Reigen's mouth was agape, as Scott Pilgrim shut his mouth.

"Well, it was a great game that I played, I got a boyfriend in the form of the somewhat formidable Lowain, I destroyed at least two alliances, though Dante played his part and more importantly...there's really no villains, just strategists! The losers chose well, too!"

"Where did I get eliminated from?!" Scott Pilgrim shouted.

...

...

...

Scott Pilgrim and Yumeko were finally out of the competition, the duo being determined to make sure that they got some last second screentime.

"This is like that black woman's elimination!" Scott Pilgrim shouted. "Whyyyyy-"

Scott Pilgrim got hit with the Doppler Effect.

"Alright, it's time for the episode to be over! I got paid good today and sure, there was some appearance from villain, but the last villain left these islands today...or did they?"

Chris put in his typical awkward space for the music.

"Find out strategies next time on Total Drama: Ultimate Islands!"


To be continued in Episode 33, where the 16 remaining contestants may not be villains at all and some of them having upset the entire season (Reg and Heavy) and yet, there's still so many challenges left untouched and untamed even from the worst season of Total Drama!

Pahkitew Island got a whole island as part of the season, along with a major challenge focused on it, All-Stars had the boat challenge, "inspired" a treasure hunting challenge and so combining the ice cream making and the pancake challenges for one more inspired challenge would be inevitable.

BTW, All-Stars even has worse challenges, it's how much stuff in that season is uninspired (Though, I haven't properly watched it.)

The reasons of these votes range from admiring the achievements of the person that they don't like to sheer panic to being lame! And also, the hotel has gotten fixed up since Episode 9 thanks to questionable labour practices.

Chris doesn't like unions, if you couldn't tell.

More importantly, the next episode should bring a spotlight on certain characters like Reigen, Nobara and Bayonetta with stuff.