Note: This is cross-posted on ao3 and will be divided into 5 parts. Updates will be slow hehe.
Going back to Arizona would mean I would leave the idea of him returning. Though four months had gone, there was hope that maybe he'd changed his mind. I grew resentful at the thought of Edward leaving because he was too cowardly to actually not expect what our relationship would be like beforehand. It's not exactly rocket science to figure out that the two of us weren't the most normal couple. Did he expect we'd be in a field of sunflowers while I lay cushioned in his arms all the time?
I offered my soul to him; my love which he refused. Was this what love meant to him? Abandonment in exchange for my safety — from a danger that shouldn't have existed if he weren't so fucking stubborn? I wasn't religious but I wouldn't be Damned. Carlisle ... I believed Carlisle for what he said. He was alone for almost two-hundred years and his control and faith never wavered. Then, he was rewarded with a wife and children. A coven of his own.
I went through the thick haze that blurred my days. Almost and often never noticing the small things that surrounded me. I occupied myself with the thought of going out to watch a movie with Jess tonight. I barely even registered the voice of Charlie saying goodbye as he left the house.
My chest ... felt like there's a pit. Unashamedly, if I saw Edward now, I knew I would run into his arms and tell him that I miss him. I wouldn't find it in me to be angry.
I walked down the stairs to retrieve my shoes. It wouldn't be for another hour until Jess came to pick me up. Maybe I could prepare a warm dinner for Charlie for the first time in four months and he'd stop giving me weird looks. I turned quickly and yelped, crashing into the one of the vases.
The vase shattered into the floor with a loud noise. I flinched violently though my eyes remained on the very human figure standing in the middle of our living room.
"Carlisle." I whispered in disbelief.
He stood there with something — my eyes squinted — someone small in his arms. Blood rushed to my ears and the ringing deafened me. The small thing in his arms began to fuss.
"Bella," he sounded almost pained.
I looked at him in shock, feeling my throat tighten at the sight of him for the first time in months. Unbidden tears welled into my eyes, letting the fat dollops run down my cheeks. He reached for me while the other hand remained cradling the infant.
It didn't register me as to why Carlisle was in my living room and carrying a baby. My face contorted in anguish and I rushed to him, burying my face into his chest. I felt him lean into me as I cried silently, making a mess on his pristine white shirt.
"Why are you here Carlisle?" I asked once I calmed down and my nose was clogged and red. "And ... whose child is that?"
"Mine." He said with no hesitance that I felt my jaw unhinge.
"Carlisle," I responded in horror. "You turned a baby."
"No!" He snapped, equally horrified. "God, no! I would never. I-" He looked at me imploringly and I reasoned to myself that of course, Carlisle, kind, gentle Carlisle would never do such a thing. "He is mine. Biologically." He said firmly.
I looked up at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes. I asked softly, "yours and Esme?"
He shook his head. I gaped at him, the haze swarming in my head. My gaze locked onto the child, drinking in the pinkness of his cheeks, his steady breathing, and the warmth of his brown eyes. The baby ... was somehow human, I realized with a start.
As though reading my mind, Carlisle spoke. "He is half-mortal."
My eyes lifted from the child to him. "Why are you here?"
Carlisle's expression faltered. "My son's existence is in grave danger." He whispered gravely. "He can not be with my kind. In our time, the Volturi has accused my mate of creating an immortal child. We will likely go to war but I cannot endanger my son."
I stood there, unmoving and shocked as Carlisle delivered the news. My mind spun and blanched as the words sunk in. I didn't entirely understand. No, wrong. I didn't understand a thing. I knew of the Volturi. Edward had told me of this very old, powerful family of vampires in Italy who acted as peacekeepers. But ... all this in such a short amount of time?
My mate? I have never heard Carlisle refer to his wife Esme as his mate. And war? What the fuck was going on? A son by Carlisle? They left only just four months ago. I didn't have to do math to figure it out.
Carlisle had ... had cheated on Esme. While they were here in Forks. The mother lived in Forks.
"In your time?" I asked once I had processed his words.
"Five years in the future." He smiled tightly, giving me a barely-there nod. "We gathered vampires all over Europe and America to help us convince the Volturi that my son was naturally conceived. Not created. One of them has the gift of time. My mate was the one to suggest that I take him here."
I forced myself to continue breathing. "Carlisle," I began gently, feeling very confused. "You lost me. I'm sorry. I'm not really — this isn't really sinking in properly. Let me get the facts straight first. You may sit while I think."
Carlisle shuffled on his feet, obliging to my request. He fixed his hold on the infant as he took a seat, whispering assurances to the child. It took me a moment to realize I was staring. Carlisle looked ... very paternal. More paternal than he'd ever looked with his "children". I ignored the squeeze in my chest and breathed in.
"So here's what I got. You have a son. He's half-mortal. You're here because there's a war against the Volturi and the crime is his existence. The mother of your son is not Esme and you're from the future." I bit my lip as I finished. "Did I get all those right?"
Carlisle nodded. "Yes."
I wrung my hands, still feeling lost. "Why are you here?" I took a seat beside him. "Hold up. Wait — you're not — I am not — don't be absurd, Carlisle. I can barely take care of myself." My voice became shrill and high-pitched. "Your family left me. I have been a damned wreck since your son left me. You can't expect me to..." I could feel my eyes stinging again.
"I have no other choice. If I ..." He looked away. "I am really sorry to burden you with this but I fear with the Volturi's threat, there's a chance I won't be able to return."
My breath hitched. I took Carlisle's hand, ignoring his coldness and held it tight. This felt like a dream. But my eyes were wide open and the beat of my heart did not lie. Carlisle was here with a son that he claimed as his own. And ... and he might not return. The thought gripped my heart.
"Who's his mother, Carlisle?" I asked softly, gazing from father to son.
"My mate," he replied, beaming. I frowned as that didn't really answer my question. "She was a human when we conceived our son."
"Human?" I couldn't help but gasp. "You -- you could have a physical relationship with a human?" The thought startled me. And anger bloomed in my chest. Edward never allowed me to even touch him beyond chaste kisses, always lecturing about hurting me and him losing control.
And now, somehow Carlisle had sex with a human and even impregnated her?
"It's uncommon yes but not unheard of." Carlisle replied.
"What about Esme?" I asked, now desperately seeking for more answers.
"We have separated. Esme and I are best of friends still. We did not part in bitter terms." I looked into Carlisle's eyes with a dumbfounded look. "She's found a mate in the Denali coven."
"Okay." I found myself saying breathlessly. Esme and Carlisle have always been the perfect couple. They were happy and in love. There was no passion but their bond made it work. And ... yet that wasn't enough.
I felt even more sadder at the thought.
"Bella, meet my son, Theo." He introduced me to the child. He looked very much like the picture of a proud father showing off his child. It was an endearing sight, actually.
"Theo?" I felt my lips curl into a smile. "A lovely name. Nice to meet you."
"I know." He whispered fondly. "My mate was terrible at naming him. She called him EJ until she saw him and declared he looked like a Theodore." I was amazed at his fond laughter. I had never seen Carlisle look so ... his age.
I was silent for a few moments.
"I can see how this is important to you." I took a deep breathe. "You've come in a really bad time, Carlisle but you were the first one to acknowledge me as part of your family. I do not know entirely what's going on and I am aware the time might be tight for you. However, I promise to take care of your son." I clenched his cold, stone hand in my own. I had little idea how to take care of a fucking baby. What the fuck was I agreeing to? "I ask you one thing."
"Anything." He whispered.
"Come back safely and take him home."
He stared at me in awe. He choked out, "I can do that." He stood up and carefully handed the child to me, placing my hands in the right places to cradle. I sensed the urgency and resolved in his face. The infant looked at me with a curious look. There was intelligence in his chocolate brown eyes. Brown eyes that struck me as familiar.
Carlisle bent down to press a kiss on his son's forehead. His eyes met mine.
Carlisle was leaving.
"I have much to tell you about the future, Bella." He said softly. "I know you have many questions."
I nodded. "I do." I smiled weakly. "This is real, isn't it?"
"Very real." He smiled and picked up the bag on the table that I hadn't noticed until now. "This is all his belongings. Theo will want for nothing in his stay."
Realization slowly sunk in and I looked at Carlisle like a deer in headlights.
"Let me clean the shards first."
I could barely give him a nod.
"Do you really feel comfortable leaving your precious son to a walking disaster like me, Carlisle?" I asked. I watched him fetch a broom and gather the broken shards of the vase I broke to the dustpan. I held the child close to my breast. Movie night with Jess now seemed far away. I didn't want to go anymore. "What do you mean when you said your mate was the one to suggest that you go here? Do I know her?"
"No." He said as he got rid of the broken vase. He was gazing at me softly as I held his son. And I felt my cheeks flame. "But she knows you. Maybe more so than you know yourself."
I blinked in bemusement. "She knows me but I don't know her."
He didn't say anything and stepped forward until he was standing so closely before me. "Please don't be sad anymore. All will be well."
"You can't know that."
Carlisle's lips quirked. "I know for a fact, it would."
"Can you tell me about Edward?" I whispered. "Please, just one detail. I can't..."
"He's doing fine. He enrolled in a school in Alaska."
I nodded blankly. I breathed. "Okay, okay ... thanks, Carlisle."
I made a short sound of alarm as Carlisle enveloped me in an embrace, making sure the child wasn't squeezed between us. I leaned into his coldness.
"I'll do whatever it takes to come back." He whispered. "I'll return with her."
I nodded in his neck, shutting my eyes tightly. "I'll be here."
The coldness slowly faded. When I opened my eyes, he was gone. The only sign that Carlisle was ever here was the smell of fresh bergamot and the sleeping child in my arms.
