Hi everyone and welcome! I've been debating whether I should write fanfiction or not, and I just decided to. I've read so many stories from so many fandoms that inspired me to start writing, so here I am.
Starting off with a fic from TLOU which came to me a few weeks ago. I really hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.


Joel became a father at a much younger age than he had anticipated and his knowledge on how to raise a child was incredibly limited. He was so young, to the point that he barely knew how to take care of himself, and yet he'd found himself in the position where he had to be responsible for an actual baby.

The whole process was terrifying, and the normal doubts of a first-time father were tenfold due to his hardly-stable job and high-school dropout status, but he vowed to try his best as he figured out fatherhood as he went along.

From the moment Sarah arrived, everything became a trial and error process. Everything from changing diapers to bathing her was something that he got better with over time, and before he knew it, he felt like a professional in all things baby-related.

And then Kate left. It was expected, their relationship was never going to last, but it was the way she completely cut ties with Sarah that hurt him, and when she was just three-years-old, he became a single dad. By this time, his pay had improved as he'd worked his way up, but with Sarah and a teenage Tommy to look after, he felt he couldn't provide her with enough, but it never stopped him from trying.

As he couldn't afford to buy her new toys every few weeks, he tried to make up for it with something more precious: time. He would make sure to spend all his free time creating memories for her, so he would take her to the local swimming pool to teach her how to swim, or how to ride a bike at the local park, and when she beamed at him after he'd taken her stabilisers off, he knew that no shiny new toy could replace the joy she'd felt.

Things got harder as she got older, especially as a single dad, but he was incredibly careful to ensure that he was the best parent she could ask for, and he made sure that he could give her everything that a mother would normally do for her daughter. He spent hours watching YouTube videos on how to plait a child's hair, and after three or four attempts, and several admonishments that he was pulling on her hair, he no longer had to watch the video as a guide, and Sarah's hug to thank him after his attempt made the many hours he spent watching the videos worth it.

Of course, with her getting a little older, it meant he was quickly becoming the stereotypical embarrassing dad. At 8 years old, pretty much anything he did embarrassed her but shouting support on the sidelines as she played soccer and giving a particularly loud cheer whenever she'd score was enough to make her moan at him afterwards, but he couldn't help it, he was just so proud of her. But she'd never been more embarrassed of him than when he'd spent all day decorating her room and when he picked her up from school that afternoon, she flushed in embarrassment as she noted the pink stains in his dark hair. She was mortified that he'd appeared in front of her friends so 'unclean', but when she saw her newly decorated room, all was forgiven and very quickly, his several hours worth of painting was hidden with posters of her favourite boy bands and soccer players.

But the embarrassment stage didn't last forever and as she progressed to pre-teen age, Joel began to embrace his feminine side, allowing himself to be a live model for when she practised her makeup. He took her to some concert of a new boy-band from England, One Direction or something like that and danced along with her when her favourite song came on. And he sat through those god-awful Twilight movies that she and her friends had liked, forcing himself to concentrate on the teen-flick for her sake.

As for her school work, her teachers assured him that Sarah had no issues with her education and that she was always well behaved in class. She was a smarter kid than he'd ever been, so he couldn't really help her with her homework, but he gave it a go anyway, only for his eleven-year-old to explain to him that multiplication comes before subtraction, accompanied by an eye-roll as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

At least when she wanted to play soccer in the back garden, he knew what he was doing. He'd always be the goalkeeper so she could practise her shooting skills, and he'd try his hardest to save her shots, because once when he was letting her score, she put her hands on her hips, pouted and complained: 'Daddy, how am I meant to get better if you let me score?'

Once, Tommy had joined in with their soccer match after a few beers, and had nearly snapped Joel's leg as he jumped in to slide-tackle his older brother, prompting Sarah to rush to her dad's rescue and jump on Tommy's back, tackling him to the ground. It was the moments like that where Joel realised how much of a good job he'd done raising her, and that all the tough times were worth it.

No matter what it was, Joel tried to move heaven and earth to make sure he did all he could for her, because she was everything to him, and his sole purpose was to make her happy.

And then she was taken from him before she'd even had the chance to live.

There'd been times over the past 25 years where he was almost glad she was no longer there to see the horror that the world had become. He'd hate himself whenever the thought crossed his mind, but this cruel world wasn't meant for someone as good and pure as Sarah. She was a tough kid, and she would've adapted, but there was a peace in knowing she wouldn't have lost her innocence and been force to change who she was, just to live in such a fucked up world. The thought of her having to live through those first few years with all the horrific things they did was enough to turn his stomach, and he hated the thought of his baby girl being forced to harden up, to kill to survive as she became a young adult. The original outbreak terrified her and some of the things he's seen since would've traumatised her, but after finding a safe place in Jackson, he'd give up anything in the world to have her back.

Nearly anything. Because after 20 years, he'd found another little girl.

Ellie was different. Sarah wasn't always girly, the many soccer trophies scattered across her bedroom shelves attested to that, but as she reached pre-teen age, she began to love wearing basic makeup and styling her hair. Everything had to be the colour pink and she had more skirts and dresses than Joel had clothes.

Ellie didn't care about makeup. It may have been because it no longer existed, at least not in the form it used to, but even if it did, Joel couldn't imagine her wanting to wear any. She preferred to wear jeans, always, and if she wasn't in jeans she was in a pair of tracksuit bottoms. He'd never seen her in a skirt, in fact, he didn't think she owned one. Pink, she could deal with, but not the really 'girly' pink, as she had once said to him, but a slightly darker one. She would've taken one look at the shade of pink he'd once painted Sarah's bedroom in and ran straight out.

Her life was far more difficult than Sarah's had ever been. Born in the apocalypse, she faced the ugliness of this new world from the moment she was born, forcing children to adapt or die. They never knew a normal life and had to be taught from birth to be hyper-alert to everything, an immense amount of pressure to put on a child. And to top it off, Ellie was riddled with trauma from her childhood before he'd ever met her.

FEDRA had for all intents and purposes bred her to be a fighter meaning she was already a hardened survivor by the time they'd met, and although she'd never seen the world outside the QZ, she was more than prepared for it. Just as often as he wondered how Sarah would've coped in this world, he wondered how Ellie would've managed life if the world was normal. It took her a while to really settle in Jackson, not used to a life quite like it. But he supposed if she'd been born pre-outbreak, life would've been normal for her so she wouldn't have needed to adapt but as with any child from this new era, it was hard to imagine her having a normal life without Cordyceps.

Thinking about Sarah had gotten easier since Ellie had arrived in his life, because Ellie had helped to fill the hole she left behind. He never compared the two of them, nor did he ever think of Ellie as a replacement. In his mind, they were sisters despite the fact they'd never meet and Sarah would be nearly 20 years older than Ellie. They were both his daughters, and his love for them was equal, and if he had one wish it would be for them to have had the opportunity to meet. Sarah would've loved a younger sister, and Ellie would've looked up to Sarah.

Ellie was now older than Sarah would ever be, and at times, he had to laugh at the irony of the situation. He had Sarah for her early stages. The first words, first steps, early school life, but he never experienced the first love, college, jobs, marriage. On the other hand, when he'd met Ellie, she was around the same age Sarah had been when she died, so he'd missed everything that came with Ellie's early years, but was there for her as she grew into a young woman.

Ellie had been his second chance to be the one thing he loved more than anything: a father. And he tried his best not to waste that opportunity as he gave her all he could, as he had once done for Sarah. There'd been hard times, especially after she'd stopped speaking to him, but her assurance that she wanted to try to forgive him was enough to prove to him that their bond was a special one and it was the happiest he'd felt since she'd walked away from him in Salt Lake City.

But now, he knew he was never going to have the chance to fix things with her.

He'd always figured that at some point his past would catch up to him. He'd done some horrendous things and ruined countless people's lives over the past 25 years, so he was certain that eventually, someone would come for him. He just didn't expect that retribution to find him while he was the safest he'd been for years, and certainly not in the shape of a young girl, barely older than Ellie.

He shouldn't have listened to Tommy, and he wished he'd have stuck to his guns and dragged his brother back to the horses to get home, but Tommy, ever the kinder of the two of them, was already off running after the girl being chased by a horde before Joel could properly argue. Thinking of Tommy, Joel tilted his head as he was being beaten to see his brother completely unmoving on the floor nearby, blood leaking out of a cut on his head. Joel was sure he was just unconscious, nothing more, but he feared when Abby was finished with him, she wouldn't just let Tommy go. After all, he's a witness and he's seen her face. If the positions were reversed, he wouldn't leave any survivors.

He was quickly losing the ability to think, struggling to stay awake as Abby continued to hit him, screaming about what he'd taken from her. It was clear that he'd wronged the girl, but she was far too emotional to actually explain what it was he'd taken. Whoever he'd hurt, she cared about them very much, and he didn't know if it was the past few years in Jackson making him softer, or the fact that he was dying, but in spite of what she was doing to him, he felt sorrow for once causing her so much pain.

He didn't believe in life after death, he never had, but he was starting to question his beliefs as Sarah appeared before him. She was there, nearly close enough to touch but her face was blurred. But with each swing of the golf club, he could swear he started to see her face clearer and clearer. As her face became less blurred to him, he became resigned to the feeling of losing his grip on the world, and started to embrace it as she got closer. It can't be that bad if she's in the place where I'm going.

But then he heard a door opening, followed by a fight breaking out between a small group. And then he heard it. The unmistakable feisty voice he'd recognise anywhere, even with his eyes squeezed shut. It was Ellie. Ellie was here.

The feeling of embracing his inevitable death quickly disappeared and was replaced with dread. He welcomed the thought of seeing Sarah again but wherever she was, she was safe and Ellie wasn't. He'd spent 20 years not fearing death, almost ready for it at any moment but that had changed when Ellie came into his life. She made him fear death again because how could he leave her? The thought alone was enough to make him try to fight the pain.

At her pleading, he managed to open his eyes against the pain he felt. She was bleeding from the nose and fighting against the two people holding her down, curses leaving her mouth every second. He'd expect no less from her with the fight she'd always possessed, she had always been a strong girl, both physically and mentally.

The fear that he was feeling at the thought of Tommy following him into death at the hands of these people was now multiplied tenfold with Ellie here, especially since she'd seemingly pissed some of them off. He couldn't bear the thought of Ellie paying the price for whatever he'd done to make Abby want him dead.

Her presence both comforted and terrified him and as she pleaded for him to get up, he really did try, but he was so tired he could only lift a finger. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but nothing would come from his mouth, so he hoped the tired gaze of his eyes conveyed all he wanted to as she quietened down and stared back at him.

The last thing he saw before Abby took her final swing was Ellie's face, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He closed his eyes just before the club hit as he said goodbye to one of his little girls, readying himself to greet the other.


Hope you enjoyed!
This was fun (maybe not literally fun because of the content) to write and I enjoyed writing my first fanfic. I plan to write more, not only for TLOU but for other fandoms too so if you liked this, keep an eye out for more.
If you think there's aspects of my writing that I need to improve, please let me know so I can work on it going forward.
Thank you for reading!