A/N: I did a little research on schizophrenia but if I got it wrong please let me know! I saw Daz Games play a game like this and found it so fascinating that I had to include it. The game is called Threat of Silence.
I am also a big The Last of Us fan so I had to include that too, especially that scene.
Okay enjoy it!
The brunette never bragged about her job. So none of her friends knew how big her name was in the gaming community. They didn't know how many requests she got to play a demo of a game and to let the game developer know what she thought. No one knew how much her opinions meant to most people in the gaming world.
Not even Alison knew how big her job actually was.
Her first job that she got at Naughty Dog was a playthrough. She was one of the many people that had to do a playthrough of their games. One specifically was The Last of Us. Which is how she got the inspiration for the current game her and her team are developing.
This person introduced herself in the email.
Hi,
My name is Rolanda Stovia. I am from Croatia and I have Hebephrenic schizophrenia. Which if you don't know what it means, I tend to hallucinate a lot. It's usually harmless things, I would see a cat that is attached to a snake. It's usually pretty funny.
A couple of years back I lost a dear friend of mine in the most tragic way and so the hallucination became more and more dark and very scary. Luckily for me, I had great doctors and therapists who helped me through it.
I was telling one of my friends about my hallucinations and he casually said ' that would make a terrifying game' and here I am three years later, sending you Emily Fields, what I see through my eyes.
From the bottom of my heart I hope you play through it and give me some pointers or see if it's missing something.
I hope to hear from you soon,
Stovia.
Ps, I know you worked on The Last of Us and I know it was your idea for that Dina and Eli guitar scene. I absolutely loved it.
"Damn this sounds terrifying" Emily said to herself, completely forgetting that Alison was on the couch behind her.
"What?" Alison said, looking up from her laptop.
"Come read this"
Alison got out of the couch and sat in Emily's lap while reading.
"Oh wow…why is he sending you it though?" the blonde asked.
"I get a lot of request from smaller game developers"
"So you're like a big deal?"
"I wouldn't say that, no" Emily said, shrugging.
Alison turned her back slightly and put her arms around Emily and looked at her with so much love, you would be able to feel the love in the air.
"What?"
"Am I not allowed to look at my beautiful girlfriend?"
"You know… I don't think you've actually asked me to be your girlfriend" The brunette said, with a smirk on her face.
"Oh, how dare I" Alison leaned in and lingered over Emily's lips "Will you be my girlfriend?" she rubbed her nose against the brunette's.
"I'll think about it" Emily said, which earned her an arm punch from the blonde.
"Of course I'll be your girlfriend, Alison"
They leaned in at the same time, attaching their lips to each other. Emily could still taste coffee on the blonde. Every time they kissed, held hands or even just watching tv cuddled up on the couch, she could feel her fifteen year old self jumping up and down, because she finally got the girl.
All the years she spent imagining how it would be like being with the blonde, actually being with her, not just "kissing for practice" would not have prepared her for how perfect it would feel.
While being in the bunker, Emily had to build up walls, to protect her sanity. Being with Alison had always made her vulnerable, especially now.
If there were any doubts in her mind, it's all gone now. She was absolutely in love with Alison, back then and now.
She knew the blonde felt the same. Not only by the looks but by all the other little things she does.
The way Alison would speak to her while she's having a night terror, the way after she had woken up, the blonde would get up and go get a fresh pair of pajamas for her or how Alison would send her a reminder to take her medication, even though she already has it set in her phone.
Alison pulled her out of her mind before it drifted even further "What are you thinking?"
"Always you" Emily responded almost immediately.
As much as Alison tried, she couldn't hide the smile forming on her face. Emily always knew how to make her blush. She leaned in and placed a sweet short kiss on the brunette's lips.
"I can't believe how long it took for us to finally get here. I regret not telling you how I really felt…I'm so sorry" Alison said, with a hint of sadness.
That took the brunette by surprise "What are you sorry for?"
"That it took us this long…- that it took me this long to accept how if felt for you, I mean if I accepted it earlier we could have been together since high school and had so much memories"
She hated feeling this vulnerable but with Emily she felt safe saying whatever was on her mind and this is something that's been bothering her "Think of all the dates we could have gone on or how we could have sneaked into the janitors closet and have a hot make out session"
"There's a janitor closet in this building" she said, smirking.
She rolled her eyes at the brunette "Not the point"
"Don't be sorry and I don't regret it. Not one bit"
Alison waited for the brunette to explain further.
"Yes we could have been together since high school, but most high school relationships don't last and this…" she pointed at Alison then herself "...I want this to last…- so yes I don't regret anything" she placed a kiss on the blonde's cheek before continuing
"I would go through all the heartbreaks, all the suffering just to be here with you right now and for the memory part, every time we were in the same room was memorable for me. I have them safely locked up in my brain in a file that's named 'Alison DiLaurentis'"
The blonde was so taken back by all the lovely things Emily was saying that she didn't even notice she had tears rolling down her cheeks until Emily wiped it away with her thumb.
"Was that too much?" the brunette asked.
"Nothing you do is too much" Alison readjusted herself so that she could cup Emily's face in her hands to pull her in for a kiss "I love you Emily" after some more smooches, she put her arms around Emily's neck again.
"In some ways, you saved me while we were locked up"
The blonde didn't answer, she just waited for Emily to continue. She knew how hard it was for Emily to open up about being locked up, so whenever she brought it up, Alison knew to stay silent and just listen.
Emily knew she was gonna lose her mind if she didn't find a way to cope or a way to escape what was happening to her and her friends.
Everything she tried, ended up failing. She tried working out, but couldn't because every time she tried, the loud alarm would go off.
She tried writing but every time she did, the lights would go off and won't come back on hours later.
Nothing worked. She was losing her mind little by little.
There was one day when it was hers and Hanna's turn and like always, Emily volunteered herself but she wasn't in no condition to endure whatever they had planned. She was sweating profusely, her body was on fire, she was shaking and she's been throwing up.
It took a while but Hanna was able to convince Emily to not do it.
"Emily, you're shivering. You won't make it" Hanna said at the brink of tears.
"It's okay, I can take it Hanna. I can handle the pain" Her voice was shaky.
"Emily! No. You will die. I don't wanna have to tell Alison that you died volunteering, even worse I don't wanna have to tell your mom and your dad" That made Emily backed down.
"I can take it, Em" Hanna assured her.
All Emily could do was nod her head.
"Have you reached your decision?" The black hooded person asked.
Hanna nodded, minutes later there was a table set in front of her, with twenty donuts. Hanna knew what was about to happen, as much as she didn't wanna do it, she knew her friend was in worse condition. So she sucked it up and did what she was told.
After eating all twenty donuts, the hood made her throw up. In front of Emily. A couple of hours went by and they did the same thing again and again and again by the end of day Hanna threw up so much that she couldn't walk to her room. So they just left her there in her own vomit.
"Han?" Emily had to hold back her tears.
A couple of seconds went by, no answer.
She tried again "Hanna?"
Nothing.
She yelled this time "Hanna!"
"I'm ok, Em. I'm just so tired" the blonde voice came out as a whisper "How are you?"
"I can't do this anymore Han" Even though Emily was never the type to cry, she couldn't hold it in anymore, seeing her friend on the ground in her own vomit broke her "I can't keep doing this anymore, it's getting to me. I feel like slipping into a dark hole and never come out"
Hanna finally looked up and saw the brunette, her best friend, her sister, in tears so of course she started crying too "Emily, listen to me. You have to make it, you hear me? You fight!" She coughed "If not for yourself, do it for your mom, your dad, you fight for Alison. You hear me?"
Emily nodded.
"We will make it out of here. You will hug your mom and dad again. You will make Alison your girlfriend, you will make her scream your name at the top of her lungs…-" that made Emily smile, Hanna always knew what to say to make her smile and seeing Emily smile made Hanna smile too.
"...- you will take her out on dates, you will make her your wife and you guys will have loads of babies. Just keep thinking about that okay? When things get hard, when you feel yourself slipping you hang on to those things. Hang on to your parents and hang on to Alison" Was the last thing Hanna said before passing out.
A couple of minutes later, they were both back in their room. Emily thought about what Hanna said and that might be the only reason she made it out alive.
Every time she felt herself slipping. She hung onto those things. She imagined Alison's face, her baby blue eyes, her dimples appearing when she's smiling and her laugh. Emily made a promise to herself to always make the blonde laugh. She would imagine the smell of her shampoo.
Sometimes she would get lost in the imagination of being with Alison. She could see the white picket fence, she could see all the plants leading up to the front porch. She could see the blonde sitting on the steps with a mini version of her, she could see the mini version of Alison running towards her and saying 'Mamma Mamma!' She could see the blonde getting up greeting her with a big smile on her face.
She knew having high expectations could only lead to bigger disappointment. She also accepted that even if they don't end up together, she would always be there for the blonde. Because she couldn't fathom not having the blonde in her life.
In some ways, Alison saved her. Again.
Of course Emily didn't mention the part that this person made Hanna threw up because that wasn't her story to tell.
Not only did Alison have tears in her eyes but again, she was also speechless. She knew that Emily loved her but the fact that even when she was going through one of the most horrible experiences in her life, Emily still thought about her.
"So yes. Alison, you saved me…yet again, you helped me keep my sanity" she planted a kiss on the blonde who was still speechless. After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence, the blonde finally spoke up.
"Are you okay? I know it's hard for you to talk about that to me" Alison asked.
"I think I am... It's not that I don't wanna talk about it, I just don't want you to look at me differently…I don't want you to pity me or to think i'm weak" Emily confessed and looked down. She never liked when people pitied her.
Alison tilted Emily's face by the chin so they were facing each other but Emily still didn't wanna make eye contact "Em…look at me" she still didn't "Baby…-" Alison said in the softest voice.
Damn you Alison she thought before giving the blonde eye contact.
She cupped her face with both her hands "Believe me when I say, I will never look at you differently, nor or will I pity you and you are the strongest person I know…I mean look at these biceps" she squeezed Emily's arm which made both of them giggle.
"Shut up" Emily said.
"I love you too" she planted a kiss on the brunette's cheeks.
They stayed there for a couple more minutes. Just enjoying each other's company until a certain black figure appeared, demanding food.
As Alison was preparing dinner for Tito, he started whining and pushing Alison with his snout.
"I know buddy, give me a minute" but he still didn't stop.
She bent over and put the bowl on the ground while Tito was still whining "Tito, buddy you-" she suddenly started feeling dizzy, her vision went blurry, next thing she knew she was on the ground.
Emily heard the loud thud from the kitchen and yelled out "You okay?"
It was silent.
"Ali?"
Nothing.
She got out of her chair, went to the kitchen and found Tito lying beside Alison who was on the ground, rubbing the back of her head which had blood on it.
The brunette quickly grabbed a kitchen towel and was on the ground next to Alison in seconds.
"Ali! Are you okay? What happened?" the brunette said while searching where the blood was coming from. Luckily it was just a scratch. She pressed the towel on the back of her head.
"I uh…- I don't know, I just got dizzy suddenly"
"Can you get up?" Emily asked.
"I think so"
Even so, Emily helped her to the couch. She went back into the kitchen, grabbed the first aid kit and a bottle of water and put on the tea kettle. She was soon back next to Alison and started cleaning the small scratch with some peroxide.
"It's gonna sting" she warned the blonde before putting a little bit on the scratch.
"Has this happened before?" Emily asked.
"Maybe once or twice but I've never actually fallen" she took a sip of water.
Emily reached for the blanket and covered the blonde with it. The tea kettle went off and moments later Emily returned with two cups of tea.
"Should we cancel tonight with my mom?" Emily asked.
Since being back, they kept the tradition of going over Pam's house on Friday night to have dinner. At first Alison didn't wanna feel like she was interrupting them, but after Pam told her that she wasn't and then Emily called her an idiot for even thinking that, they kept going.
They were pretty nervous for tonight. They agreed to tell Pam that they were dating.
Even though Emily knew her mom accepted her for dating girls, she always felt nervous when telling her she was dating someone. Which she didn't do a lot, she's only ever introduced four girls and Pam never held back about how she felt about them. The only one she tolerated was Maya.
None of her relationships could compare to Alison's. Even though they've only been together for two weeks, she knew this was it. Well to be fair Alison was always endgame in Emily's head. So yes, she was very nervous.
"No, I know this is important. Not only for you but for me too" she gave Emily a kiss on the cheek.
They stayed seated for another hour before going over to Pam, who insisted on bringing Tito over.
After buckling the dog in the backseat, they were on their way. Emily's legs kept bouncing up and down, the blonde knew it was one of her signs that she was nervous. She laid her hand on top of Emily's leg, which seemed to lessen her anxiety.
As soon as they arrived, Emily felt something was off. She couldn't quite tell what it was.
They opened the door and announced themselves, there was no answer.
"Mom?" Emily's voice came out almost trembling.
When they got in the kitchen, both Emily and Alison's jaws dropped. There he was.
Wayne Fields.
"Dad?" Her voice came out shaky.
Emily didn't think twice before sprinting towards her dad, she had tears in her eyes. Which says a lot because Emily Fields almost never tears up which ultimately made Pam and Alison tear up as well but what made it worse was that Wayne also had tears in his eyes.
"Hey Emmy" he said, hugging her daughter.
"I missed you so much dad" at this point she didn't care that there were tears going down her face.
"I missed you too baby, let me look at you" he pulled her away by the face, he could see the trauma behind her daughter's eyes. She could fool anyone but her dad, he saw right through her. He could see the pain in her eyes. "Oh baby"
Alison took out her phone and snapped a picture of the two. She wanted so badly to run over and hug him but she knew this was a much bigger deal for Emily then it was her so she tried to quietly leave to let them have their family time.
Wayne spoke up as she was about to leave.
"Where do you think you're going?" He said, leaving one hand on Emily and opening the other inviting Alison to hug him. Which she did without even thinking about it, which made her cry even more.
After all the crying and hugging settled down, they made their way to the living room to have Pam's specialty chicken arroz caldo.
Emily and Alison sat next to each other while Pam and Wayne sat on the opposite of them.
Alison had her hand on Emily's bouncy knees and Emily had her hand on top of hers.
While they were all talking, Emily and Alison were having a private conversation without saying anything out loud, that's one of the benefits of being best friends for over a decade, they don't have to say anything in order to know what the other is thinking.
Alison nodded and Emily nodded back. The blonde tightened her grip on the brunette's hand.
Emily scratched her throat to get her parents attention.
"So we didn't expect for you to be here dad but I'm glad you are because I don't think I could do this twice…" she squeezed Alison's hand harder.
"What is it baby?" Wayne asked.
"You guys might be seeing Alison a lot more around"
"We don't have a problem with that, Emmy. We love Alison" Pam said with Wayne nodding along, she looked over at the blonde who's cheeks were heating up.
Damn these Fields for making me blush. Alison thought.
"No I mean as in we're togeth…-"
Pam interrupted her by putting her hand up "Let me stop you right there…-" That made Emily tense up "We know. We're just surprised it took this long" she turned and look at her husband "You owe me 25 bucks"
"I expected this from our friends …but you two?" Emily said, laughing "Was it that obvious?"
Pam quickly replied "With all the staring and not to mention the smile on your faces whenever the other one walks in the room…we knew since you came out to us Emmy"
"I do have one question" Wayne said, while looking at both girls "When are we getting grand babies?"
"Dad!" she said almost embarrassingly.
"What? I'm not getting any younger"
"Wayne, leave them alone" Pam warned him "...- besides, they have to get married first"
"Oh my god" It was now Emily's turn to blush.
They were both visibly more relaxed after that. Alison complimented Pam on her cooking. She even made a point of saying that if it was up to her she would live with the older woman just for her cooking. To which Wayne said 'you say that now, wait until you put the dishes in the wrong spot' which made Pam slap him on his hands.
The interaction between them made Emily so happy. The two most important women in her life getting along. Her father wasn't a man of many words but the smile on his face gave her all the assurances she needed.
After they finished dinner they tried to help Pam with the cleaning but she told them to get out of her kitchen.
Alison excused herself to the bathroom while Emily and Wayne went outside.
They sat down on the wooden chair on the front porch. Wayne had a glass of whiskey while Emily opted for water.
Emily always enjoyed these quiet moments with her dad. It was something they did a lot when she was a child.
The earliest memory Emily had of her and Wayne on the porch was when she was six.
Emily had her bottle of milk while Wayne was sipping on his whiskey. They had to just broke the news that Wayne had to go back overseas and after almost forty minutes of consoling little Emily, they were outside.
"Dad?" Emily's voice was still sore from all the crying.
"Yea, baby?"
"Will you be disappointed if I don't join the military when I grow up?"
The question caught Wayne off guard. He looked down at those beautiful brown eyes looking back at him.
She motioned for her to come sit in his lap. After she settled in his lap, he spoke up.
"Nothing you do will disappoint me baby but to answer your question… I will not. I actually will be very happy if you didn't"
"Why?"
"Because, I don't want you to put your life in danger"
"Then why do you do it?"
How was Wayne supposed to explain that to a six year old? How was he supposed to explain that he was following in his father's footsteps? How was he supposed to explain any of it?
So he answered in a way that a six year old would understand and completely ignored the part as to why he put his life in danger.
"Well you know how sometimes you and Ma go buy clothes and school supplies?"
Emily nodded.
"Well in order for you and Ma to do that, I have to work and because both your Ma and I agreed that she would stay home and I would work"
"Why do you have to work so far?"
"Because baby, people there need me more than here"
"But Mom and I need you here" Emily once more had tears in her eyes.
"I know… but hey" he wiped the tears away "we will always be under the same moon and sun"
Emily looked up at her dad confused.
"When you look up at the moon and the sun, just know that your old man will also be looking at the same moon and the same sun"
"You're not an old man, daddy" The brunette said giggling
"Go tell your mother that"
So Emily did. She marched upstairs and told Pam that her daddy wasn't an old man. Which made both of them laugh because Emily had said it in such a serious tone.
That was one of many conversations she had with her dad on their front porch
"I'm glad you're back dad" She always felt like a kid around her dad.
"I'm glad I am too" he took a sip of his whiskey and continued "So Alison?"
Emily nodded.
"I can see how happy you are around her"
The brunette felt her cheeks getting red. Just thinking about Alison made her blush and the fact that her dad could see how happy she is meant a lot.
"I am"
Which was all Wayne needed to hear. They sat for another fifteen minutes before Emily went inside to check on the blonde.
"Ali?"
Pam answered "bathroom" she pointed upstairs.
She nodded and walked upstairs. She saw lights coming out of her old room and went looking for the blonde, the door to the bathroom was ajar.
"Alison?"
She heard hurling sounds coming out of her bathroom and found Alison on the floor hugging the toilet. She could see the blonde was shaking so she grabbed a blanket on her bed and put it over her.
"Hey" Alison said with a hoarse voice.
"Hi" she got on the ground and caressed her on her back.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked.
Alison was about to answer but felt another hurl coming and put her face over the toilet again. A couple of minutes went by and the blonde could feel her stomach calming down.
She was in between Emily's legs so she leaned back into her and Emily wrapped her arms around her.
"I hate that you're seeing me like this"
"What? Puking your guts out?" Emily asked.
Alison nodded.
"You do remember that party at Hanna where I was holding your hair back after one too many tequila shots?" Emily laughed at the memory.
Alison answered laughing "Oh god, don't remind me"
"You know, if i knew any better I would say you're pregnant" Emily said jokingly.
"What?"
"Well, this is the third time you've thrown up and this morning with the dizziness" she said, chuckling.
Alison was silent.
"Shit" Alison whispered.
A/N: What do you mean 'shit' Alison! Who also loved the fact that Wayne is back? I absolutely loved Wayne and he is one of the few good men in Rosewood. He must be protected at all costs.
Let me know what you guys think about this one, I absolutely love reading the feedback! And as always if you wanna follow me on twitter it's fan_of_tv_shows but not pressure!
