A/N: Hey! The most recent chapter was posted two days ago, so I'm really happy to have this one up so soon. I just want to say that the next one, which is already partially drafted, will be a major one. I'm excited to post it, but I'm pretty sure some of y'all will hate me.

One more quick note: I do plan on going back and revising some chapters that I haven't been too pleased with, so if you ever see any difference in minor details or dialogue, that's why… no major changes though.

Anyway, thank you for all the support! Much love to you all!

It had been two weeks since JJ opened up to Maggie about her guilt and fears, two weeks since Street had his first appointment with Wendy, and two weeks since the hug between the couple that gave false promises of things finally looking up.

In that time Maggie had gone back to New York, Street had a few more therapy sessions, JJ had her first session as well as her check up with the doctor… and the couple had resorted back to their methods of closing themselves off while pretending that the wedge between them wasn't growing bigger and bigger each day.

Today was JJ's first day back at work, strictly desk duty of course. Her doctor had cleared her for that much stating that her injuries had progressed nicely, but he was a bit concerned about her weight loss due to the lack of eating. As long as she promised to do better with that and her weight improved over the next few weeks, he would consider clearing her for full duty.

That was fine with JJ. She was lacking the energy or willpower to go into the field right now anyway, but she was glad to get back into a routine of sorts.

Her appointment with the bureau therapist, mandated by the brass, was very uneventful. JJ knew exactly what to say to appease the doctor and get the desired report written up for Hotch. Yes, she knew she still needed to open up about certain things but as far as she was concerned, the phone calls to and from Maggie would suffice.

While JJ was happy to be back at work, she couldn't exactly say the same about all the sympathetic glances and the feeling of being monitored every time she stepped out of her office. The team had welcomed her back with open arms and while she was grateful for their care and concern, all she wanted was a semblance of things being normal at work.

Right now she was holed up in her office with a mountain of case files to sort through.

A knock on the door, distinctive enough to belong only to a certain technical analyst, suddenly pulled JJ from her thoughts.

She sighed before calling out, "Come in."

The door opened and just as she suspected, it was the colorfully dressed Garcia stepping inside. "Hi, peaches."

"Hey, Penelope. What can I do for you?"

"Oh, um, actually I was wondering if there was anything I could do for you?"

"Did you digitalize the files from the old Henson investigation?"

Garcia nodded.

"Okay, then make sure the team's new health assessment forms are filed."

"Oh… okay." That obviously wasn't what she meant upon her arrival. "Are you okay? Do you need to talk about anything?"

Talking was exactly what JJ wanted to avoid. "Penelope, I'm fine. I just have a lot of work to do."

"If you're sure, Sugarplum." She hesitated, as if she was going to say something else… or more likely waiting to see if JJ would say anything else. Once that wasn't the case, she quickly turned and left.

JJ felt a bit guilty due to her abruptness, but she really wasn't in the mood for small talk. She loved Garcia and the team immensely, but it was going to take some time before she was able to interact with them like she used to… she needed to feel more like herself before that could happen.

For Street, it had been a shitty day. He still hadn't been cleared for the field, even after two more sessions with Wendy, and to make matters worse, the case they caught today had been grueling.

20-Squad seemed to hit a snag at every turn and they hadn't been brought in early enough to save their shooter's last target.

By the time the arrest was made, Street was tired, defeated and all together pissed off. Some might would say he had been testy all day, arguing with everyone at the smallest thing but the truth was that he sick of being stuck on the sidelines.

He had just gotten home, and the only noise that could be heard in the small apartment was the hum of the refridgerator. JJ wasn't there yet and probably wouldn't be for another half hour.

He tossed his backpack by the door and went straight for a beer. Popping the cap, he savored the taste of the cold Bud Light against his tongue. He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering how the rest of the night would play out.

Two weeks ago he had convinced himself that maybe he and JJ were reaching a turning point… well, correction, JJ had convinced him when she was waiting by the door for him to come home after his first shift back at work.

He had been surprised to see her there smiling and they hugged for the first time in what felt like months… actually it probably was. They even sat on the couch together for a while having an open and honest conversation.

Some people probably would have said 'what's the big deal' but to Street, that was a major accomplishment given the circumstances. It wasn't too in depth, and Street knew JJ was holding back on a lot, as was he… but it was still more than they had been managing.

The only problem… that didn't last. Sure, Street had moved off of the couch and back into the bedroom, and the couple managed to make small talk and incorporate each other into their new routines… but they weren't really talking. They had fallen back into the same pattern as before, minus the part of icing each other out.

They still avoided the major topics of discussion, more specifically their thoughts and feelings, and it was as if they were more roommates than a couple that had been discussing wedding dates months before.

Street lost himself in thought for a while before shaking his head and downing the rest of his beer, probably a lot quicker than he should have, then decided to take a quick shower.

He made his way to the bedroom and started rifling through the dresser for a new t-shirt to slip on. He had just decided on one when the color of teal caught his eye. Pulling out the new object of his attention, his breath caught in his throat as he realized what it was.

It was the baby onesie that JJ had wrapped up when she revealed to him her pregnancy. T-shirt long forgotten, he carefully held the small object… and all he could think about was holding his child in his arms instead.

The emotion evoked from his mind's eye was powerful enough to nearly bring Street to his knees as he longed for something he could no longer have. He grasped the edge of the dresser in order to hold himself upright, now clenching the item in his other hand.

It was still in his hand thirty minutes later when JJ walked through the front door. He was sitting on the couch, the few tears he had shed long since dried up.

"Hey."

Street didn't even look up as he heard her deposit her purse and keys on the table by the door. "Hey."

Nothing else was said for a few moments as JJ went straight for the bedroom to change clothes.

Street eventually sighed and stood up from the couch, leaving the onesie laying on the coffee table. He waited in the kitchen for her to come back in, wanting to at least try to make an effort with her this evening.

She emerged a few minutes later in a tank top and pair of sweatpants, hair thrown up in a messy bun. She was looking some better over the past couple of weeks, not quite back to herself but the bruises had long since faded and she had regained a bit of her color.

She was still bone-thin though, and her eyes hadn't lit up in quite a while. Street missed the spark that she always seemed to have in them… well, he missed a lot… he missed her.

She smiled at him, though he could tell it was just for show.

"How was your first day back?"

She shrugged her shoulders and moved over to the sink to put away the few dishes that had been drying. "It was fine."

Street waited a minute to see if she would say more. She didn't. "I'm sure the team was happy to see you."

"Yeah, I guess. How was your day?"

"It sucked. I'm still benched." He grabbed a couple of plates and placed them in the overhead cabinet.

"I'm sorry. How are your sessions with Wendy?"

"Obviously I'm not meeting her standards, otherwise she would've signed off."

JJ was quiet until all of the silverware was put away, then she finally spoke up again. "Maybe she doesn't think you're opening up enough."

Street raised an eyebrow. "Seems to be a common theme around here."

JJ ignored that little quip and continued. "Well, do you?"

"Do I open up to her? Yeah, of course. Otherwise, what's the point?"

"I don't know, I guess given how you are around me, I'm just surprised. It would be nice to know what's going through your head ever now and then."

Was she serious? After how closed off she had been, she wants to know about him? "I guess I'm just focused on getting that clearance. I think the best thing for me right now is to be out in the field with my team. I'm sure you feel the same way about yours."

She nodded slowly. "The team… speaking of which, why did you tell them about the baby?"

Street was a bit caught off guard by the question. "Uh, there was a lot going on when you were in the hospital. I don't even remember how it happened, but it didn't feel right lying to them anyway."

"You didn't have to lie, but you didn't have to tell them either."

"What's the difference? They're your team, Jay, they were worried."

JJ threw the dish towel on the counter and Street could tell she was getting agitated. "Yeah, well I don't need to feel like I'm under a microscope every time I walk into the BAU. I take it that your team knows too?" She raised her hands up beside of her like she was really pissed about the whole thing.

"Yeah, they do and I don't see the big deal. Isn't it better that they all know the truth? What, did you expect us to keep it a secret forever? They were going to catch on eventually that something else was going on." He didn't understand why she was so mad. At the time he had figured the least of their concern was whether or not the teams knew, but given the close nature of all of them, it felt wrong not to tell them. "Are you mad that I didn't ask you about it first?"

"Forget it." She grabbed the final pot that was resting on the dish mat, and reached up to store it above the stove but the action made her wince and immediately lower her arm.

Street, assuming it was from the wounds to her side, quickly stepped over with a hand on her back to steady her. He tried to take the pot from her grasp but she held up her other hand to stop him.

"Street, I've got it." Her words came out tense and through clenched teeth.

"Just trying to help."

"I'm fine, just let me handle it."

Street huffed out a sigh and stepped away, fully intent on leaving the kitchen all together but there was more he wanted to say. "You know, it's okay to ask for help ever once in a while."

"Who said I need help? And anyway, what about you? It's not like you've exactly been in a hurry to ask for it. I don't ever even know what's going on with you… what you're thinking, what you're feeling!"

Street couldn't take it anymore. He felt like he was about to explode due to the pent up frustration he had been too ashamed to express for so long.

It looked like it was all coming to a head tonight. Maybe they needed this, maybe they didn't. Either way, it was going down now.

"I don't know what you expect me to do!" He finally snapped, everything he had felt since the hospital reaching a boiling point. "Anytime I try to help you with something, it pisses you off. Then I try to give you space and that seems to piss you off too because you say you want to know what's going on in my head. Where was that for the past two months?! Until Maggie got here you didn't seem to give a damn how I was feeling, but now you suddenly want to know? What changed? And why in the hell would I want to tell you anyway when you don't give me a single fucking clue as to what's going on with you? How do you expect me to open up when you don't talk to me?" He threw his hands up in the air. "What do you want from me, Jennifer?!"

"I want you to admit it! I want you to finally be honest with me and with yourself for long enough to admit that you blame me for what happened. I'm sick and tired of you trying to pretend that everything is okay between us!" She stayed rooted to the spot while Street had taken up pacing in front of the table.

He hadn't meant to yell at her before but her words came back just as forceful and desperate. That wasn't the answer he had been expecting, and he damn sure knew things weren't okay… but she was right about one thing. It was time to be honest. "Fine, you want the truth? I do blame you. I don't understand how you could have made the decision to go on that raid when you knew what Peter Lewis was capable of."

He stopped his pacing in order to stand directly in front of JJ. "Or maybe I do understand. You just couldn't stand the thoughts of your team making that big arrest without you. Is that what it was, huh? Your pride?" He paused, looking her right in the eyes with his steely gaze. "You should've never gotten in that SUV."

JJ held her ground so they were only about two feet apart from each other. "You think I don't know that… that the guilt doesn't tear me apart every single day, the knowledge that I caused the death of my baby?!"

"Our baby, JJ… ours! You're not the only one effected in all of this… and anyway, you wanted me to be honest with you. I'm giving you what you wanted and what? Now you're pissed at my answer? Sorry, Jay, but that's what's in my head right now!" He turned around, running a hand through his hair as the weight of his words hung heavy in the air. He knew he would probably regret them later but she had asked for it.

He needed to get out of there. His hands were shaking in rage and all he could think about was creating some distance between himself and JJ before they got any deeper into this fight. He wouldn't ever lay a hand to her in that regard, but he was afraid of what else he might say to her.

Clenching his fists by his sides, he started towards the door. "I'm going out for a bit."

"Street…"

"JJ, just trust me, it's better for both of us if I go right now." He didn't even look at her, just grabbed his keys and walked out the front door, slamming it behind him.