. .

Be Honest

. .

A 'When Calls the Heart' One-shot FanFiction Challenge for Season 10 episode 11 when Nathan visits Elizabeth in the schoolhouse, asking her "What do you want?"

All characters and portions of the dialog printed in bold belong to Hallmark Media LLC.

By Eilie Hunter

. .

Nathan saw it.

From across the street he saw Elizabeth's eyes downcast and her shoulders rise and fall, as she breathed deeply. When she glanced up at him, her expression was pleading, almost a fearful cry for help like an animal caught tangled in a vine in the woods. As a Mountie, Nathan had freed deer and sheep that had wandered into danger and needed rescue. As a sensitive man, and as part of his training, Constable Nathan Grant was good at reading faces and he saw this, her fleeting glance.

Elizabeth's vulnerability was only momentary, but Nathan recognized her weakness and she knew he knew. Averting her eyes, she looked up at the banner stretched across Hope Valley's Main Street. 'Elect Lucas Bouchard for Governor. Save Hope Valley.'

Her thoughts tumbled over themselves. 'Just a few hours ago, didn't I tell Nathan that Hope Valley was my home and there was no place I would rather be? I didn't think Lucas would accept yesterday's request to run for Governor. Now suddenly the banner is across Main Street? I feel as though a tornado has swept through and rearranged my life…' Suddenly feeling sick, Elizabeth hurriedly excused herself to return to the safety of home and the arms of her little boy.

Lucas hardly noticed her departure, yet another man had been watching her in addition to Nathan.


. .

Shortly after Elizabeth had waved goodbye to Laura, Henry Gowen knocked on Elizabeth's front door.

"Did you forget something, Laur… Oh! Henry!" Elizabeth exclaimed, then moved aside to allow him to enter. "Come in."

"Er, I am sorry to bother you, Elizabeth, but you appeared troubled again just now as the banner was raised. Are… eh… are you alright?" Henry stood, hat in hand and spoke hesitantly.

Motioning for Henry to take a seat, Elizabeth responded, "I don't know. Everything is happening so fast…"

"Yes, it looks that way." Declining the offered seat, Henry twisted his hat as he determined what to say next. With a deep breath, Henry boldly offered his second piece of advice within the past few days. "Elizabeth? Now you really need to face your feelings. You mustn't leave things unresolved with Nathan if Lucas will be leaving to campaign for governor. You need to be honest with both of these men… and with yourself."

Wrestling with her thoughts and emotions throughout the evening, Elizabeth had turned down Rosemary's invitation to a talk, explaining she had already had a visit from Henry. However, as evidenced by her restless sleep, Elizabeth wasn't ready for any discussions right now. Every direction her mind turned, she was increasingly disquieted.


. .

A somber Mrs. Elizabeth Thornton rang the cow bell at the close of class the following day, returning to her desk to sort the papers her students had left behind when they departed. She heard the door open and slowly turned expecting a student had forgotten something. As she saw Nathan enter and close the door behind himself, she caught her breath.

Moving slowly down the aisle the tall man spoke calmly, his crystal blue eyes fixed on hers, "Just yesterday you told me how you never wanted to leave Hope Valley. What changed? If you leave, then what?"

Nathan took a few steps closer, continuing, "What about teaching? What about these kids? I mean, is this what you want?"

Elizabeth responded as she glanced down, "Nathan, this is bigger than me."

"Lizbeth, you make a difference here. I'm asking you to be honest with yourself. Is this what you want?"

With watering eyes and a trembling voice, Elizabeth returned his gaze, "What other choice do I have?"

Nathan stepped closer, his eyes intently focused on hers. With loving tenderness he whispered, "Elizabeth… What... do… you… want?"

Elizabeth's sharp intake of breath proved how deeply moved she was by this man before her, yet she had no words of reply. Silently, the tears overflowed.

Reaching into his coat pocket, Nathan found his neatly folded handkerchief and, stepping closer, he offered it to Elizabeth. Gently taking her elbow in his hand, he slowly led her to the front bench. As she collapsed onto the wooden seat, she covered her face with the white linen and quietly sobbed.

Nathan sat beside her, angled slightly to better observe her face. When Elizabeth stilled, Nathan whispered again, "Please think about the young minds you have inspired. Consider all the students you have challenged, encouraged, and loved. You've taught more than reading, writing, and arithmetic. You've guided the students to find their talents and pursue their dreams, seeing beyond this valley."

"You've taught life lessons, Lizbeth. Think about Allie! You showed her how to be a friend and expanded her world to include many relationships, with students here as well as many friendships with adults in town. Allie has blossomed under your watchful care, both personally and scholastically."

"I've heard you say that teaching is what you've been called to do… Is leaving this classroom, this profession, this valley what you really want?"

All the lightness, teasing, and laughter they had shared over the past few weeks faded in these moments. This was serious and Nathan was not backing away. Elizabeth had to find and face her truth. He knew he couldn't make this decision for her. He couldn't even make it easier. He couldn't express his love again or ask her to stay, much as he longed to do so. She was engaged to another man and only Elizabeth could make this choice.

Nathan waited, lifting silent prayers to the Almighty. As Elizabeth's weeping stilled, Nathan whispered huskily, "Lizbeth, I remember the day you confronted me in my office questioning me about taking a promotion and leaving Hope Valley. Your words are seared into my memory, 'What about the friends that Allie has made? That you have made?'" He swallowed hard before continuing.

"Being a single parent isn't easy. We both know this. I've made career choices for Allie's sake because that is what parents do. This is something you must consider now too. What about young Jack?"

Elizabeth looked into Nathan's now glistening eyes as she listened.

"Do you want Jack to leave Hope Valley and be raised in a large city or…" he paused, motioning around the classroom, "do you want him to attend this school? The one his father built? The place named after his father? The school with the name that young Jack shares?"

Elizabeth gasped and began to weep once more.

"Do you want your son to be nurtured and supported by those who knew his father and those who understand the values and life of service exemplified by his Mountie father and grandfather? What do you want for your son?" Nathan waited, listening to the quiet sounds of Elizabeth's erratic breaths.

Observing her carefully, Nathan handed her a second handkerchief since as a father he was always prepared, before whispering once more, "I want you to be honest with yourself, Elizabeth. What... do... you... want?"

As she calmed, Nathan moved to stand. "I'm trying to be the best friend I can be to you right now, Lizbeth, but shall I try to find Rosemary to come to you here, or may I accompany you home? I can take Jack back to our home and Allie and I can prepare supper and look after him if you need some time."

"Home. Please?"


. .

Nathan followed Elizabeth into her front room and squatted to welcome Jack's embrace. "Hey, young man, would you like to come to my house and have supper with Allie and me and Scout? Does that sound good?"

Nodding enthusiastically, Jack squealed. "Can I, Mommy? Can I?"

Elizabeth bent to kiss Jack's blonde waves, whispering, "You be good now, okay?"

Nathan stood and reached for the small coat on the rack, glancing to Elizabeth for approval.

When she nodded, Nathan helped Jack don his coat then collected a nearby basket of Lincoln Logs.

With a wave and a quiet smile, Nathan departed leaving Elizabeth behind.

She stood unmoving as she watched her son with Nathan, myriads of emotions crossing her countenance.

Hidden inside her doorway, Elizabeth saw Nathan stop at the Coulter's and ask Rosemary to check in on Elizabeth later. More tears fell as she observed how attentive Nathan was to engage Jack as they walked hand-in-hand to the Grant's home to meet Allie for supper.


. .

Later in Elizabeth's row house and having left Lee to watch their daughter, Rosemary sat at the dining table, piles of white wedding tulle on her lap as she listened to Elizabeth share her afternoon's encounter. Recalling a long ago conversation with Nathan in the Library, Rosemary understood how Nathan was cautiously fighting for Elizabeth's love, while maintaining propriety. He was being a gentleman and a good friend, although Rosemary knew he longed for so much more. Most people in town knew the depths of feeling Nathan Grant had for this struggling woman.

Elizabeth explained that Nathan had pointed out how her decisions affected her son. "Do I want Jack to attend the Jack Thornton School? The schoolhouse his father built?" Elizabeth quietly acknowledged that was exactly what she wanted for Jack, both father and son.

"Everyone keeps asking me 'What do I want!'" Elizabeth gripped her damp handkerchief.

Pausing in the removal of another layer of tulle, Rosemary asked softly, "Well, what do you want, Elizabeth?"

With renewed tears, Elizabeth covered her face with her hand. She was silent for so long that Rosemary was almost ready to say her friend's name again. Whispered words stopped Rosemary and she had to repeat what she thought she heard, "You want to stay?"

Elizabeth nodded her head, softly admitting, "I don't want to hold Lucas back, I want him to move on to bigger things. That's what Aunt Agatha said he was made for… but that's not what I want. I want to stay, but is it dishonorable to break my promise to Lucas?"

Rosemary was relieved by this confession, answering, "ah, no Elizabeth, all of us will understand."

"So what is your next step then?" She wanted Elizabeth and Jack to stay in Hope Valley, but she also wanted her friend to find happiness and love. Did she dare mention Nathan? While Rosemary waited, she contemplated her next question.

Elizabeth let a deep sigh escape as she leaned back in the chair.

"I need to break my engagement to Lucas. I don't think he will be disappointed. I have not felt as though we were on the same page for a very long time. His idea of romance and courtship is not mine. He is Hamilton. He is the life I left behind because I was called to teach. After I met Jack, I was certain of my call to Hope Valley, to community, to love, and to a family. Someone once told me that Lucas described himself as a tumbleweed. I can see that now. He will go where the wind blows. He doesn't have the roots I have here. He doesn't have a calling to operate a saloon, or even a dressed-up hotel. He wants more. I want more too, but not what Lucas wants."

Rosemary reached to hold her dear friend's forearm, yet remained silent. Although a rough road may lie ahead, this admission was right and momentous.

Elizabeth met Rosemary's look of concern and placed her hand over Rosemary's hand. "I just hope that Lucas doesn't feel any obligation to stay for me because I want to stay? I was reaching the point of halting our relationship before now. All these political opportunities are just pushing me to make my wishes known. I've been ready to part, but too scared to be the one to make the break. Now I must." Elizabeth looked down at the dress in her friend's lap. "I guess you can stop working on that wedding dress and I'll have to call my parents to request they tell all my family the wedding is off."

At that moment, Elizabeth looked at her enormous engagement diamond and slipped the ring off her finger, letting it clatter into the saucer in front of her. She pushed the teacup and saucer away.

Rosemary reacted, "you are absolutely certain of this, Elizabeth?"

Determined, Elizabeth spoke in a stronger voice, "I am. I must be honest. Nathan was right, but first I must talk to Lucas…"

Rosemary squeezed Elizabeth's arm, exclaiming, "wait, Elizabeth! You know you can't expect anything from Nathan after all this time, right? You cannot just turn from Lucas to Nathan. Nathan deserves better than that!"

"Rosemary? I have never stopped loving Nathan Grant. I've run from him, but I've known that for a long time. He is all I want and have wanted since I first met him when he came to Hope Valley. I just let my fears win. I hope he will forgive me for how I've treated him, but we have had such sweet encounters recently that I now have hope."

"Be cautious, Elizabeth! If you want to rekindle romance with Nathan you are going to have to make things right with him and then prove your love to him, right? You will have to pursue him."

A smile emerged as Elizabeth whispered, "I recognize that now. I must be open with Nathan and finally be honest."


. .

A quiet knock on her front door, interrupted Elizabeth's and Rosemary's conversation.

Elizabeth stood and opened the door, whispering, "Nathan!"

Nathan stood holding a sleeping Jack in his arms, admitting softly and with a crooked smile, "I'm sorry to interrupt," stepping inside, Nathan continued, "I'm afraid we've worn the little fella out."

"Oh! Thank you. Would you mind carrying him upstairs for me?"

"I'd be glad to. This brings back sweet memories of Allie when she was Jack's age." Nathan followed Elizabeth and softly greeted Rosemary as he headed up the stairs.

Kneeling to lay the little boy on his bed, Nathan removed Jack's shoes and socks while Elizabeth brought his pajamas. Nathan lifted him so his mother could slip him into his nightclothes, then gently placed him with his head against the pillow. Reaching for the covers, Nathan tucked Jack into bed, then stood watching him and praying silently.

Moved, Elizabeth touched Nathan's forearm, startling him and causing him to look down at her hand. What he saw shocked him even more than the tingle of her touch and he gasped, quickly searching her face as the words formed in his mind, 'Her finger's empty! Her ring is gone… ' Joy burst across Nathan's face as if rays of bright sunlight burst from a dark cloud. "Elizabeth is staying…"

Elizabeth's understanding was immediate and her gaze locked with his. Reflecting Nathan's happiness, she smiled and whispered, "Yes…"

Stepping in front of Nathan, Elizabeth explained softly, "I have to talk to Lucas tomorrow, but could we talk later? Maybe you could bring Allie and join us for supper? Then, if Allie will babysit Jack, we can take a walk. I'm ready to be honest."

As Nathan nodded, Elizabeth stood on tiptoe and tenderly kissed his cheek, stealing his breath away. She lifted her fingers to brush across his lips and only said, "What I want is you, Nathan. You…"

. .