The Viking Stranger: Adopted by a mama dragon. I approve !
Re: To be fair, I think Elma would make a great mom once the sheer "novelty" of modern-day foods wore off.
And of course, in case it isn't obvious-enough already, Elma is one of my (if not the) favorite character from Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid.
To LoamyCoffee, if you're referring to the one that "reads mackerel"(that's the literal English translation, by the way), then yes, I have something funny in mind for when Telne appears. The manga is still ongoing, but I'm caught-up enough that I have a little more material to work with, though since I/Takei is respecting the "privacy" of Elma and the others' lives, I/he won't ask for a full Biography.
To Nokraz, Elma is the very definition of "cute" (unless Kanna is in the picture; then she comes in a very close second), and I'm greatly enjoying writing Slice-of-Life kinda stories before shit gets really weird in the main My Hero Academia storyline.
Harleking31: Damn! He has magic now?! That's busted
Re: You know, funny you should mention that...~
*AHA*
As soon as it really dawned on me what the "Magic App" in my hands actually meant, I almost lost myself in the sort of power fantasy that most of the "Trash Protagonists" in the Isekai sub-genre suffered from.
While it was true that Magic in a world "without" was always a game changer, it wasn't all that different from having a the bigger gun; or just a really big stick. Power by itself wasn't any sort of guarantor of success or happiness. In fact, if used incorrectly, it could be a source of misery.
And notwithstanding the fact that Magic users probably had to keep their abilities secret, or just be really good at weaving yarns if I took things about this world to their logical conclusion, this particular brand of magic was limited to both Mana Capacity, as well as Programming Syntax.
Sure, Elma had already installed a number of Spells/Programs that in of themselves could be quite "busted" if not outright "broken", but the big problem was on my end. Without Elma nearby to supply Mana, if I wanted to use Magic without her around, it'd be on me and me alone to foot the bill. The App didn't actually "hold" the Magic, but more like it "shortcut" the process of weaving the raw Mana into its desired end-result. Like using a bookmark in a web browser instead of having to memorize a url address.
Not to mention that while Elma was feeding me a little Magic at a time with her "Dragon Fin Soup", it was just that; a little at a time. Now, I don't know if I'm already a "vessel" and Elma is just filling it up, or if one is being made inside of me from scratch, but I somehow doubt I'll be able to use magic to the same scale as Elma and her other fire-breathing friends. Not within the span of a Human lifetime anyway assuming I can't increase my "Spell Slots" on my own.
I supposed like with my other "Cheat Ability", [Tactical Time Dilation], it'll all come down to picking the time and place to use my limited uptime.
Not that I could ever use Magic in a way people could take notice of! In a world as-obsessed with superpowers as this one, suddenly manifesting meta-abilities outside my "space cat power" would raise too many uncomfortable questions. Like, sure, everyone says "Quirk Marriages" are outlawed, but how the hell would anyone actually enforce that? What's stopping people from abducting other people and just milking them for high-value seed before selling it to the highest bidder?
Energy requirements aside, there was the Programming Syntax.
Kobayashi-san had in all likelihood gone to college for Systems Engineering, and then been a corporate slave for a number of years. She got as good at programming in that language as she did through raw effort; no "Isekai Cheat Abilities" required.
True, I'd been able to "re-learn" Japanese at a blistering pace, but that was because I had the chemical memories of the brain I'd "Captain Ginyu'd" my way into. I'd never done anything even close to computer programming in my first life, and neither had Takehiko. If I wanted to create new Spells for the App, I'd have to do it the old-fashioned way.
Easier said than done. Jigokumeguri's programming language was the very definition of "non-standard", so it wasn't like I could take an entry-level course and work my way up. Learning what came to Kobayashi-San so naturally meant starting out on "Ironman Mode" from the get-go in terms of difficulty. And maybe Fafnir was that kind of masochistic, but I certainly wasn't.
Yet even still, I was enamored with the idea of pliable magic at my fingertips; what I actually could do with it even if only for purely recreational purposes. The very idea that I could make something so-fantastical a part of my life made me feel the most child-like I had been since I was... well... a child. And I made this interest known to Elma as we made our way home, only receiving a tender motherly smile and an affectionate head-rub.
*AHA*
To my amazement, by breakfast the following morning Elma had already prepared a custom-tooled training menu calibrated for my exacting mental abilities that would get me up to speed in the most-expedient manner possible. It included a "dossier/character bio" of my stats including (but not limited to) biorhythm, school grades, sleep cycles, biometrics, interpersonal relationships, frequency of bathroom breaks... Basically everything that someone like Batman would gather together for one of his infamous Contingency Plans.
The data she'd accumulated on me, making me think back to the time she "researched" everyone at the company she'd worked at so she could better negotiate for better pay and shorter hours, got a little bit too intensive when I stumbled upon predictions of my first "Nocturnal Emission". She included information like expected date, who I'd fantasize about measured by probability, the position my dream girl was likely to be in, whether I was top and/or bottom (however the HFIL that worked...), as well as what they and/or I was wearing "as applicable" at the time of aforementioned fantasy, and even the setting I was likely to fantasize about therein.
Suffice it to say, the amount of paperwork dedicated to this subject alone was as-disturbing as it was impressive.
. . .
No, scratch that; it was more-disturbing than it was impressive.
And I mean sure, obviously Hitomi would be the one I was most-likely to fantasize about in an adult matter, that was a given. However, there was no freaking way that Doppel's probability factor was that high compared to the rest of the Mon Squad, and she definitely undersold where Manako stood in the rankings. And I know for certain that I wouldn't think of Shiori that way; Kuromi, maybe, I don't know how the hell she got it into her head that she isn't "protagonist material", because she definitely is; but definitely not the 2D Girl. Papi... I don't know what the hell I said or did to make Elma think that that was what I was into where my "imouto" was concerned, but just... No, just... No. Also, I pray to God/Kami/Ra/Odin/Vishnu that the inclusion of a croqembouche was just because Elma was hungry when she was drafting this, and not because she thought I'd actually get my dick wet for a fancy tower of creampuffs.
Shhhhhit. Where was I going with this again?
Oh, right, Magic App.
Ahem... SO...!
One mental application of brain bleach later (after stashing away my "Training Menu" in a place that Sorahiko (or Kami forbid any of the women in my life) couldn't find it), when it came up that I planned to spend the day at Bunkyo with Mei and Momo, Elma swiftly offered to escort me to the train station.
This of course was code for carrying me there herself (in Dragon Form) whenever we were in mixed company.
Sorahiko for his part made that damned trading card comment again, but I put it out of my mind because I didn't want to meet up with Mei and Momo in a sour mood.
*AHA*
"Hot soup?"
"Sure. Oh, but no rush. I don't want them to think I got up at the crack of dawn to meet them, and now that I've gotten used to the sensation, I actually really enjoy flying."
"Ah, sure thing. We'll take the scenic route."
"Thank you for taking time out of your day to do this for me. I really mean it."
"Hmhm~ Anything for my little ocean wave~"
Elma slowing her pace considerably and taking greater meandering strokes through the morning sky, as I carefully imbibed on the magical elixir Elma had taken the time to prepare for me, I turned my thoughts to the girls I was on my way to see.
Watching the friendship between the spaztastic Hatsume Mei and the sheltered Yaoyorozu "Ojou-sama" Momo blossom, instilled a certain sense of satisfaction. Especially because I'd helped bring the two of them together.
For Mei, it was because she was probably a once-in-a-generation genius; the kind of person whose true value isn't usually seen until they've died. For Momo, it was because she was in a borderline-toxic relationship with her so-called "friends" and was so-desperate for companionship she was willing to put up with anyone that at-worst treated her like a walking ATM until a suitable alternative could be found.
Of course, the two of them living an hour or so away, I didn't really plan on introducing them to my primary friend-group. Obviously, that didn't remain the case after the "Boys in Faux-Blue Episode", though to my pleasant surprise no-one really seemed to latch onto Momo for the money, but were more-curious about the fact that she'd become friends with me. And though no-one especially seemed to care that Mei's parents were tenured professors at Todai, it was quite gratifying to see Mei with more people she could gush to about Support Items.
Even if her penchant for calling them "babies" incited some confused and/or worried and/or embarrassed looks. We were all on the cusp of puberty, after all.
Itsuka, whose Quirk was basically a watered-down version of Ms. Marvel's [Embiggen], was especially interested in how she could bring her [Big Fists] to the next level so as to compete with flashier, more-blatantly-powerful Quirks. Tetsutetsu for his part had somehow gotten hooked on the speed given to him by Gordy's "Mop Bucket Slingshot", and from what I could tell, he basically asked for the 3D Maneuvering Gear from Attack on Titan only with less verticality.
I shuddered to imagine what sort of collateral Tetsutetsu as a "speed junkie" could cause…
To my surprise, Momo had dropped almost the entirety of her quote/unquote "friendgroup" from Miyukiyama. As for how she'd done so, apparently, she donned some non-prescription glasses and grilled them on things that "genuine friends" would actually know about her like it were a job interview; favorite tea, favorite color, favorite holiday, her birthday, what school she wanted to go to in the future, etc.
Suffice it to say, few of them actually held up to any measure of scrutiny, and thus she was able to make them "the bad guys" while she herself came out of the whole affair smelling like roses.
She didn't elaborate upon whether or not she'd mentioned Mei or myself by name, but hopefully she had enough sense not to.
People become Villains for pettier reasons than this. Sad but true.
Mei for her part didn't latch onto Momo for the money, but instead was more-interested in the pliability of what she could make with her [Creation] Quirk, which allegedly was on par with the top-of-the-line 3D Printers that could be found on I-Island; a place that was basically to technology what Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory was to, well, chocolate. And while Momo, sweetheart that she was, would probably make whatever Mei wanted for free, that the manic girl actually paid for what Momo made in cake to replace the lipids that were lost in the manufacturing process, was actually quite endearing, and showed that Mei at-the-least knew that friendship was give and take. That even the best of friendships were still somewhat transactional in nature as you exchanged "time" for "companionship"; something I could more-easily recognize as a Reincarnated adult.
That the picture Momo sent me of their first exchange showed her in tears as she ate a lop-sided cake with way too much chocolate frosting on one side while Mei held a custom-tailored spline flange up to her cheek… It was both heartening and depressing to see that even this modicum of gratitude was all it took to bring Momo to tears.
Anywho, once Kuroko sent word that the HPSC was allowing me to remain armed "in light of recent events", conditional on the stipulation that I arm myself "with a non-lethal alternative" including but not limited to Hero Association-approved Support Items… Somehow or other, Mei found out and wanted to cobble something together custom-made just for me, now that I had direct access to meta-materials reserved largely for the Support Item market. Momo, sweet summer child as she was, wanted to lend one of the family retainers to assure my safety; and of course, it surprised no-one (including myself) that Momo herself had been the target "of such malcontents" in the past and thus had combat-ready retainers (some of which were retired Heroes) to spare.
I graciously declined Momo's offer "for the moment", but I did accept Mei's invite to see what "non-lethal alternatives" I could get rushed over from the HPSC by a quote/unquote "Courier Hero".
Apparently like the Courier Ninjas in Naruto, there was also such a niche in this world of life-risking postmen who had special permission to use their Quirks to ensure the integrity of their parcels through friendly and hostile territory alike. Like in Naruto, these "Courier Heroes" were known for their efficiency and outstanding records; though thankfully they weren't overzealous to the point that they'd refuse to stop if it came to their attention that they were delivering the wrong mail. While most Courier Heroes were land-bound, there were those that could fly or even cross the seas for their work, though because being a Courier Hero wasn't nearly as glamorous as being a Pro Hero, the pickings were slim. Which of course meant their services were in high demand and they got large chunks of change for their billable hours.
I might have to tell Tobita about this, assuming she didn't know already.
On the other end of the "Winged Girl Archetype", I was unsure how far I'd trust Papi with someone else's mail, adorable "imouto" as she was.
*AHA*
One thermos of hot soup, some deep contemplation, and a scenic flight from Asaka-shi to Bunkyo later, and I found myself in the shadow of Tokyo University, sitting in attendance with Mei in her family home while Momo hosted a tea party, pretty as a picture while she served us pastries and Phantom Black Tea "Imperial Golden Tips"; a personal favorite that she never truly got to share with her quote/unquote "friends" back at her middle school.
She was kind-enough to offer Elma some, something she'd have only done if she didn't know about the Dragon OL's gluttonous appetite, but surprisingly-enough, Elma had the good graces to excuse herself. Likely so she could stuff her face and not embarrass me in front of my friends.
"Whoo! This stuff's got some kick!" Mei cackled as she slammed it down.
"Mei, please try to show a little decorum," I sighed as I made a show of inhaling the aroma before imbibing.
To be perfectly frank though, I didn't have the slightest clue what objectively made for good or bad tea, and my apparent Lombax-like mutations didn't seem to grant me any notable enhancement to my olfactory senses. That being the case though, I was happy I could bring a twinkle to Momo's eyes, and if she grew to be even half as much a looker as her mother...
Well, hopefully she had the fortitude to handle the advances of a rabid fanbase, because even if in the worst-case scenario she only became "half the looker" her mother was, there would still be lots of rabid fanboys to pander to and/or politely refuse. Hopefully she didn't wear anything ultra-skintight and conform to gender norms. The Mon Squad and Midnight did so for legitimately-tactical purposes, but I'd seen plenty of cases where "painted-on costumes" were entirely unnecessary!
Ending internal rant…
"While I suppose fine tea such as this isn't for everyone, the company in of itself is of far greater value~" Momo beamed happily.
Urgh…! Cuteness… overload…! Must activate… deflector shields!
"Well, I'm just happy you're getting along in your life now that you've cut out the dead weight."
"Hm. Yes. I had to formulate a plan that'd enable me to tastefully cast those louts aside without damaging the family name," Momo nodded as she imbibed, letting out a graceful sigh that made my heart skip a beat. "But what of you? How is your health?"
"I bounce back fast," I replied, flicking my ears.
"If I may be so bold as to ask, what feline does your Quirk draw its aesthetic qualities from?" Momo inquired curiously.
Mei for her part couldn't seem to care less.
"Some sort of non-terrestrial feline. I'm calling my Quirk [Lombax]."
It seemed as good an explanation as any. Mutant-Type Quirks seemed to run the gamut from mundane to wild to exotic and even all the way up to fantastical. Dragons and centaur and the like made for the most visually striking Heroes, while unfortunately, those whose traits made them look like trolls, gargoyles, or goblins tended to be pressured into becoming Villains. On those whose hearts were strongest were able to rise above societal pressures of conformity, and thankfully "alien cats" were neutral-enough that no-one would truly pressure me one way or another based purely on looks.
Not that I needed too much pressuring to become a Hero. If I wanted to bring the greatest amount of happiness to my family, I'd have to go on the same quest for self-aggrandizement as some of my peers.
And make no mistake. Pure altruism purely for altruism's sake was completely fictitious.
"[Lombax]… It has an enticing ring to it~!" Momo smiled with her hands together.
"So, when's the mailman getting here?" Mei blurted out.
"He'll get here when he gets here."
*Ding*Dong*
"Guess that's them," I said getting up and making for the gate.
*AHA*
Whoa! Thighs ahoy…
"Takehiko Tokei?" a man who I assumed to be the 'Courier Hero', looking disturbingly similar to the Postman from Legend of Zelda, inquired of me as he stood on the Hatsume doorstep.
"Yes, that's me."
"Look into the light, please," he said holding up a high-tech-looking phone, a scanner shining in my face before chiming- "Retinal Match: Verified." "And now for the DNA," he said pulling up a finger and gesturing I do the same before he pricked me with the corner of his device. "DNA Match: Confirmed."
Given there were Shapeshifting Quirks out there, I supposed it made sense to be this cautious. Especially with the black market on Support Items and the like.
"Alright, everything seems to be in order," the man said digging into his shoulder bag before handing me a large package. "Sign here."
I scribbled my John Handock on the form, thankful I'd practiced enough so I wouldn't throw down my old one by mistake and prompt some uncomfortable questions.
"You have a good day, now," the man said before bolting off at highway speeds, actually leaving a dust cloud in his wake.
"Well, at least he isn't using those powers for evil."
"Gimme. Gimme gimme gimme!" Mei cackled giddily as she threw me over the shoulder before running to the clubhouse, Momo staying behind a moment to ensure the door was locked and her tea set was in order before following suit.
*AHA*
"Oooh! That looks pretty slick!" Mei grinned as I slipped the communicator bracelet over my wrist.
A thin elastic-like wristband and colored white with neon green highlights, anyone who'd ever seen those "Behind-the-Scenes" documentaries of Sternbild's Heroes would've easily recognized it as being the same model as the HeroTV Communicators everyone in the industry used back in the day. The design may've been retro by today's standards, and far from flashy compared to what Heroes tended to have custom-made to go with their costumes and/or "brand", but others considered it "timeless". The fact that it continued to do its job over the decades with very few revisions in the design, gave it a strong following the world over even outside the Hero industry.
While the appearance hadn't changed much since Wild Tiger's time, the hard and software inside had, meaning it had the same hologram capabilities as higher end modern "Hero Phones" were oft to possess.
"All I need now are the Lonely Chaser and the Storage Bangle, and my life will be complete," I said jokingly.
"Tiger-Man's sidecar-bike? I could probably make one for you," Mei shrugged.
"I could easily commission one," Momo added a little too eagerly.
"No, no, that's not really necessary. It's one thing that they're letting me carry, but it'd be quite another to give me a driver's license," I said waving the two down.
"Ooh! Ooh! Are those the miniature grappling hook parts?!" Mei asked eagerly as the next part of my 'care package' came into the light, a big green [HPSC Approved] stamp from multiple inspectors slapped atop the packaging.
"Yup. Now I just have to find a suitable watch to gut and I'll never be without."
"Would this do?" Momo asked cutely as she held out a small box containing a fancy-looking octagonal-cased watch with a black face and a brushed-style strap, predominantly silver in color with small traces of gold and red accenting.
" . . . Why did you just-so-happen to be carrying this on you?"
"I-I meant to give it to you as a get-well gift," Momo stammered. "When I started talking to all the wonderful friends you had made, I lost track of the time~"
"Oh yeah, didn't Tiger-man have a grapple-watch too?" Mei asked.
"Technically yes, but I also want to disguise it so bad guys won't confiscate it right away," I deadpanned. Looking down at the expensive timepiece, an old part of me recoiling that I'd have to cannibalize something so-nice in order to give the newer part of me something it really wanted.
"You truly are a fan of Wild Tiger's, aren't you?" Momo giggled, seemingly non-plussed that I'd be gutting something so-obviously-expensive for my own purposes.
Girl was probably so-rich there were fancier timepieces lost between the couch cushions…
"I'm a bit of a fanboy, yes," I admitted.
But at least my room wasn't wall-to-wall Wild Tiger paraphernalia.
Elma had certainly offered to make me some non-officiated figurines, but I abstained; "for now".
"Well then, turn this into your dream watch with my blessing!" Momo nodded as she handed it over.
Doki Doki Senses… tingling!
"You're too good a friend for someone as jaded as me," I said somberly before I gracefully accepted the watch and gave this adorable 'Ojou-sama' a heartfelt hug. One the raven-haired girl eagerly returned for maybe a few seconds too long.
I'd chalk it up to her not knowing what constituted as "too long", but I'd definitely have to teach what did once the "puberty truck" backed over her; and I definitely had the evidence to suggest that she would in fact blossom into a very tall, shapely young woman whose naivete people would definitely take advantage of.
First order of business when I became a professional Hero: advocate for loosened Quirk Restriction Laws in regards to women being sexually harassed by members of the opposite as well as the same gender.
Because Kami forbid, there was some back alley clinic where you could get your gender swapped like with Ivankov from One Piece. Or every trashy gender-swap H-manga my perverted peers refused to shut up about.
*AHA*
"Question."
"Yes, Mei?"
"Why is that grapple glowing in the dark?" the pinkette asked as I reeled in the glowing fluorescent line, orange like the setting sun, riding an office chair across the lab before I trusted it for anything more strenuous than that.
"Perhaps it's so the user will actually know it's been deployed?" Momo groused. "I watched some of the old Hero TV recordings once Takei-kun turned me onto them, and with so many artificial lights around, I suppose it would be possible for a non-illuminated line to be misplaced in the tumult. Especially in the middle of a fight."
"I never gave it that much thought, but yeah, it makes sense," I admitted.
In all likelihood, glowing grapple lines weren't an industry standard. But I supposed since it was a kid who was going to be using this tech, the HPSC wanted to give me the safest equipment possible that'd offer them the largest possible amount of latitude in the event of an accident.
And in a world like this one, I was definitely sure that there were countless deaths accredited to 'Support Item Failure' every year, with the more-embarrassing ones getting swept under the rug.
An example that came to mind from the sediment of my foggy memories was the first superhero book I read that didn't have pictures inside; Chance Fortune and the Outlaws. In the simulator, the titular Chance Fortune (fake user of a "Probability Altering" meta-ability; because who the hell could countermand him?) fired off his grappling hook and leapt off the side of a building without actually checking the line was secure.
Obviously he fell to his "death", which was exactly why I intended to be damn sure my line had caught something before letting my feet leave the ground.
"Mei. I have a question."
"Hai?"
"Why does that kitchen setup have arms? And why is it screaming at me?"
"My gran could do better! And she's dead!" the retro-futuristic Jetsons-style setup against the wall screamed at me.
"Oh, well, I made another cake for my mom and dad after Momo's but they said it wasn't very good so I found a food critic from the back-when times with a bunch of TV shows and programmed a rudimentary personality engram into a VI to motivate me to be better," Mei shrugged like that was a perfectly normal response.
"This lamb is so under-cooked it's following Mary to school!"
"I'm still working out the kinks."
Well, obviously…
"Well, it isn't like this personality type is uncommon in the industry…" Momo hummed thoughtfully as she set off the proximity sensor seemingly for giggles.
"There's enough garlic in here to kill every vampire in Europe!"
"Well, misery does love company," I replied.
I myself had watched some of Gordon Ramsay's content just because him screaming at people was so fucking funny~
It was only when I matured into a well-rounded adult that I actually began to care about the food.
"And just what do you call this mechanical monstrosity?"
"This fish is so raw he's still finding Nemo!"
"Mom and dad called it 'Hell's Easy-Bake Kitchen'!"
"Well, it isn't inaccurate…"
"I'm thinking of patenting this!"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't fucking cook it!"
"Please don't."
"Er, yes, please don't," Momo said after looking like she'd wanted to say something else.
Must… resist… stupidity impulse…!
Must… not… head-pat…!
"This crab is so undercooked I can still hear it singing 'Under the Sea'!"
"Just how many hours of footage have you fed that VI?"
I hardly knew the first thing about Artificial Intelligence, let alone the Virtual variety, but I knew enough about them from watching/playing science fiction TV/games to bullshit as if I did know what the fuck I was talking about.
"Thousands. Literally thousands."
"This souffle has sunk so badly James Cameron wants to make a film about it."
"Yeah, that tracks."
*AHA*
After I finally had enough of a dead British guy screaming at me, I found the off switch before delving into the reject pile in the center of the lab before getting to work on my next project.
As I worked, letting my "Cheat Ability" flow throughme like a Jedi Knight letting the Force guide their hand, I recounted my incident with the Red and Blue Villains once asked, and what Kuroko said transpired after, after Momo expressed an interest.
Mei for her part only cared for her own project.
"I'm unsure how I feel about a minor getting to carry around sidearms, though…" Momo hummed contemplatively.
"There are whole scads of Quirks that render gunpowder-based firearms woefully obsolete. I'm amazed police can't carry anything stronger."
"Though to be fair, any significantly-powerful laser weaponry would be prohibitively expensive to maintain, let alone power," Mei hummed thoughtfully as she worked on a circuit board.
"True. True," I hummed as I reminisced, even as my eyes turned toward the pile of refuse.
I wasn't entirely sure how-much the public knew about Albert Maverick's H-01 battle androids, but those things definitely had to have been fusion-powered. In the Fallout universe, Mass Fusion was able to create fusion power prior to October 23, 2077 when the dying eagle put the dragon to the sword. And if they'd only been able to spread that technology to the world, the Great War might've been entirely avoided. Carbon was the most-common element in the universe, at least where Earth's Periodic Table was concerned, so if they'd sincerely tried to make the switch from Fission to Fusion power...
Hold on…
Was my "Cheat Ability" telling me I could make a Fusion Core with some of this crap…?!
. . .
Awesome.
*AHA*
"So, what's this baby's name?" Mei asked eagerly as I held the creation in my hand.
" . . . The Scorpion Flail."
Said implement turned out remarkably similar to what I remember from Ratchet & Clank: Deadlocked; a cylindrical handle with an ergonomic grip connected to a metallic octahedron with potent-looking metal studs at the intercepting lines and on each eighth face. I wasn't able to concoct a pure-energy binder to connect it, but I wasable to electrify the tether so no-one could just up and grab it in the event I missed.
I'd need further testing to determine if I'd be able to disintegrate "a small asteroid" with this thing, but hopefully once I was done refining it with my [Intuitive Mechanics], I'd be able to use this as a viable offensive weapon against some of the tankier Villains that might come after me.
God I missed the Ratchet & Clank franchise…
"Commencing first test," I narrated to myself as I oriented myself in front of a beat-up looking crash test dummy that looked like it'd seen better days.
Whether it looked that way before or after finding itself here, I had not yet determined.
*AHA*
"HYAH!"
When the tiger-striped blond's downswing was completed however, instead of the Scorpion Flail's beater shooting out, Takei was instead flung back by the electrified thong, the studded beater only falling to the ground once Takei impacted the wall at his back with a- *THUD!*
" . . . Owwwwww."
*Thunk*
"Huh. Looks like Take-Baby No.3 is on the cranky side," Mei hummed thoughtfully as the Scorpion Flail's thong flickered with blue energy before the power cell fizzled out. "That and he's a lightweight."
"Perhaps so, but if every force has an equal and opposite reaction, then I would think against most Villains, you'd only need to be hit with the Scorpion Flail's beater but one time for it to truly carry out its intended function," Momo hummed thoughtfully as Takei picked himself up, a manipulator arm on caterpillar treads like something you'd find in a college workshop rolling over with an icepack in its clawed appendage.
" . . . Thanks, Dum-E."
*AHA*
"I'm glad the Humbler Stun Baton they sent me came with a full technical manual," I hummed as I looked at the complicated pages that accompanied it, my Cheat Ability drinking it all in and unlocking a far-off node on a 'crafting tree' I could more feel than 'see'.
"Indeed, but why are you gathering electrical components if you already have an electrified weapon?" Momo inquired as I continued to gather bits and pieces from around the lab's numerous refuse piles. There was hardly any rhyme or reason to what went where, so it was more like shopping at a used bookstore, hoping for the "diamond in the rough" that'd catch my eye.
"Maybe because I want something with a little more kick than a zappy-stick," I answered as I soldered the last of the wiring in place before slapping the casing shut and lifting it up.
Like most weapons in the Ratchet & Clank franchise, the Tesla Claw was a real monster of a weapon. Its main body was blue with black accenting, orange-colored vents with black casings, and curved copper-colored claws the length of my forearm. It didn't look exactly like the one from the game, but my Cheat Ability had definitely given me the closest thing with the materials I had on hand.
"Don't just stand there gawking at it! Let's light this candle up!" Mei grinned as she pushed a pair of dummies out onto the "firing range", which was basically just a stretch of laboratory floor with measures of distance in both metric and imperial slapped onto the ground in fluorescent tape.
At the moment the two dummies were at the 10-foot line away from zero.
"Initiating first test!" I grinned, wearing rubber gloves and boots as I leveled the hulking monstrosity toward the two dummies.
*THBBBBBBBT!*
"Well that was underwhelming," Mei deadpanned as the thing I'd made only managed to spit a 6-inch (or 15.24 centimeter) tongue of blue lightning before matching smoke started billowing from the vents and I was forced to drop it to the floor. "Your baton still works, right?"
"The Humbler Stun Baton? I should hope so, otherwise those guys at Tartarus are in for a bad time when they need to use theirs."
"Well, let's test out my Lightning-Proof Baby then!" Mei cackled as she scurried over to an improvised changing curtain before coming out in what looked like a set of Flamebreaker Armor from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, only made of plastic instead of metal and rock. "Let 'er rip!"
"M-Mei-chan, I don't think this is safe!" Momo pleaded.
"You're right. This is definitely unsafe," Mei nodded, Momo letting out a relieved sigh only to choke on it as Mei came back with a ratty old mattress and stood in front of it. "Okay now I'm safe. Let 'er rip: take two!"
"Don't worry, I'll put it on the lowest setting," I told Momo as I took out the telescoping black baton and unfurled it to full length, rolling the selector with my thumb upward before walking forward. "Humbler Stun Baton: Test One."
*BZAP!*
"UWAGH!" Mei cried as she was thrown back completely over the mattress meant to catch her.
"THAT was the lowest setting?!" Momo shrieked before she ran over to Mei, who even now was cackling like a complete loon screaming- "IT WORKS!" -and the like.
"Well, the hype on the cover does say a full-powered blast can stop an African Rhino, soooo…"
Walking over to one of the dummies and giving it a full-powered smack to the chest, the next moment the thing burst into flames, the same tread-riding manipulator arm from before rolling over and blasting it with a fire extinguisher.
"Thanks, Dum-E," I said before turning my attention to the indicator bar. "Oh, what the shit?! This thing's only good for three full-powered blasts!?"
"Given you could probably kill an elephant with that thing, I'd only assume you'd need one-per," Momo chastised as she helped Mei out of her plastic and rubber suit, her dreadlocks poofing in all directions despite the insulation.
"Yeah, which is all great and good until I'm fighting four guys and not three," I deadpanned. The rolling selector went from 1 to 5, and assuming the full-powered blasts were meant to knock over super-strong guys that weight as much as a rhino or some other large ungulate, that gave me about 15 low-powered mini-blasts that could literally knock a person off their feet give or take; assuming the power draw was geometric instead of logarithmic. "Well, at least I know this thing works."
Collapsing the telescoping baton and clipping it to my belt, I got back to work on my other project.
*AHA*
Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I was completely incapable, even with my "Cheat Ability", of getting the same sort of mileage I did with the Tesla Claw back in the games…
"Well, the Tesla Claw was an epic fail, but at least I was able to make this."
"A… pencil case…?" Momo blinked as she stared at a pink, barely-used case with Hello Kitty decals all over it.
*Click*
The hidden trigger I installed on the underside activating the hidden mechanism, a pair of metal prongs extended from the end before arcing electricity with a *bzzzzzzt* sound.
"Happy early birthday."
"F-For me?!" Momo gasped with wide eyes.
"You need it more than me," I replied, holding my tongue before I blurted out that I knew what happened yesterday as if I were there. "I disguised it as a pencil case so bad guys wouldn't confiscate it right away, and there's just-enough space for a few pencils and erasers."
"Oh my, th-thank you! Thank you so much! I love it!" Momo beamed with an angelic smile, eyes swelling with tears as she held it to her budding chest.
Stupidity… impulse buffers… failing!
"Hey, where's mine?" Mei pouted as Momo continued to cry fat happy tears.
"Would you rather use this, or a Tesla Claw?"
"Tesla Claw, please~"
Dammit, I was being rhetorical! Hatsume Mei did not need access to lightning-spitting weaponry!
I mean… I didn't intend to stop myself from carrying something like that, but that was beside the point…
*AHA*
"Is… Is that some kind of engine…?" Momo asked confused as my next project began to take form.
"Nah, it's got a trigger and a lateral foregrip on it," Mei said dismissively.
The thing looked like some kind of turbine to be sure, what with its gray cylindrical shape and yellow/black hazard stripes around the muzzle, and I'd mostly cobbled it together from blender, vacuum, food processor, actual engine, and other such parts I'd found around the lab.
Mei had an eye for salvage, I'll give her that much.
"Is it perhaps another absurdist weapon?" Momo inquired as I slapped the last of the chassis plates back into place.
"I call it the Suck Cannon," I blurted out like word vomit, amazed at how-close it resembled the gun I remembered from so many Ratchet & Clank games.
Sure, it was only good against the most fodder of fodder-type enemies, but it was still fun to wipe a field clean before blasting anything left standing with the hyper-accelerated bodies of their friends/co-workers.
"Well… how does it work?" Mei hummed.
"And why does it look so unbalanced?" Momo added.
"I'd like to say it's the world's deadliest vacuum cleaner, using quantum technology to suck smaller enemies in and converting them into explosive projectiles before spitting them back out… but honestly I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, half the time," I answered, Momo looking scandalized at my language while Mei started emptying bins of detritus across the floor.
" . . . So I'm a little messy, so what?" Mei asked unashamedly. "Alright, Takei! Let 'er rip!"
Amazingly-enough, the internal turbine actually spooled up, and to Momo's own visible amazement, an actual vortex appeared from the muzzle of the "gun" sucking in the detritus and scouring the laboratory floor clean.
Of course after that, things started to go horribly wrong.
*WHRRR*CHUK*GRRRRRR!*
"Agh! What the hell is that sound!?" Mei cried as a horrible cacophony of gears grinding that gave me stick shift-related PTSD gurgled from the internal mechanics of the 'gun'.
"Oh crap," I muttered as the thing shuddered in my arms like a bucking broncho and sparked like a live wire, spitting out plumes of smoke and then fire before some kind of siren I most-definitely did not remember installing sounded klaxons.
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Mei cried as she wrenched the gun from my hands, ran to the side of the lab, and chucked the thing into the mouth of another part of the cavern I hadn't noticed before.
*BOOOM!*
*Rumble*Rumble*Rumble*
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . Well if anything, you can always rebrand it as a 'Detritus-Based Weapon'," Mei hummed giddily as mine and Momo's stunned expressions.
*AHA*
"So you now have a gigantic wrench that turns into a smaller wrench, a Ruger with standard rounds, a 'Walloper' that lets you punch people from on range, a Grapple-Watch for mobility made with more-modernized components than what your idol possessed, an extendable flail with an electrified thong, and a high-end stun baton…" Momo hummed thoughtfully as she eyed my gathered implements. "You've definitely upped your arsenal, haven't you?"
"Snrk!"
"What's so funny?" Momo pouted cutely.
"Nothing, nothing~" I chuckled.
"You're lucky I had that crash helmet just lying around, or we'd have gone through way more ice packs!" Mei grinned.
But yeah, suffice it to say, unlike the Walloper, the Scorpion Flail needed a great deal more refinement until it got to a point where I'd trust my life to it. Just because I had the same sort of [Intuitive Mechanics] the Lombax seemed to, that didn't mean what I'd make would automatically work the first time every time. Ratchet's own mechanical failures were proof that a genetic predisposition for tinkering in of itself wasn't enough to ensure success.
And given there was no sunlight down here and barely any clocks, I wouldn't have been surprised if my tinkering pissed the whole day away.
"Hey, Mei. What time is it?"
"Not a clue!"
Yeah, that tracks.
*AHA*
Thankfully, I had not quite yet pissed away the entire day, so I decided to let my Cheat Ability run wild and let myself build what it wanted to make instead of the other way around.
"Whatcha makin'?"
"I'll tell you when I get there."
"It seems to be quite intricate, but also compact…" Momo hummed, racking her brain to figure out what it was I was making.
"It looks like it's almost done."
"Almost, but I need one final component."
A moment later I took out a large package of matcha-flavored Kit-Kats I'd picked up on the way here.
I also gave some to Elma because I loved her to death, but I kept some in reserve for this very purpose.
"Oh, is it snack time already?" Mei asked.
"No, this is payment," I said turning to face Momo.
"Payment? For what?" she inquired as I held the tasty treats out to her.
"I need about two grams of Palladium, Atomic Number 46, in an uninterrupted loop about yea-big in diameter," I said letting my Cheat Ability do the talking for me, using my fingers to indicate the size of the ring I required.
"Oh, is that all?" Momo asked as she took the payment in one hand while extending the other. Her palm glittering pink with traces of blue, her [Creation] Quirk gave me a made-to-order Palladium ring that was set to fit itself into my creation almost perfectly.
"Arigatou."
"You know, I'd have given this to you for free if you'd asked," Momo hummed as I took it from her palm with a pair of tweezers.
"I know, but I have too much respect for you and the effort it took for you to master your Quirk to do so. If you're good at something, never do it for free," I said handing the matcha-flavored Kit-Kats over.
"Oh, well… That's very thoughtful of you. Thank you~" she said with a smile as she held it up to her chest.
Did… Did my heart just skip a beat…?
*AHA*
What felt like a short while later, but was probably significantly longer, Takei closed the 3D-printed casing around his creation and breathed life into it. The device was about the size of two stacked hockey pucks, thrumming with power as it shone a pale blue light upon the three of them. Momo for her part was more-impressed by the intricacy of the thing, but Mei hadn't taken her eyes off of it for a second except for when soldering tools were required.
"So how much does this baby put out?" Mei asked, having some idea of what Takei had created.
Uh, phrasing?
"If my math is right… about 3 gigajoules per second."
"Th-Three gigajoules?! Per second!?" Momo gawped. "Mind you, I'm no mechanic, but even I know that that much power 'per second' is… is… The only other place I can think of where you could get something like this is… is…!"
"I-Island…~" Mei sighed dreamily before shaking herself. "Okay no offense, but you're nowhere near this smart. This from your weird space-cat Quirk?"
"That or some form of savantism from all the brain damage," Takei replied as he wiped sweat from his brow. On the surface he had a resting bitch face, but on the inside, he was doing a little happy dance at what he'd created, now that he'd embraced his status as an Isekai Protagonist.
"That's… That's enough to power an artificial heart for fifty lifetimes…" Momo spitballed.
"Or something uber-powerful for fifteen minutes," Takei said casting his eyes toward Mei's still-incomplete hovercar before taking the humming device up in his hand and handing it over like it were a paperweight and not one of the most-powerful portable power sources ever devised.
" . . . I'm sorry what?" the crosshair-eyed girl blinked after a moment when she realized he were holding it out to her.
"You're still strapped for a lightweight portable power source, aren't you? Consider this an early birthday gift. Or late. Either or."
" . . . "
*CHUUUUUUUUUU~!*
"M-M-M-MEI-CHAN!? W-WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!" Momo gasped as Mei suddenly fisted the front of Takei's shirt and hungrily kissed him right on the mouth; a massive social faux pas in Japanese society, in the context of someone's first kiss.
It would later be disclosed that Takei's "first kiss" technically went to the Undying Girl: Fujimi Yomi, but at the moment Momo had no way of knowing that.
"If we were sexually mature adults, I'd jump your bones right now! Whatever the heck that means!" Mei said with a completely straight face before she ran over to her creation, cackling giddily and in such a way that she'd have been committed if she did so in a public place.
"T-Takei-kun, are you okay…?" Momo asked worriedly as her guy-friend blinked confusedly.
"Uh, yeah… I'm fine…"
"Hmhm hmhm. ha ha ha ha, HAAA HA HAHA! It's alive! ALIIIIIVE!" Mei cackled like a madwoman as the turbine for her hovercar spooled to life, the thing lifting off the sawhorses it'd been placed upon.
"Oh… Oh my goodness…!" Momo gasped with wide eyes.
"I'm wondering how the heck she intends to get that thing outside…"
*AHA*
A part of me had wanted to keep working and make a Back to the Future II-style hoverboard (like they actually had on I-Island, supposedly), but when "Elmama" reminded me of how-late it was getting and that growing hatchlings needed plenty of sleep in their nascent years…
"Oh my! Time sure seems to fly when you're having fun!" Momo chuckled prettily as we got topside and found the setting sun waiting for us.
"Today… is a great day to go flying~"
"Mei, no. Bad girl. You still need to run safety checks for all of the wiring."
"Awwwwwww."
"Ah ah ah, none of the sass."
"Uuugh. Yes, daddy."
"Mei, don't ever call someone that outside the bedroom."
"Is this one of those grown-up 'intercourse' things?"
" . . . Also yes."
"Takei-kun, if you don't mind me saying… With that-what did you call it?" Momo asked.
"Arc Reactor."
"With that Arc Reactor, you could change the world! You could win a Nobel Prize! You could-"
"Endanger millions of innocent people by turbocharging the world's current generation of Anti-NEXT Battle Androids," I deadpanned.
"Oh… Like the H-01s from Sternbild…"
"It was a tumultuous time period for those with meta-abilities, yes."
"And you don't think hooking it up to a miniature hovercar won't draw attention to it?"
"Don't worry. If anyone tries to extract it the wrong way, it'll set off the anti-tampering countermeasures and leave them with a shiny paperweight."
Even if only from a purely fiscal standpoint, this particular model was only made with scraps and Palladium bartered for the price of a large packet of Match Kit-Kats.
"And IIIII helped him~" Mei beamed.
"Wait WHAT?!"
*Booom!*
"Oh no! My baby!" Mei cried as she ran back into her clubhouse.
" . . . I ain't cleaning that up," I deadpanned.
"As you shouldn't," Momo hummed thoughtfully. " . . . Have you ever been to Hokkaido?"
"Uh, that came out of nowhere. Why do you ask?"
"Well, the other day I met someone and there was something… familiar about him."
"Did he have long colorful ears like mine?"
"Well, no, but-"
"Then odds are pretty good it was someone else."
"Right… Yes, of course. What was I thinking?" she asked with a shake of her head. "Would you like a lift home?"
"I mean… I guess if you're offering," I shrugged.
*AHA*
GreedEman, you're a magnificent bastard, and I love how far I got to take that joke~
Also, I'm happy everyone loved "Elmama" so much. As a fan of both Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid and Isekai manga with interesting stories that don't bore me to tears, this was a dynamic I was happy to introduce; especially because with the Mon Squad crossing paths with My Hero Academia: Vigilantes, he needs a live-in motherly figure in his life.
Gran Torino by himself could inspire some bad habits.
It was also fun writing a little more about Takei's "Cheat Ability" now that he's warming up to his role as "Isekai Protag-kun" (as Shiori puts it). Since he doesn't have a video game-style UI, I have to make it all "intuition based", as well as "context sensitive". Outside a workshop, he doesn't know the first thing about tinkering unless it's about watches, and even then those are all CHEMICAL memories. Unlike some authors who make "self-inserts", I didn't give my fictitious self any abilities I didn't already have prior to when I started posting chapters.
Anywho, tell me what you think, and I'll see you on the next part of the "Golden Week Arc"!
