So this is a cliché idea that I wanted to try my hand at because I've always found writing this fanfiction trope hilarious. You can probably already guess from the description exactly what this cliché is going to be lol. I know I already have some Hellsing WIPs, but I wanted something more light-hearted. Characters may be a bit OOC for comedic purposes, but hopefully it's not too bad or noticeable. I hope that you do enjoy the story though, and please feel free to leave reviews to let me know your thoughts on the story as they always help me out a great deal. What canon is this set in? I have no clue. A mixture of all of them as always I suppose.
Rated M for graphic violence, gore, and strong language. All that wonderful Hellsing stuff.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing. No money is being made out of this and no copyright infringement is intended. This is written purely for fun.
~ Double Trouble ~
1: A Strange Find
"Officer Victoria, we need back-up. I repeat: we need back-up. Over," came the static voice of one of the vampire's fellow soldiers from her communicator. Seras pressed the device further against her ear and frowned, gripping her gun even tighter in her other hand. The panic in his voice was obvious, though she had no idea why. This was just a simple routine ghoul mission. She wasn't even sure why she had been sent on this mission in the first place.
"Lieutenant Hirst, are you there?" Seras called into the device, but the only further response she was met with was static. It sent a shiver up her spine. Something else was in there. This wasn't the simple ghoul mission like she had thought. Her throat tightened as she wished that her master was here right now. But Seras couldn't keep being a coward. Her fellow soldiers needed her.
Taking a deep breath, Seras made her way from her guarding post around the perimeter of the abandoned warehouse and stepped further into its grounds. The air was heavy with fog, creating an orange glow as the distant streetlamps reflected off the water droplets. There was a few centimetres of snow covering the ground like a dusting of icing sugar. Seras followed the footsteps left behind by the soldiers, biting her lip in concentration as she did her best to stretch her senses, trying to pick up on anything unusual.
The sound of gunfire had died down a long time ago, and not a single groan of a ghoul could be heard. But yet Seras could still sense a threatening presence. Its power was almost suffocating. Whatever it was, it was far stronger than what she was. Thinking about calling upon her master's help, Seras suddenly froze before she could reach her communicator as she caught the scent of blood. It was enough to send her starved body into a near frenzy, but she pushed down the monster within her. She would not give in to bloodlust! These were her fellow soldiers! She couldn't give up on them! She couldn't – wouldn't – hurt them!
"Hello?" the young vampire called out as she made her way through the destroyed entrance.
No reply.
An old reception area stood before her, covered in dust, mud and graffiti. Crude drawings and occult symbols decorated the stone walls, clearly created by kids in an attempt to scare off any future visitors to the site. Seras rolled her eyes, reminded of her police officer days, arresting vandals that gave her nothing but lip. She was glad that she no longer had to deal with those kinds of chavs. No. Now she just had to deal with the undead and the supernatural.
Seras gulped before focusing her senses on trying to find her comrades. The warehouse was completely silent except for the odd creak of metal in the cold, winter air. The scent of blood was growing stronger and stronger. Her entire body burned with yearning. She had to shake her head to force herself to focus. Oh her master was going to have a field day taunting her over her weakness.
Growling to herself, the young vampire pressed on, always keeping her gun at the ready as she carefully rounded corners, her blue eyes now a glowing red from the scent of blood. Her vampire senses allowed her little trouble when making her way through the darkness. There wasn't a single shine of torchlight from the other soldiers, and nothing but static continued to echo from her communicator. It was like something out of a horror movie, and it was very foreboding.
Her footsteps barely made a sound as she climbed up a set of stairs that led towards the back of the warehouse. Ghoul bodies lay scattered before her, showing that her soldiers had fought their way through this direction. The stench of death and decay hung in the air, and the draculina almost choked on it while her vampire side was positively wild with desire and glee. She kept her cool though, pushing the plastic flaps that covered one of the doorways aside to enter what looked like old offices. A few desks littered the grounds, along with chairs that remained either intact and covered in dust by the desks, or they had been flung around the room, some of them broken into a few pieces.
The glow of a streetlamp shone through the smashed glass of the window, and Seras felt her blood run cold as she sensed that she wasn't alone in the room. She gasped in fear, flinging herself around so that her body was facing the threat, gun raised and ready for battle. However, she quickly froze at the scene that greeted her. The female vampire blinked. Then she blinked again. Yet the image before her refused to fade.
A little girl was sat with her back towards her, her long straight black hair flowing out behind her like a cape. She wore a long dress, but Seras could not determine the colour or any designs upon the attire as it was covered almost completely in crimson blood. The girl was kneeled down, facing a body, but Seras barely registered it; she was too captivated by the child.
No doubt sensing her presence, the girl appeared to jump slightly before turning around, her red eyes locking on Seras as thousands of emotions flickered through them: confusion, apprehension, excitement, disgust, something that Seras didn't quite recognised before they finally fully settled on confusion again. In response, Seras raised her gun, pointing it at the child. She wasn't human, that much was clear. But what was the draculina supposed to do? Without a doubt, this was the powerful creature she had sensed, but… she was a child.
Who was she? What was she doing here? Seras subtly sniffed the air and the child did the same as she stood up, never once taking her eyes off Seras. Now that she was standing and facing the draculina, Seras could finally determine more information about her. Shockingly, the girl appeared to be no more than three years of age. She looked so tiny and delicate. Her black bangs almost fell entirely over her eyes as she watched and waited. Her lips were parted slightly, revealing tiny fangs that peaked out ever so slightly. Her skin was as white as the snow outside, and she had a chubby little face that Seras would have found adorable if it wasn't for the crazed look in the girl's eyes. It almost looked scarily familiar.
Seras was drawn out of her musings when the child sniffed the air again, appearing to grow more and more confused. She took one step forward, and Seras took one step back, never once lowering her weapon. Was this child the cause of all of this? She smelt like a vampire, but that was impossible! There was no such thing as vampire children… was there? Then again, it wasn't so long back that Seras thought vampires didn't exist at all…
"Mamă?" the girl spoke in a high pitched voice, sounding unsure as she continued to stare at Seras through narrowed eyes.
"Huh?" was all Seras could dumbly respond with.
The little girl approached, and Seras couldn't help but lower her gun, feeling rather disturbed that she had been pointing it at a mere child. Yet she refused to let her guard down. This could be some sort of trick after all. Sir Hellsing would definitely want to know about all of this. However, Seras could already feel a headache forming at the report that she would have to write on this, as was the Hellsing leader's obsession with paperwork.
The draculina was startled when the girl began talking in a language that Seras couldn't understand or recognise. She then stiffened as the child latched herself onto one of her legs, staring up at her with a bright, albeit crazed, smile. Seras flailed her arms, unsure of what to do. Her eyes finally broke free from the little girl's ensnarement to look at the bodies lying on the floor before her. She gasped as she caught sight of her comrades that had radioed her a mere few minutes ago. They lay in a pool of their own blood, their heads having been ripped off and strewn carelessly by the side of them.
Seras then looked down at the little girl in disbelief, starting to feel sick. The girl was looking back up at her, looking strangely frustrated as she remained clinging to her leg, her little fingers digging into the fabric of her stocking.
"Did… did you do this?" Seras finally brought herself to stutter out.
The girl finally beamed again and nodded proudly before pouting. "She got the humans first though." She turned and pointed towards the unconscious female freak she had been kneeling before earlier. "I knocked her out though. It was easy-peasy. Freak scum!"
Seras then watched, dumbfounded as the little girl let go of her leg to kick the head of the unconscious vampire. Her eye twitched as the little girl sat back down again, looking as if she was playing with the body. She dug her fingers into the flesh of her abdomen, pulling out a string of intestine and twirling it between her fingers in fascination. Okay, Seras was now definitely sure she was going to throw up.
"You can come out now, I took care of them," the little girl sighed out before looking towards one of the cupboards pushed against the far wall.
The draculina's eyes widened as another little girl around the same age stepped cautiously out from behind the door. Her eyes too were red, and she smelt like a strong and powerful vampire. However, this one appeared much more timid. Her hair was fairer than anything Seras had ever seen, and it almost seemed to blend with her alabaster skin. She wore a red, sleeveless dress that fell to her knees where it flared out slightly. Black tights covered her legs and her feet were donned with black mary-janes.
"Are you sure?" the blonde girl asked, her voice soft and quiet, her eyes distracted by the bodies of the soldiers.
"Yes, look! I captured a freak!" the dark haired girl boasted as she pulled out what looked like a kidney from the vampire's mutilated abdomen, holding it towards the other girl.
The blonde girl didn't say anything as she accepted the other girl's gruesome gift. She stared at it in fascination before squeezing it until the organ popped in her hand, splattering blood and flesh everywhere. She giggled in response before she finally looked up and caught sight of Seras. The draculina could only stare as the blonde girl seemed to flinch back in shock before looking as confused as the other girl had done. However, she took less time to get over it as she too dashed forward and latched herself onto the same leg the other girl had done, practically cutting off her circulation.
"Mummy, I'm sorry! It wasn't our fault! I promise!" the blonde girl began sobbing.
The other girl rolled her eyes at the other girl's behaviour. "Stop snivelling, we're still alive, aren't we? I told you I could handle things, and mother's here now so everything is fine."
"Ummm…" Seras squeaked before pinching herself on her wrist.
The dark haired girl then giggled as she pulled the heart from the freak vampire's chest and crushed it within her grasp. The freak immediately turned to ash which the dark haired girl proceeded to kick before turning back to Seras, giggling again.
"But mummy, why do you look so silly?" she questioned.
"What?!" Seras finally felt herself snap.
"I told you she would be mad!" the blonde one cried out as she backed off slightly, her little body trembling before she pointed her finger towards the other girl. "It was her idea! She was the one who dared me to leave the nest!"
The dark haired girl gasped. "You grass! It was only a joke! You're the one who went and got yourself captured by that witch!"
"You're the one who decided to mess with her potions!"
"I didn't see you coming up with any bright ideas to get us out of there!"
They both then started yelling at each other in that unfamiliar language, and all Seras could do was stand there and gawp. Did they just call her what she thought they had? What the fuck was going on?! They must be confused. Maybe the freak vampire had done something to them. Had she turned the children herself? No, that couldn't be it. Their scent… it was pure vampire. A strong and powerful bloodline at that, reminding Seras of her master's scent and aura. Was this a trick? A test? Seras didn't know what the hell she was supposed to do.
"Officer Victoria!" someone yelled from behind, snapping the draculina out of her panicked thoughts.
The two girls froze as Seras' back-up finally arrived, all of them aiming their weapons in random directions before they caught sight of the massacre before them. Some of the rookies gagged while the veterans were more hardened towards such carnage. But the majority of them became confused when they caught sight of the two little girls. So Seras wasn't imagining things… they really were here…
"Who are they?" one of the soldiers demanded, aiming his gun at them.
"Victoria, explain yourself!" the superior officer demanded.
"I… ummm…" was all Seras could squeak before the two girls quickly darted behind her, clinging onto her skirt for dear life as they peered at the soldiers with fear, anger and suspicion.
The soldiers gasped at this and Seras could feel sweat trickling down her forehead as all weapons were aimed at them. She held up her hands in surrender, smiling awkwardly before moving one arm further up to rub the back of her neck. Where did she even begin?
"I… I don't know," the draculina explained. "I just found them here. I don't know who they are."
The two girls behind her stiffened before they glanced up at her in horror and confusion. The two of them sniffed at her again while all Seras could do was remain frozen. After they had finished smelling her they seemed satisfied with whatever they had discovered as they clung to Seras even tighter.
"What have you done to our mother?" the dark haired girl growled out.
The soldiers blinked at her. Then that's when the chuckles began.
"Why Victoria, I had no idea you had kids. How old were you when you had them? Fifteen? Sixteen?" one of them joked and that's all it took to set some of the others off into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
Seras flushed before growling at them. "They're not mine! I have no idea what's going on here!"
"Mummy, please, it's me: Lily," the blonde girl begged, taking hold of Seras' gloved hand in her tiny one. Seras looked down at her and winced at the sight of tears that were once again forming in the little girl's eyes. Oh god. What was she meant to do?!
Smiling awkwardly, Seras crouched down to their level, setting her gun aside to maybe help them feel more at ease. "Look, I don't know what's going on here, but I'm pretty sure you're confused. I'm not your mother."
"Yes you are," the dark haired girl argued back, looking annoyed. "They've done something to you!" She pointed an accusing finger at the soldiers who laughed even louder.
"Can vampires even have kids?" one of the soldiers asked between chuckles.
"No they cannot!" Seras snapped back. "There's got to be some perfectly logical explanation to this!"
"Which is?" another soldier pressed.
Seras groaned. "I'm working on it!"
"Don't worry!" the dark haired girl proclaimed as she took hold of Seras' other hand. "We'll get you back home and fix this!"
"Girls, please, listen to me –"
"You probably just got your skull smashed in again," the dark haired girl mused.
More laughter came from the soldiers.
"But Luna, how are we even going to get home?" the blonde girl, Lily, questioned. "We don't even know where we are."
"Girls –"
The laughter grew louder again.
"I'll get us back!" Luna boasted.
"That's what you said last time!" Lily was growing more impatient. "We should just wait for father to find us."
"ENOUGH!" Seras yelled, practically vibrating the whole building and silencing everyone there. The two girls shrunk back slightly, averted their eyes as they clasped their hands behind their backs and bowed their heads. The soldiers instantly stopped laughing, glancing at Seras with a mixture of shock and fear. Meanwhile, Seras was busy fighting off a throbbing headache from the confusion of everything. She didn't care that she had just yelled and had probably frightened anyone within a five mile radius. She just wanted to get this sorted – fast!
She took a deep breath to calm herself. "So let me get this straight, your names are Lily and Luna, right?"
They both smiled and nodded, looking hopeful.
"You somehow escaped from wherever it is you were, got kidnapped by a witch, messed with some potions and somehow ended up here where you killed the freak vampire who had turned those soldiers into ghouls. And for some reason, you think I'm your mother?" Her voice raised a few octaves at that last part.
"You are our mother," Lily replied, looking increasingly scared.
Seras sighed in frustration.
"Victoria, if I may," the captain interjected, "this might be some kind of trick? Maybe these two were dumped here to cause chaos and potentially kill us."
Seras frowned. "But if they're meant to kill us, why haven't they done it already?"
A few of the soldiers stepped back nervously while Luna looked up at Seras, tugging on the hand she was still latched onto.
"Can we mother? Can we kill them?" She bounced excitedly. "We've never got to kill a human before! Let alone get to see one!"
Seras' eye once again twitched. "No! There will be no killing anybody!"
Luna groaned in defeat.
The draculina supposed that was maybe one advantage to their delusions of her being their mother: it should mean that they'll listen to her. She hoped anyway… Luna definitely seemed to be the loose cannon out of the two of them. The images of her playing with the freak's entrails sent a shudder of disgust through her entire body. But maybe these two were just children. They seemed to act like it, and they had seemed scared when the soldiers burst into the room. All of this was obviously needing to be sorted by somebody much more senior.
Sighing, Seras once again activated her communicator and radioed through to Sir Integra.
"Sir Integra, this is Officer Victoria, requesting assistance. Over."
All was quiet for a few moments before a familiar voice greeted them, only not the one Seras was hoping for.
"Sir Integra is currently in a meeting, Miss Victoria," came Walter's response. "Is there any way that I can be of assistance?"
"Ummm…" Seras tried to think of the best way to explain things. "We've found something on our mission. The freaks and ghouls have been taken care of and eliminated, but now we're at a bit of a loss what to do."
"Whatever do you mean? What have you found?" Walter asked worriedly.
"I'm not sure," Seras replied as she frowned down at the two girls who were tilting their heads in interest at the device in Seras' hands. "I think they're vampires, but I can't be one hundred percent. I think… I think they're just kids…"
Walter was silent for a few moments before he responded, sounding much more serious and on edge this time. "Are you sure? This isn't some type of trick or illusion?"
"I don't know, that's why I wanted some help. I don't know what to do. We can't just leave them here, and they seem to be lost and confused."
"It's okay, Miss Victoria, don't panic. Have they harmed you or any of the other soldiers?"
"No."
"Hmmm."
"I think… I think they might be child vampires…" Seras expressed her theory nervously.
"That's impossible, Miss Victoria."
"I know that! But it's the only explanation I've got that makes sense!"
"Of course we're vampires!" Luna exclaimed proudly.
Walter seemed to gasp at the sound of their voices, almost as if he hadn't believed Seras' story about them existing in the first place.
"Who turned them?" Walter demanded.
"I don't know –"
"We weren't turned," Lily spoke up, looking at them all like they were stupid.
"We were born vampires," Luna added.
"Seras is our mummy, Mr. Voice Man."
Seras cringed while Walter remained silent for a few moments.
"Miss Victoria?"
"It's not true, Walter!" Seras gasped out, her face turning red as the soldiers laughed at her again. "I don't know why, but they seem to think I'm their mother. Walter, I really don't know what to do. I mean, vampires can't have children, can they? I'm sure if I had kids, I would remember." She could feel herself growing even more flustered.
"I've heard rumours of vampire offspring during my time as a hunter… but I always thought they were just a myth…" Walter's voice trailed off, no doubt thinking back to his youth.
Seras squeaked in fear.
"Regardless though, I'm sure Sir Integra would like this fully investigated. We can't just leave them there as you said. Return to headquarters immediately Miss Victoria, and bring the children with you," Walter ordered.
"Yes, Walter," Seras replied before lowering her communicator and anxiously looking down at the two girls who were watching her every move. The two of them looked like lost puppies as they hung off her, clinging to her for what felt like dear life. They looked at her like she was their world, and Seras couldn't help but shudder in fear at that feeling… or was it even fear? No, that didn't quite seem to describe it. Whatever the feeling was, it was warmer than fear. However, the young vampire couldn't let that distract her as she turned back to the remaining soldiers.
"We are to return to Hellsing immediately," she repeated Walter's orders, "and we're taking these two with us."
Damn, I forgot just how hilarious writing this kind of storyline could be. I'm going to have so much fun with this, I just know it. Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter. I would greatly appreciate it if you could let me know your thoughts in review, no matter how small. It always helps us writers out. Until next time!
