Laurey
Laurey kneaded the pastry dough, focused on her task to the point where she could enjoy it, instead of letting her mind run in a hundred different directions like she used to be able to do. Strange to think there used to be a time when most of her thoughts were good, or at least manageable. But now she had to shut off the thinking part of her mind in order to feel normal, to feel like any wife making a dessert for her beloved husband. She could trick herself like that sometimes, make herself believe she had the life everyone thought she had. The life of a pretty little farm girl who was happy to do chores for her husband, a man who was maybe a little sullen, but basically an all right feller.
It had been a while since she'd baked him a pie, and she was more worried about Aunt Eller's catching on than Jud's getting upset with her. She could have fed him pig slop and he wouldn't have complained, not the way things were now, but Aunt Eller noticed everything.
She'd asked a few searching questions in the last few weeks, but Laurey was always able to brush her off with something about being distracted or having a headache. If she ever asked directly about Jud, Laurey didn't know how she could respond without breaking down and revealing everything. And she couldn't ever tell Aunt Eller what had happened, much as she yearned to unburden herself. Aunt Eller would have Jud arrested, would kill him herself if she had to, and since the only thing keeping Laurey sane was the illusion of normalcy, a husband in jail or killed by her own Aunt was the last thing she needed, good as it would feel in the moment.
She started at the sound of footsteps outside the kitchen door, and didn't relax again when it turned out to be Jud.
"Hi" he mumbled.
She nodded at him, heart still pounding; she knew any words would come out strangled and harsh, and she wanted to focus on her task at hand.
"Gonna make a cherry pie?"
"Apple" she spoke to the pie pan instead of him.
"That's real good, too." He set down the bucket of water he held. "You need anythin' else? I can go to the orchard for you and get some apples if you need."
"No, I have enough. Picked some already this mornin'"
"Right" He walked out, letting the door slam shut behind him.
Laurey waited until he was out of earshot and wept at the thought of the decades that lay before her. Decades of meaningless conversations, of pretending to herself and everyone around her, of staying tensed up when her own husband was in the room. The farm felt small and suffocating, even more than it had when she had her wild ideas of leaving. At least then she'd still been happy, and Jud was just a minor annoyance in her life. But now, the walls constantly threatened to close in on her with every passing day, and she couldn't imagine how they would crush her as the years went on.
