There were several lines that RJ would absolutely refuse to cross, and one of those lines that were being crossed right now, was stealing from teachers.
RJ may've not liked humans all that much, but there were indeed times he had just enough in him to take a bit of mercy on them. Of course there was the time when their shenanigans resulted in the gang being forced to help deliver a baby, and it all ended with the animals cold, tired, and pretty mad. Verne was particularly miffed, as the raccoon remembered the chewing out he received for putting the animals through this in order to have a bit of a break, on top of telling Hammy what lesbians were.
Hey, at least he didn't tell Hammy anything more, was RJ's thought that day.
Speaking of Verne, the two of them were right now in a tree, surveying the home of Tiger's old groomer, Ms. Kaplan. RJ felt bad, as Tiger did inform them that she also worked as a substitute teacher, and if there was anything that RJ believed in, it was that teachers did not get enough of a salary to justify working. Sure they would probably say they worked for the passion, but RJ heisted to survive. Passion wasn't going to put food on the table that would eventually end up in the Hedgie's bellies.
This heist had to be done however, even though RJ didn't like it. Verne, ever the observant one, took quick notice of this.
"Hey, RJ, remind me why we're going after her?' He asked. RJ bit back the urge to reply with his classic "amphibian routine" that he knew always got under Verne's nerves.
"The usual targets got some new security system that I haven't really been able to figure out yet." RJ replied. "I'm playing it safe tonight."
"Safe, didn't think you had it in you." Verne said.
"Safe, Scmafe, all that matters is that we get the food and everyone gets out without anything going wrong." Was RJ's retort. Yes, RJ had been told hundreds of times (primarily by Verne), that his plans, while grand, often resulted in a lot of risk. Verne was probably just thinking of those other plans, like when he used fireworks as a distraction that caused the homeowner's car to catch on fire, or when he did his Evil Knieval wagon stunts, or when Hammy allowed the others to escape by drinking caffeine and somehow managing to put the Homeowner outside, along with one of the house's support beams.
In all fairness, the window was open, he stopped doing the Evil Knieval stunts after they lost their old wagon, and he had nothing to do with Hammy and the support beam. Hammy was just his own man…or squirrel.
"You really like to tempt fate, do you?" Verne spoke.
"Hey, it helps when you don't draw attention to it." RJ replied. "Do you see me drawing attention to the fact my plans are, in your words 'too dangerous' and 'outlandish', and my personal favorite 'something only a fanfiction writer would come up with'?"
"No, you don't, but-"
"See, there you go, they work because I don't tempt fate, I don't do it, no one gets hurt."
"Hey, at least I haven't gotten people injured." Verne replied. RJ just shot him a small grin.
"You really like to tempt fate, do you?"
"Touche." Was Verne's bitter response. The two were silent for a moment, clearly thinking about the whole "tempting fate" conversation they just had that probably ranked number fifty-two in the most inane and dumb talks they've had. That was until Verne broke the silence.
"How're you and Luby?" Verne asked.
"We're still going strong, I've been planning on bringing her over here, seeing if we can watch a movie after the whole film festival idea didn't work out." RJ replied. "Why?"
"Well, I've been thinking about the idea of opening up the family more." Verne spoke.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean just combine the families, get more in on the heisting." Verne replied. "Think about it, Luby's family and us, maybe get some more, big happy community."
"That'd take a lot more trips in order to keep everyone fed." RJ replied. "I mean, I did the math."
"You do math?" Verne said.
"On occasion, it's awful." RJ replied. "Anyways, we only last a month with the amount of food we got, imagine bringing in more in, we'd have to up the heisting so much more."
"RJ-"
"And let's not forget we have to find out what they can and can't eat." RJ continued, despite Verne trying to catch his attention. "Could you imagine if one of them got sick? Wouldn't look good for us."
"Alright, I get it." Verne said, resigned to the reality of the situation. It was honorable in a way, wanting to get more of the critters in on the heisting, and of course RJ wouldn't pass up a chance to pass on his teachings. It was just unfortunate that they couldn't do it, just as unfortunate as their conversation being interrupted by a pretty impatient skunk.
"Hey, you two dun' talkin', I'm hungry!" Stella spoke.
"Don't worry Stella, we're done talking." RJ replied. "Coming down now."
After managing to help Verne down the tree, RJ would take his spot at the edge of the hedge. Based on his calculations, this was right outside the backyard to Ms. Kaplan's home, which made it perfect for getting in and out without anyone failing to remember the plan.
Of course, it always helped to go over it.
"Alright, here's the plan." RJ spoke. "Tiger, Lou, and Penny, you'll be the muscle as always, so that means leftovers, heavy stuff, that sort of wazoo."
"Ew." Heather spoke up.
"Different type of wazoo."
"Not helping." Stella spoke up, and RJ could swear he heard a small laugh emit from Heather at this.
"That sort of stuff." RJ finished before any more humor could be found out his small mishap, although deep down he found it pretty funny. "Anyways, Heather and Ozzie, fridge duty this time, I know you can do it, Hammy on stacking, kids and I will keep watch out, and Verne and Stella will handle the pantry and the cabinets, any questions?"
"Uh yeah, are you sure the kids being on watch is a good idea?" Verne spoke up, before quickly muttering an apology to the triplets.
"I don't see why not." RJ replied.
"Do you remember when Spike turned on the TV and nearly skewered us with quills?"
"Actually, it was Bucky that did that." Spike spoke up.
"Nuh uh!" Bucky quickly replied.
"Uh huh!"
"Nuh uh!"
"Uh huh!"
"Kids, kids! Focus!" RJ bellowed, stopping the argument between the two of them, before turning his attention to Verne. "Hey, the kids at the very least turned off the TV before any damage could be done."
"But-"
"Night-time's burning everyone, let's go!"
RJ was immediately starting to regret watch duty.
It wasn't because of the fact he was stuck with the triplets by any means, not at all. He cared for those kids as much as he cared for the rest of the family. Was he as close with them as he was, say, Verne or Heather? No, not at all, but he cared for them all the same.
No, he was regretting watch duty because it was insanely boring.
RJ was never really the type to just sit around and do nothing, contrary to the opinion of Verne. Yes, he remembered how Verne got on him for slacking off on heisting responsibilities, but that was just burn-out. Humans got it too. RJ liked being proactive in heisting, especially when it came to leadership. Granted the Hedgies had been doing this for so long that RJ's direction seemed almost redundant, but still, RJ liked his role.
He couldn't really do much when it came to just keeping watch, save for taking note of what the kids were doing while the four of them were stuck inside the vent. Bucky and Spike were just kind of doing their own thing, which RJ would get on them for if not for the fact that Quillo had been staring very intently at the sleeping Ms. Kaplan.
Actually, RJ had noticed that Quillo had been stepping up a bit more recently. Of course, Quillo took charge of keeping watch when the others were out doing their filming for the festival, which already was a start, but RJ had noticed that while Bucky and Spike preferred to roughhouse a bit whenever they could, Quillo on the other hand had kept whatever assignment she was given seriously.
"Hey, Quillo, you're taking this seriously." RJ spoke.
"When you tell me to keep watch, I do my best." Quillo replied with a bright smile Clearly, she appreciated her hard work being noticed, since RJ couldn't blame. He was thankful for it as well, as he could now take a peek on how the heist was going.
Sure enough, even without his leadership, the heist was going smoothly. Heather and Ozzie were in the midst of getting the mini-yogurts out of the fridge, Tiger, Lou, and Penny were moving the heavier stuff to the wagon, Hammy was organizing everything, and Verne and Stella had finished up with the pantry and were now moving onto the cabinets. Looked like this was about to be another smooth heist.
As he said that however, he took another look at Stella and Verne. Opening one of the cabinet doors, Stella proceeded to lift Verne up to the lowest layer of said cabinet. Once he was secure in there, Stella climbed to the one on top. This usually wouldn't be an interesting sight to him, but RJ was not only bored, but he was also just intrigued by the fact there were two doors on one cabinet.
Those two combinations were going to result in RJ just talking.
"Quillo, answer me this because Heather's not here, why do the humans have two separate doors for that one cabinet?" RJ asked. Quillo, understandably caught off guard by this question, looked away from Ms. Kaplan to think for a moment.
"Convenience?" She asked.
"Wrong, Bucky, Spike, any guesses?" RJ asked. Bucky and Spike, who had been paying attention to this conversation as much as Gladys Sharp paid attention to humane animal disposal, had no idea how to respond.
"It's because of design." RJ said. "You see, humans love to make things harder for themselves because they value aesthetics over everything else!" To illustrate his point, RJ gestured to the cabinet that Stella and Verne were in.
"They're connected, so what's the point of having two doors?"
Quillo could only shrug in response, and the other two went back to being their unfocused selves. Shame really that Quillo was the only one paying attention, since she was showing potential here. Maybe if Bucky and Spike would take over for a bit, maybe they could warn the group that the human was awake-
The human was awake.
RJ felt his heart jump into his throat as he watched Ms. Kaplan slowly make her way out of her bedroom and down the stairs. He wasn't sure what exactly caused her to wake up. Maybe it was just one of those moments humans have where they just wake up in the middle of the night with no explanation. Of course, that would usually result in that human suddenly getting the munchies.
Whatever it was, it didn't matter, RJ had to warn the others.
"Kids, hide, I'll go warn the others!" RJ spoke. As the kids huddled up together, RJ made his way back to the kitchen just in time to see the others get into hiding. They obviously must've heard the footsteps of Ms. Kaplan shuffle towards them. RJ let out a sigh of relief, but that relief was quickly dashed as he looked back towards the cabinet that Stella and Verne were at.
Verne was desperately reaching out to the lower door, trying to close it to conceal himself better. He could've just hidden behind the boxes, RJ thought, they were big enough to hide him. Of course, Verne was panicking, trying to close that cabinet door, forcing Stella to pop out to inch it closer to him.
RJ could only watch in horror as Verne closed the cabinet door a little too hard, causing Stella to lose her balance and tumble out of the cabinet. Not helping was her getting hit by the handle on the way down, and even worse was that RJ couldn't tell how badly she got hurt from that. He wanted to hop down, see if he could quickly hide her somewhere, but Ms. Kaplan entered the kitchen right as he was about to do so.
Ms. Kaplan turned on the lights, and upon seeing Stella, she let out some kind of startled gasp. The raccoon knew it was a risky move to peek his head out, but he had to know that Stella was okay.
Taking a moment to look at her, he winced as Stella feebly tried to hobble away, but from the way she was moving, it was clear she wasn't going to go far. She looked like she was in a lot of pain, and it didn't take long for her to stop and just collapse to the ground in pain.
RJ couldn't watch, he turned his head away, presuming that Ms. Kaplan was about to finish off the skunk. How was he going to explain this to Tiger? He was going to be heartbroken at this.
"Come on, let's see if the vet is still open." Ms. Kaplan spoke, gently picking Stella up. RJ watched as the skunk squirmed a bit, before resigning herself to the situation she was in. Ms. Kaplan then proceeded to walk out of the kitchen, followed by the sound of jingling keys, the door opening and closing, and the sound of a car driving off.
Stella just got taken to the vet.
"So that's why there's two doors for the cabinet." Bucky spoke.
"Not the time!"
So, what do we say about tempting fate? Yeah, don't.
We're back again, and this time the heist has gone so wrong that Stella has been captured. Big F in the chat. Will they get Stella back? I don't know, don't really rely on them too much.
Anyways bye!
