Preface
The CaféHouse
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/38332174.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Relationship: Blackbeard Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Character: Blackbeard Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Pining Stede Bonnet, Pining Blackbeard Edward Teach, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Oblivious Stede Bonnet, Very bad at flirting Edward, Listen they are trying okay?, Stede keeps trying to feed Edward, It's a love language, Oblivious Blackbeard Edward Teach, Edward doesn't know what to do with himself, Blackbeard is whipped, That's how we love him, Tattoo Artist Blackbeard Edward Teach, Awkward Flirting Language: English Series: Part 1 of Ink Stains On Coffee Cups Collections: ofmd fics that make me drop my croissant, OFMD: You write fine fics well, Fics that give Lucius a rope to hold onto, OFMD Fics I Love, FicsforKrusti, OFMD Non-Pirate AUs (Stede/Ed only), Fics for Lady Reinacorn Stats: Published: 2022-04-12 Completed: 2022-05-05 Words: 10,810 Chapters: 4/4 The CaféHouse
by WaitingToBeBroken
Summary
Stede's new regular was very happy with taking his order, "Coffee, black," and leaving.
Stede was... not so happy with that arrangement.
Naturally, he decided to feed him.
They are trying to flirt, but they are both very, very bad at it.
Chapter 1
Chapter Notes
Now translated into Russian by the lovely mechiael. Please check it out!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
When the man entered his cafe for the first time, Stede stared.
In his defence, it was very hard not to. It was not every day he had a customer who looked like that. To be fair, it was not every day he had a customer, full stop, but that was neither here nor there.
The man hesitated for a moment, before heading towards him with what could only be called determination and Stede was torn between being a professional and... well, staring, at the long wavy hair, the full beard that covered most of the stranger's face. Or did he focus on the all-leather get-up, the tattoos that peaked under it.
The man had reached the counter and Lucius cleared his throat, snapping Stede out of his current day-dream of, weirdly, burying his fingers inside that beard.
"Coffee, black," the man ordered, voice gruff, eyes looking anywhere but at Stede. His fingers were tapping at the counter, an irregular melody. Normally, Stede would have at least scoffed at the lack of manners, maybe teased about 'magic words', which might be why he was so lacking in the customer department. Currently, however, he was certain only 3 of his brain cells were not focused on the man in front of him and he decided to utilise them the best he could.
He looked at Lucius for help but his employee was wiping the counter, not moving, not taking his eyes off the customer. Not even changing the spot he was cleaning. Goodness, but at least Stede was not that obvious about it.
He made the coffee. Wasn't very proud of it, the way he normally would be, but there was still a tinge of pride in him in the sense that he did actually make the coffee, when he had the literal man of his dreams 5 feet away from him.
The man took the cup wordlessly, paid an amount that was obscenely high and was nowhere to be seen when Stede lifted his head from the till to pass him his change.
"Wouldn't mind having that tall glass of coffee," Lucius sighed from beside him, finally throwing the rag he had been using aside and was that... was that one of Stede's fancy napkins that he had been saving for special occasions?
"Now, Lucius, you know this is a zero tolerance environment. For both customers and employees." Stede tried to sound stern but his attention had already moved on to the little fabric lying crumpled on the counter. He tried to straighten the wrinkles out with his hands but when that proved to be useless, he folded it neatly and placed it in his pocket, to be washed and ironed at a later date.
For all his efforts, he received an eye roll and a scoff.
It was a week later that the stranger, deftly named Blackbeard by Stede's mind, returned. He knew, strictly speaking, that Greybeard was far more applicable, Saltandpepperbeard even, but it really didn't have the same ring to it whenever Stede thought about it.
Not that he had been thinking about the stranger a lot.
Of course not.
"Coffee, black," the man ordered and this time he did look up. Stede had been quite proud of his no-staring-up-until-that-point accomplishment. He was the proprietor of a respectable establishment; he couldn't really go around ogling his customers willy-nilly.
He had been certain he would be able to get through this interaction without making a fool of himself. And then the stranger looked at him, warm chocolate eyes gazing up and. To say Stede failed spectacularly would be an understatement.
"Coming right brown. Down. UP! Coming right up!"
He heard Lucius snicker from the back and vowed to schedule him for all of Black Pete's opposite shifts.
By the time he was back with the coffee, Blackbeard had already left money on the counter and looked like he was ready to bolt the moment he got his hands on his order. But this time, Stede was prepared. More than that, Stede was determined and nothing could possibly stop him.
"So how has your day..." He looked up from the till only to see the retreating back of his mystery customer. Well, at least this time, he had actually seen him leave? That could be classified as an improvement, now couldn't it?
The third time, Stede refused to let go of the coffee, which made inputting the order and then sorting the money a little tricky. It was all worth it for the little hmm of agreement he got when he asked the other man how his day was.
Wait, what?
The fourth time, Blackbeard actually decided to have his coffee inside.
The weather was absolutely dreadful and that did take some of the excitement away, but Stede would not be deterred. He wiped every single table around his customer, twice. Asked him if he needed anything else, four times... at least.
Stellar customer service is what it was. He would absolutely do it for any other non-bearded, non-leather-clad, hunk of a man. Thank you very much.
In turn, he caught the other man glance at him three times, not that he was counting, and take exactly one sip of his coffee. That part he was, in fact, paying attention to. As that was his actual job. Half an hour later, the man left, his barely-touched coffee going cold on the table.
Stede wondered if he would ever see him again.
As it was, he did see him again. And again.
By the sixth time, Stede had decided the man was officially a regular. Which, obviously, meant he deserved more attention than your normal, run-of-the-mill customer, who had only visited his cafe, say... 5 times.
"My name is Stede, by the way," he said as he handed Blackbeard his coffee, tapping his name badge needlessly. The man had stopped disappearing the moment Stede was not looking at him like some gorgeous, if slightly confused, Weeping Angel and Stede was going to take full advantage.
"Ed. Edward." The man hesitated a moment before outstretching a hand.
Stede beamed. Of course, he was perfectly aware he needed to keep his cool, no use making the other man think he was a lunatic so soon into their acquaintance.
Edward did stare at him. But he also did not take his coffee and bug off to the table Stede had started referring to as his, at least in his mind. Instead, they chatted for a bit, about the weather (outrageous, wasn't it, so much Sun in April), Stede's customers (five today, a new record) and Edward's, the name made Stede a little giddy, job (tattoo artist at the studio just across the cafe, and what were the odds).
By the time Edward left, he hadn't even looked at his table.
He also hadn't touched his coffee, which did worry Stede a bit.
"Do you have any allergies?" Stede asked, offhandedly, as he was handing Ed his drink on his eighth visit.
The man almost dropped his cup. "Wha?"
"Allergies? Lactose, nuts, anything like that?" Edward was still looking at him like he had lost his mind. But he also looked like he was very close to offering to help him search for it, so Stede didn't really take it as an insult.
When it became clear that he would have to respond to that question, if he didn't want Stede to continue staring at him, which was, after all, Stede's original plan, Edward shook his head. Then narrowed his eyes when the other man moved swiftly to the cake display.
"Can you keep a secret?" Stede asked and without waiting for an answer cut out a piece of the chocolate orange cake. He presented the slice to the other man with a smile. "Made it myself." A loud cough from the kitchen. "Very well then, I decorated it." Silence. "On the house, of course."
Edward stared at him, but Stede was unsure if the man had ever stopped. "Wouldn't your boss mind you giving away cake to random strangers?"
Stede laughed, waving a hand in the air. "The owner is an old spoilsport. Don't mind him one bit."
Black Pete poked his head out of the kitchen. "But boss... aren't you the boss?" He sounded so genuinely concerned, as if he thought he could have truly missed the change of ownership and Stede tried not to laugh again. It wasn't very polite, making fun of your own employees.
"Exactly! Screw that guy, I always say!"
Edward leaned forward, elbows resting on the counter and Stede was momentarily distracted by the tattoos suddenly on display.
"Don't mind if I do," the man drawled, voice low, lower than usual and Stede beamed.
"Delightful!"
He tried to ignore Lucius, staring at him in disbelief. As this was the usual way the other man looked at him, it wasn't that hard. It proved to be more challenging not to focus on the way Edward raised his eyebrows, eyes wide. What? It wasn't like this was the first time he had ever offered someone a piece of cake, on the house.
Why was everyone staring at him like that?
Edward was a little slow to pick up his coffee and cake but eventually, he gathered himself from where he was splayed on the counter and headed to his table.
Lucius was still staring. "Boss..." he started suddenly, looking at Black Pete for support. Then he rolled his eyes with a sigh and shook his head. "Never mind."
Edward did finish the whole slice of cake. He still didn't touch his coffee.
Stede had an idea.
Chapter End Notes
The Cafe AU nobody asked for. And don't try to tell me Stede's love language is not gift giving, I will fight you!
Join us next chapter, when Stede will try to find out why Edward never seems to drink his coffee.
Chapter 2
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The first time Stede did it, Edward hardly suspected anything.
Of course, there was no reason for him to be suspicious. They had been in this exact position countless of times, Stede fussing over the coffee machine, Edward looking at him wordlessly.
While, yes, Stede was a little bit more chatty than usual, telling his favourite customer about his least favourite one, a weird man with a face tattoo he had started calling Male-Karen in his mind. But that wasn't to distract from what was currently happening behind the counter, of course not. No, Stede had just decided to be more open today. What did he always say? Never bottle anything up, that's right! It certainly wasn't because he was nervous. Because he wasn't.
Wasn't tampering with food orders... technically illegal?
Edward for his part barely made a sound, just the occasional hum of agreement and didn't, for one second, take his eyes off of him. Which made the fact he still failed to notice the spoonful of sugar Stede had added to his normal order, rather surprising. Not that Stede was very good at hiding it.
He wasn't because one, he wasn't trying to hide it. It certainly was not illegal, okay? He was just a good friend who had noticed his favourite customer had a penchant for sweets and the aesthetics of someone who would never drink anything other than, 'Coffee, black'.
Stede Bonnet was not as oblivious as most people thought he was.
It was a shame his perceptive nature was only really utilised on the rare occasion someone was unhappy with their order.
And two, even if he had tried to hide the sugar, which again, not the case, he wouldn't have been able to. There was something to be said about being the sole focus of attention of a man such as Edward. It made a flush creep at the back of his neck, a light shake lick at his fingers. It made him clumsy. Clumsier. Which, for Stede, could prove to be fatal.
"There we are!" Stede sounded slightly more excited than an order such as this warranted and Edward raised an eyebrow. The suspicion lasted exactly 15 seconds before the other man obviously decided that this was, in fact, a regular occurrence and... Stede didn't really know how to feel about that.
He settled on anticipation as he watched the other man take a sip. And then, immediately after, another. This was already progress and Stede let himself cheer inwardly.
But then Edward was looking at him, eyes wide and was he... was he blushing? It was very hard to guess under the beard but Stede had also (not) spent hours staring at the man and he could definitely note the slight tinge of pink colouring his cheeks. Could that be an allergic reaction, he wondered for one long, horrible moment. Could someone even be allergic to sugar?
Of course, he was very aware of diabetics but then again, surely, Ed would have had that reaction when he had the cake, too... Now that he thought about it, the man had been slightly flushed when he took the cake, hadn't he? But that had been before he had even tasted it.
No, no, Stede was being ridiculous. There was no need to panic.
As if to prove his point, Ed took another sip of the coffee.
And left shortly after.
Staring at the barely-touched coffee in front of him, Stede wondered if perhaps he should stop charging the other man for his order.
The second spoonful of sugar was slightly trickier. Edward now knew, which made the need for stealth more pressing.
The other man would stare at him, gaze unwavering, and clear his throat rather pointedly every time Stede so much as glanced at the sugar. It was entirely unnecessary, he thought petulantly, the third time he tried to distract his customer only to have that burning gaze directed only at his hands.
He couldn't say it wasn't unnerving. Also, very hot.
Finally, he enlisted the help of Frenchie, who for all his many, many, good qualities... had the belief system of a five year old.
"You see," Frenchie said, wedging himself next to Edward. Stede might have felt a slight prick of something at the way his employee had curled a hand around Edward's biceps, if he wasn't rushing to make the best out of the situation. And if he hadn't told Frenchie himself to do whatever was necessary to make the other man pay attention, even if that meant physically dragging him away from Stede.
He hadn't thought it would come to that. He also hadn't thought that Edward would absolutely refuse to speak to anyone in favour of looking at Stede.
"And this is why They don't want you to know about the power of crystals." Frenchie nodded sagely, before glancing at Stede. Only when he got a nod in return, did he let go of the other man but the damage had already been done.
"Who are They?" Edward asked and seemed to regret it the moment the question left his mouth as it made the barista's eyes glint with excitement.
"The Illuminati, of course." Frenchie stared at the other man like he had grown horns. Edward returned the stare... in the exact same way. "What is your sign star?"
And Stede knew this was the best moment to step in as this was usually when Frenchie would delve into a 2 hour, if they were lucky, discussion based entirely on astrology.
"Frenchie, I think Roach needs you in the kitchen?"
All he got for his effort was Edward briefly glancing at him, mouthing 'Roach?', before turning to the other man, "Sagittarius, why?"
Frenchie gasped. Stede sighed. Here we go. "I knew it! Boss is a Leo, not that you can't tell just by looking at him." He laughed and Edward stared.
That was it then, the moment his favourite customer realised his cafe was run by maniacs. Oh, well, it had actually taken longer than Stede originally thought.
"I can do a reading if you want. Just need your date and exact time of birth. You and Boss are actually very compatible, both fire signs..." Frenchie finally turned his grin towards Stede, and there must have been something on the other man's face that made him freeze. "Um, compatible in friendship, of course. Great friendship, yes, very- very close... You said Roach needed me, Boss?"
Just like that, he was gone. Seemed almost anti-climatic, given how many death stares Stede had sent his way. Not that he was complaining.
"Might be a bit cold," he said apologetically, finally handing the coffee, black, two sugars, to the other man.
"Nah, it's fine. You probably kept it warm, what with being a fire sign and all. You must be hot." And then. And then, Edward. Winked. At. Him. There was no way Stede was getting out of the situation without looking like someone had thrown a ripe tomato all over his face.
He tried very hard to keep his composure. "Well, so are you." Edward almost choked on his coffee. "A fire sign, I mean."
The other man just stared at him.
The next time Edward visited, Stede had his hands too full for an elaborate scheme that resulted in an increasing amount of sugar in the other man's coffee. Literally.
He gathered Louis in his arms, seconds before the boy ran head first into the (open) fridge, only to turn around and see Alma pushing the button for hot water on the coffee machine while directly under the spout.
"Children, please." But his voice was weak and his children were like sharks. They could smell it. Louis wiggled out of his grasp and joined his sister in pushing every button they could reach.
"That's enough!" A very familiar voice said, which made all members of the Bonnet family freeze. Edward stepped forward from the door. He hadn't shouted, he hadn't even raised his voice. But there was still something in the way he had said it. Something that didn't demand, more like gently and with just enough authority suggested... That you better listen to him.
Stede nodded, raising himself to his full height. He knew that would do nothing for his children but it made him feel better, still. "Please, go finish your homework." When Alma and Louis just stared at him, he continued, suddenly inspired by the fact they were, at the very least, listening, "2 scoops of ice-cream for whoever gets done first."
They were both getting the 2 scoops. He knew it, they knew it. Mercifully, they still quietly made their way to the table in the corner and took the books out of their bags.
"Babysitting today?" Edward asked, teeth flashing in a smile.
Stede started on his order, coffee, black, 3 spoons of sugar. "Ah, well, I don't think you can call it babysitting when it's your own children."
He looked up, ready to share in a laugh with his friend, only to find Edward staring at him. He thought back to previous discussions.
"I've never mentioned them, have I?" Ed shook his head and Stede sighed. Father of the year, ladies and gentlemen.
It was true that he never liked to talk about it, what with how he and Mary had left things but still...
They stood in silence while Edward drank his coffee. One, two, three sips and then he was saying, "Cute kids. They look like you."
"Oh... Well." Stede's cheeks flushed and he turned to wipe the coffee machine to hide it. "Thank you. That is very kind."
Edward took a breath. He almost looked like he was gathering himself for something and...
"All done, Dad!" Louis shouted from the table, before running across the room and straight into Stede's arms. "Ice-cream now!" At his father's expectant look, he added, "Please?"
Alma was right behind him. "Doug says we are not supposed to have ice-cream so late. He says it will ruin our dinner."
"Ah, but what does Doug know anyway?" Stede scoffed, waving a hand at her. The look that he got in return... a mixture of disbelief and concern. It was clear what his daughter wanted to respond with but also that she was too polite to. At the very least, Stede could take solace in the fact he had raised her right.
Roach was already coming out of the kitchen, two bowls of ice-cream in his hands, with what appeared to be far more than 2 scoops of ice-cream, each. He nodded his thanks, before watching his children carefully make their way back to their table with their prize. Oh, so they could, in fact refrain from acting like two animals in a zoo?
Only then did he return his attention to the man, currently standing very still at the counter, "Sorry about that, Ed. You were saying?"
Edward leaned forward, eyes narrowing. "Who's this Doug then?"
The question made Stede still for a second. Then he laughed. "I guess he is my co-parent." It was a strange little dynamic they had but then again, nothing about his family was normal. He was just about to explain that Doug was in fact his ex-wife's current partner and one of his closest friends when the distinct sound of bowls clattering to the floor made his head snap towards his children.
Reluctantly, he made his way to the table. He didn't need to check up on them, and they very clearly told him that, claiming they were big enough to handle it. But then again, he did need his balls and he knew very well Mary would chop them off and force them down his throat if he didn't make sure his children were okay.
When he returned, Edward was nowhere to be found.
It took three whole weeks for his friend to return. Yes, he counted. No, he was not even ashamed of that. Maybe... maybe he just missed him.
It made him realise just how used to Edward always being around he had become. When he caught Black Pete and Lucius making out in the stockroom, he had no one to tell, the excitement half as sweet when it wasn't shared. When Frenchie brought a shaman over to do a cleansing on the cafe, claiming this was what was stopping them from breaking their current record of 9 customers... There was no one to share an eye roll with, maybe even a giggle.
Which is why the moment he finally saw Edward outside his cafe, he started making his order. He had it on the counter, coffee, black, four sugars, before the man had even reached the till.
"No kids today?" Edward asked, just as Stede was about to launch into the latest gossip, this time revolving around his accountant Oluwande and his childhood-friend, finally turned partner, Jim.
Instead, he froze. Narrowed his eyes. Was that the reason behind Edward's sudden disappearance? He would have never thought his friend would be so narrow-minded and it made something cold settle at the bottom of his stomach.
"On a family vacation with Mary. To Barbados," he said slowly, carefully. His fingers had curled into fists and he forced them to relax.
"And Mary is?" Edward was still not looking at him, instead focusing on the steaming cup in front of him. Somehow, it made it harder.
"My ex-wife."
"And Doug is?"
"Her husband." The anger had quickly shifted into concern and he reached a hand toward the other man. Ed didn't move away, didn't even flinch. But he also still failed to meet his gaze. Stede squeezed his hand. Tried not to think about how warm it felt under him, how... solid. "Edward, what's going on?"
"And you and Doug?" Ed finally looked at him, turned his hand so their palms were pressed together. "Close friends, I presume?"
Stede nodded. None of this was helping calm the beating of his heart.
Edward's shoulder slumped down, his body no longer resembling a taut string and he laughed. "Quite the family you have there, mate."
Stede nodded again, not quite ready to let it go. And then he said, because he wanted the other to know. He needed him to understand. "But they do spend every other weekend with me. And occasionally whole weeks, whenever they feel like it."
Even if this was all wishful thinking on his part, he needed to make sure...
But Edward just nodded quickly, eyes as serious as Stede's voice had been. "Let me know when they come next and I'll be here."
And that was that, apparently.
Chapter End Notes
I'm sorry, they are too dumb to realise they are dating. We all knew it would come to this...
And Edward being jealous is absolutely my jam but talking it through (as a crew) is sometimes more important.
Thanks for reading!
Chapter 3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"I've got something for you," Stede beamed.
Edward, who had barely even entered the cafe, the door still wide open behind him, stared. He looked like he was considering if it was too late to turn around and disappear.
It was entirely too late, they both knew it, but just to be on the safe side, Stede tapped the counter in an invitation the other couldn't refuse. Wouldn't be able to, really. It's of no use running, his smile seemed to say, and Edward's wide eyes seemed to agree.
If asked, Stede would say he saw no reason for his friend's strange behaviour. Vehemently, he would deny Edward was approaching the counter as a man condemned to the gallows. No, of course his friend was happy to be here. And yes, that was very much a smile on his face, as Stede took out a piece of bright yellow cake out of the glass display and set it on the counter gently, along with the man's order, coffee, black, five sugars.
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly," Edward said, softly, trying to push the plate away. Stede's smile only grew.
"Oh no, my dear, I insist." He pushed the plate back. Edward sighed.
And here was the truth, not that either of them would admit to it.
Roach had taken it upon himself to teach his boss how to bake. Had claimed it was a disgrace for someone who owned a cafe to not know the difference between baking soda and yeast. Naturally, Stede had joyously agreed. Naturally, he had asked Edward to sample his creations. That... that hadn't been as joyous.
It was still unclear whether Edward had really threatened Roach's life behind the cafe or if it was just a vicious rumour, stemming from the way the man glared at the cook every time their paths crossed.
Edward carefully scooped a few crumbs with his fork. His hand seemed to shake as he brought them to his mouth but neither man seemed to acknowledge it. His face scrunched in a grimace as he swallowed, which quickly turned into a smile before Stede could notice.
"That's... good," Edward tried, slowly, already working on the second forkful of crumbs. "Very, um, rich. How many lemons did you put in exactly?"
Stede tried to keep the blush away from his cheeks. The other man never failed to compliment his cakes and if he hadn't seen the way his other guests gagged after even a bite, he would have believed him. He wondered if his friend might be missing some of his taste buds.
"Oh, about six or seven. Recipe said two but you know what I always say! The more, the merrier!" The last part Edward mouthed mournfully around his second bite. "Do you really like it?"
Edward looked at him, gaze almost burning, before nodding quickly and shoving another forkful in his mouth.
"Maybe I should try it myself, seeing as at the rate you are going, there will be nothing left," Stede teased lightly, grabbing a fork.
"Nuh-uh, you gave it to me, mate. No backsies." Edward was already dragging the plate away, one hand wrapping around it protectively, the other working to jam the cake as quickly as possible in his mouth. Stede let go of his fork with a laugh.
He knew he wasn't the best baker out there but it made him happy to know at least one person enjoyed his cakes.
"I actually did come for a reason today," Edward finally said, a few minutes later, when not even a crumb was left on his plate. Stede made a noncommittal sound, not looking up. Of course there was a reason. Wasn't his good company and even better cakes reason enough? "The local theatre is putting on a play on Sunday. Shakespeare. At first I thought you'd have to be a special kind of nerd to want to go but then I realised I actually do know a nerd who would enjoy it. So. Would you like to go? With me?"
The last part Edward almost whispered, breathless, but Stede chalked it up to the fact he hadn't taken a single breath during his speech. Stede smiled, the excitement of going to see the play overshadowed only by who he was going with... And then he froze.
Then he remembered he already had plans for this Sunday.
"I'm sorry." He was. "I would love to." He would. Edward was already waving a hand dismissively at him, refusing to look up, fork fishing for crumbs that weren't there. "It's just... this Sunday, Roach and I are preparing meals for the food bank down the road. Their whole kitchen burnt down, it was a whole thing."
Edward stared at him, eyebrows raised. Then something seemed to occur to him and, Stede was unsure how that was even possible, his eyebrows rose even higher. "Isn't Sunday one of your-" the man chose his next words carefully, "-busier days?"
Stede squirmed under his friend's gaze. There was a reason as to why he hadn't mentioned it. "It's the only time they have enough volunteers." And then he added, because he knew how it looked. He wasn't the best shop owner, even without closing on one of his most profitable days. "Besides most people who frequent food banks have a job and the weekend is the only time they can come."
The silence that followed his words was deafening. Finally... Edward laughed, head thrown back, shoulders shaking, one hand curling around his stomach.
"You're a fucking lunatic." There was something in the way he looked at Stede, something that made flames dance underneath his skin. "And I love it."
Something was worrying Edward.
Stede was almost shocked to realise how easy it was to see.
Of course, the other man looked the same, leaning on the counter, sipping slowly at his coffee, black, six sugars, occasionally humming to show he was listening to the other man. And yet, there was something there, in the way his eyes would glaze over occasionally, the way his fingers would twitch around the mug.
Something was worrying Edward and Stede was the only person who could see.
"Is everything okay, Ed?" Finally, he asked, setting aside the towel he had been using to wipe the counter. More like, pretending to. He was the boss, he had to set an example, no matter how much he did want to just sit down with his friend. Judging by the looks Lucius was sending him, he wasn't doing very well with the whole pretending-to-work thing.
Edward hesitated for a moment but then shook his head and took another sip. Stede knew it was only to hide his face but then again, the other man was drinking his coffee. He was so close to figuring out the perfect amount of sugar, he just knew it!
"Nothing really, mate. Just… the weather, fear of taxes, existential dread, that sorta thing." Edward shrugged.
"Well, you know you can always talk to me." Stede reached out, resting his hand between them on the counter. It only took a second and then Edward was closing the distance, laying his hand on top of Stede's. "If there is a problem, we can always talk it through."
"As a crew," came the well-trained response from at least 5 different directions. Even Lucius, who had been concentrating on taking an order, brows furrowing, mumbled it automatically.
Edward stared at them for a few seconds, debating, before turning to the other man. He leaned forward and so did Stede, drawn by invisible strings.
They were so close, their noses almost touching and if Stede could focus, he would have worried if the beating of his heart was as loud as drums to everyone else besides him. As it was, he just had to hope that everyone had suddenly grown deaf and try his best to listen to Edward.
The man was opening up to him; it really was so very unfair of him to daydream about how soft his beard would be.
"Sometimes, it just seems too much, man." Edward sighed, hand squeezing Stede's. "Like I'm just treading water. Waiting to drown?"
Or how nice it would feel between his fingers as Stede drew him close...
Stede's eyes widened and he tried to play it off as shock from hearing the other's words. Which was tricky, seeing as he hadn't heard a single word.
But then Edward was staring at him, wide-eyed panic making his whole face flush. And then he was letting go of Stede's hand, shrinking back, turning away.
"I didn't mean it like that. I'm not... a risk to myself or anything."
It was easier to think, now that he couldn't feel Edward's breath on his cheek. It still took him too long to realise this had been the wrong way to react. He reached out a hand, didn't wait for Edward to draw near. Just curled his fingers around ink-stained ones and used his grip to pull the other towards him.
"None of this now," Stede said softly. It felt like he was talking to his children, on the rare occasion they had a nightmare and came to him, instead of Mary. "You can tell me anything. This is a safe space."
Edward hesitated, for only a moment, and then he was talking. Stede didn't know who was more surprised about this -he or Edward himself. Within minutes, his friend was telling him about his job, about his insufferable customers. How he had tattooed an anchor with the words 'Refuse to sink' five times. This week. Which was stupid. And pointless. It just made the anchor bad at its job, Edward explained, exasperated. Stede had to remind himself to listen, instead of focusing on the way the other man's cheeks had flushed in frustration.
The coffee, half-empty, laid forgotten between them.
The noise Edward made as he took a sip of his drink, coffee, black, seven sugars, was unlike anything Stede had ever heard. It almost made him drop the plate he was holding. It also almost distracted him enough to forget the question he had been gathering his courage to ask all day.
He didn't know which one was worse.
Edward dug into the tiramisu and made that noise again, a mixture between a groan and a moan, and Stede wrapped a hand around the edge of the counter and held for dear life.
"So I was thinking," he started, cleared his throat when his voice came out too husky.
"Did you make this?" Edward asked, mouth full, pointing a fork towards his plate. Stede nodded. Wasn't sure he could even say anything without squeaking. "Mate, this is your best one yet! It's amazing."
And it might have been the compliment that gave him the courage. It might have been, and most probably was, the fact Edward was no longer looking at him, making that noise.
"Would you like to come to the farmers' market with me?" he asked, so quickly the words blurred together.
Edward looked up, just for a second, before digging into his dessert again. "Is that one of those places with the rabbit food and the people?"
It was unclear from his voice which one was worse. Stede nodded, before realising his friend couldn't see him. "Yeah."
Edward shook his head. "Not really my type of place, mate."
Something alike dread wrapped its cold tendrils around Stede's heart. He refused to admit, even to himself, it was disappointment. Even if, and that was a big if, Stede was realising, Edward wanted to go out with him, he would probably prefer to go somewhere cool. Not to a freaking farmers' market.
He tried to stop himself from sighing as he busied himself with making the order Lucius had been waiting for, for the last five minutes. Even Stede had his limits on how many death stares he could bear.
"When are we going?" Edward finally looked up, only after finishing his dessert. Stede was already pushing a second plate with an even bigger slice toward him, but at his words he froze.
"I thought you don't like farmers' markets?"
Edward shrugged. "Yeah, but you do." It seemed like explanation enough. Then he looked at the second slice in front of him and raised an eyebrow. "Let me at least pay for this one, man. I can't just keep eating your food like that."
Stede was too busy stopping himself from squealing in delight like someone his age should not be allowed to, to even dignify that with a response. He just waved at Edward and then pushed the second plate towards him with even more determination.
"You do realise, I hope, the point of a business is to charge people for your services."
Somewhere in the kitchen, Lucius laughed and it seemed to be enough to snap Stede out of mentally dancing on the counter with glee. He shrugged, then peered at the other's cup. Still half full.
He longed for the days he knew Edward's exact order so he could stop being a psycho stalker. He didn't like how easily he had fallen into that role.
"You rarely even finish your coffee." Stede shrugged. It hardly mattered it wasn't a good enough reason. He was the owner here and he decided if he charged someone or not. And if Edward tried anything, Stede would make him pay. Or not pay, as it was.
Edward seemed to realise the same thing, at the exact same moment.
"Then I'll just have to pay for you at that farmers' market of yours." Edward grinned and Stede followed suit.
It just meant he would need to start feeding him more.
The look of betrayal Edward shot him when he tried his coffee, black, eight sugars, was scathing.
Back to the drawing board, Stede thought bitterly.
It really was getting late.
Stede glanced at the clock, almost 10pm and then at the dark, deserted street outside.
It rarely happened that he needed to stay so late but that birthday party had run almost two hours over their closing time. Black Pete and Lucius had offered to stay and help him close. But they had also told him about their plans for tonight on four separate occasions during the day and Stede felt horrible to keep them from enjoying their romantic evening.
As a result, here he was, half his tables, half his floor, covered in crumbs, closing the till.
The door opened and his first thought was that he had forgotten to lock up. His second was that he had nothing but a bottle of chocolate syrup around him to defend himself with. He still grabbed it, better than nothing, before raising his head.
"You really need to start locking the door when you are here on your own," Edward said, strutting inside. He wiggled his fingers at Stede and it took a moment before the cafe owner realised what was asked of him. He passed the keys to his friend.
"Thank you," Stede said, rather sulkily. He had manners. It was a shame sometimes he couldn't switch them off.
Edward apparently wasn't done. "Pass me the towel?"
"I'm sorry?" That actually did make Stede freeze, and lose his count. Goodness, there went a few minutes down the drain.
"The towel? Just behind you?" Edward pointed at it, as if his friend had suddenly forgotten what a towel was.
"What for?" Stede was still staring and Edward stared back. Then turned, very pointedly, towards the mess in the middle of his cafe. Stede blushed. It was late and he was exhausted, he couldn't really control it, now, could he? "Oh, no, no, there is no need." He hurried to add, "But thank you very much."
"Will you get done quicker if I help?" When Stede refused to answer, because he too, could be petty, Edward sighed. And then, and then he leaned forward. Right across the counter, so close to the other man, Stede could smell him, parchment and ink, and Stede was swaying towards the smell and the warmth, eyes fluttering close.
What?
He was tired. It was late.
And then Edward was gone and Stede was suddenly so cold. All for the better, he told himself, as he had no time for daydreaming today.
Working together, they managed to close the cafe in half an hour.
Stede had a slice of cake in a to-go box and refused to take no for an answer. For his part, Edward only protested twice. It seemed to be much easier now that Stede had gotten the hang of the whole baking thing.
"Let me walk you home." Edward said. For the untrained ear it would have been a question, but the way he was staring at him, Stede knew his friend would follow him home, one way or another. It would be better for both of them if that didn't involve Edward trailing behind him like a stalker.
"Which one's your shop?" Stede asked as they made their way down the street. He realised he had never asked and that brought a slight pang of guilt.
Edward nodded towards a shop down the street and, after a few seconds of silence, offered, "Wanna see?"
Of course, the way Stede nodded was entirely normal and not in any way overly-excited. Truthfully, there was no reason for Edward to laugh like that.
The studio was small, dim, every surface filled with drawings of tattoo designs and Stede devoured them hungrily. Of course, he had always been aware his friend was talented. Edward had told him, after a normal amount of bugging, that most of the designs on his body were his own and some tattoos he had even been able to do himself.
But it was different to see them like that, just sketches, half-finished and raw. It almost felt like Stede was seeing something that was supposed to be hidden and it made them seem... magical, almost.
"Edward, these are incredible," he breathed out, raising his head to look at his friend, who was suddenly too preoccupied with a drawing on the other side of the desk. Edward twitched at his words but still refused to look at him.
Stede pressed on, "You are so talented."
The other man mumbled something that could have been translated into "Thank you". Or maybe, "Fuck off". Stede knew which one he would choose to believe his friend had said, even though he knew him far too well for that.
Edward let him snoop around for a little bit longer, even letting him ramble on about his favourite pieces. Stede knew he was testing his patience, with the way the other man looked around at every compliment, a blush dyeing the roots of his beard scarlet.
"Come on. You can come around some other time. When half the city is not currently sleeping," Edward finally said, ushering him out and honestly? Stede was surprised it had taken that long.
He looked around aimlessly while the other man was locking up and... stared right at his cafe. It was dark inside and it was from a distance but he could clearly make out his till. And his coffee machine.
"Did you know you could see my cafe from here?" He turned to Edward, like a child that had just noticed the clouds in the sky made funny shapes.
"Is that so?" And Edward was definitely refusing to look at him now, one hand coming to rest on the small of Stede's back and gently leading him down the street. For a moment, Stede forgot what they had been talking about and it must have shown, because the other man seemed to rush at the opportunity. "So, which one did you like the most?"
Faced between discussing the weird coincidence that Edward's shop was facing his cafe and gushing over his friend's artistic abilities... It was no trouble guessing which one Stede chose.
"I could, maybe, do one for you?" Edward asked, suddenly.
"Yeah?" There was something breathless in the way Stede replied, rivalled only by Edward's own,
"Yeah."
Edward looked at him, smiled softly. For a moment, the whole world stood still. There was no sound, just the beating of Stede's heart, no light, just the twinkle in Edward's eyes.
Edward took a breath, a shuddering little thing... stepped forward. He was so close, Stede could feel his warmth again and he let his eyes close, feeling the weight of the day seep out of his body.
And then Edward was turning away, taking a step back and Stede couldn't help the sigh of disappointment.
"What kind?" Edward asked, after what seemed like an eternity of silence.
"Hm?"
"What kind of tattoo? I would need to know that. Given I would be the one drawing it." The man grinned, but there was something very tired in his eyes.
"Oh." Stede pretended to consider it. Didn't even last five seconds. "I suppose a lighthouse would be nice. I saw a drawing of it on your desk?"
For some reason, that made Edward stare at him. He opened his mouth, lips forming soundless words before he shook his head with a chuckle. "Would look pretty lonely, don't you think. Lighthouses are supposed to guard things, aren't they?"
Stede did think about it for a moment. "Well, we can always put a nice bird on it, keep it company."
"Yeah, but, see, now you are dooming this bird to starvation, Stede. Poor little thing, will turn into feathers and bones." Edward shook his head in mock horror.
"I know exactly what you are trying to do, Ed." Stede warned. Even though the other man was keeping his distance now, he could almost feel the same warmth, licking at his skin. It made him feel bold.
He traced a finger over the inked tentacles on Edward's arm. Felt the muscles shift underneath his touch. "We can put something like this around the lighthouse. Give the bird something to eat."
Edward stared at him, stared at Stede's hand, now far away from his tattoo. Narrowed his eyes just slightly. "'Fraid to tell you, mate, but I don't think your little bird could handle the Kraken."
Stede shrugged. And then, because it was late and he was tired and not entirely lucid, he winked at the other man. "Who said my bird was little?"
Edward laughed, the same one that made his whole body shake and Stede wasn't sure what he had done to deserve two of those in the same day.
Soon after, they found themselves in front of Stede's flat.
"Want to come up? For a nightcap?" He was unsure where this sudden confidence had come from. He liked it.
But Edward was shaking his head. "Nah. Early day tomorrow, mate. And you really look like you could use some beauty sleep."
Stede would have been offended, if it wasn't absolutely true. And if he had the energy to scoff.
"Night night," instead, he said, smiling at his friend.
"Night night."
Chapter End Notes
What is the point of a fanfic if you can't force these two to be as sweetly stupid as you can get away with, I ask?!
Stay tuned for the next chapter, when they go on a date. Only, one of them doesn't realise it's a date. I'll let you guess which one...
Chapter 4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Stede barely had any time to move away as Edward sprinted across the cafe and jumped over the counter. He did have the time to stare at the way his friend gripped the edge, muscles straining, but that was not something he would ever discuss in polite society. Or with anyone, to be fair.
He had barely been able to formulate the question in his mind, let alone ask it, before Edward was shushing him, a finger pressing against parted lips. Stede didn't stare. No, sir!
"You gotta hide me, man," his friend hissed, making Stede (continue to) stare. He was used to shenanigans in his cafe. He just wasn't used to them coming from someone else other than himself. "It's Izzy."
"In-love-with-you Izzy?" Stede hissed back, not that he needed to. Everyone in the cafe was already looking at them. They weren't exactly very good at the whole spy thing.
Edward nodded and tried to tuck his flailing limbs even closer to his body. It really didn't work and only partially because the man was twice the height of the counter.
Stede was about to say something, maybe offer to hide him in the kitchen, if he was willing to risk his head being cleaved off by Roach, when the sound of the door opening drew his attention. Male-Karen was striding in, like he owned the place. Nothing out of the ordinary, until Edward started hissing again, "That's him!"
Stede turned to him in disbelief. "Male-Karen is your Izzy?"
Edward matched his expression. "Izzy is your Male-Karen?"
They weren't even okay at the whole spy thing.
Izzy/Male-Karen had already reached the counter when Stede turned to greet him, "Welcome, how may I help you today." His smile was wide and fake, but that really was nothing out of the ordinary when it came to the man in front of him.
Male-Karen didn't even meet his eyes, instead choosing to stare at the lump of black leather under the counter. "I've come to gather my colleague, who is very clearly hiding under your counter, so if you don't mind... Edward, let's go."
Male-Karen waved a hand at Edward and Stede's smile only widened. "I'm afraid we cannot help you with this, Mr. Karen-"
"Hands," Edward supplied helpfully from under the counter.
"Mr. Karen-Hands. There is no one here matching this description. If there is anything else at all?"
Izzy stared at Stede, then moved his gaze back to what was clearly Edward crouching on the floor. "I can see... I can hear him. Edward, I can hear you."
Stede took a step to the side, wedging himself between the wall and his friend. It did help to obscure him from view, even if slightly. On the other hand, Stede could now feel the warmth seeping out of the other's body, plastered against his leg. He might have regretted his decision, if he was able to think.
"Would you like anything to drink?" His smile wavered for only just a moment but Male-Karen was not even looking at him.
A few seconds passed, in which Izzy just glared at Stede and then at Edward, before moving on to Lucius, as if hoping for at least one reasonable person to confirm what he was seeing and hearing. But then Lucius just smiled at him and repeated Stede's question and...
"What the fuck?" The man looked around, once again, but when people continued to stare at him like he was the one going insane... Izzy quickly left the cafe, a slew of curses trailing behind him.
He had barely even closed the door, and Edward was emerging from his hiding place. He made no effort to move, however, and Stede found himself caught between the wall and the other man's chest.
"What was that about?" He asked, more to drown the beating of his heart than because he was curious. Don't get him wrong, he did want to know. It just didn't feel like a priority at the moment.
Edward didn't seem to share his apprehension. In fact, he didn't even look like he minded the close proximity as he leaned forward, reducing the space between them even more. If he could, Stede would have taken a step back. Probably.
"He wanted me to do one of those mind-numbingly boring infinity tattoos, with the word love on them. Told him that if he booked it, he could do it himself. I'm only doing what I find interesting now." Edward's fingers ghosted over his forearms, nails barely scraping at the fabric and Stede felt his breath hitch.
"Which, apparently, is hiding under my counter?" He laughed, or tried to. It rushed out in a single puff of scalding air. Strange but Edward sounded just as breathless.
"Really wasn't that bad, mate." The fingers were now wrapping around his biceps and for a moment Stede forgot how to breathe. "Might even do it again, sometimes."
Edward was so close, his beard tickling Stede's neck with every hitch of his chest. And yet, the other man swayed even closer...
Something clattered to the floor. "Oh my god, this is happening."
Both of their heads snapped in the direction of the voice, "What?"
"What?"
Lucius was standing at the door to the kitchen, a tray, luckily empty, at his feet. Edward was the first to move, grasping the other man's shoulders as if he was about to keel over. Judging by the distinct lack of blood on Lucius' face, that did seem like a possibility.
"You okay, boy?" Edward asked and his voice was so different now, full of worry, that it managed to snap Stede out of whatever trance he had gotten himself into.
Almost automatically, he turned to the coffee machine and began preparing Ed's drink, coffee, seven sugars. As he was setting it on the counter, he eyed the milk in the fridge and decided to risk it.
When everything else fails, add a dollop of milk, or something like that, right?
Edward had decided Lucius was not about to faint due to whatever horrific scene he had just witnessed, when Stede pushed the coffee towards him. He stared, blinked and was he... was he blushing under the beard?
"Um, thanks, mate." Edward fumbled with the mug, not once raising his eyes. "I'll probably have to go help Izzy, you know. Can't stay long."
"Nonsense. I'm sure Mr. Big-Shot-Karen can handle one little tattoo." Stede waved a hand and was rewarded with one of those special laughs Edward seemed to save just for him. He turned around to plate a slice of his new 40-orange-glaze, add 10 more for the batter, cake, and almost missed the look of horror on his friend's face.
"Oh, no, no, mate." Edward didn't even attempt to push the plate back. "I can't possibly keep eating your cakes."
"Don't be ridiculous, dear. It's a new recipe, I don't think you have tried it yet." Stede nudged the cake closer.
Edward stared. "Oh, believe me, I have," he mumbled, even as he lifted a fork.
In the end, when Ed decided Izzy had finally suffered enough, he left an empty plate.
And an empty mug.
Edward was proving to be the best person to bring to the farmers' market, it seemed. Stede had never bought so many exotic vegetables, encouraged by his friend's, "Of course, you can cook this, man, are you kidding?" That is to say, Stede had never let anyone buy so much food for him. He had not been allowed to even think about his wallet today. He wasn't even sure he had brought it with him.
He had, or as it currently were, Edward was holding, bags upon bags of things Stede could not even pronounce. For someone who was also seeing some of that produce for the first time, Edward did appear very sure of the other's cooking abilities. Stede couldn't find a single reason as to why he would correct him.
He grabbed a couple of greener-looking asparagus and passed them to the shopkeeper. Edward turned around and presented his back to him.
Stede stared. Then felt bad for staring, then felt even worse when he realised he didn't know what else he was supposed to do other than stare. "Um?" rather eloquently, he squeaked out.
He could almost taste the exasperation in Edward's voice as the other man pointed out, "Wallet, in my back pocket." He lifted the bags in his hands slightly. Only slightly, as he was currently holding half the market's inventory and even Edward wasn't that strong. "It's not like I can reach it."
Stede stared, maybe he hadn't ever stopped, as his friend now wiggled his back pocket in order to emphasise his words.
"No," he took a deep breath, was it getting warm in here? "I can get this. You've paid for everything else today."
And then, Edward moved all the bags to one hand and Stede could see him sway slightly, before readjusting, before those muscles twitched and the grip tightened. And then, he was fishing out his wallet and taking out his card with his teeth and Stede would have scolded him but there his teeth went, flashing and... Stede could have died.
Might have died.
Probably did, knowing his luck.
He felt Edward place a hand on his back, not really guiding him anywhere, just resting there and tried very hard to focus on something other than his friend's teeth and lips and...
"Would you like me to help?" Surely, the discomfort of the weight of a few kilograms of potatoes would help with his sudden inability to stop staring. He didn't even wait for Edward's response and reached for a bag. But his friend was faster, swinging his treasure away from the other's searching hands. When Stede tried again, knowing full well his friend would be the one to tire first, Edward grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers. Then pulled at it to keep it between them and out of reach of anything vegetable-related.
"At least that way I don't risk losing you again," Edward teased and the fact he was smirking only made Stede blush harder.
"That happened once!" Stede protested, as he always did, and Edward laughed, as he always did.
There was a little cafe just next to the parking lot and Stede dragged them happily towards it. Edward knew better than to try and stop him.
"Good afternoon, can I get a coffee, black for this fine gentleman-" Stede waved a hand theatrically at Edward, who, in turn, gave a dramatic bow. Or, tried to, as the weight of the bags threatened to topple him over if he pushed his luck. "And a coffee, a dollop of milk and seven sugars for myself, please and thank you."
Edward still tried to pay, even after Stede slapped his hand away. If he didn't know any better, Stede would have sworn that he heard the other mutter vague threats about never visiting his cafe again. Which quickly died down the moment Stede smiled at him.
"Would you like to stay here?" He asked, even thought he knew the answer, even without looking around. There were too many people, a cacophony of voices, and Edward just grunted, head tilting towards the door. As they walked, Stede made an attempt at grabbing a bag again, but it was mostly to force a chuckle out of his friend's throat as the two coffees wobbled in his grip.
Soon after and Stede finally had a way to contribute. Edward slowed down before stopping and sighing dramatically. "Even a carriage horse needs some rest from time to time," he drawled and Stede would have pointed out he had offered his help, multiple times. But Edward was smiling at him, a soft and teasing little thing and he couldn't help but return it.
He raised the other man's coffee in a silent question and barely waited for the nod before he was pressing the cup to Edward's mouth.
And then it finally occurred to him. Edward, hands full of Stede's groceries, Edward who had not let him pay for anything, who had held his hand the whole day. Who was currently letting Stede pour scalding coffee into his mouth, eyes closed and head tilted back.
Sensibly, he waited until his friend had stopped drinking to say, "This is a date."
Edward still managed to choke on air.
"Well," he finally managed and it sounded strangled. "If you want it to be?"
Stede kissed him.
One minute he was not kissing him and then the next he was pressing against him, fingers burying in his beard, chest heaving against chest. Edward seemed surprised, for only a second, before the groceries were flying to the ground, joining the two coffees, and hands were wrapping around Stede's waist, moving up and down his spine, dragging him even closer.
"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this," Edward was maybe murmuring against his lips and that might have been the longest sentence he had ever said to Stede except he was kissing him again and Stede was really not in any condition to ponder this. One of Edward's hands pressed against his jaw, manoeuvring him slightly to the side, and Stede tried to bite down the moan before it escaped, before Edward managed to devour it hungrily and...
There was something wet against his shoe and he moved slightly to escape it. Only it wasn't as slightly as he had thought it would be, and his foot connected with a few kilograms of potatoes and next thing he knew he was flying towards the ground. Or would have, had it not been for Edward holding onto him. Stede peered down, at the two coffees, now forming a puddle in their feet and the various vegetables spilled all around them.
When he looked up, Edward was staring at him. The warmth was dimmer now, guarded slightly. He looked like he was expecting something, a dangling hatchet over his head. But he was still wrapped around him like a vine, even thought the danger of Stede finding himself face down in the coffee mud had long passed. Surely, that counted for something?
It might have been the only thing that gave him the courage to do what he did next. Stede laughed. His fingers were still tangled in the other's beard, by god, it was even softer than he had imagined, and he gave Edward's jaw a gentle squeeze.
"We might want to move away. I feel bad for your leather shoes."
Edward gave a slight shrug, even as he bent down to collect the bags. But he also kept one hand firmly planted on the other's back and that felt like more than enough. This time Stede didn't even pretend he wanted to help and let himself be herded towards the car.
This was a date.
A date.
And Edward had kissed him. Or, actually, Stede had kissed him and Edward had kissed him back. He waited for the other man to be too occupied with sorting out the groceries before he let himself cackle. Truthfully, it was more of a giggle, but as no one else was around to hear him, Stede thought it suitable to call it whatever he wanted.
"You owe me a coffee," was the first thing Edward said to him as he joined him inside the car. The first thing after Stede had realised they were currently on a date. His eyes narrowed and his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was not pouting. But if he was? Surely, he had a pretty good reason for it.
Where were all those sweet-nothings Edward had been whispering to him just moments ago.
"And you owe me at least a few more kisses." He had meant for it to be snappy. He hadn't meant for his voice to come out as soft as it did or for his lips to tug into a smile he tried desperately to bite away.
"What's the exchange rate of that? I need to make sure you won't swindle me out of kisses." Edward shook his head but he was also trying not to smile. He made no effort to start the car.
"Hmm..." Stede pretended to ponder the question, even as a hand was brushing against his knee. "It's a very volatile currency, that is for sure. Maybe, at least 5 kisses to 1 coffee, now?"
The hand was now digging at his thigh, dragging him closer. "Hm," Edward mirrored the sound as he leaned forward, letting their noses brush together, ever so slightly. "I think that's more than fair." His breath tickled at Stede's cheek and so did his beard. "How many coffees have you made for me?"
Stede would have laughed but there was no air between their bodies, not anymore, there was no space and Edward was kissing him again. Even at that awkward angle, with arms not quite reaching all the way around him... How was it even better than before.
"At least a hundred," he managed breathlessly, only mildly distracted by the hand inching up his leg.
Edward nuzzled up against his neck, teeth dragging against heated flesh. "Hmmm, a thousand?"
Stede laughed. Then pulled Edward closer for another kiss. "Oh, surely, even more."
After all, he needed to start collecting on that debt, sooner or later.
He wondered briefly, what was the exchange rate of cake then?
Chapter End Notes
I was actually giggling at some point while writing this fic, so you know I have it bad!
I do have some very vague plans of writing an Edward POV, because I feel like he comes off as smarter than he actually is and we need to set the record straight.
Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you liked it.
Afterword
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